“Routine Rewrite”- A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Yeah. I am rewriting my routines again.   Mostly I am trying to make writing more central and along with that reading. This means shifting some things or resigning myself to the fact that days I work don’t have a lot of free time and that is OK.  I am working toward being a published writer and a solid secondary job that allows some progress toward my other goals.

My good report on my health is no cause to rest on my laurels.  I still don’t have a ‘normal’ A1c and I would like to get there. Exercise and nutrition are still central to this so we continue.  Some changes are needed as far as diet and getting back to walking more regularly before the snow flies, and that is all part of my routine as well.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To be following a full paleo diet I need to do a couple more things.  One is to eliminate all liquids that are not water and two get rid of dairy products.  The first means slowly making sure I drink less and less of other things and put more water into my routine instead. The second is a bit harder, I like cheese and cheese has no carbs.  But I must see if full Paleo has solid effects before I modify it with say some Keto elements.

Another thing I am returning to is intermittent fasting.  Mostly from the time I get up until lunchtime.  I skip breakfast and any early snacking.

My cheats on this are to allow one thing I am craving a day and two cheat meals a week which are basically an hour slot of time where I can eat what I want to eat and drink what I want to drink.  Part for social reasons but also it’s nice to get off script every now and then.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting is doing well, but I need to walk more. Fall colors will be out soon and that is not something I want to miss as it is my favorite season.  But also this might be the little bit more that I need to get truly leaned out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Goal achieved here.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Being wise right now is key.  Balance and focus are all important and I need to order my life more effectively so that the things I do each day lead to my eventual success. The best course of action every day is what I am looking for now.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

Of all my routines, this one will probably change the least.  This one is more about execution.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Escape” – Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 12

 

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizards Journal – August 20th, 2019

If you had told me three days ago I would be sitting in a cabin in some unknown location in the upper peninsula of Michigan and writing in a journal I haven’t touched in months, I would have told you that it was highly improbable. But here I am and the last 3 days has been something that definitely took away the boredom of the past couple of months.

Well, it hasn’t been completely boring as sexual activity with an attractive middle-aged pixie is always a treat. Just the right amount of energy and experience. Yes, Lunette and I are still a thing. It’s actually gone quite well other than I began to get alarmed at how much we weren’t paying attention to the situation or doing our research the first couple of weeks.  We were having a lot of sex.

Eventually, though things evened out a bit and the nights with Lunette were a welcome end to a day’s work where we could change gears and just enjoy one another on all levels. She is a different woman since high school.  More conscientious and far less stuck up. I am glad she is with me right now because the situation has gotten dramatically worse.

Three days ago, Amber knocks on the door.  Lunette answers it and she hustles in without the normal ‘is it ok if I come in’. She informs us that the Lioness received communication from the Council which basically amounted to an accusation that she was harboring a fugitive, namely me.  There must have been a leak and that means not all of the mages of House Venus are loyal to the Lioness.  No surprise, but that meant this place being a safe house was over.

We were prepared for this and in a few minutes I had my magic books in my backpack, and I had changed into my traveling garb which was basically a pair of jean shorts, a dark grey t-shirt, and some trail boots.  Lunette for her part has packed some potions in my backpack.  She was going to shrink down in size eventually,  so she had prepared a small outfit made of enchanted leaves and she also had a very small dagger to match.  She kept this stuff in a small box in her back pocket of her cutoff shorts she was now wearing along with her pink t-shirt, so when she shrunk down she could put them on then by pulling it out first.

I cast some wards on the rest of the stuff in the room.  Some things could only be opened by my direct descendants.  Others would basically disintegrate if anyone tried to touch or use them except me. Not leaving anything for the bad guys. The real issue now was how to leave the mansion without being seen or having a fight.

Amber had our solution which as to get to the portal room.  Basically, all these mage types equipped their bases with magic portals.  They were expensive in terms of cost both to create and use, so they tended to be rare. But it would be smart fo the Lioness to be near one so she could get anywhere effectively in the world. The only trick was magic stones were required to power them and they were expensive to make and only lasted a couple times before depleted.

The trick to this portal, in particular, is it was in the second basement at the far end away from us and that meant finding away to get there without being seen.  the second problem was wherein all creation to go once we used it. We had a little time so pulled out the map I had magically made of the mansion thanks to Nevermore and Lunette.  I could look through Nevermore’s eyes and Lunette made him invisible and silent so he could fly about.  Using what he saw I had made a fairly detailed map of the layout of the mansion.

The path through the upper parts was easy enough, the only thing was to slip past all the guards but Amber figured she could escort us where we needed to be.  The second basement would be easily reached through the first level, but then things would get dicey. There was part fo the second basement that was beyond even Amber’s security clearance and one of those was the portal room which was only accessible to the Lioness and a few trusted others.  We might have to fight their way through at that point.

“The second level has illusion countermeasures.  Lunette’s power will be less helpful down there.”

“Yeah, but Lunette and I are good at fighting together, and if I go taking out some of these House Venus female superiority types, that’s a fine way to go.  No offense Amber.”

“No offense taken. I think it is time for me to leave my house anyway.  I was born into it, but I don’t agree at all with their ideals – I like men as more than playthings.”

“So you are coming with us?”, Lunette asked.

“Have to.  They will know I helped you and they will have me executed for treason. Better to take my chances with you, and you need the firepower anyway. Things are going to get hot and you need someone hotter.”

She winked and I laughed. Lunette frowned.

“The real question is where to go once we use the portal?’, Amber’s question and it brought me to the one thing I had never thought of before. Lunette spoke.

“I know a place we could go to.  A safe house I used to use.  It’s a cabin in the upper peninsula and quite secluded.  It is not going to be a permanent place, but it might buy us time.”

“Ok. that actually sounds good. Any chance it is occupied?”, I asked.

“No, it’s a family place and the only ones who used it was me and my parents.”

Amber nodded in agreement and we set out to the second basement.

Lunette basically made herself silent and invisible. We figured if it was only me and Amber I could look like I was being escorted to the Lioness who was usually in the basement. In fact, that was our cover story.  The people in the mansion were used to me walking around as I would do that once or twice every day with Amber in tow so nothing unusual to alarm them.

We reached the stairway to the second level of the basement and paused to collect ourselves.  I knew there were two guards at the bottom of the stairs. If the Lioness was in the second basement, we could get past them with our cover story. I had been in the second basement several times but this is where the invisible Nevermore had been the most helpful.  If not we would have to fight past them.

The Lioness was in the second basement so they let us past, but that meant we might run into her and that would require some fast-talking. I wanted to get out of this place with as little noise as possible. I wanted to leave as many questions as possible after we disappeared as to where we were.  Oddly enough, there were no guards at all on the second level and we walked pretty much in a straight line to the portal room.  I was suspicious as fuck about this and so were my two companions. Lunette especially since she was visible and could be heard.

“Ok, I am going to shrink down.  I smell a fight.  She took out the small box from her back pocket and put it in my palm.  She shrunk down and her clothes collapsed on the floor. She landed on my palm and after opening the box, got dressed and put the belt with the dagger around her waist. She winked at me and I smiled. She knew I had been watching.  I picked up her clothes and put them in my pack.

“Ok, I am ready,” she said as she drew her dagger.

We opened the door to the portal room and were surprised – Only the Lioness was present in front of the portal which looked like a big looking glass about seven feet in diameter and a true circle ringed with a bluish gem-like material.

“I knew you would come here.  I made sure Amber knew about the communication from the Council.  They will be here tomorrow and you need to be gone.”

I was flabbergasted, “You want us to leave, no heads on a platter to save your sensual curvy ass.”

“Thanks for noticing. I do squat in the gym you know?  But yes, I can give you this last kindness, I truly believe in a world where magic is everyone’s to use, but the time for revolution is not yet. You need to go and the portal is the best way to go without anyone noticing.  Here.”

She walked across the room and handed me a blue gemstone pendant and necklace.

“This is the power source for the portal.  It is fully charged so all of you can go with one shot. Whoever is picking the location need only to think of it and walk through holding the other two’s hands.”

“Thanks…you know you could gain some pretty good influence by handing us all over to the Council on a silver plate.”

“Yes, but I gave my word and that means something to me.”

“Thanks again. Janice.”

She looked startled at her real name.  Then blushed.

“Don’t tell me where you are going, the less I know the better.”

She started to walk past me then stopped and leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Take care of Amber for me.  She is special to me.”

Then she walked out.

Lunette took off her leaf clothes and dagger and put them back in the box.  She grew back to normal size and I handed her clothes back which she deftly put on in a couple seconds. I put the necklace and pendant around her neck and she kissed me hard.

“Ok, each of you take one of my hands.”

I took her left hand in mine and Amber took her right.  We walked forward, the mirrored surface gave way and we walked through like it was a vertical pool of water and BLINK.

Suddenly, we were in front of a cabin in the woods.  A rather nice one with real logs and glass windows.  The necklace was gone.  It probably was still in the room we left right at the edge of the portal with the gem now spent of magical energy.  We, however, we’re somewhere in the upper peninsula of Michigan.

These last couple of days have been uneventful.  The problem is we are now out of the loop as far as information.  The cabin is nice enough.  Two bedrooms and an actual bathroom and a common area with a kitchen, small dining table and a couch in front of a fireplace all in one.  Cramped in some ways but close to a lake.  Down the path, a couple dozen feet is a small lake with a shed on the edge. It serves as both storages for the rowboat oars and as a sauna bathhouse.  Food is canned or boxed so we all plan on going to the small town five miles away.  No vehicle so we will have to make a day out of it and walk.

I took Nevermore out of his pocket dimension and let him fly about.  So far no alarm bells.  Well other than the U.P. is known to be a werewolf country. We can’t stay here for too long.  But it will be a nice rest for as long as it lasts.  For me, it is simply good to get outside and walk around.  Neither the pixies or mages claim this part of the world as fully theirs, so it is somewhat safer.   Time, I guess, to wait for a little and see what is next.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Magic – A Skeptical Pagan’s Perspective” – Odin’s Eye

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

In the Pagan world, magic takes a lot of different forms.  In my pagan world of the Asatru, with its Viking heritage, there is a belief in magic.  It is full of shamanism as well as the simple idea of using consciousness to affect the world through the will of the practitioner.  Because in Norse mythology everything has a spirit, then the issue was influencing the will of those spirits to line up with the will of mage.  Most notably the magic of the Vikings seems to have focused on the idea of knowing and fate.  For one to decern the fate of a person and thus decided the best course of action was the goal of Viking magic.  This particular form of magic was called seidr.  The Vikings had other forms but this seems to have been their magical passion if you will.

I freely confess, pagan that I am, I am skeptical of magic.  It stems from seeing the value in science, but as some of the writings on magic point out, the end goals and means of science and magic are very different.  I can get that, so I am not closed off to the possibility of magic.  My problem is my own personal history as a Pentecostal Christian has soured me to the whole idea as what many times was considered ‘miracles’ was either very explainable as mass manipulation and psychology or straight up huckster fraud.  The idea of the divine powers reaching into the lives of people I can accept, I just think that the people who claim to do this need to be scrutinized with a very skeptical eye.

So what about magic in the real world?

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I can believe that the powers that might be would interact with the rest fo us humans. The question I have is whether this is necessary all the time. If in some ways this might be presumptuous on our part to even ask for it.  I start the Pagan Pulpit out with the following paragraph:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

I want to tell you I sincerely mean this. I am not going to presume on any friendship and that includes the divine powers. Faith that they exist – yes.  Presuming that they want to help me – no.

Meditation:

As I have meditated on this question of magic. my biggest personal struggle is that of prayer.  Mostly, as I look at Chrisitan prayer, I see it is talking to one’s self and interestingly enough part fo the self that we actually define as God.  You will find that Christians in general view this ‘God’ very differently.  Everyone has their own very unique perspective on who this person is and interestingly enough shaped in each persons own image of what they want.

Prayer to me seems presumptuous in and of itself.  But self-talk I see the need for as we all do it and those that pay attention to it often are more well adjusted. The real question I suppose is theological.

Theology:

Theologically speaking, the question comes back for me as to whether the powers are benevolent, malevolent or indifferent to the whole question of good and evil. Why would they help us if we ask? Can they be trusted?

Even in the mythologies, I know those are good questions.  Odin, for instance, has a higher purpose in mind and so will not hesitate to sacrifice you his devotee to that cause.   Loki certainly can’t be trusted.  Better not to pray at all and thus leave the whole magic of life to living as virtuous as possible for your own sake. Virtue has its own form of magic as do stories.

Spirituality:

My spiritual side longs for what magic could do, but my skeptical side says better to leave it alone. To practice the more subtle magic of living life as a follower of the Nine Noble Virtues and to tell tales as a Skald.  Bring the more common magic of virtue and story to people.  To not presume on the powers that be, but rather be self-reliant and work hard to attain that I wish.  Magic seems like a dangerous short cut.

Conclusion:

I guess I can leave my fellow pagans with some questions.  Is magic something you practice and why do you do it? Is my skepticism a good thing or a bad one?

For now, I will follow virtue and tell stories of life and the universe. It seems to be a safe path. I still don’t see a good reason to take the short cut of magic.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“An Important Singular Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I look through all my goals, there is one of them that seems to rise to the top.  A singular goal that is very important – finding a new and better paying job.  This is the reason as a man in his late 40s I went back to school and got another degree.  I now have that degree in hand but not a new job. Yet.

No matter how frustrated I get on this issue I attempt to move forward one step at a time.  The most frustrating thing for me is landing an interview. Once that happens my odds go up tremendously because I can sell myself in person pretty well.

Once I have the new job a lot more things will open up for me.  Other goals will be much more easy to attain.  It comes down to putting the best effort I can toward this goal while at the same time keeping the identity of being a writer first and whatever second.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by September 2019.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company by March 2029.

‘By September 2019″ might be very difficult now. But it does show how frustrating this search has been and for how long – since January of this year I have been looking.  I need to take my search nationwide at this point.  I am willing to move anywhere at this point and I need this to happen as soon as possible. I might have to change this to March of 2020 but the goal is important so it needs to happen much sooner than that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

GoalFinalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

This goal was finished four months ago, but it stands as a reminder of two things – I can achieve goals I set for myself and that the clock is ticking for the job goal.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

One goal of many that require a new job and more importantly a new location. I just don’t feel very socially comfortable around my home town anymore.  I trusted people here and in this area and when the chips were down, many of them disappeared ot stabbed me.   I need a fresh start in some other place.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I need to shift in my mind, for peace of mind’s sake, from looking for justice for those that have wronged me.  Might not happen for a while if ever.  I need to be thinking of acting justly toward others that I am trying to form new relationships with.  The problem is that I need then is to move and meet some new people to do this with. I just don’t trust anyone where I am anymore.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Language Study: 15 min. on Latin
  7. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  8. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  9. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  10. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

This a solid routine that gets me closer to all my goals.  The writing should be longer each day as I embrace being a writer more and more. The issue with that is learning to take things one step at a time and be patient with it.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Legal Trouble” – Space Tramp – Chapter 4 (MegaTraveller Fan Fiction)

Happy Tyr’s Day

Story:

Jeremiah walked down the open front ramp of The Regina Strider.  It had been a long year of exploring the edge of the Imperium for new trade routes. The last assignment with the rich patron had been enough for Captian Junos to decided to take a risk and try to trade across the border and look for new avenues to trade. Because this was going to require an expert in navigation, she hired Jeremiah this time as her Engineer and did the pilot/navigation duties herself.   It was still a position suitable for a 3rd Officer, so Jeremiah had accepted.

Jeremiah missed the pilot’s station on the bridge, but he was equally good at being a starship engineer.  He also knew that most of this would be routine because the Captain kept a well-maintained ship.  Besides he wanted to spend some time learning the one thing he still had not learned in order to be a captain – the interstellar legalities of owning and running a starship.  He and the ship’s library computer had become very well acquainted over this last year as he studied.  He also paid a lot more attention to the legal issues when they came into a new port or the captain talked to the local authorities.

The one close call they had during this run was when some of the cargo they were hauling was being unloaded and the crane operator (A Vargr) didn’t secure it properly and it collapsed on the ground and broke most of it. The recipient wanted to sue the Captain, but she deftly reminded them that once the cargo is secured by the operator, it is no longer the legal responsibility of the starship captain but falls on the port authority.

At the end of the year. Jeremiah took the basic certification test for the legal matters of interstellar law that would allow him to operate as a captain of a ship and passed.   It was noted on his records and at that moment he sat back and realized that one fo his first major goals of gaining the necessary skills and certifications to be a Starship Captain was achieved. Now it was just a matter of time and opportunity to make that happen.

As he walked through Regina’s starport he was somewhat relieved that this year there was no test waiting for him at the end. Once again his contract was up in a week or so and he would be looking for a position for the fourth and last year of his first term in the Free Traders. But first was the monthly ritual of heading to the local pub and having a pint of the house specialty and then finding some companionship for the evening.

Jeremiah had taken his captain’s advice to heart. That said, he didn’t always have to pay for that companionship.  He was after all young and fit.  The money he had earned in the Free Trader’s had allowed him to buy better clothes, so he looked and smelled nice.  He was a good looking young man now and his experience in other worlds was far more extensive than most. He handled himself now with confidence that most young men his age did not have. More often than not it was some young lady that would approach him at a bar and in the course fo getting to know each other better, he would find himself at her home in bed with her.

This had its dangers as one time it turned out that the young woman (a lovely olive-skinned brunette) was married and her husband unexpectedly came home. Yeah, his old warball skills came in handy on that one as he basically shoulder blocked the guy unconscious and then got dressed and left. After that, he asked a lot more questions and in some cases preferred the lesser drama of hiring a girl for the night.  He always knew where prostitutes stood as far as jealous significant others.

The one advantage he had in such things was that they were usually never in port for more than a week and he would just move on.  He was in some way relieved this year was over as it allowed him to take stock and see where he wanted to go from here. He had all the necessary skills to be a captain but what other things did he want to know or be able to do to be a great captain.

He mused on this as he walked and then he saw one of his favorite pub/brothel combinations, a favorite of the Free Traders called The Naked Gypsy.  There were a few girls there that he enjoyed the company of and they had an excellent beer. He smiled and walked in. Time enough to worry about the details of his career.  Right now he could taste the beer in his mouth and feel the body of the girl known as Cherry Rose against him in his mind. and he sought to make that a reality.

Megatraveler Notes:

Free Trader 3rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

UPP: A67A74   Age: 20  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 2 

Year Three: 

Roll for position availability: 8+ needed.  +1 Int 9+  rolls 7+1 = 8 finds position.

Roll of Assignment: Rolls 3 + 1 for Soc lower than  = 4-Exploratory Trade

Assignment: Survival: 5+ rolls 6 – survives.  Skill: 5 + rolls 8 gains a skill. Bonus 8+ rolls 7 no bonus.

Skills 1 – Rolls on Free Trader Service table – 4 – Economic cascade – picks Legal-1

With the Legal-1 skill, Jeremiah now has all the skills needed to roll for his promotions every term.

MegaTraveller Shorthand

Free Trader 3rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

UPP: A67A74   Age: 21  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal -1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 2 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Self-Love – The Essential Ingredient for Happiness” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Love

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion

Just a reminder that Of Wolves and Ravens will be the second post on Mani’s Day from now on instead of on Tyr’s Day.

The last time I wrote on the virtue of Love, I engaged the topic of love based on Robert Heinlein’s definition which is love is mutually essential happiness.  I still hold with that which is why turning this idea of mutual essential happiness toward the idea of self-love is personally difficult.  Because it basically amounts to the simple fact that if you do not view loving yourself as essential then you will never be happy even if you love someone else and they in return love you.

I know this from painful experience as my lack of self-love led to a lot of problems with loving others.  It creates an imbalance NOT because self-love is at one end of the scale and loving others at the other end of the scale.  It is actually that self-love is the central fulcrum point on which all other loves are balanced and if the fulcrum isn’t solid the rest will collapse.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

I hope that the above understanding of self-love demonstrates the need we all have for it.  For me, this revelation showed why things went bad and why they also went so bad once they did.  This is the difference,  When your self-love is good, then you consider your love for others as trying to balance all the rest but the central love of self will not be sacrificed while doing it.

When you don’t have that, you are like a juggler that keeps taking on another object to juggle and never considers if they can handle another one. There is no self to maintain so you just keep loving others more and more until it flips to self-loathing and then you focus on that and forget you are juggling. You can’t keep all the balls in the air at that point and they start to fall until you just say ‘fuck it’ and sit down letting them crash all around you and you don’t care anymore.  That’s what happened to me.

Wants (Freki):

This is why I personally spend a lot of time thinking about how to love myself.  Loving others comes naturally to me; loving myself is work but essential work I want to do.  Taking the time to ask the simple question of ‘If I take on loving this person, will it help me love myself or hinder me loving myself? Is this love a benefit or a burden too great for me to carry?” When things are balanced, you are not juggling, but carefully considering if things between yourself and the others you love are balanced on self-love.

Reason (Huginn):

Rationally there is also the fact that loving others and finding that person whose happiness is essential to your own keeps you from narcism.  Loving yourself at the expense of all others needs to be guarded against.  Narcism is probably the basis of all evil shit in the world. Loving others is rationally necessary to keep yourself from that path, but it has to be balanced on the fulcrum of the love of self.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Balancing the love we have for others while maintaining the central fulcrum of the love of self is the issue here. We need both to be happy.  Whenever I feel unhappy, I realize now either something is out of balance or my love for self has slipped.

Conclusion:

Going back through all my discussions on love, I have to get back to the beginning idea that Love is the combination of Courage, Honor, and Truth.  Love takes these and combines them into a very powerful force.  A force that leads us to be happy in this world and that happiness’ essential ingredient is self-love that allows us to keep all our other loves balanced.  It is this understanding of love that now guides me and so far the only issues it raises is about whether certain relationships are essential to my happiness. The most essential of these is the one with myself.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Viking Blood” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Every time I set aside these journal posts for a little while I get reminded of their importance. I feel I lose focus every single time I do it so I might just want to make a mental note that I should not set these aside again – ever. That said, it has been in some way a good break so I can refocus what my life and this blog are about. For those of you that might be new followers, these posts are more for my benefit, but if you can learn something from my example then bonus.

This week I want to focus on my goals so below will be some notes regarding them under each virtue. I figure a four-week focus rotation might keep me from getting repetitious or bored.  Week 1 – Virtue, Week 2 – Principle, Week 3 – Goals, Week 4 – Bucket List.   This will allow for constant review and the ability to focus on more specific aspects once a month.  I haven’t talked about my goals in a while so this will be week 3 so to speak.

The title ‘Viking Blood’ is actually a reference to some good news that happened this week.  I had some blood work done Frigg and Freya’s Day this past week and the results were much better than expected.  All my indicators are right down the middle so I am healthy in that respect and my A1c dropped from 7.5 the last time to 5.7 this time.  1.8 points in the last year and a half.  Diet and exercise are definitely working.   Still no complications due to my diabetic condition.  Good News but still trying to get my A1c into the normal range which I am now .1 away.  This Viking Blood of mine seems to be doing fine.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

When this post drops it will be 344 days straight for the Grey Wayfarer.  That leaves 21 days to go. Goal complete on September 30th.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I am a good job and some savings away from one of my bucket list items.  Getting the tattoo would fulfill one of them. I just need the money.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Now that I have determined my primary identity is a writer, I look at this goal as the first challenge of that. Getting that non-fiction book written my march is doable.  I just need to discipline myself to write every day on it.  I guess I look at this blog as stage one of my journey in becoming a writer and now it is time to write for publication purposes.  Developing the discipline and habits to do that is my next priority along with finding a new job.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I still struggle with keeping my love of self right up there with love for family and friends.  I know what happens when I continue to give up things I want and need to make others happy, eventually, I don’t give a shit and need relief at all costs.  I want to avoid that situation,  so self-love is on my mind a lot. Making sure I am taking care of me is and should be my number one priority. More on this later today.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

As for my Routine, I am going to get back to them a couple of days at a time.  Tomorrow I want to get back to this one in full and then in a couple days my work one and then my rest one. Time to get my work and rest day routines back to where they need to be as this helps me the most with all my stuff.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thor: Thunder God” (Asatru – Part 9) – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Thor’s Thunder” – Nordic Style Folk Music

Meditation:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, text and outdoor

If there is one change in my life that is true, respect is now earned. I don’t just give it to anyone and I don’t care if you are in authority or power, you have to earn it by your character, not because you demand it.

Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

Odin might be king of the gods of Norse mythology, but Thor is definitely the favorite son of Asgard.  Odin was a favorite of rulers and sages, but Thor is the god of the common man and warrior.  He is the bringer of rain and his voice thunders like the thunder he controls.  There is probably no more famous weapon in Norse mythology than Mjolnir his hammer which is considered the most important weapon that will be used in the defense of Asgard.

In mythology, Thor is a red-bearded powerful man who can drink, fight and eat better than anyone.  He often travels with Loki and they have several adventures together.  His cart is pulled by two goats, which can be eaten each night and if all their bones recovered can be resurrected the next day.  He is today and back then the most popular of the Norse deities.

Heathens, followers of Asatru and many others can be seen wearing the hammer of Thor. This hammer to many represents the heathen faith. To the modern heathen, he represents strength, courage, and life as the giver of rain and healing.  He is often invoked in oaths because unlike Odin, only his enemies need to fear him.  Prayers to him are often for rain and strength.

For me, you will find me wearing one of my two thor’s hammers pendants on a chain around my neck every Thor’s Day as a gesture of respect to all heathens and pagans.  I like Thor and his stories are some of the most inspiring and entertaining. He interaciton with Loki very humorous at times.  For those looking for an example of courage in th face of tremendous challenges, look no further than Thor.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, text and outdoor

Never give up.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations – Bringing it All Back to Center” (Plus Blog Notes) – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Sif’s Day

In closing this out I have two things to talk about at length. One is bringing everything back to the center. Secondly, I have been meditating on blog changes for the coming year as well. Today is the 342 straight day of this blog with at least one post a day. 23 to go and another goal achieved for the year.

Back to Center:

With all this meditation on my various identities: Primary, Secondary, and Side, I wanted to get back to the central purpose of it all. The simple question is: Who am I? There is no single answer. After all this meditation, I can confidently conclude that as a human being I have many facets and I will thus have several identities. Everything comes together into this one central person that is me.

The one polarity shift in identity has been to view myself as primarily a writer and secondarily as anything else that will pay the bills better and allow for writing. This means taking writing seriously and making it my main occupation, which means writing a lot more and doing things that go along with it like reading and research.

My job search can now be even more open than it was before. My main issue here is to find something I can enjoy, will be better than what I have now financially and professionally, and will still give me time to write. I don’t what this is yet and as a wayfarer of life that actually is kind of exciting to me.

My side identities are about me and improving me. They are also about enjoying life so I think that I will be always looking at them. The biggest shift this last year was spiritual, notably that my Primary identity of a Christian pastor is truly scrapped and the spiritual side of me is a side identity which doesn’t mean it is not important, it just means that it is a part of my life, not the most dominant thing anymore. I actually find myself more at peace because of this. Being other people’s spiritual guru just doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Blog Notes:

This change in primary identity means some changes to the blog and to my disciplines. Writing the non-fiction book and novel now are more primary to me. Blogging needs to be a good writing exercise and provide my public face. Listing off the projects on this blog:

Journal Posts: I need to get back to doing these every week. I have noticed that on the weeks I do not do them, I lose focus. These three posts a week keep me centered on my goals and provided good reminders of the values I hold dear.

The Pagan Pulpit: I think sometimes I write these for me most of all. It helps me learn Asatru a little better each week and reminds me of each week’s spiritual journey. They are a good weekly milestone if you will.

Of Wolves and Ravens: Having a philosophy post once a week has been good as a more in-depth review of my philosophy of life. It has a practical edge to it that I like and that keeps me thinking.

Odin’s Eye: I like the change I made this week to be more open about this and focus more on my spiritual life as it stands instead. Time to move on from the past and embrace the future.

Crossing Bifrost: I have put this one on hold a lot. The more I got into Norse mythology, the more I knew I was not qualified to write about it. I was using it as a learning platform but I still have much to learn on a lot of subjects before I delve into writing on it again.

The Grey Wayfarer (serial): This little fantasy serial I have closed, mostly because I think it will make a good novel idea once I know Norse mythology a lot better.

Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury: This one is coming to an end. Time to move on and this series kind of holds on to the past a little. I am thinking of a few more posts to round out the story and it will come to an end.

The Rabyd Skald Posts: These are my posts that talk about issues I am facing in more detail. The Grey and The Wayfarer versions are more in-depth times when I am struggling with The Grey. I also use these to talk about the blog and writing so they come up a few times a month. They are not really scheduled but they form something I do regularly.

Skald Tales and Poems: My poetry is here and there is an open slot for short stories I have yet to use but I think I will soon. This is the short writing projects page and mostly so far it si poems. Poems are a bit of a mixed bag for me personally. On the one hand, they help me release emotion to the universe, on the other hand, they remind me of Miss Salty and that can trigger some things I don’t want to feel sometimes. Hopefully, as time goes on the memories in writing a poem will be more positive.

The Skald’s Lyre: Me talking about the music in my life. I like to do this because it can provide a good self-examination of what I ma communicating outside of writing. Music fills the gaps for me in that regard.

The Book of Rabyd: Largely finished, this project is a collection of sayings and principles I follow. It is always a work in progress as I leave it open to add other things, but the main work on it is finished.

Freya’s Chambers: New. Like brand new. Mostly this is my viewpoint on sex and sexually related issues. It is a new project as my world view is changed from Christian to Pagan so it has an effect on this. I also tend to bring in the idea that moral busybodies need to be told to go away.

Space Tramp: Also new but I suspect when it ends I will hed down another road with a different role-playing game so I might eventually put this under the overall title of Roleplaying Fan Fiction where it will be one writing project among many designed to let the dice challenge me in my writing.

There is a lot to unpack and I have some other things to add but the main thing is there is no shortage of things to write on. I am going to raise the stakes going into the new year and basically write journal posts like have been doing but on those days and another post will drop as well,

1) I want to continue the Viking / Norse Mythology Theme some more when appropriate

2) and I need to restructure how the week is laid out with that in mind as well.  I just think it is weird that Odin’s Eye drops on Thor’s Day when Woden’s Day Makes more sense.

3) I need to be more consistent with my fiction practice.

My solution is to restructure the week as follows:

Sol’s Day – The Pagan Pulpit

Mani’s Day – Journal: Foundational Virtues, Of Wolves and Ravens

Tyr’s Day – Fiction Post

Woden’s Day: Journal: Business Virtues, Odin’s Eye

Thor’s Day: Fiction Post

Frigg and Freya’s Day: Journal: Self Virtues, Freya’s Chambers

Sif’s Day: The Skald’s Lyre or Skald Tales and Poems.

The Rabyd Skald Posts will drop when needed and I am putting Crossing Bifrost on hold until I have studied the subject of Norse mythology better. This actually only adds three posts by making the journal post days require another post. Look for the changes starting tomorrow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Captain’s Advice” – Space Tramp – Chapter 3 (MegaTraveller Fan Fiction)

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Story:

Jeremiah felt a moment of Deva Vu as the was waiting in the same waiting room on Regina for his 3rd Officer exam results as he had been for his 4th Officer. The only difference was Kimberly was no longer there. She had been promoted and unfortunately engaged to be married to some other bureaucrat.  He had called her as soon as The Regina Strider had touched down in the Starport; only to get the bad news from her own lips that she was no longer available.  Perils of being away for a year in space on a charter assignment for a rich patron.

It seemed a shame though, as he and Kim had gotten rather intimately acquainted for three days a year before. A good three days of drinking, sex, and conversation.  It ended with a call from Captain Juros who wanted to contract him out for another year. She had contacted The Strider to a rich patron who wanted them to take him and a survey team on tour of some new holdings he had bought in a couple systems.  He wanted a Jump-2 capable starship to save time and Juros had offered up the Strider.  She needed a pilot for the next year.  He took the contract.  Kim and he had sex one more time and he kissed her goodbye.

The next year was uneventful and rather safe, to be honest.  They only did a hyperjump four times, the last bringing them back to Regina.  It wasn’t dull though as he spent a lot of time helping the survey team with the sensors from orbit as the surveyed some areas on a couple planets and some asteroid belt content.  The patron was looking for something specific and didn’t find it, so no bonus, but he paid really well for some of the things they did find.

Because of the extra time Jeremiah spent a lot of time learning Navigation from the library computer and any time he could talk to about it with Captain Juros.  After the second jump, he tested and logged in Navigator skill to his abilities.  The third and fourth jumps, he not only piloted the ship but had been the one who had set the navigation coordinates himself.

“Jeremiah Kilwood”

Jeremiah got up and approached the desk and the masculine voice attached to the new man assigned to Kim’s old position.

Jeremiah identified himself.

“Congratulations 3rd Officer Kilwood, you passed. Here is your new ID.”

He took the new card in his hands which Read “Free Trader 3rd Officer Jerimiah Kilwood – Starship Pilot, Navigator, and Engineer.”

Jeremiah took the card and headed to the local spacer bar.  One that most of the Free Traders liked to go in order to drown their troubles or have a good time.  To his surprise, Captian Juros was there and she looked like she was waiting for him.

“So?”, she asked as he got near.

“I passed – 3rd Officer Kilwood reporting in”.

“Well, done. let me buy you a drink.”

In the next hour, Jeremiah unburdened himself a little to his captain of two years. He told her of his plans to be a captain himself one day and about Kim. He asked Juros about the whole thing because he had never written her and yet he was a little sad she had moved on. He puzzled about this dual problem of seeming not to care but still feeling sad all the same.

“Can I give you some captain’s advice about relationships?”

He nodded.

“You are a Spacer, kid.  My best advice then is to understand that all your relationships are short term. You want a long term relationship, settle down on a planet and find a girl and have kids.  That, however, has no place in the life of a spacer.  You can have a girl in every port if you want, but if they move on, you shrug and move on yourself. Your lover is space itself.  Trust me this will save you a lot of heartaches. Here.”

She slapped a credit note down on the table.

“What’s this for?”

“There is a brothel upstairs, I use it myself from time to time.  One of the men has particular skills I enjoy, but they have some pretty great gals too. Girls who understand you are a spacer and won’t be around tomorrow.  They will let you fuck them, hold you afterward and listen to you for the time allotted with patience. If you do take a lover sometimes, make it in the context of being a spacer and know it is not permanent.”

He nodded and tried to push back the note.

“No, take it and use it. Consider it a promotion present.”

After she left, Jeremiah nursed his drink for another half hour looking at the note and thinking. He had to admit, Captain Juros had good points. I mean, Kim and him had been a good thing for a few days, but she was clearly a planetside person.  He was spacer and any relationship of a romantic nature would have to be with another spacer. Even that though would have to be short term.  He had to admit the thing that meant most to him now was being in space.  At present, no girl was worth losing that.

He downed the rest of his drink and took up the note.  He smiled and headed upstairs.

Megatraveler Notes:

Free Trader 4th Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

UPP: A67A74   Age: 19  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Engineering – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 1 

Year Two: 

Position Availability: 8+ +1 Int rolls: 8+1=9 Serves as 4th Officer.

Assignment Roll: 8 +1 for Soc: 5- =9 – Charter

Survival: 4+ rolls: 12; Skill: 6+ rolls: 7; Bouns: 10+ rolls: 3 no bonus.

Promotion: 6+ rolls: 10 – Promoted to 3rd Officer. Gain one skill.

Skills: 2 Rolls on Free Trader Business table: 5 – Exploratory Cascade – Chooses Sensor Ops – 1; Rolls on Free Trader Business table: 2 – Space Cascade – Choses Navigation – 1

Having been promoted as an officer this term he is not eligible for another until his second term: Gains one Brownie Point for the promotion.

Megatraveller Shorthand:

Free Trader 3rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

UPP: A67A74   Age: 20  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 2 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!