Foundational Virtues

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – INFJ and Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

My personality type is INFJ-A.  If you are familiar with Meyers-Briggs you know that means I am and Introverted, Intuitive, Feelings oriented, Judging type of person with a A on the end for being slightly assertive.  Sometime called the advocate or protector. Now over the years I have changed in my personality indicating to me that events of life can change personality.

I want to look this week at the Higher Virtues and the Nine Noble Virtues in relationship to my personality type to see if I can find any insight into myself. Today I will talk about Love (Romantic Love in particular) and the other Foundational Virtues related to my personality,  I will hit other subjects as the week goes on.

There are lot general things I could see but the thing that sticks out to me about myself when it comes to love, is that when I share with you my inner self, it is because I believe you will never hurt me. I have missed judged this many times and I have paid a price for it. I also am struck with how once I have loved or had a strong friendship with someone I never forget it.  Love is tough for me, because I bear the joys and scars from it for long time.  When someone I trust my inner feelings to betrays or breaks that trust in some other way, it is devastating.  The hurt is long-term and never completely goes away.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

This is the second week in a row that I have struggled with honor.  I don’t know why or how to get over it.  I think getting back to lifting helped but I think I need that long walk yet and the weather has sucked. I think my personality might have problems me loving me. Am I actually reaching the point where I am trying to learn to trust myself again after failing myself?  That would be very INFJ.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Courage as a part of love is difficult.  It is one of the reasons I came back to my wife and continue to struggle with rebuilding the relationship.  In my mind actually we are building something new that is better, because the old was not that great. It’s the right thing to do even though when I was considering reconciling I struggled with what I would have to give up – opportunity for something new – in order to reconcile.  Love require work – courageous work at times.  For me as a INFJ, I perceive how deep that is and why I gravitate toward it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Truth in Love.  In the Bible Love rejoices in the truth and I would say that is a solid statement.  The real problem last year with me and love is that even though I trusted in love both on the friendship side and the romantic side. The truth I couldn’t see, but should have known on my INFJ side, is that it might be true that the other side of those relationships was not feeling the love I felt at the same level. That truth, which I didn’t see, bit me in the ass.

One of the things in my recent taking of the personality test is a significant change in my introverted level.  It indicates that from this year to last year I have moved to be more introverted  75% to 94% which is pretty significant.  Truth is, my trust level of others has been pretty damaged by this whole thing. Something I might take a long time to get over as an INFJ.

Higher Virtue: Love:

People should come up to my wife and give her a big hug and tell her what a great person.  She is because of a lot of love factors. 1) Of all the people I hurt during this crisis, she had the most reason to tell me to fuck off and not come back.  But instead she did two things.  She acknowledge to me her part in the failure of our marriage and she forgave me for mine.  I started loving her anew at that moment. 2) Without her I wouldn’t have any reason to completely trust anyone other than maybe one last friend and that would have meant a lot of really bad things for me. Like dark angry shit. Without love, I think we INFJ types get mean.  Because we expect much, we get disappointed hard when love fails and that leads to some pretty extreme reactions.

My wife’s love is definitely one of only two close relationships right now that I would consider proof of my trust in other people. The rest have all been damaged because it is apparent to me with most of them the statement they claim as Christians – ‘love bears no record of wrongs’ on a practical level is bullshit. They don’t really believe it or practice it. Wish they did.  For me I gave my trust and love to some wrong people and they turned their backs on me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid, no complaints.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Epic Struggle (Part 1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In Norse Mythology Loki has three children with a giantess who, as one would expect are not exactly nice children.  They are Fenrir, Jormungand and Hel.  Fenrir is the wolf that will swallow Odin.  Jormungand is the serpent who will be both defeated by Thor and be Thor’s demise.  Hel is the Ruler of Helheim and the end ruler of all people who die of natural causes. This week I am going to talk about the epic struggle I am having and use all of these as metaphors.

Fenrir is the wolf that will end it all at Ragnarok.  He will swallow both Odin and the Sun according to the mythology and end what was to change it into something new.  He is the wild foundation of nature kept now in invisible chains until he gets loose and destroys that which gives all life (the sun) and destroys all knowledge, reason and strength. (Odin).

My Fenrir is that which would cause me to compromise my inner sense of value, to act in fear or lie to protect myself.  Fenrir represents the forces of my life that would cause me to compromise my foundation.  Something I cannot afford to do.  To keep him in his chains and prevent him, from a long a possible, doing so is my goal with my Foundational Virtues.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I have struggled with Honor the past few days.  I am starting to get frustrated as to how little is happening in my life right now. The fact is this blog and doing the necessary things in life are difficult for me.  I don’t like my mental state right now about myself or my future. Fenrir threatens to engulf me. I cannot let that happen.

The blog continues to be my way of keeping to the path more than anything else.  I have found that there is an honor in creation and the discipline if sitting down to write every day keeps things remotely focused at least.  I want to get back walking and training for that long hike too.  I need more tools in my box to fight The Grey.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Courage is not as great a problem as Honor.  I feel like though Perseverance and Courage are overlapping right now.  I keep getting up, doing what I need to do each day, hoping it will get better. I am not sure sometimes if my getting up every morning is and act of courage, perseverance or both some days. The thing I am determined to do is outlast my own personal Fenrir.  The Valkyries can have me but not him.  I will work very hard to never be afraid of him.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I find myself silent a lot. Nuff’ Said.

I have written down many ideas for my non-fiction book.  The problem is the one theme that comes up over and over again is to write a book about religion and what a fraud it is. I also find the Nine Noble Virtues as a theme. I don’t know if either one of these is valid.  I am trying to be respectful of people who are religious, but at the same time I the fraud and bullshit of it all should be confronted and boy could I do that job. Particularly with Christianity.

Latin is probably going to have to be reserved for a three times a week thing on the weekly routine.  It takes up a lot of time than I expected but I have enjoyed the opening thoughts behind why I should learn Latin.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I am writing on Love tomorrow for Of Wolves and Ravens.  I will save most of my thoughts until then.  Love though is keeping me going right now at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This is working well,  I had no problems with it this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Walking On

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Happy April Fools.  That said you won’t get an April fools joke from me. I prefer a more traditional approach to All Fool’s Day.  Everything backwards or upside down.  Next year this will be my day to do something out of character and do something truly risk taking.  Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Go to a nudist resort, etc.  Something where I throw the virtues to the wind for one day and live life a little risky. Something where the socially unacceptable becomes normal for one day.  I have a year to plan it so this should be interesting.

This year, however, today marks the second day of my ‘walking on’  I have realigned my compass, taken a look at my map and conformed a more clear route and I am now taking steps on it. Journey of Life resumed.

Implementing everything is going to probably take the entire week to really get going.  I have tested the morning routine and it is solid like before. Now I have three days off from work from Tuesday to Thursday where I plan on implementing the rest. The problem of course with it is things need to be set up for some things to be routine. Learning Latin. for instance needs a little work to decided how to proceed step by step o the days off will allow me to do that. By the end of the week I should have all of that done and be moving forward.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I feel valued these days at work and by the few friends I have left. I feel positive about my future. I sometimes struggle with myself.  Throwing off the whole light verses darkness thing and just being a man walking in life as a human being has been a difficult but necessary transition.  It is also one where I feel far more at peace.

The daily blogging hits a half a year with this post. A milestone for which I am giving no fanfare. Half a year to go. To be ready for the hiking trip is going to require training and acquiring some gear. Planning and scheduling.  My walks at least three days a week are the first steps.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The concept of fear being a choice has changed a lot of things for me. Danger is a real thing but fear is a reaction that can be controlled. I have a lot of things to do that will require courage in the next few months so I need to keep making these choices.

I did make one change to the goal here to make it one a year for the bucket list as many of my bucket list items are now more long-term goals. I actually have two that need to be completed by next year at this same time so this should be easy.  Hungary and Budapest awaits, but it will probably be a few years yet.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Honesty is really not my problem.  Bluntness is. I am glad I added the part about learning to be silent in the presence of Fools.  I find myself getting involved in less and less social media discussions. If it wasn’t for writing and memes I might not be involved at all anymore.

The writing schedule will be two days a week on the non fiction book (because it is a goal) and one day on the novel (because it is a bucket list item).  I had to dust off the Latin books and read the “How to do this’ section but I am starting to take baby steps.

Higher Virtue: Love:

When comes to Truth, Courage and Honor, I am definitely adding the notion of love here as I ask how these three express love all the time. It is a guiding virtue for me in these regards.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Love this now. It allows me to use the beginning of the day to think, plan an prepare. Not hard at all.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Truth

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

As I wrap up this realignment process and head into the final week, there still remains a lot to be done. This week I have to realign Truth, Hospitality and Fidelity.  Some of the tougher ones and the problem at this point is that there is not enough left on the bucket list or my list of goals and so some thing are going to have to be created along those lines.

In addition, my Morning, Daily and Weekly Routines need to be modified so that there are things on them that work toward achieving my goals and advancing toward crossing things off the bucket list.  I have made the decision to drop the Evening Routine. All I will basically do in the evening is brush my teeth and go to bed. Some of the things on it will be moved to the other Routines. I will be doing a special The Rabyd Skald post on Saturday to talk about the Routines specifically to handle that.

Things kick off on the 31st of this month so it is crunch time.

Truth is one of the virtues that has been troubling and difficult this past year. I have pretty passive about it as basically my principle was to simply pursue truth and discover it.  But this is not the focus of the virtue.  Rather it is about proclamation.  Something that as a former preacher I understand better than most. So time to change a few things.

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

The virtue as always is not the problem.  It’s application of it that is the problem.

Principle: To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

I use the word ‘Speak’ in the broadest sense of the word. To communicate with effectiveness has been a large challenge I have accepted in most areas of my life.  Effective communication is here but what is communicated is Truth. The form of communication does not matter – written, oral or other.  The issue is Truth being communicated effectively.  There is also learning when to be Silent.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

This goal is still probably not specific enough so I may further refine it a bit later.  The point is if I am going to proclaim truth on a larger level; than I have been recently, I need a platform to proclaim it from.  I am no longer a preacher but maybe down the road being a motivational speaker or life coach, but until then I need to know what my message is going to be and the focus of this first non-fiction book may very well be creating that message.  Starting now on a year-long process to create and discover this by writing a book might be the best way forward.

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Trying to add some sense of SMART to my bucket list items as well.  The biggest things I need in my life it seems are deadlines.  They keep me moving.  I haven’t dropped learning Hungarian just delayed it a year.  I will probably work on that 2020 to 2021 as my planned trip to Budapest will probably not be for a few years. This Bucket List Item may always be learning a language or a skill I want to just learn.  After Latin and Hungarian I might want to learn cooking or something.  These are the kind of Bucket List items that fit truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Just so people know when this post drops the blog streak will be nearing the half way point.  Yesterday the 200th post dropped on this blog. I would say we have gotten past the start and infant stage.

I really feel Honor is something I can now achieve and this realignment has really help me have a better sense of vision for my life which will lead to a better sense of being positive about my future. Which lead to a better sense of Honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

This Virtue now keeps me focused on the hard issues of achieving my goals.  It forces me to act and pursue them. That’s a good thing.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

Last summer  was writing a blog called The Rabyd Microphone.  Don’t look for it. It’s been deleted.  The one thing about that blog that I absolutely insisted on was it was going to be raw truth.  People didn’t like it because there was one element about truth that I have now come to understand – If people are fools or don’t want to accept it – they will just get angry. So this blog is also committed to truth.  There is one difference, I now ask myself what good will done by stating the Truth and who will listen? In short, is my potential audience fools? If so, then I just keep some things to myself.

I like the changes here – gives me some things to shoot for.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth – Love in action.  I just need to identify what is worthy of my  love and act accordingly and things go right. When I don’t, things go wrong.  In know that seems overly simple, but it works.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I will be doing a special post on Saturday where my Routines will be Realigned according to all these changes.  The goal there is to take each bucket list item and goal and ask what part of any routine is working toward it. This really the final part of the overall realignment.  This means even though this Routine works the best, it might have some changes as far as addition.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Courage

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

There will be a The Rabyd Skald Birthday post dropped at 12:39 pm today – I have my reasons for that time as I will talk about later. Right now I will doing what needs to be done for the week as I continue my realignment.

I spent the weekend thinking about this realignment a lot. One of the things that is clear to me is that when I discuss a virtues nature and principle. I also need it discuss the goal and bucket list item associated with it as well. Because both my goals and bucket list are in full revision mode, I can do this very easily now by tweaking my journal entries in A Skald’s Life very easily.

What this means on a practical side is in each A Skald’s Life post when i get to the virtues I will now add the Goal associated with that virtue and then the bucket list item so all four things can be discussed at that point.  By keeping them together I can look at the bigger picture of each virtue.

This weeks virtues are Courage, Industriousness and Perseverance.  I have feelings about each of these and in truth, most of it is positive.   For most of this week it is goals becoming SMART and bucket list items becoming aligned. I am trying to get off to a great start to my 51st year of life, so I am trying to make this a complete week.

On to Dealing with Courage’s Realignment

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

I have always admired the brevity of this one and how quickly it sums up what is needed – good stuff

Principle: Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here.  I like it and I think it does the job.  In moments when courage is needed you need a principle that doesn’t require a lot of meditation or thought and this does that with good results so far.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

I need something that motivates me forward.  This goal is something I wanted to keep on my goal list so the bucket list gets constantly accomplished. So that it has items crossed off on a regular basis.  Courage required to do that.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I find travel requires a little courage, international travel more so because you are facing language and cultural barriers. It definitely takes you out of your comfort zone. I think the complete package for me on this one is to do a Viking River cruise down the Danube River to Budapest.  Stay there a week and then return up the river and back home.  It would be a great adventure and something that is a reward for and an act of courage in and of itself.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When I look at the whole thing right now I see what I am driving at with honor. It is a feeling for me of self-worth and future optimism.  All of this seems to flow much better now that I see it together.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

The big stuff is here.  The stuff that will require major amounts of courage.  I like that and it is a good big picture.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I have a feeling the Principle on this one will get rewritten.  Goal might be clear and the bucket list too.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find it amazing to me that as I look at it how much travel factors into my plans. I love to travel, I just don’t have the means most of the time.  I also think much of love is expressed in what you travel too and who you travel with. It also fits that The Grey Wayfarer’s foundational ideas are travel after all.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Doing well here. I said it before – it isn’t broke, so I am not going to fix it.

Bucket List:

  1. Get My Tattoos.
  2. Write My Novel.
  3. Learn Latin.
  4. Learn Hungarian.
  5. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Yes, it is getting shorter.  As I incorporate these things into the virtues and full bucket list is going to disappear.  I think lists are valuable but I don’t think the bucket list gets properly addressed for me this way.

I know the tattoos one will be modified and connected with Perseverance later this week. Languages will be combined and put with Truth – maybe. Novel – hmm.  Need to think on what is left but perhaps Industriousness.  The weightlifting thing I may drop because I am not a power lifter.  I think something else might be needed, so opening up a slot helps with that.

Weightlifting:

This will be the last time you see this here.  I will be moving it to Self to be with Perseverance and my exercise program will have weightlifting as part of it. I need to find a way to turn this from frustration to success and I think moving it and strongly connecting it to a virtue will help with that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Honor

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The next three weeks are about aligning my virtues to principles; principles to goals and goals to bucket list.  Also there are the Routines that will need to be altered as I go along to reflect any changes.  There are going to be changes. So for the next nine A Skald’s Life posts, I am going to be engaged in this process of realignment. To do this I am going to state the Virtue and the edit the principle involved, then edit, recreate or create the goal and bucket list items that go with the virtue and principle.

Once this process is complete for each virtue, you should see the changes reflected in the future A Skald’s Life posts.  I also have Routines to alter as a go along which will reflect this.  My meditation guide I use will be changed.  There are odd ducks like Weightlifting and Nutrition.  This is why I chose a longer and more thoughtful route. If only the first Virtue wasn’t one of the most difficult. Honor.

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

I will not alter this virtue as I think it is very solidly written and I have no confusion in understanding it. As I created the principle to guide this last time, the challenge was thinking positively about myself and my future.  I simply stated the Principle as: “Be positive about my future”.  I am not sure this lines up anymore.  True, honor involves looking at yourself in the mirror in a positive light but there is more to it than just being positive but it is central to honor. The goal needs to reflect this as well as the bucket list item.

Principle: To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

I look at the goal list and really I can’t find anything that relates directly to honor.  Other than to look at the goal of blogging every day for a year. Why?  Because as I look at the central element of honor it is to possess it continually and that involves a journey and this blog is about my journey as The Grey Wayfarer.  It is the closest of the current goals without rewriting them.  I suppose in many respects this journey I am on has Honor as central to it purpose.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

One of the first observations I can make about my bucket list is there is some repetition. Part of the goal will be to edit it in such a way as to eliminate that.  That said, if the journey is about honor then there is a current item on my list that fits and would not only be a cool thing to do but quite symbolic as well.

Bucket List Item: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

If part of my quest for honor is the journey then a bucket list item that is about a journey seems to fit and would probably when I do it be very symbolic of getting to a certain point where I feel honor is being achieved.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others. ‘

The principle is a little longer but it is the complicated subject of honor. My constant journey toward it is chronicled in this blog and the bucket list item now has a goal that is symbolic and something I really want to do. No when i meditate on Honor, the goal and bucket list item will motivate me a little better.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Of all my virtues and principles, I feel when I get to this one, I will find I will edit this one the least. The concern here is the goal and bucket list.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I think the principle here will need a major revision. The goal might be clearer as well as the bucket list item actually unless the revision of the Principle changes it.  For me educating yourself whether formally or informally is about the quest for truth. So right now it might be about finishing my degree and learning a language. Learning a language might fit here as it is symbolic of education and learning truth.  Latin would probably fit best the notion of being a scholar and symbolize this Virtue the best.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth all need to be aligned with love.  But in this case by pursuing these three, I think love will be woven like a tapestry from these three threads. There is a symbiotic relationship I am looking for her where love is expressed in Honor toward myself, acts of Courage for the ones I love and Truth toward others. This new alignment should make the higher virtue of Love clearer and more easily expressed.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I don’t anticipate any changes here at all.  Except as the Principles, Goals and Bucket List change, my review and meditation will shift in focus and nature.

Bucket List:

  1. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  2. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  3. Get My Tattoos.
  4. Actually Get Drunk.
  5. Smoke a Joint.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Ass March goes on, I will change this every week. Mostly you will see items shift position to line up with their virtue as the hike goal is now number 1.  As I said before, I see some repetition of idea.  Learning Latin and Hungarian could be merged.  Getting Drunk and Smoking a Joint could be merged.   This would open it up for a few new items and that requires me to sit back and ask: “What do I want to do?”  This might be the fun element of this realignment and it is probably the thing that excites me most about this process right now.

Weightlifting:

I need to get a job that pays better so that I can know where I am going to be for the foreseeable future so I can join a gym and afford it.  In the meantime, I am thinking a couple 25 lbs. dumbbells might be a good investment as I can do a lot of things with them at home.  Walking is going to be available as Spring actually springs too. The thought of getting physically active again excites me and I know is one of my major defenses against The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Reworking the Script

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

I have spent from February 22nd to March 2nd off script.  What that means is I didn’t use my paper journal to keep track of things or remind myself of the things I need to do each day and for the week. I did it on purpose, knowing I would come off of it on March 3rd.  The purpose was to see what is habit in my life,what needs work and what things would simply not get done without the script. I have done this several times in my life and I find the truest test if something has become a habit, is that you don’t need a reminder to do it.

The ultimate purpose is to look at everything and then rework the script in such a way as to be more effective and efficient in achieving my goals.  To find the weaknesses and use my discovered strengths to achieve them.  To find ways, to get more things done with less time.  Mostly though it is a test of character to see how much laziness and procrastination needs to be overcome.

March is my birthday month and in our family we tend to kind of get excited about all the birthdays that month and we have three in the immediate family (My granddaughter, myself and my mother).  There is also the concept of the birthday week where people can up to the time of a person’s birthday for a week and do whatever to let them know how much they are loved and celebrate it. It is not uncommon for their to be more than one party especially for the kids. Then of course there is the birthday itself. The person in my mind basically gets to do what they want (within reason as you are still not allowed to be an asshole or bitch) and gets to enjoy what they enjoy that day.

For me this is a particularity interesting month and my birthday will be number 50.  I always have a little harder time with those birthdays where there is a zero on the end of double digits. This affects my reworking the script in the sense that I have this feeling of change and direction shift that needs to be addressed. So this entire month is reevaluation of Goals, Bucket List, Principles, Routines and Life in general.  I do this regularly, but this Month of March 2019 seems particularly like a critical moment in time for me. It is time to revise and refine the script of my life and make it work better.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

One of the things I will be revising is each principle following each virtue.  I will at least be reconsidering it.  I created all these principle in haste out of necessity, and I think they deserve some real contemplative time.   Some of them are going to stay the same, but I want to be open to changing them.  I want to be open to the notion of realigning everything so it is more efficient.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Change is always difficult, but also if there is one constant to the universe, it is that it is constantly changing.  Wisdom says it is wise to change and adapt to it. Courage is needed to do so.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

This is one virtue and principle that don’t seem to line up as well as they could.  The problem with this one is to keep the principle short and to the point while at the same time encapsulating the essence of the virtue.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have thought about giving principles to these higher virtues but I think I reject that notion because I think Love, Justice and wisdom are far to deep concepts to define them to that point.  I just want to sit down when I write these journal posts withe the single word in my mind and then write.  All of them are multifaceted gems and so trying to sharpen them I feel would make them less than what they are.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I really don’t see the need to change this routine.  It works and it is the most consistent I have. ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, was one of my father’s favorite sayings.  The Morning Routine definitely fits that very well.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This concept of realignment is coming up often in my thoughts.  The Bucket list is one of those things that might see a realignment.  What I mean by this is that each Virtue will have a principle, a goal and a bucket list item that are all aligned.  That all follow the same theme as the virtue. That way I don’t have goals and bucket list items that pull me off-center. Yes, this might be a cause to revise or change some of them, but I don’t have a problem with that, if things start coming off this list more often. If things work from virtue to principle to goal to bucket list, that is efficient and kind of the point of the whole thing in the first place.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting is a powerful desire right now and I know that I need to either get a new job where a gym is a possibility, or start working on some home equipment I can actually store in my apartment. I just need to find a way to prevent going soft until things get better.  I also think part of my anger issues these days is caused by the fact I have no real outlet for that energy.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Higher Calling

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If I struggle with anything  since departing from Christianity, it is my loss of a sense of ‘higher calling’. I mean religion in general feeds into this ego we all have a higher purpose, that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and ‘God loves you, so you are special’ and ‘Everyone has a higher calling’. Since throwing off such notions, I have come to the notion that these things are not the product of simple existence. If I want to have a sense of ‘higher calling’ and want experience a sense of purpose, I have to create it myself. I don’t get these things by the fact my mother gave birth to me.  My existence does not make it so.

The Foundational Virtues really help with this.  I live my life to have a sense of honor.  To do that I must face the truth of things with courage. The Viking notion of living your life bravely at every moment is something I strive for because I can see it is a very ‘realistic’ higher calling.  It is not completely based on the idea of and afterlife, but also the notion of being a better person day by day. That is something I can cling to as a higher calling.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

As I approach my 50th birthday (3 weeks from today), I look back at a half a century of life. Honestly, there has been good, bad and ugly in it. I feel in some respect some of those years were a waste of time. If I want any feeling that day; it is that despite all the bad, ugly and waste of time now.  I have a sense of personal honor within that nothing can shake.  A feeling of a positive future and to see the good in myself and to look positively to what life I have left to live.  To see the good in myself and others around me like my family and my remaining friends would make the last 50 years worth it.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The future for me is an interesting concept.  Whatever end I might face, I want it to be said that I faced it with courage.  To be known as a person who does the right thing always and that is part of my character.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty is a double edge sword.  It cuts through the lies, but it also can cut your own soul at times. If there is a part of my higher purpose to be lived it is to be pursuing what is true.  Trying to be a person that finds it and then uses it to live better.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is a new a different concept to me. It is about honor, courage and truth far more than feelings of calling. Trying to do the honest, brave and respectful thing every time is a challenge, but it is a calling of sorts.  One that I place on myself.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Been pretty much a challenge at times.  Something is going on right now that gets my thoughts racing in a lot of directions when I get up in the morning; it makes it hard to focus even with meditation.  Might be a different form of The Grey.  I just know I need to refocus as I went from hoping I could have a perfect week with this to something far less than I was even doing. First time in a while the morning routine has been a problem. Need to redouble my efforts.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

As I look at this list there are a lot of things that could be done very quickly if I had the monetary resources to do them.  It still keeps coming back to finding a better job and that needs to be a priority along with getting my internship done.

Weightlifting:

This week was one of those week I really missed the iron in my life. I miss the simplicity of doing a deadlift or leg presses.  It was also kind of depressing to think about my old gym being basically gone. I put so much time there, in that place, that was productive and now it’s just a memory.  I need that feeling back of progress and productivity and there was no place like the gym to get it.  I need to either have that or something at home that will do that too.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Path of Virtue

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask me right now what I miss the most, I would say it is walking. Winter sucks to walk in without the proper gear.  I miss the iron of the weights at the gym too, but I miss the simple act of taking an hour our of the day to take a walk. As soon as the snow is gone and the temperature up to a point where I can put on a jacket and take a walk, I will be out there.

Walking for me is very honest metaphor.  I am the Grey Wayfarer and a Wayfarer is one who travels on foot.  I enjoy this simple action more than most people know because living is walking with the occasional stops for enjoying the view or life in general.

My path is in life though is virtue. Finding the right path has not always been easy. I have walked a lot of them.  Christianity was a major one.  Right Now, I would say the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) are a better one.  Why? Because Virtue transcends religion, politics and philosophy, and it is something I have come to discover as I have walked the path.  You can be an honorable person regardless of whether you area Christian or not, whether you are conservative or liberal, or whether or not you believe in eastern or western philosophy.  Virtue is simply working to strengthen that which is best in us as human beings, and that path is something I can gladly walk.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have a sense of honor.  I have really come to understand that this comes from within and not what other people think of me.  That is very important to understand. People do not dictate my sense of personal honor; I develop it within myself.  It makes honor both stronger and in a sense more vulnerable.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here,  I would say my recent travelling through The Grey Storm may have built this a little stronger.  I just need to really use this to put myself out there even more for a job search.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I don’t find this as difficult anymore.  I find myself stay silent a lot but it seems other people have more problems when I speak the truth than I do.  I have discovered that it is so true that people would rather have comforting lies than the truth, that it makes me chuckle at times.  That said, I follow truth because it gives me an advantage.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love of life. This last couple weeks have really challenged that. I guess I can say I owe a few people who I love some credit at times for helping me find my way back to love of life. My wife, children and grand kids all have contributed.  It makes this path easier to walk at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Really working on a full week this week with this complete every single day. I have come close several times, but this week I want the morning Routine to be flawless.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I am going to work on two things,  1) Finding the way to get the money for my first tattoo and 2) writing my novel.  I have until the end of June to get one or the other of these done.

Weightlifting:

I think the best plan right now is to get some dumbbells and come up with routines with those i can do at home.  It might be a high rep, three set thing for some exercises but I need to do something to make sure my muscles stay toned at least.  Once I get a better paying job, gym membership and other things get back on the table.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Storm

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask what is the most difficult thing for me right now it is to be positive about my future. This is an essential element to my understanding of personal honor. The reason is that the past right now, and memories of it, are very strong.  February last year is the time when things really started to go off course and I ended up in some very stormy seas because of it, all the way to the end of summer. I unfortunately has a dream Tuesday of last week that kind of supercharged all that because there were two people in that dream that were center stage to all that. Both of which hurt me pretty badly, and both of which I now regret ever being involved with in the first place. I also have my own demons from my own actions that were not in line with what I would consider good virtue.  MY introspective moments seem to lead to the following observation.

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The real need right now is to look to the horizon and see my course. The drag on that is the storm of The Grey, memories, self battles and negative feelings about last year.  I am trying very hard to look at this as phantom storm because it is really not there; but at the same time, it is. The cold reality sometimes is that some memories never fade and some scars never completely heal. I will probably carry some of this the rest of my life.  My hope is to find a way to adapt and see past it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor.  It’s a difficult word because it very much involves looking toward the future with a positive eye.  I am doing that positive part more as a matter of discipline than feelings right now. That makes the honor thing a little shaky because I don’t feel honorable.  But honor, the real stuff is a little deeper than feelings. I need to remember that more and more.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

There is some truth to the idea that on some days courage might be displayed in the fact that I get up and face the day. Getting out of bed a couple of times last week was the most courageous thing I did. Mostly though I am finally seeing that some days are just a grind and I need to just move and keep walking.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is I am at that point where things are just work.  Not the good kind of work either. It is just the day-to-day of doing what I need to do with that numbness that accompanies The Grey.  The reason I hate this is it reminds me so much of how I felt just a year ago as I would saddle up every morning on Sunday and go to preach.  I hate that feeling, but the only remedy I have found is to keep doing what needs to be done and wait for it to fade. I just don’t know how long that is going to be given the memories are pretty strong that keep stirring things up.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I have one thing that seems to light my way these days – Love.  I love my wife and I am working very hard to show that as much as possible. At the same time I fear that I am doing things purely to make up for what happened last year; out of guilt, and that is really not the kind of love I want to express.  More of a love that is new and fresh.  A new horizon kind of love.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Pretty good.  It is hard to develop new habits, but my best bet for doing so is in the morning. It also has been providing motivation to get up every morning; and once I am started, I don’t seem to have trouble in keeping going.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I need to reassess what is possible by July.  But these things could be the kind of things that pull me out of the Storm.  One victory here might be the key to having the summer not be so draining.

Weightlifting:

It is these kind of emotional moments that make me miss the gym and my iron.  The iron never is anything but what it is. I miss the consistency of it.  I really hope i find a new job soon and that it is close to a new gym.  In the meantime, I am thinking a few dumbbells and a simple folding bench might be my answer so I don’t go completely soft.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!