Education

The Pagan Pulpit – Education Isn’t About Convincing People

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Walk” – Pantera Cover by Breaking Benjamin with Disturb’s David as Lead Vocalist:

Found this gem of a cover song while researching another song.  Love it.

Poem: “The Time You Spent” by Joanna Fuchs

Image result for poem about education the key to life

Just a little poem in honor of my graduation.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: “Hammer to Fall” – Queen – Live:

Text: Education isn’t About Convincing People – Eben Pagan:

You can’t convince anyone of anything. You can only give them the right information so that they can convince themselves.

Sermon:

A quote from someone named Pagan.

I wish I could say I have convinced people of something different from what they already believed. Belief is unfortunately a powerful force that keeps us from change at times. It is without a doubt easier to give information to people and then let them stew on it and let them learn based on what you have given them.

I don’t if at the heart of it all is education.  Whether formal or informal, we learn and we try to pass it on.  But people have to convince themselves or they will not really change.

I know for me the whole faith question was one of listening to the other side, but it was my own examination of my former education that I discovered holes and flaws.  I began to inform myself and study the critics of my faith and discovered that some criticism was legitimate. Painfully legitimate.

So, I found myself with a new conclusion, one I came up with myself. That we ultimately choose our religion and faith based on who we are, not on the truth.  We embrace the faith we want to because we want to embrace it. We simply learn and change ourselves because of what we learn.   Don’t expect others to be any different from you in this regard. Just give the information you know and then let them figure it out, or not themselves.

Closing Song: “Somebody to Love” – Queen:

Because it is Queen.

Parting Thought:

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Nope, you at times have to educate yourself.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Graduation Day

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day and Congrats Ferris State University’s Class of Fall 2018. 

I am taking not going to be posting the normal post today.  Don’t worry now that I have a break from my studies through the holidays, I will probably post a couple extra The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) and Rogue Wizard post next week to make up for it.  I want to actually kind of work on those two series in the coming weeks as a way to cool down from academia.  BS in Political Science (with minors in Economics and International Business) ‘finished’.

I graduate today.  Not that I am finished.  I have an internship and maybe another class to do.  But I have met the requirements to walk across the platform so I am going to do so.  I need a win for the end of the year.  I will be a full-time student next semester simply because of the need for financial aid to finish the above.

Starting tomorrow, I will be back to the blogging routine. I will also start making arrangements for my internship and seeing what classes I can take online to keep that full-time status but most of the pressure will be off from a degree completion pint of view.

This last semester was the hardest I had to do not because it was academically challenging.  Rather,  it was an emotional up hill battle from day one.  I was emotional exhausted after the summer and so I fought motivational issues all semester, including right to the end.  But, I finished and fell over the line doing it. We will see what pieces I still have to pick up next semester but today I will wear the black robe the cap and walk the platform.  Just another path of the walk of life for the Grey Wayfarer.

See you tomorrow,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues -A Prosperous Soul

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

Well at this point the only thing left is my exam for Inferential Stats which actually doesn’t involve much in the way of an exam.  I need to finish my three problems in presentation form to turn in today and have my Excel and Word work on a flash drive to look at.  There is a in class portion but it isn’t supposed to take long. In any case by 5:30 today Fall 2018 will be over for me. I am fairly sure this was my toughest semester not academically but personally.  It just was challenging on an emotional level all the time.

When I haven’t been working on home work, I have been trying to relax and spend as much time as I can with my wife. Part of this is dreaming about being a prosperous soul.  I have heard the verse in the bible about the love of money being the root of all evil.  Usually I have heard this in a sermon where the basic gist is – “your money is going to cause you to sin so give it to the church.”  Convenient that the clerics will take it off your hands for you.  I am not sure I love money so much as I love what it gives when I have it – a feeling of prosperity,  That feeling of being a prosperous soul that is satisfied and has no need or want.  It’s the lack of prosperity that leads to evil and struggle.  I want to end my struggle and find some prosperity that is satisfying.

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I don’t want money so much as the prosperity it brings and that feeling that lack has been satisfied and the other feeling I want is to be able to help others feel the same by sharing from that prosperity. I want to be a prosperous soul.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Independence is the issue of Self-Reliance. It is the centerpiece of prosperity too.  The goal is to have all the needs met.  Not just the basics of food, clothing and shelter but hat you need to function in the society you live. So for us Americans that usually involves transport and insurances of various kinds.  So far my wife and I have that covered just not at the best level. Hoping to change that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

With school drawing to a close, it has become time to look closer at what I am going to be, what my work identity will be. I do enjoy working and making money. There is something in that process that is satisfying to me in and of itself.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I finally got a sectional couch so the living room looks a little better. It also is  a step closer to perhaps having people over as guests. If you need to talk and want a coke and a smile, I still have a listening ear and Coke Zero in the fridge. Just make sure you call first, as my wife and I might be cuddling on the new couch.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

There is a part of me that will be glad when the school part is out of this and I can study what I want and read what I want.  There is a possibility of another semester of classes online but that is mostly a way to pay for my internship by remaining a full-time student. Keeps the student loan guys off my back for a little longer so I can get a decent job too.  The real thing is that I do have a few weeks where I can read something I want to read and can study something I want to study.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is going to be finished but not quite.  I will be walking the platform Saturday in the cap in gown.  It will be a moment of achievement, I just have that internship thing to finish and probably some more classes to pay for it.  The real work will be done and so that is that. # 3 will probably start the day after as I update my resume and look for jobs that this degree qualifies me for.  Time to start finding that new identity. # 6 – I am going to probably sign up at a new gym tomorrow after work and that is when I will be working out.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 continues. Xmas bonus, and taxes coming up soon.  Might help with that. New job with more money might help too. I am curious where we will be by the end of 2019.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Once More into the Breach

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

I know I am not a warrior in the physical military sense. I guess the closest I have come is playing football which required a certain physicality with violent action.  I can hit someone at full speed and they would feel it, fight off people trying to grab me and keep my balance.  I have an aversion implanted from four years of football drills to being on the ground. When I fall for any reason, my first instinct is to get back to my feet.  At six-foot five inches and a muscled 290 lbs. frame I don’t usually get a lot of people threatening me.  I have a lot of strength and power with good flexibility and I can walk quite a ways without stopping to rest.  While not ever having served in any military, I have a warrior mindset which I have applied to peace time activities. The old Japanese proverb applies:

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Thanks to my father, I know how to shoot straight.  I know how to engage in stillness when hunting and I have hunted enough that if it became a necessity for me I could pick it up and do it without too much adjustment.  I gave hunting not because I think it is immoral or just hated the activity.  I gave it up because it just isn’t a chief interest of mine and my father died and the only times I enjoyed hunting was when I did it with him.

I still would like some martial arts training  and I don’t think it is too late for that.  The whole viking thing has made me wonder what it would truly be like to fight with sword and shield wearing mail.  Not much good when it comes to a world of firearms but the physical exercise might be beneficial in other ways.  I may be getting older but that doesn’t mean I need to fade away.

Mostly I am a warrior against the forces of life. I take the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru to heart and apply them to my life where they fit. Right now it is once more into the breach (Henry the Fifth still being my favorite Shakespeare play – the movie version from 1989 staring Kenneth Branagh being my favorite) and I am nearing the end of Fall 2018 at Ferris.  If things are going well by the time this post drops, I will have finished my capstone paper and submitted it and with that my Health Economics class will be finished as well.  I will only have Inferential Stats and that involves putting together three statistical reports and submitting them on exam day tomorrow.  If I am making good progress I might be done today and Wednesday will be an actual rest day or preparation day for my capstone defense.

In any case, the warrior mind is to defeat each project by completing it.  The time for feasting is near.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – A Viking Soul

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I get asked once in a while if I have Viking ancestry and if that is why I like them so much.  Truth is I don’t know. Part of the mystery of being me is my father’s side of the family in that biologically, I might be. I do know that German blood flows in these veins and the whole Scandinavian – Germanic mythology was pretty much the same, except the names were changed and later the two mythologies merged. I want someday to do a genetics test and maybe hunt down some of dad’s ancestry.  I do hope there is some Scandinavian descent in there somewhere.

Were all human and I work very hard not to think my heritage makes me better or worse for that matter than everyone else. I reject racism of all types including the type done by liberals when they want white people to feel guilty for the past crimes of ancestors. I am only responsible for my own actions, not my father’s or any of my forefather’s

I do think I have a Viking Soul.  I resonate with the warrior philosophy of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV).  I think what they believed deals far better with reality than many mythologies.  It digs back down into my pagan roots and finds the hand axe wielding tribal warrior standing there.  Grim faced and ready for battle. The man who appreciates home and hearth when he can get it, but also longs to board the ship and set sail at least for a time to fight for something better for himself and his family. To prove his value to himself most of all and to others as a bonus.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think I am just weary at this point.  I am just tired of what I am doing this semester and want it to end to make way for what is next. From an honor standpoint I struggle less with my own sense of self-worth. I struggle more with value in what I am doing and where I am going. I am also starting to address the question of looking for honor in this world I can value.  I know it is there, I just need to find it.  I need some vision of the future and the world I want to live in and then go find it and make it happen.  That is what I mean when I say I need to be positive about my future.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Courage right now takes the form of being disciplined enough to get finished. I have basically a paper to do which counts toward two things and three short projects which constitute a final exam.  The first is due at the end of today and the second at exam time on Wednesday.  I already finished a take home final yesterday so that is done. Courage is facing the rest and getting them done.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

If there is one thing I have had to consider about being a scholar at this time of exams and my capstone paper; it is truth.  The decision recently was to make this paper as close to the truth as I can make it. Regardless of whether or not that will get me a good grade. I am being given the opportunity to speak with words and in a defense so I will take it with full truth and nothing but the truth.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I haven’t had a problem with the Morning Routine.  It’s the most solid part of my life right now. I am going to consider my meditation practices once the semester ends.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I am looking forward to looking at this list closer during the break. Yeah, I may have to go one semester of full-time online stuff to get financial aid for my internship so Christmas Break might be a good time to take a breath and look at this list again and rewrite and redefine it.

Weightlifting:

Still looking for a gym but the most likely candidate is the one near where I work.  I can just get off work and go there before I come home. I will probably use the time to develop a four-day split and if I end up at work five days a week for whatever reason then one will get a double.  I may have to use the new gym time for walking at least until the snow clears.  The rails to trails is just a short walk from my apartment so once spring comes I will be grateful to get out and hike again.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – New Identity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am writing this a couple of days early to clear my weekend schedule for both school and I promised that I would give you a double dose of fiction this Saturn’s Day.  I am not sure of the Pagan Pulpit on Sun’s Day. That will greatly depend on how things go this week and the early weekend.  My perception of this week is that it has been a busy one but what I want to talk about at this point is how my identity is changing into something else.

For about two decades I have been a pastor and Christian theologian.  None of that is true anymore, that identity for all practical purposes is a dead one.  I mean my Master’s Degree in Theology is still there as well as my Bachelor’s in Biblical Studies/Ministry, so I could pass myself still as a theologian, but not a believing one.  I suppose from a certain point of view that makes me a dangerous critic of Christian doctrine and theology because I can’t be accused of being ignorant of what Christians believe.  Not that I want to be such a critic; as in truth, I would rather start focusing my time on things that are more personally productive. I would rather focus on developing a new identity.

My problem is I feel very much like I am back in college making that decision for the first time.  There are differences as I know I am probably more experienced than I was thirty years ago, as well as ‘wiser’, whatever that means.  My issue is what am I now?  I know somethings that have not changed – I am still a husband, father and grandfather.  I am still a good friend.  I just don’t know what else I am right now.  Options:

Professor – This would mean a master’s degree in economics probably and then Ph. D work.  The issue I have with this one is continued financial aid and debt. I then would have a long-term career possible, if I made tenure so I could retire when I wanted to retire. I guess this one is on the top of the list because I have been told I am a good teacher and so that is the issue here in that it would fit me well and past experience in public speaking and teaching would not be wasted.

Business – This is an option because the pull of money is on me fairly strong as I need to make a bunch money in order to make sure retirement is even possible.  I could get an MBA at Ferris as the have a completely online one as well.  Corporate ladder or start my own business?  There are options here that are very flexible.  I know people from long experience, so that would be an asset as well.

Lawyer – Like it or not, my Political Science Degree is also preparation for a legal career. There are plenty of law schools in Michigan, so there is that.  I can’t put it off the list because with my own practice I can’t be fired either. I really do need a career path where I am in the driver seat as far as employment.

Writer – I have already had one career that starved me on occasion, so being a writer has purely emotional appeal, not a financial one.  It has risks. I would have to have another job until it could pay for things.  It also has the advantage of being non-ending.  I could do it in retirement for that matter.  Right up until they put me on my viking ship to burn as it sails out to sea. I am the Rabyd Skald after all.

I just don’t know which of these could be my identity or even a combination might be in order. I just don’t know. It has to fit me to be an identity and that is the challenge for me right now – finding what fits. The one thing I know does not fit anymore is ministry.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Once school is done I will have to do a reassessment of the areas in my life where discipline might be need.  Right now it is just obvious what needs discipline. The real problem right now for me is my old gym is closed and I need a new one and that means I will probably not be able to lift for a bit while I find a new one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Defeat and failure are something I try to avoid but my attitude about them is far more positive which is to say – once you have failed you can’t go back and fix it.  You can only move on by getting back up and moving forward.  I think this is something I may need to remember soon as I am struggling very much in one class and I don’t know how it is going to come out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I haven’t really thought about fidelity much this week as I have not had much time to be anything but loyal myself.  I guess the only struggle I still have is what to do if I ever cross paths again with certain people.  I simply do not know how I will react.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting this week but I am using the extra time for homework. Cleaning and walking were on target, so that was good.  I do need to find an alternative walk site starting next week.

Nutrition:

I need to define a couple of things.  A Cheat Meal for me is basically a period of time (a half hour to an hour) where I can eat pretty much any food and drink any beverage without counting it toward carb count for the day.  A Carb Count is a single serving of carbs outside a cheat meal and during the day,  Right now with five Cheat Meals and a Carb Count of five a day, I have a lot of room.  As the weeks  go by however this is not going to remain the case.  By the last month things will be very tight.  I need to remember those pictures are coming on my 50th birthday.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – All good here, I guess I am simply just putting my head down and trying to finish the year out as best I can. When 2018 hits the rear view mirror, I will probably let out a cheer.

Business – I am really looking forward to the job search and finding this new identity for myself.  My real issue is surviving it financially until then. Thankfully these virtues are not a problem for me for the most part so I keep doing what I need to do.

Self – Right now staying disciplined is tiring but I know it will be worth it.  Fidelity and Perseverance are now more central so I worry less about them right now anyway.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – New Adventure

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

I am deeply involved with my final paper which will be used both for health economics and for my political capstone.  I am writing this entry on Tuesday morning to clear my schedule for the week. I also have about ten other small projects for other classes so  I am pressed for time so I am going to make this as short as possible,  Of course, I am reminded as a preacher that when I said I was going to keep this short, that meant nothing at all.

If there is anything I am trying to tap into right now it’s my spirit of adventure.  I want to look to the future with the eyes of the viking boarding his ship and planning to go out there and find new shores to explore and conquer.  I really am looking at 2019 as a fresh start into something new. Something I can get excited about as I look at it.

It is this spirit of adventure and about to engage on a new adventure that allows me to look at things now as preparation for it.  It allows me to see things with a light of optimism and hope.  Something I haven’t had in a while.  I am sure The Grey will return, but I hope there will be a light within that allows me to see the water in front of me.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Right now everything is focused on getting my last paper done and studying for the final exams. I will be finished with everything Next Wednesday so as of this post there will be only a week left.  Time to focus,  the tie to celebrate is drawing closer.  ultimately this is about being more self-reliant in all things. For that I need an education that I can market in the real world.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Work is work for me right now.  I do enjoy taking a situation (in retail your don’t really produce anything, you have a situation) and then improving it.  To know when I walk about the company is in a better position to make some money because of my actions is a pretty good feeling.  I also enjoy work for its sake and I always want something to do rather than stand around.  That said I do enjoy walking out and going home and pretty much work ends and I don’t take it home with me.  You have no idea how good a feeling that is until you have been a pastor and then that constant responsibility falls off your shoulders.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Still working on this.  I guess I try to make myself ready to help whenever I can or see the need.  I am not very much into charity which I just give money to it.  Mostly, I don’t have money to give anyway so helping with action is a far more beneficial thing to me.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Mostly solid.  looking back last week.  There was a couple of times financial transactions didn’t get entered that day.  But for the most part is was solid.  Next week the study, homework and reading will shift to what I want to do, not what I have to do and that will be great.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

I should make note that # 2 will be replaced after I graduate on December 15th.  That said, I won’t get my diploma until May or June because of the need to finish my internship.  As I mentioned yesterday, to pay for that may require me to stay a full-time student for one semester which means more classes.  Those class have to have a couple of qualities. 1) They need to be online so I don’t have it drive to campus. 2) If they could be something that pads my resume, so much the better. I still plan on looking for a better job by the end of January.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Yeah, still stage 1.  The real key to going forward here is a new job or a second one.  I would rather have the first, but I have no problem doing the second until if find the first.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – No, I Don’t Want a Man Cave – I Want a Study

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

This is another week where doing a proper Of Wolves and Ravens is going to be too difficult so you get a Rabyd Skald instead. Mostly I just want to touch base a little about things without a real format or order and I want to talk about one thing I definitely want as far as where I live someday.

I would say The Grey and I have our moments.  I just have the defense of having school work to do to combat it.  I keep busy and that is the main thing.  I have a couple of days off from work but they will be filled with writing a paper. I don’t know if it will be my last one, but I suspect it might be the best one I have done for school.

School may be an issue as far as financing.  I don’t think my internship is going to be a paid one although I think I can do it online so I won’t have to travel to campus.  The issue becomes financial aid will not cover something part-time like that as it is only four credits.  I would have to basically attend full-time for another semester in order to pay for the internship.  Full time requires at least 12 credits so I would have to pick up about three classes.  I would need them all to be online and probably 100 or 200 level so I can finish with some extra skills.

My wife and I finished our last counseling session with our counselor as he is heading to Guam.  We are kind of discussing whether or not we need further counseling as a couple. The last session was a good one and the counselor thinks we have made progress and that we could go forward without it being a necessity.  I still would like some counseling for me but I don’t know if we can afford it right now. Maybe if I get a better job with some decent insurance I can consider it.

One thing my future vision of my life must contain is a study.  I don’t want a man cave although my study might have man cave elements like a wet bar and maybe a classic pin-up on the wall.  For me this is more about having a place for intellectual and creative pursuit with a masculine feel to it. I need a place like that to retreat to when the world gets too much. A place to read, study, write, relax and meditate.

Well, need to get to work on school stuff so I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Future Uncertainty

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Saturn’s Day

Just by way of announcement, there will be no Rogue Wizard or The Grey Wayfarer this week.  I just don’t have the time to do it right, so it will wait for next week and I will double dip with one of both to make it up to you.  Right now I am dealing with school, work and a lot of uncertainty about the future.  I do take a lot of comfort in the fact that in such moments my creativity is off the charts. I hope it is a trend that continues. Just a few quick notes:

  1. Academically I have been working toward the goal of being completely finished with all course work this semester, so I can just do my internship while looking for a better job.  Unfortunately, I think it is very possible that I might come up short by one class because my bugaboo of GIS is probably going to get me. For me it is like learning a foreign language I can’t seem to grasp on top of a psychological trigger of past failure with the subject.  I don’t know if this means I won’t be able to walk but in any case, it might be more than an internship I need to do next semester.  I guess we will see because everything else I will probably do well in.  If I do have  to take courses next semester they will have to be all online so I can job search and keep our household costs down.
  2. It’s official that my gym will be closing and probably sooner than I wished with everything else going on.  I may have to just take a week off from the gym, focus on academics and then look for a new one during finals week.
  3. My other uncertainty is my own confidence level waxes and wains a lot. Some moments I feel like I can take on the world and others I feel pretty helpless to the situation. I get angry still at certain things that happened and my heart still seeps soul-blood from time to time from past hurts and my own guilt. I probably need some professional counsel on this but I don’t have the money for it.  One person who knows me via internet offered but I feel I need the personal touch on this one. If only I had the time or money right now.

I had someone ask me for prayer yesterday.  I haven’t felt praying has done a lot of good for me or anyone else when I pray for them.  I just am not sure how valuable my prayers are seeing that I have very little faith in a god who might be out there or not and quite frankly if he/she/they are what their response to me might be to me specifically seeing I have massive doubts.  Christianity was my philosophical underpinning and foundation for a long time.  I really am trying  build a new one because that one has too many cracks in it for me now.  I know too much to believe it anymore. The process of building a foundational philosophy is a long one however and this means a time of uncertainty.  Out of that I hope will come something better – something more true.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Paleo Nutritional Planning Winter 2018-19

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

One of my goals is to be in the best shape possible by my Birthday so I can take some progress pictures.  That would be March 18th, 2019.  I will be 50.  There is something about these birthdays where the first number and last number both change.  I mean ten was probably where I first became aware of abstract thought and started to find girls far more interesting.  Twenty I went from being single to married and started my first round of college.  Thirty was a year where I became ordained as a minster and became pastor of my first church.  Forty was the year I started my last church.  Now I approach fifty and it truly is a milestone.

I will be finished with school and very close to the end of my internship.  I will be hopefully starting a new career with a new job.  2019 is truly going to not just be a new chapter in my life but in truth a whole new part to the story. I want part of that to be able to stand naked in front of the mirror on March 18th, 2019 and say: ‘Damn Ed, you look really good for fifty.”

The biggest part of that happening is going to involve nutrition.  I lift weights and walk/hike and that is important, but it is nutrition that not only gets results but allows you to keep them.  It is about lifestyle choice that leads to a better life, not just a better body.

Philosophically, I know that plans that involve meal planning, counting calories and points do not work for me.  I have said it before I do the best when I can control what I eat and when I eat it.  What has worked so far is a combination of Paleo and Intermittent Fasting.  The issue right now is to train myself to make that even more discipline and tighter as I get closer to my birthday.  After that finding a basic patterns that works and keeps working will be the goal. The details of this plan will be below in nutrition section but my basic idea is to slowly drop the number of carbs sources I can eat a day and the number of cheat meals a week. The four weeks leading up to my birthday both of these will be very low; if they exist at all.

Couple this with intermittent fasting and you get a powerful combo that so far has dropped my weight probably fifty pounds since May.  I don’t really go by weight though as my basic test of how I feel and look to me is the naked in front of the mirror test.  If I can look in the mirror and feel proud of what I have accomplished and my wife is giving me bedroom eyes, then I will have considered it a breakthrough.  Then it will be about maintaining it into the future.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Nutrition is simply one of those areas I am trying to apply more discipline.  To be harder on myself, so greater things can be achieved.  My homework and study time right now is tight with this as well, but I take comfort in the fact there is less than three weeks to go and the last half of December is pretty much going to be chill time.  I will still be working in retail, so it won’t be completely relaxing until after January 1st.  I just won’t have three major things to work on, just two. I will probably use the extra time to start disciplining myself toward attaining some other things on my list of goals and the bucket list.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Shit.  I look back at 2018 and marvel how many times I was knocked down and got up.  I am not talking simple knockdowns either but full on flat on your ass knockdowns where you slide from the force of the blow for twenty feet.  Where you lay there gasping for breath wondering if you are going to live knockdowns.  I got up from all of them and I still am shaking my head about it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I think the biggest realization I have had this week is how much I now distrust people when they say they are my friend or want to be my friend.  I can tell I am still skeptical of this. Only people who proved my friend during this year do I seem to trust without question, and even then I wonder very slightly from time to time.

I really do need a new small local circle from a social point of view, but like I told the counselor on Tuesday, I probably will have to look at my new career to find those people. My hope for starting a new support group of some kind might be an avenue as well.  The one thing I don’t trust is old wells that have no water – the church or friends who disappeared when things got tough.

At the same time, I kind of marvel at my wife’s forgiveness and loyalty to me.  She has no reason to be. None.  I guess she loves me.  I probably should follow her example and give some people a second chance.  Some, but not all that’s for damn sure. Being led astray by others about me is one thing.  Being a person who straight up abused my trust and betrayed me is another.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

This week has been more about school than anything else.  What this has done is limited trips to the gym and school oddly as class has not been something I need to attend on a couple of occasions. Walking and lifting will not reach their goals this week as I am hitting the books instead.

The gym situation is coming to a head as I will no longer need to travel to the city where my gym currently is as often.  Plus, it looks very much like my gym will close soon.  That means changing gyms closer to where I work now. Once that happens, training will take on more importance.

Nutrition:

Paleo Diet means I avoid carb sources of foods like the plague.  I have pretty much eliminated pasta.  What I need to do is slowly wean myself off them pretty much altogether.  Part of this is re-educating myself on what I can eat and eating more of it.

The intermittent fasting basically will go like this.  I eat breakfast then fast until eight hours later, then I can eat until I go to bed. At first this will be weeks that start with an even-numbered Sundays.  Four weeks out from March 18th, 2019 it will be all the time.

The two things that will be added are a weekly check list of cheat meals where when I have one I check one cheat meal off and when I have used them all for the week, I can’t do any more.  The other thing I will add is a daily carb food source check list.  I want to basically start shrinking both down every week or two.  The goal the last month is to have no carbs at all daily and one cheat meal per week.

December 2nd – December 22nd: Weekly Cheat Meals: 5  Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 5

December 23rd – January 5th: Cheat Meals: 4; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 4

January 6th – January 19th: Cheat Meals: 3; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 3

January 20th – February 2nd: Cheat Meals: 2; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 2

February 3rd – February 16th: Cheat Meals: 1; Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 1

February 17th – March 18th – Cheat Meals: 0 (special occasions only), Daily Non-Paleo Foods: 0 – I will actually extend this out for the rest of the week but the goal is my birthday which is a Monday.

Of course extra cheat meals are allowed for special occasions:  Birthdays and holidays.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – I don’t feel to bad in this area.  I did come to the conclusion this week that I will feel a great deal better as far as Courage, Honor and Truth once my degree is finished.  Still work to do, but I feel much better.

Business – Things are coming to a head, graduation, internship and new job search,  I have a feeling my hard work is going to start paying off. Prosperity with purpose is getting closer.

Self – I feel the best about this area. Have for a long time.  This week particularly.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!