Courage

“The 30th Anniversary That Almost Wasn’t” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Right now as I write this post it is June 9th, 2019.  I am sitting in my hotel room at 3 am and my wife is sleeping nearby. My wife is still with me and that is the greatest cause for me to be happy at this point. Tomorrow this post will drop and it will be our 30th anniversary.  Three decades together is a pretty impressive milestone these days and I suppose that should be the topic of my thoughts but rather it is the fact that this is the anniversary that almost wasn’t.

On our 29th anniversary, my wife and I were separated.  At the time I was sick of our marriage and the cold deadness of it. I didn’t hate my wife, I just didn’t want to be married to her anymore.  My love for her had completely dried up.  The results of keeping a lot of thought to myself and her own admitted lack of respect for me. That leads to a dead marriage where you live together and can even have sex, but the relationship sucks overall. I mark this date because I waited until the 11th to file for divorce.

At the time I was in love with someone else. Some people don’t want to think it was genuine but the truth that needs to be faced is at least on my side. This dead marriage I was in had left me vulnerable and open to anyone who showed me some sort of concern or respect and Miss Salty stepped in.  Fast forward a couple months and that relationship was over and I was hurt very badly.  I contacted my wife after a couple weeks of being miserable.

Oddly enough she didn’t react like I think most women would have, she listened.  Over the next week, a lot happened but the short story was we reconciled and I canceled the divorce.  It was only three days from our hearing. On that day, we weren’t in court and instead were in a hotel room much like now spending that day naked in each other’s arms instead.

For her, she never stopped loving me.  She just had to realize that love isn’t enough to keep things going in a marriage and now I see a lot of changes in how she treats me because of it.  It wasn’t the best way to learn this but she has done very well in a lot of respects. If she had approached it differently we would not be here.

For me, my love is much different toward her.  I suppose it is reflected in my Foundational Virtues and so my love for her is not the old one – that dried up.  It is new, based on a new understanding of what I value most.

This week’s journal posts, in general, will be a consideration of my virtues in my life regarding my marriage.  If you want to know why my love for my wife is new and different and learn something from it, then keep reading.  Not just today, but Woden’s Day and Frigg and Freya’s Day too.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of honor is showing respect toward the honorable in your life when they demonstrate it. My wife is a very noble person in that respect.  Despite all the hurt she looked past it and was open to hearing my side of why I wanted out.  She didn’t react in anger toward me although I am sure she felt it. She gets my respect a lot more in this new love of mine because, in some aspects of character, she exceeds me by quite a bit.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It took a lot of courage for us to both face reconciliation.  But to bravely hope the best was her doing.  In that respect, she had far more courage than I did.  I wanted to walk and start over with someone else. It has been a lot of work and challenges for us.  For her it is bravely facing the fact her husband is a different man in many respects. She is facing this very well.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

It takes both sides to admit the truth that it is both their fault. Just yesterday, we had this conversation about a friend of ours and how when he had done much the same as I did, how no one was concerned about he felt. I can echo that feeling during my own struggles.  If you are going to reconcile, the fact that the opposite number might have had an affair needs to be addressed for sure and there is no excuse for it, but there are reasons a person turns to someone else besides their spouse that relates to the relationship and why it fell apart.  my wife faced the truth of this and if she hadn’t this would be a non-existent anniversary.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I guess Love is central but my definition of love is far different than my days a Christian –  It is deeper and more realistic.  Romance is fine but it comes and goes. Love that has some strength to it requires Honor, Courage and Truth.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

No morning routine these next couple days.  Other than to wake up next to my wife and do some serious naked cuddling and making love.  This part of my life’s journey is one I want to enjoy.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Prepared” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In my mind, one should always be prepared for a fight, but at the same time, hope one does not actually have to fight.  It is this be prepared for war, but enjoy the peace attitude that resonates in my soul when I see the sayings of warriors.  It is about being in a position of strength or power over the situation so you can steer it toward a peaceful end.  No matter what chaos may be around you; you are calm and prepared for the fight, but also work so that a fight never comes.

For me, this preparation starts with mindset. It here that all the virtues shine pretty brightly, but none brighter than Honor, Courage and Truth.  Honor, because without self-worth and a sense of inner value one does not have the basic foundation from which to fight.  Courage is the will to fight.  Truth is the reason to fight. The three of them represent my axe, my sword, and my spear.

This week I will be using my journal posts to check in on goals and my bucket list.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When this post drops today, it will be day number 246 for The Grey Wayfarer. There are 119 left for the year cycle to be complete.  Next week I am going on a mini vacation with the wife for our anniversary so I need to use this week to write ahead a little bit so I don’t have to do very much writing on my vacation.

My hike remains a goal.  If I end up moving to another state, I will still have the goal of returning to the Upper Peninsula and doing the hike.  I really haven’t set a deadline on this and probably won’t until I have a better job from a financial point of view so I have some additional income to set aside for the hiking equipment I need.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I have a few bucket list items in sight and so one should meet this requirement goal requirement very soon. Budapest still remains as a bucket list item.  One of those long term things that I know will probably mark a different point in my life.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I started my non-fiction book but the basic way I write is that I focus on what I feel the inspiration to write on at the time.  So my novel has been getting the majority of the time but I do poke at this book a little. I need to probably put a little more effort into it.  Probably the best way to approach the non-fiction book and the novel is to make sure of the three days a week dedicated to writing at least one day gets dedicated to each and then have one flex day to work on what I feel inspired to work on.

Latin has been on the table a bit lately. I am trying to finish some other work first.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is at times far to complicated a virtue for me and other times it is clear and simple.  I simply don’t want to be without it in my life.  I draw a lot of strength from it and motivation.  I just wish it didn’t make you so vulnerable and thus hurt so much when it is cut off from you.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

This week is all about the Routine. The morning routine is pretty solid but I want it all seven days complete this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Last Sermon” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 11

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

One year ago today (May 27th, 2018), I preached my last sermon as a Christian pastor. When people ask me how I am doing, I am doing as well as can be expected, given the time of year and the memories involved with it. Part of that is leaving the identity behind of ‘pastor’.  This week is dotted with a lot of emotions, but leaving the ministry behind for good was bittersweet and it speaks to me of waste.  The thought that I have wasted 20 years of my life crosses my mind a lot.

My last sermon couldn’t have been more ironic. I was in an affair preaching on adultery from the ten commandments. My basic message was that if Jesus’ words on adultery were the facts, then we have all failed and we just need to cling to grace because that is all we got. No one is going to make it if the standard is not lusting.  No one could meet that standard.

Emotionally this was my most difficult sermon ever. I just wanted the service to end and go home. Neither my flame at the time or my wife was there and I felt alone and just sick of being a pastor and all of it. I went home, the woman I was having an affair with told her aunt about it.  I told my wife and the rest is a painful history.

I wouldn’t have minded so much but when it came to my last church, the message of grace seemed completely lost, even though I had been preaching it for nine and a half years to them. Lots of wasted words from my point of view. The man I entrusted my resignation to engaged in a plan to basically make things to be much worse than they really were.

For the record once again, I have never actually had sex with the woman I had an affair with, in fact ever.  At the time of my resignation, it had barely graduated beyond “I love you” and holding hands at a prayer meeting that looked normal to everyone else.  People made this to be much more than it was and that hurt too.  Because the man in charge let it happen on purpose. He told me he didn’t want gossip to spread through the church which is very sensible. He also told me he didn’t want to drag the woman into it either to protect her, something that was my concern as well. But once he had my resignation I had revised removing that confession line at his request, he called the woman up within probably minutes of me giving it to him and asked her permission to tell the story.

In the week’s that followed he did everything possible to make sure that gossip and rumor were exactly what happened. He deliberately dragged the woman into it (made possible by the fact we had broken up at the time and we were not talking to each other)  to do this and used her to get to me. I looked like I was hiding something, which I wasn’t. He looked like the hero so he could feed that ego and hero complex of his. He used it in the following weeks to paint a picture of me as a monster, the woman as a victim and him as the white knight that was here to bring the monster down. What a load of bullshit he piled up. All of it. 

In the end, he used the emotional hurt and anger of the congregation to get me fired and no severance given. I was never informed of anything that was going on officially until it was all over. The whole process was done without me being asked to speak on my own behalf one time.  ‘Grace’ and ‘Mercy’ at their finest.  That’s sarcasm if you can’t tell.  Bitter Sarcasm.   

I have forgiven the congregation for this.  They were misinformed and misled by a man who has to be in control of everything because he is personally insecure. People like him are in every church and the real cause of problems and why churches don’t succeed and have the reputations they have.  I have even forgiven the woman’s busybody aunt who did the most to engage in gossip. She was just acting in anger and hurt and I very much understand it.  She actually had good reasons to act the way she did, even if her actions were not very Christian.  Whatever that means. 

But the man himself – if there is any force of justice in the world I hope he has to experience the betrayal, manipulation, lies, theft of honor, and all the rest of it that he visited on me himself.  That karma visits on him the exact same thing he did to me. If nothing else I hope he lives a long and miserable life surrounded by no one at the end of it. That would be an end which he deserves because of his very utilitarian view of friendship. His friends no longer seeing him as useful so they simply don’t show up to help or comfort him. That would be truly fitting. 

As far as me and The Grey, this ‘one year ago thing’ is bothering me but I am moving through it. I refuse to go down to this storm.  I want to walk through it laughing at it. Mostly though, I just want a new sense of identity beyond the pastoral ministry thing.  It’s garbage to me now. An old cloak I have discarded. The white hat, the cross, and white cloak no longer suit me.  I prefer grey vestments and vulknut medallion now.

Mostly, my wife and I are trying to build some new memories. I worry about her as she has to get used to a man who is in many ways, not the same as he was. A man who is damaged in some ways, trying to heal as well.  Who will never completely heal and will no longer be what he was.  I want her to be happy because my own happiness depends on it.  I just don’t know about my side of it a lot.

The last sermon I preached in the church was ironic but also fitting.  The whole thing of pastoral ministry is adultery in my opinion now.  A pastor’s church is a mistress.  One that takes a lot and gives back very little and much like a real mistress drives a wedge between you and those you love as a pastor. A smart man gets out a lot sooner than I did.

I walk The Grey right now.  It is this time of year last year where every day has some significant event and memory that makes it difficult.  It probably won’t stop until the summer is over. I am just trying to live my life and living it in joy as much as possible.  If it wasn’t for the guilt and pain I have associated with these memories of last year, it would be easier.  The thing is I have come to accept that this walk is my path, but I can’t control the weather. I wish I could.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

“Thoughts on Memorial Day” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Today isn’t about veterans or those currently serving in the armed forces. Those have their own days. Memorial Day is about the dead who died fighting.  It is a time to honor those who are fallen in battle that didn’t come home. There are far too many of these graves that reflect this.

As a libertarian, I would honor such men and women by understanding the best way to honor them is not create more of them.  That there is a time where swords can be put away for good.  Mostly I look at each war that has people who died in it and see that my country sent men and women to die for some busybody and meddling cause.  I can count on one hand the wars the United States was involved with that were actually about my liberty and freedom. The Revolutionary War (perhaps), The War of 1812, WW1 (Maybe) and WW2.  The rest of it seems we had some ulterior motive other than freedom and liberty and even in the wars mentioned above, there were some opportunist policies that were implemented that in the end were about advancing power over others.

I probably honor the fallen more than other political ideologies, because if someone doesn’t come home from a war, I feel the government is to be held accountable for the reasons for that war. Warriors who die in battle should know their cause was right.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Honor is something to die for. Having value in yourself is something that all the fallen should know at that moment of death.   That what they were fighting for game them value as a person.  Otherwise, they died for nothing.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Warriors are in a sense always courageous.  But what puts the icing on the cake of courage for the fallen is that their cause was right.  That they were acting in courage for the right thing at the right time.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Truth is unfortunately in the case of war only found out after the fact. It is also often in the case of war proven that the cause fought for was less than honorable. Lies about the cause being fought for are what dishonor the fallen the most.  They need to be brought to the light because the truth is important and then the next time the war drum sounds, it will remind us to look to see that the cause is just and right and honorable.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In the end, though the warrior that fell for the cause of loving those he left behind saves all honor, demonstrates courage and fights for something true.  That a greater love no one has than the one who lays down his life for that which he loves. For this possibility and reality, we honor all regardless of the cause they fought for.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

June is coming and I have made a commitment to live through that month in a disciplined manner, I am going to need it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Warrior’s Foundation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Identity is one of the most important things that a person can understand particularly when it regards themselves. How one views one’s own identity has a great bearing on the decisions they make and the level of success they attain. I have spent a great deal of time these last few months meditating on the subject of my own identity.

In the end, three words keep rising to the top: Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Today I want to look at the Warrior.  To me, this is foundational to my identity as far as what is a core identity.  I know there is little cause for a man to be an actual warrior these days.  Very few have the true necessity of fighting in a real battle. But the battle of life still requires in my identity a warrior’s philosophy. “Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”  A warrior’s foundation allows one to face all things in life with honor, courage, and truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of this core is and perhaps the central part of the core is Honor. To be noble of being and to recognize it in others. To be positive about my future.  This week marks a year since things regarding the honor of my past identity came unraveled. My life as a pastor ( my central identity at the time) came to an end just a year ago, and a change from pastor to the warrior as a foundational identity started.  It has been a rocky road to get here, but I am feeling like something is about to happen here that will be a larger leap into a more honorable me. Part of this is to surround myself with honorable people, who are my core friends.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It is not always easy to do what is right.  As I look back at last year at this time because I was a pastor only in name and not in full truth; it was difficult to show courage. These days I face mistakes much better and own up to them when they happen.  The change is simply a matter of understanding my identity of being a warrior that takes responsibility for his actions. Courage is central to that.  To act with courage at the right time has become a core principle.  At the same time, it also takes courage to confront when people are not taking their responsibility and that has its risks but that is a far better course than to sit back and let them continue to avoid their responsibility.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

The warrior faces the truth.  Lies do not become true men of action.  I know one man who was a friend of mine who is now an enemy. I would say this is his greatest failing.  He is a good combatant, but he surrounds himself with lies. He is a false front of bravery, but he never seems to have the courage to face the truth. He only bolsters his own previously held opinions, no matter what the cost might be to what is true. I seek to never be like that.  One needs humility to know, understand and apply the truth. If you can’t face a simple truth that it is not possible to be right all the time, the truth will not be your core.

Higher Virtue: Love:

What does a warrior love? It is a modified version of the question: which path is the most loving? If the path is honorable, requires courage and embraces the truth, it is the one the warrior would walk.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

I decided to make daily stretching a part of this routine again.  I am noticing that without this I have a lot more problems with stiffness and joint soreness. It also is a good continuation of the calm meditative state I am going for in the morning.

I want this next week to be a test of all the disciplines from today to next Sun’s Day. Let’s see if we can have a full and complete week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Me and Mozart to Metallica” – The Skald’s Lyre

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I am currently planning on doing a lot of research on Norse Mythology in order to do a few Crossing Bifrost posts with a little more knowledge behind them.  I am instead going to implement one of the changes I proposed which is to create a series of posts on music.  This will be subtitled The Skald’s Lyre and will most likely appear with Crossing Bifrost on Saturn’s Day.  I miss discussing music and I want to get back to it.  The one effect this will have on other posts is that the Pagan pulpit will probably only have one song now on Sun’s Day.

I find music to be far more spiritual the older I get.  It has always had an emotional effect on me and I can’t go for too long before I find myself looking for something to listen to either motivate men or calm me.  I have also discovered over the years I am far less devoted to a particular kind of music or a particular era.  I am most interested in musical discovery; that is the discovery of new music from any era that I can enjoy and from which I can draw inspiration.

My musical journey like most people started with my parent’s music.  They both grew up in the 40s and 50s so that music was a regular part of what was on the radio.  My mom was a band member in high school and so she focused on classical music; so I cut my teeth in understanding music as a child on Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms.  I liked it, particularly Mozart. I don’t if she realized it but she sowed the seeds for my metal baptism later.

Dad was more of an eclectic guy when it came to music. He liked the 50s do whop groups, country (and by country I mean old country, not this new stuff that is more pop with a country twang) and he was the one that introduced me to Johnny Cash.  Both my parents were young adults during the 60s, and so that music was also around too. My dad must have had a thing for Janis Joplin and Iron Butterfly as he had their albums.

Of course, we went to church and the old hymns and gospel were there as well as some new fangled worship music later.  My problem was as I went through school, I never settled on anything.  Until my first day in high school.

I entered the doors as a freshman full of fear.  I have been introverted all my life. I was tall and skinny.  I had started playing football, but I had no real athletic talent. I was nerdy and kept to myself except for the few friends I would keep close because of church or school.  That first day though I walked in and half the school as wearing Def Leppard “Pyromania” t-shirts.  I bought the album a few days later and listened to it. My parents had gotten cable so I hit MTV and saw all kinds of what would be later known as Hair Metal.  It was not this that drew me, but I would close my eyes and hear Mozart, just played very fast and with electric power.

After that metal was a part of my life. We played it in the locker room before a football game so I began to understand the emotional power of music.  ‘Back in Black’ by ACDC became the unofficial school song as ‘red and black were our school colors and our home uniform for football was black, head to toe. Hard Rock, Metal and 80s Pop were aa part of the equation for me as a teen of the 1980s. When I hit young adulthood a band called Metallica would dominate my music in the 1990s.

Now you need to understand I lived a double life with music from my Freshman year in high school on.  I had an extensive Chrisitan Rock and Metal collection; which while it irritated the fundamentalist pastors I had at the time, they wouldn’t completely tell me to knock it off because of the lyrics.  That was my public music.  When I was away from the church and in my own room, there was a collection of devil worshiping secular music and Playboys under my bed.  It was this music, and perhaps even the Playboys, that brought out in me the side that was true to a part of me that church told me to repress.  I just never could shut that off and so I became a headbanger. A Christian one in public and a secular one in private.

I have always listened to what I want since becoming an adult. I like and prefer things with strings and multiple part harmony.  I like a lot of things my parents liked and since then I have a lot of very eclectic tastes.  I have never really gotten to be the old man shouting at the kids around – “That isn’t real music.”  Even as a metalhead, my only gripe is other metalheads who start decrying different types of metal as not real metal. What a bunch of noize.  If I like it, I like it and these last ten years I don’t think there is a genre of music that I don’t have at least one song in that I can enjoy.  That said. if I want inner peace, some form of metal, alternative music or a sappy love song hits my playlist.

The Skald’s Lyre will have different kinds of posts.  Sometimes I will focus on an artist or band. Sometimes I will focus on a particular song or group of songs. Sometimes I might focus on a particular genre of music.  I might follow a theme in music or even reactions to some songs that I have loved for years but some other person is hearing for the first time. The subject will be basically music I am listening to at the time and what I feel and think about it.

To close this week though I will leave you with a historically significant song.  This song was the first song to ever be played on MTV: “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles:

Perhaps it will be as equally prophetic for me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Refusing to Accept Society’s Chains” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Libertarianism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

We are born free. For libertarians like myself, this is a simple and true statement. It is after the moment of birth that people begin to try to place shackles on us.  They do this with a lot of good intentions, but the best of intentions cause a great amount of harm the majority of the time and one of the casualties of these chains is our freedom.  To be ‘woke’ in the libertarian sense is to recognize the chains that are imposed on us by others and then break them.  Whether those chains come from religion, society or government.

The distinction is understanding that voluntary consent is the great difference maker in relationships.  It is what makes sex not rape; a job not slavery; and a transaction of value not robbery. If there is NOT consent in these things they become rape, slavery, and robbery. When you are forced to do something against your wishes, that is being chained. It’s coercion and it is wrong.

This is why most libertarians find most of what the government does to be illegitimate. Some of us see government in the way the Founding Fathers of the United States saw it – ‘a necessary evil’ and others see it as completely illegitimate. The one thing we all agree on is much of what the government does is force compliances to its wishes with force, the threat of force (coercion) or fraud.  Because none of this involves consent; they are no better than kidnappers, extortionists, and thieves for the most part, except what they do has been deemed legal by society.

As a classical liberal, I accept that some government is necessary, but not because I think society wouldn’t do well without it.  I rather accept the fact that most people will not accept the idea of anarchy.  No matter how much you educate people on this, they want some central authority to appeal to if things go to shit.

So I accept that the government might be a necessary evil but I want it to have very specific and limited uses. 1) Protect my rights – make sure I am accorded my life, liberty, property, and ability to pursue my own happiness. As long as I am not harming anyone else’s rights, I should be allowed to exercise my own and the government should protect that. 2) Provide a court system to settle disputes but also don’t forbid or regulate private arbitration. This court system should also provide just punishment for those who violate other people’s rights including when agents of the government do it. 3) Provide a means of education for the purpose of people learning their rights, but also have no say in private education that wishes to exist.  I see a government that should be involved in defense, public safety, justice, and education.  Everything else, they should butt out as it is not really their business.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

The one thing that is hard for people to accept because they have gotten so used to their chains is a simple fact that society advances far better when people are free and voluntarily doing the things they love to do.  I have never found self-fulfillment in complying with the wishes of others and I would say that it creates a mental state that doesn’t help anyone around me either. WE NEED LIBERTY to be better people and thus have a better society of people who work together freely.

Wants (Freki):

I find myself these days attracted to those who are deemed criminals.  Mostly because I don’t see a crime unless there is a victim.  If you can’t show me a victim to the crime where they were forced, coerced or fraudulently treated then I say there is no crime.  So when the government passes laws where there is no victim but something is declared a criminal activity, I applaud the criminal element for taking that nonsense on.  They are real patriots at that point in my book. I want to live in a society free from these moralistic chains that criminalize people who have victimized no one.

Reason (Huginn):

That said I am no fool.  I kick in The Book of Rabyd 2:2 at this point.  I also engage in the 11th commandment – ‘Don’t Get Caught” and part of not getting caught is tolerating the law, even when it is stupid, to avoid incarceration.  To work to change the law and get rid of laws that create crimes out of the air that have no victims.  At the same time, the government has the real potential to go too far. Revolution and disobedience are options for me.  I refuse to accept any of society’s chains on me.  I tolerate the annoying, but I will gladly revolt against the tyrannical.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Mostly I simply work to live as freely as possible. To avoid the nonsense and yet at the same time pursue freedom and liberty, because it is those things that allow me to improve myself and my situation. Wisdom says I need the liberty to pursue a better life for myself, but society will also try to put its chains on me and I need to know what to do to avoid that as well.

Conclusion:

If my paganism keeps me free from the chains of religion in regards to spirituality, my libertarianism does the same when it comes to the forces of society and government. Shackles are impositions, we are not born with them and we should do everything in our power to maintain our birthright of being free.

You are born free; learn to stay free.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Morning Meditation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Trying to get back to peace is not always easy.  I have found that morning meditation is a good way to start. Reviewing everything that is important to me and then meditating on it keeps those days in perspective.  The perspective of the Big Picture.  The perspective of being at peace with myself as the central thing to my being.

It is the start of the Morning Routine when I do it properly that set my day off on a more positive course.  Focusing on one virtue and meditating on it for five minutes doesn’t seem like a great activity, but it is.  It makes me remember what is important.

The specifics of the day come into focus revolving around that virtue as well as its connections to the other virtues. It becomes a time of peace and that is the right path to start on for the day. I can’t recommend the practice enough.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I need to start walking this week on my days off.  With no need to spend time doing homework for school there is even less excuse for this.  This is also about meditation not just getting healthy and ready for that hike. The blog streak is at 225 days in a row with this post.  That leaves 140 days to go.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Yep, I think the tattoo will be first.  I am saving money for it every paycheck.  People might wonder what is taking so long, but I plan I finding the best and paying them for it.  If I am going to put something permanent on my skin – the standards are very high. Every day’s progress is a day closer to Budapest.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

With my study and homework time freed up, writing and learning Latin can take its place quite easily. I just need to focus on those things right now that school is done for a while.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In morning meditation I find that I am learning the love of self more and more.  I am very loyal to that which I love so learning to love myself is a part of learning to show myself some fidelity. the one thing I am looking forward to this summer, now that school is over is to spend some time working on myself in a lot of areas.  Studying the things I want to study, reading the things I want to read and writing the things I want to write. Forging myself with a little self-love as the fire should do wonders for me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I really need to be a little more tight on this.  It is important to set the day right and start it right. This Routine definitely does that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 3:2 – “There is Never Time to Do It Right, but There is Always Time to Do It Over.”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Hammer to Fall” – Queen

I consider this one of the lesser known but better songs of Queen.  It also deals with today’s subject – time.

Poem: ‘Priceless Words’ by LK Pilgrim

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LK Pilgrim has some good stuff for poems and seeing I am not inspired for my own poetry right now, enjoy.

Meditation:

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Definitely yours for wasting time on them. Time to find someone better.

Song of Preparation: “Wasted Years” – Iron Maiden

I think we could all sing this song about someone or something. The point is to learn and head a different direction.

Text:

“There is Never Time to Do It Right, but There is Always Time to Do It Over.” – The Book of Rabyd 3:2

Sermon:

I don’t know actually where this expression originated in our family but I do know it was a favorite with my Father.  He was a big one for doing things right the first time.  He hated coming back to do something again if it could have been avoided by simply doing things right the first time. He also felt by doing it right the first time and taking a little extra time to do it that way saved time in the long run.  He was most definitely right.

It is when we get sloppy that we find ourselves doing things again and wasting time.  It is interesting that the one thing humans take so seriously is time, but that we waste so much of it doing a sloppy job is also true.  Sure the sand of time is ticking, but does doing things quickly really save time?  Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to get better with each repeat or doing things right the first time and have time to reach other goals?  I prefer the later and have to conclude that my dad, wherever he got the saying, was right.

Time is the most important commodity anyone has.  You don’t even really know how much you have so it is important to get things right the first time so you don’t waste time doing things over and over again. That goes for relationships too.

At this point, we will leave the Book of Rabyd for a bit.  I will come back to it whenever I add another verse or modify an existing verse. Next up is a series on universal religious concepts. I also may from time to time go truly pagan on the Pagan Pulpit.

Closing Song: “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights” – Freddie Fender

I honor of my father who has provided two verses of The Book of Rabyd, I leave you with a country song and this was one of his favorites.  It also has a message I need to remember for myself.

Parting Thought:

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Ain’t that the truth.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 8 – Women Troubles

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 21st, 2019

It’s been a week since my last journal entry.  At that point, I had asked a question about what I needed to do to disappear? To fake my own death and thus keep my family protected from the Council of Magical Houses. Not a light question to ask but rather one for which I knew the short term consequences would be very grave.  If the Council was ever defeated, even then, I might not be able to come back because of repercussions from people who might want revenge. I am sure many other men and women have been down this road, I just never thought it would be me.

After finding my clothes, the Lioness offered to me a room in the Venus mansion.  It was basically part of the attic with a corner window that looked out over the grounds.  I remember the Venus mansion from when I was teen, but I have never been up here and I was glad for the fact that I was separated from the women that lived here. The House of Venus takes female superiority and feminism to whole new levels.  I have enough women troubles without being around a group of them that is generally hostile and would see me as a threat as well as a piece of meat and a walking dildo.

The attic apartment, because that is what it is, suits my needs. It has a bed, a small kitchen area and a work area in a medium size open space.  A small bathroom is cordoned off with its own room.  When I asked about it, the Lioness simply said it was a place they kept for people who needed privacy and perhaps a safe place to stay. I guess I fit that bill on both counts.

I now had access to some of the reports about me in the files of the Council and it has caused me to realize how I need to truly disappear very soon. They are very alarmed about me and the possibility I might take the side of pixies and tilt the balance at least in this area.  They won’t accept that because the war right now is tightly contested.  Magical creatures and mages are paying heavy prices for even the smallest gain. The Council would see my entry as a full-fledged battle mage as a threat they can ill afford. So the plan was for me to stay low and get ready to ‘die’ and disappear.

Thing is, I am not really taking a side here.  I am joining the resistance but that resistance’s goal is not to make a pixie world or a mage world but rather a free world for all magic. The Council is a threat to that, but so also are certain magical creatures and groups that want chaos to reign.  You might see the council as the extreme end of the order and the creatures that support the genocide of mages as the extreme end of chaos.  The thing the resistance wanted was neither of these two extremes forced on others, but rather letting each creature/mage decided for themselves their own path between order and chaos. An idea that is only really dangerous in the minds of tyrants.

Probably more on my mind was how I was surrounded by women at this point. As a now happy bachelor, I would have enjoyed it except most of them want me dead. The only thing that is stopping that is the Lioness decree and my bodyguard.

Her name is Amber.  She is an absolutely gorgeous redhead.  Tall too, as she is only probably half a head shorter than me. She is young, so the beauty she has is probably actually natural.  I trust her because she is not an illusionist or mentalist type of mage.  She is a straight up evoker specializing in fire magic. Nice curves too.  She often wears a low backed gown usually of red and gold jewelry.  Basically, no one bothers me when she is at my shoulder, and oddly enough she is one of the few House Venus types that doesn’t seem to be assessing my body like a piece of meat and wondering what condom size I wear.  I like her because she is the only woman in the place who my relationship with is not complicated. Her job is to keep me alive. I am cool with that.

The other women in my life are not so simple.

Raven will be my contact with the resistance in the field.  She and her team of the troll and the skinny mage will be my backup if things turn to shit. The dark gothic half-elf, who is probably the same age as myself but looks eighteen, is competent, but there is something about her with me that is pure sexual temptation and trying to maintain professionalism in that mindset is difficult.

The Lioness is professional and probably keeping her looks alive with magic and alchemy.  That said she is also roughly my age.  I can hold my end with her.  I don’t trust her to be honest for a lot of reasons.  If the war goes poorly for the resistance, I can see her disavowing all knowledge to save her own curvy ass. She is the kind of person who supports change until that change causes her personal risk to the point she backs off and plays CYA.

Lunette is sullen these days. I think she wanted to reignite this old flame we had, but based on some things I said she might have come to the conclusion that it is a ‘no’ and maybe that it is out the realm of possibility for me.  Honestly, though, my attitude toward sex is getting more pixie-like every day since leaving the whole Christian faith.  My magic aura to her is like crack cocaine, and for me, pixies represent a recharge and supercharged magical force that I cannot begin to describe.  The relationship would be intensely erotic and be mutually beneficial on a practical magical front.  The only problem is pixies have no concept of sexual fidelity. Not that it represents as big of a problem to me anymore.

The only thing that keeps me from dating and the whole sex issue right now is a promise I made to myself about mourning my wife for six months. I still wear my ring for that reason. January is almost over and that would be three months.  Halfway there.  Once April is over, then I am going to set the ring aside and enter the world of male-female relationships once again and I don’t really have this idea that sex is strictly for marriage anymore. It is just Lunette and me have some baggage of another variety and I don’t know if I want to open up that suitcase of pain.

Then there is the whole ‘spirit’ of Elpis shit. Is it possible that Miss Salty was under the influence of Elpis?  Shit, that would explain a lot but I have no idea what motivates a dryad turned possessor of human females.  What rage or hurt is driving her right now or quite frankly what drove her to destroy the tree and leave the grove in the first place?

Besides all the other preparation to disappear, I had two things I really needed to do as main things. 1) Visit the grove and see for myself what happened and 2) assembly my team for action. The first I resolve to do tomorrow and the second I am still waiting for the first dossiers to arrive.

Its been a while since I have been to the Grove.   Hell, it’s been a while since I even looked at it from a distance. But there are internal real questions as well as practical ones to answer. I have a suspicion this is going to be painful but necessary.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!