Month: February 2019

Of Wolves and Ravens: Discipline – Pain Becoming Strength

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I suppose life is full of strange ironies.  One of them is that you don’t get stronger unless you go through a little pain. Discipline as Virtue is something I have long practiced in certain regards, but until I started following the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), I never really covered all of its facets.  Mostly that if you want growth or more strength, endurance, etc., it is probably going to take some form of discipline to make it happen. You can’t get there by just wishful thinking, prayer or vain hope.  It requires discipline.

Over the years personally, I have applied discipline to a lot of areas of my life.  Right now every routine I have created, every goal or list of objectives has some sort of systematic plan to getting there.  Things are not just going to happen, they have to be made to happen and this is particularly true with improvement to one’s self. I come to learn that more and more every day.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I cannot stress the need for discipline enough. Without it the first steps cannot be taken to even achieve any goal that anyone sets for themselves.  I want to a new job right now, so each day I spend some time searching.  I can’t just hope that someone will offer me the perfect job.  I have to go find it.  I have lifted weights for years.  I want a strong, leaned out and healthy body, and I want it to last for as long as possible. I NEED discipline of diet, exercises and the weights to achieve this. Wanting is not enough.  You have to understand what you need to get what you want and that path is often filled with discipline.

Wants (Freki):

I suppose this relationship between need and want is very critical when it comes to discipline. You do have to ask yourself what you want.  What you really want. The test of whether you really want something is whether or not you ware willing to engage in the discipline to get it.  What sacrifices and pain are you willing to go through to get what you want.  When it comes to discipline, the two wolves dance back and forth, and when you figure out the steps to that dance, you make progress.

Reason (Huginn):

Rationally, when you look at the worlds great achievements, there was discipline behind every one of them.  The scientist who had the breakthrough discovery, spending weeks and months in disciplined study before the discovery.  The athlete who sets the world record, a lifetime of disciplined exercise and drill. Etc.  The one thing that reason tells us is that if we are going to reach our goals, discipline is the path we must walk. Then it helps us come up with that plan.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I have an image in my head of what I want to be.  It is not completely formed, but it is a vision of what I would like to be.  Wisdom says the path is disciplined action over time that will be the greatest contributor to getting that vision to become reality.  It is what will place me in a postition; that when opportunity arrives, I will be strong enough to take it and hold on to it.

Conclusion:

I don’t know what others think of discipline.  I know that pain and sweat is not something people like to experience. I just know that no change has taken place in my life or to myself without either. It is perhaps and ironic fact of life, that strength comes through pain.  But there is that moment of satisfaction that you have when the results are achieved that far outweighs the pain in the end.  So there is that truth – discipline also leads to satisfaction.  That feeling of satisfaction, is greater than any pain or struggle.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 5 – Pixie Trouble (1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019

I am writing the next few journal entries after the fact of what happened by about a week.  Mostly this is due to being held captive for the last five days. My life has definitely taken turn here that is major. But is probably best to start at the beginning.

Lunette did eventually show up.  Three days after Raven had paid her visit.  In my younger days Lunette had that sensual attractiveness of a teenage girl to me.  The prom queen type, and I was at the time the lucky nerd on her arm for most of Middle School.  High School changed all that and we became in a sense estranged.  We still were the only two magical touched beings of our class, so we found ourselves at times as uneasy allies against darker powers.  Lunette became increasingly more about herself .  More about the using of her abilities to manipulate and control others.  Yeah, I kept my distance during high school.

I don’t want to say age has mellowed Lunette, but she looks a little less confident of herself these days. She looks like a fully mature adult female.  She seemed more cautious in her actions.  More deliberate and calculated.  I could tell this from just watching her move and the way she talked. She was no longer speaking to me in passion but in very calculated thought, measuring each word.

She stopped by on the morning of January 8th; and after letting her in, I had a deja vu moment as I sat in my chair and she sat pretty much exactly where Raven had a few days ago.  I was beginning to think my life was looking up with two attractive females visiting my bachelor pad in less that a week; but then again both of them were dangerous as coiled venomous snakes.  Lunette for her part had worn a skirt with leggings but her upper body was encased in a fur coat.  Her female curves enhanced with pixie charms were damn near perfect. Those wings of her’s fluttering behind her were the major difference in the two encounters with these two females.

I didn’t really waste much time with small talk.  I was being as cautious as hell.

“OK, it seems to me we left our conversation at me asking you what you have been doing with your life since we parted.  You then looked very sheepish and then we were rudely interrupted by magical gunfire so to speak.”

Lunette then looked a little sheepish again.  She hesitated for a moment and then she opened her mouth and began.

“After I was exiled from the Grove, I wandered a bit.  Decided to pass myself off as human for a while by going to college and doing some modelling. The bills got tight as you can imagine, so I did a little exotic dancing to supplement.”

She stopped at that point and looked at me like she was fishing for a reaction.  I kept quiet, but my thoughts were she could have made that a career for a decade and retired.  Her natural pixie looks and illusion abilities would have made her a top of the line porn star for that matter. I kept my face stoic like she had simply given me the temperature outside, so she continued.

“I graduated, but I couldn’t find a job, so I began to work freelance jobs in the magical world.  Discovered I had a talent for it really.  Mostly, finding out secrets and selling them to the highest bidder. The only problem with that; as you know, is you make enemies and some of them can be pretty powerful. But I have so far navigated all that.  This war has made that more difficult.”

“Personal Relationships?”

She laughed.

“Well, I am Pixie.  You know a lot of passionate fucking, but nothing really serious or long-term.  In the pixie world being an exile makes you not so desirable as a mate for making kids. Besides, I don’t really want children. They would be too much of a liability in this line of work.”

“Yeah, I think about that myself.  If I get too involved, my kids and grand kids become targets too.  No matter what the Council says the rules of engagement are; they will go after them if I get too involved. War tends to make rules go out the window in order to achieve victory.”

“Yeah, I guess both of us are under the gun there.  My parents are gone, so it is just me though, so I guess in that regard I have an advantage over you.”

“Well, I guess I could disappear.  That wouldn’t make them safe though.  They could still be used to flush me out. No.  I just don’t know.”

Lunette nodded.  She had been sitting with her legs crossed, but now she had her knees together with her feet slightly apart and she was leaning forward.  Her fur coat was unbuttoned and so her button up shirt which was undone a few buttons on the top revealed a pretty nice view of her cleavage.  I had to admit some old feelings were starting to surface and they were more about lust than love.  Only the seriousness of the topic had been keeping them in check.

“Edward, I am sorry about what happened and how I acted toward you after middle school.  I was a brat back then.  I just had different plans and an attitude to match.”

“Well, in the end both of us were exiled for our own actions Lunette. Although I am not quite sure what I did in the end.  But she ….”

“It’s OK Edward, you don’t have to say anything.”

“So, what business are you here for?  You are on business too, not just to renew an old relationship?”

“Yes, I am. I have a client that wants to talk to you about an offer that may help you with your problem with the Council.  I am here to arrange the meeting.”

“I see, and who is your client?”

“She would rather introduce herself in person. I am just here to take you to her if you are interested.”

“I am not trying to be rude Lunette, but my trust level is a little low right now of anyone. I mean from all accounts you have a bounty on your head from several different sources. I might be being over cautious, but I think if I am going to meet this client of yours, she would have to come here where I would feel more safe.”

“I see.  Well, I am sure she would not do that.  She has her own level of paranoia that is justified.  I don’t know what else I can do to assure you this is not a trap.”

“Not sure you can.  Our relationship has been dead for a long time and even though I can feel for you about your situation, I have my own that is a little difficult as you know.  I am guessing that I would be in the presence of other magical beings, and that means outnumbered and outgunned if shit goes south.  Sorry, too much of risk for me.”

She actually looked at me like she expected that answer.  She nodded.

“Well, OK.  I get it.  I should probably get back to her and tell her.”

Lunette got up, buttoned up her coat and then she came closer to me. I took a deep breath and, before I could react, she leaned over a bit and kissed me on the cheek. I would have thought it a nice gesture of renewed friendship except I instantly felt very tired and literally collapsed to the floor losing consciousness.  The last words I heard her say as I did lose consciousness were:

“Sorry Edward, but this is for your own good.”

I remember thinking that I was a complete idiot, but then everything went black.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Path of Virtue

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask me right now what I miss the most, I would say it is walking. Winter sucks to walk in without the proper gear.  I miss the iron of the weights at the gym too, but I miss the simple act of taking an hour our of the day to take a walk. As soon as the snow is gone and the temperature up to a point where I can put on a jacket and take a walk, I will be out there.

Walking for me is very honest metaphor.  I am the Grey Wayfarer and a Wayfarer is one who travels on foot.  I enjoy this simple action more than most people know because living is walking with the occasional stops for enjoying the view or life in general.

My path is in life though is virtue. Finding the right path has not always been easy. I have walked a lot of them.  Christianity was a major one.  Right Now, I would say the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) are a better one.  Why? Because Virtue transcends religion, politics and philosophy, and it is something I have come to discover as I have walked the path.  You can be an honorable person regardless of whether you area Christian or not, whether you are conservative or liberal, or whether or not you believe in eastern or western philosophy.  Virtue is simply working to strengthen that which is best in us as human beings, and that path is something I can gladly walk.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have a sense of honor.  I have really come to understand that this comes from within and not what other people think of me.  That is very important to understand. People do not dictate my sense of personal honor; I develop it within myself.  It makes honor both stronger and in a sense more vulnerable.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here,  I would say my recent travelling through The Grey Storm may have built this a little stronger.  I just need to really use this to put myself out there even more for a job search.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I don’t find this as difficult anymore.  I find myself stay silent a lot but it seems other people have more problems when I speak the truth than I do.  I have discovered that it is so true that people would rather have comforting lies than the truth, that it makes me chuckle at times.  That said, I follow truth because it gives me an advantage.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love of life. This last couple weeks have really challenged that. I guess I can say I owe a few people who I love some credit at times for helping me find my way back to love of life. My wife, children and grand kids all have contributed.  It makes this path easier to walk at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Really working on a full week this week with this complete every single day. I have come close several times, but this week I want the morning Routine to be flawless.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I am going to work on two things,  1) Finding the way to get the money for my first tattoo and 2) writing my novel.  I have until the end of June to get one or the other of these done.

Weightlifting:

I think the best plan right now is to get some dumbbells and come up with routines with those i can do at home.  It might be a high rep, three set thing for some exercises but I need to do something to make sure my muscles stay toned at least.  Once I get a better paying job, gym membership and other things get back on the table.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:2 – “Everyone Has the Right to Life”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Life” – The Book of Rabyd 1:2

Thoughts and Exposition:

I am going to state it plainly that verses 2 through 4 are a rip off from Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence. But the right to life is still a very hot button topic in this world today and I am not going to skirt around it, but before I begin I would remind people who there are three of these major rights and not one is more important than the other. They have to be kept in balance because they are all ‘inalienable’, so not one of them can be more important than the other. The right to life is simply the first one.

At this point I want to point out that I am making an assumption here in the source of rights. There are actually many schools of thought about where rights come from; or if we even have them at all, but the assumption made by most of the founding fathers was that rights were natural, given by the creator. We will run with that for the purposes of the Book of Rabyd.

The main issue is that everyone has the right to live and that no one has the right to take another life.  There are of course all kinds of issues here from capital punishment to abortion, but we need to remember that this right has value.  That value needs to be considered when looking at those issues.  If a person murders someone, then they have denied another’s right to live, and I would say also forfeited their own.  Our right to live is conditional on the one factor that we respect everyone else’s right to live.   Once we fail to do that, we forfeit that right.

The other issue is the very simple.  When does life begin and when does it end?  It is this issue along with the other issues of the other two inalienable rights that need to be considered when considering issues such as capital punishment or abortion. The main issue for me has always been to respect the lives of others and that they respect mine.  Given that, I expect people to let me live that life as I wish to live in liberty and I will do the same for them.  But that is a discussion reserved for the next verse.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:2 – “Everyone Has the Right to Life”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Matchbox Twenty – “Real World”

Come on in and live a little.  Take a break from the real world.

Poem:  “Live a Little” by ACSK

Image result for live life poem

Live a little? – nope.  I plan to live a lot.

Meditation:

Image may contain: text that says 'My actions reflect who I truly am and your interpretation of them reflects who you truly are. Deep Alignment'

A friend of mine posted this quote a couple of days ago.  It resonated with me a lot.  If it does for you as well bonus.  Mostly if people always are interpreting what you do negatively, that is probably more of a reflection on them than you.

Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Ten Thousand Fists (Live 2016 – Grand Rapids, Michigan)

Thought I would prep with this one as it has become a recent Disturbed favorite of mine.  This one was also performed a few years ago right down the road from me; so, I have to say that has its appeal too.

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Life” – The Book of Rabyd 1:2

Sermon:

I am going to state it plainly that verses 2 through 4 are a rip off from Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence. But the right to life is still a very hot button topic in this world today and I am not going to skirt around it, but before I begin I would remind people who there are three of these major rights and not one is more important than the other. They have to be kept in balance because they are all ‘inalienable’ so not one of them can be more important than the other. The right to life is simply the first one.

At this point I want to point out that I am making an assumption here in the source of rights. There are actually many schools of thought about where rights come from; or if we even have them at all, but the assumption made by most of the founding fathers was that rights were natural, given by the creator. We will run with that for the purposes of the Book of Rabyd.

The main issue is that everyone has the right to live and that no one has the right to take another life.  There are of course all kinds of issues here from capital punishment to abortion, but we need to remember that this right has value.  That values need to be considered when looking at those issues.  If a person murders someone, then they have denied another’s right to live and I would say also forfeited their own.  Our right to live is conditional on the one factor, that we respect everyone else’s right to live.   Once we fail to do that we forfeit that right.

The other issue is the very simple.  When does life begin and when does it end?  It is this issue along with the other issues of the other two inalienable rights that need to be considered when considering issues such as capital punishment or abortion. The main issue for me has always been to respect the lives of others and that they respect mine.  Given that, I expect people to let me live that life as I wish to live in liberty and I will do the same for them.  But that is a discussion for next week

Closing Song: Sammy Hagar – Mas Tequila

One Last Skaal before we go – Classic Sammy.  There is a guy who knows how to live a little.

Parting Thought: 

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text

If your going to live, you need to let others live too. To do that you need to drop controlling bullshit philosophies – like religion, political affiliation and tribalism.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Gods and Goddesses – Odin – The All Father

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

From this point on I may jump around a bit when to comes to topic on Crossing Bifrost.  Mostly now I just want to write on what topics interest me in Norse mythology.  I am currently reading a book call The Viking Spirit by Daniel McCoy and I want to acknowledge his contributions to my knowledge on this topic.  He is also connected to a website called Norse Mythology for Smart People which I can heartily recommend.

Image result for the viking spirit

So with acknowledgements out of the way, let’s tackle Odin, The All Father.

Odin is the supreme God of the Norse Pantheon.  He probably isn’t the most popular deity even back in the days of the Vikings.  Thor probably has that honor and one of the observations I can make is that this is probably the notion that the stories related to Thor are very common man/warrior stories whereas Odin’s tales are one of a leader taking responsibility for his sphere of influence and doing what is necessary to get the job done.  I got this feeling just reading them. I guess I can see McCoy’s observation that Odin probably appeals more to the aristocrat while Thor appeals to the soldier is probably dead on.

Odin takes a lot of different forms and take on a lot of different roles to get the job done. He is not just a king sitting on the throne like you see with a lot of pantheons.  Odin gets his hands dirty.  You see this probably most of all with him donning grey robes and wandering the world looking for the knowledge he needs to forestall Ragnarök.  He isn’t afraid to engage in deception to make this happen either. In short, Odin can be the noble warrior god, but he is also a wizard of the first order who uses his brains as much as brawn. He is the smart and clever strategist of the gods and that is why he sits on the throne.

See the source image

Odin’s accomplishments in the mythology are legion and his mentions in the texts are equally massive. I simply don’t have the space here to list them all. The most notable is his creation of the first two humans (Thus All-Father), His hanging on the world tree to gain knowledge of the runes, his sacrifice of his eye to gain even more knowledge. He leads the Wild Hunt and gains from the Valkyries half of those slain in battle. Mostly though you see his constant struggle to forestall the end of the world – Ragnarök.

His personality is a little shifty.  We would probably say that Odin is shady as fuck at times.  He engages in bets with his wife and can be quite deceptive.  But other times, he is the only brave warrior standing between the world and complete destruction, so you have to give him his dues as the creator and protector of mankind. If he has a sphere of power it is war, ruling and knowledge. In all these he excels.

See the source image

Personally, he has always appealed to me more than the other gods in the pantheon.  His image of the Grey Wanderer I have of course borrowed for the main theme of this blog. His companions of the ravens and wolves and his sacrifice are his eye are part of this blog as well. I like the idea of a grey pilgrim walking the world in an endless quest for knowledge, and so I resonate with Odin.

It could also be said that I find creative ways to interpret the virtues. Odin does that too and I find his example far more pragmatic about this than say Thor. For instance, Truth is a part of the Nine Noble Virtues, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t lie to someone who I found had in the past been deceptive to me. In battle, deception is part of the game and strategy of war, so I am not afraid to use it. Odin is dangerous on a much higher level than Thor because Virtue can be interpreted in many different ways and he sees that.  This is very unlike Thor who will just choose to rush in without thought and get his ass kicked, if he wasn’t protected by magical means. Odin is about the glory of victory; Thor is about the glory of battle.  Yes, that is a fine line but it is a significant difference. Thor just wants to fight, Odin wants to win.

See the source image

Popular culture when it comes to Odin seem to me more subtitle. I mean Marvel Kind of finally brought him out in a grand way with Thor, but over the last decades I have not seen many overt references, but rather his imagery is invoked far more than his actual name.  Tolkien used his imagery when we think of Gandalf the Grey. Characters who sacrifice to gain knowledge are in his spirit and there are many of these.  Ben Ken-obi, Yoda,of Star Wars, etc are like this too with their commitment to knowledge.

I suspect that I; the Grey Wayfarer, will walk in his metaphorical footsteps for some time to come.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 6 – Replacing Memories with Memories

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

If you have been reading this last week an a half, you are very well aware that I am in the midst of what I what I would call a Grey Storm.  That is depression is overshadowing my life with dark clouds and a little rain. Mostly I just have been having a lot of problems feeling anything at all as I go through my day.

I mentioned that I felt this was triggered in my journal posts by some memories which were triggered in part by the time of year and by a dream.  The time of year is significant because last year at this time my organist at the church died.  He was a good friend and the last of my musicians with any real talent that I started with nine and half years previously.  Everyone I had started with in that regard was gone and I dubbed this time as the day the music died.  End of an era really for the church which really was completely true once I left.

I was really hurting and the only one who was listening to me at the time was a young woman who I ended up having an affair with.  I am not proud of this; and there are no good excuses for it, but there were reasons.  The starting point though was my organists death and reaching out at the time in friendship to her and her to me at this time last year.

The other trigger was a dream I had last Tuesday (Feb. 5th).  It was very vivid and real in its feeling.  I was walking down a downtown street. I had to find a bathroom and ducked into a restaurant.  I found the bathroom and went in a started to do my business.  While there heard someone enter the room.  They stopped behind me.  They stood there and I could feel their presence but they didn’t move. It was actually unnerving.  I finished and then turned around only to find it was the man from the church who I had considered a friend for well over nine years standing there. Now, I know he was no friend at all, and I would consider him a backstabbing liar and thief. He was smiling at me but it was a wicked smile.  He shook his head at me like a person who has judged you and has nothing but contempt.  I snorted and walked out. My general approach to any memory of this man is to basically say “Fuck you asshole” and try to push it from my mind.

As I was trying to leave the restaurant, there she was – the young lady in question sitting at the table by the door facing me.  She too was smiling.  Not in a judgmental way, just that same smile she always had when she saw me.  I couldn’t get out without going right next to her, and I couldn’t go back with the man behind me, so I went forward and sat down at the table to her left. Yes, the dream was so vivid I can remember details like this. She looked at me and the smile faded from her face as I sat down.  I tried to speak but discovered I couldn’t.  She smiled again and then sang a song.  The weird thing is, I can’t remember what it was.  I can remember everything else in great detail but the song and then she laughed.  I got up and ran out. I could feel both of them following me and then my alarm for work went off.  I was extremely thankful to be getting out of bed that morning, but the dream shook me.

Since then, I have been walking a Grey Storm. Normally dreams fade from my mind until in a week I can’t remember them, but not this one. It was so vivid and real, I just can’t shake it.  I find that the only thing that helps is thinking about other memories that are more pleasant.  Replacing memories with memories.

Today is February 15th.  That probably has the significance to many of you as the day after Valentine’s Day.  To me it has a little more meaning as 30 years ago this is the day  I proposed to my wife. I had chickened out the night before.  But then I knew that I wanted her in my life forever and I took a brave pill.  I asked her the next day in the front seat of my old 1979 LTD.  The rest is history.  It was a great day for me.  One right now that I hold close to my mind, so I can’t see or feel the others that are not so good.

Only time will tell if this technique of using good memories of the long past will help with the memories of the recent past. I am also hoping new memories of the future will help as well.  I need some wins and some success.  I just hate times like this where everything is in autopilot and I am just walking without feeling. My heart and soul going into shutdown mode and staying numb, so I don’t feel pain. At least for now, the good memories of the past pull me out of the numb for a bit.

I suspect there will be more The Grey and The Wayfarer posts.  They will probably increase in frequency from now until the end of summer.  Mostly, I hope to remember some good things to keep out the bad, but I know me.  This is going to be a love/hate year when it comes to memories. and so The Grey will be ever present, like it or not.

Walking the Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Running a Tight Ship

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week has been a simple assessment of how to keep the virtues going during times of The Storm or The Grey.  Depression to the rest of you. Foundational Virtues make sure that I am facing The Storm with courage, honor and truth.  I am not running from it.  Business Virtues mean I stay on course.  I did point out the problem here was having a course and I think I have started to take that. Where the Self Virtues come in is the notion of running a tight ship.

The idea is that you stay disciplined, keep doing what needs to be done and trust your crew but make sure everyone is doing their job, including you. Right now keeping  my self together is running a tight ship and it is what will probably help me get to the end of this time of feelings.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines, the daily doing of things that I am trying to make into habits are what helps here.  It is what keeps my life from going completely ape shit.  This state would lead to shipwreck because things would start to full apart and The Grey Storm would then take over.  Nothing good then would happen.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

You keep going.  I get the definition of defeat and failure being a part of this, but there is a part of me that also understands perseverance is also going forward despite resistance. You keep sailing and you keep the sail trim.  You keep rowing when the wind is contrary or non-existent.  You don’t let circumstances stop you from making progress.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

All ships have a crew.  Even though this whole analogy means looking at my life, I couldn’t get where I am without support.  I just keep my circle small and value loyalty more than numbers these days.  It is hard sometimes when I get in The Grey Storm to do the proper maintenance of those relationship even though they are few in number.  So I go do it anyway.  That can be the hard part.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom – it’s a difficult thing sometimes to figure out what it is.  I have had many trying times these last few weeks.  Mostly though I have come to realize that doing things as a matter of habit can help you keep yourself together when you really just want to go back to bed.  It is not a wise course to set to just quit. It just makes things worse.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 1

There is a real practical problem with this routine and that is some of the things are just missing. The Cheat Meal Count is very low and I am sure I have broken it this week with Valentine’s Day, The Grey and so on.  Cleaning and Writing have been good. but that is about it.  I really need the snow to go away and to get some sort of weights in my life again.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

If I get the notion to do this right after my evening meal, it gets done.  The real challenge is thinking about it at that time.  I need some way to remind me consistently.  Reading has been nice at the end of the day, but I did take some time with this to watch movies with the wife instead.

Nutrition:

I may have to modify things here.  The intermittent fasting goes pretty well. I get up and food stays away until I have been up eight hours or so. The real issue is the Paleo Diet and finding things that are quick and easy.   The last month here is going to be tight but I am not sure practically I can get rid of all carbs.  I would like to, but eating with my wife and making dinner with her means carbs get in and I eat them.  So I might stay at one cheat meal a week and one carb source a day for the duration but I might extend the intermittent fasting to more hours a day or I might simply eat less each meal.  My 50th Birthday is very soon and I want to see how healthy I can be and look by then.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t perceive a problem here with myself.  I actually feel this part was what helped me though this week the most. I probably will do another “The Grey and The Wayfarer soon that reflects the last week and a half, but I can say now that it is my sense of courage and honor that kept me going this week.

Business – I think I have identified the core problem which is a lack of vision for my new career.  I need at least basic compass direction and I think I have done that this week by heading down a business path. I want to keep writing as a side career.  It might take off and be my business someday, but until then I think I at least can board the ship I call my life and say – ‘were heading this direction”.  What we will find may still be a mystery, but then again that is kind of the point of an adventure.

Self –  This has been a struggle, but through the struggle I have found a sense of keeping things together.  Don’t get me wrong, I have messed up on this week at times. But it is the times I do get the routines done and do what needs to be done and keep going that I have found my way through The Grey Storm. It has been good overall.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Religion Problems – Relics (St. Valentine’s Day Post)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I am going a little out of order here and the original design of “Religion Problems” was to hit other religions besides Christianity. But it is St. Valentines Day, so I am drawn to the holiday because of what we do with it.  But in the area of religion, the subject of relics is an interesting one.

Even as a Christian I wrote about St. Valentines Day as being something of a weird holiday when you look at it rationally. I wrote a post on it back in 2013:

St. Valentine’s Day – Maybe I Should Get a Tattoo

From that post I quoted Wikipedia:

The most popular martyrology associated with Saint Valentine was that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire; during his imprisonment, he is said to have healed the daughter of his jailer Asterius. Legend states that before his execution he wrote “from your Valentine” as a farewell to her.

The other thing is his relic:  A skull (said to be his)  with flowers that bloom from it.  I mean according to the church no one just puts these flowers on the relic, they just appear. The idea that this regular miracle builds faith in the Saints and in the faith they served is a pretty common theme in the use of such relics regardless of religion.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

So the question of miracles comes up with relics. I mean the blooming flowers thing would be impressive, if it is true.  But notice something right away in the picture of this relic.  It is carefully preserved in a box and that box probably has a back door.  I wonder what that would be for? It would be too simple have someone reach in when no one is watching a replace the flowers from time to time. Having grown up in the Pentecostal church I have seen the height of sleight of hand to get people to believe and to me the most rational explanation for blooming flowers is not a miracle, but placement when people are looking the other way.  That is very easy for any illusionist. I saw people doing this all the time to ‘prime the pump’ of faith.  Sorry, this is a ‘miracle’ that may not be so miraculous.

Religion:

I also find it interesting that this use of relics is even present in the three major monotheistic religions. All of them have as a base the commandment about idolatry and no matter how you shake and dance, veneration of an object is idolatry.  In the case of relics,  this idea of a spiritual force infecting an object, is definitely on the idolatry side is given a pass. because it ‘builds faith’.

Theology:

Miracles in general are often attached to things in my opinion that really are not a miracle. The idea of genuine miracles being possible I do not dismiss, I just also have a very specific theological definition of miracle that is basically an act of the divine that does something both unusual and unnatural. Babies being born, beautiful sunsets, etc. are not miracles by that definition.  To prove such a thing would require actual rational observation. When you do this with most relics, you find the sleight of hand and illusion aspects every time.

Spirituality:

I guess from a personal spiritual point of view, I don’t really have a need to have relics prove faith or theology.  I engage both with my spiritual side but it is much more internal for me as a pagan.  Relics and ritual have always be a bugaboo for me because, I can see that they can be easily turned into something where people are psychologically manipulated. It can have absolutely nothing to do with real spiritual or divine power. Relics are a good example of that kind of manipulation, if you ask me.

Conclusion:

On a lighter note, I prefer the modern version of Valentine’s Day.  A day devoted to expressing love toward your significant other. A day where you remind each other how much you love each other.  In that respect I can give a nod to the holiday. But relics – no. Just no.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Navigating Stormy Seas

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

Last week it was talk of a master plan.  This week it is trying to find a course to chart.  If I have a weakness here it is figuring out where I want to go from here.  I guess it is on the one hand understandable.  After doing one thing for twenty years, going a completely different direction which is in large part unknown is difficult.

I guess sometimes, I do feel like the viking boarding the ship and the notion of that captain is to just set sail into uncharted territory and see where we land in the end. You still have to pick a direction to sail, and that is the thing. What direction to sail?

There is also the issue of The Grey having created a bit of an emotional storm to navigate.  It is; however, subsiding a little. I guess I still struggle with unfinished business. I still struggle with not being able to end certain relationships the right way. They need to be ended, but they kind of don’t sit well with me right now. I guess I still struggle internally with trying to figure out the just way of doing so.

I think I have made  the decision to follow the business path as my basic compass direction.  I think it is the path that will allow me to use skills I already have and my education to the best use.  I am thinking a fully online MBA while I work in business; from an educational point of view, would be a good next step there.  I just don’t know where specifically this will take me. What shore will I ultimately land on.  Well that is the adventure part, isn’t it?  To pull out of the storm, I could really use an adventure right now.

I also have decided to actually make a plan for writing that novel.  That is my bucket list item and it could be a career if I get one novel to be published the right way,  It is something I can do in a few hours a week at first.  I have participated in National Novel Writing Month a few times and know you can write a lot of things in a short time.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I guess the issue here is that I feel I have achieved self-reliance of a sort for myself and my wife.  I mean we could use greater prosperity, it is the line about ‘family, clan, tribe and nation’ that I ponder from time to time.  It may affect my career path and affect me decisions about what course to set and what education to pursue.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I work hard.  I enjoy working.  I want to enjoy my career again.  I haven’t felt that enjoyment of occupation in about three years now. I want it back because it really gives you a sense of purpose.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I wrote on hospitality yesterday.  I guess right now I am meditating on how to be a person who people feel at home in my presence. It is an interesting thing to think on.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I struggle with justice.  I don’t vengeance, I want justice and that is much harder to achieve.  Probably at the center of the source of this storm right now is this desire for justice and knowing it might never happen.  There is also the notion that perhaps the scales are balanced because I am not exactly innocent here, but then again real friendship shouldn’t be about guilt or innocence.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently one a day.

Daily stuff can be the greatest struggle during the Grey.  I give in to the temptation to skip things a lot during these times, but I notice when I don’t I get a little better, so things do get done. Just not everything some days.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I made finding a new job a goal by the end of March now, it is simply a practical change seeing I haven’t found one yet. I don’t keep track of goals that either don’t pan out or I have to modify. You never want to focus on your failures.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Tax time coming.  I am hoping that step one will be in place because of it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!