Humanism

The Pagan Pulpit – That Which No Longer Serves Me

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Shinedown – Monsters:

I suppose there is a progression to the music today.  The start of it is an understanding that the monsters that live in all of us are very real.  I love the chorus of this song:

‘Cause my monsters are real, and they’re trained how to kill
And there’s no comin’ back and they just laugh at how I feel
And these monsters can fly, and they’ll never say die
And there’s no goin’ back, if I get trapped I’ll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real

The emotions that are the monsters, as our text says, doubt, fear sorrow, confusion and anger.  Monsters that sleep but can be awakened at any moment with disastrous consequences.  Other people may fool people and hurt everyone with their lies and falsehoods, but the real danger is the monsters lurking within us all.

Poem: “The Fire of Fury” by Ed Raby, Sr. 

See the source image

“The Fire of Fury”

A flame burns within me

It is one that I cannot see

It is fueled by my fury.

My motivation,

My anger,

My salvation,

My destruction

My enlightenment

Fire, Light, Anger, Illumination

The Fire of Fury will light my way

Or it will consume me

  • Ed Raby, Sr. – November 24, 2018

I had the title of his poem for quite some time and a feeling of what I wanted to express.  I used it for the subtitle of my Rogue Wizard series at its current state but it kept being the title for a poem too. As I was preparing the Pagan Pulpit for this week, the words began to form.  Poets understand what I mean. I think it speaks for itself.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Indestructible:

It is no secret I like Disturbed. I plan on sitting back after school is over and listening to every one of their albums and songs.  I just haven’t had the time to give listening to music the proper time it deserves and this is one band I want to some attention to in-depth. The progression of today’s songs continues with learning to take the negativity and toxicity of certain emotions and transforming them into that which makes us indestructible.

Text:

“Release all that no longer serves you: “I cast away all doubts, fears, sorrows, confusions, anger to the wind. I release any toxicity that weakens my spirit.” – The White Witch Parlour

Sermon:

Yeah, I am using a quote from a white witch site.  That said when I was a Pentecostal, I swear I heard this same quote from the more Charismatic Movement oriented believers.  It’s amazing how mysticism can change the form it has, but the words and concepts are simply the same.

There is something to be said for the idea of releasing that which no longer serves us when it comes to emotions.  Emotions are raw material.  Parts of them are useful and other parts are chaff that needs to be given to the wind.  The real challenge of dealing with these emotions is learning how to harvest them.  Learning what needs to be released as toxic and unproductive while keeping the parts of them that lead to constructive and healthy action.

The most pronounced example of this I can think of is something that happened this week to me.  I wrote on Tuesday a post: The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Part 3) – Confessions. The process of working through the three issues presented in that post was refining moment for me.  I was working through the emotions and found that I changed in my feelings toward all these situations.  The toxic elements of the emotions are less and the good parts that motivate and bring positive change are now more present. I know what to do about all of them and I am more at peace about that.

The quote today is a personal one that perhaps we all need to say from time to time. Doubt can lead to inquiry into truth. Fear can lead to courage.  Sorrow to joy.  Confusion to enlightenment.  Anger to Motivation.  Once you have let go of the toxic part of these emotions, the positive constructive elements are what makes you more of who you are and who you need to be.

Closing Song: Halestorm – Amen:

Ultimately its your shit to deal with.  Not anyone else’s.  And that ultimately is a good thing. Can I get an Amen?

Parting Thought: 

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Have a great week.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – A Pagan Thanksgiving

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day – Happy Thanksgiving!!!

If someone were to ask me if I could still celebrate Thanksgiving as a non-Christian, I would probably respond – “You still think Thanksgiving is a Christian holiday?  That’s cute.”  The thing is that when you study holidays in general you see a couple of things.  Nearly all cultures and religions have a celebration of thanksgiving to whatever powers are worshiped at the harvest time.  All of them.  The other thing you see is when a country or culture accepts Christianity,  Christians basically repackage the pagan holidays and re-symbolize them for themselves.  In short, Christians have stolen or blended with holidays from all different traditions since Christianity was founded as the early Jewish Christians still celebrated Jewish holidays.  Mostly what you see today is Christians have stolen various holiday traditions from paganism and blended them with their own. It’s why some pagans get mad about the whole thing.

See the source image

Personally, I am taking a different tack this Thanksgiving. I am a deist and I will probably whisper a prayer (something I rarely do anymore) of pure thanksgiving to whatever powers are really out there, if any. But to be honest there are thanks that could be given to many people for that celebration and for the prosperity I receive. So my list of thanks goes to people this year.

  1. I thank my wife for being a forgiving soul who loves me despite all the things that have happened between us.  I haven’t been a very good husband this year, but she deserves wife of the year honors.  Thank you baby. I love you more than ever before.
  2. I thank my Mother for being so generous to us in the past decades for housing us an sheltering us.  She has put up with a lot and still loves us.
  3. I thank my kids for being good kids. You have all followed your hearts and have learned to love with power.  All of you have expressed your love for me this last year and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you.
  4. I thank my grand kids for being kids.  For showing how there can be pure joy in the world for the simple things of life.  For showing me that no matter what the news says, I can see hope in your eyes.
  5. I thank my fellow students at school and my professors.  The learning environment over the years has been awesome.  That is mostly due to you.
  6. I thank my coworkers.  You have given me comradeship that I do value.  It’s nice to work with you, laugh with you and just share this working experience with you.  You make the burdens of it lighter.
  7. As I look at my feast, I thank the farmers, ranchers and all the people who make it possible. To the people who plant, grow, raise, harvest, process and transport all of it – Thank you.
  8. For everyone who keeps the heat and lights on, provides the basics of life and the luxuries.  Thank you.
  9. I thank the watchers of the wall. While I think many of the so-called threats to the nation are the politicians made up are garbage done for political ploys, I know there are real threats out there that you guard against. Thank you.
  10. To my friends, to the ones I have left anyway.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I haven’t made it easy this year I know.  I appreciate the real friends who didn’t bolt at the first sign of trouble.

Yeah, I am going to thank people this year.  Thank you all.

In Thanksgiving,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Stan Lee – Being a Writer

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

See the source image

Seems like every time I turn around here some great icon I love has died and this week its a man who probably inspired my imagination more than any other during his life. Mostly because he has been around from the beginning.  Spider-Man was to be my favorite comic character for his human struggles, snappy sarcastic wit and he was just plain cool.  But I also found myself reading Stan’s editorial comments in his comic books and discovered a man who was inspiring in his imagination and advice to writers and aspiring comic book artists.  This session of the Pagan Pulpit salutes Marvel Comics’ heart and soul – Stan Lee (1922-2018) – RIP.

Opening Song: Spider Man Theme Song 1960s

https://youtu.be/SUtziaZlDeE

A song from my childhood and one that celebrates probably the best comic character of all time. It may be a cheesy song from the 1960s but that was normal back then.  In any case, my Saturday morning cartoons were dotted with comic book super heroes and Spidey was one of them.  Stan’s ultimate genius was a character that was real as a person but super as a hero.

Poem:

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This poem went viral when Stan wrote it. He released it about two years ago.  It speaks for itself.  Stan was a pretty standard poet.  His words however were anything but normal or standard.

Meditation:

See the source image

Song of Preparation: X-Men Opening Theme

More cartoon stuff but from my teen age to early twenties (yes, I read comics and watched super hero cartoons well into adulthood).  The X-Men were favorites of mine with the underlying tone of them being a call against racism. Stan Lee had a way of letting his characters not only be real, but also they addressed tough issues and the X-Men and its mutants were one of those groups that addressed a hard social issue. Particularly what society does with those that are perceived to be monsters or outcasts.

Text:

“The only advice anyone can give is, if you want to be a writer. keep writing.  And read all you can, read everything.”

Sermon:

Writing is one of my passions of course.  People who talk about writing get my attention.  In truth one of my early instructors was Stan Lee.  Not just through reading his comics but he would have an editorial at the beginning of every comic I read specifically to that group or character.  I loved every moment of reading those.  I mean my friends would read comics but I think I was the only one in my group of friends reading the editorial notes and thinking about how the comics were produced.  The one message that came through is that everything started with a great story.

This is still true.  We have digitized just about everything, but the imagination that casts the original story is still in the writer. It wasn’t the super powers that caught my attention, it was the characters and the story they were in and Stan Lee recognized this.  That’s why his characters and stories survived while many other comics died and disappeared. No matter how cool your graphics, if the story sucks or the people can’t relate to the characters, people will not read it.

You have to be real when you write.  Stan had this thing for the real.  His most famous quote about this is that when it came to comic books he felt they were like boobs. They might look great on a computer, but he would rather have them in his hand.  I concur with this observation and I still feel the same way bout books and other things I read.  I like to sit in a chair and read them and I feel they should sit in my hand as real objects that books, comic books or magazines.  I also feel the same about boobs as well.  Some things have more reality than others.  The more senses you use the more real things seem.

The advice Stan gives to writers is two-fold – 1) Never stop writing.  Keep doing it.  2) Read everything you can.  Not unique perhaps but when you hear enough successful writers say this you begin to realize it is probably true.   As I am now considering writing as a career path, the advice seems more applicable.   It’s advice I will take to heart for the rest of my life.

See the source image

Closing Song: Avengers – Earth’s Mightiest Heroes – Theme Song:

If the X-Men took on racism, just about every issue along with that one, the Avengers addressed.  One of my favorite groups because the cast of characters was constantly revolving and changing,  It introduced me to a lot of characters and character development and as a writer I love that.

See the source image

Stan Lee, you cannot know how many of us loved your work.  You were more than a comic book artist or entertainer.  You were a person who inspired many of us to believe that a better humanity was possible.  That no matter how dark the evil might be, heroes would rise up from the human race and fight it. It was this notion that kept many of us from going off the deep end.  Your work inspired my imagination and for that I will always be grateful.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 2 – Sin: An Imaginary Man-Made Problem

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

My loss of faith really started here.  I can actually go back to a message I was preaching on sin and salvation through Christ and the fact this quote from Dan Barker from Losing Faith in Faith ( a book I still want to read) was rolling around in my head.  I was trying to think of something that would make his assertion wrong.  I got up preached the message and sat down.  I can site this moment as the time my crisis of faith began. I realized he was right.

I realized there is no proof that sin rationally exists.  I only believed that because that was what I was told by a preacher and read it in the Bible.  Unless the Bible was truly inspired, then I had no natural or logical proof that there was this thing called sin, a sinful nature or my actions were righteous or sinful. God Himself had never come down and told me I was a sinner, that was men either in the form of preachers or the men who wrote the Bible.  Over time, I began to realize that sin has the same problem as the inspiration of the Bible – the Bible asserts it but never proves it.

Going back to my pulpit moment, I sat there thinking and my faith started to unravel.  I sat there thinking: “I make a living by telling people they are sinners so they will feel guilty, then they accept the ‘gospel’ and feel better.  Out of gratitude they throw money in the basket and pay me. WTF.”  It was a bad moment for me and one that led to my eventual downfall over two years later.

Faith:

If you are a believer you take the existence of sin as purely a matter of faith.  Basically, if you believe that sin exists, you do it for the same reasons you believe the Bible is inspired.  You have faith it is true – you hope and believe it is true, but you do not have a proof or a rational argument to say it is true.  The Bible writers assume sin is real and a problem.  They never prove it, and the believer is left to take that sin exists as a reality and that God has solved it.  You believe all that without rational evidence.  It is purely a matter of faith.

Religion:

I now think that sin is a man-made concept.  It probably originally. like so many things might have had a good intention.  To keep people from making bad decisions given the cultural context.  I mean sex without birth control and modern medicine can lead to deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancies. So you tell people not to have sex except with people they are committed to and get married to so the child will be legitimate. The practical side of this is the lessened risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. It is a wise course of action.

When just showing the wisdom of this to others doesn’t work, you throw in the wrath of God to bring about a more forceful form of persuasion – tell them it’s a sin against God and He will bring down his wrath on the one who sins.  This is where you make up the concept that sexual sin is an affront to God and he will send you to hell if you don’t repent of it and stop doing it.  It is ultimately a fear tactic that uses guilt to prevent certain behaviors.

The dark side of this gets worse though as people genuinely think they’re taking the side of God when the punish sinners.  The real problem with sin is that some people think they have risen above the concept of it.  They feel qualified to judge others using their religious beliefs. It gets worse because the said concept can be held by people in power who wish to impose their views on people to create a ‘righteous society’.  To force others to follow your moral code of some behaviors being sin and thus outlawed. The problem is the difficulty using reason to prove something is a sin.  It’s not self-evident.

Theology:

I don’t believe in sin as a theological concept anymore. I think in large part it is a bad one because all it does is produce guilt and then in a guilt-ridden state people can be manipulated.  I haven’t looked at this fully but I have a theory a large part of religious people have a poor self-concept and that is because they have a large amount of guilt associated with their ‘sins’.  This leads them to think they are bad or even evil people and the cycle of self-destruction begins.  You spend a lot of time putting on masks at that point to protect yourself from the social wrath of being a sinner while at the same time being wracked with guilt because you can’t seem to escape your sin. If it sounds like I have been there – yep.  I would say a lot of my initial causes of depression came from this struggle.

My theology about mankind has certainly changed since I discarded man as a sinner.  I don’t think of myself as a sinner but simply a human being. I am not all-powerful, all-knowing or all-present; so I am going to make mistakes and there is really nothing I can do about it. I have needs that are normal.  Wants that are normal.  I have my reason and wisdom to guide me. I am not perfect and I make mistakes and have errors in judgment, but that doesn’t mean I am a sinner, just human. To me, life is no longer about overcoming sin and removing it from my life.  Rather, it is about discovering the virtue in me and causing it to grow. And there is a virtue in who I am as a human being if I look for it and develop it.  It about growing into the best human being I can be.

Spirituality:

This is why spiritually speaking I spend more time meditating on the Nine Noble Virtues as a way to learn where I need to grow. I am not trying to get rid of sin out of my life, praying that God is gracious, etc. I have come to see some things as normal and human, not sinful.  My goal now is to build character, not remove sin because I think sin is a made up imaginary concept.  I meditate on the good things, not the bad things.  I grow the good in me, rather than trying to deny my humanity by calling it sinful. I find it makes me much happier and far more at ease in this world.

Conclusion:

After concluding that the Bible is a human book with no proof of inspiration and the sin is a concept made up by the writers of the Bible.  There are only two things left on my four objections to Christianity.  The first is the other imaginary thing the Bible creates which is the solution to sin being Salvation in Christ and finally, the god of the Bible seems to have very suspect standards of justice.

You will have to hang on a while though as next week I will talk about how I can as a Deist, Humanist Pagan celebrate Thanksgiving.  The week after that I will talk about Why I am a Humanist.  Then I will get to my third theological objection to Christianity on the first Thursday of December. The remaining schedule for Odin’s Eye for the year looks like this:

November 22 – Why I Celebrate Thanksgiving (as a Deist, Humanist Pagan).

November 29 – Why I Am a Humanist

December 6 – Objections to Christianity – Part 3 – Salvation through Christ – An Imaginary Man Made Solution.

December 13 – Why I Am A Pagan

December 21 – Yule

December 28 – Objections to Christianity – Part 4 – The Justice of the God (Hell)

Then it will be on to the New Year.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 47 – Enjoying Humanity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Voices:

https://youtu.be/pKlg3jYMwRU

I have been listening to this one a lot this week.  It kind of goes along with the theme this week, so I will keep the commentary about it until the Sermon.

Poem:

“My Soul Has Eyes”

The Mirror to the Soul

So they are called.

I can’t see my own

unless I look in the mirror.

I wonder what part of my soul people see?

The part of my soul that is tired and depressed

The part of my soul that has regrets

The part of my soul that bleeds with wounds new and old

The part of my soul that is black and dark

or the part that shines in hope and love.

I wish I knew what people see in my eyes

What part of my soul is laid bare.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 25, 2018

I must confess my writing of poetry is bitter sweet.  It enjoy it on the one hand because it allows me to express feelings in words that normal writing doesn’t do.  I need that from time to time.  On the other hand the memories of the person associated with me learning to write poems better and understand them better comes up every time I do it, and that just makes me sad.  I guess it’s something I just live with, because I can’t seem to stop writing them from time to time.  Sometimes its the only thing that works.

Meditation: 

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I post a lot of memes and sayings on Facebook.  Just so everyone knows, the Meditation for the week usually comes from one of them I posted that past week.  It’s the one that meant the most to me.

Song of Preparation:Van Halen – Love Walks In:

The story associated with this song for me is that I was standing in a convenience store a little after my wife and I started reconciling.  This song came on and the guy behind the counter was singing it.  I joined in; which is not something I normally do.  The guy behind the counter stopped to listen to me and asked if the song meant something to me.  I told him until that moment, no.  But now it did.  Not only did it reflect at the time the new feelings of love I had for my wife but there was a very human moment there with that guy.  Humanity didn’t seem all that bad to me at that time.

Text: Havamal 47

Young was I once, I walked alone,
and bewildered seemed in the way;
then I found me another and rich I thought me,
for man is the joy of man.

Sermon:

It is really hard to be objective about the nature of humanity.  Most of us think humans as a rule are not the greatest thing to ever happen to us.  Some people I imagine love people, but there are a good chunk of us that have problems with humanity.  Some of us, like in the video of Disturbed’s song ‘Voices’, have our fantasies about getting back at the bullies, getting revenge on the girl who dumped us or tying up a difficult boss.  It truly is freaky shit that we think of sometimes isn’t it when it comes to how we would like to respond toward some people’s actions toward us.  The voices are pretty convincing that even we are not all that great.

If we were honest though, most of the people in our lives are a lot like us.  Just trying to make their way in the world and do the best they can.  Very few people in our lives actually deliberately try to make our lives miserable.  There are a few, I will acknowledge that, but for most part, people seem decent enough.

I think this is more evident if you have ever been lost alone away from people for a while or wonder if you can find your way back to them.  I have had this experience at least twice.  It is an intense relief when you actually find another person.  I get what Odin is saying in Havamal 47.  Like it or not we need our fellow humans and very few of us are misanthropes.

In fact, I would argue that many times at our lowest point it has been someone else who helped us out of it.  Some person who saw us in our suffering and actually stopped to help, or as we wandered we ran into someone who inspired us. I would say our positive encounters with humans actually probably outweigh our negative ones.

At the very least we become like the guy in the Disturbed video of ‘Voices’.  We drop our anger and desire for vengeance and simply walk off to the mosh pit and try to find a more human ‘loving’ way to get rid of our anger. Perhaps that is the greatest testimony to humanities goodness after all – that we choose to find another way that is constructive.  Very few of us actually act on the voices.

Closing Song:  Slash Street Boys – “I’ll Kill You That Way”:

A little Halloween Humor to send you off today.  Enjoy the Week and Happy Halloween!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Budget Plan

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Budgeting is not something new to me.  I have handled things before like this, mostly though I find budgeting tedious and boring, so I find ways to do it that are quicker.  Thankfully computer software these days makes things go much better.  Mostly though the plan for budget is pretty simply from my perspective.

When I was a Christian, I followed Dave Ramsey a lot.  The fact is his basic plan makes a lot of sense simply because it follows tried and true things. I don’t see that I have to change my respect for its wisdom.  We are in debt again and we do need to make more money to combat that but we also need a plan to get back to financial health again. Our plan follows the Dave Ramsey pattern.

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

There is a missing step as I have children but they are all grown up and I pretty much told them what my family told me – ‘you want college education, pay for it yourself.’  Step 5 for us wold be more of buy a small home and pay it off quickly because right now we rent an apartment and probably will continue to rent until we get to a point of being debt free.

After twenty years of being in the ministry I have little to show for it.  I don’t own a home.  I have a lot of debt and some things have had to be cut.  Probably the most devastating right now is health insurance.  We can’t afford it with the payments we have to make on other things and that means both my diabetes and my wife issues will have to be handled out of pocket and nope – we don’t have the money for that either.  Hopefully nothing major happens.

If we have any further need its to start making more money and that is why I accelerated school to be pretty much done except the internship, so I can start marketing my degree for a better job. I would stay where I am but they would need to make me more than a grunt worker at this point and they would also have to make me full-time instead of 32 hours a week. At this point in my life it is about retirement and that means I am about 20 years behind people my same age because of being a pastor all that time in my first career. Yep, it’s a tall order but I don’t just want to survive but thrive.

As an aside if you are thinking of ministry as a career, I recommend going to a secular school for your bachelor’s and get it in something you can make money doing.  Do that for twenty years and get your financial life in order and then go get you Masters in Divinity and be a pastor. Trust me on this, you will thank me for it.

Right now we could be classified as working poor.  Not poor enough to qualify for government handouts, but not rich enough to get ahead.  That needs to change soon and for me that means a better job with more money so we can breathe again.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Achieving greater purposes is a line in the virtue I have been thinking about a lot lately.  When I look at things in my financial future I think others are going to play a role.  What I want is my own business to take into retirement.  I want it to be my retirement.  Not having something to do, I think is the death of a lot of people.  The one’s who live the longest understand discipline and sticking with something.

At this point I have all the plans in place, bucket list, goals and routines.  Now its time to take all these pieces and step back and reform the bigger picture.  I think though I will do a separate post on this under The Rabyd Skald platform probably this afternoon.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Not much to say here other than I keep going and I keep getting up. Right now school needs to have more attention and so I am making my plans to put more effort in and finish.  I may limp over the line but I will finish.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I am a deist, humanist and somewhat of a pagan and so I am loyal to those philosophies. I am truly working on being loyal to myself, my wife and my family.  The Self and marriage is a tougher one to keep in balance because to have a marriage often involves sacrificing what you want at times.  I just don’t want to give up too much loyalty to myself.  I still want what I want and for my sake, I can’t give it all up.  At the same time I want this marriage to work and be better than ever.  I am loyal to my friends, they need only ask and I will do what I can.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Crisis of Faith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Probably for the purpose of the future of Odin’s Eye I am going to cover three areas. Firstly, I want to cover my current state of belief in greater detail so I will have three posts one on each of the following: Deism, Humanism and Paganism.  Secondly, I want to offer my four objections to the God of the Bible in detail, so there will be  post on each of them. Thirdly, If I am reading my calendar correctly, this will take me into December as I will probably use Odin’s Eye as a sounding board around Halloween and when it falls on Thanksgiving to talk about those holidays and how I celebrate them now ending with Yule or Christmas.

Before I start all of that though, I want to talk about the nature of my Crisis of Faith and some of the foundational things that led to it. Before I begin going trough the four things I normally do in Odin’s Eye, I want to explain on an emotional level this crisis I had this past two years was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face.  I would rate only my father’s death and the period time around my near divorce as more emotionally trying.  That said this crisis lasted over two years.  It was not an instantaneous thing and it probably led to a very vulnerable emotional state over a long period of time.  Since I have owned up to the fact I just don’t believe in Christianity anymore, it has been very welcome relief from the emotional strain.

Faith

My crisis of faith starts with the simple fact that as far as faith goes I was told to have a thinking Christianity.  That is a reasonable faith all my life.  It is interesting that my Sunday School teacher seems to at the end of her life had a similar experience as myself, but it was she who also told me that God can handle your questions and will be able to answer them or he is not God.  I was taught early on to search the Scriptures.  It was in this search I simply found eventually after forty years, questions I still do not have answers for and probably never will.  The issue though with faith is that the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 suddenly became nonsense to me because at face reading it is nonsense. It’s simply nonsense to say that which we hope for is evidence.  Wishful thinking but not evidence.

Religion

It’s not that the religion known as Christianity hasn’t played a part as well in the crisis.  Throughout my ministry career of twenty years, I have watched people who claim Christianity, in the name of  their religion, do some pretty despicable things to each other. One of my personal objections to Christianity is the gospel doesn’t live up to the hype of personal transformation of those who claim to have been ‘saved’.  It was never the religion that appealed to me.  It was the theology.  In the end the rituals and doctrinal statements and the expectations of the religion left me empty and if anything drained me, so it offered no comfort or security to my faith.

Theology

It’s the theology really that certain questions (which I will go over in the coming weeks) that left me going – “What the hell?”  It actually started with the notion of ‘sin’ as a concept.  When I realized that there was nothing natural in the world that said certain things are inherently sinful, I began to sense a problem.  If some preacher in my childhood hadn’t come along and told me I was a sinner, I would have never had that notion in my head. Sin is simply not self-evident, nor has the God who exists (if one exists) ever come to me personally and told me I was a sinner. In a sense Christianity tells you that you have a disease (without first proving empirically that the disease exists) and then offers you a cure.  They cure a problem of their own creation.

With that understood I realized a few more things about the Bible and the god it presents. 1) The Bible has no empirical evidence that it is inspired.  It makes that claim but never proves it – you accept it on faith or you don’t. 2) The God of the Bible seems to not have a very good plan for solving the problem of sin for a supreme being.  Why doesn’t he just forgive the sin against him like he expects us to do with each other?  Nope, Instead he kills his own son!?!  3) The god of the Bible’s justice is a little suspect, especially when you consider Hell. I will go over these in the coming months so bear with me as I offer more explanations over time.

Spirituality

Through it all however, I have held on to some beliefs – Deism, Humanism and elements of what Christians would consider Pagan have survived.  I believe in Reason, Humanity and the Spiritual.  I meditate but for different reason.  Probably the weird thing still to me is I don’t pray.  To whom?  Prayer has always bothered me anyway because most of the time it is asking for things and when a prayer is ‘answered’ you never hear the end of it from those who prayed because they claim credit for the result even though they might have had very little to do with it.  I figure the supreme being of the universe either doesn’t give a fuck, gave us what we need in ourselves to handle the problem or doesn’t exist so we are on our own.  Pray is in some ways presumptuous that our problems and our value means something to the divine to the point they will act on our behalf.  If god truly is our friend its  pretty one side friendship because of the way we pray.

For me a lot of things are spiritual but how that matters is still something I exploring and learning about to see where I am and where I am going.  All of this has brought me back to a Seeker level and to be honest this spiritual wayfarer prefers to stay that way.  If the divine powers that might exist, choose to bless me or do something for me may it be because of my deeds as I walk. not because I begged them through prayer.

Basically what I am saying this involved belief in Christianity in relationship to reasonable assessment.  Nothing more and nothing less. If you think its more personal because of recent events in my life, you would be wrong.  Those have an effect on my spirituality because of the emotions involved.  But my Crisis of faith was intellectual and theological in particular.

What I want people to understand is that a crisis of faith is a serious matter.  It rips you up in ways only another person who has been through it can truly understand.  If you have never been through it, I am sorry you can’t relate but I can tell you don’t dismiss the emotions involved or the seriousness of them. It can cause deep depression that is no laughing matter.  It also shouldn’t be just dismissed for many other reasons.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Morning Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day –  I actually find this one the most interesting.  We have shrunk it down to Friday which is the spelling of Frigg but we say it Fry which reflects Freya.  

My to do list still has a few things on it.

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Daily Routine
  3. Weekly Routine
  4. Bucket List

I also have some planning to do regarding weightlifting and diet.  So we all know what I will be doing today and next week.

My morning routine is about doing the daily stuff that can be done right away every day and getting myself off to a positive start.  So it involves things that wake me up and get me thinking about the things I need to think about.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I think most of these are self-explanatory.  A few notes:

My meditation is on one of the NNV.  The reason I do this is to ponder it a little more deeply and see if I am understanding the wisdom of it a little more fully.  If there is something noteworthy, I usually write it down.

My Full Body Stretch is an every morning thing and takes about 15 minutes.  I have discovered that as I get older this is helpful in having less joint stiffness and soreness the rest of the day.

My supplements are actually a short list.  I would probably do more supplements but they are expensive and I don’t have the extra money for them right now. Mostly it’s a multivitamin, fish oil for my eyes and a joint supplement.  My medications are diabetic stuff.  No insulin yet thankfully.

Oh, the last one is getting dressed for the day.  The nice thing about having my own place now is the privacy.  It allows me to dress or not dress as I feel.  Like my father, I am comfortable in my own skin as much as I am clothed.  I just don’t see much point in getting dressed until after I take my shower.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I am starting to be harder on myself in the right way.  I can do more and do better.  This is particularly true when it comes to school and my job.  I am definitely learning to be more disciplined in school.  Mostly I am still behind on reading.  Getting these routines more formalized is also helping things a bit in this area so it has been overall a good thing.

I am looking at all things in my life and the Morning routine is not a problem.  It’s the daily stuff I need to be doing better at.  I will talk more on this on Monday.  That’s why if I can put a thing in the morning routine I do it.  It pretty much makes sure it gets done. The Daily routines are often conditional on my daily schedule and that causes problems from time to time.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I have had a recurring nightmare/dream that has caused me some trouble this week.  Mostly,  it involves people I used to know and care for gathering around me and mocking me and what I am trying to do.  I go to work and someone is standing nearby and yelling at me that I am worthless.  It finally culminates in me being surrounded by these people and they pick up rocks and stone me.  Right before I die, I wake up.

I put this under perseverance because dreams and nightmares like this one used to shake me but now I just kind of shrug them off.  They do trigger The Grey a little, and I have to fight through it, but thankfully my wife helps a lot with that.  Knowing she loves me when she could be a part of that crowd is a remarkable and special thing to me.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My issue these days is not loyalty as far as if I am loyal.  My issue is what to be loyal to these days. I am loyal to my wife and family.  I know I have to prove that a lot after what has taken place, but I stand by them.  I work on being loyal to myself.  I am loyal to the friends I still have left.  Those that have turned their back on me – fine.  I let a lot of that go.  Less friends, less hassle.  Apparently their friendship didn’t include loyalty to me when I needed them the most. There are a few who have engaged in outright treachery against me.  Those?  Well, justice demands that if I ever get the chance to get justice, I will take it.  It’s not a vengeance thing, just balancing the scales if the opportunity presents itself.  Fidelity demands it.  I will remain patient and watchful.

It’s the faith thing in the gods/goddesses that is troublesome. I can loyal to the concepts of the NNV and the ideals of deism, humanism and even paganism as I define them.  I am still a seeker in that regard, so its hard to know what to be loyal to other than the principles.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – My Faith as It Stands Today

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Odins Eye 001

This will normally appear on Thursday; that is Thor’s Day but this opening week of The Grey Wayfarer it will be Friday; that is Freya’s Day. Odin’s Eye, as a post, is about faith, religion, theology and spirituality. Mostly is all of those things as they stand in my life and how I relate to these things. My struggles with religion and faith are pretty much a constant. For most of my life I have struggled with them. My faith as a Christian literally has teetered on the brink several times in my life and only recently have I decided to be truly honest about it and walk away from the religion known as Christianity. For the last few months I have been what I truly am, which is a Deist, a Humanist and a Pagan. More on all three of these as Odin’s Eye continues in the weeks ahead, but for now know that I am no longer a Christian and it has very little to do with recent events.

My Walking Away From Christianity

I want to change people’s perception here about what happened about my faith, because I have been accused of walking away from Christianity because of what Christians have done toward me recently and my observations of Christians. Well, I would be the first to say that has something to do with it, but it was not where the struggle began and one should not look at the followers of a religion to assess whether or not a religion is true. The truth of a religion should be tested in its claims and whether or not such claims can be rationally verified. Experience is no good here because I can tell you every religion has people experience something that ‘verifies’ the religion to the one who had the experience. History is no test either. History will show you that religions all make historical claims but are they verified by outside sources and multiple witnesses? Also, just because something is historical, does not mean that it automatically reveals who God, the gods or the divine reality truly is. Nope we are left with one tool to assess truth and that is reason. There are few things that sets humanity above the rest of the animal kingdom and one of those is the use of reason to assess truth.

I have spent a long time as a Christian trying to mesh its claims with rational investigation and I now can say that some of the claims of Christianity have no rational proof for their claims of truth. Because of this, you take a lot in Christianity hoping it is true, but not really knowing if it is true. Over time through various studies I developed four major objections to the theology of Christianity, for which I could not rationally come to good conclusions. It was these that caused me to walk away from faith, nothing more and nothing less.

Now recent events where Christians have acted toward me in very non-Christian manners may have caused me to walk away faster, but in truth I was already showing my backside to the Christian faith long before then. Not trying to be insulting there, just facing facts. My leaving the faith is my own decision and I am blaming no one for it. There really isn’t ‘blame’ here; just a decision to be honest where I stood. I don’t perceive of my walking away from Christianity as a tragedy from my point of view, although I am sure many Christians would see it as such. To me, I simply became more honest and truly myself. I stopped hiding my failures behind notions of sinfulness and started facing them honestly as a man should face them in this world. I didn’t change, so much as I found my true self. I am a rational human being and there are four things that I cannot reconcile with being rational human being and being a Christian.

My Four Theological Objections:

  1. The Bible cannot be rationally verified to be God inspired. The Bible makes a claim to be inspired but it never proves it and there is no empirical proof that the Bible is any different from any other book in the world. If you believe the Bible is divinely inspired, you have no evidence for it, you just believe it to be true.
  2. Sin is a completely man-made made up concept. There is nothing in the world that tells you are a sinner. Some preacher came along and told you that you were a sinner and then offered you a cure. But let’s be honest there is no person alive who hasn’t done something they regret or was ‘bad’, so any snake oil salesman can play into that and say you are a sinner and then sell you the cure. They really don’t prove sin as a concept really exists or that it is the problem you actually have. They just reinforce your assumptions. They don’t prove those assumptions are true, they just play on them.
  3. God’s answer to sin is to torture his only son and kill him, this is an answer that doesn’t make a bit of rational sense as God could easily just forgive us without all this. Either the God of the Bible is a sadistic fuck or not too smart if this is the best he could come up with to solve the ‘sin problem’. There is the additional problem of how much of a sacrifice and torture is it, if you know with certainty that you are going to be healed from all injuries and rise from the dead in the end?
  4. The Bible presents God’s justice as a little suspect, especially when you consider the doctrine of Hell. I mean you get all eternity roasting in a fire because you did a few bad things. I mean we might understand with people like Stalin and Hitler, but grandma who never hurt a fly but never accepted the gospel of Christ because she didn’t buy it, gets the same punishment as them? Even the Bible’s own standard of justice makes this suspect – ‘eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ I mean making God mad is such a high crime that I must spend eternity in hell for it? How is that the punishment fitting the crime? Yeah, I could go all day. If you don’t consider this a problem, you never have really considered the doctrine of Hell or it’s implications for those you love that have not accepted the gospel.

I spent many years trying to reconcile these things and couldn’t. Now either this speaks to my lack of ability to do so, or they are just not reconcilable because the whole thing is made up by humans for whatever reasons. I am not saying I am infallible but I have asked my questions of some of the smartest people in Christianity I know and you know what their answer is? The same as I can get from any preacher – ‘you just have to take some things on faith.’ Yeah, so you’re saying faith is a cop-out to any question too hard for you to answer? Sorry, that is no longer acceptable to me. If Christianity is genuine and true, it should be able to answer my questions. That is something I have maintained since I was twelve.

Personal Stuff

Yeah, there is personal stuff too. But that isn’t my main reasons – they are listed above. So where I stand each week will be reflected on in Odin’s Eye. It was not however all the personal stuff that cause this ‘crisis’ of faith. Rather the personal stuff was probably caused by my struggles in finding and accepting the truth about myself and where I really was because of these four things. Uncertainty breeds uncertainty and in that uncertainty shit happens.

Faith:

I believe in something out there. I am a deist, not an atheist. I think atheism and deism actually can get along because we’re both saying ‘ we can’t really know’. The difference is, I think it’s just as bold a claim to say ‘there is no God’ as there is to say ‘there is one and we have him (or her) all figured out and here is our religion for you’. Sorry mankind is a little too ignorant to make such universal claims either way.

Religion:

Yeah, it’s all man’s attempt to understand God. But like all things man does, it is prone to mistakes and error. Can you find truth in religion? Yep, but I don’t think any of them are The Truth or give us THE Truth. For that we need to turn to reason as our way of finding the truth.

Theology:

If we are going to understand God, I think revealed religion is more of a problem than a cure. We have to conclude that if we are going to understand the Creator, we are going to have to look at his creation including mankind to figure him out. Not the specifics of what certain men have written that says He, She or They are a certain way. The Creator gave us reason, not religion. Perhaps we should use it.

Spirituality:

I still meditate on these things and think about them. I just haven’t made a lot of ‘progress’ by not writing about them. Time to change that by doing so each week in Odin’s Eye.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!