Wisdom

Perhaps I Still am The Grey Wayfarer after All.

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

I have been gone a while – again. But I guess, in some regards, success of a limited kind lulled me into a false sense of security. But Yesterday hit me with a lot of sudden anxiety and the depression that follows. It’s been building, but I have always, until now, been able to ignore it or put it on hold, so to speak. The Grey has long been my relabeling of a condition that I possess, which is this mixture of anxiety and depression that I seem always to be walking through and battling. Thus, the blog name: The Grey Wayfarer.

These last few months, I have felt really good in many ways. My YouTube Channel, The Rabyd Atheist, has actually developed into a supportive community and is doing well, but it could be doing better. I have almost given up on getting a promotion at work. And have, for the first time, explored my options for other employment, and it doesn’t look good. I really have put myself in a position, if I want to stay close to my family, of making writing and YouTube work along with my job. It is just that I feel a low level of anxiety about the whole thing.

Picture, if you will, a man clad in grey walking through a forest. He is accompanied by his wolves and ravens. The rain is pouring down in that way that creates gloom, and the forest shadows cause a lot of anxiety. Despite the ravens, some things still hide from view. The rain washes away the scent of danger, so the wolves cannot anticipate what’s next as the patter of the rain disguises sounds as well. The path gets flooded, and so at the various forks in the road, it is hard to see which is the best route. The Man is not lost, but conflicted. His lack of information and foresight is blinding his one eye. His own foresight sees only possibilities but not certainty.

Some of you may recognize the other part of The Grey Wayfarer – My identification in spirit with the wandering god, Odin the All-Father. But the analogy is fitting in many ways. Odin’s reputation is mixed. He is not always the good guy. Nor is he bad. Depending on who you talk to, I am a hero or a villain. I accept this; it is life. For the longest time, my wolves have been a reflection of my needs and desires and my hunger for them to be fulfilled. My ravens – reason and wisdom. My path – the Nine Noble Virtues. As a Wayfarer, minimalism is my habit. One’s pack cannot be too heavy. My one eye remains because I sacrificed my old life of religion, faith, and all the BS that comes with it, to find a truer sight in my mind and heart. The one eye I have left seeks love, wisdom, and justice. But confound it, the rain and gloom are making all of this hard.

I never know precisely what will trip me over back into this, and perhaps it has been long in coming. Autistic Masking has been my trouble, and I think I have been masking my own emotions from myself. Is that possible?

But yesterday, I found myself spending the day alone and hating every moment of it. I then tried to do laundry, and my car wouldn’t start. I think the battery has finally started to lose the battle of keeping a charge. My son jumped me, so it started, and for a while was fine. Until I had to go to work, then it did it again. So I had to call into work, and I really can’t afford to do that. And then, as I went back inside, planning to get a new battery somehow, I tripped. I fell into a state of anxiety I haven’t felt in a long time. My stoic philosophy was saying “control what you can control,” but the emotions of looking at my car troubles, being alone to face them, and looking at the financial issues of my life right now, and I tripped and fell, and when I got up, The Grey was there, and I stood there wondering what to do. Anxiety about the future mixed with that low, gloomy depression was a state I thought long forgotten.

As I write this, I look at the clock and realize I was there for roughly five hours – I took a nap (not the restful kind), tried unsuccessfully to be creative, sat staring at a screen, and doomscrolling. Then doing nothing at all. And then it hit me. I have been pretending that I finally got out of The Grey to the point that I have not been doing the things I need to do to walk successfully through it. I labelled it as something of my past and not the present. It’s a horrible mistake to think things are all right when they are not.

I forgot a simple truth – depression and anxiety are something you can manage but can never cure. I will always be The Grey Wayfarer. I have to remember this to survive.

Let’s picture our hero in his gloomy, rainy forest once again. He is standing. No progress is being made. Stagnation. But then he takes a step and then another. There is something I have learned in all the walking I have done. Something I need to get back to once the temperatures get regularly above freezing. There is a moment when you are motivated to keep walking and cannot, for the life of you, figure out where the motivation comes from. It’s raw humanity that is, in many ways, undescribable. I feel like I am at that moment.

So I take a step and another. I don’t really care what th path is, just that I am moving down it once again.

The one thing that is for sure is…

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – “Nine to Three to One”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

When I first started this blog I would talk about the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and then talk about the three higher vitrues of Love, Justice and Wisdom. I still beleive in these higher virtues I will jsut talk about to them less becasue as I have tried ot live my life by the NNV I now recognize that these higher virtues simply are more and more just a result of living the NNV. It’s simply a matter of growth.

This has led me to seeing that all virtues in the NNV form the threefold cord of Justice, Love and Wisdom. These three virtues form the Noble Life. This is the one goal – a life that is lived in nobility of character and humanity. The Nine form the Three and the three twist into the life that is lived in nobility. A Noble Life is the ultimate goal of the NNV.

The big thing for me as why I follow this philosophy is that anyone can do this. Wealth or skill or experience does not matter. What matters is that one pursue virtues to get to the noble life lived. Nine to three to one.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Norse Mythology – Hugin and Munin (Odin’s Ravens)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Of course, the image of Odin is not complete without some references to some of the creatures and objects associated with him. The first I would like to highlight is Odin’s ravens Hugin and Munin. Thought and Memory, Reason and Experience, or whatever similar combinations you can give them.

The purpose of their existence for Odin is to search the earth and then report back to Odin what they see. Based on this Odin then sets his plans and his wonderings. For all practical purposes, they are Odin’s scouts.

Ravens were used by Vikings for a lot of things but one thing is for certain their behavior was watched and the Norse people and Vikings used them to tell certain things about what was going on around them. Raven could sense land and be often released from ships to be followed so the Vikings would know which way to go when they neared land.

Symbolically Hugin and Munin could be considered the scouts of the human mind. The idea for me is that if one uses Reason and Experience effectively, then one can see a clear path ahead in order to navigate to get what one wants. Pursuit of what you Need and Want requires good reconisance and that for the human being is performed by one’s mind through reason and filtering it all through experience.

Of course, you then need the drive to pursue what you need and want. But that is the subject for next week’s post on Norse Mythology.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Solitary” – A Poem

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

“Solitary” – A Poem

I travel the world alone

Solitary

I search and wander

Solitary

I am not lost

Solitary

I look for knowledge and wisdom

Solitary

To protect what I love

Solitary

But I do it alone

Solitary

Because none but me should bear the cost.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Nine Noble Virtues – Interconnected

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) each have their own purpose. The surprising thing is how much they overlap and often two or more virtues work in you t the same time. Discipline, Industriousness, and Self-Reliance often work together to bring prosperity into one’s life. Fidelity and Self-Reliance provide a balance between not being a burden to others while at the same time being a support to family and friends.

For me, there have been other aspects. I used to group the virtues by function in the past, and I no longer do that. The idea that some virtues are more in tune with love or justice or wisdom was something I thought until I realized that by living the nine virtues, all nine lead to being a person with these qualities. It’s a simple change, but in my meditations, I realize truth can be about love, justice, or wisdom. sometimes all three at once. I realized I was limiting what each virtue could do by such assumptions and categories.

This actually simplified things rather than complicated them. I now can meditate on the NNV without really keeping each one of them in a box. I don;t have to have a filter as to where they must go. Life meets virtue and what virtue might be the most helpful at that moment could be any one of them. It’s both freeing and simplified.

I find myself these days meditating on this interconnectedness far more than each virtue on its own. How do they twist into that cord or symbol that is the whole of being a virtuous person? It’s refreshing in some ways.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Norse Mythology – Odin

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

I want it to be very clear here that as an atheist I do not believe in the literal god Odin. However, I believe the values and aspirations of the Norse/Germanic people are expressed in the stories they tell about their gods. Mythology, if nothing else, is mostly stories that have moral and ethical lessons to them. Things to meditate on and learn the values presented. In all mythology the values of the people who created the mythology are evident.

Odin has always fascinated me. Sure most people look at Thor and think what a cool God. But Thor is a pure warrior with very little magic. Odin on the other hand not only has magic but the magic that is often reserved for women. He has foresight. It is this foresight that drives him to do what he does. He either is trying to prevent what he sees from happening or trying to delay it. He is both a warrior and a mage.

In simple terms, Odin is a conservative in that he tries to conserve the nine worlds as they are and prevent their end. He likes the current state of things and wants to keep it intact. Ragnarok isn’t the end of existence so much as it is a complete change of existence and that is what he is trying to avoid.

To this end, he wanders the world as a solitary person looking for wisdom, power, and knowledge to forestall Ragnarok. He is so dedicated, that he loses an eye, hangs on a tree upside down for nine days, etc. He makes extraordinary sacrifices to conserve what is. To protect what is his own.

In leadership, Odin is different from most chief gods in that he seems to be more of a chairman of the board than a king. He listens to the other gods, tries to build concensus, and then enforces the decision they all made together. In this last part, he acts more like a king. He makes sure ‘the will of the gods’ as a whole is respected and honored.

He has his flaws. He doesn’t seem to think of the possibility that at times his actions might be bringing about the ends he is trying to avoid. The whole story of Fenrir illustrates this point. He foresees his end in the fangs of Fenrir so he tries to take action to diminish Fenrir’s power. In so doing, he actually creates Fenrir’s motivation to destroy him. It also has an incredible cost that could have been avoided -Tyr’s hand is lost. If he rather befriended Fenrir, the outcome might have been very different.

Of course, for me, the image of the wandering god both warrior and wizard is the theme of this blog so it is fitting I talk about him first.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Wayfarer”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Wayfarer

Alone he walks

The snow crunches

beneath his feet.

He is the Wayfarer

The Walker of Paths

He wanders

But he is not lost.

He seeks

He looks for the wisdom

Of the old, the new

And his fellow travelers

Spear in hand for protection

His friends

Two ravens, Two wolves.

He wanders

He walks

He is the Wayfarer

Author’s commentary:

I fell in love with the imagery of Odin a long time ago. I however didn’t realize that is what the original myth was that I was enjoying because I was reading Lord of the Rings and the character was Gandalf, the Grey. But Tolkien took his inspiration from mythology and in this case Odin.

When I finally did get to Norse mythology as a teen the image of Odin appealed to me. The man leading his people trying to delay his fate and the fate of the Nine Worlds. Trying to delay Ragnorok. Warrior and Wizard all in one. The interesting thing is he doesn’t go out and build an army to fight but takes the role of a humble traveler looking not for strength, but knowledge.

I take for myself the moniker The Grey Wayfarer in honor of this inspiration and in truth this was my inspiration not just for this blog but also for some of my interests. I am a scholar and teacher but I lift weights with a warrior’s mind and discipline. I hike, you don’t get much more Wayfarer than that. I guess I came to see my self-image resonate with this image and this poem is a reflection of that.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Yes, I Still Follow the Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

I still follow the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV). I feel that following a system or code of virtue is far more valuable than following a religion or spiritualism because the results are far more tangible. Real-world application to life is far more important to me than it used to be when I was religious. Application to every day is what matters. The NNV provide that, as they transcend religions and theoretical philosophies. Simply put, they work.

Every Virtue has a real-world expression. They also combine to provide different expressions. Industriousness needs courage at times to lead to success as one faces risk while working at something with a good attitude about work. Can anyone not see the connection between honor and truth? For me, by following the NNV I end up with a life that expresses itself with love, justice, and wisdom. Qualities that no decent person should fault anyone for.

I simply remind everyone who reads this blog that much of what it means to me to be The Grey Wayfarer is to follow this philosophy – the Nine Nobel Virtues. It is something that guides my decisions and thoughts and I will write on it fairly often.

Thanks for stopping by.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“The Nine Noble Virtues and Me” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

Given all the changes to my posting habits on this blog this necessitates a restart of my philosophical rotation but it is more than this as I am also rewriting the Nine Noble virtues by combining them with my principles.  The idea is to make the virtues more active and to streamline things from a simplicity perspective.

I think the whole idea of virtue, principles, goals and bucket list item is a little umbersome and as I get older simplicity is something I want and need for my life to be a smoother.

I am going to combine my virtues and principles and then havea goal with each one as before. But I am going to shorten my bucket list to five items and then act toward them.  When one gets accomplished one immediately takes its place.

In any case the Nine Noble Virutes are still important to me and central to my philosophy of life.  It’s what makes me a Pagan Atheist rather thna just an atheist.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

A man needs a code and the Nine Noble Virtues form that for me.  The only thing I am reacting to is my need ot make them more persoanl and a reflection of my values as well.

Wants (Freki):

I want them to be more active and less passive.  Virtue should call one to action.  Originally, I used my principles for this but now I see the need to write the Virutes more in my own words with my own principles entwined bringing activity to them.

Reason (Huginn):

Once I again I am engaging the one great trait of man that has led to our survival – reason.  Passion is great hen reasonably directed and the NNV give me that direction to my passions by bringing both them and my reason togather.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find a great deal of wisdom in having a framework for my decision making processes and overll life philosophy   The NNV have for the last two years provided that framework and I have enjoyed every single moment of wrestling with it and will continue to do so for many years to come.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

I have found that meditating on virtues in general have been beneficial over thse last two years by keeping me grounded in what is important.  Focus is key and the NNV have been that mental focus.

Mystery:

The NNV provide that guidance I need when the unknown happens or confronts me. It means a lot of decisions are based on character rather thna the feelings of the moment.

Spirituality:

If I have a spirituality as an Atheist, it is the NNV.  This is the spirituality of heritage and philosophy of life.

Conclusion:

Ove the next nine weeks i will be engaigng the process of combining my virutes and principles and giving each a goal. I will focus on my bucket list.  The key words are streamlining and simplification.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Combining Philosophy and Spirituality” – Of Wolves and Ravens

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day

Discussion:

I wanted to free up a post to do some more fiction writing and felt that the best option each week was to combine Of Wolves and Ravens and Odin’s Eye. In large part, this also salves another problem which is that my spirituality as an atheist starts waxing more philosophical anyway.

Odin’s Eye was slowly running its course as post series in any case.  Now basically I will in addition to considering a philosophical element of my personal philosophy I will be looking at ist through ‘spiritual’ eyes as well. A merger which I think will make more sense overall.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

By doing this I address two needs and it works to unify my view of the world and life and general

Wants (Freki):

I want to write fiction again but I don’t want to add one more post a week.  This solves the problem quite well. Now Odin’s Day will be dedicated to new series which I am still thinking about but also my thoughts regarding philosophy and spirituality are merged.  This needs to happen and I want it to happen.

Reason (Huginn):

Rationally, I think the whole idea of spirituality needed to be merged.  I just don’t look at this in a spiritual way anymore. More like a ‘spiritual’ extension of my philosophy.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find wisdom in this simple fact, I will not be overextending myself at a time when I really cannot afford to do so. I have a lot to do in the coming months and this blog needs to be a part of it as far as stabilizing my thoughts not a burden of too much writing.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

For me, spirituality now consisted of meditating on my philosophy and seeing some intuitive applications. Reflecting on these meditations should prove beneficial.

Mystery:

Despite the fact that my philosophy tends to be more concrete in my mind.  There is still an element of mystery to life that must be considered in all things.

Spirituality:

All philosophy also has relationships with others which is also a form of spirituality to me these days.  So there are some spiritual aspects to consider.

Conclusion:

I am doing a complete restart on my philosophy and returning to side A because of this change.  I need to reconsider everything fro the top with this new mindset.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!