The Grey Mage – Episode 1 – The Current State of Affairs

AI Image

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day!

The Grey Mage’s Journal – June 18, 2025

It’s been a while since I have written in my journal, but I feel that things are getting interesting, to say the least. So, it may be time to start chronicling my life experiences again for the sake of posterity. But perhaps an update is in order, as my last entry was on the last day of 2019, between COVID and a few other things that have happened in my life, my life is very different from it was those many years ago.

The magical world, in North America at least, has had an uneasy peace between the creatures of Magic and the Mages. But there are still some who long for the good ole days when creatures were slaves of the mages and the noble mage houses ruled things, but it seems changes are becoming more permanent. Most of the Houses still survive, but all of them have lost some of their political pull. This is because the Council has Magical creatures on it now, and that definitely doesn’t sit well with many of the old guard.

This has led to some changes, such as the Death Angels (The Old Council’s Necromantic hit squad) being disbanded. Necromancy is truly outlawed, so even the Council cannot violate this without penalty. Under Pressure from the magical world, the council began to be more inclusive in who could be on it.

Over time, the makeup of the council has changed so that things are a little more balanced. Over the last six years, there are less mages and more magical creature types. The council still has nine members, and now North America and Europe are divided into nine districts from which anyone can be elected. Hell, I could run and have been asked to do so. I, however, have no desire to do so. Right now, there are four mages on the council, only three of whom belong to noble houses. The Houses of Mars, Venus, and Saturn have seats on the council. The fourth mage is an ‘unaffiliated’ mage like myself. The Fae have two of their dryad queens on the council. Add in a Centaur and an Ogre, and it is pretty balanced at that point.

The final member, and most recent member, was a half-elf girl of previous acquaintance by the name of Raven. A woman I had the ‘privilege’ of meeting in my apartment many years ago. She is a bridge in more ways than one. Mostly, she is both fae and human, being half-elf. She was also elected unanimously as the Chairperson. This move kind of shocked everyone, but it made sense, and she has, over the last few months, handled things quite well.

But this political move actually had consequences for me personally. One month after taking her seat as the Chair of the New Council, I opened the door and found her standing on the doorstep of my cabin in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. (I had moved after the war was over from the one I had in Wisconsin back to my home state.) She smiled that beautiful half-elven smile and asked to come in. Unlike last time, she wasn’t alone. She was flanked by two other figures I also knew from the past – Grumm the Troll and Alex, a mage from House Saturn. They both were in much more formal attire, and both of them looked at me with a frightened respect. I had after all kicked their asses when we fought last time. Grumm, for his part, shook my hand and said there were no hard feelings from me burning him all those years ago, and Alex simply brooded over Raven’s shoulder.

Raven, for her part, was still the diminutive half-elf with the sex appeal of a Playboy Playmate. But now she wore a sports suit with a knee-length skirt. Much more professional. The goth mercenary look was gone.

“If this meeting goes well, perhaps I can call you ‘Edward’?”

“That would require that we move our relationship to the more intimate level.”

“We will see.”

I laughed as I thought this was a joke, but I was to find out how wrong I was.

AI Generated Image

We sat down and talked for a bit. In summary, she sought my assistance in addressing various situations that might require my services. In short, a troubleshooter. I objected because I was basically retired at this point and trying to keep a low profile. I still had many enemies. But I had also parlayed my magical expertise into a decent income as a consultant and researcher of magical things. I worked from home and earned a good income. What could possibly pull me away from this very peaceful life?

Raven offered me more money, but I think she knew I didn’t care. Then she offered me something I didn’t expect to appeal to me, but it did. She appealed to my sense of justice. Many of my enemies were still involved in various questionable activities and engaged in revolutionary activities to bring back the ‘good ole days.’ In short, I would be making my enemy list shorter while at the same time doing some good in the world. Plus I would be brining some justice for some because some of these scum were on the run from the magical law.

Then she pointed out the main reason she wanted me. I was the only known battle mage, and she felt the Council could use that kind of help with this problem. I balked at the thought of working for the Council; I had spent the majority of my life on the run from them. I told Raven that I wouldn’t be their puppet no matter how much they had changed. She said, I wouldn’t be working for them, but for her directly. Each councilperson has the right to enlist individuals to help them of their choosing. She had basically kept Grumm and Alex on as her bodyguards that way. But she didn’t want me to work for her, but with her.

In short, she was offering a partnership. Her, with her political connections and intelligence sources, and I, as investigator and battlemage when raw power was required. I could also enlist help if I needed it. My concerns still remained, but she assured me this Council was different than the others. It literally had only one member who was from the old days, and that person was someone who supported the revolution.

I then switched my thoughts to the nature of the job. What was I investigating, and who was involved? It was this point that I was sold. The old guard was up to some pretty nasty things. Fae slavery trafficking, Necromancy, illegal research, etc. The Fae slave trafficking caught my attention as I had an intimate relationship with one that had begun in childhood and continued up to the present day. I didn’t know right now what Lunnette was up to, but the last thing I would ever want for her would be to be enslaved to some mage as their magical boosting whore. Necromancy made sense as the dismissed Death Angels would be a problem there now that the legal caps are off for them. Illegal practice, but what do you care if you basically think the new Council doesn’t have any power over you?

SO I accepted the partnership with the condition that I could dissolve it at any time. Raven agreed, and then things got a little interesting. She dismissed Grumm and Alex, telling them to form a perimeter around the cabin. She wanted to speak to me alone. Once we were alone, I saw her mumble a spell, and my guard went up. But then I recognized what it was – a privacy spell. She was making sure whatever happened next was going to be known only to me and her.

“Sorry, I should have warned you about that.”

“No Problem. Apparently, there is something you want just between us?”

She then went on to explain that she genuinely wanted this partnership to work. Because it was more dire than she was letting on. The problem was that she felt that the whole of these activities were connected in some way. Some single effort to bring things back to the way things were. She wanted me out there doing something about it and figuring it out. She was interested in me as a battlemage to be sure, but she also wanted my better-than-average skill in divination and my experience being behind enemy lines.

“I also want you to absolutely trust me.”

“Not likely.”

She nodded, then added

“Have you ever heard of the elven ritual of ‘Estel Núte?”

“Trust Bond, as I recall in English”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“Not much is known about it outside the Elven community. It is supposed to be something like sealing a contract, only much more sacred.”

“Yes, it is. I would like to perform this ritual with you to bond us together regarding this partnership of ours. Make it more of a sacred act between us. It has one actual magical effect – Enchantment magic will not work between us. I can’t enchant you, and you can’t enchant me.”

I thought on this for a bit and asked Raven for a moment. Raven was basically saying that she wanted to nullify her main form of magic toward me. I didn’t know what other magical schools she had skill in, but this would be a huge thing for her, and I was starting to see why it would mean so much to the elves. Enchanters are roughly 80% of their spell casters, and that would mean that between two of them doing this ritual, it would form a lot of trust. Magical manipulation becomes very difficult. In this case, Raven would be voluntarily giving up a lot of her options regarding trying to magically charm me. I, on the other hand, whose basic skill in Enchanting is almost non-existent, wasn’t giving up much. So she was desperate to have my aid.

“Seems one-sided. What does the ritual itself involve?”

“Ritual spell that involves shared blood and coitus”

She tried to say that like she was delivering a technical lecture, but some emotional excitement slipped through at the end.

“So we do the spell, exchange blood and fuck?”

She laughed, “Yes, that is in a very vulgar way of putting it, but technically correct. That’s why I said – I might be able to call you ‘Edward’ at last.”

I groaned inside. The problem was I hadn’t actually had sex in about six months. I missed it terribly both as a man and a mage. Lunette, Amber, and I had formed a Trois relationship during the war, and it has lasted quite a while into the peace period. The Trois was technically still a thing, but I hadn’t seen Lunette in well over a year or Amber in six months. We kept in touch minimally, and they had been gone for a while. But I knew for sure that if we got together again and were within walking distance of a bed, there would be passion of a physical kind.

Lunnette was feeling itchy feet, as many Pixies do, to be off and doing something exciting. She loved me and I her, but I could tell something was bothering her, and it was that she needed to get back out there. I could tell she was getting sexually bored as well. Pixies have the sexual morality of a goat and long for new experiences. There is just no way for any human to sexually satisfy a Pixie, even if that human is a mage.

I think the Trois lasted as long as it did because both Amber and I are mages, and our auras were an aphrodisiac that could not be equaled by a pixie. She was both in love with us and addicted to our auras. It kept her excited for a long time, but then it suddenly didn’t, at least not as much. Then she got offered a job with one of the Fae Queens in a Grove in Montana, and said she was going to take it. We made love that last night, cried a lot, then she packed and, after a goodbye kiss with both Amber and me, she walked out.

Amber and I tried to make a go of things as a couple, but it was problematic. I am 25 years her senior, and this made for interesting gossip in the local town. I will never understand how society has so many double standards. If I had been a fifty-something woman and she a twenty-something man, it would be: ‘You go, girl.” But the opposite, and somehow she is being manipulated into the relationship, and I am a creeper. It put a little social pressure on us in that very conservative part of the country.

But the point was that Amber and I had always been a thing in the context of the Trois. Lunnette is the one who had invited her into the whole thing. As a couple, we found out how much Lunnette had been the glue that held us together. It is not that we fought or anything. It just wasn’t the same. The nights still had passion, but they lacked something. One morning, I woke up and Amber was gone. She left a note on the table about how things had changed; she still loved me, but she had accepted a job out of state. She didn’t tell me where.

I cried for a while. I have to say I like having two sexy roommates, but the truth is, the feeling of being alone hit me hard at that moment. But I understood I didn’t own either of these women. Both had very free and at times fiery spirits. I did the best I could, and occasionally I would get a text or email from one of them. I would reply, but that was the end of it. It felt so sudden, and for me I threw myself into my magical research and reading. Not much else to do.

But at this moment, a half-elf woman was offering me ritual sex to seal a deal, and until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I missed being touched and loved. I missed making love to someone. I had always been a little selective of who I had sex with; at that moment, my body count was four. But…

I nodded assent. Raven smiled and took my hand in hers. It isn’t very hard to find a bedroom in a cabin-sized structure. The Trois had used it often, and it still had the king-sized four-poster bed in it. Raven stood in front of it and disrobed. Suddenly, there was a beautiful naked half-elven woman in front of me. I suddenly realized how horny I was and it started to show. So, I followed suit and disrobed myself and stood a couple of feet in front of her.

She produced a small ritual dagger in her left hand and took my right. She made a cut across the palm, then cut her own right palm, and then clasped her bleeding hand in mine. She began to say some words in Elvish, and I could follow some of them. It was magic-laced words of binding and trust, and I could feel the magic between us arise as our blood mingled. When she was finished, she released my hand, and to my surprise, it wasn’t bleeding anymore, but there was a faint scar.

The next second, though, I had her pressing her body against mine with her arms wrapping around my neck. Our height difference was almost comical as she pulled herself up on her toes to kiss me with my 6-foot-4-inch height. For my part, my hands went to her waist and then down her butt slowly until they were mid thigh and then I grabbed her thighs and pulled her up. She wrapped her legs around me.

Now, normally I would not kiss (or fuck) and tell. I tend to keep that in my memories and not share. But there are some things I have to say about our lovemaking that might be pertinent later:

1) If Raven is a common example of elvish lovemaking, then they are all freaks. I had heard stories, of course, about how the Stoic domenor comes off when elves are alone with themselves or close friends, but I had no idea. Raven was ‘crazy bitch’ levels of enjoying the experience. I thought for sure Grumm and Alex would come running based on her screams and groans, but they didn’t.

2) During the actual act, I found myself thinking I was being dominated or at least there was an attempt to dominate me. Not spells per se, but just the sit back and let me ride you kind of vibes. Oddly, while I would normally accept a woman riding me as a good time, I turned it around. Let’s just say that when Raven put on her panties afterwards, they slipped over some red cheeks that had an impression resembling my handprints on them. She smiled and didn’t seem to mind, almost like she was impressed.

3) The magic works, and as best as I can tell, it is on the up and up. I tried casting some of the small Enchantment spells I know at Raven, and they simply didn’t materialize. I could feel the magic the whole time, and it just added to the experience. I also felt something else, like a bond between us. More than just the magic, but I somehow trusted her more. Like, she legitimately wanted this partnership, and she wanted it to work.

Once we were both dressed again. She came over and kissed me again.

“I would love to stay the night after that, but I have other matters to attend to.”

”Busy now, huh?”

“Yeah, this Councilwoman and Chairperson role is exhausting at times.”

“So, how is this going to work?”

“I will send you an encrypted email tomorrow. It will tell you what I would like you to do for your first mission. You can contact me if you need more details.”

“OK.”

She kissed me again. Deeply.

“Thank you, Edward. The council could really use your help, and thanks for the sex – I enjoyed it immensely.”

With that, she let go of my neck, and I walked her to the door. Grumm and Alex were waiting for her in their car about fifty yards off. I watched her walk to the car, keeping my eyes on that nice tight little, nicely curved ass of hers. Once she was inside and they had driven off, I went back inside my cabin. Activated my wards and made a note that she had called me ‘Edward’, and I didn’t mind.

Something else comes to mind now that I write about it. I am in a good mood for the first time since Amber Left. I never realized how much physical intimacy affects my moods. Right now, I could take on a pack of werewolves and be smiling about it. I have to keep that in mind. I miss the girls for a ton of reasons, but perhaps I should open myself up to other relationships just to add some joy to my life. It’s limited, but it beats the loneliness I have felt for half a year. For Odin’s Sake, how much am I becoming more Pixie-like in my attitude toward sex?

I guess I will see what this encrypted email brings for me tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes:

Sorry, it took so long to write again, but reworking The Hedge Wizard of Redberg / Rogue Wizard universe so that it is caught up both time-wise and puts my main character (my avatar basically) into a new situation took a bit. I do think this situation will get the desired result, which is that this series, ‘The Grey Wizard’, will be a never-ending story of sorts. It is a series that will keep going as long as I want to keep it going. There is no real ending in mind, just the idea of striving from one story to the next.

I wanted to get the Grey Wizard Edward out on his own, so to speak, and have a new motivation to get out there and do something in the world of magic. Getting Amber and Lunnette out of the picture was a part of that. As much as I liked writing battle scenes with all three involved, they were kind of overpowered when together.

I like the irony of Edward working for the Council that had hunted him for most of his life is interesting, but I knew the changes to the Council had to be significant to pull that off. Plus, add an old character that I never really did much with as the Chairperson, and a new situation is born.

We will see what happens in the coming episodes.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Sex – “What’s Your Body Count, Mr. Raby?”

Happy Freya’s Day!

I was teaching class one day and I had been given an assignment and was walking around making sure the students were working on it. Most of my students know I am divorced and thus single. The students were working and talking like students do and then one of my piped up and asked: “What’s your body count, Mr. Raby?” Several of the other students quickly remarked this was not a proper question to ask a teacher. I didn’t have to answer after that and I didn’t. It was quickly forgotten except by me.

I know what the question means as I have been single long enough to get the question through dating. For me, it is not a matter of pride or shame, but of faith. The number is one. My ex-wife was my only sex partner so far. Not that had I met up with the woman I had an affair with I might not have made it two at the time. The reason is simply that one does not fool around in Christianity, at least in theory.

In reality, I lost track of the affairs I knew about in my churches as a pastor. I also lost track of the people who were discovered fooling around. Just because people are religious doesn’t mean they don’t want to fuck or are attracted to others. It gets really hard for some as being LGBTQ sucks inside the church. But that was never me until the end and even then it never happened.

Back to me though, I have never thought the idea of casual sex was a smart one. Sex as an expression of friendship, companionship, love, and commitment are OK in my book, but the modern hookup culture doesn’t appeal to me. I guess sex in the context of a relationship is something I would do if I trust the person. I am just not into getting my rocks off and ghosting or being ghosted.

It’s why I left the online dating scene. Too much fronting and too much of it about getting laid instead of genuine relationships. I like sex, but I am not going to go through the cesspool of internet dating to get it. Until my shieldmaiden comes along, I am happy to just work on myself. Sex is something I long for as a man and my tastes are very masculine, but until the right partner comes along, I am happy with my body count of one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“New Format and Changes” – Freya’s Chambers – Sensual Art

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

I just want to use this post to announce some changes to the format.  I will continue to discuss issues related to what I have before but there will hopefully be two changes that I hope everyone will enjoy. Number one I plan on making some pages soon to separate the topics on Freya’s Chambers.  This will happen over time as a topic is posted under a certain heading and I will organize things.

Secondly, I am going to start a pin-up girl of the week feature to deal with my favorite form of sensual art – the vintage pin-up.  Not just in art form but photos as well.

Pin-Up Girl of the Week: Kathy MacDonald – Miss Playboy Playmate March 1969

See the source image

See the source image

See the source image

See the source image

I have looked at these photos many times from the month I was born. Kathy is still alive but I doubt very much she still looks as lovely as in these photos. A simpler and classical time for pin-up girls and for Playboy Magazine. A beautiful woman.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Writing Thoughts – O For a Muse of Fire” – The Rabyd Skald

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

I have been thinking of late about how much I struggle writing.  I never used to have this much problem doing it, but these days it is a major uphill struggle and I can only figure one reason.  I don’t have muse anymore. I lack that person, real or imaginary to inspire my writing and it is becoming a real problem. 

In many ways, my imagination has always personified itself into a form that I have called my muse  This was contrasted by a personification of my internal editor. My muse was always female and my editor male. Just imaginary concepts to have a conversation with while I was writing. My muses have represented that which I found important at the time.

  1. In my early days, my writing was inspired by my boyhood imagination.  My muse became a personification of that. A young teasing girl my own age who pushed me.
  2. Faith was my muse for most of my writing up until I left my faith five years ago.  I did notice this struggle at that time as well.
  3. Only one time did my muse center around an actual person and Elpis the Dryad was a personification of the inspiration Miss Salty gave me. Miss Salty remains the only actual female that was also my muse. It is one of many reasons I still have a hard time shrugging her off my heart, she is truly unique to me. She was and sometimes remains and inspiration to my writing. Or at least who she presented herself to be to me was.  Now the only inspiration she gives me is the occasional sad love poem.

This leaves me with a hole I have not truly filled back in and it makes me struggle writing. I am so scattered in my thoughts these days when I write.  I need new creative focus and I will be damned if I can figure out what it will be.  Something to set my imagination on fire so the digital ink burns as I tap the keys.

See the source image

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Writing Erotica” – Freya’s Chambers – Sensual Art

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

See the source image

Discussion:

I haven’t really addressed the subject of sensual literature so far in Freya’s Chamber’s so here goes.  I am not a fan of romance novels as the plot seems pretty much the same.  The only innovation I have seen is not it is not always exclusively boy meets girl.  They=, meet, a problem arises, the overcome problem while falling in love, they confess love and curtain.  The sex scene that would follow such stories is far more interesting because the romance to me is all the hype of how passionate people are toward each other.  That sex scene would reveal if the hype was just hype or real passion.  Making love does that.

See the source image

Erotic novels try to capture that passion and give it physical form. It indicates how creative we are when it comes to sex as quite frankly the ways we make love are legion and the ability to describe them with words is, in my opinion, a difficult art.  It is this descriptive wordplay of erotica that draws people to it.

See the source image

I have tried my hand at erotic stories.  Privately and both before I left the ministry and after. It is not as easy as you might think  Words that envoke fantasy and passionate sex are not just run of the mill words. There is a whole new vocabulary, grammar style and way of fitting words together to describe what two (or more) people are doing so not only can you see it with your mind, but feel it with your heart, smell it, taste it and feel eery sensual action. Try simply describing and writing out a sex act you had once nad capture al that and you will see what I mean

See the source image

Most of my erotic stories when I first started centered on married couples trying to resurrect passion in their lovemaking.  Later it became about forbidden love or even infidelity. Adding in fetishes and other human traits simply followed in these themes.  Recently though I have written about mental sex.  Two people sit down in a cafe and look at one another and basically have sex with each other in their imaginations.  It gets interesting to switch back and forth as they each have subtle differences in how they perceive each other. Sometimes they know each other, other times they don’t.  Nothing gets beyond the short story.

See the source image

Sensual words are something that impresses me now. It is hard to do them right and with effectiveness. Like all writers, those who craft erotic literature are all over the place as far as skill and depth.  Those that are the most skillful, seem to pull me into their world where I am not just a voyeur but a participant in the making love itself.

See the source image

Perhaps one day I will get it right myself and pull that off.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Tolkein’s Day” – Odin’s Eye

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

Today is Tolkein’s Day and as most of us might be at home, perhaps picking up and reading one of his books is a good way to celebrate it. I cannot underestimate the influence of the man on my imagination as a boy growing up. The Hobbit remains my favorite fantasy book of all time. The effect on me was to open my horizons and cause me to think more with the eye of how imagination can take us to places we could never go with my other way

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

I meditate on my days as a child a lot.  I would have to say the chief influences of that wonderful year I went from elementary school to middle school was one of the best between reading The Hobbit that summer, as well as, Mrs. Frisby and the Rat’s of Nihm (an introduction to science fiction for me)  were both books that set my course.

See the source image

Of course, I also learned a great deal about adult female anatomy from the teacher who gave me Nihm.  She had a habit of dressing in lingerie that shall we say was a little loose fitting and didn’t cover much.  She apparently didn’t notice my body was going through puberty a little earlier than most boys my age.  Between Tolkein. Nihm and the free anatomy lessons, I found my boy’s heart starting to grow into manhood.

See the source image

Mystery:

I would say that the same feeling of awe and mystery is with me today.  Tolkien gave me a sense of imaginative mystery that still inspires me to write to this day.  Not to mention giving my favorite wizard of all time – Gandalf. A wizard I might say that is based on Woden – Odin’s English counterpart.

See the source image

Spirituality:

In some small way, I think this might have been the beginning of my fall from faith.  I found myself constantly at odds with people who would condemn Tolkein for his use of magic or that he was a Catholic.  mY response would be – ‘who cares, the man writes good stories.  It is this rebellion that remains in my soul whenever some busybody with an opinion wants to intrude into my life. A rebellious spirit that lives with me to this day.

See the source image

Conclusion:

I am grateful to Tolkein for his works and to a time of my life in a summer that I was reading them that made me start shifting from boy to man. Happy Tolkein Day everyone!

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Vintage Gynephilic” – Freya’s Chambers

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

Some time ago I wrote as part of my sexual identity is that not only am I very heterosexual but that I probably take it a step further by being very gynephilic – that is I have a deep love for women in general. This something I used to struggle with as a Christian as you are not supposed to love women like that as the can tempt you to sin.  But now, I find the love of women one of my few joys in life. As I said before, I love how they look, smell, talk, act and just their overall femininity.

See the source image

I know I get along better with most women than men. That is probably because I have a basic philosophy that some apocalyptic crises could happen and if I survive it, I want to be able to cuddle up with a woman at the end fo the day and you never know who that will be. I know that sounds strange I suppose, but the ladies do keep me fascinated and hopeful so I am not really picky as to the type of woman in crisis I would shack up with as long as they are cuddly.

See the source image

All of this started when I was very young with pin-up girls, a few copies of Playboy under my bed and an interesting encounter with one of my teachers who lived next door. I was about ten when that last one happened and when you go over to your teacher’s house to get a copy of book you wanted to finish that summer only to find her dressed in a short negligee she threw over herself because she was probably a nudist, as a young boy you suddenly realize that the female of the species is pretty fascinating.  So fascinating that you stop playing little boy games with your friends and start to dedicate a lot of your time to figure them out.

See the source image

While my friends were playing with snakes and in the creek, I was noticing girls and women were wonderfully different. Hitting puberty early didn’t help matters.  I soon became head over heels in love with girls and women.

See the source image

Probably the most magical thing about that time is as a boy growing up in the eighties, the sensual stuff about women was what today would be considered vintage.  Today you can get any pose of any type of woman you would like.  Back then it was more of a very selected group as well as being shots that were set up very carefully. it was an art in and of itself.

See the source image

I guess that is why I still love pin-ups and the girls from that era more than those of today.  Although the girls of today seem far better at the sensual posing than girls of the past who were more interested in being flirty not sensually powerful.  To me, it has always been about how beautiful and wonderful women are and that is why I love them. Call me a vintage gynephilic.

See the source image

 

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Religion, Sex, and Deconversion” – Freya’s Chambers – Sex

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

When I was a person of faith and religion, sex was an uncomfortable topic for me and those around me.  Mostly because there is this whole notion of sin that is injected into the picture. Plus there was a lot of shame associated with being found to have a sexual attitude that differed from the acceptable norm.  Certainly, my sexual education really didn’t have a chance to get anything factual unless it was by accident. Being the rebel I have always been when it comes to social mores, I found myself at odd on the subject of sex and nudity in the Christian context more than once. The real issue for Christians is keeping the desire for sex inside their so-called god-given boundaries. That being one man, one woman in marriage for life. This avoids the deadly sin of Lust.

When I realized that the whole sin thing was made up, this caused me to change my attitudes about sexuality quite a bit.  Mostly things get really basic as I think that the whole ideas of faith and religion actually complicate the matter of sex quite a bit. In religion, everyone argues nuances to see how far they can push their own sexual proclivities. The discussion, if it is had at all, is one of arguing small details of ‘how far is too far’.  I mean it really comes down to looking at each sexual issue and asking does the Bible or the religion allow it?  In my own faith, the issues of masturbation and whether in marriage oral sex, anal sex and BDSM were allowed. The one thing for sure was no one is allowed to think for themselves on the subject.

See the source image

This leads to all kinds of secret behavior that in many ways is far more erotic, unsafe and in many ways weirder than outside the church when it comes to sex. The most common being that religious teens are often told little about birth control if at all, but sooner or later the young couple gets alone and things happen. Unwanted teenage pregnancies anyone?  Not to mention that while abortions are opposed by Christians, the people who actually get them the most, probably because of the unwanted pregnancies, are Christians.

See the source image

If only birth control were taught in a proper manner, then fewer of these abortions would take place.  But that is the kind of logic that religion causes you to not even consider.  Sex before marriage is a sin and so is abortion.  You don’t need birth control because its a sin to have sex before your married and you will thus never need an abortion.  If only human behavior conformed so nicely into such black and white terms.

See the source image

This, of course, leads to the hypocrisy of the public maintenance of certain standards while at the same time privately not even at times being remotely close to those standards.  Divorce, infidelity, and abortion are higher among the religious than the irreligious and I understand now why.  There is an incredible power to guilt to keep control but at the same time, such guilt produces curiosity.

See the source image

I experienced this over and over myself as people would tell me such and such behavior was harmful and then I would start thinking about the behavior and why it was harmful.  Sooner or later I would engage the behavior and then discover it wasn’t that harmful – let’s just say if masturbation makes you blind, I should have been sightless a long time ago. If there is some physical malady that arises from watching or looking at porn, yeah, I would have that too.  So far all I could say was I developed a lot of guilt for nothing.

See the source image

Since deconverting, I have no hell to worry about, no wrath of a god that doesn’t exist.  The guilt aspect has diminished quite a bit.  Sex has become a part of life, nothing more or less.  Much more rationally approached.  I enjoy making love to my wife; we have a good time.  but, I don’t get guilty about it when I find myself sexually attracted to other females though – it’s normal.  What I do consider is consent, safety, and maturity which includes societal consequences.  In the case of my wife – fidelity as a virtue is actually much more important than it was as a believer.  Because I don’t assume it anymore and look at it as something to strengthen and improve because that is what you do with virtues.

See the source image

I personally am much more open to a polyamorous relationship, but my wife is not, so I honor that and respect it as long as we continue to choose to be together.  Because all those vows made before God, don’t mean shit to me anymore.  My religion was discarded a long time ago and with it the attitudes it has concerning sex and marriage.   What matters is fidelity and honor. For those, I stay true but rationally realistic about my own sexual desires.  I see religion colors the lenses so badly, it leads to more trouble than it is worth.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Happy Valentine’s Day” – Freya’s Chambers – Sex

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

See the source image

Just a short post here on Valentine’s Day wishing you and your significant other(s) a happy Valentine’s Day.  Have a romantic and sexy time. May your breath be taken away in more ways than one. 🙂

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on the Transgender” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

This is one of those subjects I was going to get to later but it has been put in my face due to recent events.  A coworker came out recently that ‘he’ was transgender and in a few months months ‘he’ was going to become ‘she’.  He talked to me with a lot of trepidation, my empathy could tell he was very nervous and they told me it was because of my background.  As a former minister, they didn’t know where I stood on this issue.  I told him that he really didn’t have anything to fear from me as I pretty much now allow people to be whatever sexual identity they want to be.See the source image

My atheism has made me quite liberal on most social matters as I don’t care what identity/ role or pronoun people use about themselves anymore. My main issue regarding sexuality and behavior is as I said some time ago.  Is it consensual, is it safe, and are the people involved emotionally mature enough to handle it?  Beyond this let freedom reign.

See the source imageIf someone, therefore, feels they are a woman but their body is male, then I can’t conclude they are wrong out of hand any more.  No appeal to authority for my morality means I treat them as human beings who are making choices about their life.  I respect them and support them and their right to make such a decision themselves. My own sexual identity has no bearing on this.  This is about an individual right to make decisions regarding their body and sexual identity.   A right that no person should take from them.

See the source image

My concern for them is that they consider all the risks and factors as honestly as they can and with the greatest amount of information possible to make the best decision for themselves there are risks both mental and physical and this change tends to be a one way trip with some things that cannot be reversed.  This a lifestyle-altering decision and should be treated as such.  Socially the stigma is very negative right now and it can be violent, cause the trans person to consider suicide and other mental escapes even more than others, etc. Going into this decision without full counseling and consideration of all the implications is unwise and I don’t recommend it.

See the source image

It’s also why I don’t think minors should be allowed to make this decision, not to mention letting their body grow to the point where it can take the stress the transformation can put on it, and some changes are simply not possible until the body matures anyway.

The one thing I will not tolerate anymore, is these people being treated badly. I stand very strong for individual rights in this area and my coworker needn’t have been concerned because my attitude now is to defend their right to make this change.  I just have to get used to the change as it happens on a practical level.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!