Skald Tales and Poems – Poem – “Soul Blood”

Happy Moon’s Day

“Soul Blood”

I remember in the heat of summer,

where blood poured from my soul.

Wounds received from terrible blades

from the front, behind and within.

 

Shades of crimson flecked with gold

Pooling beneath my feet and pouring over my hands

As they tried to stop the bleeding.

Vainly they tried.

 

Weak I was on my knees

Destroyed and anemic

My heart slowing

Empty, alone, dying

 

Echos of the voices that wielded the blades – mocking me

A good friend becomes betrayer

A lover becomes a stranger

My own silent faith, echoing in my ears.

 

For days I bled, with no hope.

Until the one I betrayed saw my wounds

She did not raise her own blade in vengeance

Rather she touched my soul with her healing hand.

 

The bleeding stopped just in time.

Her own soul blood poured into me and restored my soul

She closed the wounds with stitches of compassion

I now bleed no more.

 

The scars remain forever

Reminders of who wasn’t true.

But my soul’s blood pumps strong once more

Reminding me of she who became my Eir

A Poem by Edward W. Raby, Sr. – January 14th, 2019

Author Notes:

O have written this poem over the last week or so.  Finishing it on the 14th of January 2019.

In this poem I have been trying to capture the feelings of the month of August 2018.  Feelings that are strong and were at the time devastating. I came up with the title of soul-blood as a way describe it.  I then ran with the concept.

Emotionally this was difficult as one as on the one hand every time I write a poem I am reminded of the person who helped me understand and write them better.  “Lover becomes a stranger” is her line and it still hurts to think on it.  The scar throbs when I write a poem because of her, so to speak.

One the other hand, I have for the first time ever in this poem truly used my wife as an inspiration for the poem.  She is my Eir.  Eir being the Valkyrie known for her healing ability.  My wife became my Eir that month.  She has been so ever since and of all people she had the least reason to take on that role.  The Valkyrie I waited for at the time was her in the end.

Hope you enjoy this poem and I always appreciate comments on my poems as I still am very new to this.

Thanks for reading,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Unlocking My Meditation

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

This week I am looking a tweaking certain things about my routines so I am going to look at each journal post and see what needs to be tweaked.  Under Foundation Virtues is some discussion my Morning Routine and Bucket List and oddly enough they are going to go together.  The way they are going together is through meditation.

One of my only concerns with the Morning Routine has been meditation.  I originally thought what I need to do is formalize things a bit.  Make them more structured.  I think that will happen, but I now feel I shouldn’t look at it that way.   I would rather look at it as making changes to unlock the potential of mediation for myself.

What I picture is meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues, picking one principle from one of them to meditate on, then meditating on one of my goals, and one bucket list item. This would involve a nine-day rotation.  It would then end with emptying my mind and doing a basic relaxation technique. I have nine virtues, nine goals and nine principles.  The only problem is I have ten bucket list items so it would involve removing one of them.

I have been debating the use of aids on this.  Most notably a candle and a symbol focus. The symbol focus I have used and it would probably be the Valknut. I am thinking a medallion that after meditation I can wear around my neck as a constant reminder.  The candle is also a focus I have used in the past and it a powerful one where I have gotten so lost in meditation that I lose track of time.  I am going to try a candle with a timer from my smart phone to offset this potential ‘problem’. Position has always been an issue and  I am going to go lotus for a while.  It usually hurts my knees but mostly I think that is because I am not used to it.

So far there are several things I do that are going to stay.  1) Nine Noble Virtues – Meditation on a virtue or virtues really works.  It definitely is a much higher thing to meditate, on than what I want to do that day. I may however add meditation on the higher virtues as well. 2)  Nudity – I have to say there is something very beneficial about literally throwing off all encumbrance, including clothing, to meditate.  No clothes and the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band. There is something very liberating, free and open about this state when meditating.

The main goal now is to unlock the potential of this part of my morning routine so that I gain insight, enlightenment, a positive mental state and motivation from it.  The ultimate goal is to have a highly effective ten minutes of meditation that accomplishes all of this regularly.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Meditation has also been very instrumental in getting me back into a more positive attitude and mental state about my future and giving me that much-needed self-examination that leads to a sense of self-worth. A sense of honor is something I have gained while meditating.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing to do and when to do it is not clear.  I have found mediation to be the key at times in discovering both.  Then all that remains is to actually act and meditation can steel my heart to do that.  Meditation helps with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I cannot underestimate the number of times clarity, enlightenment, insight and other things like this have been part of my mediation results. Truth has been unlocked at certain times, and for that I am very grateful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

A feeling of well-being and a feeling of being loved and loving are sometimes very present in my meditation times. I guess in many ways it is how I have learned to love my wife more and more each day.  It has at least been a tool for unlocking my understanding of my love for her and I would say some of the same mental state of openness and freedom has slipped over into the times we make love as well.  Love of life and the world around me is a very present feeling when I meditate as well and I want to unlock that further.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditation
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I have made the line for meditation just that.  The process inside of this simple word will be written down in my paper journal until it becomes more automatic. Much of what happens in routines is that I have to follow what I want by looking at a list at first.  This can be clumsy and awkward at first but the more I do it, the more natural it becomes. Meditation changes will be like that too but I think it will be worth it.

As a side note my meditation time spills over into my full body stretch and I am thinking of doing some more yoga type stretches with this.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Removed starting my own business. As I look to the future this bucket list item will be a goal under something involving my career eventually.  It will make its way to my goal list eventually so it isn’t really gone, just shifted in timing and placement.

Weightlifting:

This is one activity that meditation is a big part of when I do it.  Every set is preceded by a mental focusing and as the set is being done, mental focus is very important. It is this meditational aspect that I miss just as much as the challenge of the iron.  I will hopefully get back to this soon. I have the money now to get a gym membership going at least.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Songs of 2018

Happy Sun’s Day. It is also the 11th Night of Yuletide.  This night is sacred to the Valkyries and Warriors.  We remember those who choose the slain as the noble and honored dead destined for Valhalla, and those warriors who were chosen. Today we remember the virtue of Self-Reliance.

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Today’s service resembles a concert more than a service.  Basically, the idea struck me that I should do the past year, one month at a time, in song.  So there will be no text or sermon today.  Just one song per month (two for one month) representing each month as I experienced it. This probably as much as a reflection on this past year, but rather than write about it, I will just give you a song on each month and a little commentary.

I suppose a warning is in order as I am going to be pretty open here about my thoughts.  I also should note that I had to take a break twice while writing this post.  There are a lot of strong emotional memories to 2018 for me. Some good; some bad.  In any case, my hope is a little more closure on a year I hope to not repeat. Overall it changed me for the better, but it was a helluva ride.

Music for me is still a an expression of the real emotions and thoughts I am having I can’t express in words. I think for this reason this way of doing a year review is probably more accurate in many ways than just writing about it.

January: No Rest for the Wicked – Godsmack:

I choose this song for the theme for the entirety of 2018.  I started with the struggle to be a ‘man of God’ who had lost his faith.  The whole year was me not getting enough rest because of all my struggles.  In the end, I dropped the masks and I am probably far more at rest because I am more genuinely who I really am now.  The verses of this song really reflect some of my thoughts to this day, so it fits.

February: American Pie – Don McLean:

In February, my long time organist and friend died. This represented the last of three great musicians/vocalists in my church and with this death for all practical purposes it was ‘the day the music died’ both in my church and my soul. It was my grief over this, and the fact only one person understood it at the time, that left me vulnerable.

March: Losing my Religion – REM:

March was a transitional month for me as I started to fall in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Looking back on it, and as warning to others, grief over the loss of two good friends in less than a year, a weak marriage and looking for comfort, left me open to this.  That and not caring about my religion anymore.  I had lost my faith a couple of years before due to theological reasons, but now the emotional side of it came crashing down.

April: Don’t Stand So Close to Me – The Police:

Lot’s of secret love this month.  Both directions and both forbidden.  I have come to a greater understanding of this song than I ever wanted to this year. Now when I hear this song, I remember the lessons of this past year vividly. Mostly how easy it is to submit to temptation, especially when you are hurting and want something to ease the pain. There is really no excuse for this, but there are reasons people do this which I now know all too well.  I have no excuses, but I did have those reasons.

May: Monsters – Shinedown:

https://youtu.be/Nll48NdS7q4

The shit hit the fan in late May and my monsters got loose.  I think I made the remark at the time that the Pagan was freed from his cage and was kicking the Christian’s ass. I suppose this song stretches into June as well.

The reason it does, is I trusted someone I considered to be a friend with something important.  They took advantage of that trust and betrayed me to get one more win over me, probably to stroke his already overly inflated ego. Yeah, rage doesn’t begin to describe what I felt when I found that out.  It became greater as more details emerged during the summer and I began to discover how planned and maliciously thought out this betrayal was. It still is something I struggle with and quite frankly I finally found someone I don’t believe I can ever forgive. At least not until the scale of justice gets balanced first. Til then my monsters stay hungry and patiently wait.

See the source image

June: Familiar Taste of Poison – Halestorm:

I fell in love with Halestorm this summer.  I also fell fully in love with a young woman.  It’s a decision I now regret. I think the relationship was full of natural chemistry but part of that chemistry was the additional effect of generating a toxicity that was wonderfully deadly. I didn’t want to be saved and I didn’t want to be sober. In the end, I think that toxicity killed it.  I probably should be glad for that, but there is still a sadness and pain to it all for me. This song definitely captures that feeling for me still.

July: 400 Lux – Lorde:

I don’t like describing people as addictions.  It makes them seem like they’re not people but the relationship I had was addicting. Relationships are things. We were always killing time together in July, so the lyrics fit too. It’s no accident I chose the video for this song that has scenes from The Perks of Being a Wall Flower.  It’s a reminder, that life needs to be lived and not just observed.  It’s also a book I probably will not read again for the foreseeable future. Maybe someday I will pick it up again with new eyes, because I really liked it.  There are too many memories associated with it right now. That and the Song All of Me by John Legend. This song by Lorde I can still listen to and remember without it being too painful, but not that one.

August: Stuck with You – Huey Lewis and the News:

August was a roller coaster month.   It was pivotal turning point.  I went from being very special to the young woman in question to becoming someone they used to know in the space of less than a hour. I found a new job, but this happened the same day, so the joy of that disappeared. I found myself alone and bleeding from my soul pretty bad. In that state, I also woke up and began to think that my wife and I could save our marriage.  From my perspective, it was a long shot and I fully expected my wife to tell me to go to hell.

But she didn’t. She accepted my apology and apologized to me in return. We talked, I mean really talked, for the first time in years. It started a healing process that is still in process, but we are better than we have ever been in a long while.  This was the start of that.

Long story short, we found our way back together. In all of this, the only one who really never stopped loving me is her. The only one who exercised ‘Christian’ love, mercy and forgiveness was her.  It overwhelmed me and I fell in love with her again.  We picked this song as our own while on a weekend away.  I am happy to be stuck with her and she is happy to be stuck with me.

September: Love Walks In – Van Halen:

In August I was standing in a convenience store when this song was played.  I started singing it out loud as the cashier was doing so too. He stopped and asked me if it had meaning to me and I said it did now. I continue to play this song on my ‘Wife Playlist’, it makes me think of this moment and her every time.  Throughout September it was my second favorite song next to Stuck With You.

October:  I have two for this month.  Sorry I couldn’t choose just one. 

Both of these songs are on my current walking play list and have been so for a long time. In October as school began in earnest, I found myself listening to them every day. I still do when I listen to music.

Prayer – Disturbed:

It is the way I pray – ‘living isn’t hard enough without ‘god’ making it harder.  I love the lyrics of this song and the feelings behind it. It reflects a lot of my continued struggles with faith.

Voices – Disturbed:

https://youtu.be/pKlg3jYMwRU

I love the video of this song as it reflects the song so well.  I like how the guy is bullied, made fun of and has that girl he likes moment where she dissed him.  He then fantasizes about how to get even with them all – the voices speak in his head.  Instead of acting on them though, he just leaves work and goes to a concert and lets it all go instead.  I listen to this one a lot when I am having dark thoughts.  It helps them simmer down.

November – Hammer to Fall – Queen: 

I include this one for a lot of reasons: 1) The biopic Bohemian Rhapsody was released this month and my daughter and I had a date and went to see it.  Best movie I have seen in a long time.  2) I think in some ways it became a month of returning to ‘normal’ where my wife and I, my family and the friends I have left are back to some sense of stability.  This song kind of is symbolic of that as my daughter and I got back to talking music, books and movies – instead of the chaos of my life. 3) The message of this song.  The hammer is going to fall, so live life fully. 4) Plus it wouldn’t a music list without Queen.

December: Dreams – Van Halen:

https://youtu.be/cG3Vfa6_gCs

Reflective of the end of the year. I graduated college (with a little work to do) and my wife, myself and family have been celebrating the holidays together.  I am starting to dream again about what my life will be.  Dreams are what love is made of according to the song and honestly my life has started to reflect that again.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: text

Wishing you the most prosperous journey as you travel through 2019.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Family Values

Happy Wooden’s Day. It is also the 7th Night of Yuletide.  This night is sacred to Thor and Children.  There is an idea here of resurrection and renewal.  The idea of continuation in this night with children being the future and Thor’s sacrificing his two goats with his hammer for food and then raising them back to life the next morning as part of the mythology.  Thus the basis for the virtue of Fidelity, which is remembered tonight,  which is continuation and legacy.

Journal Entry:

I guess the only thoughts worth considering this week were the continued questions of faith with the whole Christmas thing. It is very strange, in a getting used to it sense, to not be celebrating Christmas in the sense I used to celebrate it.  That is celebrating the incarnation of Christ.  I just don’t buy that anymore. So I move along with people wishing me Merry Christmas and me saying ‘Happy Holidays’ in return and not getting bent out of shape about it either way.  There is a pagan part of me that wants to say ‘Blessed Yuletide’ back but perhaps this isn’t the time for me to do that yet. I have a lotto sort out yet regarding my faith.

The truth is though I want any holiday to be a time of community and family. So it is better not be an ass about it and move along given that most of my family is Christian including my wife.  It was weird Christmas Eve as it was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t at a candlelight service.  Instead I let my wife go alone and I stayed at home.  I spent the time thinking and meditating on a few things.

The one thing I will probably be doing in between writing fiction is working on The Book of Rabyd.  You can find an older incarnation of this book here: The Book of Rabyd.  The design was a book of principles, wisdom and sayings of the family passed down through the years.  I was reworking it on the Microphone.  I am going to try to rework it again as it needs to be updated. It is the basis for the values of the family.  It is also my legacy to my children and grandchildren.

The one thing though that starts today is the active seeking of a new job.  Time for me to be about the Business Virtues and pursuing my goals.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

The issue as always is to be independent.  To not be reliant on others for my life and lifestyle. This extends to my family as well, and that it is just my wife and I in practicality.  The hope is to be debt free and prosperous to the point we don’t need anyone’s help to stand on or own two feet. So far so good, but more needs to be done for the future’s sake.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Funny thing is as much as I bitch about work with my fellow employees, I actually am starting to enjoy working for work sake. Now I just need to find something I enjoy doing as well for its sake and mine.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

You know, we are getting to the point where fiends over for dinner and a movie is not beyond the realm of possibility.  if I only had some friends that were local. I hoping through a new job to find some.  I just still have this problem of trusting people after being betrayed.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – 1 hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Writing – 1000 words/day outside the Blogging.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

This new routine is working out better.  I still think though that another change is in order in the writing department. That’s why I added the Writing part.  Time to start working on that novel and perhaps my career as a writer.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

# 3 is front and center and # 6.  Both I hope to get going very soon, Once Number 3 and 2 are finished I will consider myself on my way to my new chapter of my life.  Goals: achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

I think the real reason we are following this is because both of us can agree to it. It will work we just need to up the income side of things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Final Resolve

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day. It’s also the second night of Yuletide.  The Night of the Wild Hunt sacred to Odin and ancestors. We remind ourselves of how important hearth and home is as it is the only thing that can protect someone from The Hunt. The Hunt that begins on Samhain and continues to the end of the year with Oath Night sweeping everything before it. We remember Perseverance as one of the Nine Noble Virtues. Today is also the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. It only gets brighter from here. 

Journal Entry:

I suppose it has been an interesting week.  Trying to get some things finalized for school, going to work and working in retail at this time of year is pretty interesting.  I also have been using the new free time just to relax a little.  I now have some time to play a little Skyrim and watch Harry Potter movies.

I am also motivated with a new resolve to find a new career path.  My friend has an interesting term for some jobs = a ‘Joe Job’.  I know what he means as Joe Jobs are the kind of job where you put in your hours to make money but you are never going to get ahead with such jobs – just survive. I want to do more than survive. I also want to enjoy what I am doing.  I have found an enjoyment to just working itself but I want to find a job I enjoy as well.

That said, I am enjoying the downtime from school and I feel more relaxed and in a better frame of mind. I am in a tension of sorts of wanting this time of rest to last but also getting tired of where I am in some respects now.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The only issue of discipline right now is the study/reading time which I ma basically having trouble in figuring out what I want to do. Probably should have been a little more proactive here.  The other areas are Walking and Weightlifting which basically I have no place to do right now.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I made it.  I finished school and I am now looking for a new career.  I wanted to be at this point in am much different way that I arrived but I got here nonetheless.  The different path was interesting and full of some unique joys and perils.  But to stand here at a point I aimed at and having arrived…yeah I feel good.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I still struggle with what exactly to be loyal to as far as faith. That said my principles are starting to harden into a good philosophy to live by and I am enjoying that process. I spend time with my wife whenever I can to keep our relationship strong.  I love my family and I am starting to love myself again. I have a small (very small) circle of friends that I am very loyal to.  At work some people have shown their support of me and I support them in kind.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Cleaning yes,  Weightlifting and Walking are problematic because I don’t have a place to do them right now. I also have to admit that I haven’t been looking hard yet.  Mostly this is a financial concern,

Nutrition:

Next week will be the first time my diet tightens so that I am allowed four carb sources and day and four cheat meals a week.  Timing is probably spot on as this kind of vigilance is needed during the holidays.  Just a nudge right now so that is good.  With no place to lift or walk right now, nutrition is very important to maintain where I am.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – It was a good week for honor, courage and truth.  I enjoy the fact that all I have left is my internship and that I am moving forward with my life.

Business – Opportunities are now open pt me and I have been made aware of some of them, sifting through these to try to find the one that will be a joy to me and allow me to have the hugest level of self-reliance, industriousness and hospitality is now the task before me.

Self – The real issue to me right now I that I miss weightlifting.  It’s just joining a gym has two problems right now.  1) Until I get past Yuletide, Money is going to be tight. 2) I don’t know where I will be working ultimately so I don’t want a long-term commitment until I do know.  Discipline is solid but could be better, but I have to say graduation has been a symbol of Perseverance fulfilled and Fidelity is solid.  Looking forward to seeing all my folk together in one place.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – A Strong Soul

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I someone would ask me how I feel right now, I would tell them tired but still strong. It’s my soul that is tired. probably because of the fact I just don’t quit.  I do need this Yuletide time to be a time of rest and celebration. I need to be able to breathe for a bit.

Image result for sleep doesn't help if the soul is tired vikings

My goal is strength of soul more than anything else when it comes to myself.  My soul has been bruised, bleed out. battered, betrayed and a whole host of other things this past year.  I suppose though the fact that it is still alive and standing is a testimony to my perseverance if nothing else. Of course some of those wounds were self-inflicted too so my soul, heart and mind have a lot of arguments these days.  I do feel healing is something I am experiencing when I get the chance but it is not so much healing I need right now; but rather, to feel that my soul is getting stronger and stronger every day.  That the blood that was drained from it is starting to return.

I know I am using a lot of metaphors, but in describing what I am trying to get across it is pretty much what I am left with.  I suppose though if I do ever find my strength again of soul I will be stronger than before.  If that which does not kill you makes you stronger, then by the holy powers I am going to be a lot stronger.  A helluva lot stronger.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The one thing I am glad for, because it has kept me sane and focused, is the various discipline I keep putting in my life.  Some things might seem weird to discipline like making sure I cuddle/communicate with my wife for at least ten minutes a day when possible.  Not something people normally see on a self-discipline routine of any type, but it is important to do given all that has happened.  Making sure things are good on all fronts.

I am going to do one thing this break which is reassess everything on my routines and disciplines lists.  Going over my goals, the bucket list and everything else will take priority as well.  As we come to the end of the year, it important to be clear about what the objectives are for the next one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Sometimes when I keep getting up from defeat and failure, I wonder if it is perseverance or stupidity.  Part of my wants to say I have had enough and its time to throw in the towel.  Unfortunately or fortunately, that isn’t part of my makeup.  Quitting is never an option for me.

Image result for sleep doesn't help if the soul is tired vikings

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think, in the future I will benefit from the lessons of fidelity I have learned this year.  My own weaknesses in it are still evident when it comes to faith and my marriage based on last years performance.  That’s a fair and honest assessment. but out of that failure I have found a new understanding of fidelity.  That is, I know if I am being true to what I feel about those relationships, than being loyal to them is not a problem.

I have also learned what kind of friends I want in my life because true colors were shown very quickly and I guess now I am much more cautious who I give my friendship to these days. I don’t want to be the kind of ‘friend’ that others were to me this past year.  ‘Friends’ only when you can do something for them or your friendship makes them look good.  Perhaps there is another lesson in keeping my circle small and tight here. Probably very likely.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting right now.  I plan on joining a new gym on Monday and getting back at it, so I am hopeful that this part will start not only to keep my body strong but my soul as well. I need my mediation of iron.  Walking may be the treadmill every day for a bit until the weather gets better and I can use the trials again.  Cleaning is pretty consistent and it keeps my minimalist self from going nuts.

Nutrition:

So far the carb counting and cheat meal counting has worked.  I haven’t gone over at any time. With that said, things are going to start to get more tight after the holidays are over.  It’s at this point things will be put to the test and I must say the goal of looking as best I can is starting to be very real to me.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – Weary but good.  This week marks the end of another semester of school.  Graduation tomorrow, but I still have some work to do. I need to be very truthful about myself in the coming weeks as well as make good courageous and honorable decisions going into the new year.

Business –  I am coming to the end of a stage of life here and trying to start a new one.  My former career of ministry is done and I need to embrace a new one.  Now I just need to find that path. Thankfully I have learned for a long time the importance of work and being industrious.  I have learned to work toward being self-reliant and now it is time to gain enough prosperity to be hospitable to those who need it.

Self – Strength needs to be recovered here but I think the path I am on that involves fidelity, discipline and perseverance will help me.  The goal in the end is to be a proud Viking soul that is prosperous and strong.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues -A Prosperous Soul

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

Well at this point the only thing left is my exam for Inferential Stats which actually doesn’t involve much in the way of an exam.  I need to finish my three problems in presentation form to turn in today and have my Excel and Word work on a flash drive to look at.  There is a in class portion but it isn’t supposed to take long. In any case by 5:30 today Fall 2018 will be over for me. I am fairly sure this was my toughest semester not academically but personally.  It just was challenging on an emotional level all the time.

When I haven’t been working on home work, I have been trying to relax and spend as much time as I can with my wife. Part of this is dreaming about being a prosperous soul.  I have heard the verse in the bible about the love of money being the root of all evil.  Usually I have heard this in a sermon where the basic gist is – “your money is going to cause you to sin so give it to the church.”  Convenient that the clerics will take it off your hands for you.  I am not sure I love money so much as I love what it gives when I have it – a feeling of prosperity,  That feeling of being a prosperous soul that is satisfied and has no need or want.  It’s the lack of prosperity that leads to evil and struggle.  I want to end my struggle and find some prosperity that is satisfying.

See the source image

I don’t want money so much as the prosperity it brings and that feeling that lack has been satisfied and the other feeling I want is to be able to help others feel the same by sharing from that prosperity. I want to be a prosperous soul.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Independence is the issue of Self-Reliance. It is the centerpiece of prosperity too.  The goal is to have all the needs met.  Not just the basics of food, clothing and shelter but hat you need to function in the society you live. So for us Americans that usually involves transport and insurances of various kinds.  So far my wife and I have that covered just not at the best level. Hoping to change that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

With school drawing to a close, it has become time to look closer at what I am going to be, what my work identity will be. I do enjoy working and making money. There is something in that process that is satisfying to me in and of itself.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I finally got a sectional couch so the living room looks a little better. It also is  a step closer to perhaps having people over as guests. If you need to talk and want a coke and a smile, I still have a listening ear and Coke Zero in the fridge. Just make sure you call first, as my wife and I might be cuddling on the new couch.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

There is a part of me that will be glad when the school part is out of this and I can study what I want and read what I want.  There is a possibility of another semester of classes online but that is mostly a way to pay for my internship by remaining a full-time student. Keeps the student loan guys off my back for a little longer so I can get a decent job too.  The real thing is that I do have a few weeks where I can read something I want to read and can study something I want to study.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is going to be finished but not quite.  I will be walking the platform Saturday in the cap in gown.  It will be a moment of achievement, I just have that internship thing to finish and probably some more classes to pay for it.  The real work will be done and so that is that. # 3 will probably start the day after as I update my resume and look for jobs that this degree qualifies me for.  Time to start finding that new identity. # 6 – I am going to probably sign up at a new gym tomorrow after work and that is when I will be working out.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 continues. Xmas bonus, and taxes coming up soon.  Might help with that. New job with more money might help too. I am curious where we will be by the end of 2019.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 3 – Temptation

Happy Saturn’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 5th, 2019

So after last night’s encounter with Lunette and the three stooges, I went home and set up my wards.  Basically there are two types of wards I can do which, while not sophisticated, are effective.  First, there are my protective wards which basically can set magical using beings on fire. I set these up on all four walls of my apartment and in front of the door.  The other type I can do is detection wards which tell me a magical being is getting close to them.  I put this up on the outside of my apartment walls and a couple on the sidewalk leading up to my door.

My day today started at roughly two in the afternoon when one of my detection wards went off.  There is no klaxon or bell or anything like that, you just know something is coming close to them.  I reluctantly gave up the book I was reading in my lab and readied my shield spell in one hand and my fireball in the other. It might be Lunette as she promised or it could be someone else. There was a knock at the door.

I relaxed a little and put on my jeans as I was wandering my apartment in my  underwear, t-shirt and socks thing.  I went to the door.  No peep-hole to look through, so I readied my shield and opened the door.

Standing there was the goth elf chick from the night before.  Her features definitely had that angled elf thing going with a very slight but sensual build.  I noticed that her hair was dyed black, as I could see the roots which were golden.  Her eyes were green, which told me contacts or illusion, as most of the time elves have silver eyes or golden.  If she could do illusion, changing her eye and hair color would be child’s play, so I was guessing not an illusionist. She didn’t throw a fireball at me last night and she didn’t stop my lightning bolts with a shield, so probably not evocation or adjuration either.  That left necromancy, conjuration, transmutation, enchantment and divination.

Well the council snaps up every necromancer they find and necromancy is outlawed.  Note, like all governments, they still keep said power to themselves.  Bastards. Despite the goth look and the skull choker probably not necromancy. Not transmutation either.  Mages who can transmute things get rich or comfortable doing it.  Diviners who are any good don’t do a lot of field work even if they are freelance. While I do divination myself, I don’t use it often, even though I am good at it.  No, this elf woman was probably not a diviner.  That left two possibilities – conjuration or enchantment.   If she was a conjurer, she would have thrown something at me last night.  A poison cloud or a demon from hell – something.  Yeah, my best guess was she was an enchantress. Good thing I am hard to beguile thanks to long hours of meditation under Mrs. W’s teaching years ago.  She was an enchantress too, and taught me defenses against their charms.

The problem was magic aside, this girl had some charms of her own that had nothing to do with magic. She was cute despite, or maybe because of, the black hair, green eyes and black lipstick. She wore her black outfit which consisted of black knee length boots, black stocking which disappeared into her short black skirt. The skirt was short enough that if she bent even slightly over, I would be able to tell the color of her underwear assuming she was wearing any.  A black button up shirt which was unbuttoned about four buttons showing ample cleavage, which was demonstrating a strong C almost D cup.  Over her shoulders was a black jacket that covered her arms. Skull choker with matching skull earrings completed the ensemble.  She was sensual, cute and darkly sexy on top of being an elf. She was temptation with black boots.

“Well, I don’t see your two friends.  Is this a business or social call?”

“The file said you were a smart ass. Grumn is nursing some burns you gave him last night and Alex is probably brooding somewhere. I am Raven.”

“Suits you.  At least the file doesn’t say dumb ass.  You don’t strike me as Council stooges, so why the attack last night?”

“Pixie was the target. We are bounty hunters and she has a high price on her head – alive or dead.”

“Yeah, probably me too.”

“Yes, actually. But we don’t go after mages as a general rule. Pixies and monsters are our specialty.  Do you mind if I come in?  I promise I will be a good girl and not cast spells at you. I just want to talk.”

It was pretty cold out.  I was pretty confident in my abilities to handle her alone.  I mean she would be in my home giving me an advantage and I was pretty sure she was an enchantress.  I would be an embarrassment to Mrs. W’s memory, if I couldn’t handle her on a magical level.  It was the sensual, cute and darkly sexy part that was bothering me.  I am a man and my wife had been dead for a couple of months now.  There is an old saw about ‘there is really only one way to comfort a widow, you just have to remember the risks’.  I could probably testify that is probably true for widowers as well.

I let her in.

My apartment is affectionately known as “Bag End” or the “Hobbit Hole” by some of the family.  That is because you have to step down six steps to get to it once you are inside the door. Half the apartment is ground level and below, the other half ground level and above. I stepped aside in the door way and let her go ahead of me, telling her to turn to the right and the living room would be in front of her. As she walked down the steps I couldn’t help but watch her move and then, after shutting and locking the door, and then resetting my ward, I followed her to the living room.

The living room had been the most sparsely furnished room when we had moved in and only recently I had received a three-piece sectional from a friend and found a high-backed reading chair.  A couple of end tables made of crates and three lamps were the rest of it. I had purchased a television hung on one wall mostly for guests who visited me after my wife’s death and I had also bought an internet connection at that time.  The TV was mostly off now, as I hardly ever watched it.

Raven looked around the room which was clean and functional and she looked at the reading chair and the sectional but then smiled and took a seat, crossing her legs in one part of the sectional right across from the reading chair.  I smiled and sat down in the reading chair.  In the pale light, I can pull off the old wise wizard in his throne look when I sit in it.  In my black t-shirt, jeans and socks probably not so much. Raven spoke first.

“Spartan.”

“Yeah, I am a minimalist, so if I don’t use it or it doesn’t give me joy, I don’t usually keep it.”

“I see.  Edward…”

“OK.  Let’s get one thing clear.  There are only certain people who can call me Edward.”

“Oh, sorry. I am not trying to offend you.”

“I know but I want that established.  Only my grandmas, who are both dead, my mother and my former love interests can call me Edward. With my wife dead, that leaves three people – all women and you are not one of them.  Call me Ed.”

“Is one of them Lunette?”

“Yes.”

“Then the other would be..”

“Don’t say her name.”

“OK, like I said I am here to negotiate, not offend you.”

“Negotiate? If you are walking around and the Council is not after you, then you are connected to a House or a mystical being like a pixie or elf or other magical creature.  You’re an elf, your grey troll friend is well a troll and then Alex must be…”

“House Saturn.”

“Well Shit.  So why isn’t he coming after my ass?”

“Because we also represent a group of revolutionaries.”

“Revolutionaries?”

“Yes, we want to abolish the house system and the Council.  Free up the practice of magic to everyone who wants to do so.”

“Singing my song.  That said, let’s say I am a suspicious person and I don’t believe you for a second.  Because I am a suspicious person and I don’t believe you for a second.”

“That would be wise and you don’t have to yet, Ed.  We expect people to be skeptical.  Hopefully you will give us a chance to prove ourselves. The fact is once we recognized you, we realized you could make a powerful addition to our organization. Even Grumn saw the need to forgive you for the burns.  You’re very powerful, that’s why the Council fears you so much.”

What followed this was a ten minute conversation.  What I gleaned was that dissatisfaction with the Houses and the Council had been growing for a few decades. I of course am still skeptical of overthrow because I know they have survived for a couple of millennia.  I also gleaned that I was indeed behind the pixie lines which made me a little safer from the Council but not completely.  The Pixies were having trouble holding the line because the local grove was not supportive.  They might have to retreat.

“In any case Ed, the Council would think quite a bit before they came after you.  You scare the hell out of them. It’s bad enough you can do two schools of magic with expertise but throw in a third one at good level and they wet their pants.  Top it all off with the fact those first two are abjuration and evocation.  Shit, that makes you a Battle Mage.  There hasn’t been a genuine Battle Mage in any of the houses for well over two hundred years.  Add in Divination and they think you have eyes on the back of your head. In short, they don’t want to lose a bunch of mages to take you out. They know what you did to House Mars and House Venus and you did that as a teenager; so they bide their time and wait.”

“Well, fuck ’em. Listen, I get all that. Which is why me openly backing your revolution might be just the motivation to spend those mages’ lives to kill me.  The Death Angels failed and now my wards include protection against necromancy, so they are not going to be have an easy target.  If I join a group and give up my solitary introverted life, they might think it is time to take me out.”

“You have a point, but with the group you would have resources and allies. Something you don’t have right now.”

“I have Lunette.”

Raven sighed.

“Do you?  She is an outcast with the pixies and the mages don’t trust her either. Hell they want her dead. I have the wanted poster hanging on my board back at the office and it’s fairly clear the money is the same dead or alive. It’s also a lot of money. You might ask what she is up to and consider she might need you more than you need her.”

I frowned, but remained silent. She stood up and told me she had to get back to the office.  She wanted me to think about what she said.

“You know Raven, I want to violate a rule I have about asking women their weight and age but…”

“115 pounds and 54 years old. Elves live on average five times as long as humans.  I am half-elven so probably three times as long.  Physically I am roughly eighteen human years old.”

“Oh, well that explains it.  So it’s easier to pass yourself off as a teenager with the goth thing?”

“No, I just like black and being goth allows me to wear a lot of black.”

I laughed, she smiled at me and I showed her to the door. I locked it behind her.  She had been true to her word and not cast a spell.  Well except the one her hips made as she walked up the stairs anyway.  She had given me a lot to think about and a few questions to ask Lunette the next time I saw her.  Hopefully, I will see her soon. Definitely an interesting day.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – No, I Don’t Want a Man Cave – I Want a Study

Happy Tyr’s Day

This is another week where doing a proper Of Wolves and Ravens is going to be too difficult so you get a Rabyd Skald instead. Mostly I just want to touch base a little about things without a real format or order and I want to talk about one thing I definitely want as far as where I live someday.

I would say The Grey and I have our moments.  I just have the defense of having school work to do to combat it.  I keep busy and that is the main thing.  I have a couple of days off from work but they will be filled with writing a paper. I don’t know if it will be my last one, but I suspect it might be the best one I have done for school.

School may be an issue as far as financing.  I don’t think my internship is going to be a paid one although I think I can do it online so I won’t have to travel to campus.  The issue becomes financial aid will not cover something part-time like that as it is only four credits.  I would have to basically attend full-time for another semester in order to pay for the internship.  Full time requires at least 12 credits so I would have to pick up about three classes.  I would need them all to be online and probably 100 or 200 level so I can finish with some extra skills.

My wife and I finished our last counseling session with our counselor as he is heading to Guam.  We are kind of discussing whether or not we need further counseling as a couple. The last session was a good one and the counselor thinks we have made progress and that we could go forward without it being a necessity.  I still would like some counseling for me but I don’t know if we can afford it right now. Maybe if I get a better job with some decent insurance I can consider it.

One thing my future vision of my life must contain is a study.  I don’t want a man cave although my study might have man cave elements like a wet bar and maybe a classic pin-up on the wall.  For me this is more about having a place for intellectual and creative pursuit with a masculine feel to it. I need a place like that to retreat to when the world gets too much. A place to read, study, write, relax and meditate.

Well, need to get to work on school stuff so I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Paleo Nutritional Planning Winter 2018-19

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

One of my goals is to be in the best shape possible by my Birthday so I can take some progress pictures.  That would be March 18th, 2019.  I will be 50.  There is something about these birthdays where the first number and last number both change.  I mean ten was probably where I first became aware of abstract thought and started to find girls far more interesting.  Twenty I went from being single to married and started my first round of college.  Thirty was a year where I became ordained as a minster and became pastor of my first church.  Forty was the year I started my last church.  Now I approach fifty and it truly is a milestone.

I will be finished with school and very close to the end of my internship.  I will be hopefully starting a new career with a new job.  2019 is truly going to not just be a new chapter in my life but in truth a whole new part to the story. I want part of that to be able to stand naked in front of the mirror on March 18th, 2019 and say: ‘Damn Ed, you look really good for fifty.”

The biggest part of that happening is going to involve nutrition.  I lift weights and walk/hike and that is important, but it is nutrition that not only gets results but allows you to keep them.  It is about lifestyle choice that leads to a better life, not just a better body.

Philosophically, I know that plans that involve meal planning, counting calories and points do not work for me.  I have said it before I do the best when I can control what I eat and when I eat it.  What has worked so far is a combination of Paleo and Intermittent Fasting.  The issue right now is to train myself to make that even more discipline and tighter as I get closer to my birthday.  After that finding a basic patterns that works and keeps working will be the goal. The details of this plan will be below in nutrition section but my basic idea is to slowly drop the number of carbs sources I can eat a day and the number of cheat meals a week. The four weeks leading up to my birthday both of these will be very low; if they exist at all.

Couple this with intermittent fasting and you get a powerful combo that so far has dropped my weight probably fifty pounds since May.  I don’t really go by weight though as my basic test of how I feel and look to me is the naked in front of the mirror test.  If I can look in the mirror and feel proud of what I have accomplished and my wife is giving me bedroom eyes, then I will have considered it a breakthrough.  Then it will be about maintaining it into the future.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Nutrition is simply one of those areas I am trying to apply more discipline.  To be harder on myself, so greater things can be achieved.  My homework and study time right now is tight with this as well, but I take comfort in the fact there is less than three weeks to go and the last half of December is pretty much going to be chill time.  I will still be working in retail, so it won’t be completely relaxing until after January 1st.  I just won’t have three major things to work on, just two. I will probably use the extra time to start disciplining myself toward attaining some other things on my list of goals and the bucket list.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Shit.  I look back at 2018 and marvel how many times I was knocked down and got up.  I am not talking simple knockdowns either but full on flat on your ass knockdowns where you slide from the force of the blow for twenty feet.  Where you lay there gasping for breath wondering if you are going to live knockdowns.  I got up from all of them and I still am shaking my head about it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think the biggest realization I have had this week is how much I now distrust people when they say they are my friend or want to be my friend.  I can tell I am still skeptical of this. Only people who proved my friend during this year do I seem to trust without question, and even then I wonder very slightly from time to time.

I really do need a new small local circle from a social point of view, but like I told the counselor on Tuesday, I probably will have to look at my new career to find those people. My hope for starting a new support group of some kind might be an avenue as well.  The one thing I don’t trust is old wells that have no water – the church or friends who disappeared when things got tough.

At the same time, I kind of marvel at my wife’s forgiveness and loyalty to me.  She has no reason to be. None.  I guess she loves me.  I probably should follow her example and give some people a second chance.  Some, but not all that’s for damn sure. Being led astray by others about me is one thing.  Being a person who straight up abused my trust and betrayed me is another.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

This week has been more about school than anything else.  What this has done is limited trips to the gym and school oddly as class has not been something I need to attend on a couple of occasions. Walking and lifting will not reach their goals this week as I am hitting the books instead.

The gym situation is coming to a head as I will no longer need to travel to the city where my gym currently is as often.  Plus, it looks very much like my gym will close soon.  That means changing gyms closer to where I work now. Once that happens, training will take on more importance.

Nutrition:

Paleo Diet means I avoid carb sources of foods like the plague.  I have pretty much eliminated pasta.  What I need to do is slowly wean myself off them pretty much altogether.  Part of this is re-educating myself on what I can eat and eating more of it.

The intermittent fasting basically will go like this.  I eat breakfast then fast until eight hours later, then I can eat until I go to bed. At first this will be weeks that start with an even-numbered Sundays.  Four weeks out from March 18th, 2019 it will be all the time.

The two things that will be added are a weekly check list of cheat meals where when I have one I check one cheat meal off and when I have used them all for the week, I can’t do any more.  The other thing I will add is a daily carb food source check list.  I want to basically start shrinking both down every week or two.  The goal the last month is to have no carbs at all daily and one cheat meal per week.

December 2nd – December 22nd: Weekly Cheat Meals: 5  Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 5

December 23rd – January 5th: Cheat Meals: 4; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 4

January 6th – January 19th: Cheat Meals: 3; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 3

January 20th – February 2nd: Cheat Meals: 2; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 2

February 3rd – February 16th: Cheat Meals: 1; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 1

February 17th – March 18th – Cheat Meals: 0 (special occasions only), Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 0 – I will actually extend this out for the rest of the week but the goal is my birthday which is a Monday.

Of course extra cheat meals are allowed for special occasions:  Birthdays and holidays.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t feel to bad in this area.  I did come to the conclusion this week that I will feel a great deal better as far as Courage, Honor and Truth once my degree is finished.  Still work to do, but I feel much better.

Business – Things are coming to a head, graduation, internship and new job search,  I have a feeling my hard work is going to start paying off. Prosperity with purpose is getting closer.

Self – I feel the best about this area. Have for a long time.  This week particularly.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!