“My Sexual Identity” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!!!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Introduction:

I have been writing for about a month on the topic of sex and sexuality and their various issues and the one thing it is high time I do is to write about my own sexual identity.  How do I view myself in regards to my sex and my sexual desires I think will help people understand where I am coming from as far as my own sexual perspective.  A few things up front.

  1. I tend to be very science-oriented about these things.  At least that is where I start.  Much of academia these days listen to the social sciences on these issues but I know as someone who has a social sciences degree in political science that much of what is believed there is indeed political posturing and belief, not actual science. For me, genetics and clinical psychology count a lot; and so, if an opinion does not line up with those, it is probably destined for the scrap heap. I live in the real world using real-world observations, not fanciful fantasy.
  2. That said, part of this is my opinion about said evidence.  Sex and sexuality have fuzzy edges because human beings are not black and white when it comes to these issues.
  3. I am a strong proponent of freedom of choice and liberty regarding these issues.

So I would boil my own sexual identity and orientation down to the following words which I will explain in more depth below: masculine, heterosexual. gynephilic, and egalitarian.

Masculine:

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I have a penis, so I am male.  I also like being a man and masculine.  I have no shame of any of this and anyone who says I am toxic, even in part, because of my masculinity can bite me, fuck off, etc. I find such statements ironic because they are sexist but trying to address sexism.  So no apologies for being a man and acting in masculine manners.

I suppose being INFJ, my intuitive empathic side is a little feminine but it most definitely expresses itself in the form of masculine reason and logic. I fight to survive and thrive in life.  I am protective of my own. I seek to be strong for those I love. I am loyal to family and principles I hold dear. I seek rational action.  I can be patient with some things, but in the end, something has to be done and the man in me rises up to do it.  I strive for peace but prepare for war.  I am aggressive but strive to tailor that to the situation.

Heterosexual:

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I have actually taken tests in this regard and have a few personal experiences in life and have found I don’t really have any attraction to men sexually speaking at all. I don’t trust the motives of most men for one and I don’t like how they always see the big guy and need to posture and thump their chests trying for dominance over me.  Sorry there dude, – alpha male here.  Save your insecurities for someone who wants to respond to them.

Sexual orientation wise I like girls and don’t like guys.  I was kissed once by a homosexual man, and while I won’t say this is wrong morally, I found it personally distasteful.  Not my thing. The tests I have taken on this issue say I am 90% to 95% heterosexual. Sorry gentlemen I like ladies. In fact, I love women.

Gynephilic:

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While I have loved a few women very strongly in my life, I would have to say that I have been gynephilic since I hit puberty which for me happened early at about ten.  I love women in general and have ever since.  I am attracted to and admire femininity greatly.  It has gotten me in trouble so many times, but you know I don’t care.  It’s an addiction I will gladly keep because there is a lot of joy in it for me personally.

I love how women think, look, smell and act.  I like the way they walk and talk.  There is still something magical for me about the feminine and if that magic ever goes away, it is probably time for the dirt nap. I have no particular preferences either.  I can usually find the beautiful side of any woman who accepts their femininity in some way.

That’s probably the only turn off for me personally –  when a woman denies their femininity. Note I didn’t say tries to act like a man but denies who they really are.  You can act like a man and I still can know you are a woman because you do it without denying you are a woman.

I love women and it will probably be the death of me, but I will go with a smile on my face.

Egalitarian:

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I love women to the point I have no desire to dominate them or be dominated by them.  I want to stands as equals with them and I have always loved those moments where I and any woman have worked together; and because it was a woman/man partnership, it seemed actually to work much better than otherwise.

I have come to see through these moments how much better life is when we work together with our male and female strengths coming together to cover our weaknesses as human beings. We need each other and I find the constant bickering and rivalry troubling. While we should be fighting side by side against the chaotic forces of this world, this sexual rivalry, however, seems to rob us of what we could achieve.  Our survival and prosperity depend on us working with each other.

Conclusion:

I suppose as with all things INFJ, I am being idealistic here.  But someone has to do it. It is probably this sexual identity that keeps me looking for the perfect relationship which does not and probably cannot exist for me.  It is this idealism that explains why I go over the edge when I am in love.  But when I look at issues like sex, sexuality and the issues that are related, I must admit I see them through the filter of my own sexual identity.  So what you see written in Freya’s Chambers should be read in that light.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Pack Mentality” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 16

Happy Thor’s Day!

Rogue Wizard’s Journal – September 10th, 2019

Well, it’s been a helluva three days.  Time to write a report of sorts so I can collect my thoughts about it all.

Amber got better and after a day, she had no symptoms of lycanthropy at all.  Apparently, our ‘sexual healing’ sessions have worked and I have transferred my antibodies to her.  Not that we have stopped the sessions.  What is it about sex that we human beings find so addicting given its two potential consequences are so long term.  Of course, now that this Trois love triangle is complete, it actually has had a few Trois sessions of lovemaking.  I don’t know about this sometimes, but we all seem happy about it and Amber is back up being who she was before.

This whole thing has made me realize that the cure for lycanthropy is right in the whole sexual magic thing.  In mage circles, it could literally spread by sexual activity.  I doubt however it would happen because it is outside the box thinking and The council has never been good at that but also it involves a much more open definition of relationships that are emotional and loving. It would require a lot of polyamory and even jumps across those boundaries of sexual mores.

The other issue is where the werewolf came from and we didn’t have to look very far for that one. Lunette shrunk down and put on her leaf clothes and took her tiny dagger and using her illusion magic, did a scout run. For my part, while she was away I set up my wards both on the cabin and sauna bathhouse as well as the path between the two. Anything gets too close and not only would it go off like an alarm in my head but some of my wards turned the crosser into fireballs if they were magical in nature.

This has been good because it has set all of our minds at ease about being surprised again.  So the sauna bath, skinny dipping has resumed.  The sauna bath is now getting used for more than bathing activity now but still we get clean in the end and cooled off in the lake before coming back to the cabin.

We are still all on edge a little.  The werewolf has done one thing for sure and that is it makes us a little more aware of what is going on around us.  Today though Lunette returned from her scouting run, and after taking off her leaves, grows back to normal size.  She was back a little early and that’s when she reported that she found the lair of the werewolves.  A little cabin of their own about five miles away.  She figured there were still five of them.  Most of them were sleeping when she had been there, but there had been one on guard duty and being a werewolf was quite alert.

We now know where they are, and our own little pack is ready for some wolf hunting. I like wolves normally and werewolves, when they are first werewolves, are still pretty much themselves. It the slow rot of the human side of them that makes them dangerous. Some can hold this off for decades but it is inevitable in the end that they become feral.

Our plan is to attack them tomorrow during the day.  This doesn’t necessarily make them weaker just werewolves are usually up all night because they are the moon’s children.  They stay up in the early and later parts of the day much like most people do with the night.  If we hit them in the middle of the day, the element of surprise might help us even the odds at first.  We are all in agreement about what needs to be done which is eliminate them.  We have our own pack mentality.

I have my concerns though.  This is going to draw attention. Attention that we don’t need.  However, if they discover where we are and that we killed one of their own, they will be out for blood.  Their pack mentality demands vendetta and revenge.  Better to attack them first than wait for them to attack us.

Hopefully, there will be another journal entry tomorrow.

Writer’s Notes: 

While I haven’t written on this, people might be asking me a personal question right about now.  Would you actually ever be a part of a polyamorous relationship?  The answer is ‘yes’. But not presently.  My wife and I are under vows which involve exclusivity which I honor because of my belief in Fidelity and Honor so I keep my vows based on this. Now understand as an atheist/agnostic type, the fact those vows were made before ‘God’ does not matter anymore to me,  What matters is my own word and keeping it as much as possible regardless when that word was given.  

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That said, as a libertarian and now free thinker, I think marriage and the whole licensing and vows things is both unnecessary and a con job.  It is mostly done for religious control reasons, legal reasons (which could be handled by a lawyer and a contract instead) and the states attempt to take rights from you and then make money licensing them back to you. That’s right folks, there is nothing that says I love and trust you like getting the state and religion to give their nod that it is Ok for you to be in a relationship with each other (sarcasm flag). Sorry, you can live with each other, have sex and have children and none of that requires a license or shouldn’t.  The commitment to each other thing is going to be what it is regardless of license, vows or rings.  

But getting back to the personal question, I think it is good for a person to get rid of things like jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to another person. It seems to me that you are getting closer to unconditional love when you do that.  If such love is even possible. So yes I would, but right now I am under my own virtues of honor and fidelity to love only one woman – my wife.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Polyamory” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Orientation

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.  

Discussion:

Polyamory is an interesting topic because it calls into question the need for societal mores in relationship to romance and sex. I have looked at the subjects of polygamy in the Bible and other related issues and came to the conclusion that from a Biblical point of view as long as everyone was in a marriage relationship and there was no homosexual activity, the Bible allowed for it. But now that I would say the Bible is out and I am looking for a more rational viewpoint of romance and relationships in sexual content.  Along these lines there are only three considerations: 1) Is is consensual, 2) have reasonable precautions been implemented, 3) Are the people involved emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the relationship.  See the source image

Polyamory is pretty much about the consensual sex and romance with multiple partners.  Unlike many relationships that are multi individual in nature, this is out in the open and everyone agrees to it.  There is no ignorance and no one is being forced to be a part of it and no one is being placed in a position where they have to hide anything. It is really the way freedom should be in that there are no restrictions and no secrets. Polyamory passes the first test as that is the point of it – multiple consensual relationships without secrets.

The second issue is that of reasonable precautions being taken.  The two main issues are STDs and pregnancy.  In reading a majority of practitioners of polyamorous relationships the STD question is part of the reason they desire openness as far as no secrets and this means everyone gets to talk about it and when someone new is brought in they have a lot of questions and those in such relationship tend to stay in a prescribed circle because it is more than just them they are protecting.  In any case, the whole point is to establish a boundary and stay within it even though the relationship is polyamorous.  Letting someone in that boundary is a group decision and that’s a pretty effective protection against STDs.

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In the case of pregnancy what you read is pretty much either the whole group takes responsibility for the children if they happen or everyone agrees it is group decision as well to open up the possibility if one of the girls wants to get pregnant.  Until then the girl needs to be responsible for her own reproductive system and quite frankly in the modern western world, there is really no excuse for an unwanted pregnancy anymore.  There really isn’t and that means the statement “My body; my choice” comes with the counter – “Your choice, your responsibility.”  In any case, from the standpoint of polyamory, this is another group discussion.

If you are starting to get the idea that communication has to be very high in these kinds o relaitonships I would say ‘correct’.  It shows people in such relationships have to meet the final criteria of being emotionally mature enough to handle the fact that you are loved by many and love many.  Jealousy, control, and envy can’t really be present. You have to be happy when you are being loved by someone and when they love someone else. You have to love the love you receive and get and are also loving enough to let others love each other.

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More directly, you have to be Ok with the fact that the guy or gall you had sex with that night could be having sex with someone else in the relationship that morning.  While you could make love to another person that same morning. The sexual options are one of the main reasons that people get in these relationships and most of the polyamorous writers I have read don’t believe that humans are naturally monogamous.  That reality accepted they simply are being honest in the relationship they have entered.

I put this under sexual orientation for the simple reason that is it possible that some people are sexually oriented to be open lovers?  To be people who can love many people and make love to many people without being possessive or close-minded or even manipulative?  Is it possible that one sexual orientation is a ‘natural lover’?  I have to think it is possible and I can’t see any reason to think evil of such people because of it.

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I guess the honesty of this type of relationship is a step up by quite a bit from the sneaking around and cheating that is also polyamorous but no one but the cheater is aware of it. That is far more dangerous and disastrous than a group of people who say ‘let’s just set all the secrecy aside and be open about the fact all of us love more than one person here’.  It is the consent and agreement to the simple idea that some people are romantically and sexually capable of loving more than one person at once, and that is entirely OK and you don’t have to stop doing it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Wolfsbane” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 15

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizards Journal – September 7th, 2019

Amber definitely has lycanthropy and Lunette and I have been debating what to do.  I hope the ‘cure’ I just tried with Amber works but it is probably going to take a couple days to know for sure. But I am getting ahead of myself and should take this in order.

Amber displayed the restless sleep and the rapidly dilating pupils on the first day.  She woke up screaming the second night.  Then I knew she had it as I have been there.  Lunette for her part at that point created a magical potion from Wolfsbane that is supposed to slow the progress of the disease but the inevitable march would come so the three of us one day sat down to debate what to do.

The first thing we talked about was not Amber’s disease, but the possibility of a werewolf pack being around.  We continued our routine as much as possible including the skinny dipping but we were now much more watchful and we did it earlier during the day saving night time for discussion time.

I set up some wards on the cabin and sauna shed and the path between the two. they would give me a warning buzz in my head if anything got too close. Skinny dipping in daylight would have been interesting but it was now more about a quick cool off before retiring quickly to the cabin.  Our relaxing time had been interrupted by actual danger and that had us all on edge.

Last night we talked about what to do about Amber’s developing lycanthropy.  She, of course, did not want to be a werewolf despite the power.  You slowly but inevitably go feral and there are only a couple cures. The one used on me required killing a werewolf draining its blood and the magical power of Mrs. W. who used both healing and mental magic on me to affect the cure which involved bathing in the blood of the werewolf. The whole ritual died when she did, so that was out.

This, of course, brought out all the other known cures real or legendary.  One of note involved a ritual of wolfsbane potions and a magical altar that reputedly a mage had built for the express purpose of curing lycanthropy. No one knew if it was even real.  Some healing mages of the past and developed enough power to cure it but that was legendary.  Most of the rest were dreams of desperation.

In the end, the discussion turned to me and my antibodies. Mostly how we could use them to cure Amber.  I wasn’t sure how that could happen.  Mrs. W. and I never talked about this and I had always assumed that it was because it was irrelevant, but I had to now consider the possibility that had I been brought forward to cure others it would have tipped people off to my existence a long time ago and that boys and girls would have led to my death.

Now though that the Council was very well aware of my existence, it seemed that this discussion would have been helped if I had approached people with healing magic and asked but I never thought to do so.

How does one normally transfer antibodies from one person to another? Well, you can make a serum from the blood.  But that requires a lab and in this case, a full alchemy lab which we didn’t have access to and would take a lot of energy and time which might reveal where we were. Amber wouldn’t hear of it. Transfusion?  There were other issues most notably biological blood type but more importantly for us, the equipment we didn’t have.

Suddenly Lunette laughed. Amber and I raised eyebrows and watched her for a minute as she chuckled endlessly, then she spoke.

“Fluid transfer, that’s all we need.”

“Ok, Lunette what are you getting at?”  Besides the fact, Amber and I think you have just lost it.”

“Remember when you almost died Edward from that poison blade? How did we cure you?”

“How could I forget?  I lost my virginity and learned to supercharge my healing powers at the same time. Well basically I had sex with you, that’s also how you got those wings of yours.”

“Yep, but the sexual exchange is what did it.  It is the only thing inherently magical about what humans and in particular mages do.  Sexual magic is the key to making it work.  You just need to use it to transfer the antibodies to Amber and you can do it through a combination of magic and sex.

“Now…”

But my voice trailed off as I saw Amber’s eyes.  She had that look on her face where she felt excited but awkward at the same time.  She knew I wanted to take that part of our relationship a little slower. At the same time, she was afraid of what was happening to her and she wanted to make love to me a long time ago.

“Ok. how does that work exactly?”

Lunette explained that the antibodies were magical in nature and that they would be present in all my bodily fluids. The trick would be to get them to magically jump from me to Amber.  This would require natural magical energy and both Amber and myself to focus on what healing skill we had through it.

“Basically Edward you have to do what you did back then and Amber has to open herself up to the transfer with her own healing magic. The sexual act provides the energy boost and the means of transfer. Sexual healing at its finest.”

I had to admit her logic was sound.  I had gone over again and again about how I had not died that time so long ago and it came down to the supercharged nature of the sexual exchange between fairies and mages.  It saved my life and gave Lunette new wings.  The old pink and light purple ones had been ripped off by Elpis.  They had been replaced by these black and dark purple ones and I had a hand in that.

I got up and moved closer to Amber.

“A long time ago, I resisted what Lunette is talking about.  I tried everything else and in the end, it didn’t;t matter.  Practical sexual magic won the day and healed us both.  I am alive because of it.  Now, here you are Amber and my feelings of love for you are brand new. You also have a horrible disease that right now is just beginning to take hold of you.  It is weak and my temptation is to try some other way because it is weak, but every time I do that I regret just going full-on and getting it over with. So, if you think it is worth a try my love, I am willing to try as well.  I mean I am not asking you to do anything horrible but it might be for nothing.  I just wanted more time to get to know you better before we did this.”

“Oh, Edward… I have wanted to make love to you for a couple months.  It’s not me that I worry about.  It’s rushing you.  I love you too much to do that, but I don’t want to be a werewolf either and this does make a lot of sense.  It’s rushing you that doesn’t sit well with me.”

I nodded.  Then I stood up.  And put out my hand.  She took it and I led her into the bedroom with the double bed. No door but I slid the curtain across the doorway and I head Lunette leave the cabin. I took Amber in my arms.

“Gentle, I still am a little sore from my wounds”, she remarked.

“Absolutely, gentle and loving, my love.”

I am not the kind of guy who kisses (or has sex with a girl) and tells.  So, no details other than I am now sitting here in the early morning. looking at her naked body laying in the middle of the bed.  As soon as I finish this entry, I am going to cuddle back up with her and wake her up in a style more befitting a lover.

I hoped this worked.  Lunette is in the other room sleeping on the single bed.  She seems at peace. as well.  I can feel it – love for both of them.  I don’t know where the future leads, but I want them both with me.

Writer’s Notes:

The only thing I am going to comment on is the idea that a person can love romantically more than one person.  given my own experience, I say it is very possible to do so.  It is only our western society that says it is wrong, but I have yet to find any traditional reason to say so.  One form of sexual orientation is bisexual and that kind of assumes a Trois relationship for such a person to be satisfied completely.  I also think that it is more of an ownership thing of saying you control someone else’s sexuality and you don’t simply because you are lovers.

The one thing I think is for certain is the human race is not naturally faithfully monogamous. We have to work at it and that makes things unnatural at times. I suppose if we git rid of jealousy, envy, and desires to control sex and sexuality, it wouldn’t be a problem. But here we are – the human race – flawed and unhappy because of it.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Behind Enemy Lines” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 11

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal: June 12, 2019

Wow, it has been a while since I have written in this journal.  Mostly because it has been boring as shit. Sure there was an initial buzz after the Red Grove Tree was finally laid to rest in flames, but then the reports became dull.  The fairie folk as predicted stopped fighting so hard for the salient that was trying to fight for the tree.  The wizards for their part advanced into the grove only to find the tree burning in magical fire.  It burned up quickly and a day later there was truly nothing left.

As far as the war went, the fae pulled back to a line they could defend better with fewer casualties.  The wizards saw this and now that there was no strategic objective in the area, they sent many of their forces elsewhere. The line stabilized and then most of the fighting stopped in this area.

Lunette and I moved fully the House Venus Mansion.  Lunette took the room next to mine, but mostly she just slept there.  The rest of the time she was with me talking (yes, talking) or she would turn invisible, shrink down and fly out and do some recon work.  For my part, I visited the Lioness when she was at the mansion or talked with Amber.  I was keeping a very close eye on what was going on and my ‘allies’.  I wasn’t going to be caught again unprepared.

Lunette’s recon trips brought back the information about how the lines had stabilized in the area. I also had committed a high crime in the faerie world, so there was a bounty on my head with them now.  A rather large one.  So I was behind enemy lines no matter where I was now. The search for me had all but disappeared because the mages had larger problems elsewhere.

I have spent the last few months doing one of the following. Reading and studying magical tomes and doing magical research.  Talking with Lunette and Amber about the situation. Finishing up my political science degree.  I received it in late May. Keeping up family appearances by visiting them once a week and calling them.  They call me more than I call them.

Lunette didn’t just do recon trips all the time.  She did set up a small alchemy station in my room. She did her own reading and research.  She seems a little happier now.  That kiss was the start of that but we haven’t done anything but hold hands since. She respects my mourning period for my wife and hasn’t pushed it.  She seems very much interested in building our trust level.

Two days ago would have been my wife and I’s 30th anniversary. May 1st was the end of the six months, but I decided that it might be more appropriate for me to end this period of mourning on our anniversary itself.  So two days ago. I opened a small chest that I have with stuff in it that reminds me of her. A few pictures of us, some jewelry, a negligee she used to wear.  I laid it all out on the table in front of me.  Tears were easy on this one.

I took off my wedding band and laid it in the negligee. I folded it around the band and then placed it back in the chest, I put the pictures and other jewelry on top, and closed the lid. I cast a protection spell on the chest.  Only I or my immediate family could open it now.  I set the chest near my reading chair. I cried myself to sleep that night and when I woke up I felt better.  I felt at peace about the whole thing, my wife finally laid to rest in my heart.

Last night, Lunette was with me and she looked nervous. I asked her what was up and she said she wanted to respect that even though she knew I had laid my wife to rest, at last, she didn’t want to push our relationship.  I asked her what kind of relationship she thought we could have and what kind of relationship did she want with me?

“I think I love you, Edward.  For the first time, my lecherous pixie heart loves someone and I think it is you.”

“Love? I don’t know Lunette, is that even possible for your kind?  Fidelity, particular sexual fidelity doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.”

“Would you demand sexual fidelity out of me?  Do you still hold that morality?”

“Honestly, no.  Fidelity has not much to do with sex if you ask me. It is far more important to be there for someone when they need you.  To be in their corner even when they disappoint you.  That’s real fidelity. Sex is a wonderful experience to be sure, but it is also just sex.  I don’t want to sound like I am diminishing its importance, but fidelity is measured more when the chips are down and you need someone to watch your back, not on where you stick your dick or who you spread your legs too.  I don’t think it is right to say you have some exclusive ownership to someone else’s sexuality, sounds kind of like a miniature form of slavery if you ask me now.”

“You maintained it with your wife, even after death.”

“Yes, but those were the vows I took, so I tried my level best to keep them.  I never slept with any other females but you, Elpis and her.  I loved Miss Salty too, but I never had sex with her although I can’t say the relationship didn’t have sexual elements to it, it certainly did. I came back to my wife so the vows we took were back in force.  That said my dear, you might say I have come, in part, to the more fairy way of thinking about the subject of sex now. I am simply not a one-night stand kind of guy. I have to feel I have a relationship with a woman that is loving for me to make love to her. There is still a spiritual side to it to me, a magical side if you will, and it’s not just a physical humping in the dark thing to me.”

Lunette smiled and nodded.

“Edward, I know I have tricked you a couple times, do you trust me?”

“Hmm.  I don’t know. You are a deceitful little spy these days.  Good at it too.  On what basis could you and I trust one another.  I don’t know what side you are on right now.  Like me, you are wanted by both sides.”

“There are three sides to this one Edward.  There is also the side of peace and coexistence.  Not just between fae and mage, but also with mundanes. ”

“You think the mundanes will be comfortable with creatures walking around that can kill them with a thought or spell or that are from their deepest nightmares?”

“No, not at first, but magic can be awakened in everyone. If that is so then, the idea of mundanes might be gone in time as well.”

She had a point, it was my turn to nod because this had been my working theory since high school.

“But to answer your question I am on the side of the survivors. I want you and me to survive.  But if you need more proof of my loyalty to you: I swear by the memory of my mother and father and the Red Tree Grove, that I will guard and protect you Edward and I will be a supporter of you through all of your remaining life – My troth upon it.”

I sat in silence for a minute or two.

“Hmm, sounds like an oath.  I guess I will say the same to you as it is only fair. My troth upon it.”

We sat and talked for a little while longer. Basically making sure we were on the same page and then both of us turned in for bed.  Well, I thought that is what Lunette was doing. I was down to my underwear when a knock came at the door.

“Edward, it’s me again”

I threw my t-shirt back on and told her to come in. She was wearing a purple robe that was tied and went down to her mid-thigh.

“Edward isn’t it customary to seal oaths in some way?”

“Yes.”

Lunette pulled her robe back and let it fall to the floor, revealing her naked body.

“Once, a long time ago, I offered myself to you like this.  You turned me down and told me to go home.  I thought afterward that you were a strong man to do such a thing. Now, I offer myself to you again.  Not as a star-struck teenage girl, but as a woman. A woman in love with you. A woman who wants to give her strength to you, and receive it in return.”

I stood dumb for a second.  I remembered what she was talking about.  I wasn’t ready for sex at the time so I turned her down.  But now…

“Lunette, we were lovers once.  It was about healing back then and lust, to be honest. But now, if you truly love me.  Do what your heart says for you to do. I will do the same.”

This morning I have awoken to find myself lying next to a beautiful faerie woman.  I can see her naked form laying sideways on the bed as she sleeps from my desk.  Her wings are behind her and folded so I can’t see them.  She is a vision of beauty and glowing in her own way. I feel the love I had for her once awakening in me again. Dormant but never gone. That’s just the way I am.

I don’t know what the future will bring,  But, I know that Lunette will be back to back with me in the end.  I can only hope we will remain survivors.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Funeral Pyre” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 10

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal: January 25th, 2019 (cont.)

Of course, I hesitated for a moment, magical flames licking the edge of my fingers.  The Grove had been my childhood place of growing up in my magical powers.  It has been the place where my love and lover Elpis had been.  Where we talked, laughed and loved.  She had in many ways turned me into a man. Now, I was about to destroy the only thing left that represented any kind of anchor to the past.  The last physical remnant to my magical childhood.

It hadn’t all been good.  I suddenly realized I was standing the very place where Elpis had pronounced judgment on Lunette and removed, very forcibly, her wings.  That whole thing led to Lunette and I having healing sex to cure me of magical disease, but the magic released also restored Lunette’s wings to the current state they were in.  It was one of the most intense physical and magical moments of my life. It happened in the grove, but I was fairly sure, that Lunette’s parents’ home was gone.  This twisted trunk was all that was left. An old throne, scars and a place of love turned to a dead coldness.  How symbolic of my relationship to Elpis.

I glanced over to Lunette, our eyes met and she nodded.  Then she looked away. I turned my attention back to the tree.  My thoughts were racing and then I remembered the day Elpis cast me out of the Grove for good, my wife’s death and the breakup I had with Miss Salty. Anger welled up in me. Fire.  The Fire of Fury.

“Amber.  Now!!!”

Flames burst from my fingertips.  Red and orange.  As they touched the tree, I could see it illuminated from the other side by Amber’s flames.   The flames from both sides burst quickly up the trunk.  After a few minutes, I stopped casting my spell. It was no longer necessary as the tree’s magic was now providing the fuel for the fire. Soon the whole trunk was a burning beacon. The heat became quite intense. Elpis never allowed fire in the grove, and now I could see why in full glory.  I didn’t have to tell Amber to stop as the heat required me and Lunette to back up some distance away and Amber joined us. We watched it burn.

“Well, the fae can stop spending so many lives to protect this place now from the hands of the wizards.”

Lunette’s voice was cracked, coming in gasps through her sobs.   I said nothing.  The tears were rolling down my face like rivers.  We watched as the flames began to consume the trunk.  Soon the whole thing was in flames and burning brightly.  The magic of the tree being consumed by our magical fire.

Amber seemed a little distraught herself.

“Ed, this whole place is going to become very active, very soon with either fae or wizards. It’s not going to be safe for much longer.”

“Amber, we have a little time.  This is a funeral pyre and it would be disrespectful to leave too early.”

Amber nodded and walked a little ways away from us, and I felt Lunette’s hand in mine. She grasped it with some desperate strength.

“What do you think really happened to Elpis, Edward?”

“She lost her fight with her inner demons.  She came to hate who she was and then did what she had to end that part of her life. Suicide.  But as an immortal, she couldn’t do that as a dryad.  She had to become human.  So she did, in a way.  Her ghost will either slowly dissipate over time, or if her unfinished business is resolved, she will fade forever. She is still out there, I think, but there is no going back to where she was now, ever.”

“Well, the fae can stop fighting for this bulge in the line now.  They can pull back.”

“That’s bad news for me.  I am going to have to start living at the Mansion full time.”

“That has it’s own dangers”

“Tell me about it, but I am hoping to enact the plan soon. I need to disappear for my family’s sake.”

“Or die.  I am not trying to be shocking, Edward.  Because that would end the feud and then the Council would not give two shits about your family.”

“You didn’t shock me, dear.  I know that would solve the issue too.  Death will come for me in her own good time. I will embrace her as if I was laying down in bed with a beautiful woman.  I just see no need to do it myself with so many enemies.  One of them is probably going to get me.  I just hope I am in a position to return the favor.”

Lunette moved in and I put my arm around her waist as she leaned against me.  We watched the flames for a little longer. Amber broke our reflective moment.

“Edward, I sense that this is attracting attention.  From both sides.  Scouts will be here soon and we need not to be.”

“You’re right, just give us one more moment.”

I turned to face Lunette and she me.  My arms went instinctively around her waist, and she put hers around my neck. I kissed her. I felt my magic get supercharged and she probably had the equivalent to a micro-orgasm, but we both needed to feel better and so a kiss was needed. I pulled back after a little bit.

“We need to go Lunette, there is going to be nothing left anyway.”

With that, Lunette, Amber and I headed back to the Mansion. The last remnants of the Red Tree Grove burning behind us.

Author’s Notes: Before this week, I hadn’t touched this chapter since May 27th, 2019.  I think the whole Grey Storm thing just made it too difficult to write. I was also wrestling with how to do this.  In the end, this chapter is simply a funeral for a character made as a labor of love and because of that love causes me pain now personally and as a writer.  Elpis needs to be gone as much as possible, but she had to go with my own writer’s hand.

As I mentioned before this saga as a whole is probably going to come to an end very soon. The whole thing with the ‘death’ of the main character.  I am putting ‘death’ in quotes because I want to still leave some air of mystery to this. You have to read the rest to know the true end of the Rogue Wizard.

Emotionally it’s hard for me to let go.  I loved every moment of writing the Hedge Wizard of Redberg and Rogue Wizard is basically the endgame of that. It means letting go for good and moving on and I have a hard time with that when it comes to writing. But closure in this whole Miss Salty/Elpis relationship is going to come slowly I think for me, but I also think I can make it come a little sooner by closing this whole thing out and ending it.  It will give me fewer memory triggers if I do, but I have to trigger some memories to get there.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Freya’s Chambers: Introduction and Opening Thoughts” – Freya’s Chambers

Happy Mani’s Day

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.

Opening Remarks: 

In today’s modern world, sexuality is a difficult topic, to say the least.  The issue of gender and identity ignites more heat than light and I am not sure that today I am going to help with that.  That’s not the point for me in this post anyway, but more to get a grasp on my own thoughts on the subject by introducing a running discussion. I also want to introduce to you a new topic area which, in keeping with the Norse theme of the blog, I have titled simply “Freya’s Chambers”. Freya is the Norse goddess of war, love, sex, and fertility. It will have its own page and will appear periodically whenever the yen strikes me to write on subjects relating to sexuality in pagan thought.

I need also to point out at the beginning that these are my thoughts on the subject and don’t necessarily represent all pagans, deists or humanists.  In fact, that is part of my motivation for writing on these topics is to sort pagan sexuality out a little because viewpoints on these topics are varied.  The main issue though is that for most pagans, sexuality and spirituality are linked because sexuality is a part of life and living and thus part of the universe that is sacred. Sexuality is as much a spiritual reality as a physical and cultural one. Sacred Sex is a part of the spiritual viewpoint of pagans.

I also have to note that my deism and humanism kick in here as well as the fact I don’t dismiss the findings of biology, psychology or science in general when it comes to talking about gender, sex or sexuality.  I try very much to realize that we do have some scientific findings on the subject that presents both facts and truth in these areas.  I also realize that there is much that is not understood, and this dwells in the realm of spirituality and theory and these also factor in for discussion.

One final note, I was very well known as a Chrisitan blogger who wrote extensively on what the Bible says about sex, nudity, sexuality, and gender.  I have to warn you that my departure from Christianity has changed a lot of my viewpoints.  I have no appeal to authority anymore when it regards these topics.  Mostly I rely on my reason and experience on the deist/humanist side and my intuition and wisdom for the pagan side.  Some might comment at this time that it looks like I am trying to archive male-female balance in my viewpoint.  I am not sure about that but one thing is for sure, that you will see a massive viewpoint shift in these topics compared to what I used to write as a Christian.

So what will be some of the topics in Freya’s Chambers?  Well, sex and sexuality are broad topics to be sure, but below is a shortlist and a little discussion of where I am currently on some topics as examples.  This is not an exhaustive list of course, but I think it will give you a good idea of what you might encounter when you see the suffix heading “Freya’s Chambers”.

Sexual Identity: 

See the source image

I am going to say that if I take science into account, this whole discussion of gender identity for me kind of crystalizes into a few indisputable facts: 1) If you have a penis you are male, 2) If you have a vagina you are a female and 3) males and females are different.  Even pagans have ingrained in there viewpoint the idea of feminine and masculine spiritual forces.  It is part of the mythologies, part of the spiritual viewpoint.

For me, it is also a question of acceptance of self.  You don’t find spiritual peace by trying to be something you are not. Part of achieving spiritual peace is embracing who are and part of that is accepting that you are a man or a woman. There are exceptions to this dichotomy, even genetics tells us that, but such exceptions are rare and not the statistical norm.  The vast majority of us are male or female and that is not just physical but also sociological and psychological

Note this is about identity for me, not orientation.  Personally whether or nor someone’s sexual orientation is a choice or ingrained in who they are is irrelevant to me.  It matters little to me as a deistic humanist pagan, and as a libertarian, who someone has sex with as long as it is mutually consensual. Their business, not mine. I trust that each person can make those choices for themselves, and I am not qualified in any way to judge them right or wrong in their choice.

Nudity and Nudism:

See the source image

Leaving Christianity has allowed me to basically discard the whole tightrope walk of trying to look at nudity and where you fall into sin. Sin is gone in my thinking, so nudity is now looked at as purely as rational and pagan issues.  Things are actually quite free and open now for me on this topic.  Most pagans don’t have a view of nudity as wrong, just sometimes culturally unacceptable by others and in certain contexts. The human body is a beautiful thing and the naked human form should not automatically be seen as sexualized.

Don’t get me wrong there is a sexual side to nudity. To say that seeing a naked human being does not arouse sexual attraction at times is simply to deny reality. But just because a man or woman is naked; it does not follow that they are asking for sex.  Some people learn to distinguish between sexual intent and nudity and some people don’t.  For me the two can be together, but not necessarily.  It really comes down to context. Just because a person is naked, it does not mean that I can look past respecting them as a human being.  I should see their humanity first, then other things and only if it is clear those other things are presented to me.

For me, being an at-home nudist, I have discovered freedom I accepting myself to be very powerful.  I have to also admit, that I sometimes feel far more comfortable in my skin than in clothes. There is also the dual call in my heart, my inner wolves of need and want howling if you will, to shed my clothes both outside and with others. If my self-discovery has grown this much simply at home, I wonder what else could be discovered in other contexts. It is something I wrestle with because of past religious indoctrination and current relationships.

Masculine-Feminine Balance:

There is a reason I am not Wiccan and it was my perception very early on, even as a Christian, that Wiccans are imbalanced as far as gender. There is much emphasis on The Goddess and little else that is masculine.  Hell, their male practitioners argue whether they should be called witches or warlocks.  I just find Wicca to be very feminine and strongly so.  It is why Asatru is my choice because it is much more balanced.

Achieving balance for myself mostly involves making sure I embrace the strength of being a man within my self and the strength of the feminine around me. I get most of the later from the women in my life whose influence can not be understated.  I am very masculine with all that goes with it.  To have feminine perspectives in my life to balance that out is appreciated at all times.

Equality: 

See the source image

The whole ‘God the head of man, man the head of woman’ Christian viewpoint I have discarded like the patriarchal trash it is.  Talk about men writing a book to justify their male dominance over women, and you will not get a better example than the Bible.  I am egalitarian in my orientation and that means I will point out equality in both directions.  However, you also better be able to demonstrate the inequality is real with things like research.  That said, the genders have different strengths in and of themselves, but I don’t feel that one gender should have cultural, legal or social advantages over the other because of them.

For instance, on the one hand, women can rightly say that their roles in society are often forced on them.  There have definitely been some issues as far as to pay, opportunity and the like. On the flip side, the fact that men get longer sentences for the same crime and dower laws still exist requiring a man to take care of his ex after they split, but no such condition exists the other way, is also not equality.  In the United States where I live it has only been recently been challenged that men can be drafted for war but not women.

Going back to nudity above, I side with the ladies in saying if a man can take off his shirt and go bare-chested in certain public places, so should a woman.  On the flip side, the laws are less harsh when it comes to sexual misconduct when a woman exposes her genitals than a man in some states.  My point is that the whole social, cultural and legal world has these inequalities and I fight for their removal but it goes both ways.  It might be summed up in the simple example we need to move from saying: “it is not right to hit or rape a woman” to “it is not right to hit or rape another person”.

Gender Roles:

See the source image

Inequalities aside, genetics, science and such tell me that males and females not only are different right from birth, but they also tend to gravitate to different roles in society naturally. Some of these tests have been interesting as girls would dress up the trucks in dresses and boys would turn the dolls they were given to play with into action figures.  I don’t think we can escape the fact that in society women and men embrace certain roles naturally and some roles are just not possible by one gender or the other. We need to be equals as far as legal and societal rights; but in the end, some things just come naturally to one gender or the other.

I take on the feminists on this issue a lot where, for instance, they complain that there are not a lot of women CEOs.  I point out to them there doesn’t seem to be a lot of women coal miners or sewer workers either. It gets comically interesting when it is revealed that what a feminist considers equality doesn’t involve jobs that are dangerous or dirty most of the time. It is pretty clear that men gravitate toward the dangerous and dirty while women like secure and clean.  It is also clear that on dates, the man is still expected to pay for things, etc.  I think feminists reveal a lot of hypocrisy on this one and even women can see it, which is why many women refuse to identify themselves as feminists.

Sex:

See the source image

If you ask me the one thing that keeps me believing in the spiritual side of life above all others – it’s sex. Sorry, there is more to sex, at least to me, than just fucking.  Perhaps my perspective has been limited by the fact I have only made love physically to only one woman in my life, or perhaps it is why I feel that way.  One thing I do know that more is exchanged between us when we make love than bodily fluids.

I will talk about sex from time to time in a spiritual context. In this, you might also see the idea of sexual attraction as well. Under this topic, you might find other things like the effect technology has had on sex, etc.  I have had a few experiences of a sexual nature outside sexual intercourse with more than one woman along these lines, so there are notes that could be made.

Conclusion and Final Word: 

Throughout you will see me make note of changes from what I thought before as a Christian and now what I think that I am using more of a deistic humanist pagan mindset. I probably will never speak this broadly again and will take one topic at a time from now on. Mostly today I was pretty much shooting from the hip.  New posts in this topic suffix will probably be deeper in thought.  Mostly though there is a lot of changing things in my mindset that I am trying to crystallize and the best way for me to do that is to put them on digital paper.

Welcome to Freya’s Chambers.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Objections to Christianity – Part 2 – Sin: An Imaginary Man-Made Problem” (Revised August 2019) – Odin’s Eye – Theological Objections to Christianity

Happy Thor’s Day

August 2019 Revision Notes:

It has been almost a year since I wrote these originally starting in November of 2018.  When I got to the rotation in Odin’s Eye the last time where I was going to deal with these objections again, I saw no need for revision but rather simply laid it out there that no one had responded to them to that date and moved on into the rest of the Rotation for Odin’s Eye. 

This time though I feel that I need to spend four weeks of Odin’s Eye doing some revisions that will either clarify my position, add some other thoughts or edit for other issues.  Such edits will be marked by italics.  When archived, they will appear under the original post on this Page: My Four Theological Objections to Christianity

 Mostly though this is a cut and paste with some revisions. As the series goes on there will be more revisions as I can see the need for things to change a bit in the other three objections. In part two, I felt the need to add a few paragraphs for hopefully a clearer explanation. 

Introduction:

My loss of faith really started here.  I can actually go back to a message I was preaching on sin and salvation through Christ and the fact this quote from Dan Barker from Losing Faith in Faith ( a book I still want to read) was rolling around in my head.  I was trying to think of something that would make his assertion wrong.  I got up preached the message and sat down.  I can site this moment as the time my crisis of faith began. I realized he was right.

I realized there is no proof that sin rationally exists.  I only believed that because that was what I was told by a preacher and read it in the Bible.  Unless the Bible was truly inspired, then I had no natural or logical proof that there was this thing called sin, a sinful nature or my actions were righteous or sinful. God Himself had never come down and told me I was a sinner, that was men either in the form of preachers or the men who wrote the Bible.  Over time, I began to realize that sin has the same problem as the inspiration of the Bible – the Bible asserts it but never proves it.

Going back to my pulpit moment, I sat there thinking and my faith started to unravel.  I sat there thinking: “I make a living by telling people they are sinners so they will feel guilty, then they accept the ‘gospel’ and feel better.  Out of gratitude they throw money in the basket and pay me. WTF.”  It was a bad moment for me, and one that led to my eventual downfall over two years later.

Faith:

If you are a believer you take the existence of sin as purely a matter of faith.  Basically, if you believe that sin exists, you do it for the same reasons you believe the Bible is inspired.  You have faith it is true – you hope and believe it is true, but you do not have a proof or a rational argument to say it is true.  The Bible writers assume sin is real and a problem.  They never prove it, and the believer is left to take that sin exists as a reality and that God has solved it.  You believe all that without rational evidence.  It is purely a matter of faith.

Now I want to emphasize that this does not disprove sin’s existence, but it puts on the same plane as believing in a lot of things that we believe exist but have no proof of.  The issue then is should we order our lives on faith in the idea that man is sinful, or go based on our own observations of human nature and conclude that if anything we can have faith in the fact that all human beings are human. 

Religion:

I now think that sin is a man-made concept.  It probably originally. like so many things might have had a good intention.  To keep people from making bad decisions given the cultural context.  I mean sex without birth control and modern medicine can lead to deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancies. So you tell people not to have sex except with people they are committed to and get married to so the child will be legitimate. The practical side of this is the lessened risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. It is a wise course of action.

When just showing the wisdom of this to others doesn’t work, you throw in the wrath of God to bring about a more forceful form of persuasion – tell them it’s a sin against God and He will bring down his wrath on the one who sins.  This is where you make up the concept that sexual sin is an affront to God and he will send you to hell if you don’t repent of it and stop doing it.  It is ultimately a fear tactic that uses guilt to prevent certain behaviors.

The dark side of this gets worse though as people genuinely think they’re taking the side of God when the punish sinners.  The real problem with sin is that some people think they have risen above the concept of it.  They feel qualified to judge others using their religious beliefs. It gets worse because the said concept can be held by people in power who wish to impose their views on people to create a ‘righteous society’.  To force others to follow your moral code of some behaviors being sin and thus outlawed. The problem is the difficulty using reason to prove something is a sin.  It’s not self-evident.

Theology:

I don’t believe in sin as a theological concept anymore. I think in large part it is a bad one because all it does is produce guilt and then in a guilt-ridden state people can be manipulated.  I haven’t looked at this fully but I have a theory a large part of religious people have a poor self-concept and that is because they have a large amount of guilt associated with their ‘sins’.  This leads them to think they are bad or even evil people and the cycle of self-destruction begins.  You spend a lot of time putting on masks at that point to protect yourself from the social wrath of being a sinner while at the same time being wracked with guilt because you can’t seem to escape your sin. If it sounds like I have been there – yep.  I would say a lot of my initial causes of depression came from this struggle.  Yes, I am saying that religion, particularly the Christian notion of sin,  may have has a great deal of influence in causing my depressive issues.

My theology about mankind has certainly changed since I discarded man as a sinner.  I don’t think of myself as a sinner but simply a human being. I am not all-powerful, all-knowing or all-present; so I am going to make mistakes and there is really nothing I can do about it. I have needs that are normal.  Wants that are normal.  I have my reason and wisdom to guide me. I am not perfect and I make mistakes and have errors in judgment, but that doesn’t mean I am a sinner, just human. To me, life is no longer about overcoming sin and removing it from my life.  Rather, it is about discovering the virtue in me and causing it to grow. And there is a virtue in who I am as a human being if I look for it and develop it.  It’s about growing into the best human being I can be.

Note: Unlike the atheist, I have not discarded the idea of a spiritual side to mankind at all, but rather I am saying that sin is not something I believe is real about it.  Humanity is more complicated than he is all bad or all good. 

Spirituality:

This is why spiritually speaking I spend more time meditating on the Nine Noble Virtues as a way to learn where I need to grow. I am not trying to get rid of sin out of my life, praying that God is gracious, etc. I have come to see some things as normal and human, not sinful.  My goal now is to build character, not remove sin because I think sin is a made up imaginary concept.  I meditate on the good things, not the bad things.  I grow the good in me, rather than trying to deny my humanity by calling it sinful. I find it makes me much happier and far more at ease in this world.

One good example of this is my changing attitudes about sex and sexual desire. I feel sexual desire is normal in humanity and it is normal to feel a sexual desire toward a lot of different people.  Lust is made up to me unless you are using the term to describe passionate sexual desire which is neither good nor bad. What might be a factor in sexual desires is wisdom and reason saying that not all sexual interaction is beneficial. Some of it could be detrimental.  The real issue is that sex in and of itself is not sinful in any form. Enjoy, but be smart and wise. 

In my case, sexual fidelity is part of my marriage because that is the oath I swore as a Chrisitan that I still honor. If it wasn’t, having sex with another woman would not necessarily be a violation of fidelity as there is no sin to it, but one might challenge my wisdom.  Like it or not people get jealous and envious and that can lead to relationship issues. There are also cultural expectations to consider which do have an effect on how a person is perceived. This is not about sin anymore is the point, but rather what effects it might have on relationships and troth issues may or may not be affected depending on the specific nature of oaths of fidelity. 

Conclusion:

After concluding that the Bible is a human book with no proof of inspiration and the sin is a concept made up by the writers of the Bible.  There are only two things left on my four objections to Christianity.  The first is the other imaginary thing the Bible creates which is the solution to sin being Salvation in Christ and finally, the god of the Bible seems to have very suspect standards of justice.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Songs About the Wolf Within” – The Skald’s Lyre

Happy Saturn’s Day

Musical Journal:

In the fantasy genre of literature, the wolf and werewolf are very symbolic of the wild untamed side of the human experience. There is a sensual and animalistic point to the image of a wolf or a man/woman transforming into a werewolf.  In the world of music, there are songs about this animalistic side of humanity and they often use the image of the wolf. It’s not coincidental that this is so the image of wolves and men is an old one and a very powerful one.

This Skald’s Lyre is a little different.  It is about a type of song that relates to the human experience coupled with one of my favorite genres of books and film – fantasy.  In particular the world of fantasy horror and the wolf and werewolf image.  The music attempts to capture this essence in both lyrics and setting the tone with the music. It often does a very good job at both.

Personal Significance:

Today I am not going to list my personal significance with each song as that is not really the point.  For me, there are simply some good songs that call to my animal side or remind me that I have one. For me, the image of the wolf is center to my heart and self-identity so that fits too.

I have had two conversations with women about men that reflect this point along the sexual side of things. Hey, whenever I write about sex it always gets attention.

1) “What the world needs are fewer wolves and more gentlemen.” – my response was pretty simple. “My dear, a gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf.” Sorry, there is no such thing as a man who has an interest in a woman where raw sexuality isn’t present. You can keep it domesticated on civil but that raw energy is what powers all the other aspects of the relationship.  As an author once said – “everything is about sex, except sex which is about something else.”  A gentleman is just a really patient strategically-minded wolf looking for a certain type of woman to bed. He is simply a patient hunter.

2) “Men are all dogs.” – I had two responses to this.  a) So are women, women are just as horny and sexual as men.  They just like men to work at it to get them because they want to feel desired. Nothing wrong with that, but to take the high minded route that women aren’t just as interested as men about getting laid is just hypocritical. b) Men are all canine to be sure, but some of them are more domesticated than others.  Some of us seek to be more true to our ancestors and be the wolf. We are just honest about it.  If being a wolf means I am a truly masculine male, then that is my desire.  As a woman, you are either going to accept that and lose your fear of it or you are going to try to domesticate your man out of fear of his wild side and in my opinion, make him less of a man. You would probably be better off accepting his wild side and work more on embracing your own.

For me, being as wolf-like as possible and staying honest about it is something I strive to both focus and embrace.  This isn’t just about being honest about being masculine or sexual but also about the stronger emotions of anger and rage.  The desire to fight for what you care about and desire. So on my playlist are a few songs about this wolf side of things – the animal within and that animal for me is the wolf.

Playlist:

Bark at the Moon – Ozzy Osborne:

Wolf and Man – Metallica:

Animal I Have Become – Three Days Grace:

Night of the Werewolves – Powerwolf:

Úlfhéðnar – Dervhengrym:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Halestorm” – The Skald’s Lyre

Happy Saturn’s Day

Musical Journal:

I have never wanted to be the guy that would yell at other people’s taste in music and say that their choice was a bad one or ‘that isn’t music’.  As much as I reach into the past in my musical tastes, I am always looking to the future and the new as well.

I discovered the band Halestorm early in 2018 and they became the band I would listen to a lot for well into the Fall.  Given all that was going on at the time, they kind of also set a thematic tone in some ways. Some of there songs are now associated with some memories both good and bad.  But that is the way music is.

Halestorm reminds me of a time of Rock and Roll that is hard, edgy and definitely rebellious. A female lead is always something interesting and the guitar work is first rate. Mostly though the topics of songs hit you right where you live.  I like them still and I find that Halestorm’s songs always have part of the message that hits me hard as their music. Lizzy Hale has that voice and the passion when she sings that does that.

Of course, all the songs are performed by Halestorm today.

Personal Significance:

Amen:

This is really for me a loss of faith song, but more than that it is a ‘you need to mind your own business song’.  The world is hard enough without busybodies and gossips. One of my anthems last year when shit was going down and it still is one of those songs that gets me in that same department of – “My Business, Fuck Off”

All I Want to Do (Is Make Love to You):

This is a cover but this is definitely one of those covers that is better than the original. The story of a one night stand that was deep and meaningful is one of the best ‘making love’ songs ever.  It is also one of those songs that never happened to me but sometimes you wish it had.

Familiar Taste of Poison

This one is a harder one because this is m break-up song with Miss Salty.  My last words to her if you will. It was definitely one of those relationships where I didn’t want to be saved or sober.  I didn’t want to wake up and then bam; it was over.  The hard cold reality of falling over dead.  I should have paid attention to the sweat taste of poison the whole time. Not her, not me – the relationship itself.

Ms. Hyde

Featured this one a couple weeks ago in Hard Rockin’ Girls. I think there is a certain part of me that likes the woman who is the perfect angel in public, but behind closed doors, she is a freak of sexual energy. That is what this song is about, the duality of the woman singing is just that: public – sweetheart, private – sexual freak. That’s when she is the monster in your bed.

Apocalyptic

As Breakup songs go, this one is kind of interesting. She is so done with the relationship but there is one thing she thinks the guy is good at – fucking.  She gives him one more night to make her miss it later.  But that this the apocalyptic part of it all – going out with a fire of passion and then it is over for good.

Playlist:

Amen:

All I Want to Do (Is Make Love to You):

Familiar Taste of Poison:

Ms. Hyde:

Apocalyptic:

Bonus Tracks:

“I Get Off”

So let me get this straight  You know a guy is watching you at night, but you like it?  You get off on it. Ok,

Here’s To Us

One final toast.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!