Prayer

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 95 – The Unattainable Desires of Life

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Open Song: Halestorm – Amen

It is no secret that I gravitate toward songs and bands who speak about faith and religion and so this song by Halestorm is sort of one of my anthems from time to time.  The words speak to me and definitely get my ‘Amen’.

Poem:

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I will leave the poetry to The Ruined Man this week. Definitely my thoughts about myself this week. There are simply some things that have to be dealt with alone.

Meditation:

I am not a big one for fate.  I think we make our own luck and our own success.  This proverb definitely resonates with me.

Song of Preparation: Smash Mouth – Walkin’ On The Sun:

Some things are indeed impossible and other things make you shake your head.  Smash Mouth seems to get that in this song.

Text: Havamal 95

Only the mind knows
what lives near the heart;
a man is alone with his own spirit.
There is no sickness worse
for any wise man
than to have nothing to love.

Sermon:

There are a lot of different ways to translate this Stanza but for me it reflects that only each person knows what he truly desires but there is no sickness worse than desiring and loving that which you cannot have.

I suppose it might be speaking to that old adage about youth being wasted on the young.  That once you figure out what you should do with life, you don’t have the energy or the time to obtain it. Maybe.

For me this speaks more to the sadness that can sometimes develop when you finally realize what you want, but there is no way to get it.  I have experienced this many times and I have come to realize that in those moments, it is often time to change our desires and focus elsewhere.  If there is any wisdom in discovering a desire is unattainable; it is the wisdom that says move on and continue to live life.  Something else will come along that is attainable.

If you can’t do that well there is a sickness of soul that will come over you known to me as The Grey and to others as depression.  It’s amazing how as we get older depression gets more common and I can’t help but wonder if it is this finally figuring out what life is about and yet not being able to attain it.  I hope that whatever you and I desire it is attainable. Such a sickness is more than I have been able to bear at times and I wish it on no one.

I could go with the other interpretation of this passage which says there is nothing worse than to grow old and have nothing to love. I would agree and I feel this is why most people die in a lack of hope.  They stop having something to love and without that, there is little motivation to keep on living.  It’s why I want to keep a bucket list in front of me forever.

I don’t know.  For me personally, it is the truth that no one knows what is on the heart of a man or woman other than that person themselves that is the glaring truth. A person could tell you the whole truth about what they want but the truth is that what they want is actually deeper still.  It’s good to remember that the closest council any man keeps is with himself. No person reveals all of what they are and that is a good thing to remember.

Closing Song: Monty Python – The Meaning of Life:

May you unravel the meaning of life and live it fully.  May all your desires be attainable.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Crisis of Faith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Probably for the purpose of the future of Odin’s Eye I am going to cover three areas. Firstly, I want to cover my current state of belief in greater detail so I will have three posts one on each of the following: Deism, Humanism and Paganism.  Secondly, I want to offer my four objections to the God of the Bible in detail, so there will be  post on each of them. Thirdly, If I am reading my calendar correctly, this will take me into December as I will probably use Odin’s Eye as a sounding board around Halloween and when it falls on Thanksgiving to talk about those holidays and how I celebrate them now ending with Yule or Christmas.

Before I start all of that though, I want to talk about the nature of my Crisis of Faith and some of the foundational things that led to it. Before I begin going trough the four things I normally do in Odin’s Eye, I want to explain on an emotional level this crisis I had this past two years was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face.  I would rate only my father’s death and the period time around my near divorce as more emotionally trying.  That said this crisis lasted over two years.  It was not an instantaneous thing and it probably led to a very vulnerable emotional state over a long period of time.  Since I have owned up to the fact I just don’t believe in Christianity anymore, it has been very welcome relief from the emotional strain.

Faith

My crisis of faith starts with the simple fact that as far as faith goes I was told to have a thinking Christianity.  That is a reasonable faith all my life.  It is interesting that my Sunday School teacher seems to at the end of her life had a similar experience as myself, but it was she who also told me that God can handle your questions and will be able to answer them or he is not God.  I was taught early on to search the Scriptures.  It was in this search I simply found eventually after forty years, questions I still do not have answers for and probably never will.  The issue though with faith is that the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 suddenly became nonsense to me because at face reading it is nonsense. It’s simply nonsense to say that which we hope for is evidence.  Wishful thinking but not evidence.

Religion

It’s not that the religion known as Christianity hasn’t played a part as well in the crisis.  Throughout my ministry career of twenty years, I have watched people who claim Christianity, in the name of  their religion, do some pretty despicable things to each other. One of my personal objections to Christianity is the gospel doesn’t live up to the hype of personal transformation of those who claim to have been ‘saved’.  It was never the religion that appealed to me.  It was the theology.  In the end the rituals and doctrinal statements and the expectations of the religion left me empty and if anything drained me, so it offered no comfort or security to my faith.

Theology

It’s the theology really that certain questions (which I will go over in the coming weeks) that left me going – “What the hell?”  It actually started with the notion of ‘sin’ as a concept.  When I realized that there was nothing natural in the world that said certain things are inherently sinful, I began to sense a problem.  If some preacher in my childhood hadn’t come along and told me I was a sinner, I would have never had that notion in my head. Sin is simply not self-evident, nor has the God who exists (if one exists) ever come to me personally and told me I was a sinner. In a sense Christianity tells you that you have a disease (without first proving empirically that the disease exists) and then offers you a cure.  They cure a problem of their own creation.

With that understood I realized a few more things about the Bible and the god it presents. 1) The Bible has no empirical evidence that it is inspired.  It makes that claim but never proves it – you accept it on faith or you don’t. 2) The God of the Bible seems to not have a very good plan for solving the problem of sin for a supreme being.  Why doesn’t he just forgive the sin against him like he expects us to do with each other?  Nope, Instead he kills his own son!?!  3) The god of the Bible’s justice is a little suspect, especially when you consider Hell. I will go over these in the coming months so bear with me as I offer more explanations over time.

Spirituality

Through it all however, I have held on to some beliefs – Deism, Humanism and elements of what Christians would consider Pagan have survived.  I believe in Reason, Humanity and the Spiritual.  I meditate but for different reason.  Probably the weird thing still to me is I don’t pray.  To whom?  Prayer has always bothered me anyway because most of the time it is asking for things and when a prayer is ‘answered’ you never hear the end of it from those who prayed because they claim credit for the result even though they might have had very little to do with it.  I figure the supreme being of the universe either doesn’t give a fuck, gave us what we need in ourselves to handle the problem or doesn’t exist so we are on our own.  Pray is in some ways presumptuous that our problems and our value means something to the divine to the point they will act on our behalf.  If god truly is our friend its  pretty one side friendship because of the way we pray.

For me a lot of things are spiritual but how that matters is still something I exploring and learning about to see where I am and where I am going.  All of this has brought me back to a Seeker level and to be honest this spiritual wayfarer prefers to stay that way.  If the divine powers that might exist, choose to bless me or do something for me may it be because of my deeds as I walk. not because I begged them through prayer.

Basically what I am saying this involved belief in Christianity in relationship to reasonable assessment.  Nothing more and nothing less. If you think its more personal because of recent events in my life, you would be wrong.  Those have an effect on my spirituality because of the emotions involved.  But my Crisis of faith was intellectual and theological in particular.

What I want people to understand is that a crisis of faith is a serious matter.  It rips you up in ways only another person who has been through it can truly understand.  If you have never been through it, I am sorry you can’t relate but I can tell you don’t dismiss the emotions involved or the seriousness of them. It can cause deep depression that is no laughing matter.  It also shouldn’t be just dismissed for many other reasons.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 142 – Wisdom, Word and Deed

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Indestructible

Disturbed has become a new band for me.  I like a lot of their songs and this one is a good one for warriors.

Poem:

“Scars”

My meditation turns to my scars.

I have many but only a few are visible to others.

Most I find are hidden, healed slashes on my soul

No less real, and no less perfect.

Reminders of foes fought, battles won and lost.

Reminders of the price of fidelity, and the pain of another’s treachery,

Reminders love gained at cost and also love lost.

Scars – my one proof that life has tried to destroy me, but I survived

My one proof that I am a warrior.

– The Rabyd Skald – Ed Raby, Sr.

Yeah, this poem is my latest. I think it needs no commentary as it will either resonate with you or it wont.

Meditation:

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Song Of Preparation: Trapt – Headstrong

Trapt put out this song a long time ago.   I like it in that it shows how a strong attitude can make you a fighter for what you believe in.

Text: Havamal 142

Then began I to thrive, and wisdom to get. I grew and well I was. Each word led me on to another word. Each deed to another deed.

Sermon:

When people ask me why one should have personal code, I tell them that no matter what your faith you need something that guides how you live.  When people ask me why I personally chose a warrior code as my personal code, I give them the old Japanese proverb – Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. For me the mindset of a warrior in this world simply carries more weight and is far more useful in all matters.

In Havamal 142 I think we see some of the mentality of the warrior.  It’s actually does not start with war or martial spirit but wisdom.  Knowing how to use what you know practically. The three-part progression of this passage:

  1. Gain wisdom
  2. Let wisdom change your words
  3. Let your words turn into deeds

Gaining wisdom is not easy, so the start of this train of thought does not start with a task that is simple.  Wisdom is often found in learning from experience and sometimes those experiences are painful.  Wisdom also can be costly to gain and may require us to sacrifice something.  The story of Odin giving up his eye to gain insight has particular moral application here.  Wisdom is found in our experiences, the experiences of others and simply at times learning and seeking it out.

Letting this wisdom change our words is particularly powerful.  My wife and I have been reading How Words can Change Your Brain and I have to say it shows one great truth that our self talk can change our attitude and it is important that the wisdom we learn should change what we say and how we say it.  This changes our thinking.

Our thinking eventually will go over to actions. It is not enough in my opinion to simply know the right thing to do and think on it.  You must act. This is the great dividing line between being a gardener in a war and a warrior in a garden.  Those who act on their wisdom and words become warriors.

Closing Song: Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

I remember when the movie Rocky came out and I heard this song for the first time.  I knew then even as a kid that it would become an anthem for fighters.  Still is.

Be Strong and Fight On!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Life after Christianity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

People ask me now what I do on Sundays.  Well I work when I am scheduled.  When I have the day off and it’s football season I watch pregame and whatever game I am watching.  I do homework or just relax. I find that I get more rest now than I ever did as a Pastor/Christian on the so-called day of rest.

There is of course a more serious thing to address here isn’t there?  What has happened to me now that my faith in Christianity is gone?  Well, I don’t go to church and I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about sin anymore.  I don’t obsess with other people’s behavior.  I pretty much actually follow the golden rule better than I ever have before.  I leave people alone and expect them to do the same for me.

The bigger question for many of Christianity would probably be – in rejecting Christianity, have you rejected Christ?  Well, that depends on whether you feel Jesus of Nazareth was just a historical figure or the Messiah.  I am not sure and it’s because of the accounts of his life.  I don’t reject Jesus as a historical figure or even as a revolutionary figure.  I just think like Paul Bunyan and John Henry, some people have added some tall tales to his life.  My point is that all the gospels are written by sympathetic believers and it is a reasonable criticism that they might have embellished the stories to prove what they wanted to prove, including the story of the resurrection.

Truth is, I like Jesus; I like his style.  I know it may surprise people but I still read the Bible but not with the same eyes I used to read it with.  I just think it contains truth with a small ‘t’ but I don’t think all of it is Truth with a capital T. Yes, I know someone once remarked that Jesus either is a liar, a lunatic or Lord.  The problem I have with that observation is that Jesus might not be seen as a liar or lunatic if the disciples hadn’t probably added a bunch of stuff to make him seem so.

Faith:

So what do I believe?  I believe in some form of higher power. Whether that is a god, gods and goddesses or the Force I couldn’t tell.  I don’t know enough to say and probably never will.  Like I said before I think it is unreasonably to say on the one hand there is no God and on the other hand it’s also equally unreasonable to think you know for sure what the divine is and how he, she or they work.  I just don’t buy either extreme based on a reasonable look at what humanity knows. I am learning it is far more relaxing to be comfortable with this ignorance. There is little I can do to change it, so I might as well live life as fully as I can.

Now, the one thing I will tell you is that if you are a Christian, I am not saying you are stupid or going to decry you for having faith in it.  I mean I had that faith myself for decades and I consider myself a reasonable human being.  Faith has that effect and so I get the struggle because I have struggled with it too.  I am not going to decry you for it or even make fun of you.  I get it.  For me walking away was years of agonizing frustration of wrestling with something. I simply could not have faith in something that to me didn’t make sense anymore.

Religion:

As a former and now retired pastor, I can say I miss some elements of religion but not many. I miss the fellowship of being with people.  I like gospel music for the vocal harmony of it.  I was never a fan of the pageantry and the rituals.  I did like putting together service that I hoped would inspire people.  I did enjoy preaching. The Pagan Pulpit every week will do the same for me, so I guess I am still good with it.

Putting aside the religion and the nonsense, I actually have been able to focus not so much on ‘avoiding sin’ and living with less sin; but rather, I have been able to focus on what I want to build in my life.  While I can agree with some that religion has done some great things, I also can see that it can also be used to justify some of the most evil acts in history.  It has also allowed those who believe a particular religion to look down their noses and think they are superior to others who are not of their faith.  Worse yet is trying to order society so that others are forced to follow their religion’s ethics even though they might disagree.

Theology:

If there is a god, gods or whatever, I think the theology of special revelation is the last place we want to look to discover what that divine power(s) is like.  Mostly this is because any revelation of the divine, if it actually happened, has to pass through the filter of human beings.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are good as a race.  People tend to look at humanity as evil but the vast majority of humans are just trying to make a life for themselves. I think if a person goes bad, it’s just that – they went bad.  They didn’t start that way.

No, it is not our lack of goodness that make special revelation problematic, it’s the fact we are prone to mistakes and such revelation has to be preserved over the centuries and like a game of telephone, the story gets edited and changed over time until the story we have is no longer what actually happened.  Too much humanity gets to play with special revelation and through ignorance, good intentions and yes the occasional person who uses religion to control, changes are made and the original revelation is lost.  Assuming, it wasn’t completely made up in the first place.

Spirituality:

Yes, I do meditate.  But meditation is not exclusively Christian nor is it exclusively religious or a matter of faith. I am not looking for any personal special revelation when I do it and a lot of other people don’t do it for that reason either.  Meditation is simply the act of clearing the mind and calming the emotions. It allows you to think much clearer and so it is what I do a lot to calm myself down and think.

What I don’t do is pray anymore.  I mean looking at it you see so many people using prayer to ask for stuff. They ask for wealth, fame and love for themselves.  It is very rare for people who pray to be truly selfless in their prayers.  If I ever do pray again, it will be like Esmeralda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I remain the happy outcast,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 68 – Living Life

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Welcome to the Pagan Pulpit.

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Down with the Sickness

Just a reminder that to be part of sick society is to become sick.  You won’t find fulfillment for yourself by doing so.  Better to die free on your feet than be a living slave on your knees.

Poem:

See the source image

Not mine but a good one.  I like this poem because there is a lot of passion in it, particularly persuasion.  It also is well written.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear the Reaper.

Nothing like a classic to remind you that living life in fear is not the way to go, even living in fear of death is a bad deal.  Live life and don’t fear The Reaper.

Text: Havamal 68

A warm fire
should be appreciated,
and the sight of the sun.
Enjoy your good health
(if you can keep it)
and embrace a life
without shame.

Sermon:

So we turn this week to the Havamal stanza 68.  When we boil it all down it is about living life and living it fully. Learning to appreciate life when it is good.  The good things in life however are not what people always think.  It is more often in the simple things that you find the greatest joy in living.

The Havamal points out three for consideration. 1) A warm fire, 2) The sight of the sun and 3) Good Health (adding the line if you can keep it)

  1. A Warm Fire –   have stood around many a warm fire.  I have one goal when i do finally get my own place and that is to have a legitimate fire pit.  Whether one is alone or together with friends a warm fire simply calms the soul and allows one to relax.  A good thing when living life.
  2. The Sight of the Sun – Nothing like a morning sunrise or sun set or just feeling the rays of the son in the middle of the day.  I actually appreciate the sun’s warmth in the middle of winter the most.  Reminds me that not everything in the world is dark and dreary.
  3. Good Health – If you an keep it good health allows you to enjoy life better than anything else. Once sickness and disease enters the struggle is more to stay alive than enjoy life.  I encourage everyone to do what they need to do to stay healthy. It will help you enjoy life that much more.

Embracing life without shame.  That’s the goal here.

Closing Song: Eric Idle – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (From Monty Python’s Life of Brian) 

True art and humor.  Gods, I miss Monty Python.  A little smile to send you on your way.  Until next week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!