Routines

“Rebel Self” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Here at the end of the week of consideration of my bucket list items, I have to note that this part fo the list is very much more of my rebel side.  This is despite the fact that the virtues involved are Discipline, Perseverance, and Loyalty.  The issue is that part of the fruit of all these is freedom.

The rebellious act on my bucket list plainly states this and the tattoo is more of a subtle issue, but not overly so. The discovery of origins and visiting those countries just fits the wanderer that is The Grey Wayfarer.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

My main goal is that next year I will be celebrating Beltane in my own way. My life of discipline giving way to a less disciplined moment in time where I do something purely for me that is not a ‘so-called’ socially acceptable thing to do.  A rebellious action against society but something that makes me happy.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The tattoo will probably also accomplish one of my five remaining goals before the end of March. Either my first check of a new job will help me do this or I will be using part of my tax return to do it. Either way, the rebel within will be expressed on my skin.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This probably the most long term goal I have on my bucket list.  It reflects finding roots and getting truly acquainted with my past. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found a few rebels in it.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Being wise in all this, counters the rebellion.  Is there such a thing as a wise rebel.  I think there is when you pick and choose what to be rebellious with and how to do it.  Giving a middle finger to the back of life instead of the front so to speak.  Others may see you, but not the ones that can make your life difficult.  In this case, there is a wisdom to embracing my rebel self as it keeps the boiler of life from exploding with a safety valve.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  6. Writing – 3000 Words

Solid.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 5

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Terrified into Publication” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Journal Entry:

What a great line – ‘terrified me into publication’.  That is awesome.  I guess it counters the normal fear which is being terrified to go through the publication process.  But to be terrified to the point you must work to get published is another matter.  May I also become terrified in the same manner.

My bucket list items under Business Virtues are about the publication of books and a fruit of that which would be owning a home.  It is about creating a new future for myself. Being a writer right now is a struggle because of learning to develop the habits of writing  I need.  But if I get them it will definitely be better for me in the long run.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

In ten years to be the published author of at least five books is the goal here and that is not beyond the realm of possibility. Unless no books get written, so time to learn how to write books both consistently and every day.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

This is more specific and reflects a desire of mine to have a published novel to say I did it.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

To own my own home again is something necessary for retirement.  I need a place in the world to end and share with others. It’s about having my own space.  A writer’s home with all that goes with that.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Once again I see my bucket list here is about me. It is now very interesting to me that this is the case and perhaps my bucket list items were formed more with the idea of being just towards myself.  Loving myself and treating myself right are two positive things.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

The point this gets hard is at #5 for some reason. I think once I get passed this barrier things will be smoother.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Milestones” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

A family member once remarked to me that my goals and bucket list items were good but seemed unrealistic at times or might be hard to achieve.  I told them that is kind of the point.  For me Goals, whether the regular yearly ones or the ones on my bucket list are milestones on the journey. Markers of progress.  The goals are about getting somewhere even if that somewhere is gone to simple for enjoyment’s sake.

My bucket list items are just that – the enjoyment of life milestones.  They are the subject this week of review and one that I enjoy every time in doing because they are the ones that cause me to dream the biggest.  The point of a bucket list is to keep you living life and if done right has things crossed off it regularly.  Also though there should be things on it when you die.  The most damning thing in my mind for a human being is not to have his eye on the horizon toward the next mile marker even when you’re dying.

You can milestones or gravestones – the choice is yours.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I want hiking to be more of a regular hobby of sorts.  I need out more and even if alone hiking offers me that thinking solace that I enjoy, but also the fresh air and exercise do wonder to my mood.  My bucket list item here is about my first long camping hike.  After that who knows.  Hiking the AP, PCT, and CDT in retirement?  Maybe.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

My first and last time in Budapest was so fast and I enjoyed it but I want to go back as a travel goal.  Part of a longer trip to discover my origins, maybe that river cruise capstone of that experience.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

This a new one where I can say to people I read a book a week for a year but also a desire that this is a habit I get into as well.  I want to learn something right up to the day of my death.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am looking at this part of my bucket list and realizing that persuing these three items is some of the most loving things I could do for myself. The journey to these three items is really about me getting something I would love to do. All of them are expressions of who I want to be and what I want to see in my life.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I need to get the mechanics for this routine down and some stuff for meditation purposes.  I do like how this works now.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Forging the New Me” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

There is no doubt after leaving the ministry and faith that I need to forge a new me.  Sure it is going to be made out of the base materials of my life that are left, but it is going to have to be new.  This is the hard part and it is also the getting started part too which makes it even more difficult. Except, it’s getting a little easier.

I saw a member of my former congregation a couple days ago at my work and it took me back for a second until I walked by them and she walked by me,  She looked at me, knew who I was and said nothing.  I responded in kind.  It was a triggering experience to be sure, but for some reason, I got over it much quicker than I thought I would.  Shit,  The further I get along from those events it seems the better I slowly get and it becomes easier to focus on the future.  The only exception seems to be lost love – Miss Salty.  I still struggle with that, but who I am and changing it is becoming easier.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

Nothing really about this goal that I can say other than the removal of some of the crap still remaining in my diet was a little easier than I thought. I feel better and the transition continues. The issue is to have myself be going strong Paleo by March 31st.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I am thinking next week I will switch my walking indoors.  I hate treadmills but it is the only option for me right now that the snow has arrived.  This is the other goal that has a finish line in March so I just have to keep going.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Goal Achieved

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Wisdom is hard here.  I need a major change in direction in my life,  I can see that.  I just don’t know what is going to fly off when it happens.  I know if I stay where I am and doing what I am doing, it won’t end well.  I can see it.  Wisdom says that I need to put off the past as much as possible and that is what I need to do.  The dross of the past needs to go and the new me forged from the iron that remains.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  6. Writing – 3000 Words

This is going to be good I can tell already.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 5

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“You Can’t Go Back” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Journal Entry:

As I have started developing the discipline of being a writer, the reading parts are coming along fairly well.  It is the writing that is more time crunching and I think it is going to necessitate a change between workdays and rest days as to how much I write. it isn’t that 2000 words is a difficult goal, but it is time-consuming on a day I work, workout and then try to do the business of my life.   This is why I have fallen down a few times on days I work in getting that word count or even writing at all as life on a day I work can take a lot of time when the family needs you or you need to do other things.

I think the answer is to drop to 1000 words (about a blog post of extra work on a workday and then do 3000 on a rest day. This may fall short of my tentative goal of 60,000 by the end of November but you never know on rest days I might do more if inspired. I am also not going to try to make up missed work.  I find that is more frustrating in the long run and the best course of action is to pick where you are, make adjustments and then get moving. Looking back is never a good way to go.

Another thing I have been considering is doing 2-3 projects at once.  I should have taken this lesson from the blog because as people should notice I vary my content as far as the subject so I don’t get bored with one thing.  It is this shifting that has been very effective in keeping me blogging over the years I have done it. I may have to apply this to my writing as well.  perhaps 3-4 items that I rotate like the blog so I can do fiction and non-fiction at the same time.  This may slow down getting a book done every month or two but in the end, it will keep me writing every day which is the main thing.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

The job search has entered the long term frustrating part.  I get more and more rejections and still no interview at all.  I decided to use The Clergy Project and their ’employee help’ grant to see if I can get some help.  I don’t like getting help from a personality point of view but sometimes you need to go there. Using the resources at one’s disposal is self-reliant. Still, I would rather do it on my own personality.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Goal Achieved.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

Goal Achieved.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

It is nice to look at this set of three goals and see only one left.  True, the most significant one, but I can’t help have a gut feeling that this one is a significant life changer. It will greatly change how I deal with life and people and I know that. I am just not sure everyone will like the job and career path I want to follow now.  Particularly those of Christian and religious persuasion.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I think the change will make the writing part a little less daunting on very busy workdays.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“5 Remaining Goals” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

With the Crossing Off of another goal, it is time to list off the remaining ones and has some thoughts about them. This week A Skald’s Life is all about considering my goals so let’s first consider the remaining ones as a group.

  1. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.
  2. Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
  3. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
  4. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  5. To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

# 1 – I continue to look and I am getting anxious about this, I am hoping the new support group connection will help there as they do offer career change aid, for those that qualify.

#2 – Once I have the new job or my tax return comes in I am going to get the tattoo on my bucket list so that it will be crossed off.

#3- what I am doing as regards to NaNoWriMo and using it to write my first Non-Fiction Book, number 3 might be off this list fairly soon. Like December at the latest.

#4 – I need only to make one alteration which is to shift my walking. hiking indoors for the winter.

# 5 – I am also getting closer to being fully Paleo but I am having thoughts in March and I may merge the ideas of Paleo and Keto at that time.

If I get the new job and the tattoo and finish my non-fiction book by December, then all that will remain to do is finish to March with Paleo and Exercise.  It gets nice as you cross goals off the list because you can put more concentration on a smaller list.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Like I said the most likely candidate for this goal is my tattoo.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

NaNoWriMo being used instead to write my non-fiction book is working OK.  I need to catch up a little at the time of this writing. Days off will be critical to doing this.  I am kind of focusing on this goal and getting a job right now. The rest of my goals are more long term so this one is next as far as an early cross off along with getting a better job.

Higher Virtue: Love:

This renewed focus on goals is necessary right now. It takes my mind off of other more destructive thoughts to self-love. Goals do that for me, along with discipline.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This working really well, but would probably work better if I had my meditation place and altar.  Both are a work in progress.  I am also thinking of writing out nine meditations so I focus on the important parts of each virtue.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Simple but Important Commitment” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

NaNoWriMo: Day 1 – 0 words. 

Journal Entry:

Over the last few months I have been meditating on why I struggle with my routines and discipline so much and I realized I need to make a single but important commitment to combat it.  I don’t do anything else until my obligations and to-do list are done for each day.  I need to make the commitment to getting the business of my life done first then relaxing.  Does this mean is am going to have less fun.  Probably not.  I can find fun in my work whatever it may be.

My principles of self are centered around that which should make me personally stronger in a multitude of ways.  But that doesn’t work if I don’t exercise myself to be stronger.  That starts every day with the idea of doing the list and then relaxing and enjoying life for a bit.  it is much more satisfying to my psyche when I do this.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

This single commitment is about discipline and getting things done for me. Applying discipline to the course fo the day is important every single day.  Even when it is about getting proper rest.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

This principle is natural to me but recognizing the reasons for failure so it doesn’t happen in the first place is important so this virtue doesn’t become a vice of something I rely on instead of being a safety net.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This commitment is about being loyal to myself first.  I recognize that now. Time to finish some goals and move my life forward and that is not going to magically happen. I need to be loyal enough to myself to make it happen.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Commitments need to be wisely done and I have been putting this one off for far too long.  Work then play is wise the majority of the time. Yeah, you have to let go from time to time but for the daily grind, this is going to be my mantra for a while until the habits I need are developed.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  6. Writing – 2000 Words

Made the changes regarding reading and writing.  This should make things progress a little.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 5

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

Another goal down. Time for some more.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Crossing Off Another Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I wasn’t really looking for a new support group per se.  Being part of a group is something I have wanted for a while.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted other than since departing from my church my social life has taken a major downturn but more importantly finding people to talk to who know what you have been through is very difficult when you are a former pastor and now confirmed atheist.

I talked about the Clergy project a few days ago and after joining I can say it is what I was looking for.  It also has a few resources I need as far as a business – counseling to get my head on straight again and they have help in finding a good job so that might be useful.  mostly though it is nice to at least forum talk to people who have been there.

The main thing is that I have a goal to cross off below.  4 down, 5 to go.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

I have started to realize that my nature to be an advocate for something might fit well with any not-for-profit that is about advocating for a political cause that involves freedom. It is along these lines that my new job and my principle might join together and it is those moments I love.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I enjoy the people I work with now and the work isn’t that hard, to be honest.  It is just, as I tried to explain to someone using football (American) as an analogy, my wife and I are in the mid-third quarter and down by 35.  We need to engage some serious offense and flawless defense for the next 15-20 years or we are not going to win this retirement thing. I also would like a job I enjoy more. This one can be physically challenging at moments, but mentally I am bored out of my skull most days.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

The other nice thing about achieving this goal is that I will have some opportunities to take my experience and help someone else.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I can say one thing for sure.  Justice would be best served on all those who wronged me if I was successful at transitioning and still had a great life.  At that point, I could say – ‘fuck’em’ and move on. I guess I feel that this will be an issue with me for some time.  Like some of them, in particular, the Dirty Pig, got the better of me until I become more prosperous and have moved on with something better.  Then justice will at least be starting to turn its wheels for me.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 2000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I made some changes to the routine to reflect the goals: 2000 words of writing a day and 1/7th of a book a day to start training for the goals for next year and NaNoWriMo in a few days.  November 1st I need to bear down and get going.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“2000 Words” -A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Since writing my post for Saturday about National Novel Writing M0nth (NaNoWriMo) and deciding to use that month to instead do a Non-Fiction Book, I have been meditating on the 2000 words per day goal with that. I am now pretty confident t about that as I not only feel this is a worthy goal and one that is achievable for me, I feel it needs to be a daily habit to hit a word total each day.  The reason I say this is a far more concrete goal than writing for an hour that I have had before.  Because you can sit there for an hour and write only 500 words. I think the issue is making a goal that actually gives me daily progress.

To put it in perspective, my average post on this blog falls within 1000 words.  Pretty typical for me and that takes 30-45 minutes to write and then probably another 15 minutes to edit. If I follow my pattern of letting a post sit a day and editing it again the next day, that’s another 15 minutes.

Writing a book is a different matter because the editing for me would be akin to sitting down for hours and reading the material and editing it all in one go. So I could just follow the NaNoWriMo philosophy and just write and get the 2000 words in an hour or at the most an hour and a half. Very much possible if I put off some personal entertainment and get about the business of writing.

This week I will be hitting my principles in A Skald’s Life so that will be reflected bellow.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I guess I find it easier to find personal honor in others than in myself.  I am an observer of people and I find what is good in a far different way than before.  Honor is a feeling of value and it is far easier to find value or how people are valuable when thinking about others for me.

It is finding value in myself right now that is a challenge.  I just am struggling with that right now. I need a new life in the sense of having a new place, job and environment I think. It is why I am going to be expanding my job search for most of the country.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Philosophically, I don’t struggle so much with acting once I know what the right thing is, it is determining the right thing. I was told recently I am a little bit of an enduring asshole. That is a reflection of a little less tolerance for bullshit in my life and standing up to it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I think sometimes people have taken aback that I tell the truth a lot, even when it makes me look less flattering.  They are probably used to lies and accept them as part of life from others. I just don’t have it in me to lie to people anymore.  I spent a lot of my last three years of ministry, fronting a lost faith and have no desire to front anything anymore. What you see is what you get with me; take it or leave it.

I still struggle with what the truth is and how to deal with it.  I realized three months ago I was wrestling with whether I believed in any god at all and only recently accepted I don’t and to be honest the world could be here without god at all.  If there is a god, he is either one that doesn’t give a shit or we are just an experiment in a petri dish to him.  He isn’t benevolent that’s for sure. I have no evidence, in any case, to believe so until some evidence is given, I am facing the truth that I am for all practical and philosophical purposes an atheist.   So I am an Athiest Humanist with Pagan tendencies. 🙂

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love for the people who are important to me – check.  Love for self – hesitation to check. I am at a love crossroads regularly.  I need to take the self-love fork soon or there is going to be a problem.  I will get too close to the cliff of self-sacrifice to death if I don’t take the self-love fork at a certain point.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I like this routine now better than before.  It allows me to get the basics done and be ready to go through the day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“I Think Another Goal is Achieved” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I think I have achieved my goal under hospitality.  I am writing about it here because I think we will see the goal of being part of a support group of some kind crossed off. I wanted to make a not of it from a journal point of view.

I heard about the Clergy Project from reading the book Caught in the Pulpit several years ago. I never felt I fit because to be a part of it you have to have two qualifications: 1) You have to be a former minister of some type and 2) You have to have no belief in the supernatural or god.  I wanted to make sure of the second one before I attempted to join.  They have a vetting process.

There is no one that understands the whole issue leaving the pulpit and faith like another person who has done it.  I knew I was in the right place as soon as I started talking about stuff on the forums and looking at the resources.  It may be very possible to get some job help and some counseling at least for a little while through the transition.  Finally a little hope.

It is funny though because some people who are part of it are still in the pulpit and have no faith.  That’s why the secrecy because churches tend to not be very understanding of a minister struggling with faith and their career.  That’s why this will be the last post about it and I will not reveal the process to join.  In any case, it looks like another goal achieved and this is a group that can go with me anywhere I go – a definite plus.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

Discipline is lacking these days and it has a negative effect.  I need to spend the weekend doing a couple things to get back on track and stick with it.  I mostly need to understand in my heart the value of discipline.  My brain knows but my heart is the one that needs to understand this to stay motivated with this.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I don’t get it, but I keep going.  Perseverance is rarely an issue.  I just wish I would not have to face so much to keep going.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am loyal to my gods – the fact that I have none. If I have an idea I gravitate to that fits being loyal to my ideology at this point, it is ‘no gods, no masters”.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

I wrote on wisdom already this week so I will leave it at that.  Other than to say that I feel joining the Clergy Project was a wise move for me.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.
  6. Writing – 1 hour

I am a writer.  Theses changes reflect that and are good ones. Now I just need to get back to discipline.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 4

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!