Marriage

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Budget Plan

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Budgeting is not something new to me.  I have handled things before like this, mostly though I find budgeting tedious and boring, so I find ways to do it that are quicker.  Thankfully computer software these days makes things go much better.  Mostly though the plan for budget is pretty simply from my perspective.

When I was a Christian, I followed Dave Ramsey a lot.  The fact is his basic plan makes a lot of sense simply because it follows tried and true things. I don’t see that I have to change my respect for its wisdom.  We are in debt again and we do need to make more money to combat that but we also need a plan to get back to financial health again. Our plan follows the Dave Ramsey pattern.

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

There is a missing step as I have children but they are all grown up and I pretty much told them what my family told me – ‘you want college education, pay for it yourself.’  Step 5 for us wold be more of buy a small home and pay it off quickly because right now we rent an apartment and probably will continue to rent until we get to a point of being debt free.

After twenty years of being in the ministry I have little to show for it.  I don’t own a home.  I have a lot of debt and some things have had to be cut.  Probably the most devastating right now is health insurance.  We can’t afford it with the payments we have to make on other things and that means both my diabetes and my wife issues will have to be handled out of pocket and nope – we don’t have the money for that either.  Hopefully nothing major happens.

If we have any further need its to start making more money and that is why I accelerated school to be pretty much done except the internship, so I can start marketing my degree for a better job. I would stay where I am but they would need to make me more than a grunt worker at this point and they would also have to make me full-time instead of 32 hours a week. At this point in my life it is about retirement and that means I am about 20 years behind people my same age because of being a pastor all that time in my first career. Yep, it’s a tall order but I don’t just want to survive but thrive.

As an aside if you are thinking of ministry as a career, I recommend going to a secular school for your bachelor’s and get it in something you can make money doing.  Do that for twenty years and get your financial life in order and then go get you Masters in Divinity and be a pastor. Trust me on this, you will thank me for it.

Right now we could be classified as working poor.  Not poor enough to qualify for government handouts, but not rich enough to get ahead.  That needs to change soon and for me that means a better job with more money so we can breathe again.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Achieving greater purposes is a line in the virtue I have been thinking about a lot lately.  When I look at things in my financial future I think others are going to play a role.  What I want is my own business to take into retirement.  I want it to be my retirement.  Not having something to do, I think is the death of a lot of people.  The one’s who live the longest understand discipline and sticking with something.

At this point I have all the plans in place, bucket list, goals and routines.  Now its time to take all these pieces and step back and reform the bigger picture.  I think though I will do a separate post on this under The Rabyd Skald platform probably this afternoon.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Not much to say here other than I keep going and I keep getting up. Right now school needs to have more attention and so I am making my plans to put more effort in and finish.  I may limp over the line but I will finish.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I am a deist, humanist and somewhat of a pagan and so I am loyal to those philosophies. I am truly working on being loyal to myself, my wife and my family.  The Self and marriage is a tougher one to keep in balance because to have a marriage often involves sacrificing what you want at times.  I just don’t want to give up too much loyalty to myself.  I still want what I want and for my sake, I can’t give it all up.  At the same time I want this marriage to work and be better than ever.  I am loyal to my friends, they need only ask and I will do what I can.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Halloween (Samhain)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Every once in a while I make the statement that I am a Pagan or have Pagan tendencies.  I have to confess the main reasons for this are spirituality and  holidays.  I suppose this post is more for educational purposes than it is expression of any beliefs I might have; but I do embrace the idea that a truer understanding in the realm of spirituality might be our hearts reaching out to the world around us, and paganism has that in abundance.

By the next Odin’s Eye we will be past Halloween and so I want to talk about the holiday before it happens.  I must freely confess now that my favorite holiday of the year is actually Halloween.  I never could say that because I was a Christian and minister, but now I can.  I love the whole thing.  The dressing up in costumes, the carving pumpkins, trick or treat, the whole darkness and death of it.  It reminds us all things die and when it comes to the seasons this is particularly true.  In a sense Halloween is the celebration of the end of the harvest season and the end of the year for pagans.

Now Christians tend to make anything Satanic if it doesn’t line up with their beliefs but Halloween and Samhain are hardly Satanic.  The real problem is that Christians also steal a lot from pagans and the fact that All Saints Day is November 1 is no accident because Halloween is the big day for pagans.  It’s about countering it with a Christian holiday. But Christians steal a lot more than that and holidays for Christianity tend to be near to pagan ones and even use pagan symbols but Christianize them.

That said, I like the basic concepts of paganism’s spirituality because it creates a very individualized belief system to the person while at the same time allows community spirit. At the same time, it has aspects of religion that I pretty much as a deist reject.

Faith:

No I don’t really have faith in what is commonly called Wicca or Paganism on that side of the aisle.  When I say I have pagan tendencies, I mean I draw my spirituality from looking at the world around me and my inward self.  This means paganism has many schools of thought and most of them have the same religious nature as the monotheistic faiths.  I have faith in my abilities to advance myself and be in tune with the world around me.  That’s about it, but it lines up with paganism’s basic foundational tenets.

Religion:

Halloween for the Pagan marks the end of the year and starts the new year with the season of Samhain.  The beginning of the long dark period before rebirth and renewal in the spring.  Different pagan groups view this differently but Halloween was a celebration originally and Christians are probably the most guilty of trying to add sinister qualities to it to discredit it.  Mostly though it is a time and day to honor the past and past people. To honor what has gone on before.

Theology:

Theologically speaking as a deist who believes in something; but as an agnostic I don’t know what it is, I think paganism is more honest about looking at what we know for sure and honoring it.  What can we know for sure?  The people who have gone before us that have blazed the path so we are where we are today.  Honoring the dead and their work and sacrifices is something we can truly honor and know we are honoring something that is indeed real.

Spirituality:

I suppose my most spiritual moment this last summer came while standing at the graveside of my father.  Given all that I was going through, I was wondering what he would have said or done at that moment.  I have to admit that it was there at his graveside I began to realize some sense of reality of what I was doing and perhaps honoring my commitments.  Mostly to my wife.  I still struggled after that but that moment left me pondering my life and in the end became the seed of the motivation that caused me to consider reconciliation with my wife.  Perhaps there is far more spiritual truth to the honoring those who have gone before. All religions seem to have elements of this and perhaps it is one of the more valuable contributions of religion in general.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin.  It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace.  Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured.  The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face.  She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face.  He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival.  She knew he would be bringing someone with him.  Someone who was going to  change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate.  She didn’t use often anymore.  Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her.  The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath.  Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words.  Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains.  A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess.  Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach.  She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods.  Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her.  One landed on her forearm.  Huginn.  He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded.  Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn.  In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house.  Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods.  Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying.  Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back.  Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die.  Rest your mind, hansom husband.  Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway.  The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed.  Frigg smiled at the man.  Older but still fit and….well equipped.  Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts.  Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded.  His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband.  I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank.  Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though.  There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever.  But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him.  The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer.  That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted.  Damn.  So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife.  I believe at long last our end has come.  As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back.  Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen.  It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well  No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path.  He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck.  She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her.  He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love.  Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom.  There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can.  After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep.  She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes.  She didn’t know who to weep for more.  The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her.  His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure.  Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow.  But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Bucket List

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

The Routines are finished and I have my principles and goals written down.  This leaves my Bucket List, Weightlifting Plan, Diet and Budgeting plan.  The three plans I will deal with next week, but today is the Bucket List.

For me a bucket list is a list of important side quests. It’s what I am doing to enjoy life.  I have done one before and there were some raised eyebrows about some of them.  The issue for me is not to be the straight arrow I was before as pastor.  I don’t wear a white hat nor do I wear a black one. I just want to live my life and wear a grey hat while doing it.  The Bucket List is the best reflection of this.  It’s not about goals so much as enjoying life as much as possible.

Bucket List

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.  Perhaps as part of one of those River Cruises that go up and down the Danube River. I loved that city but I just didn’t have the time to explore it fully.
  2. Get My Tattoos.  I actually have four planned for myself at this point and a joint tattoo which my wife agreed to get with me. 1) Valknut Based Tattoo on my right hand or forearm.  2) Double Ravens on my right shoulder 3) Double wolves on my left shoulder.  4) Broken Celtic Cross in the center of my back. 5) Joint tattoo with my wife.  She has agreed to something small but in a noticeable place.
  3. Actually get drunk – I am a big dude and do drink but I have never gotten drunk as far as I can tell.  I just don’t know what my limit actually is because I have never arrived there.
  4. Smoke a Joint – this is conditional on my state legalizing MJ in November but I do want to try it once.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  This needs to be my first true hiking experience.
  6. Write My Novel – Needs to be done.  Not just the National Novel Writing Novel that I did finish but a true novel 90-120 thousand words and submitted for publication.
  7. Learn Latin – I actually have Wheellock on my shelf.  The book the workbook and the reader.  I just need to discipline myself to do it.
  8. Learn Hungarian – I would like to go to Budapest and speak the language if possible. Yeah that’s two languages.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs. This is really three in one but hey it works. By the way this is for reps in my current routine.  So last set at least four reps for each on a 4 x 8 which is the minimum reps on the last set without me dropping back.
  10. Start my own business – This is the eventual goal  under my business virtues.  I would like a bar with an attached BBQ place. Another option is a bar, coffee shop, bookstore combo.

The rules of course are once one thing is completely done, to cross it off and add something new if I fall below eight things. I plan on dying with a bucket list in hand still with things on it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines are all in place and now the great challenge is to get things done every day.  Planning phase over basically, now it’s time to make it happen.  The real discipline issue now is school work.  It usually isn’t a problem when I find the personal motivation but this is my last semester and I have a large case of last semester drop off. It is something I fight everyday.

One other thing that dogs me is thinking on the past.  It can really steal my time and I need to be more proactive on stopping that from happening.  It’s hard because I have guilt plus a lot of wounds inflicted to deal with.  Not everything has scared over and some sometimes I still bleed a little.  But I keep going, I just need to find a way past it all and get on with things. Certain thoughts and dreams make that hard is all.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

A thought struck me when I was meditating on this virtue the other day.  It’s not just that you keep getting up, but it’s also how you get up that matters.  Sometimes when you get back up it’s not time to take another hit but heal.  Strategic withdrawal is sometimes necessary.  You can always exercise courage another day.  In large part that is what me and my wife have been doing.  With drawing after our marriage got knocked down and trying to heal it before we go on. It’s working so far.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My loyalty to my wife is high.  I mean what other level should I have given that after cheating on her and telling her that I didn’t love her anymore but the highest; when despite all that she continued to love me and forgave me?  She demonstrated fidelity to me even though I wasn’t being loyal to her.  I don’t get it but she is something special and she is loved and respected by me.

My family, my few friends know I will be there for them. I have been at my current job long enough to develop loyalty to my team that works together.  It’s nice to have coworkers again.  I don’t really have a faith to be loyal to yet. I also am more dedicated to the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness than I am the current crop of leaders that have played games with those rights all my life. Ultimately, I am loyal to my code and my philosophy.  That’s enough for me right now.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Daily Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Geri, Freki, Hugin, Munin... Valknut

Happy Moon’s Day

With my Morning Routine set up, the discussion turns to my Daily Routine.  What is the stuff I do every day?  Well, probably what I would like to see every day at this point.

Daily Routine:

  1. Blogging – the general target is to have three posts cued up in the scheduled list by day’s end and four others in the draft file in various stages of construction.
  2. Reading – 1 hour per day.  Right now this is taken up by school, but eventually I would like this to be free to read what I want.
  3. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed. This is currently on my list because of school.  I think it might stay after school is over because I will be using it for research or for writing things for publication.
  4. Empty In Box – I have a box on my desk that I put stuff in that requires my attention.  The goal is to have it empty at the end of every day.
  5. Financial Transaction input – I try to put all financial transactions for me and my wife in my computer each day.  It doesn’t take long.
  6. Communication / Cuddle Time – I try to do this with my wife every day for at least a half hour. Sometimes our varied schedules make this difficult.  It is actually the number one thing on this list and gets done when there is time.

None of this stuff actually takes very long other than the time limit stuff.  My goal is to have it done each day, so every day I am finished with things and making progress.  That the administration of life is kept up with every single day is the major goal here.

Mostly this is only problematic on days where I have both work and class.  On those days free time is at a premium.  Otherwise I have time to do all of it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

At work and school I guess I feel that inner sense of honor to a point.  People at both places value my contributions and that is good for my self-esteem in that sense.  Most of the challenges to honor come from my dreams and the occasional person I run into who used to greet me warmly but now shuns me.  The people who shun me are easy to deal with – 1) check them off as no longer a friend, and  2) move along treating them as someone I used to know.  Dreams are a bit harder. My recurring dream is me going about my daily business but with people who I used to know yelling at me.  They yell things at me indicating my moral failures and my short comings.  The dreams always end with them turning violent and me being the victim of a death-wound by one of them.  I usually wake up at that point.  If I dwell on this too much my honor level drops a bit.

I am starting to feel more positive about my future.  I applied for graduation this last week so that is in the works. I am feeling better about school in general although I do have some more work to do yet to catch up.  It’s close now to the end and I think I will be a better position for a better job after graduation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

In my dreams the word ‘coward’ comes out of the mouths of some.  I don’t really get that accusation.  I simply have responded at times to what people have done to me by talking about it openly.  The coward would gossip, slander, back bite and back stab.  I don’t do those things.  I either tell people what happened from my perspective or I keep silent. I don’t feel I need to respond directly to people who in my estimation were the first ones to act in cowardice toward me.  Virtue is a two-way street and if the accusation of being a coward came from someone I consider brave, I would give it thought.  As it is, not so much.

I have an evaluation coming up at work.  I need to speak on the future with that company.  My additional problem is I need an internship. This is going to require some courage to explain to my present employer where I stand with them. If I am not going to have a good and productive future with them, then I need to move on when I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty with others is not so great an issue as honesty with myself. I am wrestling with so much these days as far as truth with me that I have a hard time with keeping my foundation stable. These days I prefer silence and peace. If only those voices from my dreams would stop haunting me when I am awake.

I am getting ready to write my last major paper for school – My Political Science Capstone.   I am wrestling with the topic and the thesis statement.  I have permission to use this for my Health Economics Class as well.  I want this paper to reflect what I see as the truth about a health issue.  It has to have sound political science basis, economics and if I can get my international business knowledge into it as well – bonus.  It’s not just about a paper but a final reflection on what I have learned in this degree and applying it to real life. It’s about pursuing truth as well.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Morning Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day –  I actually find this one the most interesting.  We have shrunk it down to Friday which is the spelling of Frigg but we say it Fry which reflects Freya.  

My to do list still has a few things on it.

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Daily Routine
  3. Weekly Routine
  4. Bucket List

I also have some planning to do regarding weightlifting and diet.  So we all know what I will be doing today and next week.

My morning routine is about doing the daily stuff that can be done right away every day and getting myself off to a positive start.  So it involves things that wake me up and get me thinking about the things I need to think about.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I think most of these are self-explanatory.  A few notes:

My meditation is on one of the NNV.  The reason I do this is to ponder it a little more deeply and see if I am understanding the wisdom of it a little more fully.  If there is something noteworthy, I usually write it down.

My Full Body Stretch is an every morning thing and takes about 15 minutes.  I have discovered that as I get older this is helpful in having less joint stiffness and soreness the rest of the day.

My supplements are actually a short list.  I would probably do more supplements but they are expensive and I don’t have the extra money for them right now. Mostly it’s a multivitamin, fish oil for my eyes and a joint supplement.  My medications are diabetic stuff.  No insulin yet thankfully.

Oh, the last one is getting dressed for the day.  The nice thing about having my own place now is the privacy.  It allows me to dress or not dress as I feel.  Like my father, I am comfortable in my own skin as much as I am clothed.  I just don’t see much point in getting dressed until after I take my shower.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I am starting to be harder on myself in the right way.  I can do more and do better.  This is particularly true when it comes to school and my job.  I am definitely learning to be more disciplined in school.  Mostly I am still behind on reading.  Getting these routines more formalized is also helping things a bit in this area so it has been overall a good thing.

I am looking at all things in my life and the Morning routine is not a problem.  It’s the daily stuff I need to be doing better at.  I will talk more on this on Monday.  That’s why if I can put a thing in the morning routine I do it.  It pretty much makes sure it gets done. The Daily routines are often conditional on my daily schedule and that causes problems from time to time.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I have had a recurring nightmare/dream that has caused me some trouble this week.  Mostly,  it involves people I used to know and care for gathering around me and mocking me and what I am trying to do.  I go to work and someone is standing nearby and yelling at me that I am worthless.  It finally culminates in me being surrounded by these people and they pick up rocks and stone me.  Right before I die, I wake up.

I put this under perseverance because dreams and nightmares like this one used to shake me but now I just kind of shrug them off.  They do trigger The Grey a little, and I have to fight through it, but thankfully my wife helps a lot with that.  Knowing she loves me when she could be a part of that crowd is a remarkable and special thing to me.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My issue these days is not loyalty as far as if I am loyal.  My issue is what to be loyal to these days. I am loyal to my wife and family.  I know I have to prove that a lot after what has taken place, but I stand by them.  I work on being loyal to myself.  I am loyal to the friends I still have left.  Those that have turned their back on me – fine.  I let a lot of that go.  Less friends, less hassle.  Apparently their friendship didn’t include loyalty to me when I needed them the most. There are a few who have engaged in outright treachery against me.  Those?  Well, justice demands that if I ever get the chance to get justice, I will take it.  It’s not a vengeance thing, just balancing the scales if the opportunity presents itself.  Fidelity demands it.  I will remain patient and watchful.

It’s the faith thing in the gods/goddesses that is troublesome. I can loyal to the concepts of the NNV and the ideals of deism, humanism and even paganism as I define them.  I am still a seeker in that regard, so its hard to know what to be loyal to other than the principles.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Current Known Goals

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s Day (Woden is another name for Odin)

So, with my decision to let meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) be a true guiding force to my goals and letting go of my notion of roles, what goals do I currently have?

  1. Strengthen Marriage – Given recent events my wife and I are spending time and even a little money to work on our marriage.
  2. Finish my Political Science Degree – I have one semester left and an Internship.  By the end of December I should have graduated with only my internship left.  My degree will be a BS in Political Science with minors in Economics and International Business.
  3. Advance Career – Once I have the degree I need to start a new career.  I am keeping my options open at this point.  It may even involve continuing education.
  4. Monitor and Control Finances – My wife and I being on our own means we now do this together.
  5. Write for my Blog  – 1 post per day average.
  6. Exercise – Weightlifting four times a week plus morning stretching every day.
  7. Follow a Solid Diet Plan – Paleo with intermittent fasting needs to be more and more a part of my life.
  8. Create and work a Bucket List.

My first step to achieving all that is to put things into morning, daily and weekly routines. So what I need is a list of things for the Morning routine, the Daily routine and the Weekly routine.  I need then to start going through these routines.

Part of this is going to be setting up plans too:  Having a budget me and my wife work out together, my weightlifting plan and my diet plan.  In addition, I need that bucket list.

Once school is over, I will be making some decision about continuing my education.  I also want to get back to walking after school.  Right now I am using the rather long walk from where I park to class four days a week for that.  After school is over, I will need a new plan.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

My wife and I have actually achieved some measure of self-reliance at this point.  Food, clothing and shelter plus insurance and two vehicles. It basically allows the both of us to function in this society and we really don’t need any help.  We still get a little, but I am slowly trying to wean us both off of it.

There may be other things as time goes by that require provision.  Our goal is that we first look to ourselves to provide them or perhaps if we can’t, we don’t need them.  There is still a minimalist in me that is rather strong.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

What we are doing now as a couple is trying to be more efficient. That is getting more bang for the buck.  Basically we are budgeting and looking at how to make more money wherever we can.  It really is now about finding work we enjoy and is more lucrative.

In any case even though I am not working where I would ultimately like to be, I still am trying to enjoy work for its own sake. It makes what I am doing go smoother and without that dread most people have when they go to a job.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I actually thought about picking up a hitch hiker the other day.  My heart goes out to wanderers in this world, so it was a draw to me.  But from a hospitality point of view, we can offer much more than a couple of months ago.

I want to still design my living room in this small apartment to handle a small group.  I am introverted but I don’t mind the occasional social gathering I can control.  It might be more cost-effective to serve something basic and tell everyone to bring their own booze.  We will see.

I remain –

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Also Some Writing Notes)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

I write for therapy.  I know I gave three reasons I write yesterday but the fourth reason is personal – it is therapeutic.  When I sit down and start touching keys on this keyboard, things come into focus, they become clearer.  There is meditative aspect to my writing.  The same is true when I get up in the morning and stretch, when I am in the gym lifting weights and more recently I have rediscovered that cuddling with my wife has the same effect.  The calmness and peace are the same.  Perhaps the thoughts in my head are different but I am at peace.

This is good because I still struggle with The Grey. Depression as it is more commonly known.  It takes certain triggers and sometimes I don’t see them coming.  It’s hard for me to recognize some triggers becasue the memory they might be inflaming is something I haven’t thought about for a long time.  Other times I know I am going to have to walk The Grey for a bit becasue of what happens.  I accept certain aspects of it because when some of the triggers I know exist happen, I don’t have a lot of control over them. I walk the Grey willingly and with a lot of courage.

Right now my wife has to deal with a little moodiness from time to time.  I can’t sing her praises enough.  I have done some pretty rotten things to her and yet there she is listening.  I love that about her. I don’t get it, but I thank her for it. There are of course things we are still working on.  Mostly we both don’t want to go back to how the relationship was before.  But you still have to break old habits and create new ones.  Both these things take work.

Some blog notes.  1) I am going to start dropping all posts a 9 AM except on Sunday.  That one will still fall at 10 AM.  I have personal reasons for that.  2) This week is the first week of the schedule being the way it is going to be.  It may change but right now I think it’s going to work based on what I am writing.  3) It should be noted that I try to stay three days ahead.  The reason for this is that I find if I edit a post three times, I find far fewer mistakes.  I simply cue up the post three days ahead of time and look at it every day until it drops.

I hope everyone is enjoying the new blog. I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Selfishness is Good for Everyone

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

NNV 003

“You’re being selfish” is an expression people might hear often when they are trying to do something for themselves.  When I look at the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity though its selfishness with a purpose.  All the virtues have an individual independence flavor to them but these three seem to be more inward focused with outward fruit if you understand me.  The Foundational Virtues are about all things.  The Business Virtues are outward focused with inward benefit but Self Virtues are inward focused with outward benefit.

Being focused on yourself is not necessarily selfish but if even if it is, as Ayn Rand points out in her book The Virtue of Selfishness, being selfish has a lot more benefits to others than you first realize. Those who accuse people of being selfish are often selfish themselves trying to get someone else to do something for them that benefits them.  A person who is self-reliant and focused on self does do one thing for everyone else – he is not a burden to them and their efforts.  By being self-focused, you at least don’t drag others down by being a leach on their prosperity or stealing people’s’ time, efforts or money.  There is a right kind of selfishness and it involves the Nine Noble Virtues and in particular Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.

These are Self Virtues in my mind because there is only one person who can engage them fully – self (aka me).  I am the only one who can be disciplined.  I am the only one who can get back up after every failure.  I am the one who must be faithful.  All these virtues depend on my decisions but the ones that have the most effect by realizing this is these three.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Discipline dots my life personally a lot.  I have my morning routine – get up, stretch, breakfast, pills and supplements, shower, shave, get dressed. I have my daily stuff – write a post, study, read, relax.  I have my marriage stuff – talk and cuddle for at least a half hour a day. Some discipline in my life isn’t every day – I go to work when I am scheduled, I go to class, I hit the gym to lift four days a week,  My diet is a discipline that hits me several times a day.  The point is discipline for me is pretty high and all of it is where I push myself a little further than the time before.  Without this continual being hard on myself and making myself do the right things, I become less.  With it I become more.

If I have a goal here it is to find all aspects of life where I can be disciplined, I do it.  If I ever get into a position of leadership again, discipline for whoever I am leading will be a center piece of my leadership.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

I do this pretty naturally but there are times I want to quit. Everyone has their limits but; in the end, you have to stand back up and keep moving forward.  It’s not how hard you can hit life, it how hard of a hit you can take from life, get back up and keep moving forward.  I am paraphrasing Rocky Balboa, but he is right.

Goal – Keep getting up after every failure or defeat.  It is that easy to say.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Fidelity is a struggle for me.  But not where most people think.  My marriage – yes.  I am working on that.  Family – no, not so much as I am loyal to all my kids, grand kids and my mother.  Faith – that’s a deeper question of who I should be loyal to.  The virtue says I should stay loyal to them, which I agree, I just want to make sure I am loyal to something that is actually there.  Friends – Yep, the one’s I still have left absolutely.  My country – yeah, the country of The Constitution of the United States – yep.  The bastard nation that people in power have created these days – nope.

No, those are not the real struggle: the real problem is staying loyal to myself and what I need and want for myself.  It’s hard with all these other things pulling at you, but it if you don’t handle the stuff you want and need, and guide that by reason and wisdom you are going to burn yourself out to the point you won’t be able to be loyal to others.  I can speak from experience on this one.

You really choose what you are loyal to in the end,  But once you choose, you stick with it unless the other side shows itself disloyal.

Goal – Place my fidelity in things I trust because they have shown to be loyal to me. Yep, I believe fidelity is a response as well as an action.

Summary: 

I plan on part of my life being the good kind of selfish. I plan on disciplining myself to be a better person.  I will keep getting up and I will be loyal to that I have chosen to be loyal to as long as it shows loyalty to me.

The last line actually is pretty true for all the virtues.  I mean there is great discussion about whether one needs to be truthful with someone who has shown themselves to be deceptive.  I don’t think so.  I also don’t think I should have to show hospitality to those who have not shown me hospitality in return. Virtues are only truly valuable if they are freely given and received at the same time. Otherwise those who choose to live outside of virtue and live rather in the realm of dishonor do not have to be honored in return.

Goal List:

  1. Be positive about my future
  2. Act with courage at the right time
  3. Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times
  4. Work to be self-reliant by finishing school and building my career
  5. Work with enjoyment of work itself both in school and my job.
  6. Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.
  7. Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
  8. Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
  9. Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – A Few Blog Notes

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

writing notes 001

I know it seems a little early for writing notes and changes but there is sometimes things you do not discover until a blog actually launches.

  1. I have to actually insert photos on this blog template.  The featured photo actually shows up now in the upper part of the blog as the background.  Makes it hard to reference your featured photo if you can only really partially see it. It actually makes the featured photo aspect of WordPress a little useless on this template.
  2. I looked up blog traffic in the past and I discovered that the time most people read during the week is mostly anytime between 3 and 6 PM.  So I am going to drop my weekday posts at 3 PM from now on.  Weekends people read all over the place depending on the weekend, so I will continue to drop weekend posts at 10 AM.
  3. I need for my family to know that this blog will not be referencing my feelings that much unless they directly affect my goals and objectives.  I also will only reference my marriage to speak positively of it.  The negative stuff and the struggles will only then be referenced if they end in a victory.  Otherwise, the gossips will be disappointed with this blog.  Sorry, I need to write for therapy again but not the way I have done in the past.
  4. This blog will have Pages for the main types of posts to group them together.  Their links should be up at the top of the blog where it currently says ‘Home’ and ‘Contact the Rabyd Skald’.  Pages are a little extra work for me but they do make a good way to organize the main branches of the blog.

Hopefully I can sort out some of the other issues as they come up.  There are always bugs and glitches you need to work on at any new start-up.  Thanks for reading.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!