A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Final Resolve

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It’s also the second night of Yuletide.  The Night of the Wild Hunt sacred to Odin and ancestors. We remind ourselves of how important hearth and home is as it is the only thing that can protect someone from The Hunt. The Hunt that begins on Samhain and continues to the end of the year with Oath Night sweeping everything before it. We remember Perseverance as one of the Nine Noble Virtues. Today is also the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. It only gets brighter from here. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose it has been an interesting week.  Trying to get some things finalized for school, going to work and working in retail at this time of year is pretty interesting.  I also have been using the new free time just to relax a little.  I now have some time to play a little Skyrim and watch Harry Potter movies.

I am also motivated with a new resolve to find a new career path.  My friend has an interesting term for some jobs = a ‘Joe Job’.  I know what he means as Joe Jobs are the kind of job where you put in your hours to make money but you are never going to get ahead with such jobs – just survive. I want to do more than survive. I also want to enjoy what I am doing.  I have found an enjoyment to just working itself but I want to find a job I enjoy as well.

That said, I am enjoying the downtime from school and I feel more relaxed and in a better frame of mind. I am in a tension of sorts of wanting this time of rest to last but also getting tired of where I am in some respects now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The only issue of discipline right now is the study/reading time which I ma basically having trouble in figuring out what I want to do. Probably should have been a little more proactive here.  The other areas are Walking and Weightlifting which basically I have no place to do right now.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I made it.  I finished school and I am now looking for a new career.  I wanted to be at this point in am much different way that I arrived but I got here nonetheless.  The different path was interesting and full of some unique joys and perils.  But to stand here at a point I aimed at and having arrived…yeah I feel good.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I still struggle with what exactly to be loyal to as far as faith. That said my principles are starting to harden into a good philosophy to live by and I am enjoying that process. I spend time with my wife whenever I can to keep our relationship strong.  I love my family and I am starting to love myself again. I have a small (very small) circle of friends that I am very loyal to.  At work some people have shown their support of me and I support them in kind.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Cleaning yes,  Weightlifting and Walking are problematic because I don’t have a place to do them right now. I also have to admit that I haven’t been looking hard yet.  Mostly this is a financial concern,

Nutrition:

Next week will be the first time my diet tightens so that I am allowed four carb sources and day and four cheat meals a week.  Timing is probably spot on as this kind of vigilance is needed during the holidays.  Just a nudge right now so that is good.  With no place to lift or walk right now, nutrition is very important to maintain where I am.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – It was a good week for honor, courage and truth.  I enjoy the fact that all I have left is my internship and that I am moving forward with my life.

Business – Opportunities are now open pt me and I have been made aware of some of them, sifting through these to try to find the one that will be a joy to me and allow me to have the hugest level of self-reliance, industriousness and hospitality is now the task before me.

Self – The real issue to me right now I that I miss weightlifting.  It’s just joining a gym has two problems right now.  1) Until I get past Yuletide, Money is going to be tight. 2) I don’t know where I will be working ultimately so I don’t want a long-term commitment until I do know.  Discipline is solid but could be better, but I have to say graduation has been a symbol of Perseverance fulfilled and Fidelity is solid.  Looking forward to seeing all my folk together in one place.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Looking for a New Path

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

For a week or so the A Skald’s Life posts will be a reexamination of each element and later consideration of new elements to be added.  Most of this is trying to create routines that enable me to get things done and get them done quickly.

I have basically been relaxing when I haven’t been at work.  Just letting the mind, heart and body take a break.  I was going to join a gym but financially this is a little difficult at Christmas time.  Hopefully soon.  In any case, I am just calmly meditating on what is next while not being in a hurry to find out.

Mostly right now I just want to enjoy Yuletide, update my resume and start sending it out and enjoy some time with my family.  I have to set up my internship and some other details but it looks like things are going well.

As I look at changes to things in journals, goals, routines, etc. I want to be sure that those changes are good ones.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

My new path must be a path that leads to self-reliance in the sense I want it to be able to provide all our needs and be a path to prosperity.  I don’t want something that allows me to just get by, I want more than enough and the means to make that true until I die.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I am learning to enjoy work.  I like to look back at the end of the day and say: “I did this and it was progress or positive”  What I am looking for now is work I enjoy as well. I don’t know what that is going to be, but I am excited for the search.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I have a living room that has a sectional couch in it now and it speaks a little of our progress.  It is a lot nicer that folding chairs. I always leave my heart open to help.  I guess that is one thing that hasn’t changed.  Despite my best efforts to be a hard ass, I still find myself reaching out with compassion to people.  If there is a change, it is I don’t spend so much of my energy to help so that I am drained to help myself.  There is a balance here right now that I like. I can’t save the world, but perhaps maybe a person here and there would be OK.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – 1 hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Empty In Box
  5. Financial Transaction Input

I took the Reading and the Study time and combined it into one thing. I just wanted some flexibility here and to be realistic in that I might have more school in the future. Basically it is mandatory to spend an hour reading or studying something every day.  When in school, the thing is to do that minimum or as much as is needed that day more or less.  If less, then I still need to fill the hour.  This just makes the bookkeeping easier and what I can do more flexible.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Seeing I did graduate, I have changed # 2 to reflect getting the last details of the degree finished so I will come in the mail. That will probably be sometime in June but most of it is done. I can say though goals achieved so far: 1.  I think I will keep a running count, just for motivational purposes.  I want to take a closer look at this list specifically next week at this same time so, I will leave it for now.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Still step one, but I feel things will get better in the coming year. I really want to be in step 2 by the end of the 2019. If I have a desired timeline it would be to start working on step 3 in a few years.  Like the start of 2022

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Needed Rest

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

A I look back at the now finished last semester, I can see the really problem is that summer was not restful so I went into the new semester tired and then had to move to a new home, keep working a new job and get off to a fast start at school and that just didn’t happen because m rest from the summer was just not sufficient and as I walked the platform Saturday, one thought I possessed was exhausted I felt. How I was looking so forward to just coming home from work and just resting. At least for a little while. It was a moment of triumph to be sure, but it was an exhausted one.

Mostly I just need a week or two to catch my breath.  I want to update and polish my resume, figure out the details of my internship and then just live my life. My eldest son posted on Facebook about my graduation and when I read it I did tear up a little:

Sucks that I wasn’t able to be there, but want to congratulate my dad Ed Raby on earning his degree from Ferris. A while back I can remember encouraging him to do this…so this is awesome to see. He is a hard worker who has spent years caring and teaching others without much appreciation. Glad he was able to do something that he wanted to do at this age for himself. On the path to doing something more self-fulfilling! Congrats Dad! Love you! 

You know sometimes I would wonder if I did a good job as a dad, and then one of my kids will do something like this and make it seem worthwhile.  He is right. I have been doing a lot for others most of my life while my life went on hold.  I was like never getting a rest and now I see that this made me vulnerable.  Too Vulnerable. I need to focus on me, my wife, my family and whatever the future holds for me.  But right now I hope the future holds the simple ability to catch my breath and enjoy the moment.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Graduation brought me a much needed feeling of honor.  I felt positive about me and my future and that was good, very good. As I left the stage, two faculty made it a point to stop me and congratulate me.  My advisor and Dr. Grey.  Two men who I have very high appreciation for.  One helped me at every turn in this journey so I kept moving forward and the other, just became kind of inspiration from a professor point of view. I will never forget the only class I had with him – Introduction to Ethics. It was where I began to realize that faith was inadequate for ethics and morals.  You have to have that within you or nothing else matters. Honor comes from within.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have many acts of courage to yet perform in the future.  Right now a rest will give me the time to think about them and what I need to do when the time comes.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I keep silent a lot these days, if you read the above you know why.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I moved my meditation on the virtues to number two.  I have actually been doing this for a while now.  Just thought I would make it official.  The morning routine is the most consistent thing of my day and it helps me get going and focus.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I think a tattoo is on the horizon. I gift to myself for graduating. Other than that I am thinking of starting to write my novel.  Recreational use of MJ is legal in Michigan so…we will see.

Weightlifting:

Today I will be signing up at a new gym and getting the first workout in about two weeks. I really need to have this return to my life. I miss the focus and meditation of it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – A Strong Soul

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I someone would ask me how I feel right now, I would tell them tired but still strong. It’s my soul that is tired. probably because of the fact I just don’t quit.  I do need this Yuletide time to be a time of rest and celebration. I need to be able to breathe for a bit.

Image result for sleep doesn't help if the soul is tired vikings

My goal is strength of soul more than anything else when it comes to myself.  My soul has been bruised, bleed out. battered, betrayed and a whole host of other things this past year.  I suppose though the fact that it is still alive and standing is a testimony to my perseverance if nothing else. Of course some of those wounds were self-inflicted too so my soul, heart and mind have a lot of arguments these days.  I do feel healing is something I am experiencing when I get the chance but it is not so much healing I need right now; but rather, to feel that my soul is getting stronger and stronger every day.  That the blood that was drained from it is starting to return.

I know I am using a lot of metaphors, but in describing what I am trying to get across it is pretty much what I am left with.  I suppose though if I do ever find my strength again of soul I will be stronger than before.  If that which does not kill you makes you stronger, then by the holy powers I am going to be a lot stronger.  A helluva lot stronger.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The one thing I am glad for, because it has kept me sane and focused, is the various discipline I keep putting in my life.  Some things might seem weird to discipline like making sure I cuddle/communicate with my wife for at least ten minutes a day when possible.  Not something people normally see on a self-discipline routine of any type, but it is important to do given all that has happened.  Making sure things are good on all fronts.

I am going to do one thing this break which is reassess everything on my routines and disciplines lists.  Going over my goals, the bucket list and everything else will take priority as well.  As we come to the end of the year, it important to be clear about what the objectives are for the next one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Sometimes when I keep getting up from defeat and failure, I wonder if it is perseverance or stupidity.  Part of my wants to say I have had enough and its time to throw in the towel.  Unfortunately or fortunately, that isn’t part of my makeup.  Quitting is never an option for me.

Image result for sleep doesn't help if the soul is tired vikings

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think, in the future I will benefit from the lessons of fidelity I have learned this year.  My own weaknesses in it are still evident when it comes to faith and my marriage based on last years performance.  That’s a fair and honest assessment. but out of that failure I have found a new understanding of fidelity.  That is, I know if I am being true to what I feel about those relationships, than being loyal to them is not a problem.

I have also learned what kind of friends I want in my life because true colors were shown very quickly and I guess now I am much more cautious who I give my friendship to these days. I don’t want to be the kind of ‘friend’ that others were to me this past year.  ‘Friends’ only when you can do something for them or your friendship makes them look good.  Perhaps there is another lesson in keeping my circle small and tight here. Probably very likely.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting right now.  I plan on joining a new gym on Monday and getting back at it, so I am hopeful that this part will start not only to keep my body strong but my soul as well. I need my mediation of iron.  Walking may be the treadmill every day for a bit until the weather gets better and I can use the trials again.  Cleaning is pretty consistent and it keeps my minimalist self from going nuts.

Nutrition:

So far the carb counting and cheat meal counting has worked.  I haven’t gone over at any time. With that said, things are going to start to get more tight after the holidays are over.  It’s at this point things will be put to the test and I must say the goal of looking as best I can is starting to be very real to me.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – Weary but good.  This week marks the end of another semester of school.  Graduation tomorrow, but I still have some work to do. I need to be very truthful about myself in the coming weeks as well as make good courageous and honorable decisions going into the new year.

Business –  I am coming to the end of a stage of life here and trying to start a new one.  My former career of ministry is done and I need to embrace a new one.  Now I just need to find that path. Thankfully I have learned for a long time the importance of work and being industrious.  I have learned to work toward being self-reliant and now it is time to gain enough prosperity to be hospitable to those who need it.

Self – Strength needs to be recovered here but I think the path I am on that involves fidelity, discipline and perseverance will help me.  The goal in the end is to be a proud Viking soul that is prosperous and strong.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues -A Prosperous Soul

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

Well at this point the only thing left is my exam for Inferential Stats which actually doesn’t involve much in the way of an exam.  I need to finish my three problems in presentation form to turn in today and have my Excel and Word work on a flash drive to look at.  There is a in class portion but it isn’t supposed to take long. In any case by 5:30 today Fall 2018 will be over for me. I am fairly sure this was my toughest semester not academically but personally.  It just was challenging on an emotional level all the time.

When I haven’t been working on home work, I have been trying to relax and spend as much time as I can with my wife. Part of this is dreaming about being a prosperous soul.  I have heard the verse in the bible about the love of money being the root of all evil.  Usually I have heard this in a sermon where the basic gist is – “your money is going to cause you to sin so give it to the church.”  Convenient that the clerics will take it off your hands for you.  I am not sure I love money so much as I love what it gives when I have it – a feeling of prosperity,  That feeling of being a prosperous soul that is satisfied and has no need or want.  It’s the lack of prosperity that leads to evil and struggle.  I want to end my struggle and find some prosperity that is satisfying.

See the source image

I don’t want money so much as the prosperity it brings and that feeling that lack has been satisfied and the other feeling I want is to be able to help others feel the same by sharing from that prosperity. I want to be a prosperous soul.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Independence is the issue of Self-Reliance. It is the centerpiece of prosperity too.  The goal is to have all the needs met.  Not just the basics of food, clothing and shelter but hat you need to function in the society you live. So for us Americans that usually involves transport and insurances of various kinds.  So far my wife and I have that covered just not at the best level. Hoping to change that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

With school drawing to a close, it has become time to look closer at what I am going to be, what my work identity will be. I do enjoy working and making money. There is something in that process that is satisfying to me in and of itself.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I finally got a sectional couch so the living room looks a little better. It also is  a step closer to perhaps having people over as guests. If you need to talk and want a coke and a smile, I still have a listening ear and Coke Zero in the fridge. Just make sure you call first, as my wife and I might be cuddling on the new couch.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

There is a part of me that will be glad when the school part is out of this and I can study what I want and read what I want.  There is a possibility of another semester of classes online but that is mostly a way to pay for my internship by remaining a full-time student. Keeps the student loan guys off my back for a little longer so I can get a decent job too.  The real thing is that I do have a few weeks where I can read something I want to read and can study something I want to study.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is going to be finished but not quite.  I will be walking the platform Saturday in the cap in gown.  It will be a moment of achievement, I just have that internship thing to finish and probably some more classes to pay for it.  The real work will be done and so that is that. # 3 will probably start the day after as I update my resume and look for jobs that this degree qualifies me for.  Time to start finding that new identity. # 6 – I am going to probably sign up at a new gym tomorrow after work and that is when I will be working out.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 continues. Xmas bonus, and taxes coming up soon.  Might help with that. New job with more money might help too. I am curious where we will be by the end of 2019.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Viking Soul

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I get asked once in a while if I have Viking ancestry and if that is why I like them so much.  Truth is I don’t know. Part of the mystery of being me is my father’s side of the family in that biologically, I might be. I do know that German blood flows in these veins and the whole Scandinavian – Germanic mythology was pretty much the same, except the names were changed and later the two mythologies merged. I want someday to do a genetics test and maybe hunt down some of dad’s ancestry.  I do hope there is some Scandinavian descent in there somewhere.

Were all human and I work very hard not to think my heritage makes me better or worse for that matter than everyone else. I reject racism of all types including the type done by liberals when they want white people to feel guilty for the past crimes of ancestors. I am only responsible for my own actions, not my father’s or any of my forefather’s

I do think I have a Viking Soul.  I resonate with the warrior philosophy of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).  I think what they believed deals far better with reality than many mythologies.  It digs back down into my pagan roots and finds the hand axe wielding tribal warrior standing there.  Grim faced and ready for battle. The man who appreciates home and hearth when he can get it, but also longs to board the ship and set sail at least for a time to fight for something better for himself and his family. To prove his value to himself most of all and to others as a bonus.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think I am just weary at this point.  I am just tired of what I am doing this semester and want it to end to make way for what is next. From an honor standpoint I struggle less with my own sense of self-worth. I struggle more with value in what I am doing and where I am going. I am also starting to address the question of looking for honor in this world I can value.  I know it is there, I just need to find it.  I need some vision of the future and the world I want to live in and then go find it and make it happen.  That is what I mean when I say I need to be positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Courage right now takes the form of being disciplined enough to get finished. I have basically a paper to do which counts toward two things and three short projects which constitute a final exam.  The first is due at the end of today and the second at exam time on Wednesday.  I already finished a take home final yesterday so that is done. Courage is facing the rest and getting them done.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is one thing I have had to consider about being a scholar at this time of exams and my capstone paper; it is truth.  The decision recently was to make this paper as close to the truth as I can make it. Regardless of whether or not that will get me a good grade. I am being given the opportunity to speak with words and in a defense so I will take it with full truth and nothing but the truth.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I haven’t had a problem with the Morning Routine.  It’s the most solid part of my life right now. I am going to consider my meditation practices once the semester ends.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I am looking forward to looking at this list closer during the break. Yeah, I may have to go one semester of full-time online stuff to get financial aid for my internship so Christmas Break might be a good time to take a breath and look at this list again and rewrite and redefine it.

Weightlifting:

Still looking for a gym but the most likely candidate is the one near where I work.  I can just get off work and go there before I come home. I will probably use the time to develop a four-day split and if I end up at work five days a week for whatever reason then one will get a double.  I may have to use the new gym time for walking at least until the snow clears.  The rails to trails is just a short walk from my apartment so once spring comes I will be grateful to get out and hike again.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – New Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am writing this a couple of days early to clear my weekend schedule for both school and I promised that I would give you a double dose of fiction this Saturn’s Day.  I am not sure of the Pagan Pulpit on Sun’s Day. That will greatly depend on how things go this week and the early weekend.  My perception of this week is that it has been a busy one but what I want to talk about at this point is how my identity is changing into something else.

For about two decades I have been a pastor and Christian theologian.  None of that is true anymore, that identity for all practical purposes is a dead one.  I mean my Master’s Degree in Theology is still there as well as my Bachelor’s in Biblical Studies/Ministry, so I could pass myself still as a theologian, but not a believing one.  I suppose from a certain point of view that makes me a dangerous critic of Christian doctrine and theology because I can’t be accused of being ignorant of what Christians believe.  Not that I want to be such a critic; as in truth, I would rather start focusing my time on things that are more personally productive. I would rather focus on developing a new identity.

My problem is I feel very much like I am back in college making that decision for the first time.  There are differences as I know I am probably more experienced than I was thirty years ago, as well as ‘wiser’, whatever that means.  My issue is what am I now?  I know somethings that have not changed – I am still a husband, father and grandfather.  I am still a good friend.  I just don’t know what else I am right now.  Options:

Professor – This would mean a master’s degree in economics probably and then Ph. D work.  The issue I have with this one is continued financial aid and debt. I then would have a long-term career possible, if I made tenure so I could retire when I wanted to retire. I guess this one is on the top of the list because I have been told I am a good teacher and so that is the issue here in that it would fit me well and past experience in public speaking and teaching would not be wasted.

Business – This is an option because the pull of money is on me fairly strong as I need to make a bunch money in order to make sure retirement is even possible.  I could get an MBA at Ferris as the have a completely online one as well.  Corporate ladder or start my own business?  There are options here that are very flexible.  I know people from long experience, so that would be an asset as well.

Lawyer – Like it or not, my Political Science Degree is also preparation for a legal career. There are plenty of law schools in Michigan, so there is that.  I can’t put it off the list because with my own practice I can’t be fired either. I really do need a career path where I am in the driver seat as far as employment.

Writer – I have already had one career that starved me on occasion, so being a writer has purely emotional appeal, not a financial one.  It has risks. I would have to have another job until it could pay for things.  It also has the advantage of being non-ending.  I could do it in retirement for that matter.  Right up until they put me on my viking ship to burn as it sails out to sea. I am the Rabyd Skald after all.

I just don’t know which of these could be my identity or even a combination might be in order. I just don’t know. It has to fit me to be an identity and that is the challenge for me right now – finding what fits. The one thing I know does not fit anymore is ministry.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Once school is done I will have to do a reassessment of the areas in my life where discipline might be need.  Right now it is just obvious what needs discipline. The real problem right now for me is my old gym is closed and I need a new one and that means I will probably not be able to lift for a bit while I find a new one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Defeat and failure are something I try to avoid but my attitude about them is far more positive which is to say – once you have failed you can’t go back and fix it.  You can only move on by getting back up and moving forward.  I think this is something I may need to remember soon as I am struggling very much in one class and I don’t know how it is going to come out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I haven’t really thought about fidelity much this week as I have not had much time to be anything but loyal myself.  I guess the only struggle I still have is what to do if I ever cross paths again with certain people.  I simply do not know how I will react.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting this week but I am using the extra time for homework. Cleaning and walking were on target, so that was good.  I do need to find an alternative walk site starting next week.

Nutrition:

I need to define a couple of things.  A Cheat Meal for me is basically a period of time (a half hour to an hour) where I can eat pretty much any food and drink any beverage without counting it toward carb count for the day.  A Carb Count is a single serving of carbs outside a cheat meal and during the day,  Right now with five Cheat Meals and a Carb Count of five a day, I have a lot of room.  As the weeks  go by however this is not going to remain the case.  By the last month things will be very tight.  I need to remember those pictures are coming on my 50th birthday.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – All good here, I guess I am simply just putting my head down and trying to finish the year out as best I can. When 2018 hits the rear view mirror, I will probably let out a cheer.

Business – I am really looking forward to the job search and finding this new identity for myself.  My real issue is surviving it financially until then. Thankfully these virtues are not a problem for me for the most part so I keep doing what I need to do.

Self – Right now staying disciplined is tiring but I know it will be worth it.  Fidelity and Perseverance are now more central so I worry less about them right now anyway.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – New Adventure

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

I am deeply involved with my final paper which will be used both for health economics and for my political capstone.  I am writing this entry on Tuesday morning to clear my schedule for the week. I also have about ten other small projects for other classes so  I am pressed for time so I am going to make this as short as possible,  Of course, I am reminded as a preacher that when I said I was going to keep this short, that meant nothing at all.

If there is anything I am trying to tap into right now it’s my spirit of adventure.  I want to look to the future with the eyes of the viking boarding his ship and planning to go out there and find new shores to explore and conquer.  I really am looking at 2019 as a fresh start into something new. Something I can get excited about as I look at it.

It is this spirit of adventure and about to engage on a new adventure that allows me to look at things now as preparation for it.  It allows me to see things with a light of optimism and hope.  Something I haven’t had in a while.  I am sure The Grey will return, but I hope there will be a light within that allows me to see the water in front of me.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Right now everything is focused on getting my last paper done and studying for the final exams. I will be finished with everything Next Wednesday so as of this post there will be only a week left.  Time to focus,  the tie to celebrate is drawing closer.  ultimately this is about being more self-reliant in all things. For that I need an education that I can market in the real world.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Work is work for me right now.  I do enjoy taking a situation (in retail your don’t really produce anything, you have a situation) and then improving it.  To know when I walk about the company is in a better position to make some money because of my actions is a pretty good feeling.  I also enjoy work for its sake and I always want something to do rather than stand around.  That said I do enjoy walking out and going home and pretty much work ends and I don’t take it home with me.  You have no idea how good a feeling that is until you have been a pastor and then that constant responsibility falls off your shoulders.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Still working on this.  I guess I try to make myself ready to help whenever I can or see the need.  I am not very much into charity which I just give money to it.  Mostly, I don’t have money to give anyway so helping with action is a far more beneficial thing to me.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Mostly solid.  looking back last week.  There was a couple of times financial transactions didn’t get entered that day.  But for the most part is was solid.  Next week the study, homework and reading will shift to what I want to do, not what I have to do and that will be great.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I should make note that # 2 will be replaced after I graduate on December 15th.  That said, I won’t get my diploma until May or June because of the need to finish my internship.  As I mentioned yesterday, to pay for that may require me to stay a full-time student for one semester which means more classes.  Those class have to have a couple of qualities. 1) They need to be online so I don’t have it drive to campus. 2) If they could be something that pads my resume, so much the better. I still plan on looking for a better job by the end of January.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Yeah, still stage 1.  The real key to going forward here is a new job or a second one.  I would rather have the first, but I have no problem doing the second until if find the first.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A New Shore

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I get asked every once in a while about why I am getting a political science degree.  I must admit the name is a bit of misdirection as political scientists are actually quite diverse in their skill set.  I mean we have to understand the politics of people in groups from small groups to those as large as a nation.  We also have to understand the bureaucracy of getting things done in the government.  There is also the fact that we have budgets and a business side to consider. I have had three business management classes and some accounting to get my degree as well.

My two minors chip in as well as Economics and International Business stem from my interest in trade.  International Business for me has been about understanding exchange rates, the logistics of moving things from one country to another. Understanding that different cultures do business differently as well.  Economics has only enhanced my love for the concept of trade and trading and how it always benefits both nations.

When I look at what I would like to do next my dream job centers on this idea of being person who negotiates trade agreements between people.  I am not sure specifically what that would be.  I also would like to travel and see this world a little before I kick off of it.  I however also want to come to a place to call home. So maybe a job that travels every quarter for a week or two.  Go there, make money, come home.  Kind of like a viking.

I know my wife doesn’t want to leave Michigan and I agree, but I also want to have those moments and times where I can travel to someplace new and enjoy the process of doing business and then come home to wife and hearth.  If I could on occasion take her with me so much the better. It’s good to dream when you are looking to the future and this is mine. Well, that and own a bar and serve drinks.  That’s my retirement dream.

Mostly I want something that allows me to set foot on a new shore and see what there is to see.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Knowing I am noble of being is still a struggle. Part of this is finding the definition of what it means to be noble of being in and of itself and not attached to any religion.  It’s not easy to abandon your faith of four decades and find a new philosophy that reflects a more true version of yourself.  It’s a journey of discovery and takes a little courage to find that new sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is coming time to start job searching again and looking for a direction for a new career path.  This is going to take courage to do the interviews and the things I need to do to start looking for things that lead to that career. Time to be brave.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is I have the potentiality to be a good anything, maybe even great. There is also the truth that whatever I pick I want it to fit me.  life is too short to not be doing what you enjoy and love. I need to remember that.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Once school is over there is really only one thing I want to concentrate on this list which is the meditation aspect.  I think the change might be to meditate more generally on the Nine Noble Virtues to see which virtue rises to the top.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I haven’t got much new to say about this other than if my job did entail travel the learning languages and taking a cruise to Budapest would be right up there as far as a way to having those fulfilled.

Weightlifting:

My gym closed and they started selling equipment so I need a new one.  The problem is I have little time to look so I will probably just take this week off, concentrate on school and then look during finals week.  Probably in the same city I work for now until I get a better job. I really hate to see this happen as it has been my gym home for the last three plus years.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Paleo Nutritional Planning Winter 2018-19

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

One of my goals is to be in the best shape possible by my Birthday so I can take some progress pictures.  That would be March 18th, 2019.  I will be 50.  There is something about these birthdays where the first number and last number both change.  I mean ten was probably where I first became aware of abstract thought and started to find girls far more interesting.  Twenty I went from being single to married and started my first round of college.  Thirty was a year where I became ordained as a minster and became pastor of my first church.  Forty was the year I started my last church.  Now I approach fifty and it truly is a milestone.

I will be finished with school and very close to the end of my internship.  I will be hopefully starting a new career with a new job.  2019 is truly going to not just be a new chapter in my life but in truth a whole new part to the story. I want part of that to be able to stand naked in front of the mirror on March 18th, 2019 and say: ‘Damn Ed, you look really good for fifty.”

The biggest part of that happening is going to involve nutrition.  I lift weights and walk/hike and that is important, but it is nutrition that not only gets results but allows you to keep them.  It is about lifestyle choice that leads to a better life, not just a better body.

Philosophically, I know that plans that involve meal planning, counting calories and points do not work for me.  I have said it before I do the best when I can control what I eat and when I eat it.  What has worked so far is a combination of Paleo and Intermittent Fasting.  The issue right now is to train myself to make that even more discipline and tighter as I get closer to my birthday.  After that finding a basic patterns that works and keeps working will be the goal. The details of this plan will be below in nutrition section but my basic idea is to slowly drop the number of carbs sources I can eat a day and the number of cheat meals a week. The four weeks leading up to my birthday both of these will be very low; if they exist at all.

Couple this with intermittent fasting and you get a powerful combo that so far has dropped my weight probably fifty pounds since May.  I don’t really go by weight though as my basic test of how I feel and look to me is the naked in front of the mirror test.  If I can look in the mirror and feel proud of what I have accomplished and my wife is giving me bedroom eyes, then I will have considered it a breakthrough.  Then it will be about maintaining it into the future.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Nutrition is simply one of those areas I am trying to apply more discipline.  To be harder on myself, so greater things can be achieved.  My homework and study time right now is tight with this as well, but I take comfort in the fact there is less than three weeks to go and the last half of December is pretty much going to be chill time.  I will still be working in retail, so it won’t be completely relaxing until after January 1st.  I just won’t have three major things to work on, just two. I will probably use the extra time to start disciplining myself toward attaining some other things on my list of goals and the bucket list.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Shit.  I look back at 2018 and marvel how many times I was knocked down and got up.  I am not talking simple knockdowns either but full on flat on your ass knockdowns where you slide from the force of the blow for twenty feet.  Where you lay there gasping for breath wondering if you are going to live knockdowns.  I got up from all of them and I still am shaking my head about it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think the biggest realization I have had this week is how much I now distrust people when they say they are my friend or want to be my friend.  I can tell I am still skeptical of this. Only people who proved my friend during this year do I seem to trust without question, and even then I wonder very slightly from time to time.

I really do need a new small local circle from a social point of view, but like I told the counselor on Tuesday, I probably will have to look at my new career to find those people. My hope for starting a new support group of some kind might be an avenue as well.  The one thing I don’t trust is old wells that have no water – the church or friends who disappeared when things got tough.

At the same time, I kind of marvel at my wife’s forgiveness and loyalty to me.  She has no reason to be. None.  I guess she loves me.  I probably should follow her example and give some people a second chance.  Some, but not all that’s for damn sure. Being led astray by others about me is one thing.  Being a person who straight up abused my trust and betrayed me is another.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

This week has been more about school than anything else.  What this has done is limited trips to the gym and school oddly as class has not been something I need to attend on a couple of occasions. Walking and lifting will not reach their goals this week as I am hitting the books instead.

The gym situation is coming to a head as I will no longer need to travel to the city where my gym currently is as often.  Plus, it looks very much like my gym will close soon.  That means changing gyms closer to where I work now. Once that happens, training will take on more importance.

Nutrition:

Paleo Diet means I avoid carb sources of foods like the plague.  I have pretty much eliminated pasta.  What I need to do is slowly wean myself off them pretty much altogether.  Part of this is re-educating myself on what I can eat and eating more of it.

The intermittent fasting basically will go like this.  I eat breakfast then fast until eight hours later, then I can eat until I go to bed. At first this will be weeks that start with an even-numbered Sundays.  Four weeks out from March 18th, 2019 it will be all the time.

The two things that will be added are a weekly check list of cheat meals where when I have one I check one cheat meal off and when I have used them all for the week, I can’t do any more.  The other thing I will add is a daily carb food source check list.  I want to basically start shrinking both down every week or two.  The goal the last month is to have no carbs at all daily and one cheat meal per week.

December 2nd – December 22nd: Weekly Cheat Meals: 5  Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 5

December 23rd – January 5th: Cheat Meals: 4; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 4

January 6th – January 19th: Cheat Meals: 3; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 3

January 20th – February 2nd: Cheat Meals: 2; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 2

February 3rd – February 16th: Cheat Meals: 1; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 1

February 17th – March 18th – Cheat Meals: 0 (special occasions only), Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 0 – I will actually extend this out for the rest of the week but the goal is my birthday which is a Monday.

Of course extra cheat meals are allowed for special occasions:  Birthdays and holidays.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t feel to bad in this area.  I did come to the conclusion this week that I will feel a great deal better as far as Courage, Honor and Truth once my degree is finished.  Still work to do, but I feel much better.

Business – Things are coming to a head, graduation, internship and new job search,  I have a feeling my hard work is going to start paying off. Prosperity with purpose is getting closer.

Self – I feel the best about this area. Have for a long time.  This week particularly.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!