Meditation

Odin’s Eye – The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side – Adaptation and Balance

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side.  This post and those titled like it to follow in the future are largely just me looking through the Eye, so to speak at my own spirituality. To gaze into my own spiritual journey and come up with some observations I hope will be helpful to me as I continue to walk my life.

I would say that the two great struggles I have had since leaving my religion and my ministry have firstly been to adapt to the change and secondly try to find some way to achieve balance spiritually speaking.

I suppose part of the problem is defining my spirituality:

  1. I want my spirituality to be my own journey of discovery. That is why religion and I have a problem.  That is, I see all of them as being someone else’s journey of discovery that other people follow.
  2. I want my spirituality to embrace all that I am in balance.  Reason, Emotion, Relationships, Health (Both mental and physical) and that aspect we call Spirit must all be involved equally. Most of my spirituality is about achieving balance between all these things.

Back to the two struggles, adaptation is a struggle because I am very conscious of the fact that I was engaged in a lot of spiritual activities as a Christian that I would consider irrational now.

  1. I went to church, but I now understand what that was.  It was the reinforcement of belief by repetition, not necessarily by coming to understanding the truth, but group think and emotional experience are powerful ways to teach you how to deny what is true.
  2. I prayed, but I have realized that I was probably talking to myself most of the time.  Even if there is a god, the way I was conceiving him as I prayed him took on the aspects of my earthly father.  it was my concept of god I was praying to, not necessarily the divine power that actually exists.
  3. I worshiped, but that conception of god was my own creation, so I was worshiping my own ability to conceive god. I don’t do a lot of this anymore.  I honestly can’t say I miss it much.
  4. I studied the Bible.  But this was about repeating something over and over again and when you do that you are just training your mind to think a certain way. Doesn’t mean that way is true or right.

In my adaptation, I don’t want spiritual practices that don’t also leave me open to see possibilities I may not have considered or get me to be dogmatically telling others what “The Truth” is at the expense of their own freedom to figure it out themselves.  it leaves very little other than practicing meditation on the virtues I want evident in my life and living life with a spiritual eye.

The other struggle is balance. Keeping one thing from dominating so much that the others are neglected.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith in myself. Like it or not it is all I really have. People say that might be a poor thing to have faith in and they may be right.  However, my self is all I really know I must have faith in, because it is the best thing I have to place my faith in that I know is real. Other things I will list that I have faith in I know based on my experience and reason that this is so, but I still must say I have a little less faith in these things than myself for obvious reasons. My wife, my small circle of friends, humanity all are worthy of various measures of my faith because they are real and proven through their actions.  That said at the end of the day the only one who can keep my spiritual life in balance is me.  The only one I can ultimately trust is me.

Religion:

I really try to avoid being religious, the problem is religion is very prevalent in spirituality, and eliminating it can be quite a challenge. The issue religion brings to the table is how much of other people’s spiritual experiences can be used to help my own and which ones are just controlling or fear mongering.  I find that if a spiritual notion leads me to being afraid or is trying to ‘force’ me to certain activities then it is a religious element to be rejected.  I just have time for notions that basically without proof try to tell me what ‘the truth’ is.  I think there may be many truths, but one single monolithic truth?  No.  I don’t think the universe is that small. If there is any force that can take me off my notion of balance it is religion.

Theology:

The most elementary shift in my thinking theologically speaking it is realizing that sin is a made up concept.  The writers of the Bible or any other holy book that talk about sin, just straight up called what behaviors they didn’t like ‘sin’.  Therefore, they took it upon themselves to speak for the divine as to what offends the divine. They offer no direct proof for this.  They claim it, but never prove it

Theologically speaking then, is humanity then inherently evil because they have picked up a sinful nature then?  No.  I have not proof one way or the other about that either. It is just asserted.  So when it comes to my spirituality it is not so much avoiding or overcoming sin anymore. My spirituality has shifted more to the notion of making myself better by strengthening what is positive or turning something negative into a positive. I don’t believe that part of my humanity needs to be destroyed or redeemed anymore.  I just think all elements of my humanity (needs, wants, reasoning, wisdom, etc.) need to be focused and work together to help me grow with balance.

Spirituality:

All of life then becomes just as much spiritual as it is anything else.  From taking a shower, to going to work, to making love to even me sitting right now and writing on this blog. All of it has the potential to strengthen me spiritually.  I simply have to find the element of each activity that helps me become a better person.  What is it that leads to long life, prosperity and balance.

Conclusion:

The issue I find is still the issue of balance and adapting to being an X=Christian.  Sometimes I find myself thinking about an issue and asking “Is that the former Christian talking or is it the real me?” It is the current state of my Spirituality as I walk the path of life. It is a question that comes up often.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Navigating Stormy Seas

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

Last week it was talk of a master plan.  This week it is trying to find a course to chart.  If I have a weakness here it is figuring out where I want to go from here.  I guess it is on the one hand understandable.  After doing one thing for twenty years, going a completely different direction which is in large part unknown is difficult.

I guess sometimes, I do feel like the viking boarding the ship and the notion of that captain is to just set sail into uncharted territory and see where we land in the end. You still have to pick a direction to sail, and that is the thing. What direction to sail?

There is also the issue of The Grey having created a bit of an emotional storm to navigate.  It is; however, subsiding a little. I guess I still struggle with unfinished business. I still struggle with not being able to end certain relationships the right way. They need to be ended, but they kind of don’t sit well with me right now. I guess I still struggle internally with trying to figure out the just way of doing so.

I think I have made  the decision to follow the business path as my basic compass direction.  I think it is the path that will allow me to use skills I already have and my education to the best use.  I am thinking a fully online MBA while I work in business; from an educational point of view, would be a good next step there.  I just don’t know where specifically this will take me. What shore will I ultimately land on.  Well that is the adventure part, isn’t it?  To pull out of the storm, I could really use an adventure right now.

I also have decided to actually make a plan for writing that novel.  That is my bucket list item and it could be a career if I get one novel to be published the right way,  It is something I can do in a few hours a week at first.  I have participated in National Novel Writing Month a few times and know you can write a lot of things in a short time.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I guess the issue here is that I feel I have achieved self-reliance of a sort for myself and my wife.  I mean we could use greater prosperity, it is the line about ‘family, clan, tribe and nation’ that I ponder from time to time.  It may affect my career path and affect me decisions about what course to set and what education to pursue.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I work hard.  I enjoy working.  I want to enjoy my career again.  I haven’t felt that enjoyment of occupation in about three years now. I want it back because it really gives you a sense of purpose.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I wrote on hospitality yesterday.  I guess right now I am meditating on how to be a person who people feel at home in my presence. It is an interesting thing to think on.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I struggle with justice.  I don’t vengeance, I want justice and that is much harder to achieve.  Probably at the center of the source of this storm right now is this desire for justice and knowing it might never happen.  There is also the notion that perhaps the scales are balanced because I am not exactly innocent here, but then again real friendship shouldn’t be about guilt or innocence.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently one a day.

Daily stuff can be the greatest struggle during the Grey.  I give in to the temptation to skip things a lot during these times, but I notice when I don’t I get a little better, so things do get done. Just not everything some days.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I made finding a new job a goal by the end of March now, it is simply a practical change seeing I haven’t found one yet. I don’t keep track of goals that either don’t pan out or I have to modify. You never want to focus on your failures.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Tax time coming.  I am hoping that step one will be in place because of it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Between Battles

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have a lot more time off this week than normal from work.  I only work three days and for a total of a little more than twenty hours.  Not the greatest for the bank account but from a certain perspective it is an opportunity to do some other things and have the time to get my new career going.

So this week is also a good opportunity to do some thing to make life at home better and take a look at what can be done about things that are not getting down right now.  It is not truly going to be a week of rest so much as time between battles to adjust, train and fix my weapons and adjust my armor to use the warrior analogy.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I am feeling my life is getting more about the future and less about the past every day.  That is good. It’s nice to put past battles in the past and look forward to see what new ones are on the horizon. Self-worth or honor is something that is growing in me and has reached the point that I feel I am more valuable than my current employment level. Time to find a more honorable occupation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The real issue as always is Courage. Putting myself out there are my age and with kind of restart attitude is a little challenging, but a little courage goes a long way.  The right thing to do all across the board is to act and get this next step moving in my life.  The time between battles is a time to focus and prepare and then take those steps toward the next challenge.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is, I still find this task daunting at times.  It is not something I was completely unprepared for.  I was going to school for a reason after all.  It is jut the events of this last year have made this a little bit of a crisis moment instead of smooth transition.  Trying to smooth out some of that bumpy road is also a between battles task.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My motivation is all this is the woman of my life now.  My wife of almost thirty years.  The sad thing is this relationship almost came to an end.  The joyous thing is that at the last moment we both decided to give it another shot and so far it is working.

The one thing that is truly good is the realization that love does not allow you to take relationships like this for granted.  You can’t assume because love is active not passive and you have to keep expressing it to have it work. I guess if there is a silver lining to all this; it is this lesson, and we both have learned it. Forgiveness is definitely a needed, but more importantly is the need to proactively keep your love growing and pure.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I like the changes and meditation is starting to feel more normal.  I did give up the lotus position thing and settle for just sitting in my chair instead but I feel that this still is a relaxed position that allows me to meditate without distraction.  I still want to add candle and incense to the whole thing but it is mostly a matter of money that this hasn’t happened.  This is an important thing to me and I don’t want to be cheap about it or not get something that truly works for me.  It should be noted that I look forward to getting up in the morning which is one of the goals here.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Yeah, I know I can do some things on this list very quickly if I wanted to.  However, as I sit here between battles and think to myself one of the harder things needs to come off of here by July.  It needs to be something significant.

Weightlifting:

I am thinking of baby steps at this point.  A portable dumbbell bench and a few dumbbells might get me back into the basics for muscle tone purposes. Once I know where I am working, I can look for a gym but even then a good home gym long-term is a better solution.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 3)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Concluding this week of Finding Peace and Rest we end with the Self Virtues.  The Foundational Virtues provide overall philosophy and the Business Virtues provide dealing with others.  Self Virtues are primarily about dealing with one’s own self and thus that is where they provided peace and rest. I feeling of personal calm and serenity is the goal here.  The image of the meditating warrior who is at peace with himself and thus at rest is what is evoked here.

Self Virtues provide Peace and Rest through habit and a positive mental state.  I could say that even when I am at work, I am at peace and I am at rest when these virtues are still in the front of my mind. Discipline provided peace and rest because it eliminates worry and confusion as it step by disciplined step helps me grow and come to terms with what I am trying to become. Perseverance will of course will not allow me to be defeated, which means I will win and find that peace and rest on the other side of victory. Fidelity provides rest in that I know I am loyal to those who have shown loyalty to me, and rest because I can find rest in knowing where I stand with each person.

With these in place a full picture comes to mind of a meditating warrior king on his throne, presiding over a prosperous kingdom at peace and at rest from war. This is not chance but living of all the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Discipline is what leads to habit and habits re-sculpt us into what we want to be. In my mind bad habits are simple discipline gone bad. Good habits are the result of discipline that is directed toward an image of what you want to be. Applying this to everything it can be applied to has been a wonderful challenge. The thing here is that I will continue to do so so that one day when I get the chance to help develop others again, I will have the insight to do so.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

If there is one virtue that comes so naturally it is like breathing, it is perseverance. I guess my family has a little to do with this as ancestrally we don’t quit. But the day personally this was really put to the test was the day I got up for my second football practice in High School.  That took a lot of perseverance and it is a character trait that has stuck with me ever since. Right now it is helpful as memories of past failures are constant but I keep going despite them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Who has been loyal to me?  They get my loyalty in return.  That circle is small and elite. This virtue has at least the simplicity of being easy to understand. Harder to execute sometimes.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is not hard here when you get a look at the big picture of Peace and Rest.  life always has the challenges to living and survival and the goal of peace and rest is difficult at times at best.  Mostly though it is the choosing of the right path where wisdom is most needed. It is these crossroads and forks in the road of life that peace of mind and rest of spirit puts you in the best frame of life to make good decisions.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The truth is weightlifting and walking are non-existent right now but I keep them on the list as a constant reminder of what is needed yet.  Cleaning and Writing go off without a hitch most weeks and the cheat meal count has worked well this week and it keeps me mindful of where I am at with that.  I am thinking that I can start to collect dumbbells for the purpose of weightlifting.  Walking is really not a problem when the weather is nicer.  I wish I had winter gear worth a damn but right now the cold and snow are extreme in Michigan, so no walking for me. Spring is a couple of months away.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

This is a challenge like I thought it would be.  I think the trigger for the routine needs to be supper time.  That is when so far it has worked the best when I go right from eating to the routine. There is a gap sometimes between reading and going to bed that way but at least it gets done.

Nutrition:

The big change this week is that I will be tightening up the diet starting Sunday to one cheat meal a week and one carb source a day. This won’t be normal, but it is the lead in for building up to being in the best shape I can be in for my birthday.  The month before that the goal is no carbs for a month. Intermittent fasting is now pretty much every day as I don’t eat the first eight hours after I wake up.  So far this is not hard.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – This weeks theme of peace and rest starts here.  Honor, Courage and Truth are what leads to both and I am learning how much that is true.

Business – I am starting to have a vision of what I want to be and things are moving forward. I seek the rest and peace of Self-reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality. I feel optimistic about this area of my life.

Self – I still struggle with personal peace at times.  Made harder by the fact this time last year a lot of shit started and I am struggling with the memories of it. Mostly it was a lot of wasted emotional investment and struggle.  That said, I feel I am on the right path on this.  Just have to walk through The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) for me are about peace and rest in the end.  It is about putting yourself into a position to be free to the point where there is nothing but peace. The NNV are about achieving this warrior’s peace.  They may be a warrior code but the end result; the end desire is peace. It is the image of the honorable king on his throne.  His acts of courage have cause his enemies to sue for peace and his commitment to truth means his people trust him. He and his realm are at rest, peace and growing in prosperity.

The Foundational Virtues achieve this in a multitude of ways, but mostly they end anxiety and worry.  Honor means you are at peace with yourself and no longer are anxious about your inner battles. Courage means you act instead of worrying about things.  Truth means you are not anxious about what you understand and believe. You know you pursue what is honorable, courageous and true so there is little to fear when it comes to inner conflict, cowardice or lies unless they are in others.  You simply know and are at peace that you are honorable, courageous and truthful.

This week has a simple goal.  To complete as many things as possible each day but also to introduce some rewards for completion of the day, so it is in my best interest to start living things.  The planning and all the organization is mostly over.  There will be small adjustments to be sure and a growing understanding of what I am doing, but the skeleton of my vision for myself is finished. Now it is simply time to flesh it out by living it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The meditation each morning has really started to help with my sense of inner honor and peace. I have gotten to the point also where I can move through life and don’t give a shit what dishonorable people think about me. But I also value people and their opinions when I can see honor in them.  I don’t know if I have achieved everything here; but I feel like I have achieved a level of honor, and I am looking to try to build to the next one.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have actually acted in courage a lot this past week.  There were people to talk to and confront about certain issues and I have done that. I don’t know what the results will be, but I have don what needed to be done at the right time. I still have some people who try to push this Alpha Wolf around.  They find it more difficult than they think and it is amusing to me. I working on making sure this doesn’t spill over into asshole behavior as I try to respect the humanity of others no matter who they are. But if you don’t respect me; well that’s not my problem, but it will be yours if you take it too far with me. I accept the loneliness tha goes along with some of this but that’s the price of being a wolf instead of a sheep.

See the source image

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth that is most challenging is the one you find in the mirror.  That said, I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror anymore. That’s the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find a great deal of peace these days in the arms of my wife.  The love we are growing has old roots but it has new branches and that is very good. It pulls everything together when I am holding her.  The king needs his queen’s love and that is particularly true for me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Thus routine is getting more and more automatic.  The meditation time is becoming more productive and focused and so another goal is achieved here. Of all my routines it is the one with the least problems, if any.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This is the stuff that makes life worth living.  I need to look at it that way and I think something will cross itself off of here very soon.

Weightlifting:

Until I have a new job and know where I am working for a while, the gym question is a little problematic. I probably could solve this problem by building up a set of dumbbells slowly over time as I can afford them plus a compact but functional weight bench. It isn’t the best equipment for what I do, but it would save time and be versatile.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – How to Deal with Illness

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I spent the majority of the weekend in bed.  I even called in to work to tell you how bad it was. Except I have learned that the best way for me to handle things when I am sick is to rest and sleep as much as possible.  Let my body have all the resources it needs to fight off whatever it is and then I recover quicker.

When it comes to my routines, meditation, etc. It pretty much goes out the window that day.  Some things take precedence over those things and recovery of health is one of them. That said, I woke up Sunday, did my morning routine and headed out the door to work. I wasn’t 100 percent but I was capable of working so there I went.  My hope was hope was to get back home and rest some more.

That said some meditation found its way to my sick-bed.  It is strange the things you think of when you are sick and perhaps it is best not to dwell on anything too much in that state of mind.  Nothing positive will come of it.  But Meditation was used to calm myself down a couple of times and relax so I could rest.  The point of routines is to develop strengths that you can use in moments of crisis or struggle and sickness is a little of both.

I started the week coming out of sickness but still managed to go the first day pretty strong but probably resting and sleeping more than I wished.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think one of the hardest things to do while sick is maintain a positive attitude. You really have those moments of challenging your self-worth or honor.  it is hard to see the end of things when sick, like certain sicknesses will end eventually.  It’s probably the only positive thing you can think of at the time – ‘this too will pass’.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I don’t know if courage counts while sick unless you are facing something major and life threatening. The normal flu and colds are mostly a matter of Perseverance.  But I have to say when you feel sick and have to function and do so I might take an action of courage to keep going.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth.  I am not immortal. I am not invulnerable. I am not super man.  I am human and subject to human frailty. Hard lessons every time I am sick but lessons I need to remind myself of each day.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My wife is a saint when I am sick.  I ask very little of her because I don’t want to be one of those men who is a big baby when he is sick.  That said, she often does a lot of things on her own to help me and take care of me. I have to say there is a lot of love to it and for that I am very grateful.  I always plan to return that when she is sick.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Major adjustments here are the removal of Breakfast and Supplements and Medications which are now part of the evening routine.  Meditation is now more ‘formal’ but also more focused on what it needs to be.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I think number 2 is up first. then number 6 for the second half of the year.  I just need a better job with more income to make the first happen.

Weightlifting:

I don’t know, the problem of getting a new gym is made more complicated by the fact that I have no idea where my new job might be. This would have a tremendous bearing on that subject.  I don’t want my new gym to just be a temporary place but a new gym home and that means I would have to have some sense of permanence to both my work and life which is something I don’t have right now. I might simply have consider what I can do at home for minimal cost.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Unlocking My Meditation

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

This week I am looking a tweaking certain things about my routines so I am going to look at each journal post and see what needs to be tweaked.  Under Foundation Virtues is some discussion my Morning Routine and Bucket List and oddly enough they are going to go together.  The way they are going together is through meditation.

One of my only concerns with the Morning Routine has been meditation.  I originally thought what I need to do is formalize things a bit.  Make them more structured.  I think that will happen, but I now feel I shouldn’t look at it that way.   I would rather look at it as making changes to unlock the potential of mediation for myself.

What I picture is meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues, picking one principle from one of them to meditate on, then meditating on one of my goals, and one bucket list item. This would involve a nine-day rotation.  It would then end with emptying my mind and doing a basic relaxation technique. I have nine virtues, nine goals and nine principles.  The only problem is I have ten bucket list items so it would involve removing one of them.

I have been debating the use of aids on this.  Most notably a candle and a symbol focus. The symbol focus I have used and it would probably be the Valknut. I am thinking a medallion that after meditation I can wear around my neck as a constant reminder.  The candle is also a focus I have used in the past and it a powerful one where I have gotten so lost in meditation that I lose track of time.  I am going to try a candle with a timer from my smart phone to offset this potential ‘problem’. Position has always been an issue and  I am going to go lotus for a while.  It usually hurts my knees but mostly I think that is because I am not used to it.

So far there are several things I do that are going to stay.  1) Nine Noble Virtues – Meditation on a virtue or virtues really works.  It definitely is a much higher thing to meditate, on than what I want to do that day. I may however add meditation on the higher virtues as well. 2)  Nudity – I have to say there is something very beneficial about literally throwing off all encumbrance, including clothing, to meditate.  No clothes and the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band. There is something very liberating, free and open about this state when meditating.

The main goal now is to unlock the potential of this part of my morning routine so that I gain insight, enlightenment, a positive mental state and motivation from it.  The ultimate goal is to have a highly effective ten minutes of meditation that accomplishes all of this regularly.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Meditation has also been very instrumental in getting me back into a more positive attitude and mental state about my future and giving me that much-needed self-examination that leads to a sense of self-worth. A sense of honor is something I have gained while meditating.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing to do and when to do it is not clear.  I have found mediation to be the key at times in discovering both.  Then all that remains is to actually act and meditation can steel my heart to do that.  Meditation helps with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I cannot underestimate the number of times clarity, enlightenment, insight and other things like this have been part of my mediation results. Truth has been unlocked at certain times, and for that I am very grateful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

A feeling of well-being and a feeling of being loved and loving are sometimes very present in my meditation times. I guess in many ways it is how I have learned to love my wife more and more each day.  It has at least been a tool for unlocking my understanding of my love for her and I would say some of the same mental state of openness and freedom has slipped over into the times we make love as well.  Love of life and the world around me is a very present feeling when I meditate as well and I want to unlock that further.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditation
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I have made the line for meditation just that.  The process inside of this simple word will be written down in my paper journal until it becomes more automatic. Much of what happens in routines is that I have to follow what I want by looking at a list at first.  This can be clumsy and awkward at first but the more I do it, the more natural it becomes. Meditation changes will be like that too but I think it will be worth it.

As a side note my meditation time spills over into my full body stretch and I am thinking of doing some more yoga type stretches with this.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Removed starting my own business. As I look to the future this bucket list item will be a goal under something involving my career eventually.  It will make its way to my goal list eventually so it isn’t really gone, just shifted in timing and placement.

Weightlifting:

This is one activity that meditation is a big part of when I do it.  Every set is preceded by a mental focusing and as the set is being done, mental focus is very important. It is this meditational aspect that I miss just as much as the challenge of the iron.  I will hopefully get back to this soon. I have the money now to get a gym membership going at least.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Feeding Wolves and Listening to Ravens

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day.  

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “In The Year of the Wolf” – Motorhead

Poem: “My White Raven” by Just Patty

See the source image

As I was doing some poetry searches for the pulpit this week I found this poem.  It is a pretty tribute using the wolf and raven analogy and I must say it made me tear up a little.

Meditation:

See the source image

Song of Preparation: Raven Wing – Iced Earth:

Text:

“It’s OK to Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens First” – Ed Raby, Sr.

Sermon:

I suppose it was inevitable that I would include a quote form myself eventually in the Pagan pulpit. This one came to me sometime this last summer but it really didn’t become the mainstay of my philosophy until after the first week of August or so.  A reflection of lessons learned and a change of heart at that point in my life.  I have a poem I am working on that reflects some things that happened at that time.  Mostly though I came up with this line at that time that pretty much sums up a major tenet of my philosophy these days.  The core of it is this notion of Wolves – Needs and Wants  and Ravens – Reason and Wisdom.  This of course has been the core of the whole Of Wolves and Ravens series on philosophy, but I haven’t written directly on this expression in a bit and it bears repeating.

“It’s OK to feed the Wolves…”

It is OK to fulfill your needs and wants.  It’s OK.  I know religion and other forces want to act as some sort of control mechanism of defining good and evil, but in truth I am not sure such a distinction truly exists.  There are simply some ways of feeding the wolves that are not reasonable; nor are they wise.  As I pointed out last week, I don’t sit there waiting for someone else to make the moral decisions of my life for me. I make them myself, as it is truly only my responsibility to make them.  That said, I don’t think what I need and want is necessarily evil or bad in and of itself.  It is often how those needs and wants are met; what decisions are made in how to meet them, that either makes them beneficial or a detriment.

“…but Listen to the Ravens First.”

That’s where engaging our Reason and Wisdom before we just run off and start pursuing the fulfilling of our needs and wants.  To think about how thy should be pursued and for what reason is key.  Reason and Wisdom need to guide our pursuit.

It is probably and interesting thing in nature that Wolves and Ravens enjoy each other’s company in the wild.  They seem actually to look out for one another.  Wolves benefit from the advantage of having eyes in the sky and that caw from the ravens when something is nearby and the Ravens benefit from both company and the protection of the pack when they eat.

There is a lesson in all that for making sure that Needs, Wants, Reason and Wisdom work in harmony. The Ravens don’t Decry the Wolves and the Wolves don’t ignore the Ravens.  The respect each other and work together.  These forces in our lives should be made to do the same,

I don’t know if this saying; which as far as I can tell is my own creation, might of helped you today.  I just know when things get tough I bring it to my mind and ask what needs or wants do I need to fulfill and what the most reasonable and wise course of action might be to fulfilling them.  I feed my inner wolves, but I listen to the my inner ravens first.

Closing Song: Unwell – Matchbox Twenty

I found myself revisiting this song this week.  I guess when I fight depression it becomes a song of hope for me.  It’s doesn’t fit the Wolves and Ravens theme, but it makes sense for my week. This has been on of those ‘loss of interest’ depression battle weeks, but I think I am coming out on the other side of it now and mostly it is because of this song.

Parting Thought:

See the source image

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Adding Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Knowledge might tell you it is raining, wisdom tells you to take out an umbrella or find cover, etc. Wisdom is hard to completely define as well but its actions are clear.  When one finds themselves at a fork in the road of life, wisdom tells you what branch to take that is going to be the best.

Adding Wisdom is to the self Virtues is a natural fit, as wisdom ultimately affects us personally the most.  Discipline is about being wise of looking ahead so greater and greater purposes can be achieved.  Wisdom says to keep going despite failure and defeat because to stop is to die and no longer be truly alive. Fidelity is the wisdom of keeping your relationships strong, and being loyal to those who are loyal to you makes you stronger.

For me, this image of standing a crossroads happens often in life; it is what it means to be The Grey Wayfarer for me.  Wisdom is the process of assessing which path is best.  Wisdom guides the decision and thus becomes a very important higher virtue.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The real trick right now is to make sure routines are finished each day and that the weeks work has been done.  I find that while I do need to take breaks from time to time, the best way to handle all of it is to of it as early as possible in each day.

I am debating with and evening routine that would basically be me doing an evening quick hygiene thing and laying out my stuff for the next day, so things go faster in the morning.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I keep going, I don’t know if this pause in between things constitutes failure or defeat so much as waiting for what is next.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I meditate often on how fidelity is much easier the smaller your circle is. At the same time, more friends is more opportunity.  Something I need to think more about.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Right now, wisdom is a big thought on my mind because I am changing the direction of my life and I want my new path to be a wise one. Adding the virtue means I have to think about what decisions I have upcoming and what the wisest course of action might be.

Right now I have another semester to do.  My degree is finished except for the internship but I had to take a few classes to maintain full-time status to pay for it. Eventually, I will get some of the grant money from the research project  for the internship to offset that but right now taking a few classes that will both pad my resume and keep the student loan people away for a bit. I continue to search for a new job and hopefully something that fits me and my life better will show itself soon.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 3

Everything on here is doable.  The issue mostly is weightlifting and walking because I don’t have a place to do them. I need a new gym for that.  The rest I can do right now and have been.

Nutrition:

My cheat meal count has dropped to three for this week and next. Eventually when I drop to two a week and two carb sources a day, that is where I want my lifestyle to be after this special diet for my birthday is done. In short, I am getting where I want my regular lifestyle habit to be very soon.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – By adding Love this week, I feel there is an overall vision to my virtues in the foundational aspects of my life.  If there is a question now about Courage, Honor and Truth I can ask the question – which action is the most loving?

Business – The same could be said with Justice and the three virtues Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  “What is the most just action?” becomes the question here.

Self –  ‘What is the wisest action’ is the question for my self virtues.  This will guide my questions of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity. Adding wisdom was a good call

In short when considering any decision I have three questions to ask about it.  What is the most loving action? What is the most just action? What is the wisest action?  Knowing which virtue is being used will be helpful with this to know which question applies the most. I like the change and the Higher Virtues are now fully incorporated.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Adding Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Love is an interesting virtue.  I said in the pagan pulpit yesterday that it is a motivating force for many people but it is not the best one. I am not; however, dismissing its value as an overarching consideration in decisions.  It is OK to be motivated by love as long as it is done freely.  Adding the virtue to the foundational virtues is a natural fit.

Honor, Courage and Truth can be seen as virtues that express different aspects of Love. Honor is love of self.  Courage is acting bravely in love of something one considers valuable or sacred.  Truth – well even the Bible says love rejoices in truth to which I would agree.

The problem is defining love.  There are many ways to look at love and languages reflect this difficulty, as almost all languages and cultures have multiple definitions of love and how those words and definitions can be used. Below is a thought I read that I think reflects the problem.

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Rather than having a definition that will restrict my understanding of love, I will leave it open and perhaps the many facets of love can be explored. mostly I want the theme of love to be used to evaluate the other three virtues listed here.  Honor, Courage and Truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I do have a very positive outlook right now about the future.  Right now my wife describes our life as ‘dull’, but I am glad for the simple normality of it.  I do however have a desire for something better in the sense of prosperity and comfort for the both of us, but mostly I am looking at myself and our relationship more positively.  I look to the future a lot more than the past. I see things better and better each day and that is the product of a developing sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is time t put myself back out there with a new direction in mind.  I am back to boarding the viking ship and setting a course.  A new course for my life and who I am.  I embrace this with courage and I am actually a lot happier right now than I have been in a while. It is time to act on that feeling and do so with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I find that I either speak the truth, which is actually quite rare or I say nothing. Perhaps one could say I speak a lot through blogging. This however is well thought out speech and carefully crafted.  Writing is like that.  Mostly though truth is about pursuing what is true and wise. It is not so much that I arrive at truth or wisdom or knowledge but that I am on a journey to discover it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In my Christian Days I cold easily just turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and had a definition of love that was given to me.  My problem with this definition even though I think it does define some aspects of love perfectly, is that it leaves out the physical side of love which in my mind is still important.  There is a reason why we call sex – lovemaking.

Trying to come up with a definition that is more encompassing of all aspects of love is very difficult.  I am not really going to try.

I simply will say at this point that every time I have a sense of honor about myself, that every time I act in courage and that every time I pursue truth that these are acts of love. This little section will chronicle each week what I discover though these actions.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid part of the day every morning.  Meditation is a little off right now because I want to make it more formal but I am still think as to how to do that. It may involve rearranging my office area a little.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I need a systematic plan here.  I am thinking that number 2 and number 6 are the most likely this year. To do these require money for the tattoos to be saved and the novel require regular writing. I could also add as a backup  number 7 Latin as I have the books to do that already. Need to start acting on these.

Mostly though I want to create a collage to put on my wall with representations of all of them.  Something more visual to remind me of them. That may be the first step.

Weightlifting:

I am going to join a gym this week or early next.  I can’t take not lifting anymore so I am just going to do it and make the adjustments as needed.  I have lost well over a month of gains and I need to fix that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!