Habits

Focusing My Writing

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Freya’s Day!

So what is going well?

  1. I am getting up and getting to the gym before work every day and haven’t missed a workout since I made this change.
  2. My YouTube Channel recently got monetized at least with memberships, superchat. 1000 subscribers and I am making regular content. Enough watch hours in the near future and I could have ad revenue as well. Nice side hustle in the making.

Everything else is either questionable or non-existent: Summer equals hypersensitivity run amok and hypersensitivity run amok equals depression. So how do I fix it? By adding only a few things and sticking with them through Fall, Winter, and Spring; so when Summer comes habits will be in stone so they are automatic.

I am seriously considering going back to the third shift. There is a promotion opportunity for one, but even if I don’t get it I could use the shift differential. It’s the wake-up routine, end-of-day routine, and writing focus that needs work.

The blog is largely about my writing for therapeutic reasons so I want to look at that. This includes reading, writing regularly on this blog, my novel, and my deconversion story (autobiography – memoirs), I am now asking if this is too much. I don’t think so I just think trying to fire this up in May/June was a bad idea. I need to do a wake-up routine that if I am third shift would include writing/reading and the same with the day’s end routine. Focusing right now is the key while my mood is good. I guess I am learning to use my manic phases to help with the depressed ones.

I have a new serial in the works based on something I posted early this year. Hopefully it will come out soon.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Routines and Systems – Planning: First and Last Routines

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Yesterday I determined my various foci for my life and this week is going to be all about figuring out which routines are needed and what systems need to be put in place. The real challenge is as a third shifter morning and evening are very relative for me. So the real issue is more of ‘what is the best time or most productive time for this. Coming up with names to describe it is a little more difficult. It’s not a morning /evening situation. It’s not a wake-up/go-to-sleep situation Eventually I went First and Last.

The First Routine is done right after I get up. So the focus is the best part of my day being used for things that are probably creative in nature I can see my writing/reading and YouTube Stuff falling in this slot. This also would involve anything that is about the philosophical application to life. It is also about Love, Family, and Lifestyle. So it involves relationships and cleaning for the most part. This is where I reset my apartment from a cleaning point of view and then get ready for work on a workday or move into the last routine if it is a day off. This is the big routine but once I get it going it will be pretty much automatic once I get out of bed.

The Last Routine is more about health and perhaps a few other things. But mostly health and doing it for the most part right after work or when off that day right after the First. I get off work and go to the gym, and talk a walk if the weather permits. Get something to eat and head to bed.

I change the focus name of Money to Lifestyle because then it is a little broader. That’s applying philosophy to various aspects of life, not just money although money is included.

I am going to try my best to put everything I can into these two routines. But what doe not fit usually becomes a system and systems are used for the routines. The issue is if I can get it into a routine I am more likely to do it and have it become a habit. Stacking habits together is important for this process.

What remains is that for the next six days, I will be taking the six areas of focus and figuring out what goes in each routine and where. I need to get this as close to right as possible but I know adjustments need to be made and I am starting this with a lot of knowledge of the past.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Thoughts on 2022

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day and Happy New Year!

I look back on 2022 with frustration and some sense of self-discovery. It’s amazing how much those two go hand in hand.

My frustrations stem from a lack of satisfaction with where I am and what I am doing. I dislike Texas for a lot of reasons. I don’t enjoy the politics of it; the sub-tropical climate without any season to speak of; unless you count moving from green to brown of the foliage at times. The people are friendly enough but their viewpoints on life deeply seep into Christianity. The Bible Belt is alive and well. I reminded of a Viking saying about Christians – “Don’t trust them – they talk peace but carry a sword”. Christians are on the defensive so they are apologetic and kind. Just wait if the tables ever turn. I remember the 80s and 90s all too well. Politics, Climate, Religion, and Oh, Yes. Houston is without a doubt one of the worst-designed cities on the planet. One of the costs one expects in a city is that its design would help with is transport costs. But no, Houston is designed in such a way that you have to drive everywhere, even down a couple of blocks because public transport is a joke and sidewalks are non-existent as far as I can tell. Overall, I would say the environment fits me like a size 6 shoe and I have 10 and a half feet.

Top it off, my dissatisfaction with being a public school teacher has grown to the point that I want to be done at the end of the semester. I will finish out my contract and call it good. I hear most don’t last between 2-5 years so I am in good company. For me it is a little different – this job requires me to care too much – much as I did as a pastor. This is bad for me personally for a number of reasons. I am burnt out from caring about so many. I just can’t do it much longer. I hope that makes sense. It’s not that I don’t care about people, but the direct involvement in a lot of things in everyone’s life – I just can handle based on the simple fact that I get tired of doing it. I am worn out from that, I now understand I am probably too old to get that fire I used to get from helping people like that back. I will send myself to an early grave with the stress of my emotions. I no longer can help at a deep level without it triggering a lot of the Grey for me. My empathy is killing me at this point.

It’s this fact that has triggered The Grey a lot for me. It has led to the self-discovery that when I help others, I fail to take care of myself. This is not about selfishness – it’s about self-preservation. I getting too old for this shit. I have a lot of goals I have yet to achieve and this is not the way. My self-care has suffered and I can’t let that continue.

So in Viking Spirit, I am planning on ending my raid into Texas this summer and heading back home – north – back to Michigan. I can handle one more semester as long as I know it is the last one. But also during this semester, I need to get back to my coping mechanisms that keep the Grey at bay and make my life better overall. I need to once again put myself first. Getting Back to lifting weights, proper diet, writing, reading, meditation, and plan simply being a voice in the world for the NNV and Reason. To live the Viking Life in the modern age.

I suppose the one positive of raids is the plunder is good. I have made more in the last year and a half than four full years of ministry. That said, teaching is a tough job that deserves more. I think I can do better now that I have some measure of what it means to focus on things. Just wish I had a shieldmaiden by my side to help me with the burden of life. That would have made things easier. I haven’t found any shieldmaidens in Texas, maybe they are all northern gals. So I would be headed in the right direction. Tomorrow’s post will have more details on my vision for 2023.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Not the Best of Weeks

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Looking back at this week it was kind of shit regarding discipline and even getting things done. I was doing OK on Monday but then my job got intense as I had all these kids trying to get in last-minute grades to save themselves from failure, plus all the admin stuff that needs to be done. Monday and Tuesday I would come home and just collapse in tiredness. Kids are exhausting. Especially when you are dealing with over 100 a day asking you things.

Wednesday I started to develop some sneezing and at first, I felt like my allergies were kicking in. Not a good time to talk on YouTube for sure. Hoping to do The Pagan Pulpit on Sunday but as of this moment, my throat is trash. I spent most of Friday in bed and called into work.

So this coming week I hope will be better. I am starting to feel better and it is exam week so will have a little more time to focus on myself. I need to be more steady and consistent with this stuff, but when you are sick it’s often best just to relax and get better.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Routine Adjustments and Forming Habits

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

So what is the vision for myself I am trying to base my goals and thus what habits do I need to form on daily basis to achieve them? So we start with my vision of what I would like to see myself be. This has a few new elements seeing I am now single and working toward better things for me without consideration for a significant other. This has its own challenges because I am doing it with one income and without someone to run it through as a filter. I do consider that last part to be a bit of a weakness of being single.

My vision for myself has some specifics in that I value strength, masculinity, rationality, virtue, and quality of relationships over quantity. I also believe these work together and fortify each other. Thus the reason I used the quote from Henry Rollins for this post. One strength leads to another. So what habits do I need to achieve this?

The problem with this for me right now is that I recognize this as a process. Because of this habits may need to be added once I recognize the need for them, and others might need to be dropped. This is an evolving list and one that is going to change with time and further consideration. Thus the Daily Routine. Each item is designed to bring me day by day to some part of the vision. It’s interesting that this almost eliminates the idea of goals, now that I think of it, other than the goal is to create habits that create the vision of what I want to be.

The Grey Wayfarer’s Daily Routine (as of 5-15-22)

  1. Get up and Make the Bed: Goes to Mental Health. I can say at any time of the day I have made my bed. It’s also nice at the end of the day to climb into a made bed, even though the other side is empty right now. I miss cuddling the most. I usually get up 3am.
  2. Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues: Goes to Virtue. Basically, I read through them three times out loud. This is my way of coming to a better understanding of the virtues and thinking about how to apply them.
  3. Full Body Stretch: Goes to Strength of Body and Masculinity. I also put on my headphones at this point to listen to Viking Wisdom and Warrior Wisdom.
  4. Weight Training: Goes to Strength and Masculinity. I am still usually listening to Wisdom and Motivational stuff on my headphones. This is Monday through Saturday Only.
  5. Breakfast and Supplements: Goes Strength and Masculinity. My Diet is Cave Man (Paleo).
  6. Shit, Shower and Shave: Physical Health: Part of the Viking Wisdom I listen to is the expression about not worrying about the simplicity of Dress but rather worrying about health and Hygiene. Being clean and hygienic of body is more important than what you wear on that body.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day: Mental Health: This is the first mental acknowledgment that I am going to have to go outdoors so I need to prepare. It should be noted that 1 through 6 are done in the nude. I sleep naked as it leads to a more restful night of sleep for me. When I get up I fail to see the point of getting dressed to just take it off again to take a shower. I am comfortable in my own skin and tend to be an at-home nudist anyway. I have also found this leads to a good mental state of “This is me in the raw, what I am stripped down – what am I capable of like this?”
  8. Get ready for work: This is Monday through Friday only. It leads to financial health but there is a mental shift going on as well. I have a separate work routine. I will probably go over that at some point.
  9. Record YouTube Video for The Rabyd Atheist. Edit and Post. Goes to being socially strong. Having a voice in the world. I used to do this later but a practical concern caused me to change it to earlier. That concern is that after school the kids in my apartment complex play loudly. So Yesterday I made the decision to record as soon as I am ready for work. Even if I have to go to work right after I record I can pick this up later. Usually, I have plenty of time, as my routine (the more I get used to it) goes faster and takes less time.
  10. Write Post for The Grey Wayfarer: Goes to Mental Health and Social. I also have a vision of myself as being a philosopher writing out his wisdom at the end of his life. I am the guy who played LIFE the board game and wondered why retiring and becoming a philosopher was a bad outcome.
  11. Study: 30 mInutes: Right now this comes before reading because I am trying to finish my training for my teacher certification and working on it for a half-hour a day seems reasonable
  12. Reading – 3 chapters. God for me as the scholar and it starts to mark me coming down from the day. I find reading both engaging and relaxing. Mental Health here as well.
  13. Cleaning: 30 mInutes. This is more of a mental thing as well. This is also more of the spot cleaning of a room or rooms as on Sunday I have a full reset cleaning I do. Keeping my environment clean and in line with my tastes goes a long way toward fighting my depression.
  14. Personal Business: Mail, email, paying bills. I am probably going to morph this into planning and budgeting as I have a financial goal of getting debt-free as soon as possible.
  15. End the day: Take off my clothes and climb into bed. My alarms are all set through Alexa so. Sleep and reset.

Over time this should start to shape me in a lot of ways into a strong person of mind, body, and social responsibility. The only thing I am trying to add is a routine about staying connected to my family but in many ways that are in their hands as all my kids are welcome to interrupt my routine to talk to me. One of the perks of being my children. They are far busier than me so they all have permission to interrupt my life to talk to me.

I suspect that some of this will be changed over time and added to and subtracted from. There are two other routines in my life – Work and Sunday Rest. More on those next weekend.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Weekly Harvest of My Habits

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day!

Sif’s Day is about looking at how much of a personal harvest I have generated this week. Am I making progress with my life? Those of you who were fans of this blog a couple of years ago know I am a firm believer in setting goals, but I always struggled with execution. The mechanics of being consistent escaped me.

I recently found what I believe to be the key by reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. What I learned is much akin to Aristotle’s quote on excellence. You don’t just achieve excellence by a single act or even a few, but rather through the habits you practice every single day. It hit me at that moment that my vision and goals require one further question: What do I need to do every single day to reach them?

This epiphany has led to a lot of thinking about how vision/goals require habits to achieve and what habits are specific to mine. My overall goal now is to create the habits that lead to step-by-step reaching of my vision for myself. This requires a lot of planning and a lot of patience. This is because the results at first are slow but as time goes by, the results stack on each other until I will be a different person.

This week has been tough and a lot of adjustments, which I am going to talk about tomorrow, will be made as I realize what I need is a habit routine that will work regardless of my circumstances. I am planning on camping and hiking this summer but I need my routine to still be there every single day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!