“One Business Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

I have one major business goal left. It is pretty key so I am not diminishing it in my mind and from a confidence point of view, I am sure I need it to bolster my level of self-value at this point.

Getting a job that is better paying and is new to me at least is important from the standpoint of putting myself into a position of self-reliance and independence.  Things I consider very important as far as virtue is concerned. I would consider this goal completed if the job changes in nature and I gain more money by doing so.

People ask why I seem more fascinated by this kind of monetary prosperity and I would say that I am. My reasons are personal in that ministry makes you dependent on others for your financial support in higher ways than other jobs. I want to shake that off and start rising above the poverty mind of the ministry.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

It really is about starting to be my own master and the author of my own fate.   This goal is key to that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

The finishing of my degree in political science was one of the great moments of my life.  I just seem to be struggling with how to best utilize the knowledge. But it reminds me that goals can be achieved.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

By joining the Clergy Project I have joined a wonderful support group that has given me resources that I would never have received otherwise.  It has given me a lot of personal hope that life does have good people in it and the support I have received has been wonderful.  This was a kind of an unexpected surprise, to be honest. But also a welcome one.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I have to deal with issues of justice all the time but my goals have made them easier. The fact that I still move forward and make progress is something I can say makes my thoughts about past harmful actions done by both myself and others toward me much easier.  The progress here has not been about forgiveness so much as each goal is achieved the consequences others tried to visit on me become more laughable.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.

I want this to be better.  When I follow it, the day seems to go much better.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Business – Broadly Defined” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

Business for me is much more broadly defined than career or about monetary transactions.  It is about my relationships with others. My business is probably more defined as being humankind and how I deal with it.  In the end, I keep my circle small for this reason.

The principles n business are to be my own master, work hard for that end and then share my prosperity with others as I am able.  Not difficult to conceive but right now a struggle because I want more and some better opportunities to do more.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

No gods, no masters – It is more than just a slogan to me personally.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I do enjoy working, I just don’t like my current job and want a different one.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

Need more abundance to share which means things need to change for the better soon.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

This issue in business overall is to act justly toward others as much as possible.  To be fair to everyone as much as I am able.  Challenging but necessary.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.

I like this, it works well when I do it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Learning to Dream Again” – A Skald’s Life -Business Virtues

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

I spoke with my job counselor yesterday and said something along the lines that I never thought I would be asking the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up at 50 years old.  She told me I was doing fine and that it was far more normal than most people think.  We are living longer and the notion of doing only one thing for all one’s life is fading fast. People have a chance to dream multiple times not just once.

I only have one goal left under business and it is the big one. – finding a new, better paying job by March 2020.  It is essential to some of my other goals. Thankfully through The Clergy Project, I finally have some help and I have decided to approach the goal more organically and figure out what it is my dream for me again.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

So what is my dream for me?  That is the question but now I have more than the question but an actual plan of how to answer it. This is generating a little bit more hope than usual and that is a good thing.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

Goal Achieved

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

Goal Achieved

Higher Virtue – Justice:

If I get a job where I am doing better than I ever was in the ministry would be the first step to finding justice for myself.  I may never see the people who wronged me face consequences for their actions, but if I find some prosperity after all wasted sacrifices for others, then I will feel some sense of justice has come to me.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I need to focus on these routines better so probably I will be moving fro ma four-week rotation on these journal posts to a five-week with the added week focusing on the routines to modify them.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“True Satisfaction” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

I guess coming off industriousness yesterday that is still a theme running in my head. Most notably, that I need to get a little more aggressive in going after what I want asf ar as goals.  I no longer believe that ‘godliness with contentment is great gain’.  That’s a good saying to keep the masses under control, but it is not true.  Mostly, those that work hard, focus on their goals and go after them that are successful.

Reviewing my goals is the issue this week for A Skald’s Life and thankfully there are fewer of them.  Down to five left and so that means I can focus more time on each one of them. Hopefully, the help I receive now will aid in that as well.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Crossing something off my bucket list is easily down with a small significant amount of cash to get a tattoo. A new job would go a long way toward this and that is one of my other goals.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

If I stick with my word count for the rest of the year, one book will be finished in all probability by March.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Much fo my counseling and talk about a career is about finding a new identity.  Every time a goal falls off I feel a little love for myself and I know this overall theme of finding identity is wrapped up in a lot of goals for the year.  I may be a wanderer of life, but I need mile markers to tell me I have passed a certain direction with progress.  This is key to loving myself and so goals are a necessary and important tool.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I need to get back to his more consistently.  It seems like my discipline these days waxes and wains and that is symptomatic of The Grey.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Industriousness, Atheism, and Asatru” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Industriousness

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

The heart and soul of industriousness is having a strong purpose.  Working with a purpose in mind usually means better work that is also done with a lot more joy.  Building something or accomplishing a goal that lines up with an overall purpose gives great satisfaction to any person.

My atheism does not change much here other than the purpose I have is not defined by anyone else.  The only one who can define this is me.  No gods, no masters.  Just me being in charge of my life’s purpose and executing it through hard work.

I can, as Asatru encourages, enjoy work for work’s sake.  I do find some joy in trying to approach any job trying to do it in a way that is more efficient than last time.  There is however a need now that I am no longer a pastor and Christian to redefine my purpose and make it strong. I have been engaged in this for some time but I think I am getting closer to fully understanding my purpose now.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

 

Needs (Geri):

I need purpose so my work has focus. Industriousness might tell me to work hard for the simple understanding of survival but there is prosperity I am after as well.  Not just a prosperity of possessions but the prosperity of mind and heart I am after as well.  There was a day in 2018, I thought I had found it and I have never felt more on top of the world, then it was gone. I need that back again.

Wants (Freki):

I want this because it keeps the Grey at a distance and allows me to look at life in a more positive light.  Talent gets beat my hard work if the talent does not work hard. At the same time talent coupled with hard work is unstoppable. I need to find my talents outside ministry and embrace them and work hard to make them work better.  I think writing is one of them, but I think I have others. I want to discover them and make them work for me.

Reason (Huginn):

I guess the biggest thing about being a person of reason is to note that those who are successful in some way work hard. Even if you were born with the highest level of privilege in life, it isn’t going to be better or larger unless you work hard to make it so.  It takes thinking and vision to make something better otherwise it just stagnates and dies.

Wisdom (Muninn):

The wisdom of working hard is noted in probably every philosophy and religion of note. However, like many things, this is simply those philosophies and religions borrowing something man has discovered by living life. Industriousness, as a virtue, works as hard as it demands you work.

Conclusion:

I don’t have a problem working hard even as an atheist.  My struggle is after so long letting another philosophy tell me what my purpose was, I now have to figure it out for myself.  I do however think the answer is found in working hard to find it.  Not hoping it falls out of the sky.  I suspect once I have found it, it will be the most wonderful thing for me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Rogue Wizard Delay and Other Notes” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 23

Happy Sols’ Day!

Rogue Wizard Delay:

No, it is not an accident there is a delay in the next chapter of Rogue Wizard and this is a The Grey and The Wayfarer post for The Rabyd Skald.  It’s connected to the fact that the more I think about writing this next chapter, the more the Grey seems to hit me.  It seems to be one of those moments where I have a choice about facing the Grey and walking through it – it needs to be done.  But when I do this is up to me.

Writing is therapy for me, as many of you know.  Sometimes it is unpleasant and has to be done. Other times it flows.  I this case I know what I want to do and what should be done and they are the same. The problem is the process of writing is going to be an emotional roller coaster. So I am having trouble,  but I will have it done by next week but not this week. Apologies.

Support Group:

My support group is working out very well. I mean it is great to have fellow former clergy to talk to who are also non-believers in anything.  It makes everyone relatable and a lot of them have been through the process and at a later age than me so they help out a lot in keeping my feet on the ground and standing.

My Therapist: 

My therapist and I have had two sessions.  Doing it on Skype allows me to see her and she can see me so it gives me a genuine reactions both ways.  She is a good listener and hasn’t been judgmental at all.  Mostly though she has listened to me and thinks that next session we can start working on a plan.  The main two issues I deal with on this level are my change of identity and my marriage.

Job Coach: 

Through The Clergy Project, I also have job help for my career change.  I decided that even though I could use a new job soon to go more organic and find what fits me as well.  I don’t want to be doing a job I hate just to pay the bills anymore. So what do I enjoy and can make money at the same time is a journey of discovery and my job coach is taking me on and she is really thinking January or February which still is within my goal of having this done by March.

Reading List:

I was reminded by my wife that there are many books on my shelf that I have not read and should read them. So new books only when needed to keep the pattern of a non-fiction book; then a fiction book.  I haven’t been doing well on this yet, but I have started. Mostly though it is going to be a process of going through my library and pulling out things I haven’t read and putting them together to work through the rest of this year and next.

Writing Books:

I have come to the conclusion that I need to do my book writing like I do this blog.  I need about 3-5 projects at once and rotate them so boredom does not set in. Basically, I have three non-fiction books and two fiction in the hopper now.  I try to make progress on one or more every day.  It is the word count that matters.

Final Word:

Thanks for everyone’s patience.  My emotions tend to dominate my writing more than other things in my life. I have been able to be consistent on this blog, but other things need consistency too. Thanks for reading.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“An Atheist/Pagan Thanksgiving?” – Odin’s Eye

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

There is no Norse correlation to the American Thanksgiving Holiday.  There is really no holiday at all from a Norse perspective at the end of November and the next holiday that would qualify would be Yule which is the last twelve days of December.  So what meaning could Thanksgiving have for an atheist/pagan?  Honestly, I think it is a nice celebration but it is the term ‘thanksgiving’ that gets me now – thankful to who? The implication is that there is an Invisible Sky Dad to be thankful to for stuff we have and we pause to give thanks to him. As an atheist, yeah no.

My pagan side centers on The Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru, being connected as possible to my heritage and family roots, and celebration of holidays that are based on the seasonal changes of the year.  Thanksgiving isn’t about any of that.  From my perspective as a harvest festival, it’s a little late in the northern clime where I live. Shit, we have had some snow already and most farmers have put away their shit for winter.

Image may contain: one or more people, text and outdoor

If I am going to be thankful then, I am going to center on people and things that actually exist.  Notably, other people in my life that have actually done something to help me or make my life better.  Family, freinds and the people that created and founded this country on secular principles. It is after all a national holiday.

One note before we look through the eye – in concerning the former filter I had known as Faith – it is gone and I have decided not to replace it with something else.  Probably this is the best symbolism I can make concerning this issue.  One less cloudy filter to look through.  Live is mysterious enough without religion and faith to further muddy my vision.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

Being thankful is probably more a part of the virtue of Hospitality, so it becomes a matter of who would one invite and show hospitality to as an expression of that thankfulness.  This is a matter for meditation but it ends with the people who have made decisions that have actually benefited my life. There is quite a list to lift a mug of mead to in that regard. Not just living today but in the past.  Ancestors both biological and philosophical that in the end revolutionized the world I live in right now.

Mystery:

I don’t think the mystery is so much divine any more to me but the question of who my ancestors actually were and what influence they had on my life.  There is a lot of unknowns that need to be discovered and I anxiously await the means to do so. If there is a legacy to be left to my grandchildren, it is to pull back the veil here and see the truth of who I am.

Spirituality:

The spirituality I can see with Thanksgiving is at some point my family will gather, we will share and meal and drink and talk about old times.  It’s the connections we have that make it a spiritual occasion.  Of course, I have to work that day but that isn’t my employer’s fault.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text that says 'austin @outsinned Ppl will really b like "omg cant believe I you have to work on thanksgiving, you should be home with you family!" While I'm scanning their shit like??? You're the fucking reason Karen Go home'

Conclusion:

I work in retail so I will be from noon till 9 pm on Thursday at work doing the initial Black “Friday” sales. I always find this an interesting study in human behavior.  People decry that we have to work and should be home like everyone else, while they are shopping on the very day.  If companies didn’t make money because no one showed up on principle, they wouldn’t do it. I suppose this is the best I can say for Thanksgiving – let the Christmas shopping begin.  Salute to all my brothers and sisters working this holiday season in retail – “May the odds be ever in your favor”.

See the source image

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Crossing Off Another Goal” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I wasn’t really looking for a new support group per se.  Being part of a group is something I have wanted for a while.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted other than since departing from my church my social life has taken a major downturn but more importantly finding people to talk to who know what you have been through is very difficult when you are a former pastor and now confirmed atheist.

I talked about the Clergy project a few days ago and after joining I can say it is what I was looking for.  It also has a few resources I need as far as a business – counseling to get my head on straight again and they have help in finding a good job so that might be useful.  mostly though it is nice to at least forum talk to people who have been there.

The main thing is that I have a goal to cross off below.  4 down, 5 to go.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

I have started to realize that my nature to be an advocate for something might fit well with any not-for-profit that is about advocating for a political cause that involves freedom. It is along these lines that my new job and my principle might join together and it is those moments I love.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I enjoy the people I work with now and the work isn’t that hard, to be honest.  It is just, as I tried to explain to someone using football (American) as an analogy, my wife and I are in the mid-third quarter and down by 35.  We need to engage some serious offense and flawless defense for the next 15-20 years or we are not going to win this retirement thing. I also would like a job I enjoy more. This one can be physically challenging at moments, but mentally I am bored out of my skull most days.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

The other nice thing about achieving this goal is that I will have some opportunities to take my experience and help someone else.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I can say one thing for sure.  Justice would be best served on all those who wronged me if I was successful at transitioning and still had a great life.  At that point, I could say – ‘fuck’em’ and move on. I guess I feel that this will be an issue with me for some time.  Like some of them, in particular, the Dirty Pig, got the better of me until I become more prosperous and have moved on with something better.  Then justice will at least be starting to turn its wheels for me.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 2000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I made some changes to the routine to reflect the goals: 2000 words of writing a day and 1/7th of a book a day to start training for the goals for next year and NaNoWriMo in a few days.  November 1st I need to bear down and get going.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Borrowing Perseverance” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

Perseverance is a Self Virtue in my system but I need to borrow it for business for a bit.  Mostly there have been new rounds of rejections for jobs and I need to take a deep breath and go at it again.  My issue is that this is a little discouraging and I am trying not to let it bring on The Grey right now and that means getting up and continuing to go forward.

I am thinking of another angle as well.  I am very much upset about the amount of time I wasted on something that was very false and phony as a career now.  I see Christianity for what it really is – one of the most colossal frauds ever.  It wouldn’t; bothe me so much but I wasted probably my most energetic and productive years doing ministry as a Christian pastor and now have to find a new way forward.  I decided given my atheism to join The Clergy Project, a support group for ministers who have no belief in god anymore.  I am hoping to find the connections I need to move forward a little better.

My Business Virtues are about being independent, hard-working and hospitable with the excess of my prosperity. The job I need has a  few requirements but most notably that it has to allow me to write and to be active in things as well as making me a little more money than I am now.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2019.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

I believe in liberty and freedom not just for myself but for anyone.  I believe in freethought being the way to liberty.  If I could find something that allows me to advocate for this, that would be awesome.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

GoalFinalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

I always enjoy working.  I enjoy coming home afterward too but the work causes me to appreciate the downtime more.  I like to be efficient and some of the things that bother me at work are when I can see things are not efficient and there is no way to fix it.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I have no aversion to helping others, I just lack the means to do so and the cause that would be something that would help me focus on what I want to do in this regard.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

It’s all about being just in every relationship I have. At least, just on my side of things.  My part fo the relationship needs to be me acting as fairly and justly as possible depending on what happens in each one.  A simple goal but difficult to achieve.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: Half-Hour on top of the blogging routine each day. Alternate between Non-Fiction Book and Novel.
  6. Reading – 1 chapter min.
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  9. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Grey Revelations?” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 22

Happy Sif’s Day. 

The scattered Grey showers continue.  That said, I am getting more of a handle on them.  The triggers are pretty well known by now and I know how to deal with most of them. Mostly, I have been thinking, researching and meditating on what The Grey is?

I don’t know if I am right about this but The Grey seems to be more of a state between feeling nothing and being depressed.  If that makes any sense.  it is a protective state to keep me from feeling the sadness of depression but it still has the element of depression that is ‘loss of interest.  The other quality it has is that I do not give one shit about anyone else.  I am wondering if this is a counter safeguard my mind goes into when I have hit my psychological limit of not taking care of myself and being more concerned about others than myself. So The Grey puts me in a state where I am completely self-centered but not sad; but also restless and bored.  I hope I am wrong because that sounds like a state of mind I wouldn’t wish on even my enemies.  Dangerous and reckless.

I suppose the alternative is to be sad, tired and/or burning angry.

In other news:

  1. I am totally frustrated with the job hunt right now.  No one is even calling me and that is probably the product having lost so many contacts.  Every job I have gotten I have known someone and applying blind is difficult.  If the fuckers at my church hadn’t fired me, I might have had a connection there with someone else to get another job or at least I could put it on my resume as my last job.  It really puts a hole in my resume.  It might be Ok in another year or two but I don’t have a year or two.
  2. Love is frustrating as well.  I have identified that my wife and I have a trust-love but Miss Salty and I had a passion-love.  The problem is I want both. My INFJ idealism kicks in and says why can’t you have a high level of trust and passion in a love relationship. I was thinking about my series Rogue Wizard and there is the same theme. Lunette (passion) / Amber (trust).  It is all over the place with me and having only one or the other just makes it difficult for me inside my head.
  3. Writing seems to be the only solace I have these days. The Blog, my books in their raw form do provide some sense of stability in my head. The other thing is the weights, hiking and getting healthier. There is a part of me that just wants to dive into this and disappear.  My own world in my head is far superior to the real one.
  4. I am still adjusting my thoughts and emotions to my lack of any faith in any god.  I have no imaginary friend to talk to and that is liberating on the one hand but it means a level of self-reliance I have not experienced before and it is scary intoxicating.

I am not fond of the cards I am holding right now. I still am obligated to play the hell out of them though until the next shuffle.  Hopefuly that is soon.  I miss clear skies and having a strong hand.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!