A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Perseverance

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I look at my life I can say if there is any virtue more natural to me than Perseverance, I don’t know what it is. Getting up off the ground is a skill I have mastered and I must say it is part natural and part encoded into me through four years of high school football.  “Get off the ground”, “Coyotes never quit.” etc. pounded in my every practice and every play. It has become a lifestyle.

I know someday I may fall and not get back up.  That came very close to happening last year. But I winced in pain and stood back up and kept walking.  The Grey Wayfarer was born at that moment and to be honest was born of pure stubborn will to succeed or at least survive.

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

It is the best possible definition I can think of.  There are many, but this one just makes it simple and succinct.

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Yep.  Like this too.  No better way to put it.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

This basically combines two of my previous goals into one goal.  It puts a full package and balanced exercise plan to work to improve my health.  Along with Nutrition this is about improving my health and gaining long term health.  All of these activities not only require perseverance to stick with, but also build strength, endurance and flexibility – key components of perseverance.  It just makes sense to me for this goal to be this way.

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My tattoos are going to be about my journey,  so they don’t have to come all at once.  They are also a measure of prosperity in my mind as I would use money that is more disposable income to get them. In any case I am taking a long view on this issue and setting a deadline. My list changes from time to time but there have been some consistent points.  I will probably talk more about this next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Looking at this diet question I don’t have a lot of time to really work on it, but the main issue is it being a Full Paleo Diet plan.  Now when I say that, I make exceptions for a few things.  There will probably be a cheat meal once per week. Special occasions will allow for alcohol and addition cheat meals.  But mostly I am struggling with dairy. I will think on it some more.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Seeing the whole picture here means a visual representation of perseverance in my body – it’s health and how it looks. To build through perseverance a body worth putting art on is what you see here.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

By the time I get to Fidelity next week, I will either be very clear what should be here or completely lost. The wife, family and friends orientation will have to be present. The goal might still be on my list, but the bucket list is empty here. Another thing to think on.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I think this realignment has been one of the wiser things I have done.  It really is bringing things into focus and that is good.  I think it also is going to bring my routines in line with everything as well.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

Going to have to bring this into more compliance with everything.  Next week is all about finalizing the realignment and getting the routines to actually do things that head toward my goals and the bucket list.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Honestly, I think this routine might die.  I think I would be better served in putting the things on it on other routines. If all I do is brush my teeth and go to bed that’s not a routine, that is just a smart thing to do.

Nutrition:

This is going to disappear after today. It’s under discipline with the goal, so I no longer need a separate section.

Weekly Recap:

Name change – Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved.  And that is what this is going to do.  Keep track of the number of each and what they were.  I expect both of them to grow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Discipline

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Discipline is a very interesting word as it defines a lot of different things. Mostly in this context it is doing the things that need to be done every day to achieve the goals you want to achieve. When coupled with perseverance, it is an unstoppable force to getting where you want to go.  I was recently browsing through Barnes and Noble in the business section and found that there were at least ten books on discipline and many others where discipline is a key element among a very few.

For me discipline expresses itself in routines and doing things when they need to be done. The issues for me; most of the time, are procrastination and The Grey.  In any case though the one thing that keeps me moving forward the most is discipline and both those opposing problems are overcome by discipline.

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

I don’t really have a problem with this virtue as it is written. In fact, it is one of the best definitions of discipline I know.

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Don’t really have a problem with the principle either. It has kept me thinking on the issue of connecting my life to discipline.  No the real issue is the goal and bucket list item. Both have to be self oriented and connected with discipline. I originally thought my weightlifting would be a good fit, but in truth while this can be hard at times, it is not the self-discipline I struggle with the most.  No, that belongs to Nutrition.  At the same item as I looked at the other goals and bucket list items, weightlifting does not fit anywhere else all that well. I realize the whole issue of health fits here as it is the most easily seen thing where discipline leads to results but at the same time.  The weightlifting, nutrition and walking all are part of this taking charge of my body and living healthy as possible. So which to choose.

This is the point in the realignment that I realized that a complete rewrite of some goals and bucket list items might be needed to make this realignment a reality. I also looked at my goals and bucket list items and realized some just straight up don’t work anywhere.  This is particularly true for the bucket list.  So what goal to set and what bucket list item to pursue? It also becomes clear at this point that may goals I have currently are not that SMART. Goals should also have a singular point not be multifaceted.  Simplicity here is key.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Nutrition is by far the most challenging thing for me and it is time I take in on full speed.  This gives me the rest of March to prepare.  I also can start to look at what items I can eat and drink.  Mostly, what I see is eliminating dairy and the other items in my diet that I need to purge. Coming up with Paleo alternatives is going to be the real challenge and I hope a fun one.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Visit a Nudist Resort. I haven’t decided yet. Something along those lines.  My tattoos are not on this list because they will be connected with Perseverance. The idea is to plan an act of rebellion and execute it. Live life a little as a reward for successful discipline.  Something undisciplined to counter all the discipline.

One other thing.  This realignment thing has pointed out that I can streamline the A Skald’s Life posts. I can do this by including the specific goal and bucket list item under each Virtue as well as the principle.  This would allow me to consider them together.  I will start this process next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I think I have spoken enough on this today, but there will be changes to the routines that reflect all this.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

As I said my tattoos will probably be here as the Bucket List Item. The goal might have to involve exercise.  I do two things for this Walking and Weightlifting. How to couple these into one exercise program. Stretching fits in here too. Something that involves a complete exercise program is what I am thinking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Still thinking on this one but it involves relationships so my marriage. family and friends come to mind.  Mostly though I think both the goal and bucket list will be about my wife and I.  It may involve family and friends but it is going to focus on the two of us. I have some ideas but I will keep them to myself for now.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this realignment is centered on two principles – minimalism and simplicity. The goal is a more streamlined system of working the virtues out in my life that is simple.  So the effort required is much less. I want o achieve my goals as efficiently as possible and that involves making the pursuit less time-consuming and yet remaining effective.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The decision to go full Paleo Diet and next weeks exercise changes will involve some rewriting of the routine here.  I am hoping it will make these things more likely to get done.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Still need an effective trigger here. But also look at the idea of beating diabetes so the first one just says supplements.

Nutrition:

Full Paleo by April 1st.  Means doing some homework and dumping some things from my diet. I still think a cheat meal once a week is a good idea. Keeps you from going completely bonkers with cravings.

Weekly Recap:

The weekly recap is going to change because I think I can divide what I normally do here among the three A Skald’s Life posts as well. But a weekly recap is still needed on Friday but it might be where I keep my Goal and Bucket list Counts as well as have a more general feelings about the week and what needs work.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Eating the Elephant

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I looked at the task of aligning my Virtues, Principles, Goals and Bucket List I realized this is and elephant sized task.  It is not just these things that need to be looked at but also the Routines and other associated items that go with everything. So I looked at the calendar and realized I have nine Skald’s Life posts left after this one in the month of March.

If I am going to take this one bite at a time then I think the answer has presented itself in that I can take one virtue on at a time with its associated Principle, Goal and Bucket List Item.  There are certain Routines associated with each type of Skald’s Life so can deal with them one at a time for three weeks as well. The plan is:

Week of March 10th to 16th: Honor, Self-Reliance, Discipline

Week of March 17th to 23rd: Courage, Industriousness, Perseverance

Week of March 24th to 30th: Truth, Hospitality, Fidelity

Of course the end of this week, which started out very well, began to have major The Grey issues.  This started Wooden’s Day at work and pretty much is still going.  So there is a real necessity to keep going right now to keep this depression thing from dominating my birthday or the celebrations of the birthday’s of others. There is just too much at stake right now for The Grey to slow me down.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

It all comes down to discipline at times. It is either that or Courage. I guess discipline is that which you do when you are at peace to prepare for war.  Courage is what you need in war.  So I find myself alternating on my bad days between the two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess I can say that there might be an observation that perseverance is the product of this alternation between Discipline and Courage.  I mean, I should talk more about how the virtues overlap.  I guess I do that with the Higher Virtues in a sense.  Honor Courage and Truth being center to Love, etc. Every once in a while though you see a connection between say Honor and Fidelity.  Those should be noted when I see them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The loyalty thing to folk and friends are good.  I mean these I would perceive as pretty solid and for the most part strong.  I am struggling right now with two aspects of this virtue. 1) Being loyal to myself.  I mean a half a year ago there were certain things I wanted for me and I still feel like I am struggling to get there.  I feel at times I am still the pastor in mentality, where I give up something I need or want, so someone else can benefit.  I suppose old habits die-hard and all that, but if I am going to be loyal to myself my goals and bucket list have to focus on loyalty to myself.  Otherwise this has all been for nothing. 2)  “One’s Gods and Goddesses”  – yeah, who or what are they? Does my Deism, Humanism and Paganism count as this? Yeah, there are a lot of unanswered questions on that part. The thing I am most loyal to philosophically is the Nine Noble Virtues, so perhaps this isn’t a problem really. All that then is really missing is the personification. 🙂 I just need to figure out how this part works.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

In wisdom, it is wise to consider one’s mortality. I know I consider mine every birthday.  I always ask at some point how many more birthdays do I have left?  It is not really being morbid. It’s just being wise.  On the one hand one should like each day like it is his or her last.  One the other hand, you should plan like you are going to live forever. So each day is lived like it is your last with greater purpose.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real problem with this routine is not desire.  Gods I want to lift so bad again, but until I know where I am going to be with my next job, the gym is not an option.  Perhaps a simple bench and few dumbbells would hold me over but my bucket list requires some barbells and significant weight. Walking without proper winter gear is not an option right now either.  I keep them on the list though because it reminds me that they need to return as quickly as possible,  Writing is still a struggle but Cleaning is not.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Toughest routine to remember to do. Need my daily list or I would forget it. Even with the list I forget it at times.

Nutrition:

Went back to two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  This seems to work the best and it keeps me leaned out.  I think with this in place, I can fine tune things a little at a time until I get where I truly want it to be.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t know, The Grey really clouded things here this week.  I had to trust my instincts a little more when it came to some things. Honor is the hardest thing when you are depressed.

Business – Finding a new job with better pay is getting pivotal to not only the future prosperity of my wife and myself.  It is becoming critical for me as far as value. My own sense of personal value is starting to feel the need for it.

Self –  Writing on Tyr’s Day about Fidelity was particularly emotional taxing. I think this set me up to be triggered when some thing were said by certain people ,and it caused a Grey Storm to start. I know what a lot of my triggers are, but sometimes I don’t know what form they will take or sometimes there are new ones I never considered. I suppose it is the catch twenty-two of depression.  You have to talk about the past to deal with it, but sometimes by doing that you open the door to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – ‘Live Long and Prosper’

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Star Trek is a complicated conversation for me, as it used to be about something that examined all issues fairly in a science fiction setting.  With all the new series and such, my issue of course is that the universe known as Star Trek is it has taken on a life of its own. So much so, that it is impossible to keep up.  Star Trek for me remains sitting in front of the television as a boy watching the original series.  It shaped me in that I learned very much to look to a future that was optimistic. Not the same optimism that Gene Roddenberry had, but optimism nonetheless.

There are many truisms from that series and one of my favorites comes from Spock and the simple goodbye ritual of saying -“Live long and prosper.”  In the absence of religion or faith, it is a blessing that is very mystical, yet secular.  It is also a worth goal and a from a Self point of view, it sums up my objectives very well.  Just trying to live a long life in as much prosperity as I can.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Being hard on yourself, knowing you can always do better, can be challenging.  I am right now testing my discipline by basically not keeping my paper journal this week.  What I have discovered is fairly typical – I am now doing some things automatically, other things I am not, or I am forgetting to do some things without the journal. It illustrates the process of how discipline takes something that is a good activity from something difficult, to something that requires less and less of a push until it becomes a habit.  Most things re somewhere along the line of knowing it is a good thing to do and starting out to habit.  Most are somewhere in between those two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I know that the next half a year or so is going to require a lot of perseverance emotionally and mentally.  Memories right now of last year at this same time are going to haunt me.  There will be a lot of things that I look back on with a lot of sadness. This sadness can and probably will at times cause me to shut down emotionally. For me that means becoming cold and feeling nothing.  The Grey.

There will be a lot of voices in my head that will not be positive.  I have to keep going despite it all. My only hope is that on the other side of all this there will be better days and I will be stronger for walking through it.  That’s what keeps me going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Being loyal to myself is the central thing right now.  For the first time in my life, I think the priority of my own prosperity on all levels is present.  If people find this selfish, then they can bite me.  People always call others selfish when people don’t do what they want to advantage themselves.  For me if I don’t keep myself going, then everyone who depends on me also suffers.  I have lived long giving to others at the expense of myself that this is a whole new world for me in some ways and fear of course is there. It is courage and loyalty to myself that cause me to pick up my war axe and keep walking forward.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance has been the word of wisdom this week.  Trying to keep my foundation, business and self aspects in balance.  It can be a challenge, but in so doing, I find myself more at peace. Unfortunately it is a peace that requires victory and victory implies battles and wars to fight.  But it is peace that can be achieved so I fight.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

The weekly routine goes completely to hell when I don’t keep my paper journal.  I think I cleaned once this week and didn’t write at all. Cheat meal Count? Who knows.  Yeah, this one requires keeping it in front of me every day so I am reminded to do it.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Tough one as well without a journal to remind me.  When I look at all of the routines – the morning one and the daily one have the most habits that are automatic. The weekly stuff and the evening stuff are still things I have to remind myself to do.

Nutrition:

Off script this week.  Basically a week of whatever although I do find that I gravitate toward low carb foods or the flip side things that have enough sugar to make my diabetic side cringe. That’s the yin and yang of it right now with nutrition when I don’t force myself to keep track of it. Extreme either way.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  Off script, these are the virtues that hold up best. They are after all stuff that is a constant more than the others.

Business – This area needs more focus and events at my current job have reminded me once again why a change in job is needed.

Self –  I struggle the most here off script.  I really need more of a habit of taking care of me as a whole. Perhaps it speak as to how my last occupation taught me to ‘deny self’ to the point of losing myself.  I now consider this one aspect of Jesus’ teaching I would demand further explanation on; because once you have spent all, then you lose and everyone else wins at your expense.  I fail to see the good in this at all anymore.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – The Path to Self-Fulfillment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I find walking to be fulfilling.  In that regard, I think the path I choose in life should also be fulfilling.  I never want to be in the position I was before asking: “What do I get out of this?”, and not have a positive answer.  I don’t believe this is selfish, so much as it is self-preservation.  Perseverance requires something within to stand back up and keep going.  Something has to feed that.  We do things that either feed that or drain it. When we are drained, we can do some very dumb things to find peace and happiness.  I speak from experience.

Putting it together then as I stand at a crossroads o fork in road as life’s wayfarer, I guide my decisions based on these there criteria. Does this path lead to Virtue, does this path lead to Success and does this path lead to Self-fulfillment.  If the path has a yes to all three of those, it is likely one I should take, More often than that I find that either 1) Many paths meet this three-fold requirement and then other factors come in or 2) none of them meet all three, so I pick the one that has the most, and then hope for a choice down the road that is better.

At the end of the day, I simply want to look back at my choices as say they followed virtue, lead to success and were fulfilling personally.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I still keep looking to make discipline more and more of my life. Getting past the times of The Grey is simply easier when I do things automatically.  I am however making a major change in that I am working on the idea that all my steps and routines must be done as much as possible before I can take a break or do something I enjoy.  The greatest challenge I face is to take a break from things, and then not have the discipline to return.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess the feeling I have here is like a hiker who has hiked through as storm and now looks back from the hill and sees that storm behind him.  It doesn’t mean that there are not more storms ahead, but there is some satisfaction in looking at what I survived. Then you look forward in new strength and keep going forward.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It is times of the Storm that challenge you in regards to fidelity.  There is tension between loyalty to ones self, and loyalty to those who have been loyal to you.  Some how you have to be loyal to yourself and do what you need to do for you, but at the same time not forget those who have been loyal to you.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Virtue, Success, and Self-fulfillment.  Sounds like the path of wisdom to me.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

#1 and #3 are still on hold until the weather improves and I get a better job that can allow me to afford the gym again.   I have an idea for writing that will probably start me down that path more consistently.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

The evening routine is the most challenging of all of them. This is because I have to wait to the end of the day for it to happen and by that time The Grey might basically be motivating me to just go to bed.

Nutrition:

I am definitively have troubles with the zeros.  I don’t think this is a level I will stay at.  The one that worked and was most comfortable and successful was two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  After my birthday, it is where I will probably camp for a while. The one thing I can say is the diet has kept my weight and fitness level stable despite no walking or the gym.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I feel better here.  I don’t like thinking about the past because it is a bummer.  It is sometimes unavoidable.  That said, thinking about a more positive future for myself and my wife has been a good way to move on. Virtue has been the key there.

Business – Success and defining it have been very helpful this week.

Self –  Need to remember me.  Self loyalty is a must.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Running a Tight Ship

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week has been a simple assessment of how to keep the virtues going during times of The Storm or The Grey.  Depression to the rest of you. Foundational Virtues make sure that I am facing The Storm with courage, honor and truth.  I am not running from it.  Business Virtues mean I stay on course.  I did point out the problem here was having a course and I think I have started to take that. Where the Self Virtues come in is the notion of running a tight ship.

The idea is that you stay disciplined, keep doing what needs to be done and trust your crew but make sure everyone is doing their job, including you. Right now keeping  my self together is running a tight ship and it is what will probably help me get to the end of this time of feelings.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

The Routines, the daily doing of things that I am trying to make into habits are what helps here.  It is what keeps my life from going completely ape shit.  This state would lead to shipwreck because things would start to full apart and The Grey Storm would then take over.  Nothing good then would happen.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

You keep going.  I get the definition of defeat and failure being a part of this, but there is a part of me that also understands perseverance is also going forward despite resistance. You keep sailing and you keep the sail trim.  You keep rowing when the wind is contrary or non-existent.  You don’t let circumstances stop you from making progress.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

All ships have a crew.  Even though this whole analogy means looking at my life, I couldn’t get where I am without support.  I just keep my circle small and value loyalty more than numbers these days.  It is hard sometimes when I get in The Grey Storm to do the proper maintenance of those relationship even though they are few in number.  So I go do it anyway.  That can be the hard part.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom – it’s a difficult thing sometimes to figure out what it is.  I have had many trying times these last few weeks.  Mostly though I have come to realize that doing things as a matter of habit can help you keep yourself together when you really just want to go back to bed.  It is not a wise course to set to just quit. It just makes things worse.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 1

There is a real practical problem with this routine and that is some of the things are just missing. The Cheat Meal Count is very low and I am sure I have broken it this week with Valentine’s Day, The Grey and so on.  Cleaning and Writing have been good. but that is about it.  I really need the snow to go away and to get some sort of weights in my life again.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

If I get the notion to do this right after my evening meal, it gets done.  The real challenge is thinking about it at that time.  I need some way to remind me consistently.  Reading has been nice at the end of the day, but I did take some time with this to watch movies with the wife instead.

Nutrition:

I may have to modify things here.  The intermittent fasting goes pretty well. I get up and food stays away until I have been up eight hours or so. The real issue is the Paleo Diet and finding things that are quick and easy.   The last month here is going to be tight but I am not sure practically I can get rid of all carbs.  I would like to, but eating with my wife and making dinner with her means carbs get in and I eat them.  So I might stay at one cheat meal a week and one carb source a day for the duration but I might extend the intermittent fasting to more hours a day or I might simply eat less each meal.  My 50th Birthday is very soon and I want to see how healthy I can be and look by then.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t perceive a problem here with myself.  I actually feel this part was what helped me though this week the most. I probably will do another “The Grey and The Wayfarer soon that reflects the last week and a half, but I can say now that it is my sense of courage and honor that kept me going this week.

Business – I think I have identified the core problem which is a lack of vision for my new career.  I need at least basic compass direction and I think I have done that this week by heading down a business path. I want to keep writing as a side career.  It might take off and be my business someday, but until then I think I at least can board the ship I call my life and say – ‘were heading this direction”.  What we will find may still be a mystery, but then again that is kind of the point of an adventure.

Self –  This has been a struggle, but through the struggle I have found a sense of keeping things together.  Don’t get me wrong, I have messed up on this week at times. But it is the times I do get the routines done and do what needs to be done and keep going that I have found my way through The Grey Storm. It has been good overall.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Skill in Battle

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

When it comes to being ready for the battles of life and developing the skills I need as warrior of life, it is the Self Virtues that do this most. Discipline has obvious implications but there is also the perseverance and fidelity virtues that teach me that continuing to  strengthen my resolve and relationships leads to being a stronger and more skillful warrior of life as well.

These also are the ones that help with The Grey the most.  This had been a bad week as far as how I personally feel, probably triggered by some bad memories and a bad dream I had Tuesday night.  No, I don’t feel sad.  That’s not what depression does for me.  It just makes me feel numb.  I found this on the internet this week that describes it perfectly.

Image may contain: text that says 'People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to life. You wake up in the morning just to g0 back to bed again. HealthyPlace.com'

It is this feeling that is The Grey. But I am the Grey Wayfarer – I keep up the Discipline of walking through it. I Persevere and I close ranks with my Circle in Fidelity.  It is the only ways I have found to combat The Grey and numbness that goes with it.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I do struggle with the discipline of life when I get like this.  The temptation is to just stop and exist.  But I keep getting up and doing my routines and sticking to my plan because eventually it is the thing that gets me out of it. It is the thing that develop’s the skills I need to fight it.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Keep walking.  I guess I can say about this week when it comes to Perseverance. I keep walking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Close ranks, stay loyal to family and philosophy and keep moving.  These are the strengths of fidelity in The Grey.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Keeping Balance in times like these is difficult.  Love is hard because you feel nothing and Justice is hard because you are self-absorbed in times like this.  Wisdom however at items has fertile ground in these times of depression for me. You have to be careful and keep it in context becasue as I have said before The Grey makes it hard to see clearly at times, but it is the coming out of the grey clouds of depression, that usually I have a moment of insight.  A minor epiphany does happen and things get better. Balance returns and wisdom grows.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 1

The dropping of the cheat meal to one has really been a challenge here. I do however think I have a plan for weightlifting as I may simply purchase a few dumbbells to at least keep my muscles toned at home, until some final decisions regarding a gym can be made. This might also be helpful in times when life gets busy.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Still a challenge, I need to simply get in my head that supper time is the trigger to working through it and I will be OK I think.

Nutrition:

This time of special nutrition has been in many ways a really good thing.  I haven’t been able to lift or walk and so it is keeping me from blowing up like a balloon.  Of course there is the thing of the stress level in my life being lower because I no longer carry the burdens of a lot of other people now that I am out of the ministry. That has had a good effect on my health as well.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – The Foundational Virtues have been good this week.  Courage is more than a warriors virtue, it is a life virtue and having the courage this week to just get up and function has been the difference maker.

Business – I focus on what needs to be done here.  I need an overall career plan at this point and then I need to start executing it.

Self – I can’t tell you how many times the Discipline of the Routines and just my dogged determinism to not quit kept me going this week. I am glad I established these things because it is they that help me the most when depression hits.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 3)

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Concluding this week of Finding Peace and Rest we end with the Self Virtues.  The Foundational Virtues provide overall philosophy and the Business Virtues provide dealing with others.  Self Virtues are primarily about dealing with one’s own self and thus that is where they provided peace and rest. I feeling of personal calm and serenity is the goal here.  The image of the meditating warrior who is at peace with himself and thus at rest is what is evoked here.

Self Virtues provide Peace and Rest through habit and a positive mental state.  I could say that even when I am at work, I am at peace and I am at rest when these virtues are still in the front of my mind. Discipline provided peace and rest because it eliminates worry and confusion as it step by disciplined step helps me grow and come to terms with what I am trying to become. Perseverance will of course will not allow me to be defeated, which means I will win and find that peace and rest on the other side of victory. Fidelity provides rest in that I know I am loyal to those who have shown loyalty to me, and rest because I can find rest in knowing where I stand with each person.

With these in place a full picture comes to mind of a meditating warrior king on his throne, presiding over a prosperous kingdom at peace and at rest from war. This is not chance but living of all the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Discipline is what leads to habit and habits re-sculpt us into what we want to be. In my mind bad habits are simple discipline gone bad. Good habits are the result of discipline that is directed toward an image of what you want to be. Applying this to everything it can be applied to has been a wonderful challenge. The thing here is that I will continue to do so so that one day when I get the chance to help develop others again, I will have the insight to do so.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

If there is one virtue that comes so naturally it is like breathing, it is perseverance. I guess my family has a little to do with this as ancestrally we don’t quit. But the day personally this was really put to the test was the day I got up for my second football practice in High School.  That took a lot of perseverance and it is a character trait that has stuck with me ever since. Right now it is helpful as memories of past failures are constant but I keep going despite them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Who has been loyal to me?  They get my loyalty in return.  That circle is small and elite. This virtue has at least the simplicity of being easy to understand. Harder to execute sometimes.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is not hard here when you get a look at the big picture of Peace and Rest.  life always has the challenges to living and survival and the goal of peace and rest is difficult at times at best.  Mostly though it is the choosing of the right path where wisdom is most needed. It is these crossroads and forks in the road of life that peace of mind and rest of spirit puts you in the best frame of life to make good decisions.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The truth is weightlifting and walking are non-existent right now but I keep them on the list as a constant reminder of what is needed yet.  Cleaning and Writing go off without a hitch most weeks and the cheat meal count has worked well this week and it keeps me mindful of where I am at with that.  I am thinking that I can start to collect dumbbells for the purpose of weightlifting.  Walking is really not a problem when the weather is nicer.  I wish I had winter gear worth a damn but right now the cold and snow are extreme in Michigan, so no walking for me. Spring is a couple of months away.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

This is a challenge like I thought it would be.  I think the trigger for the routine needs to be supper time.  That is when so far it has worked the best when I go right from eating to the routine. There is a gap sometimes between reading and going to bed that way but at least it gets done.

Nutrition:

The big change this week is that I will be tightening up the diet starting Sunday to one cheat meal a week and one carb source a day. This won’t be normal, but it is the lead in for building up to being in the best shape I can be in for my birthday.  The month before that the goal is no carbs for a month. Intermittent fasting is now pretty much every day as I don’t eat the first eight hours after I wake up.  So far this is not hard.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – This weeks theme of peace and rest starts here.  Honor, Courage and Truth are what leads to both and I am learning how much that is true.

Business – I am starting to have a vision of what I want to be and things are moving forward. I seek the rest and peace of Self-reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality. I feel optimistic about this area of my life.

Self – I still struggle with personal peace at times.  Made harder by the fact this time last year a lot of shit started and I am struggling with the memories of it. Mostly it was a lot of wasted emotional investment and struggle.  That said, I feel I am on the right path on this.  Just have to walk through The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Evening Routine: Reading

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Part of my daily routine is study and working on school.  As I was putting together my Evening Routine last week, I put together the practical things I needed to do for such a routine but as I went through the week I realized there was something missing – Reading for enjoyment.  The need for this pressed on me as I realized that a lot of my routines are about getting things done a discipline.  But part of me needs to enjoy life a bit and adding a 15 minute reading session at the end of the day right before I nod off to sleep is needed.

If there is anything I have learned about Routines is that there needs to be a part of each one I look forward to doing. Reading is something I enjoy when I have the time.  I need to make the time instead and put it near the end. There is an element of this that is me escaping into another world.  I need this more than most people know.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Probably the only thing that concerns me these days regarding discipline is time.  Time is the same for every person and it requires discipline to make the most of it.  The issue is disciplining relaxation into things so it allows recovery. I need to look at this further, but reading in the evening routine is kind of like that.  I also like to game a little on my PC and perhaps that needs to be part of the daily routine for say an hour at the end of the day too.  A reward for a successful day.  Something I need to look at more so that I don’t get to the end of the day and ask – how has this helped me relax and be more at peace and have no good answer.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

The job search is becoming a matter of perseverance as I seem like I am getting no where but it always seems that way right up until the interview is scheduled and then I know I can do well. It is just a matter of going forward in what seem to be failure and defeat.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I hate when I am busy because it always makes family stuff and time with my wife seemed rushed. I don’t like that from a fidelity point of view as people in my life deserve my time.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance is a key issue in wisdom and this has caused me to look at everything in the context of cost and benefit.  I have often ask people who work a lot – “what good does that do you if you never have time to enjoy what you are building?”  It is a question I stop and ask myself from time to time. At the same time if you enjoy what you’re doing then work can be a time of relaxation form a spiritual point of view.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real issue is weightlifting and walking still. I don;t want to join a gym only to have job that does not allow me access to it anymore.  I need backup plan for both that does not require a gym.  A full dumbbell set might do the trick for one.  The other I just need to wait for spring as I don’t have the proper gear for walking in the snow.  So much hinges in improving income.  It needs to be my focus along with school. The cheat meal count has dropped to the level I want it to be all the time.  This is the test of whether this lifestyle can be maintained.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Reading for 15 minutes at the end of the day.  Somehow this suits me. It also might help me start working through this backlog of books I need to read. But first I got two new ones on Norse mythology. The rest of it is going surprisingly well.

Nutrition:

Nutrition is my main thing now regarding health and perhaps it is good that I don’t have the gym in some ways because it has forced me to focus on it.  The fasting is easier than expected and the carb counts are good and the cheat meals.  The thing is that in a couple more weeks the diet enters a very serious phase. I need to be ready for it

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I actually feel pretty good here.  I feel like my foundational virtues are good.  I need more courage at times but I also think that part of my personality is not to give a shit about offense at times. these are hard virtues to practice because they are so abstract, but I do feel like I have learned to crawl so time to learn to walk in them.

Business – I don’t struggle with the virtues as much here – just the results. Mostly I need to keep disciplined about school and keep the job hunt going while enjoying and getting the most out of my current job as much as possible.

Self – It is in the end about being a better me. It is all I really can control and even then there are some elements beyond my control.  Life is more like sailing in many ways.  You have to take the wind as it is and make the most of your abilities to still get where you want to go. Sometimes it is at your back and other times you have to tack back and forth.  Either way you keep your eyes on the prize and then find out what you need to do to get there.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!