Courage

Odin’s Eye – My Spiritual Rebuilding

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I am taking a break from the order to think a little bit about some things.  This last week of March has definitely been about making my Realignment of Virtues with their respective principles, goals and bucket list item.   I will be engaged in this until Saturn’s Day and then on March 31st the new stuff kicks off in full.  Not having the time to do some proper research for the Bible Problems post that is supposed to fall this week, I decided to talk about something more spiritual and personal instead.

The people in my life do not understand the change of my beliefs and some of them are the closest to me.  To them this change has been sudden and only now are some of them starting to get used to the idea but they still don’t understand it. Trying to rebuild one’s spirituality in this environment is not difficult, just often misunderstood because to others it was sudden but to me it has been long in coming.  This is a decision I agonized over for a long time. One that has placed me in a position of rebuilding my spirituality after taking a sledgehammer (metaphorically speaking) to what i had built during my time as a Christian.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I consider myself a spiritual person still.  There is part of humanity that one cannot put into a purely rational box no matter how much you try.   The thing I have thrown off is religion.  I have however not thrown off ‘faith’.  Like it or not everyone has faith is something. Something they cannot rationally prove but still live their life by.  Atheists deny this but if they were to go through their philosophy and principles they live by my guess is somewhere they would have to admit they go forward with without any proof – yet. They would contend they believe proof will be found eventually but it just hasn’t been found yet.  That’s faith no matter how much you shake and dance.

I am not going to deny I have faith in stuff I can’t prove.  I recognize my ignorance and ignorance is going to lead to some things you are going to take on faith because you have no choice or the alternative is to simply exist without progress.  I take that there is a part of human beings that is spiritual on faith, because I cannot see a scientific or rational answer for some things – yet.

Religion:

The one thing I have discarded is religion.  I recognize two forces that pass themselves off as good but are in reality evil as fuck. Government and Religion. With government I recognize there is a necessary evil that must be engaged because people are inherently tribal.  Religion I can’t find to many uses for anymore. It is by its nature, controlling and manipulative. It sells you something that you don’t even need to solve a problem you don’t actually have. It has all the morality of the huckster selling snake oil and has the same objective.

It disguises greed, lust and manipulation as industry, love and care.  It calls you to dwell in ignorance so you can preserve your faith. Never question things because if you did you might realize the ‘holy men’ are taking you for a ride. Cleaver, as perhaps if you lose your ignorance you might see that it is harming you far more than helping you. I refuse to engage a system of belief anymore that sees to tell me what THE TRUTH is; as I find, truth is not something that is always easy to find or black and white anymore. I have no use for religion in rebuilding my spirituality, as it is probably is in reality one of the most spiritually destructive forces there is.

Theology:

Whatever the divine might be, I now reserve the right to question its justice, mercy or decisions. I think the Norse attitude toward the gods is probably mine.  The Norse gods are not interested in worship.  They are interested in a life well lived.  Mans approach to them is not to fawn or fall on one’s knees, but to stand bravely.  They don’t want the devotion, but just respect for their power.  Theologically, it seems if the divine is our parent, like a good parent it would want us to grow up and stand on our own and teach our descendants to do the same.

Spirituality:

This last year has been both a cubicle and a flood of challenges. I am starting to put some of the things I did last year at this time in the category of ‘more than a year ago’.  By the time summer is over all of it will be there. This flood and fire I have been going through has cause the storm to rage at times and my scars to burn with pain; but in all of that, I feel like I am being reborn.  I am becoming something greater than I was, something stronger.  I no longer bow, I stand.  I no longer need the crutch that is religion and I am done with its snake oil spirituality.

Conclusion:

 

I used to be a tiger and lion person.  Strong animal images but both perform in the circus. But these days the wolves and ravens are more my speed. Not as strong but wild and free. You can put thme in cages but they will never be tame. I find that both light and darkness are not to be feared but used.  I feed both wolves (Need and Want) and both ravens (Reason and Wisdom). I no longer see myself as sinner or saint – just a man rebuilding and discovering his true self. In that I find my spiritual rebirth and growth.  I am Grey.  An old scared grey wolf if you will.  I have a pack but it is small, but then again I know what I bring to the table, so I am not afraid to fight or eat alone either.

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Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 8 – “I’m OK” and What that Means

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

I have a Of Wolves and Ravens post in the incubator but I am so focused on the realignment I am doing that I don’t want to rush it and fuck it up have it not be as good as it could be. I will post it next week but this week I have the time and the emotional state where writing The Grey and the Wayfarer’s latest installment.

“I’m OK.”

If anyone has ever dealt with depression or someone who thy love who is depressed; you know this two-word phrase (when people ask how you or they are) is one of the most challenging to decipher.  Sometimes the person is genuinely OK and they are telling you that.  Other times the non-verbal cues would tell you otherwise and you should listen to them and not the words.  Non-verbal communication rarely lies.  If you’re talking on the phone with someone with depression, you really have to rely on tone of voice, losing the non-verbal by not looking at them leaves you in the dark a lot.

There are probably two people in the world right now that will notice a short pause before I answer them when they ask – “How are you?”  That’s because with them, I have made a commitment to be absolutely honest.  That pause is me giving my soul a quick look and asking what the truth is.  If I say “I’m OK” to them, it true.  Everyone else, it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s…..  Well, I hope you understand.

That said, even when I say ‘I’m OK’ and am truthful about it, what does that mean? Well, I am not great.  I am also not depressed.  It’s really a state of emotional functionality.  I am broken but I can function. I can actually do pretty well, it is just I feel at times I am just marking time from one thing to the next.  Just existing.  I feel emotions, but it is a low-level emotion that is a combination at times of sadness/ joy and pain/triumph.  The best way to describe it is that my emotional lights flicker.  It’s like spring or fall between the seasons. It’s like the electrical system of my emotions has a short in it.

Doesn’t mean there is something wrong, but nothing is right either. ‘I’m OK’ is probably the best way to put it.

The cause of this is not so much I am wired wrong.  Probably the opposite actually.  I am highly wired and hard-wired and so like all things complicated – things go wrong easily and frequently:

1) I am emphatic.  I pick up people’s emotions and I find myself feeling what they feel.  You think that is great?  Try being a pastor for twenty years dealing with everyone shit negative emotional states all the time.  It’s drives you to introversion, trust me.

2) I don’t stop thinking.  From the moment I wake up until I go to bed, my mind is working. It’s fine when I have a problem to solve or something to think about.  It’s when I am bored or there is nothing to do that this really begins to lead you down some dark lines of thinking.

3) I have a near photographic memory for verbal conversations.  It’s contextual thankfully. I have to be in the place or similar place the conversation took place most of the time, but if I concentrate hard enough I can still pull it off.  It’s why I am glad I don’t live where I used to live or have to go to the church I used pastor.  Far too painful from the memory flood.  I have a hard enough time meeting people I used to know.  Yeah, that is enough of a trigger.  It’s why I really need a fresh start somewhere else still.

The cause of all this is of course wounds received at my own hand and the hand of others.  This time of year last year, I was forming a very tight relationship with someone.  My fault and hers that we ended up being closer than we should have been. I don’t really blame her or me anymore.  It happened, and assigning blame only really helps those who want to lie to themselves, so they can look themselves in the mirror. Or to look at me or the girl in the face again and still love us. Comforting lies don’t really help though. Just saying. We would all be better off facing the painful truth.

In one sense I look at my scars as the cause of this flickering emotion. Not so much the scars, as I wrote in my poem “The Scar”, but the seeping poison of a bleeding wound behind the scar – internal pain.  But I also know some of the deepest and still internally bleeding wounds were self-inflicted.  The ‘you’ in that poem has a lot of candidates, including myself.

I’m OK and I’m Broken at the same time. I wish there was some magical way to ‘get over it’ like people say at times.  But there isn’t.  I’m OK and I have to be OK with that.  I have to function despite the flicker lights and I do.  I have to for the sake of people I love and care for.  I have to love them when I don’t feel love and I have to love myself as well even when I don’t feel it.  I have to be OK, because sometimes its the best I have.

OK in The Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Truth

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

As I wrap up this realignment process and head into the final week, there still remains a lot to be done. This week I have to realign Truth, Hospitality and Fidelity.  Some of the tougher ones and the problem at this point is that there is not enough left on the bucket list or my list of goals and so some thing are going to have to be created along those lines.

In addition, my Morning, Daily and Weekly Routines need to be modified so that there are things on them that work toward achieving my goals and advancing toward crossing things off the bucket list.  I have made the decision to drop the Evening Routine. All I will basically do in the evening is brush my teeth and go to bed. Some of the things on it will be moved to the other Routines. I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post on Saturday to talk about the Routines specifically to handle that.

Things kick off on the 31st of this month so it is crunch time.

Truth is one of the virtues that has been troubling and difficult this past year. I have pretty passive about it as basically my principle was to simply pursue truth and discover it.  But this is not the focus of the virtue.  Rather it is about proclamation.  Something that as a former preacher I understand better than most. So time to change a few things.

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

The virtue as always is not the problem.  It’s application of it that is the problem.

Principle: To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

I use the word ‘Speak’ in the broadest sense of the word. To communicate with effectiveness has been a large challenge I have accepted in most areas of my life.  Effective communication is here but what is communicated is Truth. The form of communication does not matter – written, oral or other.  The issue is Truth being communicated effectively.  There is also learning when to be Silent.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

This goal is still probably not specific enough so I may further refine it a bit later.  The point is if I am going to proclaim truth on a larger level; than I have been recently, I need a platform to proclaim it from.  I am no longer a preacher but maybe down the road being a motivational speaker or life coach, but until then I need to know what my message is going to be and the focus of this first non-fiction book may very well be creating that message.  Starting now on a year-long process to create and discover this by writing a book might be the best way forward.

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Trying to add some sense of SMART to my bucket list items as well.  The biggest things I need in my life it seems are deadlines.  They keep me moving.  I haven’t dropped learning Hungarian just delayed it a year.  I will probably work on that 2020 to 2021 as my planned trip to Budapest will probably not be for a few years. This Bucket List Item may always be learning a language or a skill I want to just learn.  After Latin and Hungarian I might want to learn cooking or something.  These are the kind of Bucket List items that fit truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Just so people know when this post drops the blog streak will be nearing the half way point.  Yesterday the 200th post dropped on this blog. I would say we have gotten past the start and infant stage.

I really feel Honor is something I can now achieve and this realignment has really help me have a better sense of vision for my life which will lead to a better sense of being positive about my future. Which lead to a better sense of Honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This Virtue now keeps me focused on the hard issues of achieving my goals.  It forces me to act and pursue them. That’s a good thing.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Last summer  was writing a blog called The Rabyd Microphone.  Don’t look for it. It’s been deleted.  The one thing about that blog that I absolutely insisted on was it was going to be raw truth.  People didn’t like it because there was one element about truth that I have now come to understand – If people are fools or don’t want to accept it – they will just get angry. So this blog is also committed to truth.  There is one difference, I now ask myself what good will done by stating the Truth and who will listen? In short, is my potential audience fools? If so, then I just keep some things to myself.

I like the changes here – gives me some things to shoot for.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth – Love in action.  I just need to identify what is worthy of my  love and act accordingly and things go right. When I don’t, things go wrong.  In know that seems overly simple, but it works.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I will be doing a special post on Saturday where my Routines will be Realigned according to all these changes.  The goal there is to take each bucket list item and goal and ask what part of any routine is working toward it. This really the final part of the overall realignment.  This means even though this Routine works the best, it might have some changes as far as addition.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Skald Tales and Poems – Poem – ‘The Storm’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Sorry, once again no Crossing Bifrost this week. I am still reading a lot on Norse Mythology right now and next week I will take on the goddess Frigg.  For this week, it is time I took two poems I have written this month and make them blogging canon. This one will drop now and the second one later this afternoon.

“The Storm” by Edward W. Raby, Sr.:

Wind, grey skies and pouring rain.

The Storm rages in my soul.

Fed by my inner pain.

Will I ever be whole?

 

Lightning flashes

Thunder rolls

I tighten my grip on the staff of my reality

Knowing only the treading of my feet

 

Boots grinding through grey mud

Soaked in sorrow, but my heart closed

Numb to the cold of The Grey

I struggle onward, not daring to feel

 

Lest my tears join the flood

And drown me in the rising tide.

I walk with the hope of seeing sunlight

I walk with the hope of feeling love

 

But right now, I feel nothing

So I will survive.

Soon, the wolf within will rise and howl

The ravens will caw again

 

For I know when the light breaks through.

Then I will howl, caw and laugh,

Once again I have endured The Storm

And I have become stronger

Written by Edward W, Raby, Sr. on March 9th and 10th, 2019. Edited on March 22, 2019

Author’s Commentary:

I guess this poem about depression; and how I take it on, is one of those that is very obvious.  The imagery in part is borrowed from this whole Grey Wayfarer concept.  I draw a lot of inspiration these days from the characters and stories of Norse Mythology. I like these gods – they have dirt under their fingernails and pain of soul.

People do not understand depression that well.  Mine is ‘mild’, if you can call depression mild.  It isn’t about happy or sad with me.  It is about emotional shutdown.  I go into cold-blooded bastard mode so I don’t have to feel sorrow or pain.  The sarcastic asshole is very much a part of both sides of my life, but in The Grey I don’t laugh at my own sarcasm like I do out of it. “No dark sarcasm in the classroom.” Yeah, it gets dark and there is no feeling to it. Outside the grey it more about being playfully affectionate with the people I care about.  Inside it, I am just being a dark fucker trying to survive.

The love-hate relationship with depression is something I tried to deal with the last stanza.  Like or not, when come out of it, I have some of the most creative and wonderful inspired moments.  I feel better, love better and think better in those moments. Some of my best writing has been at these times.

Thanks for reading,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Courage

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

There will be a The Rabyd Skald Birthday post dropped at 12:39 pm today – I have my reasons for that time as I will talk about later. Right now I will doing what needs to be done for the week as I continue my realignment.

I spent the weekend thinking about this realignment a lot. One of the things that is clear to me is that when I discuss a virtues nature and principle. I also need it discuss the goal and bucket list item associated with it as well. Because both my goals and bucket list are in full revision mode, I can do this very easily now by tweaking my journal entries in A Skald’s Life very easily.

What this means on a practical side is in each A Skald’s Life post when i get to the virtues I will now add the Goal associated with that virtue and then the bucket list item so all four things can be discussed at that point.  By keeping them together I can look at the bigger picture of each virtue.

This weeks virtues are Courage, Industriousness and Perseverance.  I have feelings about each of these and in truth, most of it is positive.   For most of this week it is goals becoming SMART and bucket list items becoming aligned. I am trying to get off to a great start to my 51st year of life, so I am trying to make this a complete week.

On to Dealing with Courage’s Realignment

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

I have always admired the brevity of this one and how quickly it sums up what is needed – good stuff

Principle: Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here.  I like it and I think it does the job.  In moments when courage is needed you need a principle that doesn’t require a lot of meditation or thought and this does that with good results so far.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

I need something that motivates me forward.  This goal is something I wanted to keep on my goal list so the bucket list gets constantly accomplished. So that it has items crossed off on a regular basis.  Courage required to do that.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I find travel requires a little courage, international travel more so because you are facing language and cultural barriers. It definitely takes you out of your comfort zone. I think the complete package for me on this one is to do a Viking River cruise down the Danube River to Budapest.  Stay there a week and then return up the river and back home.  It would be a great adventure and something that is a reward for and an act of courage in and of itself.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When I look at the whole thing right now I see what I am driving at with honor. It is a feeling for me of self-worth and future optimism.  All of this seems to flow much better now that I see it together.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The big stuff is here.  The stuff that will require major amounts of courage.  I like that and it is a good big picture.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I have a feeling the Principle on this one will get rewritten.  Goal might be clear and the bucket list too.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find it amazing to me that as I look at it how much travel factors into my plans. I love to travel, I just don’t have the means most of the time.  I also think much of love is expressed in what you travel too and who you travel with. It also fits that The Grey Wayfarer’s foundational ideas are travel after all.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Doing well here. I said it before – it isn’t broke, so I am not going to fix it.

Bucket List:

  1. Get My Tattoos.
  2. Write My Novel.
  3. Learn Latin.
  4. Learn Hungarian.
  5. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Yes, it is getting shorter.  As I incorporate these things into the virtues and full bucket list is going to disappear.  I think lists are valuable but I don’t think the bucket list gets properly addressed for me this way.

I know the tattoos one will be modified and connected with Perseverance later this week. Languages will be combined and put with Truth – maybe. Novel – hmm.  Need to think on what is left but perhaps Industriousness.  The weightlifting thing I may drop because I am not a power lifter.  I think something else might be needed, so opening up a slot helps with that.

Weightlifting:

This will be the last time you see this here.  I will be moving it to Self to be with Perseverance and my exercise program will have weightlifting as part of it. I need to find a way to turn this from frustration to success and I think moving it and strongly connecting it to a virtue will help with that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Honor

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The next three weeks are about aligning my virtues to principles; principles to goals and goals to bucket list.  Also there are the Routines that will need to be altered as I go along to reflect any changes.  There are going to be changes. So for the next nine A Skald’s Life posts, I am going to be engaged in this process of realignment. To do this I am going to state the Virtue and the edit the principle involved, then edit, recreate or create the goal and bucket list items that go with the virtue and principle.

Once this process is complete for each virtue, you should see the changes reflected in the future A Skald’s Life posts.  I also have Routines to alter as a go along which will reflect this.  My meditation guide I use will be changed.  There are odd ducks like Weightlifting and Nutrition.  This is why I chose a longer and more thoughtful route. If only the first Virtue wasn’t one of the most difficult. Honor.

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

I will not alter this virtue as I think it is very solidly written and I have no confusion in understanding it. As I created the principle to guide this last time, the challenge was thinking positively about myself and my future.  I simply stated the Principle as: “Be positive about my future”.  I am not sure this lines up anymore.  True, honor involves looking at yourself in the mirror in a positive light but there is more to it than just being positive but it is central to honor. The goal needs to reflect this as well as the bucket list item.

Principle: To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

I look at the goal list and really I can’t find anything that relates directly to honor.  Other than to look at the goal of blogging every day for a year. Why?  Because as I look at the central element of honor it is to possess it continually and that involves a journey and this blog is about my journey as The Grey Wayfarer.  It is the closest of the current goals without rewriting them.  I suppose in many respects this journey I am on has Honor as central to it purpose.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

One of the first observations I can make about my bucket list is there is some repetition. Part of the goal will be to edit it in such a way as to eliminate that.  That said, if the journey is about honor then there is a current item on my list that fits and would not only be a cool thing to do but quite symbolic as well.

Bucket List Item: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

If part of my quest for honor is the journey then a bucket list item that is about a journey seems to fit and would probably when I do it be very symbolic of getting to a certain point where I feel honor is being achieved.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others. ‘

The principle is a little longer but it is the complicated subject of honor. My constant journey toward it is chronicled in this blog and the bucket list item now has a goal that is symbolic and something I really want to do. No when i meditate on Honor, the goal and bucket list item will motivate me a little better.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Of all my virtues and principles, I feel when I get to this one, I will find I will edit this one the least. The concern here is the goal and bucket list.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I think the principle here will need a major revision. The goal might be clearer as well as the bucket list item actually unless the revision of the Principle changes it.  For me educating yourself whether formally or informally is about the quest for truth. So right now it might be about finishing my degree and learning a language. Learning a language might fit here as it is symbolic of education and learning truth.  Latin would probably fit best the notion of being a scholar and symbolize this Virtue the best.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth all need to be aligned with love.  But in this case by pursuing these three, I think love will be woven like a tapestry from these three threads. There is a symbiotic relationship I am looking for her where love is expressed in Honor toward myself, acts of Courage for the ones I love and Truth toward others. This new alignment should make the higher virtue of Love clearer and more easily expressed.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I don’t anticipate any changes here at all.  Except as the Principles, Goals and Bucket List change, my review and meditation will shift in focus and nature.

Bucket List:

  1. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  2. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  3. Get My Tattoos.
  4. Actually Get Drunk.
  5. Smoke a Joint.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Ass March goes on, I will change this every week. Mostly you will see items shift position to line up with their virtue as the hike goal is now number 1.  As I said before, I see some repetition of idea.  Learning Latin and Hungarian could be merged.  Getting Drunk and Smoking a Joint could be merged.   This would open it up for a few new items and that requires me to sit back and ask: “What do I want to do?”  This might be the fun element of this realignment and it is probably the thing that excites me most about this process right now.

Weightlifting:

I need to get a job that pays better so that I can know where I am going to be for the foreseeable future so I can join a gym and afford it.  In the meantime, I am thinking a couple 25 lbs. dumbbells might be a good investment as I can do a lot of things with them at home.  Walking is going to be available as Spring actually springs too. The thought of getting physically active again excites me and I know is one of my major defenses against The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Reworking the Script

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have spent from February 22nd to March 2nd off script.  What that means is I didn’t use my paper journal to keep track of things or remind myself of the things I need to do each day and for the week. I did it on purpose, knowing I would come off of it on March 3rd.  The purpose was to see what is habit in my life,what needs work and what things would simply not get done without the script. I have done this several times in my life and I find the truest test if something has become a habit, is that you don’t need a reminder to do it.

The ultimate purpose is to look at everything and then rework the script in such a way as to be more effective and efficient in achieving my goals.  To find the weaknesses and use my discovered strengths to achieve them.  To find ways, to get more things done with less time.  Mostly though it is a test of character to see how much laziness and procrastination needs to be overcome.

March is my birthday month and in our family we tend to kind of get excited about all the birthdays that month and we have three in the immediate family (My granddaughter, myself and my mother).  There is also the concept of the birthday week where people can up to the time of a person’s birthday for a week and do whatever to let them know how much they are loved and celebrate it. It is not uncommon for their to be more than one party especially for the kids. Then of course there is the birthday itself. The person in my mind basically gets to do what they want (within reason as you are still not allowed to be an asshole or bitch) and gets to enjoy what they enjoy that day.

For me this is a particularity interesting month and my birthday will be number 50.  I always have a little harder time with those birthdays where there is a zero on the end of double digits. This affects my reworking the script in the sense that I have this feeling of change and direction shift that needs to be addressed. So this entire month is reevaluation of Goals, Bucket List, Principles, Routines and Life in general.  I do this regularly, but this Month of March 2019 seems particularly like a critical moment in time for me. It is time to revise and refine the script of my life and make it work better.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

One of the things I will be revising is each principle following each virtue.  I will at least be reconsidering it.  I created all these principle in haste out of necessity, and I think they deserve some real contemplative time.   Some of them are going to stay the same, but I want to be open to changing them.  I want to be open to the notion of realigning everything so it is more efficient.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Change is always difficult, but also if there is one constant to the universe, it is that it is constantly changing.  Wisdom says it is wise to change and adapt to it. Courage is needed to do so.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

This is one virtue and principle that don’t seem to line up as well as they could.  The problem with this one is to keep the principle short and to the point while at the same time encapsulating the essence of the virtue.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have thought about giving principles to these higher virtues but I think I reject that notion because I think Love, Justice and wisdom are far to deep concepts to define them to that point.  I just want to sit down when I write these journal posts withe the single word in my mind and then write.  All of them are multifaceted gems and so trying to sharpen them I feel would make them less than what they are.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I really don’t see the need to change this routine.  It works and it is the most consistent I have. ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, was one of my father’s favorite sayings.  The Morning Routine definitely fits that very well.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This concept of realignment is coming up often in my thoughts.  The Bucket list is one of those things that might see a realignment.  What I mean by this is that each Virtue will have a principle, a goal and a bucket list item that are all aligned.  That all follow the same theme as the virtue. That way I don’t have goals and bucket list items that pull me off-center. Yes, this might be a cause to revise or change some of them, but I don’t have a problem with that, if things start coming off this list more often. If things work from virtue to principle to goal to bucket list, that is efficient and kind of the point of the whole thing in the first place.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting is a powerful desire right now and I know that I need to either get a new job where a gym is a possibility, or start working on some home equipment I can actually store in my apartment. I just need to find a way to prevent going soft until things get better.  I also think part of my anger issues these days is caused by the fact I have no real outlet for that energy.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:4 – ‘People Have the Right to Pursue Happiness’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Pursue Happiness” – The Book of Rabyd 1:4

Thoughts and Exposition:

Will Smith has a great line in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”.  He centers on the idea of how the founding fathers has enough wisdom to put in the word ‘pursuit’.  This is what is often forgotten in this right.  You do not have the right to be happy.  You do have the right to pursue what will make you happy or what you think will make you happy.  It does not include a safety net where the government bails you out if you fail.

I suppose it should be argued at this point that this right is equal to the other two already stated of life and liberty.  The issue here is that some people will be champion of people’s life and liberty but then will involve themselves in the affairs of others in such a way as to either meddle or try to restrict other’s pursuit of happiness by law or ordinance.  They think they know what would make others happy and try to use force or influence to make it so.

Truthfully, the respect for this right in others is the biggest litmus test of whether you genuinely treat people as human beings or objects.  The person who can see what would be better for someone else but does not act because he or she respects that person’s right to pursue their own happiness is a person who also is seeing them as a human being, not as something to manipulate.

I have been using the abortion debate throughout this discussion so I will use it again here.  The conflict is simple I think because a woman might argue that having a child would not be in line with her pursuit of happiness.  The counter argument then comes that you are violating the child or fetus’ right to live.  If we are truly seeing the two rights as equals then we are pretty much left in a stalemate and so the issue falls to other things.  The right to happiness doesn’t really help us here either because we could make an argument for both sides for happiness.

In abortion we have a conflict of rights but the question is which right has superiority over others.  If we give certain rights superiority over others then how can we say we are treating them all equally?  Some other factor, must come into play to settle this quandary and it may be Rabyd 1:5 which we will talk about in the next week.

For me personally this is why I try to conduct myself (and I hope my family conducts themselves with the idea as well) of not meddling in other people’s affairs.  If we do feel we have a better way for people to live that might aid them in their pursuit of happiness; we do not force the issue, but attempt to persuade people to that end.  Our goal is not to meddle, but we will certainly act in compassion if we see a need and react if asked to help.

Part of respecting the pursuit of happiness is respecting the need for people to struggle through that issue on their own.  To impose my view of what would make them happy on them would be wrong.  It is wrong because it does not recognize the other person’s humanity or their right to pursuit what they believe will make them happy.

One thing needs to be said here.  People who achieve happiness are often ones who find out the pursuit of it involves letting other be happy.  The one great obstacle to our pursuit is think other people need to live up to our standards of what they should do and be. When they don’t do this, then disappointment leads to unhappiness.  Part of being happy and pursuing it is learning a) You will not find it in others and b) You will never be happy as long as you are trying to impose your view of it on others.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:4 – “People Have the Right to Pursue Happiness”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Never Give Up – Motivational Video

I don’t normally post motivational videos but I do listen to them from time to time.  I think I might consider creating a morning playlist as I write.  This might be the one to kick it off.

Poem: ‘Go Get it’ – Will Smith – From the movie The Pursuit of Happiness.
See the source image
Meditation:

No photo description available.

Song of Preparation: “Happy” – Pharrell Williams

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Pursuit  Happiness” – The Book of Rabyd 1:4

Sermon:

Will Smith has a great line in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”.  He centers on the idea of how the founding fathers has enough wisdom to put in the word ‘pursuit’.  This is what is often forgotten in this right.  You do not have the right to be happy.  You do have the right to pursue what will make you happy or what you think will make you happy.  It does not include a safety net where the government bails you out if you fail.

I suppose it should be argued at this point that this right is equal to the other two already stated of life and liberty.  The issue here is that some people will be champion of people’s life and liberty, but then involve themselves in the affairs of others in such a way as to either meddle or try to restrict other’s pursuit of happiness by law or ordinance.  They think they know what would make others happy and try to use force or influence to make it so.

Truthfully, the respect for this right in others is the biggest litmus test of whether you genuinely treat people as human beings or objects.  The person who can see what would be better for someone else but does not act because he or she respects that person’s right to pursue their own happiness is a person who also is seeing them as a human being, not as something to manipulate.

I have been using the abortion debate throughout this discussion so I will use it again here.  The conflict is simple I think because a woman might argue that having a child would not be in line with her pursuit of happiness.  The counter argument then comes that you are violating the child or fetus’ right to live.  On the front of pursuit of happiness both have this right and so we are still at draw.

If we are truly seeing the two rights as equals then we are pretty much left in a stalemate and so the issue falls to other things.  In abortion, we have a conflict of rights but the question is which right has superiority over others.  If we give certain rights superiority over others then how can we say we are treating them all equally?  Some other factor, must come into play to settle this quandary, and it may be Rabyd 1:5 which we will talk about in the next week.

For me personally this is why I try to conduct myself (and I hope my family conducts themselves with the idea as well) of not meddling in other people’s affairs.  If we do feel we have a better way for people to live that might aid them in their pursuit of happiness; we do not force the issue, but attempt to persuade people to that end.  Our goal is not to meddle, but we will certainly act in compassion if we see a need and react if asked to help.  Part of respecting the pursuit of happiness is respecting the need for people to struggle through that issue on their own.  To impose my view of what I think would make them happy on them would be wrong.  It is wrong because it does not recognize the other person’s humanity or their right to pursuit what they believe will make them happy.

Closing Song: “Tacky” – Weird Al Yankovic

Having a little fun to end it.  Weird Al in a classic.  Have a laugh and pursuit what you feel will make you happy.  It is your right.

Parting Thought: 

Image may contain: one or more people and text

A crude statement I suppose, but true. In your pursuit of happiness – be careful to not be drawn into things that will get you off the path.  For instance, by giving a fuck about certain people who you suspect don’t give as much a fuck about you as you do them. Just keep walking toward your happiness.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Races and Creatures – Giants

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I suppose the imagery of a giant is pretty universal but as we will see there is a controversy about it when it comes to Norse Mythology. Giants are the primary antagonists in most of the stories of the gods in Norse mythology.  The frost giants take prominence but there are also other types of giants.  Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition’s Monster Manual lists six types of giants – Cloud, Fire, Frost, Hill, Stone and Storm.  It might be argued that all of these have some  from ideas found in Norse mythology.

See the source image

But the question starts pretty early as regards if the Norse people actually conceived these giants as ‘giants’.  The problem is one of translation and when Christians began to translate the word for ‘giant’ they may have bastardized it by adding the Greek mythology concepts and used the word for ‘giant’ that reflected this change.  What you see then is a mutation of the original Norse Idea and the Greek idea of titans.

See the source image

The original concept in the Norse may simply have been beings that represented the forces of Chaos. When you look at some of the giants you get that – Storm, Fire, Frost, Hills, Stone and Clouds are forces of nature that are both large and powerful.  Both needed for survival, but also feared because of their destructive nature at times.  The “giants” are simply personification of these forces.  They may or may not have been large humanoids to the Norse people.  It would make more sense if they were not.

See the source image

The reason I say it would make more sense if they were not, is  the simple fact that the gods and goddesses mate with giants and produce offspring. Sex between two individuals of great difference in size becomes problematic, unless the Norse people didn’t really have the concept of giants being large humanoids but rather simple humanoids that personified certain powerful natural forces.  To the Norse people the gods and the giants may simply been the same size just representing on the one hand forces of order and civilization (the gods), and on the other, the raw natural forces of the world (the ‘giants’).

What I am saying is that the whole notion of these ‘giants’ being large humanoid like creatures might be a later addition.  This would explain why later writers had to give some of the gods the ability to shape shift and change size.  But the original myths may not have had this at all. The my simply have been referring to ‘giants’ as those being who represented the great powers of nature.

See the source image

To me this makes the parings of some of the gods and giants interesting because it represents symbolically the need for the forces of civilization and humanity, if you will, to sometimes cooperate and draw strength from the chaotic forces of nature.  That sometimes the ‘children’ of these paring represent both sides of that equation such as Loki pairings with the giantess that produced Fenrir, Hel,  and Jormungandr.  All of these Children have their chaotic element but there is also the ability to think and speak beyond the base animal that they represent in the case of Fenrir and Jormungandr. Hel herself is human like but represents that primal force of Death, but also her realm is orderly and well thought out.

It is why in Norse mythology all of the gods and giants are the product of a an original giant.  That out of the primal forces of nature came the forces of order and chaos. Both are necessary and both can be in conflict or in love (lust) for each other.  To me it speaks of how the Norse people could recognize that; in all things, some necessary things were present. Fire is a primal natural force that is dangerous; but without it, civilization and technology is simply not possible. The earth and hills can be wild and dangerous places; but without the earth we mine and the trees we cut down, we would not have tools or shelter. The mythology reflects this idea of necessary harmony, even tough at times those forces are a threat to each other.

See the source image

In our world the giants represent much the same.  Large chaotic forces that must be fought and overcome. The show up in a lot of places in fantasy mythology.  But the idea of being primal natural forces is pretty interesting and we see that too.  For me though I prefer if the giants remain as the larger than life humanoids. It just makes the battles more epic. Courage is a necessary thing when facing them. Every movie or book that uses them reflects this.  Or on rare occasions we find a giant that is actually gentle who desires to help but his great power can unintentionally cause harm.  Thus even when we bend such forces to our will, there is still a danger because of their nature.

All important lessons taught to us through the giants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!