Happy Tyr’s Day
This week hasn’t been too bad as far as The Grey. The most specific thing I have to watch is my relationships because I may be negatively affecting them without intending to do so. I have never had a problem focusing on work or going to work with the Grey. It just makes some of my relationship issues more difficult. In fact, work is often a welcome thing as it helps me move along through it.
Right now I have an itch I need to scratch and it involves boarding the ship and sailing somewhere else and starting over. Finding out what is over the horizon line is a big thing in my heart right now. What is the uncharted territory for me personally?
To be honest part of this is the excitement of starting over but a good part of it is the hatred I am starting to develop for where I am now. I hate not being able to trust anyone. Being reminded at every turn what I used to be and what I did is not a comfortable situation for me. I am no longer the cowering lamb but rather a raging wolf and I need to find a new pack and take the lead.
There are some problems with just picking up and leaving.
- Family – kids and grandkids are nearby right now but we wouldn’t be the first family separated by a distance that made it work and technology is such that we can keep very much in touch.
- My wife – I would be pulling her from her support system. The rest is between me and her. It is, however, the concern of mine I have the most.
- Fear – yeah, tired of being afraid and not trying something new. Playing it safe has gotten me nowhere so far.
There are those advantages of starting over:
- The chances I would run into someone I really would rather not run into diminishes significantly.
- The opportunities become much greater and multifaceted. I can follow my heart.
- Courage – Yeah, one of my virtues actually acted upon. Yeah, that works.
- Where I want to go ha a warmer climate and a lot more people. That second part might seem like a downside to an introvert, but it means I can probably find a new crop of friends easier. The first part means more sunshine and that helps with The Grey.
- O need a major change or I am going to have a repr=eat performance of last year. I don’t want that, so time to move on. Time to hit the uncharted territory and get on with my life.
What remains is figuring out how to do it. That, however, is just the details and the packing list for the hold so to speak. What matters to me is the vision I have of being in the bow of the ship, sword in hand and ready for something else to conquer.
This will be the only post today. I have other things to attend to today and I need some time to work ahead anyway. But noted more things are coming, especially if I feel better from all this Grey because I am moving.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.