Of Wolves and Ravens – Love: Mutual Essential Happiness

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I know I used a Robert Heinlein quote for the Pagan Pulpit this week, but I suppose it is also fitting that he comes up here, as love is the philosophical topic this week. Love for Heinlein was the idea that in order to be happy another person you cared for also had to be happy.  When both sides are concerned at this level with each others happiness, then love is there.

I feel the same trepidation in talking about Love as I do Fidelity.  I have never really grasped or been good at this love thing. Mostly because I am a little bit of a hopeless romantic when it comes to love. I have high ideals about it. I have discovered however that ‘love’ is not thought of as highly by others as myself. People use the word ‘love’ so often and so frequently it loses its meaning.

I find with love I represent the blundering idiot more than the person who understands it on a practical level.  Because of this, when love is lost by any cause, it hurts me – badly. It is in times like those that I find myself wishing my heart could be ripped out of my chest and removed all together.  Every time there has been that early struggle to just shut down all emotions completely and forever.  To go completely cold-blooded bastard, so I don’t have to be concerned with anyone’s happiness but my own.  But in the end the risk of love is far outweighed by the joys of it. At least when I find those joys.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I need love.  We all do.  As introverted and reclusive as I am, I find the need to feel that someone loves me.  I can face a whole day by myself and be happy with it, if I know someone loves me. I struggle with that though because my definition of love is so very high. My standards and expectations of love I receive is the same as I give to them.  If I am ‘all in’ with a person, I expect that in return and I need that to be true.

I need different kinds of love.  I need friendship, family love and the one I will be using the most in this post – love of the deepest nature with another human being.  In my case as a heterosexual male – love with a woman. It’s the love I need the most.

Wants (Freki):

I want love.  It has a lot of side benefits. For me, I find The Grey has no place in love. It isn’t there or does not affect me at all.  Love is the sunshine I keep in my heart where I smile even if the clouds are over me.  I can smile because the Grey has no power when I can feel that I am loved. When I know I am loved.  It is a want that is very strong, but it also makes me not think about what’s going on as much.

Reason (Huginn):

The wolves of love are easy.  The reason behind it is much harder. I have loved and lost several times both is romance and friendship.  Two times romantically were greatly significant to the point they were personally devastating.  I wrestle with the fact that I was ‘all in’ with these two women but it is clear by their actions, they were not.  It is hard when that other person’s happiness is so essential for your own, but then you come to the devastating realization that their happiness is not conditional on yours.  That takes some time to get over.

There is also trying to rebuild love. Yes, it is a real thing. Where history causes you to doubt love.   So you say it to each other multiple times every day, when you are alone you go through the box of all the notes she has sent you where she has written ‘I love you’.  You cuddle and kiss and make love and that phrase ‘make love’ has a whole new meaning because that is exactly what you are doing.  It isn’t about sex as much as making love.  To build it and surrounded it with wall and protect it.  It’s hard when you look at the damage at times, and see it is you who destroyed that part, and now you have to fix it. It is far easier to destroy than to build and that is especially true for love.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience makes one wiser, I can say for me love seems to be an exception to that rule. I find with love reason and wisdom seem to have little place. They probably should, but in truth we all seem to shoo the ravens away to follow our wolves of need and want. I can say that I am wise enough to really guard myself these days.  Despite my desires, I keep myself limited in who I love and why. I just know, if I am hurting I try to grasp love from somewhere and if the pain is high enough wisdom and reason are very hard to find. So, I try to deal with reducing the pain to stay in fidelity.

I suppose that is why when it comes to love I see that honor, courage and standing for truth are good emotional states as well as virtues.  Strong ones. They help with understanding love and keeping on the path despite my pain about it.  At the same time, it is this continued search for love that keeps me wandering and searching.

Conclusion:

Love is a funny thing.  It can scar you when you are the one concerned with someone else’s happiness, but they are not as concerned with yours.  But it also can bring joy, healing and strength when it is.  I don’t know if have really said much here.  I know there is a lot of emotion behind my words in this post today, but whether my philosophy behind love as a higher virtue is good I have no clue.  I am still learning.  As I said, I am a blundering idiot at times with love. But I keep walking trying to understand it.  I keep walking hoping to find the sunshine of love to keep my heart free from The Grey.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Epic Struggle (Part 1)

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In Norse Mythology Loki has three children with a giantess who, as one would expect are not exactly nice children.  They are Fenrir, Jormungand and Hel.  Fenrir is the wolf that will swallow Odin.  Jormungand is the serpent who will be both defeated by Thor and be Thor’s demise.  Hel is the Ruler of Helheim and the end ruler of all people who die of natural causes. This week I am going to talk about the epic struggle I am having and use all of these as metaphors.

Fenrir is the wolf that will end it all at Ragnarok.  He will swallow both Odin and the Sun according to the mythology and end what was to change it into something new.  He is the wild foundation of nature kept now in invisible chains until he gets loose and destroys that which gives all life (the sun) and destroys all knowledge, reason and strength. (Odin).

My Fenrir is that which would cause me to compromise my inner sense of value, to act in fear or lie to protect myself.  Fenrir represents the forces of my life that would cause me to compromise my foundation.  Something I cannot afford to do.  To keep him in his chains and prevent him, from a long a possible, doing so is my goal with my Foundational Virtues.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I have struggled with Honor the past few days.  I am starting to get frustrated as to how little is happening in my life right now. The fact is this blog and doing the necessary things in life are difficult for me.  I don’t like my mental state right now about myself or my future. Fenrir threatens to engulf me. I cannot let that happen.

The blog continues to be my way of keeping to the path more than anything else.  I have found that there is an honor in creation and the discipline if sitting down to write every day keeps things remotely focused at least.  I want to get back walking and training for that long hike too.  I need more tools in my box to fight The Grey.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Courage is not as great a problem as Honor.  I feel like though Perseverance and Courage are overlapping right now.  I keep getting up, doing what I need to do each day, hoping it will get better. I am not sure sometimes if my getting up every morning is and act of courage, perseverance or both some days. The thing I am determined to do is outlast my own personal Fenrir.  The Valkyries can have me but not him.  I will work very hard to never be afraid of him.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I find myself silent a lot. Nuff’ Said.

I have written down many ideas for my non-fiction book.  The problem is the one theme that comes up over and over again is to write a book about religion and what a fraud it is. I also find the Nine Noble Virtues as a theme. I don’t know if either one of these is valid.  I am trying to be respectful of people who are religious, but at the same time I the fraud and bullshit of it all should be confronted and boy could I do that job. Particularly with Christianity.

Latin is probably going to have to be reserved for a three times a week thing on the weekly routine.  It takes up a lot of time than I expected but I have enjoyed the opening thoughts behind why I should learn Latin.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am writing on Love tomorrow for Of Wolves and Ravens.  I will save most of my thoughts until then.  Love though is keeping me going right now at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This is working well,  I had no problems with it this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Iron Thoughts

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

By the time this post drops it will be Friday at 8 am. I will be at work, but I will be thinking about iron. It has been about three months since my old gym closed leaving me gym homeless. It would have to say it has been hard, not just because I don’t have a place to train, but because the gym was a place to get my mind right. It was one of the many tools I used to fight The Grey and I am excited to bring it back into my life. I have missed the iron.

I joined a new gym Monday April 1st. It is a block from where I work, so I am planning on heading there after work and banging out some set and reps. This winter I have not lost much of what I gained last summer. I probably have put on a few pounds but my diet has been pretty tight for the most part, plus my work is fairly physical. I am hoping this new gym membership will allow me not only to return to where I was but take my progress to new levels. My only goal for each workout is to make it better than the last time.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I decided to slow down on this diet thing, not because exercise is coming back into my life as far as walking and lifting. No, my thoughts are to read my book again on Paleo and start to follow their advice on how to implement it. I am sticking to what I am doing currently and will over time change my diet to be more Paleo centrist. It has worked well for me. I should be implemented fully by the end of the month if not sooner. It’s one of those one bite at a time things to eat the elephant. Is elephant meat Paleo friendly?

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I was going to walk this last few days.  The weather is still a little cold, but in truth I think my new exercise program should kick off with a trip to the gym. It’s symbolic.  A restart should always have some sort of symbol to mark the occasion and I feel the moment I reach down for a deadlift for the first time in three months, I will be off and running. I have decided on a three-day split. Pull, Push and Legs.  Pull being Traps, Back, Biceps and Forearms.  Push being Chest, Delts, Triceps and Abs. Legs being Quads, Hamstrings and Calves. This keeps me in my three days a week minimum and hitting my whole body in that time frame. I am going to start off with 4 x 10-12 with a rising pyramid as far as resistance levels. Once muscle memory kicks in after a month, I should be doing what I was doing before my last gym closed.

Stretching will be a part of it before and after.  Next week the weather is supposed to be very Spring-like. so walking my first few 5 k training walks will commence then.

I have started a savings plan that will lead to my first tattoo. More on that under fidelity.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My savings plan is basically to take a little more out of each of my checks and set it aside. Part of this will be for my first tattoo and part of it for my wife and I’s mini vacation.  In a couple of months the vacation will take place and then in three months I will see where my tattoo money is at.

I think one of the things on hold is the genetic test and part of that is I want to wait until I have a new job and extra income to save for it. I have a lot of time on this one but information is needed, so I can even begin planning.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I feel my plans are starting to go in motion and it is very much like work to get this wheel turning the right direction.  Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity are hard ways to make yourself a better person but they all involve humility in the face of opposition and at times failure.  But humility, in order for it to bring strength and wisdom, brings change not withdraw.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

The first part of the week I tested the morning Routine and the mid part of the week I tested adding the Daily Routine.  Today begins adding in the Weekly Stuff.  It has not been as difficult as I would have thought, but there is a lot of preparation and build up work in some areas.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Tools of Navigation

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

As I take the some new steps to reorient my life goals and ambitions, I have to understand all the tools I have at my disposal to navigate the paths and the waters ahead. This blog is a tool for that and  large one.  Writing allows me to take my scattered thoughts and form them into something a little more organized and purposeful.  The Journal Posts force me to check my course and see if I am on track with the plan.

I mention it sometimes but I also have a paper journal which is more of system of checklists. It allows me to see daily and weekly progress on my routines. It is a form of self accountability.  For weightlifting and exercise I have a logbook.

I have found that there are some essential things to be learned from navigators.  1) Is to know where your going and have a route to get there. 2) Have alternate routes ready whenever possible because sometimes the road you want to take is blocked, so you need alternative ways to get where you are going. 3) Keep records – you can look back and remember things both bad and good.  Stuff to avoid in the future and stuff that surprised you as how it made the journey that much easier.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I really like the progression here.  I did however have to change the goal time frame to  the end of June, as I passed the end of March with no new job. I have decided to step back and redo the whole procedure this week.  I also have chosen the end of June for another reason. I am searching my home state right now with no limitations on where I can go for a job. Very willing to move.  After the end of June, the whole country becomes my search field. I am getting to the point where I need to go where I need to go to make my life go where it needs to go.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

Internship is going well. I start my novel this week. My concern usually at work is trying to find ways that are more efficient and effective.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

I want to start researching different types of support groups this week as well. I want to see what I can do or am willing to do. Both of these items here are very much dependent on where I end up for work,  In the meantime I still try to be as helpful as I can to others without bankrupting myself.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Finding just solutions to life’s interactions has been challenging but very fun to me.  I really like negotiating between parties and always have. Might be  career path for myself.  Justice is very much about being Self-Reliant so I am not a burden to others, Industrious so I provide some usefulness and Hospitality so I can help when I can.  A real balance between holding to the right path and mercy is required in everyday life.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write new post for next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Latin – half hour
  8. Weekly Routine Items
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 1

My only worry about this routine is it might be too long. If it turns out that it is, than Latin can go to the Weekly stuff. So far though I have to think it looks good on paper. I have three days to test it and see but I will probably continue to try well into the next week before I would make a change.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Walking On

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Happy April Fools.  That said you won’t get an April fools joke from me. I prefer a more traditional approach to All Fool’s Day.  Everything backwards or upside down.  Next year this will be my day to do something out of character and do something truly risk taking.  Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Go to a nudist resort, etc.  Something where I throw the virtues to the wind for one day and live life a little risky. Something where the socially unacceptable becomes normal for one day.  I have a year to plan it so this should be interesting.

This year, however, today marks the second day of my ‘walking on’  I have realigned my compass, taken a look at my map and conformed a more clear route and I am now taking steps on it. Journey of Life resumed.

Implementing everything is going to probably take the entire week to really get going.  I have tested the morning routine and it is solid like before. Now I have three days off from work from Tuesday to Thursday where I plan on implementing the rest. The problem of course with it is things need to be set up for some things to be routine. Learning Latin. for instance needs a little work to decided how to proceed step by step o the days off will allow me to do that. By the end of the week I should have all of that done and be moving forward.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I feel valued these days at work and by the few friends I have left. I feel positive about my future. I sometimes struggle with myself.  Throwing off the whole light verses darkness thing and just being a man walking in life as a human being has been a difficult but necessary transition.  It is also one where I feel far more at peace.

The daily blogging hits a half a year with this post. A milestone for which I am giving no fanfare. Half a year to go. To be ready for the hiking trip is going to require training and acquiring some gear. Planning and scheduling.  My walks at least three days a week are the first steps.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The concept of fear being a choice has changed a lot of things for me. Danger is a real thing but fear is a reaction that can be controlled. I have a lot of things to do that will require courage in the next few months so I need to keep making these choices.

I did make one change to the goal here to make it one a year for the bucket list as many of my bucket list items are now more long-term goals. I actually have two that need to be completed by next year at this same time so this should be easy.  Hungary and Budapest awaits, but it will probably be a few years yet.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Honesty is really not my problem.  Bluntness is. I am glad I added the part about learning to be silent in the presence of Fools.  I find myself getting involved in less and less social media discussions. If it wasn’t for writing and memes I might not be involved at all anymore.

The writing schedule will be two days a week on the non fiction book (because it is a goal) and one day on the novel (because it is a bucket list item).  I had to dust off the Latin books and read the “How to do this’ section but I am starting to take baby steps.

Higher Virtue: Love:

When comes to Truth, Courage and Honor, I am definitely adding the notion of love here as I ask how these three express love all the time. It is a guiding virtue for me in these regards.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Love this now. It allows me to use the beginning of the day to think, plan an prepare. Not hard at all.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Fidelity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have always been a loyal friend.  I have always been a loyal father and grandfather.  Understand if you mess with my kids (including my daughter-in-law and son-in-law by the way) or grand kids, prepare to reap something you will not enjoy. I am loyal to mother who yesterday turned 78.  The memory of my father and grandparents I honor every day. I was loyal to my church and even at the end my thoughts were always on how I could withdraw without hurting them any more than necessary.  I never turned my back on them, until they were misled into thinking I had, and turned their back on me.

No. Fidelity is a struggle in a very specific areas for me.  The rest of it is solid. The areas that need work are obviously my wife and I and my trust issues now with possible new friends. The first is much better.  My wife and I have been counseled and we have reached a place where we trust each other again and are supportive.  We still have some issues of course like any couple but we are working on them together.

What remains for me is that I tend to trust people and give them the same loyalty I expect from them. The problem is that I assume they feel the same and they don’t, and I don’t pick up on that.  It can make me naive at times as to what people, who call themselves my friends’, real intentions are or even their real nature.  It has blindsided me more than once.  In this last year it happened twice with pretty catastrophic results.

Well, at least until recently this was true.  Now, I skeptical of everyone who calls me ‘friend’ with very few exceptions. I have made a commitment to keep my circle very small for this very reason. It also why not much has changed in regards to he virtue or principle I follow because I forged both of these things in the fires of betrayal – my own and of those toward me.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

No changes but perhaps some definitions are in order.

  1. My gods are the virtues I follow and my philosophy of deism, humanism and paganism.  Nothing more or less.
  2. My ‘folk’ are my immediate family and those friends who have earned through their own loyalty the title of friend.  Like the virtue says, my friends are family.  I hope that is understood.  There is only one difference.  If friend betrays me, I have no problem throwing them out of the family.
  3. Myself – yeah, in equal measure to those above I work on being loyal to myself and being truly myself. No more masks, no more lies to cover the real me. I will no longer be ashamed of my true self.

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Recent events have the caveat ‘ ‘who have been loyal to me.’  Betrayal is hard when you do it and I now see more than ever the value of fidelity from me toward others.  That said, I get truly pissed off about people who betray me as a result too. Once you do that, my loyalty to you goes right out the window. People screw up, it should be no cause to be disloyal to them. Something me and my wife have learned together which is probably what makes our relationship much tighter in some ways than it has ever been.

I just turned 50, so I am too fucking old now for friends that are disloyal or forming friendships that are not serious.  My pack is small but we fight together and die together if necessary.  This needs to be understood. So yes, you have to demonstrate loyalty now before you get that kind of loyalty from me. Thank you.  Otherwise cue Pantera’s ‘Walk for fake friends.’:

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Last year my wife and I were separated for our anniversary.  This year we need to make up for that somehow.  Don’t know the specifics, but a ‘weekend’ getaway type thing might be just what we need the most.

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I struggled with this one for a while trying to find something that tied in with fidelity. I mean getting a genetics test is easy. finding the means to research it down to actually visiting each country my ancestors came from is going to require some prosperity.  From my mom’s side, that means France, The Netherlands, and Wales for sure.  I could however find some surprises with genetics test. The first step would then be to get a genetics test. I have set as a time limit on this one my 60th birthday as I needed a true long-term bucket list item and didn’t have one yet.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Time is pressing now on the nutrition element here.  I need to spend time before Monday getting a plan together. The main issue is of course cutting out from my diet the things I cannot eat. Coming up with new things I can eat to cook and so forth.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I decided to take some of my tax return and get a gym membership near where I work. I will probably stop by after work every day and hit the stretching and weights. The weather is turning nice so walking is about to start next week too. It begins very soon.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Lots of family stuff which is good.  I suspect the goals will be different things that reflect my gratitude for fidelity toward family and friends.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I learned a lot of humility this last year.  I suppose that this has paved a lot of wisdom for me in the same time frame.  As I relive some of the memories from last year, wisdom and humility kind of beat the hell out of my foolish pride.  It is not an easy time right now and that is for damn sure.  I hope that through Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity, I can find a gentler way to pave wisdom with humility, but I doubt it. I suspect I might be harder on myself than life is.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

Tomorrow I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post to deal with my routines.  I suspect all of them will change but the main issue is to take each goal and bucket list item and find something to put in the routines that works toward them.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved:

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Realigning Hospitality

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

With this A Skald’s Life post and the one of Freya’s Day, the realignment process will be mostly complete.  I have one more post I want to do on Saturn’s Day which will be reworking all three of my Routines to reflect the changes in my goals and bucket list.  The idea being that each goal or bucket list item will have something on one of the routines which takes steps to reach them.  There is a purpose to each Routine where I can see it moving me closer to all of my goals.

Hospitality has always been a little bit of a bugaboo for me.  I am an introvert and recluse by nature. That said, I have no problem holding a conversation with the right people or social situations that are more controlled.  I actually have benefited from such things when there is a purpose to them.

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

I have no problem with the Virtue as written.  Being willing to share is not a problem until you realize the scope of what can be shared. Literally everything can be shared under this idea of ‘share what one has’. It is very broad when you think about it.

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

I had to put a Grey Wayfarer element into this somehow. The ‘life’s journey’ thing is something I can say reflects that.  I miss helping people but at the same time know it can drain you beyond what you are capable of doing so ”out of my abundance’ is my check and balance phrase.  Sharing is of course  very road term and so it allows this to be applied to a lot of different things involving helping others.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

I had one goal left that business oriented about budgeting.  Well, that really is something that fits Self-Reliance and Industriousness as part of achieving those goals. It is also something I have to do as a team with my wife. It also didn’t fit at all with Hospitality.

I freely confess I miss two things about ministry.  Helping people through their life problems as a life coach of sorts and the small support group I created.  I want both of those back and I don’t need to be religious to do so.  This is going to require some digging and research.  I may even have to create something from nothing. but I think it is something I can gravitate to as a former minister.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

Home ownership is something that has never been a real possibility in my life except once early on in my ministry and we did own a home for a couple of years which we lost because of a job situation in the ministry.  Since then no dice, just not enough money. I hoping that will change with a new career and we really need the baseline of financial security of owning a place to live.

In regards to hospitality and other virtues, my home would have to be able to be bipolar.  On the one hand it needs to be a fortress of solitude where I can go to recharge.  On the other if the small group thing becomes a reality, it needs to be a host site.  It also can’t be more house than a couple can handle and I don’t want a huge yard.  All my virtues would have to be somehow reflected. This is also a decision to be made with my wife but I definitively value privacy and minimalism plus being a good place to have a small gathering.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I really like this alignment as it flows one to another. The only issue now is I am approaching the end of March and still no better job.  I am thinking I will have to extend it again and that is a little frustrating. I do however see a three-month plan here where I finish my internship, find a job and move on. It would accomplish a lot of things in my life in a sort time and set me on the path for others.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

Things to enjoy working on here.  I like it and when I get to realigning my routines I see the novel thing being a part of the weekly routine. My internship is actually going on right now I just have to finish the work and get to May 2019.  Once done my degree is supposed to be in the mail by the end of June.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

I like the realignment as it is about expression of prosperity into helping others. Something that gives my business virtues overall purpose.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I look at the three virtues above and my definition of justice is all there. Doing the right thing but being self-reliant.  Working hard both from myself and my wife.  Plus showing mercy to those who might need a hand along the way.  Seems very solid now. Justice after all is about how I deal with people.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two.

I see some changes here.  Consolidation, plus additions and subtractions.

Looking above you can start to see the pattern for the journal entries is going to be more uniform and consistent.  Journal, Three Virtues, Higher Virtues, Routine.  Only Freya’s Day has an addition with a record of Goals and Bucket List Items achieved. I am glad I did this realignment and it really is starting to streamline and simplify things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Truth

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

As I wrap up this realignment process and head into the final week, there still remains a lot to be done. This week I have to realign Truth, Hospitality and Fidelity.  Some of the tougher ones and the problem at this point is that there is not enough left on the bucket list or my list of goals and so some thing are going to have to be created along those lines.

In addition, my Morning, Daily and Weekly Routines need to be modified so that there are things on them that work toward achieving my goals and advancing toward crossing things off the bucket list.  I have made the decision to drop the Evening Routine. All I will basically do in the evening is brush my teeth and go to bed. Some of the things on it will be moved to the other Routines. I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post on Saturday to talk about the Routines specifically to handle that.

Things kick off on the 31st of this month so it is crunch time.

Truth is one of the virtues that has been troubling and difficult this past year. I have pretty passive about it as basically my principle was to simply pursue truth and discover it.  But this is not the focus of the virtue.  Rather it is about proclamation.  Something that as a former preacher I understand better than most. So time to change a few things.

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

The virtue as always is not the problem.  It’s application of it that is the problem.

Principle: To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

I use the word ‘Speak’ in the broadest sense of the word. To communicate with effectiveness has been a large challenge I have accepted in most areas of my life.  Effective communication is here but what is communicated is Truth. The form of communication does not matter – written, oral or other.  The issue is Truth being communicated effectively.  There is also learning when to be Silent.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

This goal is still probably not specific enough so I may further refine it a bit later.  The point is if I am going to proclaim truth on a larger level; than I have been recently, I need a platform to proclaim it from.  I am no longer a preacher but maybe down the road being a motivational speaker or life coach, but until then I need to know what my message is going to be and the focus of this first non-fiction book may very well be creating that message.  Starting now on a year-long process to create and discover this by writing a book might be the best way forward.

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Trying to add some sense of SMART to my bucket list items as well.  The biggest things I need in my life it seems are deadlines.  They keep me moving.  I haven’t dropped learning Hungarian just delayed it a year.  I will probably work on that 2020 to 2021 as my planned trip to Budapest will probably not be for a few years. This Bucket List Item may always be learning a language or a skill I want to just learn.  After Latin and Hungarian I might want to learn cooking or something.  These are the kind of Bucket List items that fit truth.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Just so people know when this post drops the blog streak will be nearing the half way point.  Yesterday the 200th post dropped on this blog. I would say we have gotten past the start and infant stage.

I really feel Honor is something I can now achieve and this realignment has really help me have a better sense of vision for my life which will lead to a better sense of being positive about my future. Which lead to a better sense of Honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This Virtue now keeps me focused on the hard issues of achieving my goals.  It forces me to act and pursue them. That’s a good thing.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Last summer  was writing a blog called The Rabyd Microphone.  Don’t look for it. It’s been deleted.  The one thing about that blog that I absolutely insisted on was it was going to be raw truth.  People didn’t like it because there was one element about truth that I have now come to understand – If people are fools or don’t want to accept it – they will just get angry. So this blog is also committed to truth.  There is one difference, I now ask myself what good will done by stating the Truth and who will listen? In short, is my potential audience fools? If so, then I just keep some things to myself.

I like the changes here – gives me some things to shoot for.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth – Love in action.  I just need to identify what is worthy of my  love and act accordingly and things go right. When I don’t, things go wrong.  In know that seems overly simple, but it works.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I will be doing a special post on Saturday where my Routines will be Realigned according to all these changes.  The goal there is to take each bucket list item and goal and ask what part of any routine is working toward it. This really the final part of the overall realignment.  This means even though this Routine works the best, it might have some changes as far as addition.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Perseverance

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I look at my life I can say if there is any virtue more natural to me than Perseverance, I don’t know what it is. Getting up off the ground is a skill I have mastered and I must say it is part natural and part encoded into me through four years of high school football.  “Get off the ground”, “Coyotes never quit.” etc. pounded in my every practice and every play. It has become a lifestyle.

I know someday I may fall and not get back up.  That came very close to happening last year. But I winced in pain and stood back up and kept walking.  The Grey Wayfarer was born at that moment and to be honest was born of pure stubborn will to succeed or at least survive.

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

It is the best possible definition I can think of.  There are many, but this one just makes it simple and succinct.

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Yep.  Like this too.  No better way to put it.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

This basically combines two of my previous goals into one goal.  It puts a full package and balanced exercise plan to work to improve my health.  Along with Nutrition this is about improving my health and gaining long term health.  All of these activities not only require perseverance to stick with, but also build strength, endurance and flexibility – key components of perseverance.  It just makes sense to me for this goal to be this way.

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My tattoos are going to be about my journey,  so they don’t have to come all at once.  They are also a measure of prosperity in my mind as I would use money that is more disposable income to get them. In any case I am taking a long view on this issue and setting a deadline. My list changes from time to time but there have been some consistent points.  I will probably talk more about this next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Looking at this diet question I don’t have a lot of time to really work on it, but the main issue is it being a Full Paleo Diet plan.  Now when I say that, I make exceptions for a few things.  There will probably be a cheat meal once per week. Special occasions will allow for alcohol and addition cheat meals.  But mostly I am struggling with dairy. I will think on it some more.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Seeing the whole picture here means a visual representation of perseverance in my body – it’s health and how it looks. To build through perseverance a body worth putting art on is what you see here.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

By the time I get to Fidelity next week, I will either be very clear what should be here or completely lost. The wife, family and friends orientation will have to be present. The goal might still be on my list, but the bucket list is empty here. Another thing to think on.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I think this realignment has been one of the wiser things I have done.  It really is bringing things into focus and that is good.  I think it also is going to bring my routines in line with everything as well.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

Going to have to bring this into more compliance with everything.  Next week is all about finalizing the realignment and getting the routines to actually do things that head toward my goals and the bucket list.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Honestly, I think this routine might die.  I think I would be better served in putting the things on it on other routines. If all I do is brush my teeth and go to bed that’s not a routine, that is just a smart thing to do.

Nutrition:

This is going to disappear after today. It’s under discipline with the goal, so I no longer need a separate section.

Weekly Recap:

Name change – Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved.  And that is what this is going to do.  Keep track of the number of each and what they were.  I expect both of them to grow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Realigning Industriousness

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

Hitting the Business Virtues is always a struggle because I am changing a lot of who I am and what I do here. It isn’t just about the virtues but something core to every man – who am I?  That said this realignment has been the most helpful here.  Today we look at  Realigning Industriousness.

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

No problems here.  I like it as it is written.

Principle: To work with efficiency and with enjoyment for work itself.

A small change to bring in the idea of being efficient which fits the virtue better and my own sense of economics and the need to be efficient.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by the end of May 2019.

Industriousness needs something to work and a notion that the work is complete at some point.  My degree is almost finished and represents a lot of work.  Time to hang the degree on the wall and move to whats next.  Just a few more months. Added a time frame to make the goal SMART

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

I needed something that reflects my other industrious point – Being a Writer.  Writing is work, no mater how enjoyable, it is still work. I need to be more industrious about getting to this bucket list item, and so here it will be.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

Now that I can see the whole picture here it looks like the Goal is the next step toward the Bucket List item. As goals are completed here they should be the next step toward the ultimate goal of ownership o my own business that is successful.  This makes things very clear when it comes to self-reliance.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

Goal and Bucket List item are very oriented toward getting something done in a systematic and efficient manner. I suppose it is at this point that I know that I will be asking myself the question of routine.  As in, what routine do I need to add something, so I am doing something every morning, day, evening or week to get a step closer to each goal or bucket list item?  That will be the challenge for next week as I complete the process.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

As I draw closer to the last week of the month, I know this one has to be expanded as far as the Principle.  The goal and bucket list item are still up in the air. Although true to the business virtues it will probably be about budgeting so that the element of budget will be a part of it. Hospitality is after all about having excess, so you can show compassion to others who need it.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice is a difficult thing.  It becomes more imperative when your viewpoint changes from a person who believed that the Christian god would make everything right in the end to a person who believes it is highly possible that The Divine may demand justice here on earth now.  Or maybe there is nothing at all and we need to have justice here on earth to right wrongs and balance the scale or they will never get balanced a all.  All I know is that I can just make myself act justly when called for and if given the opportunity balance the scales.. Otherwise patience and forbearance might be the only actions I have.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two.

There may be some changes here as Goals and Bucket Lists get finalized next week.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  3. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  4. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

As you can see this list is getting shorter; and when this process is complete, it too will disappear.  The Goals Achieved thing will make its way to the weekly recap part of the journal posts.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Just can report with our tax return we are sitting on number one being done right now so debt reduction is a focus at the moment. I should note, with one of my goals involving budgeting, this section will also disappear and be joined with that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!