A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Skill in Battle

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

When it comes to being ready for the battles of life and developing the skills I need as warrior of life, it is the Self Virtues that do this most. Discipline has obvious implications but there is also the perseverance and fidelity virtues that teach me that continuing to  strengthen my resolve and relationships leads to being a stronger and more skillful warrior of life as well.

These also are the ones that help with The Grey the most.  This had been a bad week as far as how I personally feel, probably triggered by some bad memories and a bad dream I had Tuesday night.  No, I don’t feel sad.  That’s not what depression does for me.  It just makes me feel numb.  I found this on the internet this week that describes it perfectly.

Image may contain: text that says 'People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the morning just to g0 back to bed again. HealthyPlace.com'

It is this feeling that is The Grey. But I am the Grey Wayfarer – I keep up the Discipline of walking through it. I Persevere and I close ranks with my Circle in Fidelity.  It is the only ways I have found to combat The Grey and numbness that goes with it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I do struggle with the discipline of life when I get like this.  The temptation is to just stop and exist.  But I keep getting up and doing my routines and sticking to my plan because eventually it is the thing that gets me out of it. It is the thing that develop’s the skills I need to fight it.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Keep walking.  I guess I can say about this week when it comes to Perseverance. I keep walking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Close ranks, stay loyal to family and philosophy and keep moving.  These are the strengths of fidelity in The Grey.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Keeping Balance in times like these is difficult.  Love is hard because you feel nothing and Justice is hard because you are self-absorbed in times like this.  Wisdom however at items has fertile ground in these times of depression for me. You have to be careful and keep it in context becasue as I have said before The Grey makes it hard to see clearly at times, but it is the coming out of the grey clouds of depression, that usually I have a moment of insight.  A minor epiphany does happen and things get better. Balance returns and wisdom grows.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 1

The dropping of the cheat meal to one has really been a challenge here. I do however think I have a plan for weightlifting as I may simply purchase a few dumbbells to at least keep my muscles toned at home, until some final decisions regarding a gym can be made. This might also be helpful in times when life gets busy.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Still a challenge, I need to simply get in my head that supper time is the trigger to working through it and I will be OK I think.

Nutrition:

This time of special nutrition has been in many ways a really good thing.  I haven’t been able to lift or walk and so it is keeping me from blowing up like a balloon.  Of course there is the thing of the stress level in my life being lower because I no longer carry the burdens of a lot of other people now that I am out of the ministry. That has had a good effect on my health as well.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – The Foundational Virtues have been good this week.  Courage is more than a warriors virtue, it is a life virtue and having the courage this week to just get up and function has been the difference maker.

Business – I focus on what needs to be done here.  I need an overall career plan at this point and then I need to start executing it.

Self – I can’t tell you how many times the Discipline of the Routines and just my dogged determinism to not quit kept me going this week. I am glad I established these things because it is they that help me the most when depression hits.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Between Battles

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have a lot more time off this week than normal from work.  I only work three days and for a total of a little more than twenty hours.  Not the greatest for the bank account but from a certain perspective it is an opportunity to do some other things and have the time to get my new career going.

So this week is also a good opportunity to do some thing to make life at home better and take a look at what can be done about things that are not getting down right now.  It is not truly going to be a week of rest so much as time between battles to adjust, train and fix my weapons and adjust my armor to use the warrior analogy.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I am feeling my life is getting more about the future and less about the past every day.  That is good. It’s nice to put past battles in the past and look forward to see what new ones are on the horizon. Self-worth or honor is something that is growing in me and has reached the point that I feel I am more valuable than my current employment level. Time to find a more honorable occupation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The real issue as always is Courage. Putting myself out there are my age and with kind of restart attitude is a little challenging, but a little courage goes a long way.  The right thing to do all across the board is to act and get this next step moving in my life.  The time between battles is a time to focus and prepare and then take those steps toward the next challenge.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is, I still find this task daunting at times.  It is not something I was completely unprepared for.  I was going to school for a reason after all.  It is jut the events of this last year have made this a little bit of a crisis moment instead of smooth transition.  Trying to smooth out some of that bumpy road is also a between battles task.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My motivation is all this is the woman of my life now.  My wife of almost thirty years.  The sad thing is this relationship almost came to an end.  The joyous thing is that at the last moment we both decided to give it another shot and so far it is working.

The one thing that is truly good is the realization that love does not allow you to take relationships like this for granted.  You can’t assume because love is active not passive and you have to keep expressing it to have it work. I guess if there is a silver lining to all this; it is this lesson, and we both have learned it. Forgiveness is definitely a needed, but more importantly is the need to proactively keep your love growing and pure.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I like the changes and meditation is starting to feel more normal.  I did give up the lotus position thing and settle for just sitting in my chair instead but I feel that this still is a relaxed position that allows me to meditate without distraction.  I still want to add candle and incense to the whole thing but it is mostly a matter of money that this hasn’t happened.  This is an important thing to me and I don’t want to be cheap about it or not get something that truly works for me.  It should be noted that I look forward to getting up in the morning which is one of the goals here.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Yeah, I know I can do some things on this list very quickly if I wanted to.  However, as I sit here between battles and think to myself one of the harder things needs to come off of here by July.  It needs to be something significant.

Weightlifting:

I am thinking of baby steps at this point.  A portable dumbbell bench and a few dumbbells might get me back into the basics for muscle tone purposes. Once I know where I am working, I can look for a gym but even then a good home gym long-term is a better solution.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Norse Symbols and Objects – The Valknut

Happy Saturn’s Day and Happy Disting.  Let’s all remember those mothers and women who passed on before us, and the beginnings of spring in which there is new life even in the ice and snow.  

In looking at symbols of the Norse people this one seems to have a long origin and goes back to possibly the 9th century.  It is composed of three interlocking triangles. It can be found on gravestones and in archaeology in various places from the Viking Age.  The Norwegians introduced the idea of it meaning ‘knot of those fallen in battle’ long after the Viking age was over but it could be true.

What does it mean?  We don’t know really.  It is connected with the dead in Viking culture, because it appears on gravestones and viking funeral ships. Representations of Odin appear with it, so it is often thought to be connected with him. Mostly though we get the idea that this symbol for the Vikings was connected with death.

That hasn’t stopped modern people from running with it and giving it their own meanings.  Currently it is connected withe the revival of heathen practices among people with Norse and Germanic decent. It has come to symbolize other things in the modern mind.  But the one thing it seems to maintain is its association with the Vikings and their death rituals. Many theorize a connection with deep strong magic in the Viking culture associated with death.

For me and many others I think, the Valknut symbolizes the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) the best.  It is basically three interlocking triangles, total of nine sides that form a single symbol.  Each triangle has come to mean one of the higher virtues for me and each side one of the NNV.  The whole thing stands together as one symbol representing my total philosophy.  In the end it makes a great meditation focus for me. I have also seen it used in conjunction with the nine worlds.

I am well aware of the fact that there is one white supremacist group that uses this as their symbol but I think they pervert it. It never had any connection to white supremacy until they used it this way, and I would say it is a common practice of race oriented groups of all kinds to take good and noble symbols and pervert them.  The most notorious one being the swastika which originally was a symbol of balance and harmony.  Hitler perverted it. Mostly though for the Valknut, I stand with a lot of other pagans in my defense of the symbol representing a heritage without racial hatred. It should be noted the symbol is used by many other non-racist organizations and companies. Including ones that actively stand against this racism.

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In the end the symbol has a lot of mystery and so it can be given a lot of meanings and perhaps that is its greatest strength. It allows the individual the freedom to think what they wish about it and give it the meaning that best works for them. For me it is a reminded of the virtues I place value on and try to practice.  So it remains a constant reminder to me of that and that, because of its connection with death, I should be remembered for the noble life I lived because of following the virtues to me it represents. I wear one on a necklace around my neck these days.  A reminder of the mysteries of following the NNV and walking as a pilgrim through life.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 3)

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Concluding this week of Finding Peace and Rest we end with the Self Virtues.  The Foundational Virtues provide overall philosophy and the Business Virtues provide dealing with others.  Self Virtues are primarily about dealing with one’s own self and thus that is where they provided peace and rest. I feeling of personal calm and serenity is the goal here.  The image of the meditating warrior who is at peace with himself and thus at rest is what is evoked here.

Self Virtues provide Peace and Rest through habit and a positive mental state.  I could say that even when I am at work, I am at peace and I am at rest when these virtues are still in the front of my mind. Discipline provided peace and rest because it eliminates worry and confusion as it step by disciplined step helps me grow and come to terms with what I am trying to become. Perseverance will of course will not allow me to be defeated, which means I will win and find that peace and rest on the other side of victory. Fidelity provides rest in that I know I am loyal to those who have shown loyalty to me, and rest because I can find rest in knowing where I stand with each person.

With these in place a full picture comes to mind of a meditating warrior king on his throne, presiding over a prosperous kingdom at peace and at rest from war. This is not chance but living of all the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Discipline is what leads to habit and habits re-sculpt us into what we want to be. In my mind bad habits are simple discipline gone bad. Good habits are the result of discipline that is directed toward an image of what you want to be. Applying this to everything it can be applied to has been a wonderful challenge. The thing here is that I will continue to do so so that one day when I get the chance to help develop others again, I will have the insight to do so.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

If there is one virtue that comes so naturally it is like breathing, it is perseverance. I guess my family has a little to do with this as ancestrally we don’t quit. But the day personally this was really put to the test was the day I got up for my second football practice in High School.  That took a lot of perseverance and it is a character trait that has stuck with me ever since. Right now it is helpful as memories of past failures are constant but I keep going despite them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Who has been loyal to me?  They get my loyalty in return.  That circle is small and elite. This virtue has at least the simplicity of being easy to understand. Harder to execute sometimes.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is not hard here when you get a look at the big picture of Peace and Rest.  life always has the challenges to living and survival and the goal of peace and rest is difficult at times at best.  Mostly though it is the choosing of the right path where wisdom is most needed. It is these crossroads and forks in the road of life that peace of mind and rest of spirit puts you in the best frame of life to make good decisions.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The truth is weightlifting and walking are non-existent right now but I keep them on the list as a constant reminder of what is needed yet.  Cleaning and Writing go off without a hitch most weeks and the cheat meal count has worked well this week and it keeps me mindful of where I am at with that.  I am thinking that I can start to collect dumbbells for the purpose of weightlifting.  Walking is really not a problem when the weather is nicer.  I wish I had winter gear worth a damn but right now the cold and snow are extreme in Michigan, so no walking for me. Spring is a couple of months away.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

This is a challenge like I thought it would be.  I think the trigger for the routine needs to be supper time.  That is when so far it has worked the best when I go right from eating to the routine. There is a gap sometimes between reading and going to bed that way but at least it gets done.

Nutrition:

The big change this week is that I will be tightening up the diet starting Sunday to one cheat meal a week and one carb source a day. This won’t be normal, but it is the lead in for building up to being in the best shape I can be in for my birthday.  The month before that the goal is no carbs for a month. Intermittent fasting is now pretty much every day as I don’t eat the first eight hours after I wake up.  So far this is not hard.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – This weeks theme of peace and rest starts here.  Honor, Courage and Truth are what leads to both and I am learning how much that is true.

Business – I am starting to have a vision of what I want to be and things are moving forward. I seek the rest and peace of Self-reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality. I feel optimistic about this area of my life.

Self – I still struggle with personal peace at times.  Made harder by the fact this time last year a lot of shit started and I am struggling with the memories of it. Mostly it was a lot of wasted emotional investment and struggle.  That said, I feel I am on the right path on this.  Just have to walk through The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 2)

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

Continuing my theme of Peace and Rest this week, I look to the Business Virtues and how they provide both of those.  Prosperity is not a bad thing. In fact I am reminded that the there are counter expressions such as ‘poverty is the root of all evil’ which I now feel are much more true than the Biblical quote.  Prosperity actually bring peace in that when there is abundance there is no need for strife.  Business is about achieving that prosperity, so there is peace and the opportunity to rest.  The image of a prosperous trading town with artisans and craftsman doing their business and building mutual prosperity comes to mind with this one.

The Business Virtues achieve this by providing motivation, means and a basis for ethics.  Self-Reliance provides the motivation because as I wrote yesterday it is about being free and independent.  Industriousness provides the means of achievement as work and enjoying your work leads to prosperity.  Hospitality provides an ethical basis for Business, that business is about helping others achieve their prosperity as well as your own.  You cannot be self-centered and ultimate succeed in business.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I think at this point all things have kind of focused on the business finding the right job for me that I can do and provides greater opportunity down the road.  I refuse to do something that leads to stagnation and dead ends. I want a job and career path that helps me achieve independence.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I have found I enjoy working regardless of what it is.  There is something about working that gives life a sense of achievement and that is probably why you hear me speak very little of retirement.  My idea of retirement is to own my own business and settle down to running it until they burn my body on a viking ship headed out to sea.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

While hospitality’s basic form is to help those in need, I feel there is an element of being a good person toward others in all business dealings.  Of striving to bring about the best situation for all considered so prosperity is shared and grown.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Every decision I make regarding my business with others; in all its forms, is about justice, and doing the right thing at the right time in the right way. Being just and fair in all my dealings is a real goal for me.  But also I recognize when someone is not being just with me and I resist that.  I guess there is a motive to my rebellion at times to society and the system it creates – I want to see justice done.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two a day.

This has actually been hard this week because I have been fighting The Grey a lot. It is probably time for another installment of The Grey and The Wayfarer.  For now I will say  I think in large part the memories of last year have started as this is about the time my struggles with a lot of things became much more intense.  Memories always seem to have that effect with me until I create stronger ones.  The problem is the memories of last year are pretty intense and its going to take a lot to overcome them.  Thankfully on this list of daily tasks there are a couple of things that help with that.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

My internship is officially underway.  I don’t think number 3 is going to happen but I will simply shift the day to the end of February and keep going.  I am not going to keep track of goals not achieved as I don’t think that helps at all. Nope, better to adjust,exercise some perseverance, and try again.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

This is a pretty simple budget plan, the issue remains the income level to make it start moving faster.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 1)

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) for me are about peace and rest in the end.  It is about putting yourself into a position to be free to the point where there is nothing but peace. The NNV are about achieving this warrior’s peace.  They may be a warrior code but the end result; the end desire is peace. It is the image of the honorable king on his throne.  His acts of courage have cause his enemies to sue for peace and his commitment to truth means his people trust him. He and his realm are at rest, peace and growing in prosperity.

The Foundational Virtues achieve this in a multitude of ways, but mostly they end anxiety and worry.  Honor means you are at peace with yourself and no longer are anxious about your inner battles. Courage means you act instead of worrying about things.  Truth means you are not anxious about what you understand and believe. You know you pursue what is honorable, courageous and true so there is little to fear when it comes to inner conflict, cowardice or lies unless they are in others.  You simply know and are at peace that you are honorable, courageous and truthful.

This week has a simple goal.  To complete as many things as possible each day but also to introduce some rewards for completion of the day, so it is in my best interest to start living things.  The planning and all the organization is mostly over.  There will be small adjustments to be sure and a growing understanding of what I am doing, but the skeleton of my vision for myself is finished. Now it is simply time to flesh it out by living it.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The meditation each morning has really started to help with my sense of inner honor and peace. I have gotten to the point also where I can move through life and don’t give a shit what dishonorable people think about me. But I also value people and their opinions when I can see honor in them.  I don’t know if I have achieved everything here; but I feel like I have achieved a level of honor, and I am looking to try to build to the next one.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have actually acted in courage a lot this past week.  There were people to talk to and confront about certain issues and I have done that. I don’t know what the results will be, but I have don what needed to be done at the right time. I still have some people who try to push this Alpha Wolf around.  They find it more difficult than they think and it is amusing to me. I working on making sure this doesn’t spill over into asshole behavior as I try to respect the humanity of others no matter who they are. But if you don’t respect me; well that’s not my problem, but it will be yours if you take it too far with me. I accept the loneliness tha goes along with some of this but that’s the price of being a wolf instead of a sheep.

See the source image

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth that is most challenging is the one you find in the mirror.  That said, I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror anymore. That’s the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find a great deal of peace these days in the arms of my wife.  The love we are growing has old roots but it has new branches and that is very good. It pulls everything together when I am holding her.  The king needs his queen’s love and that is particularly true for me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Thus routine is getting more and more automatic.  The meditation time is becoming more productive and focused and so another goal is achieved here. Of all my routines it is the one with the least problems, if any.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This is the stuff that makes life worth living.  I need to look at it that way and I think something will cross itself off of here very soon.

Weightlifting:

Until I have a new job and know where I am working for a while, the gym question is a little problematic. I probably could solve this problem by building up a set of dumbbells slowly over time as I can afford them plus a compact but functional weight bench. It isn’t the best equipment for what I do, but it would save time and be versatile.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Evening Routine: Reading

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Part of my daily routine is study and working on school.  As I was putting together my Evening Routine last week, I put together the practical things I needed to do for such a routine but as I went through the week I realized there was something missing – Reading for enjoyment.  The need for this pressed on me as I realized that a lot of my routines are about getting things done a discipline.  But part of me needs to enjoy life a bit and adding a 15 minute reading session at the end of the day right before I nod off to sleep is needed.

If there is anything I have learned about Routines is that there needs to be a part of each one I look forward to doing. Reading is something I enjoy when I have the time.  I need to make the time instead and put it near the end. There is an element of this that is me escaping into another world.  I need this more than most people know.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Probably the only thing that concerns me these days regarding discipline is time.  Time is the same for every person and it requires discipline to make the most of it.  The issue is disciplining relaxation into things so it allows recovery. I need to look at this further, but reading in the evening routine is kind of like that.  I also like to game a little on my PC and perhaps that needs to be part of the daily routine for say an hour at the end of the day too.  A reward for a successful day.  Something I need to look at more so that I don’t get to the end of the day and ask – how has this helped me relax and be more at peace and have no good answer.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

The job search is becoming a matter of perseverance as I seem like I am getting no where but it always seems that way right up until the interview is scheduled and then I know I can do well. It is just a matter of going forward in what seem to be failure and defeat.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I hate when I am busy because it always makes family stuff and time with my wife seemed rushed. I don’t like that from a fidelity point of view as people in my life deserve my time.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance is a key issue in wisdom and this has caused me to look at everything in the context of cost and benefit.  I have often ask people who work a lot – “what good does that do you if you never have time to enjoy what you are building?”  It is a question I stop and ask myself from time to time. At the same time if you enjoy what you’re doing then work can be a time of relaxation form a spiritual point of view.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real issue is weightlifting and walking still. I don;t want to join a gym only to have job that does not allow me access to it anymore.  I need backup plan for both that does not require a gym.  A full dumbbell set might do the trick for one.  The other I just need to wait for spring as I don’t have the proper gear for walking in the snow.  So much hinges in improving income.  It needs to be my focus along with school. The cheat meal count has dropped to the level I want it to be all the time.  This is the test of whether this lifestyle can be maintained.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Reading for 15 minutes at the end of the day.  Somehow this suits me. It also might help me start working through this backlog of books I need to read. But first I got two new ones on Norse mythology. The rest of it is going surprisingly well.

Nutrition:

Nutrition is my main thing now regarding health and perhaps it is good that I don’t have the gym in some ways because it has forced me to focus on it.  The fasting is easier than expected and the carb counts are good and the cheat meals.  The thing is that in a couple more weeks the diet enters a very serious phase. I need to be ready for it

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I actually feel pretty good here.  I feel like my foundational virtues are good.  I need more courage at times but I also think that part of my personality is not to give a shit about offense at times. these are hard virtues to practice because they are so abstract, but I do feel like I have learned to crawl so time to learn to walk in them.

Business – I don’t struggle with the virtues as much here – just the results. Mostly I need to keep disciplined about school and keep the job hunt going while enjoying and getting the most out of my current job as much as possible.

Self – It is in the end about being a better me. It is all I really can control and even then there are some elements beyond my control.  Life is more like sailing in many ways.  You have to take the wind as it is and make the most of your abilities to still get where you want to go. Sometimes it is at your back and other times you have to tack back and forth.  Either way you keep your eyes on the prize and then find out what you need to do to get there.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Smithing My Fortune

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

I don’t believe in fate or destiny or any of that crap. I look at what people call fate or whatever, and it looks suspiciously to me like you are just reaping the rewards of your own decisions good or bad.  I also don’t believe everything happens for a reason.  I believe sometimes good things happen and there is no reason to it. Of course, I have long rejected the notion that God causes all things to happen to us; as it gets very difficult to explain that there was a good reason for a woman to be raped or for parents to see the five-year old child drown.  Sorry sometimes shitty things happen and there is no greater plan.  You can learn from these things; and be a better and stronger person for it, but there is often no sense to be made from it.

So when I look at making my own way in the world and building something for my wife and I, I look to my self and my own decisions.  As the Icelandic proverb states – I am well aware that I am the smith of my own fortune.  There are two issues right now. 1) Finding a better job and 2) whether or not to continue with my education.

I am trying not to be as picky, but at the same time my previous work and life experience should count for something. I don’t think being a lawyer would work for me.  I would rather do business, writing or even, somebody mentioned this to me. journalism. Mostly though I have to make up for twenty years of doing a professional grade job (pastor is white-collar) for wages at the hourly Joe job level for twenty years, and so I lean toward business.

If this is the case then an MBA might be a better plan long-term.  The nice thing is that there are so many completely online MBA programs these days.  Even one at the college I just graduated from.  I have to give this one serious thought.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

The goal is complete self-reliance in all things. To do that now and in the future requires a growth in prosperity.  You can’t just get content even late in life. It leads to stagnation and death. Self-Reliance is very much about staying strong long-term.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I can work any job with some enjoyment to it.  However, I do long for a job I love, but any work can be enjoyable if you look at it through the right frame of mind.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I really don’t have much opportunity to be hospitable, but it is always there.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

This question of ‘is this decision just’ is always in front of me now. Every time I do something related to other people, I find myself thinking on what the best or most right decision should be for all parties and advocate for that. I guess I am pretty good at being a negotiator in some terms, at least in the terms of seeing both sides of an issue.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two a day.

Carb count drops to two for this week and next.  The rest now reflects three online classes and an internship, plus staying on top of keeping my marriage strong.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Gym Membership is on hold and the job search has yielded so far no results.  The rest of them are all in progress.  When today’s post drops we will be at 115 straight days of blogging.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Still working # 1 but it is getting closer.  The key is still a better paying job for myself. Time to smith a better fortune for myself.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Truth: Love’s Joy

Happy Tyr’s Day:

Discussion:

If there is a holdover from my days as a Christian it is the connection between truth and love that is found in 1 Corinthians 13:6.  The idea that truth is something that love rejoices in is very real to me.  Of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Truth is probably the most challenging in terms of thinking of it in love, because we often think we are more loving by protecting others or ourselves by not facing or revealing the truth. Nothing is less true.  Lies are not loving actions.  They are protective ones, but they are not loving ones.

There is a challenge here as the virtue of truth says it is better to be silent than to not tell the truth. But sometimes silence is the lie. You have to be careful here as sometimes as painful as the truth may be; it needs to be said or the silence of it perpetuates other lies.

Truth is something that loving people share with each other and being offended at the truth shows a lack of love.  With all the political correctness and people getting offended at things, you probably now know where I stand on all that.  If your offended, then you have no love there.  Love is indeed patient, not easily offended. Truth is something that challenges that on a regular basis.  Truth has the potential to offend as I have discovered on several occasions blogging.

People have their prejudices; that’s all of us by the way.  Everyone has their biases and everyone objectifies. It isn’t about race, creed or sex on this on;, it is simply a fact of being human. This is a truth that first must be faced by yourself and toward yourself. Facing your own prejudices and how you objectify others is something that is a constant battle.  Too many people take one of two tactics, either to deny their existence or to claim has arrived to a higher plane where they are no longer there. Or worse they justify them.

Objectification is particularly daunting because we do it probably every day and often to people we claim to love. Spouses objectify each other, siblings, parents to children. When you stop seeing people as human, and see them as an object to gratify your needs then you have crossed the line.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

We need truth, because it allows us to go forward to achieving what we need without objectifying others.  There is a connection here between Need and Reason that truth provides.  Our need to love and be loved has to have truth or we cannot reasonably approach the subject of how to fulfill our needs without exploitation of another’s rights. You will never be loving if you don’t face the truth about your relationships with others. Truth is needed or its is just one big game of objectification.

Wants (Freki):

We also want the truth, but we also want comfort and security.  This is probably the main reason we lie.  We don’t want to offend but in so doing we are objectifying the other person assuming they will be a problem and be offended at what we have to say.  I suppose in our culture these days this is an easy assumption to make.  But being offended and fearing to offend are equally objectification.

We want truth because it cuts through both of these things and gets to the real healing and often progress in meeting our needs and wants.

See the source image

Reason (Huginn):

Reason cannot function in lies.  It just can’t.  Reason requires truth to function and make sound decisions.   Reason simple faces the truth and draws conclusions.  It is why being a reasonable person is a loving action.  Not cold, like some would say, driven by pure logic. Reason is connected to truth and truth is the joy of love. Love sees the truth and then engages reason to genuinely help.  in this era of feelings first this needs to be stated over and over again.  Feelings cannot make right to wrong decisions, they are just feelings. reason guided by truth will always lead to loving decisions.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that this connection between Love, Truth and Reason needs to be constantly respected and kept in balance.  Truth becomes the pivot point between Reason and Love.  Decisions become based in truth so they are both beneficial and yet compassionate.  Wisdom respects Truth’s efforts to keep both in balance.

Conclusion:

I knew when I set up my progression though the NNV that Truth would be one of the more difficult.  Combine that with the fact I connected it the Higher Virtue of Love and you create a large and very difficult pair of concepts to grasp. Abstract doesn’t even begin to describe the difficulty. That said both of these ideas are why I believe something is out there beyond the biology and physics.  Truth is a little bit more than biological and physical facts.  Just like that which takes joy in it – Love.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – How to Deal with Illness

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I spent the majority of the weekend in bed.  I even called in to work to tell you how bad it was. Except I have learned that the best way for me to handle things when I am sick is to rest and sleep as much as possible.  Let my body have all the resources it needs to fight off whatever it is and then I recover quicker.

When it comes to my routines, meditation, etc. It pretty much goes out the window that day.  Some things take precedence over those things and recovery of health is one of them. That said, I woke up Sunday, did my morning routine and headed out the door to work. I wasn’t 100 percent but I was capable of working so there I went.  My hope was hope was to get back home and rest some more.

That said some meditation found its way to my sick-bed.  It is strange the things you think of when you are sick and perhaps it is best not to dwell on anything too much in that state of mind.  Nothing positive will come of it.  But Meditation was used to calm myself down a couple of times and relax so I could rest.  The point of routines is to develop strengths that you can use in moments of crisis or struggle and sickness is a little of both.

I started the week coming out of sickness but still managed to go the first day pretty strong but probably resting and sleeping more than I wished.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think one of the hardest things to do while sick is maintain a positive attitude. You really have those moments of challenging your self-worth or honor.  it is hard to see the end of things when sick, like certain sicknesses will end eventually.  It’s probably the only positive thing you can think of at the time – ‘this too will pass’.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I don’t know if courage counts while sick unless you are facing something major and life threatening. The normal flu and colds are mostly a matter of Perseverance.  But I have to say when you feel sick and have to function and do so I might take an action of courage to keep going.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth.  I am not immortal. I am not invulnerable. I am not super man.  I am human and subject to human frailty. Hard lessons every time I am sick but lessons I need to remind myself of each day.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My wife is a saint when I am sick.  I ask very little of her because I don’t want to be one of those men who is a big baby when he is sick.  That said, she often does a lot of things on her own to help me and take care of me. I have to say there is a lot of love to it and for that I am very grateful.  I always plan to return that when she is sick.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Major adjustments here are the removal of Breakfast and Supplements and Medications which are now part of the evening routine.  Meditation is now more ‘formal’ but also more focused on what it needs to be.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I think number 2 is up first. then number 6 for the second half of the year.  I just need a better job with more income to make the first happen.

Weightlifting:

I don’t know, the problem of getting a new gym is made more complicated by the fact that I have no idea where my new job might be. This would have a tremendous bearing on that subject.  I don’t want my new gym to just be a temporary place but a new gym home and that means I would have to have some sense of permanence to both my work and life which is something I don’t have right now. I might simply have consider what I can do at home for minimal cost.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!