Education

Odin’s Eye – Bible Problems: General Issues and Introduction

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

Odin’s Eye is about a lot of things but every eight weeks or so one thing it will be about is taking on the Bible.  I fairly sure that my Alma Maters of Trinity Bible College and Asbury Theological Seminary will not be proud of me during these posts, because I will be using knowledge I gained from earning my degrees with them and then turning it against them, but I know I am not alone in this department with either.

The amount of people who go to school to become ministers or Bible scholars and then turn their back on the faith is legion.  In fact, one of the atheist contentions is that the Bible itself is one of the best breeding grounds for atheism or at least non-belief in Christianity is probably true.  When you read the Bible objectively through the eyes of reason; you have to conclude ultimately it is a work of human beings and whether or not the divine has anything to do with its existence is pretty much a matter of opinion and blind faith.

See the source image

I am not an atheist, but I get the contention and it is valid.  In general, the Bible has some very basic problems that in my opinion point not to a divine authorship but a human one where human beings are giving their opinions about how god operates, giving an account where the author believes he (there are no female authors of the Bible) or someone else encountered God or wrote with the intention of ordering society using God as the authority to hush opposition to their plan. The nature of these problems are as follows:

  1. Contradictions – I spent the majority of my time as a Christian scholar and minister trying to explain contradictions in the Bible.  To be fair sometimes a contradiction is not always present where one is said to exist, but there were many that I simply had no answer for.  The bible does on occasion say two things about the same thing  and there is a direct contradiction. Many Christians point to the idea of people taking these things out of context, but I would say I have taken context into consideration several times and still find a contradiction.
  2. Confirmation Bias –  The Writers of Scripture want the God they are describing to exists.  They want to the resurrection to be true, etc. So they never really address questions that a skeptic would ask. Questions that would help their case if they answered them, but because they are not asked or answered, it just shows bias.
  3. Timeline issues – Like it or not some things don’t mess with each other from a timeline perspective. When I was teaching life of Christ, the one area that gave me the most timeline fits was the resurrection itself. The accounts of who and where Christ appears and in what order vary widely.
  4. Historical – despite my Bible college apologetics professor’s assertion that the Bible is grounded in history; much of that is either unproven or there is a historical record, archaeology, etc. that contradicts the Bible.
  5. The Bible doesn’t live up to its own standard of confirmation of fact – the ‘two or three witnesses’ standard does not always hold up with the Bible itself for establishing every fact. Most events in the Bible are stand alone with no other account of them existing in the Bible itself or in the world for that matter.
  6. God contradicts himself or it seems that God cold have done things in a far more simpler way – the moral questions of the Bible’s god are at times overwhelming. This includes everything from the treatment of women to God plain out not following his own standards for ethics and justice.

I could go on and on, but whenever you see and Odin’s Eye with the Subtitle – Bible Problems; know this is where I am going to take the Bible and be very critical of it.  I am not doing this to offend, but to point out how very questionable it is for the Bible to be a special revelation of God, but more a collection of men’s opinions and accounts of the almighty that should raise an eyebrow, not inspire devotion.

Faith:

People ask me then where my faith is when it comes to the Bible.  It’s not the Word of God to me. It might contain some observations that might help me understand the divine as a deist, but it certainly is no longer the divine special revelation I once thought it was. I think the notion of ‘special revelation’ is man-made so people can say something is of God when really it is just a man-made idea.

Religion:

If the bible is not special revelation, then the basis for most of the Abrahamic Religions is non-existent.  In these religions what we see most is them using ‘holy’ scripture to justify their existence and their use of force and religious ‘ethics’ to control the behavior of others.  Sorry there i\s a great deal of truth to the idea all religions are cults and engage in cultish behavior to control and just because it has it has a billion followers doesn’t make this less true.  Once you find yourself in the authoritative position to disperse the ‘proper’ interpretation of the bible, that gives you an incredible position of power over those who blindly believe. Religion thus cannot be trusted because it is very much about power and control most of the time.  It is why I have sworn them all off.

Theology:

Theologically speaking the so-called ‘special revelations’ might have some good theological observations at times, but I can get no confirmation as a deist that they are true and never will.  The real challenge to me in theology now is that I know I will die ignorant of the truth of the divine, but I am OK with that. Ignorance simply is, the question is what to do about it. Sometimes the thing to do; the only thing you can do based on the nature of the questions, is accept being ignorant.

Spirituality:

I would say over the years the Bible has been a tool of spiritual enlightenment.  But so have my weightlifting sessions, my hikes in the woods and my reading of other books.  I can’t say anymore that The Bible is my authority of faith and practice, nor would I say that I consider it a superior form of knowledge over all others.  It is one voice of many and sometimes I think what it says contains the truth and other times I think what it says is bullshit.  But that is true of pretty much everything I read so…

Conclusion:

My Bible; that I preached from not so long ago, sits on my shelf. I don’t think I have opened since that last Sunday.  It sits currently between The Armchair Economist and The Picture of Dorian Grey.  I suppose the irony of that, and the fact my last sermon was on adultery while I was engaged in an affair, will sit with me forever. I also have no intention of allowing it to be master over me anymore.  Where I walk, I take steps on my own and quite frankly I think my life is better for it. The Bible for me now is a collection of works that sometimes inspires wisdom and other times makes my eyebrow raise. But mostly it is just another book to me now as journey onward.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Redefining the IN BOX

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

As I continue to tweak my routines, I run into a couple of issues here in the Business Virtues. The most notable one is under my daily routine which says – Empty in box.  This I feel bears a more specific definition. Up until now it has been about emptying a physical in box on my desk where I put in various items that are business related.  I also use this time to check my email once a day and make a note if I have to check it again later.

I want to broaden this out to include the fact that I usually have a short to do list every day involving either school, business errands and possible job search opportunities. Basically what I have is a to do list that fist the nature of the in box.  So I am going to change the line to “Clear In Box / To Do List”.  Hopefully by creating a to do list which can have no more that five items plus the in box clearing and emails, this will be enough definition to make sure these things get done every day.

The Job search itself is a bit of struggle right now and mostly that is my fault for not being a little more specific as to where I want to go as far as career direction.  I have written on this before and defined the possible four paths as: professor, business, lawyer and writer.  The idea at present is to make choices about a job and further education that keeps those options open.

I think the best way to approach this is to find a good job in something I can be more prosperous in and then do an online masters degree of some sort while I am doing that. The goal being to build my career by working and education. While this is going on, I need to keep writing, both the blogging and other writing for publication.

Seems like a tall order but it all starts with a better job fairly soon while continuing to write. Graduate school decisions can wait until this semester is over and my internship finished. If I am leaning to drop something off my list it is the lawyer.  Sorry I just don’t see myself as an attorney, but it is an option because of my Political Science degree.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I have said already the issue now is not self-reliance being achieved but being maintained.  This is gong to require much more income than we have now.  The first step is finding a better job and finishing school completely.  My internship is getting lined up and my last few classes are all online and will pad my resume a little.  My job search is started as well.  It’s just a matter of being patient at this time and seeing what opportunities present themselves.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I want to find a direction that I can enjoy working in.  I enjoy working when I do it and I am always looking for ways to be more efficient. The real challenge now is career direction.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I have been able to help a few people in the last month.  Nothing big and certainly not with gifts of money but helping nonetheless.  I feel better about this kind of hospitality than any other ting I have done as it is motivated by purely virtue and a choice to help.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

What is the right thing to do?  It is a simple question but it is a necessary one I ask at every decision point involving others.  Getting back to the IN BOX/TO DO LIST, it means when I look at these items of business and school, I need to make the best decisions for everyone involved.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently three a day.

With school starting back up #3 has that quality of doing school work for the day (this would include the internship) until everything is done that needs to be done.  I am hoping that this will clear mostly early every week so I have little left at the end of the week as I do have a couple of books coming that I want to read for enjoyment.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#3 is becoming a bit of a problem, mostly I think it’s because I am being too picky but I do have the fact that I am still in school and I want something that makes more money than I currently making.  I also know my value and I think my previous experience counts for something more than entry-level.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Still working # 1 but it is getting closer.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Adding Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Knowledge might tell you it is raining, wisdom tells you to take out an umbrella or find cover, etc. Wisdom is hard to completely define as well but its actions are clear.  When one finds themselves at a fork in the road of life, wisdom tells you what branch to take that is going to be the best.

Adding Wisdom is to the self Virtues is a natural fit, as wisdom ultimately affects us personally the most.  Discipline is about being wise of looking ahead so greater and greater purposes can be achieved.  Wisdom says to keep going despite failure and defeat because to stop is to die and no longer be truly alive. Fidelity is the wisdom of keeping your relationships strong, and being loyal to those who are loyal to you makes you stronger.

For me, this image of standing a crossroads happens often in life; it is what it means to be The Grey Wayfarer for me.  Wisdom is the process of assessing which path is best.  Wisdom guides the decision and thus becomes a very important higher virtue.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The real trick right now is to make sure routines are finished each day and that the weeks work has been done.  I find that while I do need to take breaks from time to time, the best way to handle all of it is to of it as early as possible in each day.

I am debating with and evening routine that would basically be me doing an evening quick hygiene thing and laying out my stuff for the next day, so things go faster in the morning.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I keep going, I don’t know if this pause in between things constitutes failure or defeat so much as waiting for what is next.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I meditate often on how fidelity is much easier the smaller your circle is. At the same time, more friends is more opportunity.  Something I need to think more about.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Right now, wisdom is a big thought on my mind because I am changing the direction of my life and I want my new path to be a wise one. Adding the virtue means I have to think about what decisions I have upcoming and what the wisest course of action might be.

Right now I have another semester to do.  My degree is finished except for the internship but I had to take a few classes to maintain full-time status to pay for it. Eventually, I will get some of the grant money from the research project  for the internship to offset that but right now taking a few classes that will both pad my resume and keep the student loan people away for a bit. I continue to search for a new job and hopefully something that fits me and my life better will show itself soon.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 3

Everything on here is doable.  The issue mostly is weightlifting and walking because I don’t have a place to do them. I need a new gym for that.  The rest I can do right now and have been.

Nutrition:

My cheat meal count has dropped to three for this week and next. Eventually when I drop to two a week and two carb sources a day, that is where I want my lifestyle to be after this special diet for my birthday is done. In short, I am getting where I want my regular lifestyle habit to be very soon.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – By adding Love this week, I feel there is an overall vision to my virtues in the foundational aspects of my life.  If there is a question now about Courage, Honor and Truth I can ask the question – which action is the most loving?

Business – The same could be said with Justice and the three virtues Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  “What is the most just action?” becomes the question here.

Self –  ‘What is the wisest action’ is the question for my self virtues.  This will guide my questions of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity. Adding wisdom was a good call

In short when considering any decision I have three questions to ask about it.  What is the most loving action? What is the most just action? What is the wisest action?  Knowing which virtue is being used will be helpful with this to know which question applies the most. I like the change and the Higher Virtues are now fully incorporated.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Incorporating the Higher Virtues.

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

After some thought on it, I have decided that the ‘higher virtues’ of Love, Justice and Wisdom should be incorporated into my journaling.  I will start this next week.  Love will become the higher virtue under Foundation Virtues; Justice will be the higher virtue under Business and Wisdom will be the higher virtue under Self. Mainly these higher virtues provide the bigger picture when it comes to virtue.

I am not going to define these until I get to each journal post that first incorporates them.  Mostly I need to come up with the definitions and that’s going to require some meditation time.

Mostly though Love becomes expressed to me in the virtues of Honor, Courage and Truth.  Justice is Expressed in Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  Wisdom is found in Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity. I will discuss this more as I go through the journal posts the next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I am actually on the cusp of having to engage my life with more discipline. I have an internship to do but in order to pay for it as far as the university was concerned I had to maintain full-time student status which meant three more online classes on top of that.  This is going to mean regular discipline this time as I may switch jobs in this time and I also have to be careful because they are online and it is easy to forget them.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

This week has been a tough one regarding The Grey.  Part of it is being with the family and given this past year that has not always been pleasant. My wife’s family in particular was a mixed bag of those who treated me like nothing ever happened and others who completely ignored me. My son being up meant discussing my life as it stands with him, some thing I miss doing because he was always a good wise balance when I could talk to him.  So now, I feel like it is cold and rainy emotionally as part of the aftermath, but I keep walking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It’s been a good week for my wife and I.  We got to be with our family; just us, my mother, our kids and grand kids. It was a good week in that regard.  Despite the almost split of it; our family still stands.  That’s a good thing no matter how you look at it.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 4

Treating writing like a job is the thing here as I make it a four-day a week part-time job where I don’t get paid. At least for now. My cheat meal count changes next week to three.

Nutrition:

Right now nutrition is  very important as I don’t know when I will be part of gym again. I don’t want to lose what I have gained and nutrition is key to that. Cheat meals will drop to three for the next couple of weeks and carb sources a day drop to three as well.  This is where I want to live after this special diet is over to get ready for my fiftieth birthday pictures.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I think adding the idea of love over the virtues of honor, courage and truth is just what I needed to give the picture of what I am trying to do here a little more clarity. That is true of the Business and Self-Virtues as well but it is particularly true here I think.

Business – I have a good feelings going into the next week as I begin school with my internship, try to find a better job and basically improve my prosperity.  I am heading into it with a very positive attitude.

Self –  Good week here as far as fidelity and perseverance.  Struggle a little with discipline because so many changes are taking place so I am adjusting more than anything.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Establishing a Pattern

/ Ed Raby Sr / 3 Comments

Happy Thor’s Day

I have a similar problem to the one I had in Of Wolves and Ravens in that I need to establish a pattern of posts for Odin’s Eye as well.  I have addressed my four main theological objections to Christianity and probably very soon they will have their own page so people can interact with them in a much more focused manner.  I walk along waiting for people to offer answers to my honest objections and this platform will be for that too as beyond my main four I have many other objections toward Christianity and the Bible being the ‘Word of God’.  Seems like a good discussion topic list for Odin’s Eye.

I will continue to discuss things regarding where I am spiritually. I will continue to discuss Deism, Humanism and Paganism here on Odin’s Eye. I also want to offer up a continuing critique of Christianity, the Bible and other religions.  Plus a general criticism of religion in general can be expected.  Part of my reason for this is to help refine what I am trying to discover, by eliminating what I think is false. So perhaps, the following pattern is good for starters:

Week 1 – Deism

Week 2 – Bible Problems

Week 3 – Humanism

Week 4 – Christianity Problems

Week 5 – Paganism

Week 6 – Religion Problems

Week 7 – The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side

Week 8 – My Theological Objections to Christianity revisited.

It should be noted as well that for pagan holidays on the calendar I will interrupt this series and write about them.  I am going at pagan holidays from the Norse Viking point of view. The next one is on February 2nd and is called Disting.

What I want to make abundantly clear is this.  Like when I was a Christina theologian, I will always respect a counter argument.  I am not trying to be offensive in my criticism, merely asking a lot of honest questions that need answers, and if you think you have one as a reader, don’t hesitate to give them.  My interest here is not to bash people but to give reason to faith if it can be found.  If not that element of faith is just that – blind trust with no evidence.

I also will remind people at this point that I have degrees in Biblical and Theological Studies.  I don’t mind questions about whether I have considered something, but I do object to assumptions of ignorance.  I guess the problem a lot of Christian and former Christian friends have or might have is this simple point, that I am not just a normal Christian who left his faith.  I used to be a pastor and preacher. I am still knowledgeable about the bible and theology that Christianity employs.

I also have no tolerance for name calling, so if you want to get banned that’s a good way to do it. I work hard to not do it myself, so I expect the same courtesy in return.

I am on an honest search for spiritual truth if it can be found. If you can make me consider something that might lead me to that, I will welcome you with open arms. That would include returning to Christianity, if it could be proven past my theological objections.  My purpose is not to tear down, but to refine and discover. If you enjoy the walk with me as a reader and learn something? Bonus.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Post Holiday Re-Focus

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

With the holidays over, time to get back to the normal pursuit of self-improvement. As I look back I find Yuletide a really enjoyable holiday time both from a personal and family perspective.   I am also glad it is over because much of what I am trying to pursue requires routine and consistency and it is very difficult to be consistent during the holidays.

Right now from a Business point of view i need to polish up my resume and start sending it out to prospective employers.  Graduation should have opened up some opportunities for me.  I have my internship to do and maybe three other online classes so I can maintain full-time status but for the most part its time to put my education to work finding a better job. One that I both can enjoy and is more beneficial to me.

My motivation right now is to improve my life situation not just for me but for my wife as well  the ministry left us both broke and without much in the way of insurance or a financial future. Time to change that. Time to get back to the plan and re-focus on my goals and routines.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Things can be shaky at times for us.  We kind of skate a very delicate financial situation. But that said, we feed. cloth and house ourselves.  Our vehicles still run.  We both have jobs.  This is basic self-reliance but I seek for ti to be a more sure thing and more stable.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

The time has come for a job search again. School is going to start again with internship and some classes that should be good resume padding. I enjoy this time right now and it is exciting but terrifying  in other ways. I just want to find a place in this world where i can enjoy my life and work again.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Getting there.  I am ready to help in what ways I can.  I just don’t bankrupt myself to do it anymore. That’s why I want more prosperity for myself, so I actually have more to give.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Empty In Box
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently four a day.

I moved writing form a daily routine item to a weekly routine item.  Mostly this allows me to tailor four days a week where I can set aside some time to write outside the blog. Probably days off from work and other days where I know I will have time.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Time to work on some of these mostly #2 and especially #3.  Number #6 is also on my mind but things are financially tight to joining a gym right now might be a luxury I can’t afford. Finding a better paying job will have greater implications than just more money but more opportunity.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

I think the real reason we are following this is because both of us can agree to it. It will work we just need to up the income side of things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer (Part 4) – Resolution? (And a Few Notes About Writing Plans)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day.  It is Day 3 of Yuletide. This night is sacred to Mani the god of the moon who determines its course each night and determines its phases.  The Night is also sacred to the concept of darkness. This night honors the beginning of the return of the sun.  This is where the yule log tradition is; where hunters light one and jump its flames for luck in the coming year.  It is also a day to remember and honor the virtue of Courage. 

The Grey and the Wayfarer:

It’s been a while since I have written about my depression battle and perhaps it is because this seems to be such a normal thing to me right now and in fact The Grey has been strong, but I have kept walking through it and made it to the other side. I won’t say my problem with depression is resolved as in ended so much as it has been easier to resolve to walk through it.

In large part I have had some struggle this semester in school because of it but I look back and realize that I walked through it and made it and in the process did some good work in school.  Some of it was crap because of the drain of energy The Grey can have at times; but other parts of it were good. I mean I did really well in my international business class and my economics class. I enjoyed both of them which was something that was good.

I have love-hate relationship with my depression.  I love the times where I am coming out of it and there is a burst of creativity and clarity I simply cannot explain.  It’s the fucking valleys that suck that you have to walk through to get to those moments.

Today is about writing as much as depression, as I use writing as a way to fight it.  I find that I can artificially pull myself out of depression by writing.  It’s kind of tool at times to force me to shift from the valley to the mountain. This blog has been an instrument of that several times since its creation.  Well, with time off from school and just having work to go to, I have been thinking about some changes to The Grey Wayfarer’s writing schedule.

Writing Notes: 

Most of the stuff that is scheduled will stay the same: Sun’s Day: The Pagan Pulpit, Moon’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues, Tyr’s Day: Of Wolves and Ravens, Wooden’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues, Thor’s Day: Odin’s Eye, Frigg and Freya’s Day: A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues.

The problem of course is Saturn’s Day which has been Rogue Wizard and The Grey Wayfarer sharing space.  Sometimes not doing either and doing one of these The Rabyd Skald posts in its place like today has happened too.  I have the additional problem of now that school is over of wanting to write more on the fiction side of the ball.  Not just for the blog either but on the side in that I would actually get my novel done by the end of June.

Now I have done more than just the fantasy type stuff of The Grey Wayfarer serial and the urban fantasy stuff of Rogue Wizard. I have done science fiction and I would like to even do some fiction of a more normal nature.  My mom is a fan of mysteries and thrillers are often enjoyable.  My thing for the blog might be simply Short Stories of various types. I reluctantly admit that doing a poem and commenting on it might be viable as well. My point I that I have a lot of ideas running in my head and I am thinking of how to create  platform to present them.

I just don’t know if my fiction should be confined to a single day anymore and Saturn’s Day should instead be another regular feature.  I want to give that some thought but right now I am leaning toward a weekly discussion of Norse Mythology.  The fiction however might one of those things where I write them in a pattern and when one is finished, it gets posted the as a second post for the day.  What I may simply do is set aside say an hour to a half hour where I just write the fictional stuff each day and when one gets finished to my satisfaction, I will post it.

For you the reader this could be difficult, I mean it means taking what you get and waiting for your favorite to come about which is why using an established order will be employed to make sure I don’t get stuck on one thing. I will tentatively guarantee two of these a week as well. At first I will just do the two fictional series I have been doing and I will announce when something is added.  Just know that there are some changes coming and hopefully they will be good ones.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

 

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Final Resolve

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It’s also the second night of Yuletide.  The Night of the Wild Hunt sacred to Odin and ancestors. We remind ourselves of how important hearth and home is as it is the only thing that can protect someone from The Hunt. The Hunt that begins on Samhain and continues to the end of the year with Oath Night sweeping everything before it. We remember Perseverance as one of the Nine Noble Virtues. Today is also the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. It only gets brighter from here. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose it has been an interesting week.  Trying to get some things finalized for school, going to work and working in retail at this time of year is pretty interesting.  I also have been using the new free time just to relax a little.  I now have some time to play a little Skyrim and watch Harry Potter movies.

I am also motivated with a new resolve to find a new career path.  My friend has an interesting term for some jobs = a ‘Joe Job’.  I know what he means as Joe Jobs are the kind of job where you put in your hours to make money but you are never going to get ahead with such jobs – just survive. I want to do more than survive. I also want to enjoy what I am doing.  I have found an enjoyment to just working itself but I want to find a job I enjoy as well.

That said, I am enjoying the downtime from school and I feel more relaxed and in a better frame of mind. I am in a tension of sorts of wanting this time of rest to last but also getting tired of where I am in some respects now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The only issue of discipline right now is the study/reading time which I ma basically having trouble in figuring out what I want to do. Probably should have been a little more proactive here.  The other areas are Walking and Weightlifting which basically I have no place to do right now.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I made it.  I finished school and I am now looking for a new career.  I wanted to be at this point in am much different way that I arrived but I got here nonetheless.  The different path was interesting and full of some unique joys and perils.  But to stand here at a point I aimed at and having arrived…yeah I feel good.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I still struggle with what exactly to be loyal to as far as faith. That said my principles are starting to harden into a good philosophy to live by and I am enjoying that process. I spend time with my wife whenever I can to keep our relationship strong.  I love my family and I am starting to love myself again. I have a small (very small) circle of friends that I am very loyal to.  At work some people have shown their support of me and I support them in kind.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Cleaning yes,  Weightlifting and Walking are problematic because I don’t have a place to do them right now. I also have to admit that I haven’t been looking hard yet.  Mostly this is a financial concern,

Nutrition:

Next week will be the first time my diet tightens so that I am allowed four carb sources and day and four cheat meals a week.  Timing is probably spot on as this kind of vigilance is needed during the holidays.  Just a nudge right now so that is good.  With no place to lift or walk right now, nutrition is very important to maintain where I am.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – It was a good week for honor, courage and truth.  I enjoy the fact that all I have left is my internship and that I am moving forward with my life.

Business – Opportunities are now open pt me and I have been made aware of some of them, sifting through these to try to find the one that will be a joy to me and allow me to have the hugest level of self-reliance, industriousness and hospitality is now the task before me.

Self – The real issue to me right now I that I miss weightlifting.  It’s just joining a gym has two problems right now.  1) Until I get past Yuletide, Money is going to be tight. 2) I don’t know where I will be working ultimately so I don’t want a long-term commitment until I do know.  Discipline is solid but could be better, but I have to say graduation has been a symbol of Perseverance fulfilled and Fidelity is solid.  Looking forward to seeing all my folk together in one place.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Looking for a New Path

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

For a week or so the A Skald’s Life posts will be a reexamination of each element and later consideration of new elements to be added.  Most of this is trying to create routines that enable me to get things done and get them done quickly.

I have basically been relaxing when I haven’t been at work.  Just letting the mind, heart and body take a break.  I was going to join a gym but financially this is a little difficult at Christmas time.  Hopefully soon.  In any case, I am just calmly meditating on what is next while not being in a hurry to find out.

Mostly right now I just want to enjoy Yuletide, update my resume and start sending it out and enjoy some time with my family.  I have to set up my internship and some other details but it looks like things are going well.

As I look at changes to things in journals, goals, routines, etc. I want to be sure that those changes are good ones.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

My new path must be a path that leads to self-reliance in the sense I want it to be able to provide all our needs and be a path to prosperity.  I don’t want something that allows me to just get by, I want more than enough and the means to make that true until I die.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I am learning to enjoy work.  I like to look back at the end of the day and say: “I did this and it was progress or positive”  What I am looking for now is work I enjoy as well. I don’t know what that is going to be, but I am excited for the search.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I have a living room that has a sectional couch in it now and it speaks a little of our progress.  It is a lot nicer that folding chairs. I always leave my heart open to help.  I guess that is one thing that hasn’t changed.  Despite my best efforts to be a hard ass, I still find myself reaching out with compassion to people.  If there is a change, it is I don’t spend so much of my energy to help so that I am drained to help myself.  There is a balance here right now that I like. I can’t save the world, but perhaps maybe a person here and there would be OK.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – 1 hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Empty In Box
  5. Financial Transaction Input

I took the Reading and the Study time and combined it into one thing. I just wanted some flexibility here and to be realistic in that I might have more school in the future. Basically it is mandatory to spend an hour reading or studying something every day.  When in school, the thing is to do that minimum or as much as is needed that day more or less.  If less, then I still need to fill the hour.  This just makes the bookkeeping easier and what I can do more flexible.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Seeing I did graduate, I have changed # 2 to reflect getting the last details of the degree finished so I will come in the mail. That will probably be sometime in June but most of it is done. I can say though goals achieved so far: 1.  I think I will keep a running count, just for motivational purposes.  I want to take a closer look at this list specifically next week at this same time so, I will leave it for now.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Still step one, but I feel things will get better in the coming year. I really want to be in step 2 by the end of the 2019. If I have a desired timeline it would be to start working on step 3 in a few years.  Like the start of 2022

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Needed Rest

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

A I look back at the now finished last semester, I can see the really problem is that summer was not restful so I went into the new semester tired and then had to move to a new home, keep working a new job and get off to a fast start at school and that just didn’t happen because m rest from the summer was just not sufficient and as I walked the platform Saturday, one thought I possessed was exhausted I felt. How I was looking so forward to just coming home from work and just resting. At least for a little while. It was a moment of triumph to be sure, but it was an exhausted one.

Mostly I just need a week or two to catch my breath.  I want to update and polish my resume, figure out the details of my internship and then just live my life. My eldest son posted on Facebook about my graduation and when I read it I did tear up a little:

Sucks that I wasn’t able to be there, but want to congratulate my dad Ed Raby on earning his degree from Ferris. A while back I can remember encouraging him to do this…so this is awesome to see. He is a hard worker who has spent years caring and teaching others without much appreciation. Glad he was able to do something that he wanted to do at this age for himself. On the path to doing something more self-fulfilling! Congrats Dad! Love you! 

You know sometimes I would wonder if I did a good job as a dad, and then one of my kids will do something like this and make it seem worthwhile.  He is right. I have been doing a lot for others most of my life while my life went on hold.  I was like never getting a rest and now I see that this made me vulnerable.  Too Vulnerable. I need to focus on me, my wife, my family and whatever the future holds for me.  But right now I hope the future holds the simple ability to catch my breath and enjoy the moment.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Graduation brought me a much needed feeling of honor.  I felt positive about me and my future and that was good, very good. As I left the stage, two faculty made it a point to stop me and congratulate me.  My advisor and Dr. Grey.  Two men who I have very high appreciation for.  One helped me at every turn in this journey so I kept moving forward and the other, just became kind of inspiration from a professor point of view. I will never forget the only class I had with him – Introduction to Ethics. It was where I began to realize that faith was inadequate for ethics and morals.  You have to have that within you or nothing else matters. Honor comes from within.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have many acts of courage to yet perform in the future.  Right now a rest will give me the time to think about them and what I need to do when the time comes.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I keep silent a lot these days, if you read the above you know why.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I moved my meditation on the virtues to number two.  I have actually been doing this for a while now.  Just thought I would make it official.  The morning routine is the most consistent thing of my day and it helps me get going and focus.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I think a tattoo is on the horizon. I gift to myself for graduating. Other than that I am thinking of starting to write my novel.  Recreational use of MJ is legal in Michigan so…we will see.

Weightlifting:

Today I will be signing up at a new gym and getting the first workout in about two weeks. I really need to have this return to my life. I miss the focus and meditation of it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!