Self Virtues

“Loyal Like Sigyn” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day.  Also a Happy Birthday to my wife. 

Journal Entry:

Sigyn is the goddess of loyalty and there is only one tale that survives that shows what this means.  She is the wife of Loki and Loki’s punishment for killing the beloved god Baldur is to have a snake drop deadly venom on his forehead.  Sigyn demonstrates her loyalty to Loki by using a cup to catch those drops so they do not hit his forehead. Periodically it was said that she had to leave to dump the cup and this is when Loki would feel the venom and writhe in agony causing earthquakes.

I am not sure if Sigyn is a good or bad example of loyalty.  It is also questionable how she is loyal to – Loki or humanity.  Is she trying to prevent the suffering of Loki or humanity at the hands of the earthquakes Loki causes as he responds to the agony of the venom?  She doesn’t display loyalty to the rest of the gods as she is trying very much to interfere with the decree of Odin.  If anything this story provides a great example of how fidelity or loyalty can get pretty complicated.

What I feel is needed with fidelity/loyalty is simple – priorities of loyalty. Rules also would help.  I will probably discuss this in greater detail in my post in a few weeks in Of Wolves and Ravens when I touch on Asatru and Fidelity. My initial thoughts are to prioritize my loyalty among the list of divine, family, friends, and self. and then create those rules that create a balanced understanding.  The thing is after so many years of being loyal to others at the expense of being loyal to myself, I feel loyalty to myself needs to be first. Then Loyalty to the rest is a sort of circle of fidelity around me. There is much thought an meditation to do here yet, so I will leave it at that.

For now, the story of Sigyn inspires thought on the subject of fidelity if nothing else.  For that this one fragment of her story that survives is beneficial in that regard.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutritionally, I need to tighten things down a little and get the carbs as much as possible out fo my life again.  If there is anything I struggle with specifically it is things like bread and other common American diet things like that that are still in very limited ways part fo my diet. I am at the point where more micromanagement of my diet might be necessary to lose any more fat.  Since March of 2018, I have dropped from 348 lbs. to 280 lbs. through a combination of moving toward a more Paleo Diet, weightlifting and walking. At this point, it is simply a matter of getting more specific in the dietary aspects.  I am probably 80 % Paleo and I need to get to over 90 to 95 % with maybe a cheat meal once per week so eat things I enjoy.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I think I have become too reliant on 13-week sections of weightlifting as far as the planning.  By the 8th or 9th week it is hard to stay focused on the same routine.  I am thinking, starting next week that my programs will be two months long instead of three with automatic changes every two months instead.  This might keep things fresh. I am also thinking I ma ready to start adding in the barbell exercises again. Walking is becoming difficult as my boots are getting worn and I need to change them out.  I really need that new job soon as there is a lot of little things that are starting to pile up that need monetary attention.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I have already talked about my loyalty issues above, but the main thing is loyalty to myself.  That cannot be overemphasized. If my other relationships undercut my loyalty to me, then it is going to be hard for me to maintain them.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am trying to make wise decisions here.  What is the most loving thing to do?  What is the justest thing to do? What is the wisest thing to do? All of this focuses on myself though, because if I lose me, then all is lost.  I already know what happens when I forget myself and sacrifice everything for others.  I end up destroyed and doing very foolish things.  The wisest course will involve the most love, justice, and wisdom that is self-directed first and then to others second.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

My son and I have started a kind of two-person book club and we will be starting to read a book together.  It is a natural fit in my reading slot here.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Notes on Exercise and Nutrition” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

One thing that needs to be done here is to make some notes on possible changes to nutrition and exercise.

As I head into the next quarter weightlifting changes from a more bodybuilding style to the more fat burning style of endurance lifting.  That is high reps, low weight, and only a couple sets.  The last set of the two done to failure. This is designed to make the muscle burn a little hotter and with the heat and dietary changes, I am hoping to lean out a little in this July – September quarter.

Nutritionally, it is probably time to carb cut a little more and be more conscious of the few things I need to do.  One is to switch to more water to drink than other things. Paleo doesn’t allow for much more than water and fruit juice but fruit juice is diabetically a bad idea.  It’s probably time for a cleaning time of water only and I need to get on that.

It is good to stretch every morning.  It is one of those real alone moments where my head clears.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To Be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

The goal is to be fully Paleo by next year’s March.  Every quarter I need to take steps toward that.  This quarter I need to focus on learning more things I can do as far as recipes to cook and I need to drop drinks that are not Paleo.

My idea for my rebellious act will be to take a mini three-day vacation with April 1st in the middle of it.  Once again the idea is to do something that society at large might frown on but isn’t illegal.  There is the goal of not getting in trouble with the law as well.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The weightlifting and stretching are going well, the hiking needs to be a little more difficult.  Backpack with some weight should do it when I am doing my Rest Day walks.

My tattoo has only one obstacle and that is funding.  I save money every paycheck.  Thing is I don’t know how much it will cost but I  know I would rather spend money and get something good than be cheap.  So I might be saving for a bit.  I do have a concept of what I want and I am hoping the tattoo artist will have some ideas as well.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The only thing left is the genetics and ancestry thing and that will definitely take flight with a better job. Once I know where I am from, exploring family history will be a lot easier. It has also become a spiritual pilgrimage type thing for me.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am always changing things to reflect my changing understanding of the world and how I do things. There are two ways to approach change.  Resist it or use it as a tool to better yourself. I choose the later.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

This is pretty good.  I enjoy it much more and it doesn’t take long to do.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Self Vision – Like Thor” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

If there is a struggle with Self in my life it is the ability to consider myself first.  In truth the only thing you have all the time to achieve anything is you. Relationships, money, possessions all come and go.  The one thing you have will you all the time is yourself. For the characters, of Norse Mythology Thor emulates this the best.  Yes, he has his hammer and his great strength, and he is a god. But none of that matters without the supreme belief in himself that he takes into every single situation.  It is a self-confidence born of internal fire that burns that gives Thor the immortal quality that has made him the favorite god of the common warrior.

I resonate more with Odin, but Thor’s story teaches us the values of staying focused (discipline), the refusal to accept defeat (perseverance) and being loyal to those who have shown loyalty to him (fidelity).

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To Be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Thor in battle is a focused man driven by one desire – honorable victory.  Now he is a god that had a lot of natural ability as a warrior but even he indicates the need for skill in battle, to the Vikings of that day, where they knew to be like Thor in battle took disciplined practice. For me, it is the daily discipline and the continued desire to be successful that I want to emulate here.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Thor fights a lot of battles and he doesn’t always win or be perceived to have won at first. The only battle in the mythology where he doesn’t get up and try again is the last one where he defeats the Midgard Serpent but loses his own life as well. That is the goal of every warrior to win the last battle no matter what it is.  Thor’s story teaches that.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Thor travels a lot with Loki and despite the fact that Loki is a trickster god who often gets Thor into trouble, he stays loyal to him. He knows that even Loki gets him out of jams sometimes. For me, this is a valuable lesson in not judging a persons’ other character as much as I judge their loyalty to me and then give that same loyalty back.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Thor is not equated as the wisest character in some regards. His temper often gets him into trouble.  Yet, within his story arc is this person who stays loyal and fights with both skill and never-ending determination. Wise characteristics I want to have as part of my life.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

I can see these rest days as being far more valuable now to me. They defiantly help me more than the other way I used to do things.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Changes for July-Sept 2019 (Part 3)” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Change does not dwell in the realm of comfort zones and nothing more reflects that than the Self Virtues. In Discipline, I push myself past comfort and into something stronger. In Perseverance, I keep getting up after failure and defeat which always difficult but in the end gives the needed change in life to make it better. Fidelity is not always easy, especially when things are hard but it is the relationships that are strong because of the challenges to them that last.

The big thing in this section is the Rest Day Routine.  It has to be restful so it must have things in it that I enjoy doing and are recharging to me. It also can’t be full from stem to stern with shit so I am busy all day long like the Work Day Routine. I like downtime and time to do other things I find enjoyable and entertaining.  It doesn’t mean these activities will not involve the Disciplines but they will be things I enjoy doing.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To Be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

The goal has been changed to reflect reality and I need to just set monthly subgoals so each month I am getting closer to it. It is important that my diet is tight as I head into winter, where up in the north, we all become more sedentary.  Even if I do move south, I still want it tight. I really need this to be better because I don’t see any other way to lose the last few pounds of fat I want to lose and at the same time maintain my muscles.

The bucket list item is a little bit outside the coming year by one day but the planning and execution of a lot of things are within that year.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Weightlifting is a Work Day Routine item.  Stretching is Morning Routine. Walking is thus a Rest Day Routine item. It is also now the only exception to the three days a week thing. I might simply have only two days off.  Of course, if I am around when the snow flies, I might find myself doing the walk in the gym. This illustrates that items like these are things that are work and rest to me. All forms of exercise are kind of like that for me.

The next item on my bucket list is my first tattoo.  I don’t know if this would constitute an act of rebellion or not, I am however saving money every payday toward it. I am hoping a new and more lucrative job might enable this faster.

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I look at achieved goals now and I see that every year I will have nine of them and the main goal is to achieve as many of them as possible.  To put that strikethrough through an achieved goal is a great feeling.

The research into my family history is one of those Rest day items I think.  I now realize how important this is to have roots that you know as much about as possible and understand them. It gives life foundation and depth when you consider yourself as the’latest chapter of a long story.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Dividing things into Work and Rest Days is probably the wisest decision I have made in a long time.  I am one of those guys who put the ‘I’ in Introverted of the INFJ personality. It not that I can’t go out and be with people, it is just they drain me and I need a recharge time and Rest Days are going to be just that recharge time I need.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Walking – 1 hour.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Reading – half an hour for enjoyment.

This leaves a lot of room to do what I want for the rest of the day. The walking part also allows for full-blown two or three-day hikes when I can plan them. There is nothing on this list that I don’t enjoy doing.  The job search thing is now part of the Work Day Routine.  Next week I will be testing and adjusting these as this quarter of the year does not start until the first full week of July. That provides next week with a time of adjustment.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 3

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Strong” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am drawing this week to a close with Being stronger.  I am defining strong in its broadest possible sense in that I am not just talking physical strength, but mental, emotional and societal. One I have learned is stronger is stronger regardless of where it is or what kind it is. For me, this last year since leaving the ministry has been about finding new strength for life and I have found that in Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity there are great strengths to be found and developed.

The real issue is to always be strong and always be able to handle what life throws at you.  Sometimes you do shit to yourself and then you have to deal with that with the other strengths you have. I have learned a lot through failure.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I could be even more fully Paleo Diet.  I have pretty much been doing pretty well here as my cheat meals and having a carb limit helps a lot but in truth, I could go full paleo this summer as well. I am going to read my book with the recipes again and see what I can come up with.  My wife gets tired of the same old things but there are some different things I could do that might be good for both of us. I really need to take a cooking class someday.

My rebellious act is in the planning stages and I have some time so…

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My program could use a little more walking but the lifting and stretching are spot-on.  No worries here.

My tattoos are coming.  Right now I have been saving for my mini vacation with the wife but if I come back when any left over it will be the seed money for my next thing which is my tattoo(s).  Once I have enough for the first one I will be going for it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The mini-vacation coming up Saturday through Tuesday will mean this goal will be crossed off by next week. After my tattoos, my genetic test is on the list.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I have gained l lot of wisdom this last year.  I can thank a lot of things for that.  For myself my simple refusal to quit or go down helps.  But also there have been some true relationships as well.  The simple act of doing things to keep improving myself is also a great way to just keep going.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

The more I think about it the more I can work things on this list to the daily list the better. I just need to figure it out. I really also need one day or two to just say – this is my day I do what I want. I am thinking that days I work are actually more productive with the other things it is just a matter of how much time things take.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on Health” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have been thinking a lot about health these days as I have hit some milestones regarding health.  1) I just passed my third anniversary of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and 2) I stepped on a scale at the gym and for the first time in roughly a decade, I fell below 282 lbs to 281 lbs. The first of these was a wake-up call as far as nutrition was concerned as I had relied heavily on exercise to keep my weight under control and it was not working as well as before.  The second is representative of losing 67 lbs. in the last year and watching my sugar scores drop accordingly.

I have to say the first thing I had to chuck was the traditional government recommended nutritional guidelines because after doing them for roughly a year, I was getting nowhere. So headed a different direction by basically dumping the idea that regular interval carbs were going to help me.  In fact, I felt it was kind of weird that the answer to having an insulin resistant body was to give it more work to do.  I found there were some doctors who agreed with me and the video below is one of them who did a TED talk. I share this for anyone struggling with diabetes, you may have to do what your doctor and nutritionist says is wrong but actually works.

So I went Paleo for the most part.  I have my cheats so I can enjoy some of the things I love to eat from time to time but it is for the most part severely limited to a couple times a week.  The results speak for themselves. That said healthy living is more than about living better and hopefully longer. I find what I have to do to get there each day is a direct reflection of my Self Virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutrition is the main focus of health when it comes to discipline.  The discipline of going to the gym when I can and walking are both almost automatic for me.  The real struggle and the real key to long term and lifetime results are watching with discipline every single day what you are putting into your body.  It really has stretched my notion of discipline being applied to specifics such as exercise and events with a time limit.  I now extend the idea to the overall lifestyle which is much more important.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

In weightlifting, we talk a lot about pushing to failure. It is intentionally taking that last set until you can’t do another rep.  It is intentionally failing so that you can get results through perseverance. It has changed my perspective about failure as a tool for getting better results. To intentional push things until you can’t do anymore – you fail.  Then the next time you do that same thing you often find you can go a little further, lift a little heavier, etc. Probably a mindset that is applicable to more than weightlifting.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

In all of my health pursuits, I find that this is where I feel the most loyal to myself. I am not doing healthy things for anyone else.  I won’t say no one else benefits but the bottom line, the person who most directly benefits from me eating right and exercising is me. There is no feeling like being healthy and that is totally directed at me.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this extends far beyond all the health results that will allow me to live long enough and healthy enough to dance with all my granddaughters at their weddings (the oldest of them is five and the youngest is one).  It goes far more into a spiritual vein as well as all the things I do are leading to me the wise paths of discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

I really want a full week of routine this coming week.  I need to prove this is practical and not a time consuming or realize things need to be changed so they are both practical and not time-consuming.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Wolf Self” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am Wolf.  It’s a way of looking at my identity that is more internal and resonates far more with me than many others.  Wolves have that dual identity of being loyal but frightening to others. Wild and untamed but at the same the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity reign supreme in the heart of any Wolf and Wolfpack.  I suppose what I am going for with this identity is placing some understanding of having the soul of the wolf and not be alarmed by the truth of that for myself.

I suppose when you put it all together, I am a wandering warrior with the heart and soul of a wolf. If I was asked what I value in my soul it is freedom and liberty to roam, explore, search and follow my path.  I no longer believe in the split nature of mankind or its sinfulness.  Rather that we are individual beings that are human and none of that is inherently good or evil.  Rather, I believe that our entire nature simply waits to be harnessed as we follow our needs and wants to be guided by our reason and experience.

Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I remember at work one woman telling me she wished more men were gentlemen and less were dogs. I told her that a gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf. Still canine, not a dog but perhaps in other ways more primal and certainly more disciplined. The gentleman’s objectives are very wolflike, he just is more relentless and patient about it. He wants the best so he engages the virtue of discipline.  He waits patiently engaging in the things that day by day bring him closer to his goals. Such a ‘gentleman’ is simply a relentless wolf.  I seek to be such a wolf.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Wolves, of course, face defeat and failure.  it doesn’t top them, they get up and go back at it.  The only defeat or failure that ends their quest for what they want and needs id death. My nature has never been one to quit. So me and the wolf within keep getting up and keep going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My pack is small but close.  I do wish there were more members at times, but I take the ones I have and our bonds of loyalty grow stronger. Nothing is more important to the pack that fidelity.  Those who break deserve nothing more or less than what I have done to others – to be shown my teeth because I do indeed bite.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is a tough call when it comes to being a wolf.  Wolves that survive listen to the raven’s caw overhead.  The learn from their mistakes and it allows them to become old wolves. They know what the need and want and use reason and wisdom to achieve them.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This is the part that still needs a lot of work.  A new week is coming soon so it is another opportunity to make the effort to get it all done.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations of Iron” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

This last month and a half’s progress has been greatly aided by my return to a gym.  This is not just true of my body although stepping on the scale this week and seeing that I am 281 lbs., which is the lowest I have been in a decade, was a particular thrill.  As most of you know the thing that I enjoy about lifting is the mental state it trains in you. Meditation is central to lifting in that every set, rep, and exercise has a way of challenging your mind as well as your body.

The goal is actually not weight loss either, but fat-loss coupled with muscle gain which is an entirely different thing.  I measure this with a mirror. This is Jack LaLanne’s method of staying motivated, which is to step out of the shower and gaze at your naked body in the mirror until you get angry enough and motivated enough to do something to change it and reforge it.  I do this every day.

See the source image

I still have a long way to go.  But the goal is to trade fat for muscle, not just lose weight, so I meditate on the best way to do that.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

My diet has been more spot on and for the most part, this is due to the fact that every time I eat something off plan it makes me feel like shit. Not because I don’t make allowances for cheat meals or carbs during the day, but it literally makes me feel a little queasy and I think my body is trying to tell me something.  I think I am ready for some more purging of things I shouldn’t have in my diet.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The exercise plan is coming along, I just need to make some changes as far as routines and when I do things to have it completely consistent. There is a spiritual side of all my exercise.  Weightlifting is not alone in that regard as hiking and stretching have their meditative side.

I have been saving for the tattoo.  I am currently engaged in the process of deciding what to do first.  Much has changed since I last spoke on this but there are some tattoos that keep rising to the top. The question is which one would be the most significant as the first one. Right now I leaning toward something like this as it is the most complete expression of my philosophy I have seen in a single tattoo:

The only problem would be where to put it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My wife and I are scheduled and we both have the time off for June 9th through the 11th and we have our reservations at a hotel so the mini-vacation is set.  It is less than a month away so it is something we are both looking forward to.  There is also this family vacation on the horizon, so the next goal of saving for that might simply fall into place.

A genetic test is not beyond the realm of possibility within the next year.  Once I know the results I can start the research into where my ancestors got on the boat and got off.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wise choice in this is to take care of my body and be loyal to myself first. Something I meditate on often to assess whether or not I am staying true to this. If I don’t do either of these things, the rest of it becomes jeopardized.  Painful but important lessons learned.  Wisdom gained and being implemented.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This routine needs more dedication, but it is solid as a plan.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I added the completion of my internship this week and thus the requirements for my degree are finished.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – INFJ and Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

At 1.5% of the population, we INFJs are the rarest personality type of the 16 identified by Myers-Briggs. We know it too. We feel unique because it is clear what motivates us is to not be like everybody else.  It is no accident that my personality gravitates to something like the Nine Noble Virtues and living a life that is higher and deeper based on them.  Words like Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity as far as my self concept mean a lot more to me, than they might to others.  All of these virtues have one powerful thing behind them – they are the wise way to handle myself in the midst of this world.  Stay disciplined, keep getting up and stay faithful to the people who have shown themselves faithful to you is simply the wisest way to live for me.

At this point, I have to mention how much from last year to this my personality changed.  Not that I moved to INFJ from something else, but rather how much stronger it is. I mentioned before my Introverted score increased from 75% to 94%.  From an understanding of myself point of view the other three also all became stronger as well.  I got burned, because I trusted my logic a little too much about people instead of my intuition, so I follow my gut more now with a higher N score 64% to 76%.  I have a higher emphasis on love being mutual happiness, so I am much more focused on feelings being important.  F score goes from 58% to 63%  I used to point out how close my J score was to becoming P, but not anymore as it has gone from 51% to 78%.

This is the most significant change.  I might reflect this in the statement – “I don’t trust words or even actions anymore – I judge patterns and results.” I look at the end result and the patterns of behavior and trust my judgment of them more than just the surface words and actions anymore.  In short, I am much more cautious about relationships than ever and I am far more focused on stuff that really means something and my own happiness.

The suggested strategy for my living with this personality is to walk in confident individualism and realize that my role in any group is to be the diplomat.  I would say that is a fairly accurate way to live – a wise way to live.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Discipline is something I cling to as an INFJ. Having a plan of self-improvement is just a natural thing to me.  If I have to watch anything, it is when I do achieve something the satisfaction from that does not last very long.  I am asking what is next very quickly.  I need to learn to celebrate achievements a little more.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

INFJ people just keep going, Mostly because we don’t really ‘need’ people but we do. I know that seems contradictory, but my personality is such that I can live without people and so when they leave me or abandon me or hurt me, I keep going.  That said, I can’t go forever without someone ‘getting me’,  It makes me slow down and it also leaves me vulnerable. Vulnerability that I can’t see but does build up until I will, without much thought, gravitate toward a person who does ‘get me’ regardless of consequences.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This vulnerability became really apparent to me last year at this very time of year, although I would not at that time have identified it as such.  There was a young woman who ‘got me’ at a time of my life where I felt no one really did, not even those closest to me in both family and friends seemed to get me, just her. My personality was really excited about this person because they got me. I started to love and gravitate toward this person because of it.  I didn’t really care about much else. I didn’t’ really identify at the time the danger because I didn’t feel it was a bad thing because my need for this had gotten so high.

In the area fidelity, I struggle because I can go long periods without people in my life, but at the same time something inside is crying out to be understood and it slowly gets louder until it is screaming. The problem then is fidelity and even other virtues and their importance diminish in order to meet this need and it is such a strong need I don’t care about too much else.

I still have a hole in my life since Miss Salty’s departure but it isn’t about the romantic side of that relationship at all.  I have that with my wife right now.  It’s the simple thing of she ‘got me’ completely. Saw through the bullshit of the hard calm exterior and reached out to me as a friend and that meant a lot to me..  That was worth its weight in gold to someone with my personality. It is so rare though and I wonder if I will ever have that again.  At the same time I wonder if I even want it to happen again, because my fidelity with other people becomes a struggle when such a relationship appears in my life.  It tends to be all-encompassing because it is so rare to me.

To combat this, I make sure my wife and I tell each other we love each other now.  We make a point of it to tell each other in not just words but actions.  The problem remains in that I am not sure right now even with her, if she truly ‘gets me’ all the time. She is however more mindful of it and checks on my much more than she did which I appreciate so much.  Also, I am much more mindful of my need here and try to deal with it better.  What I need probably is more friends that can each fill a part of that hole. But that Introvert score is so large now thanks to this last year, and as such I am always being a skeptic when someone says their my friend or want to be my friend.  I really only have two friends I trust anymore completely and one of them is my wife.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I am all about making wise choices now, but in wisdom I also see there are not ‘black and white’ answers.  Only different levels of grey that I must navigate to find the best course. With Discipline I stay focused on my goals and try to be better every day.  With Perseverance I keep going because there is little wisdom in dwelling on defeats and failures.  Keeping a small circle and staying true to those who have been true to me is my fidelity motto, but there is my ‘weakness’ of the growing need for someone who ‘gets me’ completely and I have to guard myself but at the same time meet that need some way.  I guess the path to wisdom will become apparent as I walk it.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This needs simply to be implemented.  I think it is simply time to run with it and see what happens.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Epic Struggle (Part 3)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Looking at the Metaphor of Norse Mythology and the three children of Loki, we at last turn to Jorgamundr or the Midgard Serpent.  Thor will battle this monster at the end of the world Ragnarok.  It is said that he will kill the serpent, but in the process will die from its venom. An epic battle with the beast defeated, spending one’s very life to do so.

The analogy could be made here in regards to the fight of one’s life.  Everything prepares the self for the end. For me to live right up to the end and to live fully is the goal. The Virtues I call Self Virtues lead me to that end fully prepared for it.  Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity mold me into something that can face my end having spent all to live life fully.

So we see the epic struggle each person faces.  1) The forces that would cause low self-esteem, fear and lies need to be struck down with Honor, Courage and Truth.  2) The forces that would lead to co-dependence, laziness and greed struck down by Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  3) The forces that would cause us to lack self-control, quit or be disloyal defeated in the ultimate end through Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.  The three children of Loki defeated through following the Nine Noble Virtues. This is my three-fold epic struggle.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Diet is still a work in progress but the counts help me keep a lid on bad nutrition.  My main concern is to keep the fat monster away while hopefully my training this spring will begin to see some more results as far as fat loss and muscle development. April 1st, 2020 is a long way away.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

I am glad to be back in the gym.  It was a good week too as I reassessed where I am.  I have lost a little strength, but not much and I am figuring muscle memory will kick in a month or two and I will be back to where I was very quickly. I want first walk of the year to be in sunshine and at least 50 degrees. Nothing fancy, just start at the door to my apartment walk out 2.5 k and then walk back.  Rails to Trails is like a block away so I can utilize that without even driving to it.  It’s important though that the sun is shining for that first walk for symbolic reasons, after that I don’t care.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

Put my first money in the bank for both my tattoo fund and our mini vacation fund. I am really focused on getting a new job right now and hopefully the added resources for the genetics test and the country visits in the next ten years.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I try to address each fork in the road, each crossroad with wisdom.  Does this action lead to love, justice and wisdom?  Wisdom.  Tough call sometimes when you’re hurting, when what you want is relief from pain instead of making the best choice. This week has been like that.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Really looking at getting this in place this coming week. Moved Latin here. Makes more sense to do it on days off and/or when I can see I have more time. With only a month to go left in the semester, I am looking forward to the end of it so I can take a breath and focus that time on something else.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Crossed Off: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!