Month: August 2019

“Loyal Like Sigyn” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day.  Also a Happy Birthday to my wife. 

Journal Entry:

Sigyn is the goddess of loyalty and there is only one tale that survives that shows what this means.  She is the wife of Loki and Loki’s punishment for killing the beloved god Baldur is to have a snake drop deadly venom on his forehead.  Sigyn demonstrates her loyalty to Loki by using a cup to catch those drops so they do not hit his forehead. Periodically it was said that she had to leave to dump the cup and this is when Loki would feel the venom and writhe in agony causing earthquakes.

I am not sure if Sigyn is a good or bad example of loyalty.  It is also questionable how she is loyal to – Loki or humanity.  Is she trying to prevent the suffering of Loki or humanity at the hands of the earthquakes Loki causes as he responds to the agony of the venom?  She doesn’t display loyalty to the rest of the gods as she is trying very much to interfere with the decree of Odin.  If anything this story provides a great example of how fidelity or loyalty can get pretty complicated.

What I feel is needed with fidelity/loyalty is simple – priorities of loyalty. Rules also would help.  I will probably discuss this in greater detail in my post in a few weeks in Of Wolves and Ravens when I touch on Asatru and Fidelity. My initial thoughts are to prioritize my loyalty among the list of divine, family, friends, and self. and then create those rules that create a balanced understanding.  The thing is after so many years of being loyal to others at the expense of being loyal to myself, I feel loyalty to myself needs to be first. Then Loyalty to the rest is a sort of circle of fidelity around me. There is much thought an meditation to do here yet, so I will leave it at that.

For now, the story of Sigyn inspires thought on the subject of fidelity if nothing else.  For that this one fragment of her story that survives is beneficial in that regard.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutritionally, I need to tighten things down a little and get the carbs as much as possible out fo my life again.  If there is anything I struggle with specifically it is things like bread and other common American diet things like that that are still in very limited ways part fo my diet. I am at the point where more micromanagement of my diet might be necessary to lose any more fat.  Since March of 2018, I have dropped from 348 lbs. to 280 lbs. through a combination of moving toward a more Paleo Diet, weightlifting and walking. At this point, it is simply a matter of getting more specific in the dietary aspects.  I am probably 80 % Paleo and I need to get to over 90 to 95 % with maybe a cheat meal once per week so eat things I enjoy.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I think I have become too reliant on 13-week sections of weightlifting as far as the planning.  By the 8th or 9th week it is hard to stay focused on the same routine.  I am thinking, starting next week that my programs will be two months long instead of three with automatic changes every two months instead.  This might keep things fresh. I am also thinking I ma ready to start adding in the barbell exercises again. Walking is becoming difficult as my boots are getting worn and I need to change them out.  I really need that new job soon as there is a lot of little things that are starting to pile up that need monetary attention.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I have already talked about my loyalty issues above, but the main thing is loyalty to myself.  That cannot be overemphasized. If my other relationships undercut my loyalty to me, then it is going to be hard for me to maintain them.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am trying to make wise decisions here.  What is the most loving thing to do?  What is the justest thing to do? What is the wisest thing to do? All of this focuses on myself though, because if I lose me, then all is lost.  I already know what happens when I forget myself and sacrifice everything for others.  I end up destroyed and doing very foolish things.  The wisest course will involve the most love, justice, and wisdom that is self-directed first and then to others second.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

My son and I have started a kind of two-person book club and we will be starting to read a book together.  It is a natural fit in my reading slot here.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Naked Before Who?” – Odin’s Eye – The Grey Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day.    

Discussion:

On May 17, 2013, I wrote this post: Naked Before God – Part 1 – The Positive Spiritual Side of Nakedness.  It was the first post in a series of posts called Naked Before God.  At the time, I was trying to reconcile some findings I had found in my biblical study of nakedness and current Christian practice and its perception of nudity. At the end of that post, I reflected on six positive spiritual aspects of nudity.  Vulnerability, Openness, Intimacy, Genuineness, Wholeness, and Equality.

Those qualities are very spiritual when you think about them as they go to the core of who we are and how we perceive ourselves in relationship to others and the world.  Of course, the problem with this series of posts now; for me personally, is what do I mean about the word ‘God’?

I personally still find being an at-home nudist beneficial.  I am actually quite private about it with no real exhibitionist tendencies being introverted as I am.  That said, I am as comfortable in my own skin as I am in clothes.  Actually sometimes more comfortable because of the spiritual qualities I outlined so long ago still remain true despite my change in faith/religion/spirituality. My issue is redefining how this means to me spiritually.  The change is not the spiritual qualities of nudity so much as the notion that the Christian god is the one I am naked before is no longer true to me.

I suppose this is going to take some time and meditation to redefine, but the problem seems to be that some of these spiritual qualities are dependent on there being some divine force to be naked in front of in the first place. There is also the issue of whether such a divine force gives as shit cares about it.  Yet, I feel at these times that I have spiritual peace or at least a better possibility of spiritual peace than at others.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Faith:

I know it sounds strange, but I feel that my faith in myself grows in my times of spiritual meditation and part of that is connected to the fact I meditate in the nude. All the spiritual qualities combine at the time. I am open to the universe around me and vulnerable to it. I can see myself for who I truly am (genuineness) – equal to every other man and woman.  There is a non-sexual feeling of intimacy with myself and the world I don’t experience otherwise. I am the whole and true me and me alone.  This faith or whatever you want to call it has lead to a lot of inner healing for me. To those of you out there who practice ‘magic’, is this magic?

Religion:

Of course, I have to from time to time shuck off the shackles of my former religion which trains people to be ashamed of being naked.  I now believe this is what leads to a lot of body image problems and poor self-image problems for people. There was a fear developed in me from an early age by my past religion that if I was naked I should be ashamed of it, my body and being naked automatically lead to sexual sinful thoughts. None of this is objectively true, but if you are going to dominate and manipulate a person, engaging in shaming people for who they are in truth is a good start.  Nudity and sex are great targets for this.  I don’t buy any of it anymore but the indoctrination still has a few things that cause irrational fear that I have to throw off.

Theology:

It is interesting that in pagan theology, there seem to be a lot less moral codes about nakedness.  If anything, there is at worst neutrality about the subject, or at best blatant positivity about its benefits.  The naked pagan walking in the woods is probably a common and an accepted image.  We are human and come into this world naked.  It is our most natural state and foundational spiritual state, and so it is considered beneficial by most.  Whatever power that be that made/evolved us, doesn’t seem to mind our nakedness, so why should we.

Spirituality:

If there is a spiritual challenge to nudity for me now it is twofold. 1) The dumping of artificial man-made social mores that no longer apply to me.  2) Coming to terms with the fact there is a call in my heart to more social nudism.  The first I find it easier every day I spend in the buff doing normal and everyday things. The second is the simple fact that much of the spiritual qualities I have outlined that nudity possesses are incomplete without others to experience them with you. It is a value shift for me that is probably been long in coming, considering how long I have been addressing the subject of spiritual nudity. It isn’t a question of spiritual negativity anymore for me, but a practical question.

Conclusion:

The main question of this post still remains as to who I am naked in front of anymore. If not god, then who.? Do such powers even care? Mostly I think I am naked with myself and coming to terms with the fact that I am very comfortable with it and becoming more so every day. It is a part of my daily at-home activities particularly when I am alone. Only time will tell if I gain a more spiritual understanding of myself and the people and world around me as a result.  There is a part of my journey that now involves walking this path.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!