The Higher Virtues

A Skald’s Life – The Business Virtues – Dreaming Big

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal:

I think the whole plan is starting to come together and this is now more about acting and adjustment than actual planning.  I am starting to dream big again and I like the assertive confidence it is creating in me.  It’s nice to feel a little more sense of honor and discipline coming back into my life.

I still struggle with the emotions of loss.  I had several relationships cut short by my own actions and the actions of others.  I am working on restoring my most important relationship with my wife but the others remain difficult.  People can say ‘come on over and we will talk and still be friends’ but I know the reality of that is either just being polite or it would truly be awkward and everyone knows it.  In one relationship, I am actually not sure what I would feel, but as I said Monday, I think there is still a closure problem with it, at least with me.

What seems to help the most is staying true to the Big Dreams I have on my bucket list and working toward them.  It’s baby steps at this point.  I hope in the future it will be larger steps. One day the dreams will be reality, so I work toward them. It is perhaps this process that will pull me out of this funk I seem to get into every once and a while.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Blessed independence.  There are a few things unmet yet that are wants but needs are met and that is a good thing.  One ‘need’ might be health insurance at this point but in truth me and my wife will muddle through until we have opportunity to get some when we are making more money.  Hopefully that won’t take too long.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

My current work is sometimes an enjoyable thing.  I like the feeling that I actually did something useful.  Been a while since I felt that way.  I do work to make my job efficient but now I have come to see doing so at home as far as cleaning and organizing things can have that quality too.  Even school work is starting to be enjoyable again.  I still have my struggles but the routines and focusing on the future seem to be helping.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I have big dreams of being prosperous, but part of that is the idea of being in a position to be hospitable and giving back.  My motivation is not hording wealth so much as prosperity I can share with others.  Right now If someone were truly in need I could help them by at least giving them a place on the floor in the living room and sharing a meal with them.

The dream is far larger than this.  I want to be able to help people more often.  Setting up a charity perhaps but more practically, I know the main thing people need is support and that often involves a serious look at yourself in an atmosphere of loving accountability.  My one regret in ministry in my last church is changing the prayer group from a spiritual self-evaluation session into just a bible study.

I really think support groups are far more needed where a person can be honest about what is going on in their life and get emotional and other support.  When that changed, I personally lost the ability to be accountable to myself and I think that left me vulnerable and it cost me.  I would like to restore that and give it to others who also need it like myself.

Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Daily routines are a little harder.  Mostly time is a factor. I always have to juggle sleep with getting the routine done for the day.  Or I try to stick with the priority order but priorities do change depending on circumstances.  Some things on this list will take less time if I stay up on them as this problem will become less of a problem as I keep doing what I need to do each day.

Goals: 

  1. Strengthen Marriage
  2. Finish my Political Science Degree
  3. Advance Career
  4. Monitor and Control Finances
  5. Write for my Blog  – 1 post per day average.
  6. Exercise
  7. Follow a Solid Diet Plan
  8. Create and work a Bucket List.

Dreaming Big.  When I look at this list of goals the picture of taking steps to get to the dream of owning my own business and retiring to be the philosopher/writer in the woods doesn’t seem so unattainable.   As I check off items on all these lists, I think I will begin to see that more clearly. Right now its the early stages so its hard to see the big dream come to fruit but as the months go by and things get checked off this list, it will get clearer.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 still in progress.  The issue is going to be any extra income needs to be saved into an emergency fund until we get $1000.  Once school is finished I need to find some ways to make more money: either a better job, second job or taking matters into my own hands.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Voting or Playing the Lotto

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

Introduction:

I am on campus a lot as a student and have been over this last three and a half years and at every election time the message by the school is clear, get out there and vote.  “It’s your civic responsibility”. “You can make a difference.”  The problem with being an Economics Minor is when you start doing an analysis of voting using economic law and principles, you discover to your horror as a Political Science Major that your individual vote matters little.

It was humorous this last week as the Power Ball Lotto reached 1.6 Billion and I saw people lining up around the country for their almost statistical zero chance of winning it. Many of same people will adamantly tell me I am wasting my vote by voting for Libertarian candidates because they won’t win.  The irony is a little thick there because voting is very much like playing the lotto.  You are doing an action that might have the very small statistical chance of actually affecting the outcome of an election.

On to the Wolves and Ravens:  

Needs (Geri):

I am doing a little bit of switch here because as I already indicated I am a libertarian and so the first thing I am going to talk about is whether government is legitimate.  I think it in most cases is not even necessary.  Like I said on Sunday in the Pagan Pulpit on Havamal 47 – people in general are decent people. There are always bad apples and some people want protection against those apples, so humans start out with the idea of government as a means to do that.  If I take a Classical Liberal position you have government needed for a way of settling deputes and to provide protection of human rights, this would involve a need for courts, internal security (fire and police) and defense.  Other than that most other things could be handles by voluntary associations and the free market.

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Wants (Freki):

So if we need this minimal government and we want it, how do we get it?  Democracy is the notion that the majority rules by voting and that the majority gets the action that they voted for.  There are several problems with this.  1) I don’t want this decision to affect myself or others negatively but when the majority rules the effect is felt on those that want the action and those that don’t.  2) I am forcing the other side to my will if my side wins.  If I am a decent human being, forcing another to do something they don’t want to do or affects them negatively, should be distasteful to me. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be part of something that is about the tyranny of the majority. What we have in voting and democracy most of the time is mob rule, and the person who can rally the biggest mob around them wins.

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Reason (Huginn):

OK. Time to look at voting rationally.  Two things: 1) The power of the individual vote is insignificant and 2) There are only a few times where your vote can actually matter.

The first is the simply point that the value of a single vote in any election is 1 over N.  N being the number of votes actually cast in that particular election. This means the larger and election, the more statistically insignificant your vote is.  You actually probably have more of a chance of affecting the outcome of smaller local elections than anything else.  The most power if have had personally in this regard is when I sat on two school boards and had a one seventh of a chance of actually casting a deciding vote.

The other part is knowing that the only time you actually to cast a significant vote is when you either break or cause a tie.  Otherwise you are just part of the mob.  In truth what you are doing is playing the political lotto hoping that you are part of the mob that wins. Also, if you are part of the mob that loses then your vote was wasted and if the election is won, every winning vote beyond what was need to win is a wasted vote. There are a lot of insignificant and wasted votes every election and the most of them are actually cast for the two major parties.

This is why people don’t get informed because I think they instinctively know this.  There is little point in spending a lot of time on something that you know won’t have much effect; if any, on the outcome.  So people vote their feelings or party line because it doesn’t require much thought.

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Wisdom (Muninn):

So what, then?  Where does wisdom fit in?  I can only say that it might have little to do with voting or government in general.  If we were wise we would give government little power and maintain that individuals have strong rights the government can’t take away by voting.  Oh, yeah that’s what the founders gave us but we keep going down the path to less individual rights and more government.  A course that is not wise, but the desire for security over freedom keeps leading us to despise “The Blessings of Liberty”. . Perhaps people should reconsider that maybe our founders here in the United States were in a sense political geniuses and we should respect their intelligence of individual rights over government power.

Conclusion:

Yeah, I vote.  But don’t tell me my vote matters or its my civic duty.  For me it is more like other people playing the lotto.  It’s that slim chance I might make a difference, that I might be in the winning mob.  I do it for the thrill of marking my choices and hoping like the power ball player gets his number and dreams. I do it for the thrill of knowing that there is a statistically better chance that I will be involved in a fatal car crash on my way to the polls, than my vote will make a difference – it’s kind of like sky diving for a political scientist.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 47 – Enjoying Humanity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Voices:

I have been listening to this one a lot this week.  It kind of goes along with the theme this week, so I will keep the commentary about it until the Sermon.

Poem:

“My Soul Has Eyes”

The Mirror to the Soul

So they are called.

I can’t see my own

unless I look in the mirror.

I wonder what part of my soul people see?

The part of my soul that is tired and depressed

The part of my soul that has regrets

The part of my soul that bleeds with wounds new and old

The part of my soul that is black and dark

or the part that shines in hope and love.

I wish I knew what people see in my eyes

What part of my soul is laid bare.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 25, 2018

I must confess my writing of poetry is bitter sweet.  It enjoy it on the one hand because it allows me to express feelings in words that normal writing doesn’t do.  I need that from time to time.  On the other hand the memories of the person associated with me learning to write poems better and understand them better comes up every time I do it, and that just makes me sad.  I guess it’s something I just live with, because I can’t seem to stop writing them from time to time.  Sometimes its the only thing that works.

Meditation: 

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I post a lot of memes and sayings on Facebook.  Just so everyone knows, the Meditation for the week usually comes from one of them I posted that past week.  It’s the one that meant the most to me.

Song of Preparation:Van Halen – Love Walks In:

The story associated with this song for me is that I was standing in a convenience store a little after my wife and I started reconciling.  This song came on and the guy behind the counter was singing it.  I joined in; which is not something I normally do.  The guy behind the counter stopped to listen to me and asked if the song meant something to me.  I told him until that moment, no.  But now it did.  Not only did it reflect at the time the new feelings of love I had for my wife but there was a very human moment there with that guy.  Humanity didn’t seem all that bad to me at that time.

Text: Havamal 47

Young was I once, I walked alone,
and bewildered seemed in the way;
then I found me another and rich I thought me,
for man is the joy of man.

Sermon:

It is really hard to be objective about the nature of humanity.  Most of us think humans as a rule are not the greatest thing to ever happen to us.  Some people I imagine love people, but there are a good chunk of us that have problems with humanity.  Some of us, like in the video of Disturbed’s song ‘Voices’, have our fantasies about getting back at the bullies, getting revenge on the girl who dumped us or tying up a difficult boss.  It truly is freaky shit that we think of sometimes isn’t it when it comes to how we would like to respond toward some people’s actions toward us.  The voices are pretty convincing that even we are not all that great.

If we were honest though, most of the people in our lives are a lot like us.  Just trying to make their way in the world and do the best they can.  Very few people in our lives actually deliberately try to make our lives miserable.  There are a few, I will acknowledge that, but for most part, people seem decent enough.

I think this is more evident if you have ever been lost alone away from people for a while or wonder if you can find your way back to them.  I have had this experience at least twice.  It is an intense relief when you actually find another person.  I get what Odin is saying in Havamal 47.  Like it or not we need our fellow humans and very few of us are misanthropes.

In fact, I would argue that many times at our lowest point it has been someone else who helped us out of it.  Some person who saw us in our suffering and actually stopped to help, or as we wandered we ran into someone who inspired us. I would say our positive encounters with humans actually probably outweigh our negative ones.

At the very least we become like the guy in the Disturbed video of ‘Voices’.  We drop our anger and desire for vengeance and simply walk off to the mosh pit and try to find a more human ‘loving’ way to get rid of our anger. Perhaps that is the greatest testimony to humanities goodness after all – that we choose to find another way that is constructive.  Very few of us actually act on the voices.

Closing Song:  Slash Street Boys – “I’ll Kill You That Way”:

A little Halloween Humor to send you off today.  Enjoy the Week and Happy Halloween!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 3 – Awakening (Wayfarer)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

The man in the bed stirred.  It was the first time he had moved on his own power since the whole thing began.  His eyes fluttered open but he immediately shut them again.  Things were too bright.  Gods his head hurt.  No telling where he was now.  He was either in his intended destination, the hospital or the morgue. If the last was true, he was waking up to what lies beyond the veil of death and that brightness was the afterlife.

Somehow though he suspected that it was not the afterlife or the hospital.  You don’t hear the sounds of lovers making love in a hospital that often and he could smell smoke of a fire. No, unless something truly unplanned had happened, he had arrived in his intended destination.  He just couldn’t move or speak or see it in truth yet.  He opened his eyes once again and the blur came into focus.

He was in a room with a bed and a wash basin on a small wooden stand.  There were  towels draped over the stand as well and the fabric was exquisite.  Not made by a machine but much better in many respects.  He tried to move his arm and succeeded only to lift it a little. Then he looked a little to the edge of the bed only to see the face of a huge white wolf staring back at him. Their eyes met and strangely he didn’t feel afraid of the wolf.  The wolf looked at him for a few moments and then walked out of the room past the curtain that separated it from the main room.

A few moments later a large man entered the room. He was muscular but looked older with hair that was white.  He only had one eye and the other was covered with a patch. He was wearing a simple grey tunic and on his shoulder was perched a large raven.

“Well, you live after all.  I will wake up my wife and she will tend you,” the man said in a commanding deep voice.

Then he disappeared.  The man stirred a little more and after a couple of minutes a woman in a white dress came in. She was blond, blue-eyed and stunningly beautiful.  She smiled at him but he could see a knowing sadness behind her eyes. He wondered about that, but she came along and sat beside him and touched his forehead and chest.

He couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.  Her proportions were perfect and her skin flawless.  He eyes were stunning like they looked right into your heart and her golden hair radiant beyond belief.  No super model, with the most skillful of Photoshop work done, could look like she did.  It was then he realized his nakedness under the blankets and began to feel a little self-conscious.  She smiled again.

“Be at peace, you are safe here,” her voice was like soft music.

She leaned a little closer like she didn’t want to be overheard.

“Besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

He blushed slightly and found his hand absent mindedly going to the Thor amulet around his neck.  It was still there.  He wondered at it now as the story that had been told him had been true.  It was magical.  It had drawn him to this place, wherever that was.  He began to relax a little more.  It was hard not to do so in this woman’s presence.

“You know you have been under my care for a day and I still don’t know who you are?  Can you speak?”

The Man looked at her and smiled.

“My name is Beorn Erickson. I guess you could say I am a scholar of sorts”

“Well Beorn, I am Frigg, goddess of motherhood and home. Welcome to our home.”

Beorn didn’t show any reaction to the statement that she was a goddess.  He actually  relaxed even more. The amulet had worked and now he could move on to other things.  He decided to choose his words carefully.

“So the mythology isn’t mythological after all.  So the man I saw; he is Odin, the All-Father?  Your husband?”

Frigg raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, he is Odin.  All Father and King of the gods of Asgard. It is not often that mortals hear of the gods and react as you do.  How is this possible?”

“You could say I have been looking for you.  Mostly though I wanted to prove this amulet worked.  The magic in it is unique and very powerful.  Besides if legend is correct, the gods and goddesses of Asgard prefer actions of worship, not the groveling prayers of other religions.”

“A wizard, not just a scholar then? My husband might be very interested in that.  He is a wizard himself and a warrior.”

“Yes, some of the legends and stories remain.  Many are lost though.  I guess you could say this was a research trip in that regard.”

“A seeker after knowledge.  Yes, My husband will respect that.  The issue he will have is whether or not you are willing to pay the price for knowledge that is sometimes needed.”

“Yes, those stories remain.  His hanging from the world tree and his sacrifice of his eye.  They also speak of your powers to see men’s fates.”

Frigg’s smile faded; but it was not anger that replaced it, but a sadness.

“Yes, I can, but it is not very helpful.  There is little that can be done to change the fates of men.”

Beorn decided not to press this.  He knew she was speaking of her son Balder and he didn’t want to bring up painful memories.

“Well, I suppose that would be a heavy burden to bear. I didn’t mean to cause you sadness.”

“No, it alright.  It was a long time ago that I lost Balder…that Asgard lost Balder.  You seem strangely emphatic for a wizard and scholar.”

“I wasn’t always a wizard and a scholar.  I once was a priest. A Christian priest.”

“That explains your gentleness.  You gave that up?  I wonder what reason you could have for that?”

“I am not very good with celibacy for one.”

Frigg laughed and Beorn with her.

“I can also say that celibacy would not allow you to share one of your better assets with the world either.  You shouldn’t deprive women like that.”

They laughed again.  Beorn felt so at ease in her presence.

“I imagine though that there are other deeper reasons.”

“It was the beliefs.  The god of the cross doesn’t make sense to me anymore.  So I went looking for others.”

“Well, it seems you found a couple.”

“Yes, I have. The amulet worked and drew me to you.”

Frigg paused.  The two looked at each other for a moment.

“Well Beorn, I can’t see that you are ill or in any way sick.  Just drained of energy.  I will make some food to help with that, and bring you something to drink.  My husband will want you fully rested and restored before he speaks with you.”

She got up and headed toward the curtain.  As she started to pull it back, Beorn spoke once again.

“Frigg, thank you for your hospitality. There was one other reason I left the priesthood.  Love.”

Frigg smiled.

“I would say that was related to the first reason you gave, but I understand. I suspect you broke her heart or perhaps…”

“She broke mine.”

“Ah, well perhaps you will find love again.”

“I hope so, it’s a good thing to be in love but also dangerous.”

“Yes, it is.”

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Big Picture and Depression Triggers

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

The Planning part is done.  Virtues, Routines, Goals, Plans, etc. are all finished as far as initial thoughts.  Now is the time for to get the big picture and make a final plan which is how I am going to maintain this and monitor it.  Of course this is what this blog and blogging in general is all about for me.  I have three journal posts each week and my notebook, which is how monitoring this is going to take place.  There are also adjustments that need to take place as things are crossed off my lists as accomplished and life changes from time to time. Mostly though I will be using the three A Skald’s Life posts each week to keep track of things and stay motivated. Today is the big picture of how that will work and at the end something personal because it doesn’t really fit anything else.

A Skald’s Life – Foundational – In each weeks Foundational Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Honor, Courage and Truth.  I think it is also a good place to discuss the Morning Routine, Bucket List and my Weightlifting Plan. Like all my journal posts is will start with a basic journal entry of what is going on.

A Skald’s Life – Business – In each weeks Business Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  I think it is a good place to discuss the Daily Routine, Goals and Budget Plan.  It also with start with a basic journal entry.

A Skald’s Life – Self – In each weeks Self Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.  I think it is a good place to Discuss the Weekly Routine and my Nutritional Plan.  Having one less thing I will probably be looking back at the week as a whole in the basic journal entry which usually takes longer.

The last tool is my notebook which basically has check lists for the Routines and copies of the Virtues, Principles, Goals, Bucket Lists and Plans.  I keep these in front of me every day in the Morning Routine.  These Journal Entries are about marking progress.

Depression Triggers:

I know is might be strange to switch to this topic but The Rabyd Skald Posts are about what doesn’t fit into the other posts that are more standardized.  I would also say the reason I am doing all the Virtues, Goals, etc. is that it is my way of constantly combating my depression and keeping the things that trigger it at bay.  So perhaps is does fit as the overall goal of keeping myself walking through The Grey and still accomplishing what I need to accomplish – It is truly about being The Grey Wayfarer in that sense.

My depression is not as severe as many others.  I can function in the middle of it. It just makes me get moody and difficult to deal with at times.  It basically makes me feel either slightly sad or nothing.  That is I have this feeling that everything is either a waste of time and it makes me sad or I feel nothing at all.  It’s the nothing that bothers me more than the sadness.

I have spent the last couple months really trying to identify things that trigger it.  I am pretty sure I have discovered some of them.  I am not sure how to combat some of these as there is no way to not discuss some of them or avoid some of them.  In fact I am not sure if the way to deal with these triggers is to avoid them at all or actually discuss them.  It’s at times like these I miss The Rabyd Microphone, because I wouldn’t be hesitating about talking about things.  These days I have others to think about, so I play things close to the vest a little more and discuss them with my wife and our marriage counselor more.

My Depression Triggers:

  1. Anger – After I calm down it turns to The Grey.  The real problem is after this summer I have much more to get angry about, so it comes up more often.
  2. Talking about certain people – I lost a lot of friends but to be honest when you make a serious mistake and friends abandon you, then you at least find out who your real friends were.  The one’s that just left or took off, yeah, fuck ’em. Less baggage now. That’s not the issue.  It’s the people who didn’t just abandon you, they stabbed you as they left.  They took advantage of your vulnerability or openness to them and they left you when you needed them most or even worse betrayed you.  Yeah, those people make me angry or sad and then The Grey follows.
  3. When I don’t feel a love connection.  I know it sounds stupid or maybe sappy but love connections fight my depression. They have to be maintained so my wife and I cuddle and talk a lot whenever possible. I make a point of it; to keep it going so when The Grey comes it helps me get over it quicker.  It could be said though that if I haven’t maintained my love connections, The Grey comes more often when I am alone.  I am alone a lot as an introvert,  People drain my energy over time and I need a recharge by getting alone. But there is a great deal of difference in being alone and feeling lonely.

The past is a relentless bastard even though it cannot be changed.  It still takes a toll on you if you let it.  I have found the only real way to combat it is look to the future to be better. To keep walking.  Hopefully from time to time you stand in the sunlight.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Budget Plan

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Budgeting is not something new to me.  I have handled things before like this, mostly though I find budgeting tedious and boring, so I find ways to do it that are quicker.  Thankfully computer software these days makes things go much better.  Mostly though the plan for budget is pretty simply from my perspective.

When I was a Christian, I followed Dave Ramsey a lot.  The fact is his basic plan makes a lot of sense simply because it follows tried and true things. I don’t see that I have to change my respect for its wisdom.  We are in debt again and we do need to make more money to combat that but we also need a plan to get back to financial health again. Our plan follows the Dave Ramsey pattern.

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

There is a missing step as I have children but they are all grown up and I pretty much told them what my family told me – ‘you want college education, pay for it yourself.’  Step 5 for us wold be more of buy a small home and pay it off quickly because right now we rent an apartment and probably will continue to rent until we get to a point of being debt free.

After twenty years of being in the ministry I have little to show for it.  I don’t own a home.  I have a lot of debt and some things have had to be cut.  Probably the most devastating right now is health insurance.  We can’t afford it with the payments we have to make on other things and that means both my diabetes and my wife issues will have to be handled out of pocket and nope – we don’t have the money for that either.  Hopefully nothing major happens.

If we have any further need its to start making more money and that is why I accelerated school to be pretty much done except the internship, so I can start marketing my degree for a better job. I would stay where I am but they would need to make me more than a grunt worker at this point and they would also have to make me full-time instead of 32 hours a week. At this point in my life it is about retirement and that means I am about 20 years behind people my same age because of being a pastor all that time in my first career. Yep, it’s a tall order but I don’t just want to survive but thrive.

As an aside if you are thinking of ministry as a career, I recommend going to a secular school for your bachelor’s and get it in something you can make money doing.  Do that for twenty years and get your financial life in order and then go get you Masters in Divinity and be a pastor. Trust me on this, you will thank me for it.

Right now we could be classified as working poor.  Not poor enough to qualify for government handouts, but not rich enough to get ahead.  That needs to change soon and for me that means a better job with more money so we can breathe again.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Achieving greater purposes is a line in the virtue I have been thinking about a lot lately.  When I look at things in my financial future I think others are going to play a role.  What I want is my own business to take into retirement.  I want it to be my retirement.  Not having something to do, I think is the death of a lot of people.  The one’s who live the longest understand discipline and sticking with something.

At this point I have all the plans in place, bucket list, goals and routines.  Now its time to take all these pieces and step back and reform the bigger picture.  I think though I will do a separate post on this under The Rabyd Skald platform probably this afternoon.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Not much to say here other than I keep going and I keep getting up. Right now school needs to have more attention and so I am making my plans to put more effort in and finish.  I may limp over the line but I will finish.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I am a deist, humanist and somewhat of a pagan and so I am loyal to those philosophies. I am truly working on being loyal to myself, my wife and my family.  The Self and marriage is a tougher one to keep in balance because to have a marriage often involves sacrificing what you want at times.  I just don’t want to give up too much loyalty to myself.  I still want what I want and for my sake, I can’t give it all up.  At the same time I want this marriage to work and be better than ever.  I am loyal to my friends, they need only ask and I will do what I can.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 95 – The Unattainable Desires of Life

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Open Song: Halestorm – Amen

It is no secret that I gravitate toward songs and bands who speak about faith and religion and so this song by Halestorm is sort of one of my anthems from time to time.  The words speak to me and definitely get my ‘Amen’.

Poem:

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I will leave the poetry to The Ruined Man this week. Definitely my thoughts about myself this week. There are simply some things that have to be dealt with alone.

Meditation:

I am not a big one for fate.  I think we make our own luck and our own success.  This proverb definitely resonates with me.

Song of Preparation: Smash Mouth – Walkin’ On The Sun:

Some things are indeed impossible and other things make you shake your head.  Smash Mouth seems to get that in this song.

Text: Havamal 95

Only the mind knows
what lives near the heart;
a man is alone with his own spirit.
There is no sickness worse
for any wise man
than to have nothing to love.

Sermon:

There are a lot of different ways to translate this Stanza but for me it reflects that only each person knows what he truly desires but there is no sickness worse than desiring and loving that which you cannot have.

I suppose it might be speaking to that old adage about youth being wasted on the young.  That once you figure out what you should do with life, you don’t have the energy or the time to obtain it. Maybe.

For me this speaks more to the sadness that can sometimes develop when you finally realize what you want, but there is no way to get it.  I have experienced this many times and I have come to realize that in those moments, it is often time to change our desires and focus elsewhere.  If there is any wisdom in discovering a desire is unattainable; it is the wisdom that says move on and continue to live life.  Something else will come along that is attainable.

If you can’t do that well there is a sickness of soul that will come over you known to me as The Grey and to others as depression.  It’s amazing how as we get older depression gets more common and I can’t help but wonder if it is this finally figuring out what life is about and yet not being able to attain it.  I hope that whatever you and I desire it is attainable. Such a sickness is more than I have been able to bear at times and I wish it on no one.

I could go with the other interpretation of this passage which says there is nothing worse than to grow old and have nothing to love. I would agree and I feel this is why most people die in a lack of hope.  They stop having something to love and without that, there is little motivation to keep on living.  It’s why I want to keep a bucket list in front of me forever.

I don’t know.  For me personally, it is the truth that no one knows what is on the heart of a man or woman other than that person themselves that is the glaring truth. A person could tell you the whole truth about what they want but the truth is that what they want is actually deeper still.  It’s good to remember that the closest council any man keeps is with himself. No person reveals all of what they are and that is a good thing to remember.

Closing Song: Monty Python – The Meaning of Life:

May you unravel the meaning of life and live it fully.  May all your desires be attainable.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin.  It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace.  Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured.  The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face.  She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face.  He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival.  She knew he would be bringing someone with him.  Someone who was going to  change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate.  She didn’t use often anymore.  Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her.  The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath.  Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words.  Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains.  A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess.  Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach.  She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods.  Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her.  One landed on her forearm.  Huginn.  He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded.  Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn.  In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house.  Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods.  Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying.  Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back.  Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die.  Rest your mind, hansom husband.  Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway.  The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed.  Frigg smiled at the man.  Older but still fit and….well equipped.  Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts.  Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded.  His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband.  I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank.  Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though.  There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever.  But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him.  The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer.  That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted.  Damn.  So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife.  I believe at long last our end has come.  As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back.  Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen.  It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well  No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path.  He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck.  She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her.  He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love.  Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom.  There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can.  After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep.  She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes.  She didn’t know who to weep for more.  The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her.  His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure.  Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow.  But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Bucket List

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

The Routines are finished and I have my principles and goals written down.  This leaves my Bucket List, Weightlifting Plan, Diet and Budgeting plan.  The three plans I will deal with next week, but today is the Bucket List.

For me a bucket list is a list of important side quests. It’s what I am doing to enjoy life.  I have done one before and there were some raised eyebrows about some of them.  The issue for me is not to be the straight arrow I was before as pastor.  I don’t wear a white hat nor do I wear a black one. I just want to live my life and wear a grey hat while doing it.  The Bucket List is the best reflection of this.  It’s not about goals so much as enjoying life as much as possible.

Bucket List

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.  Perhaps as part of one of those River Cruises that go up and down the Danube River. I loved that city but I just didn’t have the time to explore it fully.
  2. Get My Tattoos.  I actually have four planned for myself at this point and a joint tattoo which my wife agreed to get with me. 1) Valknut Based Tattoo on my right hand or forearm.  2) Double Ravens on my right shoulder 3) Double wolves on my left shoulder.  4) Broken Celtic Cross in the center of my back. 5) Joint tattoo with my wife.  She has agreed to something small but in a noticeable place.
  3. Actually get drunk – I am a big dude and do drink but I have never gotten drunk as far as I can tell.  I just don’t know what my limit actually is because I have never arrived there.
  4. Smoke a Joint – this is conditional on my state legalizing MJ in November but I do want to try it once.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  This needs to be my first true hiking experience.
  6. Write My Novel – Needs to be done.  Not just the National Novel Writing Novel that I did finish but a true novel 90-120 thousand words and submitted for publication.
  7. Learn Latin – I actually have Wheellock on my shelf.  The book the workbook and the reader.  I just need to discipline myself to do it.
  8. Learn Hungarian – I would like to go to Budapest and speak the language if possible. Yeah that’s two languages.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs. This is really three in one but hey it works. By the way this is for reps in my current routine.  So last set at least four reps for each on a 4 x 8 which is the minimum reps on the last set without me dropping back.
  10. Start my own business – This is the eventual goal  under my business virtues.  I would like a bar with an attached BBQ place. Another option is a bar, coffee shop, bookstore combo.

The rules of course are once one thing is completely done, to cross it off and add something new if I fall below eight things. I plan on dying with a bucket list in hand still with things on it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines are all in place and now the great challenge is to get things done every day.  Planning phase over basically, now it’s time to make it happen.  The real discipline issue now is school work.  It usually isn’t a problem when I find the personal motivation but this is my last semester and I have a large case of last semester drop off. It is something I fight everyday.

One other thing that dogs me is thinking on the past.  It can really steal my time and I need to be more proactive on stopping that from happening.  It’s hard because I have guilt plus a lot of wounds inflicted to deal with.  Not everything has scared over and some sometimes I still bleed a little.  But I keep going, I just need to find a way past it all and get on with things. Certain thoughts and dreams make that hard is all.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

A thought struck me when I was meditating on this virtue the other day.  It’s not just that you keep getting up, but it’s also how you get up that matters.  Sometimes when you get back up it’s not time to take another hit but heal.  Strategic withdrawal is sometimes necessary.  You can always exercise courage another day.  In large part that is what me and my wife have been doing.  With drawing after our marriage got knocked down and trying to heal it before we go on. It’s working so far.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

My loyalty to my wife is high.  I mean what other level should I have given that after cheating on her and telling her that I didn’t love her anymore but the highest; when despite all that she continued to love me and forgave me?  She demonstrated fidelity to me even though I wasn’t being loyal to her.  I don’t get it but she is something special and she is loved and respected by me.

My family, my few friends know I will be there for them. I have been at my current job long enough to develop loyalty to my team that works together.  It’s nice to have coworkers again.  I don’t really have a faith to be loyal to yet. I also am more dedicated to the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness than I am the current crop of leaders that have played games with those rights all my life. Ultimately, I am loyal to my code and my philosophy.  That’s enough for me right now.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!