Relationships

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Eating the Elephant

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I looked at the task of aligning my Virtues, Principles, Goals and Bucket List I realized this is and elephant sized task.  It is not just these things that need to be looked at but also the Routines and other associated items that go with everything. So I looked at the calendar and realized I have nine Skald’s Life posts left after this one in the month of March.

If I am going to take this one bite at a time then I think the answer has presented itself in that I can take one virtue on at a time with its associated Principle, Goal and Bucket List Item.  There are certain Routines associated with each type of Skald’s Life so can deal with them one at a time for three weeks as well. The plan is:

Week of March 10th to 16th: Honor, Self-Reliance, Discipline

Week of March 17th to 23rd: Courage, Industriousness, Perseverance

Week of March 24th to 30th: Truth, Hospitality, Fidelity

Of course the end of this week, which started out very well, began to have major The Grey issues.  This started Wooden’s Day at work and pretty much is still going.  So there is a real necessity to keep going right now to keep this depression thing from dominating my birthday or the celebrations of the birthday’s of others. There is just too much at stake right now for The Grey to slow me down.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

It all comes down to discipline at times. It is either that or Courage. I guess discipline is that which you do when you are at peace to prepare for war.  Courage is what you need in war.  So I find myself alternating on my bad days between the two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess I can say that there might be an observation that perseverance is the product of this alternation between Discipline and Courage.  I mean, I should talk more about how the virtues overlap.  I guess I do that with the Higher Virtues in a sense.  Honor Courage and Truth being center to Love, etc. Every once in a while though you see a connection between say Honor and Fidelity.  Those should be noted when I see them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The loyalty thing to folk and friends are good.  I mean these I would perceive as pretty solid and for the most part strong.  I am struggling right now with two aspects of this virtue. 1) Being loyal to myself.  I mean a half a year ago there were certain things I wanted for me and I still feel like I am struggling to get there.  I feel at times I am still the pastor in mentality, where I give up something I need or want, so someone else can benefit.  I suppose old habits die-hard and all that, but if I am going to be loyal to myself my goals and bucket list have to focus on loyalty to myself.  Otherwise this has all been for nothing. 2)  “One’s Gods and Goddesses”  – yeah, who or what are they? Does my Deism, Humanism and Paganism count as this? Yeah, there are a lot of unanswered questions on that part. The thing I am most loyal to philosophically is the Nine Noble Virtues, so perhaps this isn’t a problem really. All that then is really missing is the personification. 🙂 I just need to figure out how this part works.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

In wisdom, it is wise to consider one’s mortality. I know I consider mine every birthday.  I always ask at some point how many more birthdays do I have left?  It is not really being morbid. It’s just being wise.  On the one hand one should like each day like it is his or her last.  One the other hand, you should plan like you are going to live forever. So each day is lived like it is your last with greater purpose.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real problem with this routine is not desire.  Gods I want to lift so bad again, but until I know where I am going to be with my next job, the gym is not an option.  Perhaps a simple bench and few dumbbells would hold me over but my bucket list requires some barbells and significant weight. Walking without proper winter gear is not an option right now either.  I keep them on the list though because it reminds me that they need to return as quickly as possible,  Writing is still a struggle but Cleaning is not.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Toughest routine to remember to do. Need my daily list or I would forget it. Even with the list I forget it at times.

Nutrition:

Went back to two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  This seems to work the best and it keeps me leaned out.  I think with this in place, I can fine tune things a little at a time until I get where I truly want it to be.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t know, The Grey really clouded things here this week.  I had to trust my instincts a little more when it came to some things. Honor is the hardest thing when you are depressed.

Business – Finding a new job with better pay is getting pivotal to not only the future prosperity of my wife and myself.  It is becoming critical for me as far as value. My own sense of personal value is starting to feel the need for it.

Self –  Writing on Tyr’s Day about Fidelity was particularly emotional taxing. I think this set me up to be triggered when some thing were said by certain people ,and it caused a Grey Storm to start. I know what a lot of my triggers are, but sometimes I don’t know what form they will take or sometimes there are new ones I never considered. I suppose it is the catch twenty-two of depression.  You have to talk about the past to deal with it, but sometimes by doing that you open the door to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Fidelity – Noble Vulnerability

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I always approach the subject of fidelity with a little trepidation. One the one hand, I have not been the most loyal of husbands in the very recent past.  Having an affair kind of undercuts your credibility when it comes to lecturing anyone on the subject of fidelity.  On the flip side, while I don’t recommend doing it this way, the lessons about fidelity I have learned from others and myself during that time were quite profound. So no lecture from me.  I don’t have the moral authority here to tell you how to be loyal and show fidelity, but I do have a testimony here of some of the things I observed and learned that might help someone.  That is if you are willing to listen before the shit hits the fan for you.

Before I begin though I want to share something my wife sent me on Sunday.  When I saw this I told her thank you and that I loved her.  What she couldn’t see, because it was sent via Messenger was the tears rolling down my face. I have no idea how she loves me so much.  I just do not get it.  She is the best example of fidelity I know.

I suppose that is the first observation I can make.  That just because you are in the midst of being disloyal to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will automatically switch to being disloyal to you.  That is the high road if you ask me.  It is a rare person who can maintain fidelity to you while you are walking away from them.  When you discover this, it can be a soul wrenching moment. I don’t recommend testing people’s loyalty to you this way, but it is very revealing who really loves you and continues to love you even when you are not being the most loyal person yourself.

I also can share the tale of two friends.  I had two friends I would have considered very close at the time. Now, I want people to understand that as disloyal as I was to my wife at the time, I had this thing about loyalty to my friends and family that was still very strong. It was my marriage that was a problem to me at the time as well as my faith, but I would have marched through hell for my friends and family.

Not all the other relationships were problematic to me. I was actually depending on them to kind of get me through the crisis I was having at the time.  One friend proved that his lifelong fidelity was true. He stuck by me, confronted me and loved me no matter what.  He even kept a few secrets, although I knew he wanted to say something.  I will give the man this, loyalty, that is fidelity runs through his veins like blood.  He still remains my truest friend and for that I will be forever grateful.

The other who was a friend for almost a decade. He, on the other hand, deliberately set me up to look like I was trying to hide the affair to my congregation, and then came out and told the story himself to pass himself off as the ‘noble hero’.  You find out who your real friends are in crisis moments and I never saw that one coming.  I trusted him and that ended that day. I discovered very quickly that this person’s definition of friendship includes in his loyalty clause – “only if you agree with me and are useful to me.”  He threw our relationship away as easily as tossing a piece of paper into the trash.

This was because I had become a liability to him and I was no longer useful to him. He not only abandoned me, but he had to kick me when I was down in his self-righteous sanctimonious arrogance.  I will never trust him again.  Even my wife, who had the greatest reason to do so, didn’t try to destroy me when I was walking away and hurting.  This man did. He has nothing but my contempt now and anyone who trusts his friendship or loyalty is a fool.

My tale of two friends demonstrates fidelity in one and its lack in the other. In the end the first friend helped me see the light and the other just has contributed to my darkness.  When you see a friend struggling, even with their own loyalty to someone, you don’t demonstrate fidelity and help them by being a disloyal prick yourself.

I suppose I have to say one other thing.  Fidelity isn’t as black and white as people like to make it out to be.  Sometimes you don’t know who to be loyal to at all.  Sometimes you have to be loyal to a couple of people who are having problems with each other.  There is a world of mines in this minefield you have to tiptoe around. Relationships can be toxic or one-sided. That is because I have also learned that fidelity is the strongest thing in the world when it is right.  It is also the most fragile and explosive thing when it goes wrong.  Handle with care.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I have come to understand how much I need loyalty in my life. Not just people to be loyal to me but how being loyal makes me a better person.  Oddly enough, I have been loyal to some of the people, even the above unfaithful friend, since all this happened. There is a professionalism to the ministry I maintain out of loyalty and respect for helping others and for people’s privacy.  So I have a lot of confidences that were entrusted to me, that I still keep.  I know a lot of things that could be damaging to others, but I keep them to myself out of fidelity.  I refuse to be the same person my other friend was, that just because these relationships may have philosophical differences with me, or no longer have any use, I will not be a disloyal prick and reveal those secrets to damage people.

Wants (Freki):

If I want anything right now, it is to strengthen my own loyalty to those who have proven loyal to me. I don’t know any other way to demonstrate my appreciation and respect for these people than to do this.  I want a small group of friends that fidelity is strong both ways.  I think I have a few. But I need a few more.  I also want to get over the fear of making new friends, as new relationships cause me a little of the ‘who can a trust’ syndrome based on past experience. I want to get over that while remembering not everyone who says they are your friend is one, they only prove that with actions not words.

Reason (Huginn):

When I think about this rationally, Loyalty is difficult to intellectualize.  It is much more something soul felt than rationalized. At the same time, I can see rationally that without it I won’t go forward.  I just wont.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience teaches wisdom, then this last year is has a taught me the wisdom of fidelity. I can’t even put to words all the things I have learned.  I guess I can say this mostly though.  If you’re having a problem in your relationship with your significant other, the place you need to talk about it is with the other person. I also understand there are problems of pain and depression that keep you from doing this at times, so you have my empathy if you can’t.  I get it.  But if you can find a way, do it.  It is far better to mend the fence than have to build a new one. Fidelity demands that.

Conclusion:

I know I have little in the way of strength here at times.  I am gaining new understandings of this virtue known as fidelity all the time.  I really don’t see it as my weakest area and even last year going though my marriage issues, I still maintained fidelity with friends, family and others despite the fact it was strained in a couple of areas. One of those areas was my marriage and it is very much on the mend.  The other was my faith and like my friend who betrayed me, I think I will say that this separation in relationship will be permanent. The real struggle now is to keep searching and walking to find the truth when it comes to faith and spirituality.  But that is what this while blog is about.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:4 – ‘People Have the Right to Pursue Happiness’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Pursue Happiness” – The Book of Rabyd 1:4

Thoughts and Exposition:

Will Smith has a great line in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”.  He centers on the idea of how the founding fathers has enough wisdom to put in the word ‘pursuit’.  This is what is often forgotten in this right.  You do not have the right to be happy.  You do have the right to pursue what will make you happy or what you think will make you happy.  It does not include a safety net where the government bails you out if you fail.

I suppose it should be argued at this point that this right is equal to the other two already stated of life and liberty.  The issue here is that some people will be champion of people’s life and liberty but then will involve themselves in the affairs of others in such a way as to either meddle or try to restrict other’s pursuit of happiness by law or ordinance.  They think they know what would make others happy and try to use force or influence to make it so.

Truthfully, the respect for this right in others is the biggest litmus test of whether you genuinely treat people as human beings or objects.  The person who can see what would be better for someone else but does not act because he or she respects that person’s right to pursue their own happiness is a person who also is seeing them as a human being, not as something to manipulate.

I have been using the abortion debate throughout this discussion so I will use it again here.  The conflict is simple I think because a woman might argue that having a child would not be in line with her pursuit of happiness.  The counter argument then comes that you are violating the child or fetus’ right to live.  If we are truly seeing the two rights as equals then we are pretty much left in a stalemate and so the issue falls to other things.  The right to happiness doesn’t really help us here either because we could make an argument for both sides for happiness.

In abortion we have a conflict of rights but the question is which right has superiority over others.  If we give certain rights superiority over others then how can we say we are treating them all equally?  Some other factor, must come into play to settle this quandary and it may be Rabyd 1:5 which we will talk about in the next week.

For me personally this is why I try to conduct myself (and I hope my family conducts themselves with the idea as well) of not meddling in other people’s affairs.  If we do feel we have a better way for people to live that might aid them in their pursuit of happiness; we do not force the issue, but attempt to persuade people to that end.  Our goal is not to meddle, but we will certainly act in compassion if we see a need and react if asked to help.

Part of respecting the pursuit of happiness is respecting the need for people to struggle through that issue on their own.  To impose my view of what would make them happy on them would be wrong.  It is wrong because it does not recognize the other person’s humanity or their right to pursuit what they believe will make them happy.

One thing needs to be said here.  People who achieve happiness are often ones who find out the pursuit of it involves letting other be happy.  The one great obstacle to our pursuit is think other people need to live up to our standards of what they should do and be. When they don’t do this, then disappointment leads to unhappiness.  Part of being happy and pursuing it is learning a) You will not find it in others and b) You will never be happy as long as you are trying to impose your view of it on others.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:4 – “People Have the Right to Pursue Happiness”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Never Give Up – Motivational Video

I don’t normally post motivational videos but I do listen to them from time to time.  I think I might consider creating a morning playlist as I write.  This might be the one to kick it off.

Poem: ‘Go Get it’ – Will Smith – From the movie The Pursuit of Happiness.
See the source image
Meditation:

No photo description available.

Song of Preparation: “Happy” – Pharrell Williams

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Pursuit  Happiness” – The Book of Rabyd 1:4

Sermon:

Will Smith has a great line in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”.  He centers on the idea of how the founding fathers has enough wisdom to put in the word ‘pursuit’.  This is what is often forgotten in this right.  You do not have the right to be happy.  You do have the right to pursue what will make you happy or what you think will make you happy.  It does not include a safety net where the government bails you out if you fail.

I suppose it should be argued at this point that this right is equal to the other two already stated of life and liberty.  The issue here is that some people will be champion of people’s life and liberty, but then involve themselves in the affairs of others in such a way as to either meddle or try to restrict other’s pursuit of happiness by law or ordinance.  They think they know what would make others happy and try to use force or influence to make it so.

Truthfully, the respect for this right in others is the biggest litmus test of whether you genuinely treat people as human beings or objects.  The person who can see what would be better for someone else but does not act because he or she respects that person’s right to pursue their own happiness is a person who also is seeing them as a human being, not as something to manipulate.

I have been using the abortion debate throughout this discussion so I will use it again here.  The conflict is simple I think because a woman might argue that having a child would not be in line with her pursuit of happiness.  The counter argument then comes that you are violating the child or fetus’ right to live.  On the front of pursuit of happiness both have this right and so we are still at draw.

If we are truly seeing the two rights as equals then we are pretty much left in a stalemate and so the issue falls to other things.  In abortion, we have a conflict of rights but the question is which right has superiority over others.  If we give certain rights superiority over others then how can we say we are treating them all equally?  Some other factor, must come into play to settle this quandary, and it may be Rabyd 1:5 which we will talk about in the next week.

For me personally this is why I try to conduct myself (and I hope my family conducts themselves with the idea as well) of not meddling in other people’s affairs.  If we do feel we have a better way for people to live that might aid them in their pursuit of happiness; we do not force the issue, but attempt to persuade people to that end.  Our goal is not to meddle, but we will certainly act in compassion if we see a need and react if asked to help.  Part of respecting the pursuit of happiness is respecting the need for people to struggle through that issue on their own.  To impose my view of what I think would make them happy on them would be wrong.  It is wrong because it does not recognize the other person’s humanity or their right to pursuit what they believe will make them happy.

Closing Song: “Tacky” – Weird Al Yankovic

Having a little fun to end it.  Weird Al in a classic.  Have a laugh and pursuit what you feel will make you happy.  It is your right.

Parting Thought: 

Image may contain: one or more people and text

A crude statement I suppose, but true. In your pursuit of happiness – be careful to not be drawn into things that will get you off the path.  For instance, by giving a fuck about certain people who you suspect don’t give as much a fuck about you as you do them. Just keep walking toward your happiness.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – ‘Live Long and Prosper’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Star Trek is a complicated conversation for me, as it used to be about something that examined all issues fairly in a science fiction setting.  With all the new series and such, my issue of course is that the universe known as Star Trek is it has taken on a life of its own. So much so, that it is impossible to keep up.  Star Trek for me remains sitting in front of the television as a boy watching the original series.  It shaped me in that I learned very much to look to a future that was optimistic. Not the same optimism that Gene Roddenberry had, but optimism nonetheless.

There are many truisms from that series and one of my favorites comes from Spock and the simple goodbye ritual of saying -“Live long and prosper.”  In the absence of religion or faith, it is a blessing that is very mystical, yet secular.  It is also a worth goal and a from a Self point of view, it sums up my objectives very well.  Just trying to live a long life in as much prosperity as I can.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Being hard on yourself, knowing you can always do better, can be challenging.  I am right now testing my discipline by basically not keeping my paper journal this week.  What I have discovered is fairly typical – I am now doing some things automatically, other things I am not, or I am forgetting to do some things without the journal. It illustrates the process of how discipline takes something that is a good activity from something difficult, to something that requires less and less of a push until it becomes a habit.  Most things re somewhere along the line of knowing it is a good thing to do and starting out to habit.  Most are somewhere in between those two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I know that the next half a year or so is going to require a lot of perseverance emotionally and mentally.  Memories right now of last year at this same time are going to haunt me.  There will be a lot of things that I look back on with a lot of sadness. This sadness can and probably will at times cause me to shut down emotionally. For me that means becoming cold and feeling nothing.  The Grey.

There will be a lot of voices in my head that will not be positive.  I have to keep going despite it all. My only hope is that on the other side of all this there will be better days and I will be stronger for walking through it.  That’s what keeps me going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Being loyal to myself is the central thing right now.  For the first time in my life, I think the priority of my own prosperity on all levels is present.  If people find this selfish, then they can bite me.  People always call others selfish when people don’t do what they want to advantage themselves.  For me if I don’t keep myself going, then everyone who depends on me also suffers.  I have lived long giving to others at the expense of myself that this is a whole new world for me in some ways and fear of course is there. It is courage and loyalty to myself that cause me to pick up my war axe and keep walking forward.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance has been the word of wisdom this week.  Trying to keep my foundation, business and self aspects in balance.  It can be a challenge, but in so doing, I find myself more at peace. Unfortunately it is a peace that requires victory and victory implies battles and wars to fight.  But it is peace that can be achieved so I fight.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

The weekly routine goes completely to hell when I don’t keep my paper journal.  I think I cleaned once this week and didn’t write at all. Cheat meal Count? Who knows.  Yeah, this one requires keeping it in front of me every day so I am reminded to do it.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Tough one as well without a journal to remind me.  When I look at all of the routines – the morning one and the daily one have the most habits that are automatic. The weekly stuff and the evening stuff are still things I have to remind myself to do.

Nutrition:

Off script this week.  Basically a week of whatever although I do find that I gravitate toward low carb foods or the flip side things that have enough sugar to make my diabetic side cringe. That’s the yin and yang of it right now with nutrition when I don’t force myself to keep track of it. Extreme either way.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  Off script, these are the virtues that hold up best. They are after all stuff that is a constant more than the others.

Business – This area needs more focus and events at my current job have reminded me once again why a change in job is needed.

Self –  I struggle the most here off script.  I really need more of a habit of taking care of me as a whole. Perhaps it speak as to how my last occupation taught me to ‘deny self’ to the point of losing myself.  I now consider this one aspect of Jesus’ teaching I would demand further explanation on; because once you have spent all, then you lose and everyone else wins at your expense.  I fail to see the good in this at all anymore.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Higher Calling

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If I struggle with anything  since departing from Christianity, it is my loss of a sense of ‘higher calling’. I mean religion in general feeds into this ego we all have a higher purpose, that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and ‘God loves you, so you are special’ and ‘Everyone has a higher calling’. Since throwing off such notions, I have come to the notion that these things are not the product of simple existence. If I want to have a sense of ‘higher calling’ and want experience a sense of purpose, I have to create it myself. I don’t get these things by the fact my mother gave birth to me.  My existence does not make it so.

The Foundational Virtues really help with this.  I live my life to have a sense of honor.  To do that I must face the truth of things with courage. The Viking notion of living your life bravely at every moment is something I strive for because I can see it is a very ‘realistic’ higher calling.  It is not completely based on the idea of and afterlife, but also the notion of being a better person day by day. That is something I can cling to as a higher calling.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

As I approach my 50th birthday (3 weeks from today), I look back at a half a century of life. Honestly, there has been good, bad and ugly in it. I feel in some respect some of those years were a waste of time. If I want any feeling that day; it is that despite all the bad, ugly and waste of time now.  I have a sense of personal honor within that nothing can shake.  A feeling of a positive future and to see the good in myself and to look positively to what life I have left to live.  To see the good in myself and others around me like my family and my remaining friends would make the last 50 years worth it.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The future for me is an interesting concept.  Whatever end I might face, I want it to be said that I faced it with courage.  To be known as a person who does the right thing always and that is part of my character.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty is a double edge sword.  It cuts through the lies, but it also can cut your own soul at times. If there is a part of my higher purpose to be lived it is to be pursuing what is true.  Trying to be a person that finds it and then uses it to live better.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is a new a different concept to me. It is about honor, courage and truth far more than feelings of calling. Trying to do the honest, brave and respectful thing every time is a challenge, but it is a calling of sorts.  One that I place on myself.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Been pretty much a challenge at times.  Something is going on right now that gets my thoughts racing in a lot of directions when I get up in the morning; it makes it hard to focus even with meditation.  Might be a different form of The Grey.  I just know I need to refocus as I went from hoping I could have a perfect week with this to something far less than I was even doing. First time in a while the morning routine has been a problem. Need to redouble my efforts.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

As I look at this list there are a lot of things that could be done very quickly if I had the monetary resources to do them.  It still keeps coming back to finding a better job and that needs to be a priority along with getting my internship done.

Weightlifting:

This week was one of those week I really missed the iron in my life. I miss the simplicity of doing a deadlift or leg presses.  It was also kind of depressing to think about my old gym being basically gone. I put so much time there, in that place, that was productive and now it’s just a memory.  I need that feeling back of progress and productivity and there was no place like the gym to get it.  I need to either have that or something at home that will do that too.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:3 – ‘Everyone Has the Right to Liberty’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text: 

“Everyone has the Right to Liberty” – The Book of Rabyd 1:3

Thoughts and Exposition:

Liberty.  It is an easy word to say and it is easy to demand it for yourself.  It becomes quite another matter to give liberty to others.  The great problem with humans is that we objectify others and nearly all methods of objectification involve this notion that people should live a certain way, or do certain things, and if they don’t then they just are wrong and we should make them.

I would submit the moment you are trying to use force, threat of force or fraud to make another person or group of people conform to your vision of morality, behavior or ethics; you demonstrate you do not understand the word liberty. Liberty isn’t just about you being able to live the way you desire, it is about letting others do so too.

This is the thing about calling certain things ‘inalienable rights’.  This means that if you want your right to something inalienable, you have to respect it in others. The other thing is there is more than one inalienable right – you also have life and the pursuit of happiness.  No use of your liberty can deter then from another person’s rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

This has some pretty astounding implication which I will get into later in The Book of Rabyd, but for now note that liberty allows you to do what you want to do as long as it does not interfere in the rights of others. That means you have to think a little bit about things before you act.  There is no just ‘do what you want and damn the consequences’ with genuine liberty. Liberty demands the notion of ‘love your neighbor as yourself’.

On the flip side though, if a person is going to tell me I am interfering with their rights, they better bring proof or show me based on reason how I am dong so.  If they can’t do so, then they are simply attempting to diminish my right to choosing my own path, which should be considered as just as evil a crime as trying to take my life.  People use all kinds of forces from philosophy, to religion to a straight up desire to control others to justify interfering with people’s liberty.  Any such use of these things should not be allowed.

If there is any legacy I want to leave to my children, grandchildren and all the generations to follow at this point; it is I hope they truly consider the blessings of liberty.  Not just for themselves but there is also a blessing in letting others be free.  From freeing oneself from the terrible desire to control the behavior of others.   If I were ever get around to creating a family motto, it will certainly have the Latin word: ‘Libertas‘ in it. It is that important; just as much the inalienable right as life.

Liberty often requires that you don’t do things to please others, you do what is right for you, and recognizing that sometimes others are just being self-righteous, sanctimonious pricks.  The message is about respect of others’ right to liberty as much as respecting your own.  But sometimes it isn’t about that – it’s about trying to maintain your own liberty in the face of those who would take it away though cultural and political rules that they want to impose on you. Sometimes the fight for liberty is simply a matter of telling such rules and those who impose the to ‘go to hell’.  You have the right also to pursuit what makes you happy.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – The Path to Self-Fulfillment

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I find walking to be fulfilling.  In that regard, I think the path I choose in life should also be fulfilling.  I never want to be in the position I was before asking: “What do I get out of this?”, and not have a positive answer.  I don’t believe this is selfish, so much as it is self-preservation.  Perseverance requires something within to stand back up and keep going.  Something has to feed that.  We do things that either feed that or drain it. When we are drained, we can do some very dumb things to find peace and happiness.  I speak from experience.

Putting it together then as I stand at a crossroads o fork in road as life’s wayfarer, I guide my decisions based on these there criteria. Does this path lead to Virtue, does this path lead to Success and does this path lead to Self-fulfillment.  If the path has a yes to all three of those, it is likely one I should take, More often than that I find that either 1) Many paths meet this three-fold requirement and then other factors come in or 2) none of them meet all three, so I pick the one that has the most, and then hope for a choice down the road that is better.

At the end of the day, I simply want to look back at my choices as say they followed virtue, lead to success and were fulfilling personally.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I still keep looking to make discipline more and more of my life. Getting past the times of The Grey is simply easier when I do things automatically.  I am however making a major change in that I am working on the idea that all my steps and routines must be done as much as possible before I can take a break or do something I enjoy.  The greatest challenge I face is to take a break from things, and then not have the discipline to return.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess the feeling I have here is like a hiker who has hiked through as storm and now looks back from the hill and sees that storm behind him.  It doesn’t mean that there are not more storms ahead, but there is some satisfaction in looking at what I survived. Then you look forward in new strength and keep going forward.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It is times of the Storm that challenge you in regards to fidelity.  There is tension between loyalty to ones self, and loyalty to those who have been loyal to you.  Some how you have to be loyal to yourself and do what you need to do for you, but at the same time not forget those who have been loyal to you.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Virtue, Success, and Self-fulfillment.  Sounds like the path of wisdom to me.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

#1 and #3 are still on hold until the weather improves and I get a better job that can allow me to afford the gym again.   I have an idea for writing that will probably start me down that path more consistently.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

The evening routine is the most challenging of all of them. This is because I have to wait to the end of the day for it to happen and by that time The Grey might basically be motivating me to just go to bed.

Nutrition:

I am definitively have troubles with the zeros.  I don’t think this is a level I will stay at.  The one that worked and was most comfortable and successful was two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  After my birthday, it is where I will probably camp for a while. The one thing I can say is the diet has kept my weight and fitness level stable despite no walking or the gym.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I feel better here.  I don’t like thinking about the past because it is a bummer.  It is sometimes unavoidable.  That said, thinking about a more positive future for myself and my wife has been a good way to move on. Virtue has been the key there.

Business – Success and defining it have been very helpful this week.

Self –  Need to remember me.  Self loyalty is a must.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 5 – Pixie Trouble (1)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Rogue Wizard’s Journal January 14th, 2019

I am writing the next few journal entries after the fact of what happened by about a week.  Mostly this is due to being held captive for the last five days. My life has definitely taken turn here that is major. But is probably best to start at the beginning.

Lunette did eventually show up.  Three days after Raven had paid her visit.  In my younger days Lunette had that sensual attractiveness of a teenage girl to me.  The prom queen type, and I was at the time the lucky nerd on her arm for most of Middle School.  High School changed all that and we became in a sense estranged.  We still were the only two magical touched beings of our class, so we found ourselves at times as uneasy allies against darker powers.  Lunette became increasingly more about herself .  More about the using of her abilities to manipulate and control others.  Yeah, I kept my distance during high school.

I don’t want to say age has mellowed Lunette, but she looks a little less confident of herself these days. She looks like a fully mature adult female.  She seemed more cautious in her actions.  More deliberate and calculated.  I could tell this from just watching her move and the way she talked. She was no longer speaking to me in passion but in very calculated thought, measuring each word.

She stopped by on the morning of January 8th; and after letting her in, I had a deja vu moment as I sat in my chair and she sat pretty much exactly where Raven had a few days ago.  I was beginning to think my life was looking up with two attractive females visiting my bachelor pad in less that a week; but then again both of them were dangerous as coiled venomous snakes.  Lunette for her part had worn a skirt with leggings but her upper body was encased in a fur coat.  Her female curves enhanced with pixie charms were damn near perfect. Those wings of her’s fluttering behind her were the major difference in the two encounters with these two females.

I didn’t really waste much time with small talk.  I was being as cautious as hell.

“OK, it seems to me we left our conversation at me asking you what you have been doing with your life since we parted.  You then looked very sheepish and then we were rudely interrupted by magical gunfire so to speak.”

Lunette then looked a little sheepish again.  She hesitated for a moment and then she opened her mouth and began.

“After I was exiled from the Grove, I wandered a bit.  Decided to pass myself off as human for a while by going to college and doing some modelling. The bills got tight as you can imagine, so I did a little exotic dancing to supplement.”

She stopped at that point and looked at me like she was fishing for a reaction.  I kept quiet, but my thoughts were she could have made that a career for a decade and retired.  Her natural pixie looks and illusion abilities would have made her a top of the line porn star for that matter. I kept my face stoic like she had simply given me the temperature outside, so she continued.

“I graduated, but I couldn’t find a job, so I began to work freelance jobs in the magical world.  Discovered I had a talent for it really.  Mostly, finding out secrets and selling them to the highest bidder. The only problem with that; as you know, is you make enemies and some of them can be pretty powerful. But I have so far navigated all that.  This war has made that more difficult.”

“Personal Relationships?”

She laughed.

“Well, I am Pixie.  You know a lot of passionate fucking, but nothing really serious or long-term.  In the pixie world being an exile makes you not so desirable as a mate for making kids. Besides, I don’t really want children. They would be too much of a liability in this line of work.”

“Yeah, I think about that myself.  If I get too involved, my kids and grand kids become targets too.  No matter what the Council says the rules of engagement are; they will go after them if I get too involved. War tends to make rules go out the window in order to achieve victory.”

“Yeah, I guess both of us are under the gun there.  My parents are gone, so it is just me though, so I guess in that regard I have an advantage over you.”

“Well, I guess I could disappear.  That wouldn’t make them safe though.  They could still be used to flush me out. No.  I just don’t know.”

Lunette nodded.  She had been sitting with her legs crossed, but now she had her knees together with her feet slightly apart and she was leaning forward.  Her fur coat was unbuttoned and so her button up shirt which was undone a few buttons on the top revealed a pretty nice view of her cleavage.  I had to admit some old feelings were starting to surface and they were more about lust than love.  Only the seriousness of the topic had been keeping them in check.

“Edward, I am sorry about what happened and how I acted toward you after middle school.  I was a brat back then.  I just had different plans and an attitude to match.”

“Well, in the end both of us were exiled for our own actions Lunette. Although I am not quite sure what I did in the end.  But she ….”

“It’s OK Edward, you don’t have to say anything.”

“So, what business are you here for?  You are on business too, not just to renew an old relationship?”

“Yes, I am. I have a client that wants to talk to you about an offer that may help you with your problem with the Council.  I am here to arrange the meeting.”

“I see, and who is your client?”

“She would rather introduce herself in person. I am just here to take you to her if you are interested.”

“I am not trying to be rude Lunette, but my trust level is a little low right now of anyone. I mean from all accounts you have a bounty on your head from several different sources. I might be being over cautious, but I think if I am going to meet this client of yours, she would have to come here where I would feel more safe.”

“I see.  Well, I am sure she would not do that.  She has her own level of paranoia that is justified.  I don’t know what else I can do to assure you this is not a trap.”

“Not sure you can.  Our relationship has been dead for a long time and even though I can feel for you about your situation, I have my own that is a little difficult as you know.  I am guessing that I would be in the presence of other magical beings, and that means outnumbered and outgunned if shit goes south.  Sorry, too much of risk for me.”

She actually looked at me like she expected that answer.  She nodded.

“Well, OK.  I get it.  I should probably get back to her and tell her.”

Lunette got up, buttoned up her coat and then she came closer to me. I took a deep breath and, before I could react, she leaned over a bit and kissed me on the cheek. I would have thought it a nice gesture of renewed friendship except I instantly felt very tired and literally collapsed to the floor losing consciousness.  The last words I heard her say as I did lose consciousness were:

“Sorry Edward, but this is for your own good.”

I remember thinking that I was a complete idiot, but then everything went black.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Path of Virtue

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

If someone were to ask me right now what I miss the most, I would say it is walking. Winter sucks to walk in without the proper gear.  I miss the iron of the weights at the gym too, but I miss the simple act of taking an hour our of the day to take a walk. As soon as the snow is gone and the temperature up to a point where I can put on a jacket and take a walk, I will be out there.

Walking for me is very honest metaphor.  I am the Grey Wayfarer and a Wayfarer is one who travels on foot.  I enjoy this simple action more than most people know because living is walking with the occasional stops for enjoying the view or life in general.

My path is in life though is virtue. Finding the right path has not always been easy. I have walked a lot of them.  Christianity was a major one.  Right Now, I would say the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) are a better one.  Why? Because Virtue transcends religion, politics and philosophy, and it is something I have come to discover as I have walked the path.  You can be an honorable person regardless of whether you area Christian or not, whether you are conservative or liberal, or whether or not you believe in eastern or western philosophy.  Virtue is simply working to strengthen that which is best in us as human beings, and that path is something I can gladly walk.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I have a sense of honor.  I have really come to understand that this comes from within and not what other people think of me.  That is very important to understand. People do not dictate my sense of personal honor; I develop it within myself.  It makes honor both stronger and in a sense more vulnerable.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No problems here,  I would say my recent travelling through The Grey Storm may have built this a little stronger.  I just need to really use this to put myself out there even more for a job search.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I don’t find this as difficult anymore.  I find myself stay silent a lot but it seems other people have more problems when I speak the truth than I do.  I have discovered that it is so true that people would rather have comforting lies than the truth, that it makes me chuckle at times.  That said, I follow truth because it gives me an advantage.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love of life. This last couple weeks have really challenged that. I guess I can say I owe a few people who I love some credit at times for helping me find my way back to love of life. My wife, children and grand kids all have contributed.  It makes this path easier to walk at times.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

Really working on a full week this week with this complete every single day. I have come close several times, but this week I want the morning Routine to be flawless.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I am going to work on two things,  1) Finding the way to get the money for my first tattoo and 2) writing my novel.  I have until the end of June to get one or the other of these done.

Weightlifting:

I think the best plan right now is to get some dumbbells and come up with routines with those i can do at home.  It might be a high rep, three set thing for some exercises but I need to do something to make sure my muscles stay toned at least.  Once I get a better paying job, gym membership and other things get back on the table.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!