Motivation

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Reworking the Script

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have spent from February 22nd to March 2nd off script.  What that means is I didn’t use my paper journal to keep track of things or remind myself of the things I need to do each day and for the week. I did it on purpose, knowing I would come off of it on March 3rd.  The purpose was to see what is habit in my life,what needs work and what things would simply not get done without the script. I have done this several times in my life and I find the truest test if something has become a habit, is that you don’t need a reminder to do it.

The ultimate purpose is to look at everything and then rework the script in such a way as to be more effective and efficient in achieving my goals.  To find the weaknesses and use my discovered strengths to achieve them.  To find ways, to get more things done with less time.  Mostly though it is a test of character to see how much laziness and procrastination needs to be overcome.

March is my birthday month and in our family we tend to kind of get excited about all the birthdays that month and we have three in the immediate family (My granddaughter, myself and my mother).  There is also the concept of the birthday week where people can up to the time of a person’s birthday for a week and do whatever to let them know how much they are loved and celebrate it. It is not uncommon for their to be more than one party especially for the kids. Then of course there is the birthday itself. The person in my mind basically gets to do what they want (within reason as you are still not allowed to be an asshole or bitch) and gets to enjoy what they enjoy that day.

For me this is a particularity interesting month and my birthday will be number 50.  I always have a little harder time with those birthdays where there is a zero on the end of double digits. This affects my reworking the script in the sense that I have this feeling of change and direction shift that needs to be addressed. So this entire month is reevaluation of Goals, Bucket List, Principles, Routines and Life in general.  I do this regularly, but this Month of March 2019 seems particularly like a critical moment in time for me. It is time to revise and refine the script of my life and make it work better.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

One of the things I will be revising is each principle following each virtue.  I will at least be reconsidering it.  I created all these principle in haste out of necessity, and I think they deserve some real contemplative time.   Some of them are going to stay the same, but I want to be open to changing them.  I want to be open to the notion of realigning everything so it is more efficient.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Change is always difficult, but also if there is one constant to the universe, it is that it is constantly changing.  Wisdom says it is wise to change and adapt to it. Courage is needed to do so.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

This is one virtue and principle that don’t seem to line up as well as they could.  The problem with this one is to keep the principle short and to the point while at the same time encapsulating the essence of the virtue.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have thought about giving principles to these higher virtues but I think I reject that notion because I think Love, Justice and wisdom are far to deep concepts to define them to that point.  I just want to sit down when I write these journal posts withe the single word in my mind and then write.  All of them are multifaceted gems and so trying to sharpen them I feel would make them less than what they are.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I really don’t see the need to change this routine.  It works and it is the most consistent I have. ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, was one of my father’s favorite sayings.  The Morning Routine definitely fits that very well.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This concept of realignment is coming up often in my thoughts.  The Bucket list is one of those things that might see a realignment.  What I mean by this is that each Virtue will have a principle, a goal and a bucket list item that are all aligned.  That all follow the same theme as the virtue. That way I don’t have goals and bucket list items that pull me off-center. Yes, this might be a cause to revise or change some of them, but I don’t have a problem with that, if things start coming off this list more often. If things work from virtue to principle to goal to bucket list, that is efficient and kind of the point of the whole thing in the first place.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting is a powerful desire right now and I know that I need to either get a new job where a gym is a possibility, or start working on some home equipment I can actually store in my apartment. I just need to find a way to prevent going soft until things get better.  I also think part of my anger issues these days is caused by the fact I have no real outlet for that energy.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:4 – “People Have the Right to Pursue Happiness”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Never Give Up – Motivational Video

I don’t normally post motivational videos but I do listen to them from time to time.  I think I might consider creating a morning playlist as I write.  This might be the one to kick it off.

Poem: ‘Go Get it’ – Will Smith – From the movie The Pursuit of Happiness.
See the source image
Meditation:

No photo description available.

Song of Preparation: “Happy” – Pharrell Williams

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Pursuit  Happiness” – The Book of Rabyd 1:4

Sermon:

Will Smith has a great line in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”.  He centers on the idea of how the founding fathers has enough wisdom to put in the word ‘pursuit’.  This is what is often forgotten in this right.  You do not have the right to be happy.  You do have the right to pursue what will make you happy or what you think will make you happy.  It does not include a safety net where the government bails you out if you fail.

I suppose it should be argued at this point that this right is equal to the other two already stated of life and liberty.  The issue here is that some people will be champion of people’s life and liberty, but then involve themselves in the affairs of others in such a way as to either meddle or try to restrict other’s pursuit of happiness by law or ordinance.  They think they know what would make others happy and try to use force or influence to make it so.

Truthfully, the respect for this right in others is the biggest litmus test of whether you genuinely treat people as human beings or objects.  The person who can see what would be better for someone else but does not act because he or she respects that person’s right to pursue their own happiness is a person who also is seeing them as a human being, not as something to manipulate.

I have been using the abortion debate throughout this discussion so I will use it again here.  The conflict is simple I think because a woman might argue that having a child would not be in line with her pursuit of happiness.  The counter argument then comes that you are violating the child or fetus’ right to live.  On the front of pursuit of happiness both have this right and so we are still at draw.

If we are truly seeing the two rights as equals then we are pretty much left in a stalemate and so the issue falls to other things.  In abortion, we have a conflict of rights but the question is which right has superiority over others.  If we give certain rights superiority over others then how can we say we are treating them all equally?  Some other factor, must come into play to settle this quandary, and it may be Rabyd 1:5 which we will talk about in the next week.

For me personally this is why I try to conduct myself (and I hope my family conducts themselves with the idea as well) of not meddling in other people’s affairs.  If we do feel we have a better way for people to live that might aid them in their pursuit of happiness; we do not force the issue, but attempt to persuade people to that end.  Our goal is not to meddle, but we will certainly act in compassion if we see a need and react if asked to help.  Part of respecting the pursuit of happiness is respecting the need for people to struggle through that issue on their own.  To impose my view of what I think would make them happy on them would be wrong.  It is wrong because it does not recognize the other person’s humanity or their right to pursuit what they believe will make them happy.

Closing Song: “Tacky” – Weird Al Yankovic

Having a little fun to end it.  Weird Al in a classic.  Have a laugh and pursuit what you feel will make you happy.  It is your right.

Parting Thought: 

Image may contain: one or more people and text

A crude statement I suppose, but true. In your pursuit of happiness – be careful to not be drawn into things that will get you off the path.  For instance, by giving a fuck about certain people who you suspect don’t give as much a fuck about you as you do them. Just keep walking toward your happiness.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – ‘Live Long and Prosper’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Star Trek is a complicated conversation for me, as it used to be about something that examined all issues fairly in a science fiction setting.  With all the new series and such, my issue of course is that the universe known as Star Trek is it has taken on a life of its own. So much so, that it is impossible to keep up.  Star Trek for me remains sitting in front of the television as a boy watching the original series.  It shaped me in that I learned very much to look to a future that was optimistic. Not the same optimism that Gene Roddenberry had, but optimism nonetheless.

There are many truisms from that series and one of my favorites comes from Spock and the simple goodbye ritual of saying -“Live long and prosper.”  In the absence of religion or faith, it is a blessing that is very mystical, yet secular.  It is also a worth goal and a from a Self point of view, it sums up my objectives very well.  Just trying to live a long life in as much prosperity as I can.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Being hard on yourself, knowing you can always do better, can be challenging.  I am right now testing my discipline by basically not keeping my paper journal this week.  What I have discovered is fairly typical – I am now doing some things automatically, other things I am not, or I am forgetting to do some things without the journal. It illustrates the process of how discipline takes something that is a good activity from something difficult, to something that requires less and less of a push until it becomes a habit.  Most things re somewhere along the line of knowing it is a good thing to do and starting out to habit.  Most are somewhere in between those two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I know that the next half a year or so is going to require a lot of perseverance emotionally and mentally.  Memories right now of last year at this same time are going to haunt me.  There will be a lot of things that I look back on with a lot of sadness. This sadness can and probably will at times cause me to shut down emotionally. For me that means becoming cold and feeling nothing.  The Grey.

There will be a lot of voices in my head that will not be positive.  I have to keep going despite it all. My only hope is that on the other side of all this there will be better days and I will be stronger for walking through it.  That’s what keeps me going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Being loyal to myself is the central thing right now.  For the first time in my life, I think the priority of my own prosperity on all levels is present.  If people find this selfish, then they can bite me.  People always call others selfish when people don’t do what they want to advantage themselves.  For me if I don’t keep myself going, then everyone who depends on me also suffers.  I have lived long giving to others at the expense of myself that this is a whole new world for me in some ways and fear of course is there. It is courage and loyalty to myself that cause me to pick up my war axe and keep walking forward.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance has been the word of wisdom this week.  Trying to keep my foundation, business and self aspects in balance.  It can be a challenge, but in so doing, I find myself more at peace. Unfortunately it is a peace that requires victory and victory implies battles and wars to fight.  But it is peace that can be achieved so I fight.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

The weekly routine goes completely to hell when I don’t keep my paper journal.  I think I cleaned once this week and didn’t write at all. Cheat meal Count? Who knows.  Yeah, this one requires keeping it in front of me every day so I am reminded to do it.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Tough one as well without a journal to remind me.  When I look at all of the routines – the morning one and the daily one have the most habits that are automatic. The weekly stuff and the evening stuff are still things I have to remind myself to do.

Nutrition:

Off script this week.  Basically a week of whatever although I do find that I gravitate toward low carb foods or the flip side things that have enough sugar to make my diabetic side cringe. That’s the yin and yang of it right now with nutrition when I don’t force myself to keep track of it. Extreme either way.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  Off script, these are the virtues that hold up best. They are after all stuff that is a constant more than the others.

Business – This area needs more focus and events at my current job have reminded me once again why a change in job is needed.

Self –  I struggle the most here off script.  I really need more of a habit of taking care of me as a whole. Perhaps it speak as to how my last occupation taught me to ‘deny self’ to the point of losing myself.  I now consider this one aspect of Jesus’ teaching I would demand further explanation on; because once you have spent all, then you lose and everyone else wins at your expense.  I fail to see the good in this at all anymore.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side – Adaptation and Balance

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side.  This post and those titled like it to follow in the future are largely just me looking through the Eye, so to speak at my own spirituality. To gaze into my own spiritual journey and come up with some observations I hope will be helpful to me as I continue to walk my life.

I would say that the two great struggles I have had since leaving my religion and my ministry have firstly been to adapt to the change and secondly try to find some way to achieve balance spiritually speaking.

I suppose part of the problem is defining my spirituality:

  1. I want my spirituality to be my own journey of discovery. That is why religion and I have a problem.  That is, I see all of them as being someone else’s journey of discovery that other people follow.
  2. I want my spirituality to embrace all that I am in balance.  Reason, Emotion, Relationships, Health (Both mental and physical) and that aspect we call Spirit must all be involved equally. Most of my spirituality is about achieving balance between all these things.

Back to the two struggles, adaptation is a struggle because I am very conscious of the fact that I was engaged in a lot of spiritual activities as a Christian that I would consider irrational now.

  1. I went to church, but I now understand what that was.  It was the reinforcement of belief by repetition, not necessarily by coming to understanding the truth, but group think and emotional experience are powerful ways to teach you how to deny what is true.
  2. I prayed, but I have realized that I was probably talking to myself most of the time.  Even if there is a god, the way I was conceiving him as I prayed him took on the aspects of my earthly father.  it was my concept of god I was praying to, not necessarily the divine power that actually exists.
  3. I worshiped, but that conception of god was my own creation, so I was worshiping my own ability to conceive god. I don’t do a lot of this anymore.  I honestly can’t say I miss it much.
  4. I studied the Bible.  But this was about repeating something over and over again and when you do that you are just training your mind to think a certain way. Doesn’t mean that way is true or right.

In my adaptation, I don’t want spiritual practices that don’t also leave me open to see possibilities I may not have considered or get me to be dogmatically telling others what “The Truth” is at the expense of their own freedom to figure it out themselves.  it leaves very little other than practicing meditation on the virtues I want evident in my life and living life with a spiritual eye.

The other struggle is balance. Keeping one thing from dominating so much that the others are neglected.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith in myself. Like it or not it is all I really have. People say that might be a poor thing to have faith in and they may be right.  However, my self is all I really know I must have faith in, because it is the best thing I have to place my faith in that I know is real. Other things I will list that I have faith in I know based on my experience and reason that this is so, but I still must say I have a little less faith in these things than myself for obvious reasons. My wife, my small circle of friends, humanity all are worthy of various measures of my faith because they are real and proven through their actions.  That said at the end of the day the only one who can keep my spiritual life in balance is me.  The only one I can ultimately trust is me.

Religion:

I really try to avoid being religious, the problem is religion is very prevalent in spirituality, and eliminating it can be quite a challenge. The issue religion brings to the table is how much of other people’s spiritual experiences can be used to help my own and which ones are just controlling or fear mongering.  I find that if a spiritual notion leads me to being afraid or is trying to ‘force’ me to certain activities then it is a religious element to be rejected.  I just have time for notions that basically without proof try to tell me what ‘the truth’ is.  I think there may be many truths, but one single monolithic truth?  No.  I don’t think the universe is that small. If there is any force that can take me off my notion of balance it is religion.

Theology:

The most elementary shift in my thinking theologically speaking it is realizing that sin is a made up concept.  The writers of the Bible or any other holy book that talk about sin, just straight up called what behaviors they didn’t like ‘sin’.  Therefore, they took it upon themselves to speak for the divine as to what offends the divine. They offer no direct proof for this.  They claim it, but never prove it

Theologically speaking then, is humanity then inherently evil because they have picked up a sinful nature then?  No.  I have not proof one way or the other about that either. It is just asserted.  So when it comes to my spirituality it is not so much avoiding or overcoming sin anymore. My spirituality has shifted more to the notion of making myself better by strengthening what is positive or turning something negative into a positive. I don’t believe that part of my humanity needs to be destroyed or redeemed anymore.  I just think all elements of my humanity (needs, wants, reasoning, wisdom, etc.) need to be focused and work together to help me grow with balance.

Spirituality:

All of life then becomes just as much spiritual as it is anything else.  From taking a shower, to going to work, to making love to even me sitting right now and writing on this blog. All of it has the potential to strengthen me spiritually.  I simply have to find the element of each activity that helps me become a better person.  What is it that leads to long life, prosperity and balance.

Conclusion:

The issue I find is still the issue of balance and adapting to being an X=Christian.  Sometimes I find myself thinking about an issue and asking “Is that the former Christian talking or is it the real me?” It is the current state of my Spirituality as I walk the path of life. It is a question that comes up often.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Finding My Vocation

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

Vocation:

  1. A strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation
  2. A person’s employment or main occupation, especially regarded as particularly worthy and requiring great dedication.
  3. A trade or profession

You know it is funny when you look up the definition of a word and there are multiple definitions of a word and they all fit together and for a single concept that is true.  The word ‘vocation’ is such a  word for me right now.

For a long time my vocation was defined by a single word – ‘pastor’.  I left that behind me like and old worn out garment which can no longer be mended.  I threw it in the trash for a lot of reasons. Most notably that I no longer consider it an honorable profession myself.  I don’t speak of this often because I am not trying to be offensive; particularly for those people who are my friends in the ministry, but I made my living basically telling stories and giving people encouragement through belief in something that may not even be true. There is a lot of falsehood to it; to put it kindly.  The only real part of my job that  feel now might have been helpful was to coach people though some of their tough life decisions.  Life coach if you will.  You don’t need a religion to do that.

So now what?  Well, trying to take twenty years of people and organizational skills, a political science degree and my soon to be 50 year old self and have a new vocation that is 1) suitable for me, 2) becomes a new main occupation that people find worth of pursuit and 3) is my new profession. This is the goal.  It is the Business Virtues that guide me the most in this.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Long term a vocation leads to the kind of self-reliance I am really looking for. The kind that allows me to look to the future with a basic knowledge that my wife and I will be OK as we grow older for many years to come.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Something worthy of dedication and time spent doing it. I want something that actually accomplishes something real and tangible that people can see. To be respected again is probably the most noble part of Industriousness.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

The ultimate goal is a prosperity that my profession or trade gives me that I can share or use to help others. To build wealth and give. Something my old vocation never really gave me the opportunity to do.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I want something that has one other quality.  It allows me the opportunity to do the right thing and help others get though things in their life.  The life coach aspect of the ministry is probably the one thing I truly enjoyed over the years, I would like something that allows me to do that again in some form.  It’s why I lean toward Human Resources in Business.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – zero.

Still struggling with this one. The truth be told as I look at the calendar, I need to revise my routines again when we hit March.  My birthday month has always been a good time to completely overhaul or revise things and this Routine along with many others will be going under revision.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

A lot of these goals have March deadlines.  They will be compelled so a few more goals will increase the number below.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Eye on the prize of number six.   It remains there like a great golden crown.  Every day is a step towards it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens: Perseverance – Stubborn Purpose

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I think when it comes to Perseverance, my strength with it is that it comes very naturally.  On the other side of it; because it does come naturally to me, it is hard to write about it and explain it. The things that come most naturally to a person are so deep-seated at times that they do the almost without thought.  So when someone asks you how you do it; it’s not that you don’t know, it is that you find it hard to explain something that is probably best described as deeply spiritual.

So when I keep getting up from defeat or failure, I guess the best thing to say about it is that I don’t like the feeling of being down on the ground, so I stand back up a quickly as possible.  It is just habit.  I suppose that is the goal of following every virtue, that the actions they lead you to do be come automatic habit. In this case, I think I am there already in that respect.  Mostly my growth here is trying to figure out how Perseverance applies to more and more things and the way it applies and to what extent.  How much of this stubbornness with a purpose is needed to get through life successfully.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

To me the need for perseverance connects with the simple basic need to survive.  But more than that, I don’t think any successful person; at any level, has ever gotten there without Perseverance.  You will never be successful at anything unless you keep training, practicing, follow discipline and do it over and over again until you are successful. If you don’t get how much this is necessary, than that is probably the reason you are not successful.

Wants (Freki):

Wanting Perseverance seems secondary when you consider how much it is needed. You want it because you want that feeling of being on top of the mountain, of looking at what you have built and having that feeling of being satisfied, etc.  You don’t get to those moments without Perseverance.

Reason (Huginn):

Survival and Success are two rational goals in life. “Live long and prosper.” Like it or not there are other forces in this world that will challenge that and you need some force to counter them.  Perseverance is that force.

The part I am discovering now is how perseverance connects with purpose.  How it gives you purpose.  It gives you reason to keep going.  How it gives you clearer vision of what you want to be and how you are going to get there. It makes such vision practical and very real.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I think I have learned the most life lessons after standing back up again. I have gained the most wisdom just standing back up. You, the gentle reader, read a lot of things here on The Grey Wayfarer that are simply a product of me standing up again.

Conclusion:

“Coyotes Never Quit.” It statement that was made to me by my football coach back in 9th grade during the heat of two a day practices.  It is something, that has stuck with me.  Back then it meant in four years, no matter how I felt. I never missed a practice and I never used an excuse not to get back on my feet. I never got too much opportunity to play on the field, but for life later, it has been the secret to my survival and successes.  It has given my life Stubborn Purpose.  Otherwise known as Perseverance.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Higher Calling

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If I struggle with anything  since departing from Christianity, it is my loss of a sense of ‘higher calling’. I mean religion in general feeds into this ego we all have a higher purpose, that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and ‘God loves you, so you are special’ and ‘Everyone has a higher calling’. Since throwing off such notions, I have come to the notion that these things are not the product of simple existence. If I want to have a sense of ‘higher calling’ and want experience a sense of purpose, I have to create it myself. I don’t get these things by the fact my mother gave birth to me.  My existence does not make it so.

The Foundational Virtues really help with this.  I live my life to have a sense of honor.  To do that I must face the truth of things with courage. The Viking notion of living your life bravely at every moment is something I strive for because I can see it is a very ‘realistic’ higher calling.  It is not completely based on the idea of and afterlife, but also the notion of being a better person day by day. That is something I can cling to as a higher calling.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

As I approach my 50th birthday (3 weeks from today), I look back at a half a century of life. Honestly, there has been good, bad and ugly in it. I feel in some respect some of those years were a waste of time. If I want any feeling that day; it is that despite all the bad, ugly and waste of time now.  I have a sense of personal honor within that nothing can shake.  A feeling of a positive future and to see the good in myself and to look positively to what life I have left to live.  To see the good in myself and others around me like my family and my remaining friends would make the last 50 years worth it.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The future for me is an interesting concept.  Whatever end I might face, I want it to be said that I faced it with courage.  To be known as a person who does the right thing always and that is part of my character.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty is a double edge sword.  It cuts through the lies, but it also can cut your own soul at times. If there is a part of my higher purpose to be lived it is to be pursuing what is true.  Trying to be a person that finds it and then uses it to live better.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is a new a different concept to me. It is about honor, courage and truth far more than feelings of calling. Trying to do the honest, brave and respectful thing every time is a challenge, but it is a calling of sorts.  One that I place on myself.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Been pretty much a challenge at times.  Something is going on right now that gets my thoughts racing in a lot of directions when I get up in the morning; it makes it hard to focus even with meditation.  Might be a different form of The Grey.  I just know I need to refocus as I went from hoping I could have a perfect week with this to something far less than I was even doing. First time in a while the morning routine has been a problem. Need to redouble my efforts.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

As I look at this list there are a lot of things that could be done very quickly if I had the monetary resources to do them.  It still keeps coming back to finding a better job and that needs to be a priority along with getting my internship done.

Weightlifting:

This week was one of those week I really missed the iron in my life. I miss the simplicity of doing a deadlift or leg presses.  It was also kind of depressing to think about my old gym being basically gone. I put so much time there, in that place, that was productive and now it’s just a memory.  I need that feeling back of progress and productivity and there was no place like the gym to get it.  I need to either have that or something at home that will do that too.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – The Path to Self-Fulfillment

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I find walking to be fulfilling.  In that regard, I think the path I choose in life should also be fulfilling.  I never want to be in the position I was before asking: “What do I get out of this?”, and not have a positive answer.  I don’t believe this is selfish, so much as it is self-preservation.  Perseverance requires something within to stand back up and keep going.  Something has to feed that.  We do things that either feed that or drain it. When we are drained, we can do some very dumb things to find peace and happiness.  I speak from experience.

Putting it together then as I stand at a crossroads o fork in road as life’s wayfarer, I guide my decisions based on these there criteria. Does this path lead to Virtue, does this path lead to Success and does this path lead to Self-fulfillment.  If the path has a yes to all three of those, it is likely one I should take, More often than that I find that either 1) Many paths meet this three-fold requirement and then other factors come in or 2) none of them meet all three, so I pick the one that has the most, and then hope for a choice down the road that is better.

At the end of the day, I simply want to look back at my choices as say they followed virtue, lead to success and were fulfilling personally.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I still keep looking to make discipline more and more of my life. Getting past the times of The Grey is simply easier when I do things automatically.  I am however making a major change in that I am working on the idea that all my steps and routines must be done as much as possible before I can take a break or do something I enjoy.  The greatest challenge I face is to take a break from things, and then not have the discipline to return.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess the feeling I have here is like a hiker who has hiked through as storm and now looks back from the hill and sees that storm behind him.  It doesn’t mean that there are not more storms ahead, but there is some satisfaction in looking at what I survived. Then you look forward in new strength and keep going forward.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It is times of the Storm that challenge you in regards to fidelity.  There is tension between loyalty to ones self, and loyalty to those who have been loyal to you.  Some how you have to be loyal to yourself and do what you need to do for you, but at the same time not forget those who have been loyal to you.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Virtue, Success, and Self-fulfillment.  Sounds like the path of wisdom to me.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

#1 and #3 are still on hold until the weather improves and I get a better job that can allow me to afford the gym again.   I have an idea for writing that will probably start me down that path more consistently.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

The evening routine is the most challenging of all of them. This is because I have to wait to the end of the day for it to happen and by that time The Grey might basically be motivating me to just go to bed.

Nutrition:

I am definitively have troubles with the zeros.  I don’t think this is a level I will stay at.  The one that worked and was most comfortable and successful was two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  After my birthday, it is where I will probably camp for a while. The one thing I can say is the diet has kept my weight and fitness level stable despite no walking or the gym.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I feel better here.  I don’t like thinking about the past because it is a bummer.  It is sometimes unavoidable.  That said, thinking about a more positive future for myself and my wife has been a good way to move on. Virtue has been the key there.

Business – Success and defining it have been very helpful this week.

Self –  Need to remember me.  Self loyalty is a must.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – My Paganism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

“So when it comes to faith, religion, theology or spirituality Mr. Grey Wayfarer, what exactly do you believe?”

“I am a Deist and a Humanist with Pagan Tendencies.”

Raised Eyebrow

I don’t actually answer this question very often, and I think it is because people who care read this blog and know where I stand. The pagan side of it is more about how in interact spiritually with the world.  I no longer believe in following after other people’s spiritual experience, including the collective experience known as religion. I follow after my own and find the spiritual in sometimes the most mundane of places.  I believe if there is a spiritual side to the universe; the only real way to interact with it, is to engage it myself.

This doesn’t mean I don’t interact spiritually with other people, it is just I now recognize the truth that spirituality is based in self, no matter what people say, that is the truth of it.  Even when people follow so-called religions of faith, the origin of faith is internal and that is the simple truth of it. You choose to believe what you want and engage the spiritual in the way your engage it.  This is your creation, even if you use other people’s thoughts and experiences to do it. Or if you uses a religion to form your frameworks, you chose that too.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

For me I have faith in myself, my family, my friends and the creator (if he or she or they exist).  I have faith in my relationships that have shown themselves to be faithful and true.  Fidelity and Faith are closely related to me.  I also have faith in humanity as a humanist, although often joke I do not.  I truly believe that things over time are getting better for humans, even though sometimes I wonder.  I also believe that there are a number of humans who use a number of reasons to tell us otherwise.  They try to get us to believe things are getting worse and that humanity is inherently bad.  Unfortunately, the most common means of this conveying this philosophy to us is religion.

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Religion:

I have no real problem with people who have a religion.  That said I do recognize that one of the driving forces behind every religion I can thinking of, with the exception of paganism, is that were are not good enough, evil or sinners and we need to follow X to overcome that problem. Regardless of the form, religion follows the pattern of:

  1. You are no good, evil, bad or a sinner. Take your pick.
  2. You need to follow our religion so you stop being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  3. We will tell you from now on what to believe, think, and feel so you don’t go back to being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  4. Please make sure you attend regularly to our meetings so we can keep telling you what to believe, think and feel so you don’t go back to being no good, evil, bad or a sinner.
  5. Make sure you leave an offering to support us.

I still marvel at how effective religion is at getting people to pay them to let them do something they could do for themselves for free. No wonder con artists are drawn to religion like  a magnet. There is a fertile ground of suckers.

Even worse is when people get to the point of believing something so strongly that you force it on others. They use political and cultural power to shame, imprison, make illegal and even kill in the name of their religion.  At that point we probably need to realize that religion has led people to psychosis.

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I don’t have that anymore or time/money for it. None of it.

  1. I don’t think people are no good.  They are people who can grow and develop but I don’t assume they are sinners or evil or whatever.
  2. I don’t think people need to join a group to be spiritual or have faith.  You can do that if you wish, but it is not required for either of those things.
  3. People can practice their faith and spirituality any which way they choose.  There is no right or wrong here.
  4. Spend your money and time as you wish.

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Theology:

If the divine exists, I am fairly sure that all religions and thought on the divine, including my own, are fairly wrong about something. I am left to a deistic theology that basically takes me back to Marcus Aurelius idea of the divine is benevolent, the best they could judge me on would be the virtues I tried to live by because they would understand my ignorance.  If the divine is malevolent, better to be destroyed by them and not serve them.  If there is no divine then virtue still has its own rewards in this life. The best way then to do theology is to simply live in virtue.  Live a good life.

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But the other theology that has changed is my theology of humanity.  I just don’t see humanity like religion does – in a hole and needing the divine’s assistance to get out. Rather I see humanity as just human. I would say we all start our just that, and it is up to us at a certain point to make ourselves who we want to be through our choices and actions.  We can grow and find out our true potential or ruin ourselves. It really is left to us.

Spirituality:

I also believe, though it is not a hill I will die on, that we humans have spiritual side. There is more to love than biochemical hormonal exchange. There is something more to loving our children than just race survival. Call whatever that is ‘spiritual’, if you like.  For me this has led to me seeing the spiritual side of life in many things: hugs, kisses, making love, enjoying a walk, viewing a sunset, spending time with friends, working, etc. Just living is a spiritual experience and one that I embrace – this is what my pagan side is embracing.  All of my life has a truly spiritual element to it now that it never had before. That and it allows me to pretty much have some very cool holidays, and I celebrate other holidays from other faiths along side of them without guilt. A pagan is of all things truly tolerant in this regard. There is simply no one way to be spiritual to a pagan.

Conclusion:

Being a pagan in this sense has actually brought a lot of peace to my life.  I know members of my former faith would argue I am deluding myself, but they only drive home the point that religion makes one arrogant and intolerant of humans other than those who share your faith. I also point to the fact that my Four Major Objections to Christianity remain for the most part unchallenged and unanswered.

Truth is, I am at peace with myself far more than I ever was as a Christian.   I have no sin to be saved from, I only need to walk in virtue and grow into what potential I have as a human being. I love being a Deist and Humanist with Pagan tendencies.  It’s the pagan tendencies that make life joyful.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The Path to Success

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

So if there is a compass direction; as far as career direction at this point, it is business with writing on the side. I may still in older age settle down to teaching in a college or university setting; passing on what I know to future generations, but I need to build a new career first. Business suits me because I have long-held the Sam Walton notion that business is about people and ideas (mostly vision), not necessarily money,  My twenty years in the ministry definitely gives me the people skills and my education definitely puts me in the position of ideas.

Writing?  Well I am writer.  A blogging fantasy writer that has yet to get anything published except a single letter in a magazine a long time ago.  Made fifty bucks.  I get writing could be classified as a hobby with me, but It could be a good side career or main career if things really started to get going.  It is never too late with writing as Mary Jackson observed:

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I start with the path of virtue which will hopefully lead to the path of success.  I think a business career; with writing as something I work at because I love it already, is a good option for me.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I just want to wake up in the morning knowing my basic needs will be met and I am at least slowly but surely heading down the path to getting some of the things I want. I don’t want to worry about survival at all. I just want to be in a state of mind that can plan how to build things.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

The means of course is work and what helps is when you enjoy work itself. Where you can learn new ways of being more efficient is also enjoyable. I think the only thing here I am really missing is a job I actually want to do.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I find that a broad definition of hospitality allows me to have a great deal of compassion for people in need still.  The great difference is that I either know I can help or not.  I don’t try this – I will pray for you or think of you – route.  If I can help, I try to find a way to do it.  If I can’t, I don’t.  The issue I think is more prosperity, so I can help more and more often.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Last weeks storm of emotion involved a lot of anger.  This is never productive but I find myself shifting from anger to developing a sense of justice. I may not ever get justice for what happened to me, but I can look at others and what they do and if I can do something about it, I should act.  If there is still a heart of compassion in my life held over from years of ministry; I still bat for the underdog.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – zero.

Oddly enough the Financial transaction thing piles up on the side of my desk.  I don’t get it, as it is one of the easiest things on this routine list.  The zero carb count is almost impossible at home eating dinner with the wife usually kills it.  The main thing in this is more of a seeing how little carbs I can eat in a day.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

There are a couple of goals here for march that speak volumes about what I would like to see at the end a=of about six weeks here.  #9 will be finished on my birthday and I will be working on #3.  Going into my 51st year of life, a new job and feeling as healthy as possible would be a great start and two goals crossed off the list.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

We meet with the tax preparer on Monday and I am hoping for a good result.  I also am job searching, so I hope that bears some fruit as well.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!