Courage

“Love Hurts” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

The one thing when you are young they never really seem to tell you is how much love hurts.  It almost seems like everyone else who has felt this simply waits until you experience love hurting before they talk to you about it.  It’s like you simply can’t relate or understand until it happens. They are probably right.

I never have felt something so wonderful as love and at the same time so devastating as when it is gone as love. I should probably clarify, what is devastating is loving someone else but them not feeling the same in return. The lack of reciprocity of love is the hard part and what makes it hard is your love for the other person is still there.  Full strength kick in the balls doesn’t; begin to describe the emotional pain here.

So why do we do it?  Because on the flip side, there is nothing that will make you motivated to move mountains and try to conquer the world for someone like love. The moments I have felt the best in my life have been when I have been in love and knew the other person loved me. But I now recognize this is not enough.  Love without honor, courage, and truth will fail too.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

My need is for love with all these qualities is pretty high.  I have very high expectations from love because it has taken me to great heights.  Perhaps I am being romantic about it but my need for love is the kind of love that is openly honest and takes risks because the reward for those risks is so high. The greatest risk I think at times is to love yourself but also the most needed.  It is the one need I feel is the most unmet in my life.

Wants (Freki):

I want to feel as good loving myself as I do when I love another. I don’t; recall this being a thing too often in my life. But when it has been there, I have been better than ever.  Add it to a time when I have loved another and those are the moments of my life so rare that count them as my greatest moments.

Reason (Huginn):

I suppose someone will call out the cold side of reason when it comes to love, but I don’t work that way. Considering love rationally, one needs to find those moments of a love of self and another to the point they happen more often.  Rationally these are the mountaintops of life.  I jsut have never been able to find them rationally.  I have to follow my instincts and my heart but I don’t trust people enough to do this.  I trust my instincts, it is just people who have a way of being unfaithful in the end that my instincts and empathy seem to miss.  I assume truth instead of lies.  I assume courage instead of cowardice. I assume honor instead of dishonor. It is these assumptions that have made me look like an ass more than once. No matter how rational I try to be, when I am in love and feel love, my brain takes a holiday and I assume the best and often get the worst.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I question my wisdom when it comes to love all the time. Give me a problem to solve and I am there in full force.  Give me a feeling like love to sort out and I find myself whimpering in the corner more often than not. Wisdom strives for balance and I can never seem to find it. io am all in or all out when it comes to love. There seem to be no in-between stages or degrees.  Love, therefore makes me a fool.  EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

Conclusion:

I wish I had something more positive to say.  I love to be in love but the downside causes me to shy away. To play it safe.  But that doesn’t; help me and it certainly leads to a life that hurts in other ways. I want to break this cycle.  I am just unsure as to how to do it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Last Week of Open Discussion – Part 1” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

Wow. Amazing sometimes how an image will trigger shit.  This microphone image, for instance, triggers a time where one of my old now-deleted blogs was my forum and it was probably my most popular blog, mostly because it was so raw. The Rabyd Microphone will live in my memory as a time where I was hurting very badly and let everyone know it. I seem better now, but at the same time, I have toned it down a bit which means I keep some things in, which is not good. Something I am going to write on for tomorrow’s Odin’s Eye.

Looking at the calendar, I want to time my routine discussion for the last full week of March before I launch some new goals and change some of my bucket lists. Because of this, I have this week as more of an open discussion on what the changes might be before I begin the more detailed ones starting next week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I see no need to change the virtue or its principle here.  That has never been the struggle with honor.  Honor itself is a struggle of high difficulty all its own. it is having that feeling of value in yourself and recognizing it in others that is the challenge.  This has always been about being honorable by habit.

My goal here was to blog each day for a whole year with the desire that the blog would be an honorable expression of my life and goal achieved but now I continue the streak and we passed 500 days a long time ago. Now, I look for a goal that allows me to start honoring my commitments to myself. So now the issue is moving from being a blogger to a committed writer.  This is a commitment I want to honor to myself. What that goal will specifically be I don’t know quite yet, but it will involve honoring myself by being committed to being what I want to be.

The bucket list item will remain as it is.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Honestly, I don’t see any changes here at all.  I want to keep the crossing one thing off my bucket list every year thing anyway and it is a goal that reflects courage.  The only question I have for next year is whether to up the stakes and make it crossing off two things instead of one.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

Once again the Virtue and the Principle are solid.  The goal is probably the one that will not happen because I really need to change this to reflect more of a writing habit than a specific end goal.  Or that the end goal is to have a habit of writing.  if I focus both my goals in Honor and Truth to this end I might see better results.  The bucket list item is already behind by a few books because I have trouble with my routines.  Not that they are bad routines or take a long time.  It is just right now my battle with my depression triggers is a losing one.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I know what I need to do right now, my depression is keeping me from doing it because I am once again in this battle between doing what is best for myself and what will not hurt others. I don’t like hurting others because it depresses me, but if I don’t act soon in love toward myself, that will continue to depress me.  The solution is to make the decision to love me and then walk through the emotions of others because that is the quickest and easiest way to feeling better overall.  I just hesitate every goddam time. I don’t like making others uncomfortable. I feel that shit and I don’t want to feel it.  But I also don’t like feeling like shit because I am not doing what I want to do either. One of these has to give or the problem will continue.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation – 5 min.
  4. Check Communications and Email.
  5. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  6. Work Days: Dress in Gym Clothes: Go to Gym – Weightlifting / Exercise
  7. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Get Dressed for the Day
  8. Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  9. Rest Days – Morning Walk (weather permitting)

Like I said – this routine is good and would help me battle my depression. I just need more of the Virtue of Discipline in my life. right now and get past my feeling on it.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Slaying God” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I love the sentiment of killing gods when it comes to Star Trek’s Lt. Worf and the Klingons, in general. ‘They were more trouble than they were worth.” is one of the best lines in the whole thing. The idea of killing gods seems far fetched until you realize that the battle isn’t against all-powerful beings of various types or a single omnipotent one, but rather these gods only exist in our minds.  It is simply the process of getting rid of those imaginary beings from the way we think and views the universe.

I am still going through this process.  We tend to use the divine to fill the gaps in our knowledge.  As an atheist will tell you though those gaps are getting smaller and smaller. It is also a famous fallacy of logic to say ‘if I don’t know or understand something, therefore god.”

The god of the gaps fallacy is well documented as just because there isn’t an answer yet or something seems mysterious, that doesn’t mean the explanation fo ‘god or gods’ doesn’t have to prove itself as well. God as an explanation for anything still should be subjected to the same scrutiny as everything else that offers up a solution and not just automatically given a nod simply because it seems at the time to offer the only explanation.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

My own mind is still dominated at times by theistic thinking.  I find that this is the longest part of the deconversion process, coming to terms with the fact that I cannot assume god after so long assuming his existence.  It begins to permeate your life how many times the ‘god of the gaps’ fallacy is employed to provide a form of lazy answers and lazy morality.  My current state requires that every moral issue and every question now requires investigation rather than the assumption of the divine is a long work in process. My meditation time seems to focus here a lot.

Mystery:

Yes, there are mysteries in life, but no god really can provide a true answer.  To invoke God is not trying to solve mysteries or discover knowledge. rather it closes off inquiry and leaves an empty space in human knowledge that someone will look at later and show that in that empty space is actually knowledge and no god is required.  This probably the reason the belief in the divine and the religions that go with them is more trouble than its worth.  It retards our growth as human beings.  It causes us in our ignorance to fear that which we do not understand and engage in fearful tribalism that leads us to kill one another over what we believe fills the gaps. Mystery accepted as a god rather than an invitation to an honest inquiry will always do this.

Spirituality:

Perhaps we should take from the ficitonal Klingons the call to action to kill these gods which have been, in my opinion, more trouble than their worth.  They were at one time our first and worst attempt as a human race to uncover the knowledge around us. But spirituality is not divine, but rather very human and for that, we can only look to ourselves to uncover the truth about it. Given the amount of plundering, raping and killing done in the name of religion, it is perhaps time to revolt in our minds and kill the gods and discard them as more trouble than their worth.

Conclusion:

I find that the god I once built in my mind is not so difficult to slay as it is so large and touches areas I hadn’t thought of before. It is more ways and methods of think that need to be changed and having the courage to face my life alone and discover the mysteries of life through following after what I need and want while listening to the caws of reason and wisdom.  The mysteries of life are there to be discovered not feared as some ‘god of the gaps’.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Looking Forward” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

Before I get back into the cycle of Virtues, Principles. Goals, Bucket List and Routines that I do, I must address a few sundry issues.  the most notable of these is that the purpose of all this is to keep myself grounded in the now, learning from the past and looking to the horizon. Mostly I am now aware that my 51st year of life is drawing to a close and the goals need to be set for 52. This process starts now with a lot of meditation and thinking about what is best for me.

Like an ancient sailor, one can set a goal for a certain place, but the wind and sea require one to be flexible about the execution of how exactly that is achieved.  Life does not always cooperate with ones’ goals. Mostly the next year will be about the following:

  1. Developing the habits of a writer
  2. Launching a better supporting career
  3. To start crossing off more and more bucket list items.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

As I look at what is crossed off here this was about taking stock of myself to maintain a progress toward honor. I am thinking that next year’s goals will involve blogging as well – maintain the habit.  but also coming to terms with my new YouTube channel being a new pulpit for myself.  Being an honorable social media personality might be the issue here.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

My goal here will be much the same I think.  But might raise the stakes and require two things to be crossed off my bucket list instead of just one.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

This is the most likely goal to fail this year so I might simply renew it with some changes.  Like, make it more basic – Write a full book this year instead. I want to learn from my struggles as a writer this year in order not to struggle next year as much.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I think I am about to make a decision that will be a major victory for me learning to love myself. The downside is there is no way to not to probably get some pushback from others who love me but won’t like what I have decided.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation – 5 min.
  4. Check Communications and Email.
  5. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  6. Work Days: Dress in Gym Clothes: Go to Gym – Weightlifting / Exercise
  7. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Get Dressed for the Day
  8. Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  9. Rest Days – Morning Walk (weather permitting)

The changes here reflect what will happen when I am at the 6-3 schedule.  This week and next I am going back and forth from 4-1 and 6-3 so this becomes more negotiable between the old routines and the new.   Good thing, as I am working on a lot of changes.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Viking Mind” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I think the greatest struggle I have with my deconversion and subsequent departure of any belief in the supernatural has been to change the way I think.  The pagan mindset is the closest I think to the naturalist atheist and I know that some atheists are indeed pagans who deal in the spiritual and perhaps view gods and goddesses, not as supreme beings but simply very powerful spiritual ones that are mistaken by others as gods. Atheists reject the idea of a single supreme being that has authority over them as even existing, but that still leaves a lot of room for variation.

I guess in my own small way I embrace my pagan side though pagan philosophy and in this sense perhaps I do have a Viking mind about these things.  As my meme above states, I run on a pagan atheist OS. Thus certain conversations make no sense to me as either an atheist or a pagan so there is at least some camaraderie of thought between the two viewpoints.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

The Viking mind meditates on the practical.  As much as religion tries to give substance to knowledge gaps, the true value of the pagan mindset is practical reality and it meshes very well. There is a philosophy of how to live one’s life without fear of the gods or God, no made-up original sin to manipulate and control others with or cause guilt for actions simply by being human and the afterlife is an open question, not a definitive black and white one.

Mystery:

Whatever mysteries of life their maybe, I  do not face them groveling at the feet of some invisible imaginary power but standing on my own two feet win or lose. Paganism does not place humanity in the center of the will of the gods, nor does it make them subservient, just a part of the greater whole. I no longer spend my thoughts worrying over sin and how I will either condemn me to help if I don’t repent on time or the fact sin is so broadly defined that it is inescapable just being a human being. I embrace my humanity as a good thing and the world around me as something o be understood and necessary for my survival. I certainly don’t dwell on the afterlife preferring rather like a Viking to live this life as fully as I can for as long as I can.

Spirituality:

My spirituality now centers on my own well being and the well being of others, something I could not say as a Christian.  All the Christian message requires making people feel like shit so God can lift them up. My mentality now is that people are generally good with a few exceptions and that anyone can lift themselves up when needed.

Conclusion:

Of course, the Vikings did rape, murder, and pillage, but name me a people group at some time in history that hasn’t.  The issue now is that being a Viking in mind is more metaphorical and can be turned to good.  I don’t think the same can be said of most religious mindsets outside of Paganism and Agnostic/Atheists.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Everyday Discipline” – A Skald’s Life- Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week I am both talking about my Routines and trying to get back on track with them starting with my Morning Routine which represents the daily discipline of my life.  The every day self-discipline of taking control of some basic things including my thoughts and feelings is what I am doing here.

What you see mostly with my morning routine is taking control of my thoughts and feelings and learning to control what I  feel and think.  There is also the basic physical discipline of stretching to wake up my body.  It’s organizing my day in my head and then beginning to execute that plan in my life.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I have a real love-hate relationship with honor these days, there are places where honor is present in my life and others where I would just soon challenge certain people to a good old fashion Viking duel to settle the question.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I would say that the most likely candidate for my bucket list item here remains to get my tattoo which crosses off a goal and a bucket list item at the same time.  recently I engaged my courage with work and I think it paid off.  I will probably know for sure by the next ‘A Skald’s Life’ post.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I need to catch up on my reading of books and probably this means a few novels because they go faster for me. non-ficiton books take longer because I try to think through them while I read them. Writing the non-fiction book is going to require some work as I keep shifting from one idea to another. I think my Youtube channel has become the living expression of the principle here.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I hate it when to love means you have to make choices of priority in that love.  I have to love myself first.  This has become clear if I want to be happy. This means other relationships do have a priority order but at the top is me and it has to be me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

The routine works when it is done.  I have a problem being consistent with it and I am thinking that tomorrow I will start working on it and it alone for a couple days until the next A Skald’s  Life.  The issue is I want this to be a habit.  The habit of being my thoughts under my mastery.  This is going to take some months of being consistent to do this. This needs to be the focus in the coming year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Wayfarer’s Wells – Part 1” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues.

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

In searching for an analogy of the purpose of my bucket list items I would say the idea of places on a path that stops at a well where you get to stop, get a good long drink of life and can sit down and pause and reflect on how great life is.   They become these way rest points for the wayfarer’s weary feet.

Under the foundational virtues, the bucket list items are much more about journies – two literal and one of the mind. The issue of be ing a traveler of life comes I up and this is very important to me as I now believe this is the only life I get, so I want to live it to the fullest. At the end of it, I want there to still be my sights on the wayfarer’s wells up ahead.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

This is my major hiking trip goal.  I want to do this as my first test of whether or not. I can be a true hiker at that point. it is something I want to do and enjoy.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I went to Budapest in 2011 with my daughter.  I never really had time to explore the city, but it remains the only city so far I have been in that I enjoyed. I want to return, absorb as much of the culture as I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

This is a journey of the mind I want to take this year.  I sued to love reading but school kind fo ruined that which it always does temporarily.  But I feel those juices flowing again and there is so much new to absorb and read so.  I would also lek to be able to say – ‘yep read one book a week for a whole year.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love for self comes up again.  I know it is winter and depression is a little harder to control in the cold and clouds right now, but it is more than that. There is so much I want to do and not a lot of time left when you really think about it in relation to my age and even though my health is good, I don’t want to take that for granted.  If I am going to love myself I need to start taking steps to make these things happen at a higher level. I am starting to feel stuck and that from a self-love point of view is not good.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I find the yoga/stretching with meditation time to be enjoyable. I wish however it was a true habit and I need to work on that.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Two Foundational Goals” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

My rotation leads me to the week’s discussion of my goals and the two left in the Foundational Virtues are both important to me emotionally as well as practically.  Overall I have five out of my nine goals for my 51st-year of life left. The deadline is March 31st.

The first is to cross something off my bucket list under Courage and it is quite likely this will be the goal under the bucket list every single year. The idea is to always be making progress on my bucket list as a motivation.  The most likely candidate for this is getting my tattoo. I actually could do this with my tax return depending on how much it is.  I was hoping to have a better paying job to do this but if not then some money spent on my first tattoo.

The other goal is to finish the manuscript for one of my non-fiction books. No lie, this going to be a challenge now as mostly I find myself getting bored with one project and switching to another.  If I am going to finish this one I am going to have to bear down and finish one thing at the exclusion of writing on the others.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

This blog actually has continued every day without fail since October 1st of last year. The streak is up to 478 days with this post.   A goal that has turned into a genuine habit.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I read spoke at length about this goal but I would add here this is one of those very important goals.  Emotionally very important as it will mark a change from my old life to my new and burning the bridge at last.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

As a writer, this goal is emotionally important as well.  I have written a novel although it is too awful for publication without some major reworking of it.  What I haven’t done is write a non-fiction book and that needs to be conquered simply from an emotional ‘I can do this’ point of view.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The love for myself is both these goals. Emotionally it marks me caring more about what I want than what others think and feel.  I need to cross this bridge very badly for my own self-love’s sake.  I need to cross it and then burn it behind me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Like this, it just needs to be more consistent.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“My Medallions” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I was never one for any kind of jewelry when I was a Christian, but since my deconversion, I have had a small taste for a medallion necklace around my neck.  My Medallions alternate depending on the day.  Most of them have some meaning or significance for me.

Sol’s Day – Valknut with Rune Circle – it represents my new philosophy of life with the nine sides of the triangles being representative of the Nine Noble Virtues.  The three triangles being representative of Love, Justice, and Wisdom.  The rune circle being representative of the mysteries of life. The overall idea being the following of virtue allows me to engage the mysteries of life effectively. Also, the Valknut is associated with death so there is a constant reminder of my mortality.

Mani’s Day – Wolf Yin-Yang Symbol with Rune Circle – A reminder to stay balanced while engaging the mysteries of life.

Tyr’s Day – Small Thor’s Hammer.  I am looking for something like a Viking shield with axes or something similar.  More of a martial reminded of courage.

Woden’s Day – I wear a Viking compass with a rune circle that reads – ‘Not all who wander are lost” originally it was representative of my desire to wander and search for truth but it is also a medallion I probably will wear hiking as well.

Thor’s Day – Wolf Thor’s Hammer – Its a much larger thor’s hammer with a wolf’s head as the handle.  The need for savage courage at times is represented and the not so subtle reminder to men and women that with this person is an alpha wolf.

Frigg and Freya’s Day – Two Wolves Facing Each Other Howling – One wolf soul calling to another.

Sif’s Day – Wolf Head (Fenrir) – I reminder that my end, my final battle will come.  My own personal Ragnarok.  Live life fully and savagely.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

My medallions have become part of my meditation.  Mostly they mark the end of it as I reach for the one for the day and then place it around my neck to end the meditation time.  Each of them represents something heart oriented and thus are good closing thoughts.

Mystery:

There is much mystery to life and the medallions call me to engage it with a certain attitude – with virtue (most notably courage and honor), remaining balanced, and a savage heart.  To be a searcher for Truth that doesn’t take shit from anyone. To live for a savage love of life.  My own mortality coming motivating me to act today whenever possible.

Spirituality:

I guess this is one small part of a ritualistic spirituality of mine.  I don’t believe any of these medallions have and spiritual power of their own.  They, however, do remind me of the quality of heart I wish to possess and stand to others that I am not ‘safe’.  I am a pagan atheist.  If the word ‘pagan’ causes someone to fear me, so be it. I am not out to be loved anymore.  Fear, respect, and honor, yes.  Loved is a bonus I will accept but you have to take me as I am and my medallions tell you a little about that.

Conclusion:

I will continue to wear my medallions whenever I can.  I find they become great discussion starters at times. Mostly they remind me of things that are important to me at a core level – the level of passion and strength inside myself.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Principles – Moving Theory to Action” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

Virtues are good and all but they mean nothing if they are not put into practice.  To help facilitate this I added principles that are designed to take the noble language of each principle and boil it down to a simple statement of active action.  Once every five weeks, I go through them to check myself against the trap of having noble virtues but doing nothing to put them into practice.

The foundational principles are simple but in truth like all simple things harder to master. This is where feelings become more than feelings becoming passions.  Those passions move me from thought to action.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Of all my principles this one keeps me looking to the future to that day when I look in the mirror and see an honorable man. It also causes me to evaluate people in the light of honorable things rather than the superficial looking at jsut what they do for me. What people say and do is not the truth, but the patterns of behavior and life that lead to honor is what I  look for now. I suppose it is one thing about my trust issues that have caused me to grow in a positive direction.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

This probably the most constant principle I deal with every single day.  The constant evaluation of what is the bravest thing to do and when to do it. It is the principle that motivates most of the others.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I guess the shift in principle is to move from admiring truth and seeking it to its proclamation.  To this end, I have started a Youtube channel.  I guess I miss having a pulpit and so I made one.  You can check it out at – The Rabyd Atheist

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love of self and others is an active thing.  Love has a lot of parts of speech but my principles take it from being a noun that I talk about to being a verb that I act on.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This actually can be done very quickly and has stabilized my mornings and gets my head into a better frame of mind.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!