The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 5 – Evil Intent (Hel)

Happy Saturn’s Day.

Hel sat on her throne brooding over the god standing in front of her.  She was wearing her black robes which hugged every curve of her body which was a shapely.  A body which the right side was simply a beautiful strong Nordic Woman with very pale skin and golden blond hair.  The left side of her body was akin to a freshly dead corpse.  Not the rotting death described in most mythology. Rather deathly pale, Lips on that side were white and her left eye frosted over in death. Hair was white as the grave.  The skin was not broken but had that wrinkled quality of a corpse that had been dead for maybe a few days.  She was a pale looking monster really. Like a living beautiful corpse.

She, however cared little for such things as most of her existence she was the absolute monarch of Helheim, the realm of the dead. Those who died of hunger, thirst, disease and other natural causes found their way to her realm.  The honored dead found their way to Odin’s Valhalla.  The rest of the dead were her’s.  Not that life in Helheim was a terrible one.  It was just life continued only in a world of grey with little pleasure.  She was sure some of its citizens still had sex but it was the dull motions of a temporary relief from boredom.  Mostly people continued to work and exist, but there was no feasting, no mead and very little laughter in Helheim. The only person who seemed to gain any happiness was Hel herself and only when the world of mortals tried to cheat her or make a deal for their souls. She liked such deals and they often actually made her smile.  Something she very rarely did as most of the time she was grim-faced. She was much like her father in her love for such dealings.

Her father was the god standing in front of her throne. Loki, the trickster god. She was his daughter along with her two siblings Fenrir the Great Wolf and Jormungand the world serpent. Fenrir also dwells in Helheim, still bound waiting for the last days and Ragnarok.    The world serpent still surrounded the world, though it was the world of this island realm of Odin’s preservation magic. All Children of Loki and the Giantess Jotunn Andgrboda.  Such an unholy union produced to fierce creatures and only Hel herself even resembled anything human and to most she was a monster as well.

Her father by contrast was a hansom looking god.  His face and body one that women swooned over. His hair long and brown, his face clean-shaven and his grey eyes that would melt the hardest heart.

“Hel, are you even listening daughter?”

“Sorry father, I was thinking of something.”

The voices contrasted.  His masculine and melodic and hers otherworldly and haunting.”

“Damn girl, this is important.  This new human player could ruin everything.”

“I don’t think so father.  I would wager that Odin fears him as much as Fenrir. Frigg seems to think him the one of her dreams.  This Grey Wayfarer.”

“Perhaps, but Ragnarok can be delayed.  How many times delayed now?”

“Too many to count father.  Fenrir grows inpatient.”

“Fenrir is always impatient. Hel, my dear. I have struggled to be the king of the gods now for centuries and with no result.  I have come to see Ragnarok as the only way to have a chance of a new beginning.”

“Or end it all, father. Leave us all with nothing.”

“Better that than the eternal servitude that has been Asgard.  This Grey Wayfarer must be helped along the path toward the end we want, not what Odin wants.”

“Playing with fate father? I thought you would rather set back and see what happens.”

Her tone was sarcastic. She knew full well her father could not help but meddle.”

“So what is your plan father?  Negotiation, tricking him to doing things your way?”

“No daughter, my plan involves throwing you at him.”

“Me, but I would have to leave Helheim.  That has never gone well for me father.”

Truth was her powers were absolute in Helheim, even Odin would think twice about challenging her here.  He after all gave Helheim to her to rule. That changed the moment she stepped beyond is borders. Not powerless to be sure, but far less in power. Vulnerable.

“I know.  But it also necessary for all of us to take risks at this time.  Truth is, I will be taking a few of my own. I want you to befriend him and lead him towards our ends.”

“He will take one look at me and distrust me.  He knows the legends father.  Unlike you, I cannot disguise who I am.”

“Which is why I commissioned the dwarves to make this for you.”

Appearing in his hand was a mask. It was silver and looked the face of the woman.

“What is it?”

I put a little of my shape-shifting power in it.  Hel my dear daughter, this will make your left side look like the other.

“Interesting, but what if I refuse anyway.”

“Worried about the prophecy about you, my girl?”

Hel scoffed looking disgusted.

“What my dear girl.  Is it so impossible that you could fall in love. That the heartless Queen of Helheim might be capable for love after all?”

Hel actually laughed. It was unnerving and the walls of Helheim reverberated with its echo swallowing the mirth of it in absolute sadness.

“If that happens father, the end is truly upon us.”

Loki laughed this time.

“And that is what we want dear daughter.  Fenrir wants to bite Odin, I want the throne of the gods.  The world serpent wants to ultimately feast on the world and you my daughter, what do you want? Yes, the souls of the dead that will die in Ragnarok outside the confines of battle will be legion. Your ranks and power will grow.”

“I already have enough servants.”

“Yes, but how many are like Balder or some of the other warriors you have robbed of Valhalla.  I mean do you ever figure out why he didn’t go to Valhalla?  You have to admit you can appreciate the delicious irony of a great beloved warrior ending up here instead of Odin’s Mead Hall?”

Hel smiled wickedly.  Yes, it had been to her a delicious feast for her soul to see the one greatly loved now wondering her halls with the same lost expression as all the rest.  No feasting, fighting to drinking for Balder. Just the long night of an ordinary life with no end. He father had a point, if she could find the way he missed Valhalla and do it to other great warriors that would be enjoyable.  Robbing Odin and Valkyrie of their champions would bring a smile to her face.  This Grey Wayfarer might be just the one to show her what she needed to do that to a lot more warriors.

“Very well father.  I will do what you ask.  Leave the mask and I will use it.”

“Excellent.  Befriend him and push him our direction.  While you are doing that you will have all the time you need to perhaps uncover the secret to robbing Valhalla of its champions.”

Loki set the mask down next to Hel on the table that held her empty plate and knife. He then smiled that disarming smile at her and then turned and left.  Hel looked at the mask. To have both sides of her look the same.  To just be the beautiful daughter of Loki.  The thought made her feel ‘alive’ like she hadn’t felt in decades. This was a worthy quest. Ragnarok would come and her and her two brothers would know vengeance against Odin and the citizens of Asgard.  The Grey Wayfarer might very well be the key she was looking for.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 3 – Temptation

Happy Saturn’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 5th, 2019

So after last night’s encounter with Lunette and the three stooges, I went home and set up my wards.  Basically there are two types of wards I can do which, while not sophisticated, are effective.  First, there are my protective wards which basically can set magical using beings on fire. I set these up on all four walls of my apartment and in front of the door.  The other type I can do is detection wards which tell me a magical being is getting close to them.  I put this up on the outside of my apartment walls and a couple on the sidewalk leading up to my door.

My day today started at roughly two in the afternoon when one of my detection wards went off.  There is no klaxon or bell or anything like that, you just know something is coming close to them.  I reluctantly gave up the book I was reading in my lab and readied my shield spell in one hand and my fireball in the other. It might be Lunette as she promised or it could be someone else. There was a knock at the door.

I relaxed a little and put on my jeans as I was wandering my apartment in my  underwear, t-shirt and socks thing.  I went to the door.  No peep-hole to look through, so I readied my shield and opened the door.

Standing there was the goth elf chick from the night before.  Her features definitely had that angled elf thing going with a very slight but sensual build.  I noticed that her hair was dyed black, as I could see the roots which were golden.  Her eyes were green, which told me contacts or illusion, as most of the time elves have silver eyes or golden.  If she could do illusion, changing her eye and hair color would be child’s play, so I was guessing not an illusionist. She didn’t throw a fireball at me last night and she didn’t stop my lightning bolts with a shield, so probably not evocation or adjuration either.  That left necromancy, conjuration, transmutation, enchantment and divination.

Well the council snaps up every necromancer they find and necromancy is outlawed.  Note, like all governments, they still keep said power to themselves.  Bastards. Despite the goth look and the skull choker probably not necromancy. Not transmutation either.  Mages who can transmute things get rich or comfortable doing it.  Diviners who are any good don’t do a lot of field work even if they are freelance. While I do divination myself, I don’t use it often, even though I am good at it.  No, this elf woman was probably not a diviner.  That left two possibilities – conjuration or enchantment.   If she was a conjurer, she would have thrown something at me last night.  A poison cloud or a demon from hell – something.  Yeah, my best guess was she was an enchantress. Good thing I am hard to beguile thanks to long hours of meditation under Mrs. W’s teaching years ago.  She was an enchantress too, and taught me defenses against their charms.

The problem was magic aside, this girl had some charms of her own that had nothing to do with magic. She was cute despite, or maybe because of, the black hair, green eyes and black lipstick. She wore her black outfit which consisted of black knee length boots, black stocking which disappeared into her short black skirt. The skirt was short enough that if she bent even slightly over, I would be able to tell the color of her underwear assuming she was wearing any.  A black button up shirt which was unbuttoned about four buttons showing ample cleavage, which was demonstrating a strong C almost D cup.  Over her shoulders was a black jacket that covered her arms. Skull choker with matching skull earrings completed the ensemble.  She was sensual, cute and darkly sexy on top of being an elf. She was temptation with black boots.

“Well, I don’t see your two friends.  Is this a business or social call?”

“The file said you were a smart ass. Grumn is nursing some burns you gave him last night and Alex is probably brooding somewhere. I am Raven.”

“Suits you.  At least the file doesn’t say dumb ass.  You don’t strike me as Council stooges, so why the attack last night?”

“Pixie was the target. We are bounty hunters and she has a high price on her head – alive or dead.”

“Yeah, probably me too.”

“Yes, actually. But we don’t go after mages as a general rule. Pixies and monsters are our specialty.  Do you mind if I come in?  I promise I will be a good girl and not cast spells at you. I just want to talk.”

It was pretty cold out.  I was pretty confident in my abilities to handle her alone.  I mean she would be in my home giving me an advantage and I was pretty sure she was an enchantress.  I would be an embarrassment to Mrs. W’s memory, if I couldn’t handle her on a magical level.  It was the sensual, cute and darkly sexy part that was bothering me.  I am a man and my wife had been dead for a couple of months now.  There is an old saw about ‘there is really only one way to comfort a widow, you just have to remember the risks’.  I could probably testify that is probably true for widowers as well.

I let her in.

My apartment is affectionately known as “Bag End” or the “Hobbit Hole” by some of the family.  That is because you have to step down six steps to get to it once you are inside the door. Half the apartment is ground level and below, the other half ground level and above. I stepped aside in the door way and let her go ahead of me, telling her to turn to the right and the living room would be in front of her. As she walked down the steps I couldn’t help but watch her move and then, after shutting and locking the door, and then resetting my ward, I followed her to the living room.

The living room had been the most sparsely furnished room when we had moved in and only recently I had received a three-piece sectional from a friend and found a high-backed reading chair.  A couple of end tables made of crates and three lamps were the rest of it. I had purchased a television hung on one wall mostly for guests who visited me after my wife’s death and I had also bought an internet connection at that time.  The TV was mostly off now, as I hardly ever watched it.

Raven looked around the room which was clean and functional and she looked at the reading chair and the sectional but then smiled and took a seat, crossing her legs in one part of the sectional right across from the reading chair.  I smiled and sat down in the reading chair.  In the pale light, I can pull off the old wise wizard in his throne look when I sit in it.  In my black t-shirt, jeans and socks probably not so much. Raven spoke first.

“Spartan.”

“Yeah, I am a minimalist, so if I don’t use it or it doesn’t give me joy, I don’t usually keep it.”

“I see.  Edward…”

“OK.  Let’s get one thing clear.  There are only certain people who can call me Edward.”

“Oh, sorry. I am not trying to offend you.”

“I know but I want that established.  Only my grandmas, who are both dead, my mother and my former love interests can call me Edward. With my wife dead, that leaves three people – all women and you are not one of them.  Call me Ed.”

“Is one of them Lunette?”

“Yes.”

“Then the other would be..”

“Don’t say her name.”

“OK, like I said I am here to negotiate, not offend you.”

“Negotiate? If you are walking around and the Council is not after you, then you are connected to a House or a mystical being like a pixie or elf or other magical creature.  You’re an elf, your grey troll friend is well a troll and then Alex must be…”

“House Saturn.”

“Well Shit.  So why isn’t he coming after my ass?”

“Because we also represent a group of revolutionaries.”

“Revolutionaries?”

“Yes, we want to abolish the house system and the Council.  Free up the practice of magic to everyone who wants to do so.”

“Singing my song.  That said, let’s say I am a suspicious person and I don’t believe you for a second.  Because I am a suspicious person and I don’t believe you for a second.”

“That would be wise and you don’t have to yet, Ed.  We expect people to be skeptical.  Hopefully you will give us a chance to prove ourselves. The fact is once we recognized you, we realized you could make a powerful addition to our organization. Even Grumn saw the need to forgive you for the burns.  You’re very powerful, that’s why the Council fears you so much.”

What followed this was a ten minute conversation.  What I gleaned was that dissatisfaction with the Houses and the Council had been growing for a few decades. I of course am still skeptical of overthrow because I know they have survived for a couple of millennia.  I also gleaned that I was indeed behind the pixie lines which made me a little safer from the Council but not completely.  The Pixies were having trouble holding the line because the local grove was not supportive.  They might have to retreat.

“In any case Ed, the Council would think quite a bit before they came after you.  You scare the hell out of them. It’s bad enough you can do two schools of magic with expertise but throw in a third one at good level and they wet their pants.  Top it all off with the fact those first two are abjuration and evocation.  Shit, that makes you a Battle Mage.  There hasn’t been a genuine Battle Mage in any of the houses for well over two hundred years.  Add in Divination and they think you have eyes on the back of your head. In short, they don’t want to lose a bunch of mages to take you out. They know what you did to House Mars and House Venus and you did that as a teenager; so they bide their time and wait.”

“Well, fuck ’em. Listen, I get all that. Which is why me openly backing your revolution might be just the motivation to spend those mages’ lives to kill me.  The Death Angels failed and now my wards include protection against necromancy, so they are not going to be have an easy target.  If I join a group and give up my solitary introverted life, they might think it is time to take me out.”

“You have a point, but with the group you would have resources and allies. Something you don’t have right now.”

“I have Lunette.”

Raven sighed.

“Do you?  She is an outcast with the pixies and the mages don’t trust her either. Hell they want her dead. I have the wanted poster hanging on my board back at the office and it’s fairly clear the money is the same dead or alive. It’s also a lot of money. You might ask what she is up to and consider she might need you more than you need her.”

I frowned, but remained silent. She stood up and told me she had to get back to the office.  She wanted me to think about what she said.

“You know Raven, I want to violate a rule I have about asking women their weight and age but…”

“115 pounds and 54 years old. Elves live on average five times as long as humans.  I am half-elven so probably three times as long.  Physically I am roughly eighteen human years old.”

“Oh, well that explains it.  So it’s easier to pass yourself off as a teenager with the goth thing?”

“No, I just like black and being goth allows me to wear a lot of black.”

I laughed, she smiled at me and I showed her to the door. I locked it behind her.  She had been true to her word and not cast a spell.  Well except the one her hips made as she walked up the stairs anyway.  She had given me a lot to think about and a few questions to ask Lunette the next time I saw her.  Hopefully, I will see her soon. Definitely an interesting day.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – New Identity

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am writing this a couple of days early to clear my weekend schedule for both school and I promised that I would give you a double dose of fiction this Saturn’s Day.  I am not sure of the Pagan Pulpit on Sun’s Day. That will greatly depend on how things go this week and the early weekend.  My perception of this week is that it has been a busy one but what I want to talk about at this point is how my identity is changing into something else.

For about two decades I have been a pastor and Christian theologian.  None of that is true anymore, that identity for all practical purposes is a dead one.  I mean my Master’s Degree in Theology is still there as well as my Bachelor’s in Biblical Studies/Ministry, so I could pass myself still as a theologian, but not a believing one.  I suppose from a certain point of view that makes me a dangerous critic of Christian doctrine and theology because I can’t be accused of being ignorant of what Christians believe.  Not that I want to be such a critic; as in truth, I would rather start focusing my time on things that are more personally productive. I would rather focus on developing a new identity.

My problem is I feel very much like I am back in college making that decision for the first time.  There are differences as I know I am probably more experienced than I was thirty years ago, as well as ‘wiser’, whatever that means.  My issue is what am I now?  I know somethings that have not changed – I am still a husband, father and grandfather.  I am still a good friend.  I just don’t know what else I am right now.  Options:

Professor – This would mean a master’s degree in economics probably and then Ph. D work.  The issue I have with this one is continued financial aid and debt. I then would have a long-term career possible, if I made tenure so I could retire when I wanted to retire. I guess this one is on the top of the list because I have been told I am a good teacher and so that is the issue here in that it would fit me well and past experience in public speaking and teaching would not be wasted.

Business – This is an option because the pull of money is on me fairly strong as I need to make a bunch money in order to make sure retirement is even possible.  I could get an MBA at Ferris as the have a completely online one as well.  Corporate ladder or start my own business?  There are options here that are very flexible.  I know people from long experience, so that would be an asset as well.

Lawyer – Like it or not, my Political Science Degree is also preparation for a legal career. There are plenty of law schools in Michigan, so there is that.  I can’t put it off the list because with my own practice I can’t be fired either. I really do need a career path where I am in the driver seat as far as employment.

Writer – I have already had one career that starved me on occasion, so being a writer has purely emotional appeal, not a financial one.  It has risks. I would have to have another job until it could pay for things.  It also has the advantage of being non-ending.  I could do it in retirement for that matter.  Right up until they put me on my viking ship to burn as it sails out to sea. I am the Rabyd Skald after all.

I just don’t know which of these could be my identity or even a combination might be in order. I just don’t know. It has to fit me to be an identity and that is the challenge for me right now – finding what fits. The one thing I know does not fit anymore is ministry.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Once school is done I will have to do a reassessment of the areas in my life where discipline might be need.  Right now it is just obvious what needs discipline. The real problem right now for me is my old gym is closed and I need a new one and that means I will probably not be able to lift for a bit while I find a new one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Defeat and failure are something I try to avoid but my attitude about them is far more positive which is to say – once you have failed you can’t go back and fix it.  You can only move on by getting back up and moving forward.  I think this is something I may need to remember soon as I am struggling very much in one class and I don’t know how it is going to come out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I haven’t really thought about fidelity much this week as I have not had much time to be anything but loyal myself.  I guess the only struggle I still have is what to do if I ever cross paths again with certain people.  I simply do not know how I will react.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting this week but I am using the extra time for homework. Cleaning and walking were on target, so that was good.  I do need to find an alternative walk site starting next week.

Nutrition:

I need to define a couple of things.  A Cheat Meal for me is basically a period of time (a half hour to an hour) where I can eat pretty much any food and drink any beverage without counting it toward carb count for the day.  A Carb Count is a single serving of carbs outside a cheat meal and during the day,  Right now with five Cheat Meals and a Carb Count of five a day, I have a lot of room.  As the weeks  go by however this is not going to remain the case.  By the last month things will be very tight.  I need to remember those pictures are coming on my 50th birthday.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – All good here, I guess I am simply just putting my head down and trying to finish the year out as best I can. When 2018 hits the rear view mirror, I will probably let out a cheer.

Business – I am really looking forward to the job search and finding this new identity for myself.  My real issue is surviving it financially until then. Thankfully these virtues are not a problem for me for the most part so I keep doing what I need to do.

Self – Right now staying disciplined is tiring but I know it will be worth it.  Fidelity and Perseverance are now more central so I worry less about them right now anyway.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – No, I Don’t Want a Man Cave – I Want a Study

Happy Tyr’s Day

This is another week where doing a proper Of Wolves and Ravens is going to be too difficult so you get a Rabyd Skald instead. Mostly I just want to touch base a little about things without a real format or order and I want to talk about one thing I definitely want as far as where I live someday.

I would say The Grey and I have our moments.  I just have the defense of having school work to do to combat it.  I keep busy and that is the main thing.  I have a couple of days off from work but they will be filled with writing a paper. I don’t know if it will be my last one, but I suspect it might be the best one I have done for school.

School may be an issue as far as financing.  I don’t think my internship is going to be a paid one although I think I can do it online so I won’t have to travel to campus.  The issue becomes financial aid will not cover something part-time like that as it is only four credits.  I would have to basically attend full-time for another semester in order to pay for the internship.  Full time requires at least 12 credits so I would have to pick up about three classes.  I would need them all to be online and probably 100 or 200 level so I can finish with some extra skills.

My wife and I finished our last counseling session with our counselor as he is heading to Guam.  We are kind of discussing whether or not we need further counseling as a couple. The last session was a good one and the counselor thinks we have made progress and that we could go forward without it being a necessity.  I still would like some counseling for me but I don’t know if we can afford it right now. Maybe if I get a better job with some decent insurance I can consider it.

One thing my future vision of my life must contain is a study.  I don’t want a man cave although my study might have man cave elements like a wet bar and maybe a classic pin-up on the wall.  For me this is more about having a place for intellectual and creative pursuit with a masculine feel to it. I need a place like that to retreat to when the world gets too much. A place to read, study, write, relax and meditate.

Well, need to get to work on school stuff so I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The Last Battle?

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

This is just something running around in my head of late but there is always this notion that our lives lead up to some sort of climax, some sort of last battle.  Some defining moment that identifies us for who we are forever.  We romanticize this notion and most of our stories and book of fiction are all about this idea of climax.  I am not sure too many people actually get to experience this idea in reality.

For me, it could be said that I have had several of these final battles. It’s what causes me to think that life is more of a series of peace and war. Perhaps each battle gets mere difficult, perhaps not. The issue is that in times of peace one must prepare one’s heart for war.  Not because it is more beneficial than peace, but because war is inevitable wither with the world, with people or with self.

If I do have a final battle, it will simply be final because it is the last one I fought and it will either be that which kills me, or it will be the thing that leads to me final time of peace before I die.  It may not be my biggest battle, I probably will actually tell stories about that over a pint of mead.  No, the last battle will not be my toughest, just my last one.

I say this because the toughest battles are usually the first ones where you are learning to fight whatever enemy it is.  You survive, so the next time the next battle is easier.  My last battle should be the easiest one way or the other. Some where though there will be a great battle that was the turning point ans I do think that is coming up very soon.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Finishing my education and finding a new and better job is the first step in becomes more self-reliant.  Right now I am focused on finishing my last classes and getting things done one at a time and trying to stay focused on finishing everything possible.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I do enjoy study and homework when I feel the learning taking place in my head.  When it seems to be just busy work it can be more difficult.  What I am learning again, is this feeling of learning is very much up to me.  It is my feeling to generate as I start. This is something I need to remember long after I finish school.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Hospitality is minimal right now.  Not only is our prosperity limited but also time. Once school is done and things are a little more stable, I really hope to change this.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Next time I will be addressing nutritional questions and one of the things that might appear here is a check area for number of carb sources a day.   That is I might have five check boxes for the five foods with carbs in them I can eat that day.  AS I draw nearer to my birthday that number would actually get less and less until the last couple weeks it would be zero.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is less than three weeks away and there is a lot to do before then but the goal is in sight. Just for the record, my blogging streak will be at 59 days today when this post drops. What I need to do once school is finished is do an assessment before the beginning of 2019 to set some sort of action plan in place for these things.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

This month brought in extra money because of how my pay periods lined up, holiday pay and bonuses.  The problem was our cars ate most of it. We would have been very close to having #1 done otherwise.  Still fighting.  Hopefully a better paying job will help.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Three Week Timer Set

Happy Sun’s Day

Three weeks.  It’s all I have left of school and my degree pursuit.  Because of the need at this point to keep on track I am probably going to do a The Rabyd Skald Post to start each week to get a sense of my bearings as far as where I am and how much time I have left.

This is a good week with a lot of potential to get a lot of things done.  I only have twenty hours of work this week so there is extra time for homework and I am going to need it.  There is work to complete that I can get done in time I just have to stay focused for the two weeks left of class and the last week of exams.  I also have some practical shit to do as far as getting ready for graduation.  What’s left:

Cross Cultural Communication – This class had a group project that is already completed.  I just need to evaluate my peers and their performance.  Do the final chapters of reading and the final discussion online.  One last test which is the last day of class not on exam week because it is an online class.  I figure this class will take a day plus the discussion over three days to finish. It’s my last International Business class and finishes off that minor.

GIS – I have to confess I am behind here and the first priority will be to catch up.  I have maps to do and one lab.  None of this takes more than an hour to an hour and a half to do.  It’s just a matter of sitting down and doing them and keeping up when they are assigned. I have to confess my real problem with this class is it is something I probably might have to understand how it works but I will never do this stuff as a career.  I am just not into geography or computer programs that deal with it. It is however required for my Political Science Degree.  It’s Online so the work will also be done the last day of class.

Inferential Statistics – My problem with this class is I find math too easy mostly.  I have aced every raw math class in college so far.  I have a tendency to overlook this class at times. There is also the problem that I can’t really work ahead in this class as the professor assigns stuff to do for the next class and that’s pretty much how it rolls.  I have found the theory part of this class very interesting and relative to my Economics work.  That’s probably why its one of two classes that finishes off my Economics Minor. I just need to do every assignments and keep up with it as they happen.  I am sure there will be a final during finals weeks as it is one of two on campus classes I have.

Health Economics – I really only have one major thing left for this and that is the academic paper.  Thankfully, I am can double dip on this one and my Capstone (More on this later).  It is basically going to be a 15 page paper that is journal publishable.  That means probably 20 to 30 sources and a little bit of writing to do. This is one of my on campus classes so it has an exam time during exam week.  I will have time to study for that, so no worries until then.

Political Science Capstone: Also a scholarly journal publishable paper. I decided early on that this would be in Health Economics Policy so I could double dip and this idea was accepted by both professors.  I have to give a defense like a thesis on this one too so there is that as well.  I almost wish I had done this with my internship next semester but I figured let’s get everything done so I can start the job search sooner.  Luckily I am basically writing one fifteen page paper and counting it for two things.

This week is one where I need to make sure my three classes (Cross Cultural Communication, GIS and Inferential Statistics) are caught up and stay caught up to the end.  I also need to do a lot of research for this one paper and it has to be scholarly research on Google scholar or the campus library.  I need to have an outline, literature review and thesis fairly soon. Like by Wednesday so I am not planning on getting much sleep or much relax time in.  Tuesday my wife and I have counseling and I am going to have to consider that my break from all this at least this week.

I am initiating a hiatus on all entertainment forms except blogging each day.  I can only engage my routines, my homework and studying for the next two weeks for sure. The reason I can take this is frankly I can see it is coming to an end and by December 16th, I will be effectively finished with everything.  This week is getting the grunt work done, getting things up to date and keeping it there. I suspect a lot of caffeine consumption.

I have to pick up my cap and gown and order tickets for graduation. December 15th is the day but I really only have two weeks for most of this. I also have to finalize my internship for spring term but that should be simply filling out the forms. Time to make it happen.

To battle,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard: The Fire of Fury – Part 2 – An Old ‘Friend’

Happy Saturn’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 4th, 2019

Well…no sooner than to I talk about the law of magical attraction, as in magical attracts magical, and I find myself in its embrace.  Its cold, as an ice dragon’s breath, embrace.  I swear to the powers that be, if my luck ever turns good, it will probably be my last day on earth.  But perhaps I should start at the beginning.

I was feeling lonely and bored yesterday pacing around my apartment. I felt the sudden urge to just go get a value meal at the local hamburger pit and come back.  A risk given all my enemies, but at this point I was just ready to say ‘fuck it’ and move into battle mode.  I hopped into my black Dodge Journey and head down the road the few miles to said hamburger pit and walk in.  I get in line and order.  As I am waiting for my order to be fulfilled, I hear a soprano, sexy female voice behind me.

“Well, you look no worse for wear Edward, and your backside is still killer.  Broad shoulders too, I knew somehow you were an ugly duckling when we were in school.  You’re a sexy big man now.  The grey hair and goatee are definitely distinguished and attractive.  Gone is the skinny nerd boy.”

Yeah, my luck.  I knew the voice even though I hadn’t heard it in probably thirty years.  I turned around.

Lunette.  My pixie fellow classmate from 1987.  My teenage wet dream brought to life.  Lunette – girlfriend, lover and eventual pain in my ass.  She was older now and had lost that teenage prom queen look.  More curvy like her mother had been.  Sensual curves that made a man’s pulse race just looking at them.

“I work out. And you are just as lovely as you always were.  Definitely better.  No more innocent school girl look.  Just a plan sultry MILF. Assuming you have had children and are a mother.”

Lunette laughed.  She tell had those sparkling purple eyes and that perfect face.  Her hair, whose natural color was pinkish purple, was to her shoulders and wavy with perfect styling  She had sported a D cup as a senior in high school.  I would say she had DD cups now the way her shirt was straining to keep them in place.  She was dressed, in the cold of January, with what had to be yoga pants, nice heeled boots that came just short of the knee.  A sporty winter jacket was open so I could see the white t-shirt under it.  No purse as was her style.  Just a hair bow, earrings and gloves.  Everything some sort of shade of either purple or pink.  Her black wings, butterfly like with pink trim, fluttered behind her.

Now, because she is for all practical purposes a master of illusion, what she looked like to others I could not guess.  She was however not using her illusion power with me to disguise herself.  I was seeing her as she was.

“We always could pull off that sexy banter flawlessly couldn’t we?”

“Yeah, the problem was never the sex or sexy parts, Lunette.  It was the relationship.”

We both laughed this time.

In my mind I began to go over the more interesting points of our relationship.  Let’s see, she and I had known each other since middle school.  We maintained a kind of romantic relationship off and on through middle school.  She was in a very real sense my first love. The problem of course with pixies is they have the sexual fidelity level of a goat.  To them sex is just something you do for enjoyment and boy do they enjoy it.  The other issue is a mage’s magical aura is like crack cocaine to a pixie.  As Lunette’s mother informed me once – it’s gives a girl pixie super orgasms to make love to a human mage.  Hell, even touching a mage and kissing him can be a thrill for a pixie.

On the flip side, the love-making process supercharges a mage’s power.  This came in handy the one time I was stabbed with a magically poisoned knife.  I could only use my own healing spells to fight it and they just were not strong enough.  Lunette volunteered to make love to me while I cast the healing spells on myself. She herself had lost her wings (they were ripped off leaving bloody gashes) because of breaching pixie honor codes and I think she was in some senses trying to redeem herself.  The result was I lost my virginity, had enough power to heal myself from the magical poison and Lunette’s wings grew back almost instantly. It was a moment etched in my brain like a branding iron on skin.

The guy behind the counter said my order number and I went over and got my food while keeping and eye on Lunette.

“Edward, can I sit with you and talk.  You are not stupid, so I am going to guess you have figured out I am not just here to swap stories and sexy banter.  You don’t mind if I just steal a few of your fries do you?  I am watching my figure.”

“You and every red-blooded male within eye shot.”

She laughed again. We sat down in a corner booth as far as we could get from the busy area of the burger pit.  I poured the fries out onto the tray and split some off pushing them toward Lunette.  I dumped salt on mine and got to work on my burger.

“So…you wanted to talk…talk.”, I said between mouthfuls.

Lunette took up a fry and ate it.  She then smiled.

“I guess I should catch up first.  I am no longer with the Grove.  El…I mean SHE kicked me out a little after she kicked you out.  Said something about not trusting me.”

“Wow, go figure.  Thanks for not mentioning her name.”

“Sarcasm noted. I read your file.”

“I have a file?”

“Well yes, we pixies may be a bunch of narcissistic, sex crazed layabouts but we do keep records of those in the magical world. Especially those with power.  Your’s says that certain people should not be mentioned by name to you.”

“Wow. And I know nothing about you since we parted. You don’t even come to class reunions.”

“I know you got married, were a pastor for twenty years.  Have three kids, four grand kids.  You had a recent affair with member of your congregation, although I could find no evidence it was physically sexual.  Sad that, the gossip would have been juicy.”

“I am sure the gossip is far more interesting than the reality.  It’s still juicy enough.”

“Yes, it is. I know that you have had a crisis of faith and are no longer a Christian. You graduated with a third degree pending finishing your internship. You and your wife reconciled right before the divorce hearing.  Then she was killed November 1st.  I can confirm for you it was a necromancer that did it. The spell went astray somehow, I wish I could say how, but necromancy isn’t my thing.  It might have been the Death Angels, but I couldn’t confirm that.”

“Well, you know enough about me.  I still don’t know shit about you since I last saw you.  Well, other than your curves have gotten even more dangerous.  What happened to you since we last were together? ”

Lunette seemed to ponder this for a moment. Struggling with what to reveal.

“Well, I….”

Lunette never got to go forward with her thought as a bright flash appeared outside the window we were sitting at.  I cast my shield around me and Lunette. Just in time too as a bolt of some sort of energy smashed through the window where we were and struck my shield pushing both of us out of our seats and sending us flying away from the blast.  The shield absorbed most of our fall.  I kept it up while standing to my feet.  I looked over at Lunette who seemed irritated more than anything.  Then she flashed a smile at me and shrank down to pixie size leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. I saw her streak away like a bolt of light out the window.  I jumped through after her.  I kept my shield up and strengthened it by concentrating on it, keeping my left arm in a ‘L’, like I was holding an actual shield.

What I saw was Lunette doing her pin ball blast thing of one opponent to the next releasing powerful energy every time she hit one.  It’s like being gut punched with a small electrical shock attached.  I know; I had experienced it.   Her opponents were an odd assortment of three.  I could see a troll, a mage in black robes and another girl who seemed slight and pointy.  Oh, yeah probably an elf.  She was dressed in black too, but looked like a goth chick.

I didn’t waste time assessing the fashion sense of my opponents, as the black-robed one was pointing his arms at me.  A burst of flames came from them and was absorbed by my shield. Powerful, but not powerful enough to get through my stuff. I just extended my right arm and let loose with my magical lightning from my finger tips. It struck all three of them. and the two mages instantly fell backwards.  Magical lightning has the added effect of temporarily reducing the power of mages.  The troll on the other hand came right for me.  Fuck.

I did the only thing I could do at that point which was to shift to fire which instantly caused the Troll to scream and back away.

“Nasty fire. Grumn not like it.” It shrieked.

I didn’t care what Grumn liked.  I am 6′ 5″ in the summer and this grey-skinned troll had me by a foot. I wasn’t going to go fist fight with it.  Lunette was keeping the mages off-balance; so I dropped my shield and left fire loose with both hands.  The troll ran away burning and screaming.  The two mages, seeing the tables had been turned, took off after it.  I was going to pursue but thought the better of it.  They might have a fall back ambush point, friends or both. Lunette seemed to feel the same as she came streaking back toward me.

She hovered in front of my eyes.  Shit.  She wasn’t the prom queen girl anymore in every sense of the word.  A full-fledged woman now with all the naked sexy woman curves on display in front of me.  She smiled at me  knowing what I was looking at, but she quickly gave me instructions.

“Edward, you need to know one thing now and I will try to contract you later with the rest.  It isn’t safe here, you need to go home and get behind your wards.  I will contract you there later. The thing you need to know is the Mages and Pixies are at war.  Not a little local skirmish either, it’s a full-fledged, world-wide war. I have to go. See you later.”

With that she kissed the tip of my nose and turned and took off.  She shook her ass at me like she used to when we were in high school as she flew away. That pixie woman was going to be trouble in more ways than I wanted to think about at that moment.

The Pixies and the Mages are in a world war.  Well, shit.

That’s all for now.  I am certain Lunette will contact me soon.  As much as I don’t like it, I needed her right now. She truly the only magical ‘friend’ I have and the only source of information about what is going on in the world of magic as well. Shit.  This isn’t going to go well is it?

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Part 3) – Confessions

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

Introduction:

I just don’t have time this week to do a proper Of Wolves and Ravens.  School is starting to have the potential to kick my ass and I am having to bear down a bit.  It’s OK though, because it gives me a chance to do an update on my constant battle with depression aka The Grey.  I could just write and say things are cool, but that would be a lie.  I would assess myself as functional but struggling.

I never realized how much betrayal would be a depression trigger.  The pain of loss of friendship I think does it. We all objectify people from time to time.  It’s the main philosophical problem of our age brought to life.  We no longer see people as people like ourselves but rather as problems to be moved aside or dealt with.  I work hard every day to see people as people.  Even more so since I failed at that with my wife in particular. But my greater motivation is now I very much know what it feels like to be treated as an object as well.  Once you have been treated that way, you never forget it and you either work hard not to make others feel that way in return or….you fade into The Grey.

As a warning here at this point. What follows is a discussion of the three things I would be talking to my counselor about if I could afford one.  Some of these are sensitive in the sense they can invoke strong feelings.  Particularly, if you are family in some sense or another either through blood, long association as my friend or even through my church ties some way, this warning is for you to stop reading at this point, unless you feel you can take the sensitive emotions of the issues presented. I am going to try to be as transparent as possible without being hurtful, but I don’t know how people will react all the time, so the warning is for you.

On a practical note, the reason I am doing this is these issues are making it difficult to concentrate on work or school because they are the closure issues I have been mentioning.  It should be noted that on all of these, other people have different views of the events and have called me cowardly and a lair for my viewpoint.  I can only present things from my perspective and based on my own conversations with others.  The problem still remains that others are telling my story and I want to tell it myself to set a more complete account.  I don’t care if you believe me.  This is me getting things off my heart and mind for my sake.

Old Flame:

I want to say that even with all the strength and love I have gained from restoring my relationship with my wife, I still have residual pain over loving another and the breakup that followed.  I don’t think that should be surprising or shocking as you can’t emotionally invest in someone and not have that happen.  What I find hard is not walking away from this relationship as any romantic love I had for her is gone, but mostly how it came apart and the reason why it came about.  This is one I think I am just going to have to learn to live with and pretty much learn to do it on my own.  I have had a hard time hating people for hurting me like this, but I know I can’t trust them and that makes me sad.  Mostly I get mad at both of us for taking this relationship too far.  Oddly enough, I still miss the friendship and I learned a valuable lesson on boundaries being important.

I think though this is one of those wounds that will get better with time.  I also think it will never heal completely. Mostly I have found healing here in turning my attention to my relationship with my wife and building that.

Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor

‘Friendship’ Lost: 

The second issue is I had a long time friend with my last church.  We did a lot of things together and sat next to each other for well over nine years.  We were in a small group together for the same length of time.  We knew each other very well.  Or I thought I did. The one thing I felt I could do with this person was trust them with something important and in this case my resignation.

My plan was to have my resignation read the one Sunday and then come in the next when I wasn’t feeling so emotional distraught and explain things. That never got to happen.  This person set me up.

a) They convinced me to remove all references to the reasons I was resigning – I had been involved in an inappropriate relationship.  The reasons for removal given to me were not wanting to start gossip in the church and not dragging the girl into all this. I felt the reasons he gave were solid, so I removed the references to the affair, figuring I could go in the church the next week and deal with that issue.

b) I now know the very day that I gave my ‘friend’ my revised resignation, with all references to the affair removed, he called the woman I had been involved with up and asked her permission in using her name for him to tell the story to the church.  He did that after reading my resignation.  This made it very much look like I was hiding something, and he was being the noble guy telling everyone the truth.

c) On the Monday that followed the story of what happened came to me though my mother and several others who called me. There was even a plan in place already of how the vote would take place in a few weeks to decide things. None of this was ever shared with me during the months that followed in any official capacity.  If it hadn’t been for a few members of my flock who disagreed with how things were being handled and kept me informed, I would never have known anything.

d) I texted this person and asked very simply what was going on.  That was June 5th, 2018.  I still have the text I sent.  It has never been responded to.  This person has made no effort to contact me since.  Ever.

The sad thing is that I would not have handled things this way had the roles been reversed. I would have given him two things he obviously didn’t give me.

Love – I would have given him the benefit of the doubt and certainly would have allowed him to tell his own side of things and not take it upon myself to do that.  The story that followed that I heard had definitely been blown up far bigger than it was and had obvious falsehoods. I would have made sure only established facts were told and crushed any rumors that couldn’t be verified.

Time – I would have given him time to think over things. In retrospect what I should have done is taken a week off to think things over and then resigned the following week myself in person.  That’s the time factor I am speaking of. I would have given him these two things because that’s what friends do.

I am not sure what bothers me the most, but one thing I wrestle with is whether this truly is a friendship lost or did I really have a friend there to begin with? I am beginning to think I was nothing more to this guy than an object, that when no longer usable to him and his agenda, I was discarded.  That pisses me off.  The problem is no matter how many times I pay over the scenario, I keep running into the later conclusion.  I know forgiveness is a powerful tool in recovery from things like this, but this one I haven’t forgiven yet. At least fully.

Image may contain: 1 person, text

I want to make it clear, I am not looking for vengeance and I would never hurt him physically.  That is just not me.  What is me is being patient and waiting for the wheel of time to keep turning.  If someday I get to balance the scales of justice thanks to fate, providence or karma, I will take it without hesitation. The difference will be I will stab him in the chest while looking him in the eye. Metaphorically speaking, not literally – I hope the man lives a long but miserable life.

Image may contain: 1 person, beard and text

Now before everyone lectures me about Christian forgiveness, I will remind people I am not longer religious or a Christian.  One thing I do feel is that justice should be served.  I may be a former adulterer, but I at least tried to confess it to my flock and would have if not for this man’s interference. I know he is a two-faced, backstabbing liar and that is enough for me.  I doubt he will ever admit it, so he continues to lie to cover things up.  Maybe he lies to himself more than anyone else.

On thing I do think is such a thing should come to an end as he has no honor or sense of fidelity.  I just hope I am around to see it; so I can smile as the fall takes place.  There is an old proverb – “Meditate on the bank of the river long enough, and you will see the body of your enemy floating by.”  Hopefully it is true. If you hear the sound of clapping when it happens, it will be me applauding as the body floats by.

Perhaps you are also saying I am going back on my treating people was people with this one.  I would say I am simply following Christianity here seeing he is a Christian.  I am treating him like he treated me.  That’s apparently how he wants to be treated, because that how he treated me.  As a pagan with a pagan sense of justice, I just want to see the scale balanced.

‘Few’ Goodbyes:

Oddly enough this is not the toughest thing.  It’s the lack of the ability to say goodbye to my flock that hurts the most sometimes.  Despite my struggles with faith and the affair, I still loved and cared for them like a shepherd.  Because of how this was handled by my ‘friend’, I knew there would be a lynch mob waiting for me after that if I went back.  I have been left with people contacting me and that has been few in number.  Each time it has happened though, I have had a measure of healing come into my life.

I don’t really blame them.  I know they were misinformed and tricked by someone they trust. It’s why I was fired and denied severance as well.  I let a lot of that go and because they were my sheep I loved very much; I forgive them.  The treacherous ram in the middle of them?  Well, he just showed his true colors. I never should have turned my back to him. Live and learn.

Maybe in a year or so I can go back and say goodbye to those who are still there.  By then perhaps people will have different thoughts on the whole thing.  I don’t know.  My daughter has always joked with me that she was going to throw an over the hill party when I turned 50. I guess the invite list could have a few select people from the church on it if she does. I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing some of them again.  They are good people and I miss many of them.

Conclusion:

I don’t know if this has done anything but help me get through the fog a little and see clearly my path.  You don’t get very far glancing over shoulder or looking back.  My whole thing is to identify what is weighing me down and find a way to deal with it.  Either to cast it off, change it so it isn’t so heavy or learn how to cope with it. I think writing this out and having it out there has been good for my soul.  I need that right now and this has definitely helped as I have written it.  It’s good to know your enemy and even better when part of that enemy is yourself.

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, cloud and text

Once again, my purpose here is not to stir up feelings.  If I have, I do apologize.  But I have been struggling with this for a little while now.  I have talked with my wife about it and that has helped but I needed to clear my head.   One thing that has always helped has blogging about stuff.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – End of the Semester Surge

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

As Thanksgiving approaches for those of us who are students, the end of the semester surge is upon us where we have too many papers, too many pages of reading left, too many exams to study for and too many projects.  It’s time for the end of the semester surge where we put every waking moment into getting things done. My 49-year-old super senior ass is no exception.

This one is a little different.  It’s my last one of undergrad work for this my third degree. Probably my last ever undergrad semester and to be honest, it makes me a little sad.  I have enjoyed every moment of going back to school even the hard semesters. I have discovered there is a better person here than was there three and a half years ago.  Someone who can face the tests of education in his older age and come out smiling. But most of all it has been my privileged to get to know a younger generation class after class and started me thinking very highly of them.

Most older people decry the younger generation.  The Millennials certainly seem to be a favorite punching bag of those retired and working for a living as an example of entitlement and privilege.  Lazy and naive about real life.  Unable to get out of their glass bubble and face the real world.  I have not found this to be so.  Instead I have found much my like my own generation when we were young; a group of people with diverse points view, dreams and hopes for the future. They work hard in a lot of ways and understand things that I have difficulty grasping.  Mostly I have found  group of people who care deeply about others and the world around them.  They may be different but they are no better or worse than any other generation before them.  The have the same fears and joys. they just express them differently in a different world. I have come to love and respect them,

I am also happy to be done.  I love learning but there is a time to move on and the time is now.  I don’t know completely what the future holds but I am happy for the experience of going to school again and learning.  When I walk across the platform December 15th, I know I will be the happiest I have been in a long time.  I need this achievement because it means I can still do things I want to do.  I can still set goals and achieve them.  No matter what others say, I have this confidence in myself.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I was meditating the other day and a thought came to me about my closure issues. Sometimes you don’t choose when a door gets shut, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk through it again. When it comes to the past I guess this is something to take to heart. I can’t let the past’s open doors be a hindrance to finding new doors to open. Closure will come in its own good time. Honor does not depend on closure, it depends on being positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The end of school is fast approaching so the act of bravery that I am contemplating is dusting off my resume and sending it out at month’s end.  I haven’t looked for a new career in a long time.  Note I said career and not job.  I am not sure what occupation I want to be yet.  In that respects I am still a typical college student.  I want to find something that is a career I can enjoy and that leads to better and better things for me and my wife.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is anything that bothers me from time to time it’s when people tell me what they were told that I did and it is far from the truth. This still bothers me, but the rumor mill is what it is.  My question I constantly ask myself is if it is worth it to respond.  My answer is most often ‘No.’  Mostly becasue any person who is just rumor mongering about me isn’t worth the time.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Very solid and the meditation time is more formal. I have it take my phone and it’s stopwatch for it.  Three minutes is usually enough. Once school is done, there might be some changes to it as far as additions but perhaps I would be better served with an evening routine. I have just never had a lot of success with those.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

The more I look at things on this Bucket List, I am thinking my tattoos might be the first thing or at least get the first couple.  Getting drunk and smoking a joint I might keep for a special occasion of some sort.  Writing my Novel will probably start as soon as school is over and I am thinking spend an hour on it minimum as part of the daily routine will replace my study time. Many of the other ones are going to require prosperity.  My wife wants to go on a cruise, I would like it to be a European river cruise that stops in Budapest.

Weightlifting:

The gym question remains.  Much is unknown so I need a gym that will go month to month, but I also have little reason once school is over to drive into the town when my current gym is. It might mean switching to a gym where I currently work and then waiting and seeing what happens to the job situation. For that purpose I have fund a smaller gym in the city I work and that might do very well for me.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Stan Lee – Being a Writer

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

See the source image

Seems like every time I turn around here some great icon I love has died and this week its a man who probably inspired my imagination more than any other during his life. Mostly because he has been around from the beginning.  Spider-Man was to be my favorite comic character for his human struggles, snappy sarcastic wit and he was just plain cool.  But I also found myself reading Stan’s editorial comments in his comic books and discovered a man who was inspiring in his imagination and advice to writers and aspiring comic book artists.  This session of the Pagan Pulpit salutes Marvel Comics’ heart and soul – Stan Lee (1922-2018) – RIP.

Opening Song: Spider Man Theme Song 1960s

A song from my childhood and one that celebrates probably the best comic character of all time. It may be a cheesy song from the 1960s but that was normal back then.  In any case, my Saturday morning cartoons were dotted with comic book super heroes and Spidey was one of them.  Stan’s ultimate genius was a character that was real as a person but super as a hero.

Poem:

Image may contain: 1 person, sunglasses and text

This poem went viral when Stan wrote it. He released it about two years ago.  It speaks for itself.  Stan was a pretty standard poet.  His words however were anything but normal or standard.

Meditation:

See the source image

Song of Preparation: X-Men Opening Theme

More cartoon stuff but from my teen age to early twenties (yes, I read comics and watched super hero cartoons well into adulthood).  The X-Men were favorites of mine with the underlying tone of them being a call against racism. Stan Lee had a way of letting his characters not only be real, but also they addressed tough issues and the X-Men and its mutants were one of those groups that addressed a hard social issue. Particularly what society does with those that are perceived to be monsters or outcasts.

Text:

“The only advice anyone can give is, if you want to be a writer. keep writing.  And read all you can, read everything.”

Sermon:

Writing is one of my passions of course.  People who talk about writing get my attention.  In truth one of my early instructors was Stan Lee.  Not just through reading his comics but he would have an editorial at the beginning of every comic I read specifically to that group or character.  I loved every moment of reading those.  I mean my friends would read comics but I think I was the only one in my group of friends reading the editorial notes and thinking about how the comics were produced.  The one message that came through is that everything started with a great story.

This is still true.  We have digitized just about everything, but the imagination that casts the original story is still in the writer. It wasn’t the super powers that caught my attention, it was the characters and the story they were in and Stan Lee recognized this.  That’s why his characters and stories survived while many other comics died and disappeared. No matter how cool your graphics, if the story sucks or the people can’t relate to the characters, people will not read it.

You have to be real when you write.  Stan had this thing for the real.  His most famous quote about this is that when it came to comic books he felt they were like boobs. They might look great on a computer, but he would rather have them in his hand.  I concur with this observation and I still feel the same way bout books and other things I read.  I like to sit in a chair and read them and I feel they should sit in my hand as real objects that books, comic books or magazines.  I also feel the same about boobs as well.  Some things have more reality than others.  The more senses you use the more real things seem.

The advice Stan gives to writers is two-fold – 1) Never stop writing.  Keep doing it.  2) Read everything you can.  Not unique perhaps but when you hear enough successful writers say this you begin to realize it is probably true.   As I am now considering writing as a career path, the advice seems more applicable.   It’s advice I will take to heart for the rest of my life.

See the source image

Closing Song: Avengers – Earth’s Mightiest Heroes – Theme Song:

If the X-Men took on racism, just about every issue along with that one, the Avengers addressed.  One of my favorite groups because the cast of characters was constantly revolving and changing,  It introduced me to a lot of characters and character development and as a writer I love that.

See the source image

Stan Lee, you cannot know how many of us loved your work.  You were more than a comic book artist or entertainer.  You were a person who inspired many of us to believe that a better humanity was possible.  That no matter how dark the evil might be, heroes would rise up from the human race and fight it. It was this notion that kept many of us from going off the deep end.  Your work inspired my imagination and for that I will always be grateful.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!