Foundational Virtues

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Adding Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Love is an interesting virtue.  I said in the pagan pulpit yesterday that it is a motivating force for many people but it is not the best one. I am not; however, dismissing its value as an overarching consideration in decisions.  It is OK to be motivated by love as long as it is done freely.  Adding the virtue to the foundational virtues is a natural fit.

Honor, Courage and Truth can be seen as virtues that express different aspects of Love. Honor is love of self.  Courage is acting bravely in love of something one considers valuable or sacred.  Truth – well even the Bible says love rejoices in truth to which I would agree.

The problem is defining love.  There are many ways to look at love and languages reflect this difficulty, as almost all languages and cultures have multiple definitions of love and how those words and definitions can be used. Below is a thought I read that I think reflects the problem.

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Rather than having a definition that will restrict my understanding of love, I will leave it open and perhaps the many facets of love can be explored. mostly I want the theme of love to be used to evaluate the other three virtues listed here.  Honor, Courage and Truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I do have a very positive outlook right now about the future.  Right now my wife describes our life as ‘dull’, but I am glad for the simple normality of it.  I do however have a desire for something better in the sense of prosperity and comfort for the both of us, but mostly I am looking at myself and our relationship more positively.  I look to the future a lot more than the past. I see things better and better each day and that is the product of a developing sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is time t put myself back out there with a new direction in mind.  I am back to boarding the viking ship and setting a course.  A new course for my life and who I am.  I embrace this with courage and I am actually a lot happier right now than I have been in a while. It is time to act on that feeling and do so with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I find that I either speak the truth, which is actually quite rare or I say nothing. Perhaps one could say I speak a lot through blogging. This however is well thought out speech and carefully crafted.  Writing is like that.  Mostly though truth is about pursuing what is true and wise. It is not so much that I arrive at truth or wisdom or knowledge but that I am on a journey to discover it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In my Christian Days I cold easily just turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and had a definition of love that was given to me.  My problem with this definition even though I think it does define some aspects of love perfectly, is that it leaves out the physical side of love which in my mind is still important.  There is a reason why we call sex – lovemaking.

Trying to come up with a definition that is more encompassing of all aspects of love is very difficult.  I am not really going to try.

I simply will say at this point that every time I have a sense of honor about myself, that every time I act in courage and that every time I pursue truth that these are acts of love. This little section will chronicle each week what I discover though these actions.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Solid part of the day every morning.  Meditation is a little off right now because I want to make it more formal but I am still think as to how to do that. It may involve rearranging my office area a little.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I need a systematic plan here.  I am thinking that number 2 and number 6 are the most likely this year. To do these require money for the tattoos to be saved and the novel require regular writing. I could also add as a backup  number 7 Latin as I have the books to do that already. Need to start acting on these.

Mostly though I want to create a collage to put on my wall with representations of all of them.  Something more visual to remind me of them. That may be the first step.

Weightlifting:

I am going to join a gym this week or early next.  I can’t take not lifting anymore so I am just going to do it and make the adjustments as needed.  I have lost well over a month of gains and I need to fix that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Pursuing Virtue

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day.  Hope you had a great Yuletide. First post of the year 2019.

I remember the day I walked out of my church for the last time.  I was on my way to deliver my resignation but I had stopped at the church to make sure I had everything from there.  I picked up a few things and then stood in the pulpit behind the lectern one more time. It was one of those moments I probably will never forget.  Just me behind on a pulpit I had mounted countless times to talk about sin and salvation.  I guess you could say that the moment I walked away from that pulpit was the moment I walked away from Christianity. It was symbolic for me at least of a change in philosophy and belief.

My main thought as I locked the door behind me for the last time was “So, what are you going to live for now?” The question indicates a desire for purpose; that is for life mission.  I had been interested in viking myth, history and culture for a long time and ran accidentally into the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV).  As I read more about it, I realized the set of virtues was just what I needed for foundational framework for a new philosophy for living.

More recently I discovered three other virtues as I went through the nights of Yuletide: Love. Justice and Wisdom. The odd thing is that I had seen these in passing but I never really saw them dwelt on until the 12 nights of Yuletide as I read about that.  Of course I can see the value of these virtues and at the same time I can see that they are pretty universal and perhaps ‘higher’.  The question of purpose then seems to be more clear.

I have divided the nine noble virtues into three groups classified as foundational, business and self. But I can also see that the virtues could be divided as love, justice and wisdom.  Love being the foundation virtue.  Justice being the nature of how we are trying conduct the business dealings of our life. Wisdom reflects the desire to handle Self so we growing in understanding and personal strength. I want to think on these three some more and incorporate them in my weekly thoughts.  Probably the weekly recap as they would give my final thoughts on the week some needed direction.

Basically I am seeing these three virtues as the skeleton on which the other nine are the muscles that make them work, if that analogy makes sense.  But on to the Wolves and Ravens concerning virtue.

Needs (Geri): 

Why do I need to pursue virtue?  It is best interest of each person to improve themselves. We need to do this because those who do not stagnate and eventually die.  We also in my opinion need a foundational philosophy that is the basis for all our decisions, so there is consistency.  One of the things I have to say now is that Christianity never gave that to me. I will talk more about why in a moment.

Mostly though Need, the wolf Geri, is about necessity and part of the necessity of being a human being is to have a life’s purpose or mission. Without it, how do you differentiate yourself from being an animal?  For me this has been a struggle of need.  As I switch off Christian philosophy which is inconsistent, how do I switch on something that is less hypocritical?

Part of our need I think is to develop this foundation philosophy ourselves.  However, most of us instead of taking the time and putting in the effort to do so, turn to religion to do it for us and then wonder why we struggle. The reason we struggle is because the ‘one size fits all’ that most religions give to others, does not work for everyone. It is this working on our own philosophy for ourselves I think now that meets this foundational need. Running to religion is us just avoiding this need and justifying ethical and moral laziness.

Wants (Freki):

What I want is a philosophy that causes me to pursue something better for myself and those I love. One that motivates me to make a better life for myself. That harnesses the wolf of want (Freki) and uses it to make me act.  The problem with Christians philosophy is it focuses too much on this made up concept of sin.  You are constantly struggling between feeling guilty and trying to achieve virtue.  This is why it naturally leads to hypocrisy.  You are trying to achieve virtue in Christianity, but the doctrine of sin always allows an escape out. “Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet” or “I can’t help it I sin every day” or “I am just bound to my sin, I can’t escape it.” and other expressions dot the Christian phraseology as excuses for failure to be consistent.  I don’t want that dichotomy anymore because I think by its very nature it leads to the justified hypocrisy you see in Christianity.

What I ultimately want is a philosophy that focuses on positive progress and gives an honest assessment of human desire, not as righteous or sinful, but whether such desires are normal, beneficial or detrimental and how such desires can be rationally and wisely handled. Pursuing virtue does just that,  I can mark progress but can also accept who I am as a human being without looking at my human nature as sinful or evil.

Reason (Huginn):

Basically when I engage reason, the raven Huginn, on this topic of virtue, my favorite Marcus Aurelius quote comes out.

See the source image

The main thing is the last line:  You will be gone but will have lived a  noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I would also say it allows you to be live the best life for yourself while alive. It brings the most benefit to you and that is important.

These days when I am doing something and someone says I shouldn’t, I ask them for a rational reason why what I am doing is not virtuous?  If they can’t answer then they need to back off or come up with a reason.  I don’t want to hear about your god or holy book.  I want to hear how what I am doing is not beneficial to myself or it is somehow genuinely harmful to others. If they can’t do that: then perhaps that person might simple realize they are using some made up moral code to justify being judgmental of others without working on improving themselves. There is nothing virtuous about holding others to a standard that is neither rational or you don’t keep yourself.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that I need to continue to pursue virtue then.  I get what I need and want for myself and those I love without harming others in the process.  I also then am rationally pursing self-improvement with being judgmental of others as virtue says I work on me first and help others, not judge them.  I accept where I am but also seek to improve myself to be better.  I don’t spend a lot of time wallowing in self-pity or guilt because neither of those things help me improve. I eliminate excuses for not being better instead of justifying them with excuses, like I am a sinner and cant help myself.  These reasons along with many more are why I pursue virtue alone and thus embrace the wisdom of them. Both the NNV and the Higher Virtues provide the basic framework for that pursuit.

Conclusion:

As the weeks of this new year continue, I will through this platform called Of Wolves and Ravens be looking at more individual virtues and various aspects of philosophy.  The aim is the same which is ethical and moral improvement for myself. If on this journey you walk with me a little ways and discover something that helps you as well, then bonus for both of us.

Until next time,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Last Full Week

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. It’s the 5th night of Yule.  This night is sacred to community. A Feast usually done this night with a potluck, mead, friendship bread and gingerbread people. Tonight is about remembering the virtue of Hospitality.  

Journal Entry:

It being the last full week of the year, I am thinking about the changes to my routines and goals and so forth. This has really been a very difficult year looking back on it with deep lows and high highs.  Nothing really in between was present.  I suppose this is going to be a reflective week and I need to watch that. The Grey is still around and being overly focused on the negative can bring that down with more power.

What I want to do this week is have shorter journal entries and put more writing in the bottom part of the stuff on each journal entry to talk about changes and what I am trying to do there.  This is the last full week of the year, so it needs to be done.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I don’t see any need to change the Principle concerning this Virtue.  As far as honor goes think more about my future and less about the past. In that sense I feel some sense of value to my wife and family.  I feel valued by the co-workers but at the same time the work I do is not something I can or want to do forever.  I need something a little more significant from my perspective.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

No need to change things here either.  Things are working well and I feel more brave and it is going to be needed more and more as this next year starts to unfold.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

No need for change here either.  I simply need to get better about being truthful with myself and others. Or just keep my mouth shut. Mostly I am just trying to dedicate myself to study more and reading.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I already made changes here and this routine is the most solid I have. I really need to make the meditation part a little more formal but the routine itself is solid and works.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

One of these things has to come off this list by June 30th.  I don’t want to change anything here and perhaps what I do need to do is put a collage picture on the wall with representations of all these things. That should be side by side with one with my goals.

Weightlifting:

The only change needed here is I need a new gym and need to get back into lifting. This will probably happen after the new year or near the end of this one.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Needed Rest

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

A I look back at the now finished last semester, I can see the really problem is that summer was not restful so I went into the new semester tired and then had to move to a new home, keep working a new job and get off to a fast start at school and that just didn’t happen because m rest from the summer was just not sufficient and as I walked the platform Saturday, one thought I possessed was exhausted I felt. How I was looking so forward to just coming home from work and just resting. At least for a little while. It was a moment of triumph to be sure, but it was an exhausted one.

Mostly I just need a week or two to catch my breath.  I want to update and polish my resume, figure out the details of my internship and then just live my life. My eldest son posted on Facebook about my graduation and when I read it I did tear up a little:

Sucks that I wasn’t able to be there, but want to congratulate my dad Ed Raby on earning his degree from Ferris. A while back I can remember encouraging him to do this…so this is awesome to see. He is a hard worker who has spent years caring and teaching others without much appreciation. Glad he was able to do something that he wanted to do at this age for himself. On the path to doing something more self-fulfilling! Congrats Dad! Love you! 

You know sometimes I would wonder if I did a good job as a dad, and then one of my kids will do something like this and make it seem worthwhile.  He is right. I have been doing a lot for others most of my life while my life went on hold.  I was like never getting a rest and now I see that this made me vulnerable.  Too Vulnerable. I need to focus on me, my wife, my family and whatever the future holds for me.  But right now I hope the future holds the simple ability to catch my breath and enjoy the moment.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Graduation brought me a much needed feeling of honor.  I felt positive about me and my future and that was good, very good. As I left the stage, two faculty made it a point to stop me and congratulate me.  My advisor and Dr. Grey.  Two men who I have very high appreciation for.  One helped me at every turn in this journey so I kept moving forward and the other, just became kind of inspiration from a professor point of view. I will never forget the only class I had with him – Introduction to Ethics. It was where I began to realize that faith was inadequate for ethics and morals.  You have to have that within you or nothing else matters. Honor comes from within.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have many acts of courage to yet perform in the future.  Right now a rest will give me the time to think about them and what I need to do when the time comes.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I keep silent a lot these days, if you read the above you know why.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Meditate on the Virtues
  3. Review Goals
  4. Review Bucket List
  5. Full Body Stretch
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I moved my meditation on the virtues to number two.  I have actually been doing this for a while now.  Just thought I would make it official.  The morning routine is the most consistent thing of my day and it helps me get going and focus.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I think a tattoo is on the horizon. I gift to myself for graduating. Other than that I am thinking of starting to write my novel.  Recreational use of MJ is legal in Michigan so…we will see.

Weightlifting:

Today I will be signing up at a new gym and getting the first workout in about two weeks. I really need to have this return to my life. I miss the focus and meditation of it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Viking Soul

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I get asked once in a while if I have Viking ancestry and if that is why I like them so much.  Truth is I don’t know. Part of the mystery of being me is my father’s side of the family in that biologically, I might be. I do know that German blood flows in these veins and the whole Scandinavian – Germanic mythology was pretty much the same, except the names were changed and later the two mythologies merged. I want someday to do a genetics test and maybe hunt down some of dad’s ancestry.  I do hope there is some Scandinavian descent in there somewhere.

Were all human and I work very hard not to think my heritage makes me better or worse for that matter than everyone else. I reject racism of all types including the type done by liberals when they want white people to feel guilty for the past crimes of ancestors. I am only responsible for my own actions, not my father’s or any of my forefather’s

I do think I have a Viking Soul.  I resonate with the warrior philosophy of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).  I think what they believed deals far better with reality than many mythologies.  It digs back down into my pagan roots and finds the hand axe wielding tribal warrior standing there.  Grim faced and ready for battle. The man who appreciates home and hearth when he can get it, but also longs to board the ship and set sail at least for a time to fight for something better for himself and his family. To prove his value to himself most of all and to others as a bonus.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think I am just weary at this point.  I am just tired of what I am doing this semester and want it to end to make way for what is next. From an honor standpoint I struggle less with my own sense of self-worth. I struggle more with value in what I am doing and where I am going. I am also starting to address the question of looking for honor in this world I can value.  I know it is there, I just need to find it.  I need some vision of the future and the world I want to live in and then go find it and make it happen.  That is what I mean when I say I need to be positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Courage right now takes the form of being disciplined enough to get finished. I have basically a paper to do which counts toward two things and three short projects which constitute a final exam.  The first is due at the end of today and the second at exam time on Wednesday.  I already finished a take home final yesterday so that is done. Courage is facing the rest and getting them done.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is one thing I have had to consider about being a scholar at this time of exams and my capstone paper; it is truth.  The decision recently was to make this paper as close to the truth as I can make it. Regardless of whether or not that will get me a good grade. I am being given the opportunity to speak with words and in a defense so I will take it with full truth and nothing but the truth.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I haven’t had a problem with the Morning Routine.  It’s the most solid part of my life right now. I am going to consider my meditation practices once the semester ends.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I am looking forward to looking at this list closer during the break. Yeah, I may have to go one semester of full-time online stuff to get financial aid for my internship so Christmas Break might be a good time to take a breath and look at this list again and rewrite and redefine it.

Weightlifting:

Still looking for a gym but the most likely candidate is the one near where I work.  I can just get off work and go there before I come home. I will probably use the time to develop a four-day split and if I end up at work five days a week for whatever reason then one will get a double.  I may have to use the new gym time for walking at least until the snow clears.  The rails to trails is just a short walk from my apartment so once spring comes I will be grateful to get out and hike again.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A New Shore

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I get asked every once in a while about why I am getting a political science degree.  I must admit the name is a bit of misdirection as political scientists are actually quite diverse in their skill set.  I mean we have to understand the politics of people in groups from small groups to those as large as a nation.  We also have to understand the bureaucracy of getting things done in the government.  There is also the fact that we have budgets and a business side to consider. I have had three business management classes and some accounting to get my degree as well.

My two minors chip in as well as Economics and International Business stem from my interest in trade.  International Business for me has been about understanding exchange rates, the logistics of moving things from one country to another. Understanding that different cultures do business differently as well.  Economics has only enhanced my love for the concept of trade and trading and how it always benefits both nations.

When I look at what I would like to do next my dream job centers on this idea of being person who negotiates trade agreements between people.  I am not sure specifically what that would be.  I also would like to travel and see this world a little before I kick off of it.  I however also want to come to a place to call home. So maybe a job that travels every quarter for a week or two.  Go there, make money, come home.  Kind of like a viking.

I know my wife doesn’t want to leave Michigan and I agree, but I also want to have those moments and times where I can travel to someplace new and enjoy the process of doing business and then come home to wife and hearth.  If I could on occasion take her with me so much the better. It’s good to dream when you are looking to the future and this is mine. Well, that and own a bar and serve drinks.  That’s my retirement dream.

Mostly I want something that allows me to set foot on a new shore and see what there is to see.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Knowing I am noble of being is still a struggle. Part of this is finding the definition of what it means to be noble of being in and of itself and not attached to any religion.  It’s not easy to abandon your faith of four decades and find a new philosophy that reflects a more true version of yourself.  It’s a journey of discovery and takes a little courage to find that new sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is coming time to start job searching again and looking for a direction for a new career path.  This is going to take courage to do the interviews and the things I need to do to start looking for things that lead to that career. Time to be brave.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth is I have the potentiality to be a good anything, maybe even great. There is also the truth that whatever I pick I want it to fit me.  life is too short to not be doing what you enjoy and love. I need to remember that.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Once school is over there is really only one thing I want to concentrate on this list which is the meditation aspect.  I think the change might be to meditate more generally on the Nine Noble Virtues to see which virtue rises to the top.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I haven’t got much new to say about this other than if my job did entail travel the learning languages and taking a cruise to Budapest would be right up there as far as a way to having those fulfilled.

Weightlifting:

My gym closed and they started selling equipment so I need a new one.  The problem is I have little time to look so I will probably just take this week off, concentrate on school and then look during finals week.  Probably in the same city I work for now until I get a better job. I really hate to see this happen as it has been my gym home for the last three plus years.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – My Comeback

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week and next are going to be hell.  I have school to finish and there is a lot of work to do.  I also have to work a job and a marriage to maintain.  I also have to get enough sleep to function, so this means Discipline, Industriousness and Courage all in play.  Here we go.

I want to take time out to take a breath as I dive in headfirst and look to the future.  You have to see the finish line and the purpose of why you are doing what you are doing.  That provides motivation and I need motivation.

The above meme really does encapsulate my life so far.  These last few years have been rough ones and I really need to make 2019 my comeback year.

2016 – It did change me.  I learned who was really in charge of my church and no one was going to do anything to help me change it.  My crisis of faith started,  I took a sabbatical that year to think things over.  My course changed then.

2017 – Yeah, it did break me.  I began to think of my marriage and ministry as a sham.  A good friend died that summer and several things changed.  I became painfully aware of a deep loneliness and depression.  This was my state at the end of the year when a woman started to enter my life, but I really didn’t have feelings that were inappropriate for her until the next year.  I was just thankful at that time for a new and growing friendship.

2018 – This has been a year of opening my eyes.  I discovered how false many of the friends, particularly in church, I had were.  In February, my organist died and this affected me deeply because at that point all the old I had started with was gone.  The real problem was only one person was really listening to me and helping me through it. This lead to an emotional affair, my trying to resign over it but being fired instead, a near divorce, the loss of a close ‘friend’ who turned out to not be a friend.  An emotionally up and down summer with a breakup, a marriage reconciliation, moving and a new job all while continuing school.  The scales have definitely fallen off my eyes and like the Phoenix, I am rising from the ashes of 2018 as an awake and very different person. I feel true to myself at last and, as I wrote yesterday, ‘The Fire of Fury’ burns in my bones and I am ready for what is next.

2019? – I need this to be a comeback year, a new career direction, a stronger marriage and renewed prosperity. I am determined to make it happen.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I am suspecting that after these next three weeks are over and things are at last done for the majority of my school work. I will feel like more honor is restored at that point.  I will feel that things will be better at least from a self-worth standpoint. I will have achieved something I set out to accomplish. Then it will be a simple matter of finding a way to use the education to better myself further.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

There is a lot to act on and I cannot hesitate at this point.  I have a lot to do and nothing can distract me either so I need to stay focused and go forward.  The fear to overcome is that I won’t finish everything.  I need to bury that and just start eating the last elephant, one bite at a time.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth is that I need to continue to be truthful with myself. It is what has kept me making good decisions for a bit now.  This truth thing leads to a lot better path, but one that is often more difficult.  It is however the difficulty of the truth that makes us struggle more and thus get stronger.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I have to say this morning routine is the most successful one I have ever done. I actually look forward to it every morning.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

So by July 1st, 2019 I need to cross one of these off.  We will see if its learning one of the languages, the novel or getting a tattoo or two. Those are my best bets at this point.

Weightlifting:

I am going to visit all the gyms in the town where I work very soon.  My membership at my current gym expires in a few weeks.  It also looks like it will be shutting down for good anyway.  There are three options based on a preliminary look, so I will be looking at all of them probably during exam week as I won’t have an incredible amount to do.  By the time exams are over, I will have to make this decision.  I really hate to leave my current gym.  It was a love at first sight thing and I will miss it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – End of the Semester Surge

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

As Thanksgiving approaches for those of us who are students, the end of the semester surge is upon us where we have too many papers, too many pages of reading left, too many exams to study for and too many projects.  It’s time for the end of the semester surge where we put every waking moment into getting things done. My 49-year-old super senior ass is no exception.

This one is a little different.  It’s my last one of undergrad work for this my third degree. Probably my last ever undergrad semester and to be honest, it makes me a little sad.  I have enjoyed every moment of going back to school even the hard semesters. I have discovered there is a better person here than was there three and a half years ago.  Someone who can face the tests of education in his older age and come out smiling. But most of all it has been my privileged to get to know a younger generation class after class and started me thinking very highly of them.

Most older people decry the younger generation.  The Millennials certainly seem to be a favorite punching bag of those retired and working for a living as an example of entitlement and privilege.  Lazy and naive about real life.  Unable to get out of their glass bubble and face the real world.  I have not found this to be so.  Instead I have found much my like my own generation when we were young; a group of people with diverse points view, dreams and hopes for the future. They work hard in a lot of ways and understand things that I have difficulty grasping.  Mostly I have found  group of people who care deeply about others and the world around them.  They may be different but they are no better or worse than any other generation before them.  The have the same fears and joys. they just express them differently in a different world. I have come to love and respect them,

I am also happy to be done.  I love learning but there is a time to move on and the time is now.  I don’t know completely what the future holds but I am happy for the experience of going to school again and learning.  When I walk across the platform December 15th, I know I will be the happiest I have been in a long time.  I need this achievement because it means I can still do things I want to do.  I can still set goals and achieve them.  No matter what others say, I have this confidence in myself.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I was meditating the other day and a thought came to me about my closure issues. Sometimes you don’t choose when a door gets shut, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk through it again. When it comes to the past I guess this is something to take to heart. I can’t let the past’s open doors be a hindrance to finding new doors to open. Closure will come in its own good time. Honor does not depend on closure, it depends on being positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

The end of school is fast approaching so the act of bravery that I am contemplating is dusting off my resume and sending it out at month’s end.  I haven’t looked for a new career in a long time.  Note I said career and not job.  I am not sure what occupation I want to be yet.  In that respects I am still a typical college student.  I want to find something that is a career I can enjoy and that leads to better and better things for me and my wife.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is anything that bothers me from time to time it’s when people tell me what they were told that I did and it is far from the truth. This still bothers me, but the rumor mill is what it is.  My question I constantly ask myself is if it is worth it to respond.  My answer is most often ‘No.’  Mostly becasue any person who is just rumor mongering about me isn’t worth the time.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

Very solid and the meditation time is more formal. I have it take my phone and it’s stopwatch for it.  Three minutes is usually enough. Once school is done, there might be some changes to it as far as additions but perhaps I would be better served with an evening routine. I have just never had a lot of success with those.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

The more I look at things on this Bucket List, I am thinking my tattoos might be the first thing or at least get the first couple.  Getting drunk and smoking a joint I might keep for a special occasion of some sort.  Writing my Novel will probably start as soon as school is over and I am thinking spend an hour on it minimum as part of the daily routine will replace my study time. Many of the other ones are going to require prosperity.  My wife wants to go on a cruise, I would like it to be a European river cruise that stops in Budapest.

Weightlifting:

The gym question remains.  Much is unknown so I need a gym that will go month to month, but I also have little reason once school is over to drive into the town when my current gym is. It might mean switching to a gym where I currently work and then waiting and seeing what happens to the job situation. For that purpose I have fund a smaller gym in the city I work and that might do very well for me.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Holiday Nutrition

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

My friend recently posted the above meme and generated a very interesting discussion between his wife, himself and the few other friends he tagged.

Whenever I have lost weight I always get the comment: “Holidays are coming, what you going to do then?” Well, for one I am not going to annoy people about my dietary accomplishments.  It undercuts the whole spirit of celebration that is supposed to be around the holidays.

Secondly, I am going to live with the understanding that one day here and there off diet is not going to destroy my plans.  I can participate with my family in whatever they are eating.  If its meat laden I will probably grab more of it along with veggies and fruit where available. I will have things I am not supposed to eat with my diet.  It will be a scheduled cheat day and I will cheat because it is good for the soul to just enjoy life and all the food that is available.

Finally, the rest of the time during the holidays, I will be very strictly Paleo with my intermittent fasting every other week.  This will be at least 6 out of seven days and will more than make up for the one day here and there that is bad. More details do follow.

As for the rest of this journal entry, I am feeling better although this week has been very frustrating as my car has been out of commission, so my wife and I have had to juggle things and borrow.  Our other car has had two flat tires this week.  Yeah, not feeling really friendly toward cars these days.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

My discipline is being stretched right now as the end of the semester is upon me for the last time ( for this degree anyway).  I am really struggling to get things done but it is not as bad as it was.  I am now in the mode where I realize each day a lot of writing needs to get done.  This blog becomes my break from all that academic writing, so I look forward to it every morning.  I am starting to get hard on myself though with the studies. It will pay off.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I haven’t been defeated yet, I haven’t failed in a while.  That said, I prepare myself for the inevitable reality of it.  This is why I spend time meditating and trying to find ways to heal up a little better.  I also prepare my mind for this reality. I know I will fail to get defeated at some point, the preparation is so I get up quickly and get going again as fast as possible.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The issue of thanksgiving comes up as a loyalty concern to God for some.  I am not sure that is what this holiday is about.  It’s probably more about being thankful that there is a good meal on the table, family, friends and football.  If there is a family holiday it is this one.  I will write a little more on this in next weeks Odin’s Eye, but for now I can say my feelings about this holiday are still the same, but I find that perhaps it was always more about family than faith.

The subject of friendship comes up a lot.  I have lost quite a few and I have cut off more than my share.  I tend to be very loyal to my friends.  Almost to a fault. At the same time my circle is small because I don’t trust at that level with just anyone.  Recent events have made me even more cautious about who I say is my friend.  I am already introverted so most of my friends are extroverts who adopted me or long time friends who are more like family.  I probably could use a few more close friends but because I give much, I expect much in return.

I guess having been so disappointed recently in many of my ‘friends’, I am a little gun-shy about friendship in general. Seems like people only want your friendship because they gain something out of it and the moment you become a problem for them, they dump you. I don’t think I could take that right now, my heart is bruised enough already.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

Solid this week, I only missed a day of walking because a class was cancelled. It still brings up the fact I need to find some alternative when I don’t have school and that will be very soon.

Nutrition:

OK.  The details of this nutritional plan are all about my 50th birthday which is Monday, March 18th, 2019.  MY goal here is to be in the best shape I have been in a long time in terms of fat loss, my muscles lean and strong and the whole thing flexible.  I want to look really good.  My main struggle for years was nutrition, but I think I have found a formula that works for me as evidenced by recent gains.

It’s just not as tight as it could be. I am not strictly Paleo as carbs do find their way into my diet probably every day and I want to handle that.  Mostly it is bread because sandwiches are cheap.  I also would have to say cereal is like that too. I need a bread substitute and something like cereal with the same affordability and quickness of preparation.  Something to research this week.

I haven’t always been strict of have a pattern about the intermittent fasting either.  I want to do this every week. I eat breakfast so I can take my pills and after that I should go on a no food lock down until 2 pm.  My eating window should be breakfast and from 2 pm to 8 pm.  If I get a different job that is more normal than the 4 am to 1 pm I usually work then this would probably shift to noon to 8 pm and I would take my pills at noon. I actually would probably like that a lot.

I am going to run this diet from November 23rd (Day after Thanksgiving) until my birthday and probably to the end of March.  Cheat meals will be the holiday gatherings and birthdays.  I will also give myself three cheats a week during this time which I might add as a part of the weekly routine to count it. In the meantime I need to do some research for Paleo alternatives to certain things.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t know about things here still.  I feel good about some of it and feel other parts of it still need work.  I have discovered that not giving a shit what people think can lead to sense of self value and thus honor.  That said, honor is still a struggle. Courage is much better and so is Truth.  If anything Truth has been off the chain for me lately and I have to exercise a lot more tongue biting than normal.

Business – The basic struggle here is still the same.  My wife and I need to get to a place of financial security that has enough extra prosperity to start working our plans.  Right now things are tight because we need to really increase our income.  Once that happens, Self-reliance and Hospitality will be much easier.  Both of us are definitely hard-working so that’s not a problem.

Self – The friendship fidelity questions remain but the Discipline and Perseverance questions are less and less each week.  I am starting to feel a little more relaxed about things because of those two.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!