Christianity

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The State of My Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

The last two weeks have been a lot of wrestling with myself.  This week journal entries will be dealing with the state of different parts of me as I see them and what I can do to improve them.  I will talk in this one of the state of my heart. My Wednesday entry I will talk about the state of my Mind and on Friday the state of my Body.

My view of heart is more than just the state of emotions; it’s also the state of my soul.  The thing is I view this as my core being and that which gives me personal value, motivation and a sense of myself.  It resonates with my foundational virtues the most.  A good heart, is honorable, courageous and rejoices in the truth.

It is also the most fragile part of me as an introverted empathic romantic sap.  I don’t give my friendship or love easily; truth be told, so when someone rejects my love or abuses my friendship, I get devastated. I fully acknowledge the fact that one of the persons who hasn’t treated my heart that well is myself.

See the source image

I would say the state of my heart is wounded, bruised and sometimes bleeding.  It is also held together by stitches, staples and even a rope wrapped around it. I am surprised it survived the summer.  To be honest, I teetered on the edge there for a bit of becoming a heartless bastard.  I got hurt a lot, some of it self-inflicted.  True, I kind of did some hurting there in the beginning myself, but it’s the hurts I received from people who, when I was down, decided to hit me again that really bothered me.

I don’t speak of this much anymore but I also did get my heart broken by someone I loved very deeply this summer. (I don’t speak of this often because its something that is hurtful to my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt and I still deal with that hurt.  I have to thus deal with it myself.)  There is a deep gash in my heart because of it. I also realized how deeply I hurt someone else; who I have renewed my love for, but that also has been a painful guilt ridden process. Self inflicted wounds there.  I am trying not to become heartless through all this, but I have truly become suspicious of anyone who calls me their friend or says they love me unless they have demonstrated both at a high level first.  Emotionally, I watch my six a lot more because I can’t afford right now to take any more hits. I still try to be true to my better nature. A friend/relative posted this a couple of days ago.  It really spoke to me.

Image may contain: text

The one person right now who has proven her love for me is my wife. If there is any demonstration of genuine Christian forgiveness and mercy I can look at right now; it is her.  She is also been my chief source of healing. I long to cuddle with her, make love to her and talk about things with her.  It’s a good feeling and my heart seems to be mending because of it. If I can get closure in a few more things, I might make some real healing progress. I do want to get a wounded heart tattoo at some point as it is part of my journey.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor is still a real struggle for me. I feel the real struggle of my natures at times.  Oh, for me this is no longer about sin and righteousness.  For me the issue is more about the Wolves and Ravens.  Making sure the wolves of Need and Want listen to the ravens of Reason and Wisdom. Honor is returning but it is a slow and painful process.

Thing is school will be ending soon and with that graduation.  I even have a lead on an internship to finish things off this Spring. I am really hoping that fully closing this latest chapter in my life and looking forward to the future will restore some honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I am coming up to a time when courage might be called for.  Graduation now looms and looking for a new career starts probably this next week.  I need to be decisive and courageous in this.  The time is getting closer to act.

I want whatever career path I choose to be right.  It needs to fit me.  When I see it, I want to grasp it with both hands.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I miss the old Microphone.  I was absolutely honest with the way I saw things and the truth was more important to me than anything.  Now, I can’t recommend this in the end though, as it can be painful to face the truth about one’s self and situations.  It is often better not to say anything, if one cannot be honest.

This blog takes a different tack.  It is honest when it speaks but when it is silent, that’s when you know I am taking the route of being silent is better when you can’t be honest.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I would say this is becoming more automatic and it is become habit.  To really make sure of that, I need to keep doing it for several more months. The real thing though is the peace of mind and focus this gives me early in the day.  It keeps me focused on why I live quite frankly.  I do feel a sense of purpose again and it is in large part due to the morning routine, in particular the meditation on the NNV and reviewing my goals and principles.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I did a Rabyd Skald post recently about tattooing my closure.  I suppose when people look at the bucket list they might see get my tattoos, they wonder what specifically I am talking about.  Here is my list:

  1. Valknut Tattoo with wolves, ravens and a rune circle.  Right forearm.
  2. Broken Celtic Cross – Center Back right under my neck
  3. Two Wolves – Left shoulder “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves…” in writing under them.
  4. Two Ravens – Right shoulder – “but Listen to the Ravens First”
  5. Wounded Heart Tattoo – Left Pectoral

#1 is about my new philosophy of life where I can always see it and remind myself of it.  #2 – Old Faith – Still I must admit it has an effect on my thinking but I don’t have faith so it is broken.  #3-4 – My philosophical statement clearly stated.  #5 – Given this post, I think this one is self-explanatory.

Weightlifting:

If there is any concern right now it is that my current gym might close.  It’s having a hard time now that Planet Fitness is in town.  The owner is pretty distraught with a lot of personal issues as well.  I hate this because this was my gym – my home gym.  I love the place and always have. I hope they find a way to keep going.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 77 – Thoughts on Mortality

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Probably and additional announcement is that the Pagan pulpit will be more and more taking on a more personal touch – mine.  I really am kind of combining a lot of things here from an old blog that I liked.  It will be my musings on things from music to poems and other things.  My thoughts will be front and center and they are about my weekly journey.  If by sharing these things with you, you are helped a little in your own journey than that is bonus and a joy to me.

Opening Song: Metallica – Creeping Death (Live Seattle 1989)

One of my favorite Metallica songs.  The final plague on the Egyptians turned into a metal song.  Awesome.

Poem:

“Awaiting the Valkyrie”

The war of life will someday claim my  soul.

May I live a life worthy of song.

Broken and wounded I may be,

But my heart longs to see the Valkyrie

To take me to a place of the honored dead.

Whose stories forever ring throughout the ages

The soul at last at peace

Celebrated and immortal.

– Ed Raby, Sr.  – October 30, 2018

This poem probably speaks to the occasional long that we all have for things to be over.  When my end comes, I would like to be remembered well.

Meditation:

People ask me all the time why I like stories.  Well because all stories resonate with my own.  It’s what makes our existence common; that we all are a story.

Song of Preparation:

This isn’t my favorite Three Door’s Song, but it definitely hits the heart of all of us in what we want and how we feel about those closest to us that have passed into the unknown.

Text: Havamal 77

“Your cattle shall die; your kindred shall die; you yourself shall
die; one thing I know which never dies: the judgment on each one dead.”

Sermon:

Coming off Halloween there is always that element where one thinks about death.  I mean we have skulls and bones everywhere.  The undead walk from zombies to vampires to mummies.  Our popular mythology is laced with characters that overcome and cheat death. In religion, the afterlife is a common thread.

When I was a Christian, the view I often had been that heaven or some afterlife was necessary to give life meaning and purpose.  Perhaps this is one truth that many religions hit on, as death seems to take away everything.  Ecclesiastes is a great book for pointing this out but the conclusion is a bit of logical leap as the only meaning to life it gives is to fear God and do what he tells you.  I don’t think that works for me anymore or for perhaps a lot of you.

The painful truth is that death might genuinely be the end of it all for each of us or that the afterlife is nothing like we expect. That’s the problem, it really is an unknown.

So how to find purpose and meaning to life with the reality of death ever before you?  There have been many theories and perhaps this is why we are incurably religious as a species.  We don’t like the thought that we will end.  We want to continue and so we hope that something is on the other side of death.  But in the end I think Marcus Aurelius hit it on the head. We should live a good life.  If God, the gods or whatever are just, they will look at the virtues you have lived by not how devoted you were.  If they are not just, then we should not want to serve them anyway.  If there isn’t any gods or afterlife; then well, we have the memories in the hearts of those we loved as our final thoughts.

Image result for marcus aurelius quoteOf course you are left to yourself as to which virtues make up your good life. For me the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru form a good solid list and one that, regardless of who I meet and what religion they may or may not have, can be respected.  The Havamal reminds us that the one thing that does not die is the judgement of the dead. The best way then to face death is to live life and live it fully.

Parting Song: Zergananda – The Path to Valhalla

Epic and one view of many.  I personally think any view of the afterlife that involves courageously facing ones death is a good one.

Have a Great Week

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye -Objections to Christianity – Part 1 – The Bible’s Inspiration by God

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

I want to state up front, this is a long post. I want to be complete as possible in stating this objection and the ones in the months to follow.  Mostly as I will state later that I for a long time wanted answers; I still do.  It was hard leaving my faith because I wanted so desperately to believe. Reason for me eventually prevailed and I will stand by that decision.   The reason I am putting a lot of words into this is that I still would accept answers: if they could be proven rationally that Christianity is the true religion.

I have written on my crisis of faith a couple of times. Despite some people’s assertion that this is recent phenomena due to personal events, it actually started about two years ago with my second objection. I will talk about that in a couple of weeks, but it is basically I think ‘sin’ is a man-made up concept.  It started when I preached a message about sin and I had heard a quote that week from a critic of Christianity that basically said sin was made up and that because of it Christianity solves a problem of its own making.

I will get into this moment in more detail in a couple of weeks but it got me rethinking every thing in the light of skepticism and I began to form four theological objections for which I still have no satisfactory answers. While the sin question got my original thinking going, it is this first question involving the Bible and divine inspiration that forms the foundation of the other three.

Now, I want to state for the record that I am no amateur when it comes to the Bible or Theology.  1) I have degrees in both Biblical Studies (BA) and Theological Studies (MA).  2) I am a professional theologian and have been since 1996.  3) I was a Christian from the time I was eight and as I approach my 50th birthday that would have been close it forty-two years. 4) I was a pastor (now retired) for twenty years and have spent many years since school studying the Bible and engaging theological questions.  5) I have had several crisis moments in my theology and up until two to three years ago I could answer them all or found ways to explain them.  Not anymore.

I will also say I am not hostile to Christianity, I get it.  It took me a long time to face the facts of the objections I will present in this series. I still am open to anything that answers them.  My largest problem when I discuss this is people sometimes get offended because I seem to be very aggressive, but I am not really doing that, just being as honest as I can.  People don’t always like it when you ask questions that are hard about what they believe. Cognitive dissonance is a real thing, so I get.  Understand I am not being hostile to your faith if you have it.  I am just being hostile to mine or what mine used to be. That’s because I take as a central core idea that if the God of the Bible is the real god and the Bible is inspired by him, then it should make sense and have rational proof this is so.

Faith:

Bottom Line, faith is trusting in something that you have no evidence for and that is the problem.  You hope it is true and you believe it is true, but you don’t know it is true. This is particularly true for many church doctrines and one of the most notable is the divine inspiration of scripture.  The reason I can say this is no matter what school of thought you follow in looking at inspiration, there is no evidence that God came down and inspired the Bible.  You simply have to believe the simple statement “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God.”  There is no attempt to prove this, just a statement of fact that the reader must simply accept.

An example is probably in order: “The Rabyd Skald’s writings are inspired by the God Odin.  Everything he writes comes straight from the mouth of the god Odin.”  You say ridiculous.  I ask why?  You say because I simply have made an assertion and have offered no proof that what I say is true. I want to tell you the Bible does the exact same thing with the exact same level of proof that God came down and directly inspired the writers of the Bible – none. It’s pure faith, no evidence even from the Bible itself.  The Bible writers simply assert this; they never prove it.

Religion:

Looking at the doctrine of inspiration historically, once again we have no proof of the inspiration of Scripture by God, just the creation of the doctrine of inspiration and various councils of men deciding which books are inspired.  There is no record of God coming down and saying – “these books are my inspired word.” Just groups of men doing that.  That is what you actually see.

It stands to reason that religions do this.  In the end, you need a common core of beliefs and authority and it is far easier to make a group of writings do that because it has a greater chance of standing the test of time.  Especially if you inject a tradition of copying and transcribing these books from one generation to the next. Even in this though, two problems develop. 1) People abuse the authority of said books and can twist their meaning and 2) the transcription of said books can be flawed.

The second brings up an additional inspiration question which is: ‘Is the Bible still inspired even though people have put mistakes into it and changed it from one language to the next where meaning is going to get changed?  The human factors are definitely present in the Bible.  Does that undermine inspiration or simply point to the fact that the Bible is a wholly human book and because we don’t really have proof God is involved, are we just making up the whole divine inspiration thing in order make this human book have more significance?

Theology:

I spent a great deal of time and digital ink pouring over this question of inspiration.  On my blog All Things Rabyd (which is still there although no longer active)  I spent nine posts looking at the various theories of divine inspiration.  You can find the link to all of them here. I eventually settled on Dynamic Inspiration as the best possible explanation to handle the human element being in the bible.  That much like the doctrines of Christ state Jesus was 100% God and 100% Man, so was the bible the same way.  It satisfied me for a while but there was a fatal flaw in the whole thing.

The flaw? I still had no proof positive that the 100% divine inspiration part was real.  There is no photograph of God reaching into the head of Paul or Moses inspiring them to write things.  I mean you could say God is the inspiration for the Bible like a person might be inspired to write about nature from being outside. There is however no proof that God took an active hand in telling the authors what to write or how to write it.  That is purely a matter of whether you believe that or not.  It really is blind faith on that particular question.

Spirituality:

I will probably handle other objections involving scripture at a later date.  My purpose today is to get the main parts of my first objection to Christianity out there.  The question always comes – do I still read the Bible and what value do I place on it?  Well, yes I do.  I value it in that it contains a lot of ‘truth’ small t.  I just don’t think it’s the Truth.  Rather a lot of men wrote about their sincere belief in God.  God inspired them in that way and they wrote but in the end, it was human inspiration ABOUT the divine.  It was not God coming down and whispering in their ear what to write, no matter what their claims.

For me, I still draw a lot of inspiration from the Bible.  Some of its stories are great.  It has men wrestling with the question about God.  The teachings of Christ are some of the best on human relationships you will ever see.  That said, it is only one avenue of being inspired, not the only one and it is a very human book.  In short, it has its flaws, and I think some of the morality it promotes could be questioned as to whether it actually does good or not.

Conclusion:

When the doctrine of inspiration goes, then you can look at the bible objectively.  This caused me to really realize the god of the Bible has a few problems.  1) Sin seems to be made up as a concept and used to control the behavior of people 2) The plan of salvation God comes up with does not speak well of supreme being because it makes God both sadistic and masochistic. 3) God’s justice seems a little suspect especially when you consider final judgment.

Every other week I will be writing on one of these. In between, I will be writing on my state of faith currently and what I am pursuing to kind of balance out things.  Because like it or not, losing your faith and going through the reasons for it is depressing.  Need counterbalance that with a little more positive.  Next Week I will talk about why I am a deist.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – The Foundational Virtues – Closure

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have spent the greater part of October planning and organizing the plan for my life post-pastor and post-Christianity. Now it is time to act.  This last week has been a little rough for me, as I have spent way too much time thinking on the past and trying to shake it. The real thing I think I am facing is the fact that with a lot of parts of the past, I lack closure.  Things ‘ended’ with several things in my life with what I would consider bad endings. If they had been written out as part of one of my stories, I would have definitely considered a rewrite to at least provide some sense of ending for the reader.  The way things actually went down, there is no sense of that.  At least from my side there isn’t.

It’s why things don’t sit well with me on several past issues and this is something that is affecting me and my wife, so I will probably talk about it at our next counseling session. I can’t go into all the details, but I think I need a way to find some closure on some things and I just don’t know how yet.  That’s part of my next task personally.

As it is, I need to fight the anger, sadness and The Grey that comes with this struggle, so the time to Journal and Act on all the planning I have done this last month is now.  I need to stay busy and thus keep walking this journey I call my life.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The real question for me is honor.  In some of these past cases, I feel people got the better of me by taking advantage of my vulnerability.  In some cases, it is myself that needs to apologize for my actions. In some cases, it is simply that the way I parted with someone just wasn’t right.  There are many things left unsaid and undone.

It’s hard to be positive about my future when the past reminds me of my failures.  It needs to be dealt with properly and in some cases, it might not be possible. I need to calm myself through meditation at these times and refocus on the future.  It’s just something I need to get better at doing.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Three things are required for courage to take place.  1) To know what the right thing is. 2) To know what to do about it and 3) To know when to do it.  It’s this three-fold thing that keeps me engaged in evaluation of every action that requires courage.

If there is a closure regret that I can relay specifically, it’s that I truly wish I could go back in time and handle my church resignation myself.  What I should have done is taken a Sunday off to think about it and then resigned in person the next Sunday after that.  Perhaps then things would have been different, but who knows.  For future reference some notes to self: 1) If there is something hard to do, do it yourself and 2) Don’t trust others to do things for you that directly affect you – they will either fuck it up or fuck you over, so do it yourself.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Being honest with myself is more the struggle these days.  It is easy to blame others and I am not saying others are not to blame at times, but you can only control what you do, so knowing the truth is helpful in that regard.  If others do indeed fuck you over, then fine, but make sure you learn what you could have done better first before seeking justice.

I pursue any knowledge I think will benefit me in the future.  These days this pursuit is done with a lot of practicality in mind.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

This has been going really well so far, but I had to make one change in the order which was to put my meditation after my full body stretch.  This is more of a practical thing as I end my stretching on the floor and so it’s a simple matter to go lotus position at that point and just meditate for a couple of minutes on the Virtue for the day.  Other than that I think the whole thing is a good order and working well for me.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I think the one thing on this list that is the most possible is getting my first tattoo once I have the money. I mean I could do the Smoke a Joint thing but I am trying to keep clean for job search purposes.  Once school is over I think the novel and Learning Latin might be next.  The weightlifting goals will come when they come.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifting’s great challenge right now is picking which days to do it.  My schedule at work is different days every week. So the thing is that I need to make four trips to the gym a week.  This means sometimes its weekend days as well.  This is simply necessary because trying to lift after a long day of work and school and then late gym session can be too much.  I found out Sunday morning is pretty empty at the gym.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 3 – Awakening (Wayfarer)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

The man in the bed stirred.  It was the first time he had moved on his own power since the whole thing began.  His eyes fluttered open but he immediately shut them again.  Things were too bright.  Gods his head hurt.  No telling where he was now.  He was either in his intended destination, the hospital or the morgue. If the last was true, he was waking up to what lies beyond the veil of death and that brightness was the afterlife.

Somehow though he suspected that it was not the afterlife or the hospital.  You don’t hear the sounds of lovers making love in a hospital that often and he could smell smoke of a fire. No, unless something truly unplanned had happened, he had arrived in his intended destination.  He just couldn’t move or speak or see it in truth yet.  He opened his eyes once again and the blur came into focus.

He was in a room with a bed and a wash basin on a small wooden stand.  There were  towels draped over the stand as well and the fabric was exquisite.  Not made by a machine but much better in many respects.  He tried to move his arm and succeeded only to lift it a little. Then he looked a little to the edge of the bed only to see the face of a huge white wolf staring back at him. Their eyes met and strangely he didn’t feel afraid of the wolf.  The wolf looked at him for a few moments and then walked out of the room past the curtain that separated it from the main room.

A few moments later a large man entered the room. He was muscular but looked older with hair that was white.  He only had one eye and the other was covered with a patch. He was wearing a simple grey tunic and on his shoulder was perched a large raven.

“Well, you live after all.  I will wake up my wife and she will tend you,” the man said in a commanding deep voice.

Then he disappeared.  The man stirred a little more and after a couple of minutes a woman in a white dress came in. She was blond, blue-eyed and stunningly beautiful.  She smiled at him but he could see a knowing sadness behind her eyes. He wondered about that, but she came along and sat beside him and touched his forehead and chest.

He couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.  Her proportions were perfect and her skin flawless.  He eyes were stunning like they looked right into your heart and her golden hair radiant beyond belief.  No super model, with the most skillful of Photoshop work done, could look like she did.  It was then he realized his nakedness under the blankets and began to feel a little self-conscious.  She smiled again.

“Be at peace, you are safe here,” her voice was like soft music.

She leaned a little closer like she didn’t want to be overheard.

“Besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

He blushed slightly and found his hand absent mindedly going to the Thor amulet around his neck.  It was still there.  He wondered at it now as the story that had been told him had been true.  It was magical.  It had drawn him to this place, wherever that was.  He began to relax a little more.  It was hard not to do so in this woman’s presence.

“You know you have been under my care for a day and I still don’t know who you are?  Can you speak?”

The Man looked at her and smiled.

“My name is Beorn Erickson. I guess you could say I am a scholar of sorts”

“Well Beorn, I am Frigg, goddess of motherhood and home. Welcome to our home.”

Beorn didn’t show any reaction to the statement that she was a goddess.  He actually  relaxed even more. The amulet had worked and now he could move on to other things.  He decided to choose his words carefully.

“So the mythology isn’t mythological after all.  So the man I saw; he is Odin, the All-Father?  Your husband?”

Frigg raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, he is Odin.  All Father and King of the gods of Asgard. It is not often that mortals hear of the gods and react as you do.  How is this possible?”

“You could say I have been looking for you.  Mostly though I wanted to prove this amulet worked.  The magic in it is unique and very powerful.  Besides if legend is correct, the gods and goddesses of Asgard prefer actions of worship, not the groveling prayers of other religions.”

“A wizard, not just a scholar then? My husband might be very interested in that.  He is a wizard himself and a warrior.”

“Yes, some of the legends and stories remain.  Many are lost though.  I guess you could say this was a research trip in that regard.”

“A seeker after knowledge.  Yes, My husband will respect that.  The issue he will have is whether or not you are willing to pay the price for knowledge that is sometimes needed.”

“Yes, those stories remain.  His hanging from the world tree and his sacrifice of his eye.  They also speak of your powers to see men’s fates.”

Frigg’s smile faded; but it was not anger that replaced it, but a sadness.

“Yes, I can, but it is not very helpful.  There is little that can be done to change the fates of men.”

Beorn decided not to press this.  He knew she was speaking of her son Balder and he didn’t want to bring up painful memories.

“Well, I suppose that would be a heavy burden to bear. I didn’t mean to cause you sadness.”

“No, it alright.  It was a long time ago that I lost Balder…that Asgard lost Balder.  You seem strangely emphatic for a wizard and scholar.”

“I wasn’t always a wizard and a scholar.  I once was a priest. A Christian priest.”

“That explains your gentleness.  You gave that up?  I wonder what reason you could have for that?”

“I am not very good with celibacy for one.”

Frigg laughed and Beorn with her.

“I can also say that celibacy would not allow you to share one of your better assets with the world either.  You shouldn’t deprive women like that.”

They laughed again.  Beorn felt so at ease in her presence.

“I imagine though that there are other deeper reasons.”

“It was the beliefs.  The god of the cross doesn’t make sense to me anymore.  So I went looking for others.”

“Well, it seems you found a couple.”

“Yes, I have. The amulet worked and drew me to you.”

Frigg paused.  The two looked at each other for a moment.

“Well Beorn, I can’t see that you are ill or in any way sick.  Just drained of energy.  I will make some food to help with that, and bring you something to drink.  My husband will want you fully rested and restored before he speaks with you.”

She got up and headed toward the curtain.  As she started to pull it back, Beorn spoke once again.

“Frigg, thank you for your hospitality. There was one other reason I left the priesthood.  Love.”

Frigg smiled.

“I would say that was related to the first reason you gave, but I understand. I suspect you broke her heart or perhaps…”

“She broke mine.”

“Ah, well perhaps you will find love again.”

“I hope so, it’s a good thing to be in love but also dangerous.”

“Yes, it is.”

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Halloween (Samhain)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Every once in a while I make the statement that I am a Pagan or have Pagan tendencies.  I have to confess the main reasons for this are spirituality and  holidays.  I suppose this post is more for educational purposes than it is expression of any beliefs I might have; but I do embrace the idea that a truer understanding in the realm of spirituality might be our hearts reaching out to the world around us, and paganism has that in abundance.

By the next Odin’s Eye we will be past Halloween and so I want to talk about the holiday before it happens.  I must freely confess now that my favorite holiday of the year is actually Halloween.  I never could say that because I was a Christian and minister, but now I can.  I love the whole thing.  The dressing up in costumes, the carving pumpkins, trick or treat, the whole darkness and death of it.  It reminds us all things die and when it comes to the seasons this is particularly true.  In a sense Halloween is the celebration of the end of the harvest season and the end of the year for pagans.

Now Christians tend to make anything Satanic if it doesn’t line up with their beliefs but Halloween and Samhain are hardly Satanic.  The real problem is that Christians also steal a lot from pagans and the fact that All Saints Day is November 1 is no accident because Halloween is the big day for pagans.  It’s about countering it with a Christian holiday. But Christians steal a lot more than that and holidays for Christianity tend to be near to pagan ones and even use pagan symbols but Christianize them.

That said, I like the basic concepts of paganism’s spirituality because it creates a very individualized belief system to the person while at the same time allows community spirit. At the same time, it has aspects of religion that I pretty much as a deist reject.

Faith:

No I don’t really have faith in what is commonly called Wicca or Paganism on that side of the aisle.  When I say I have pagan tendencies, I mean I draw my spirituality from looking at the world around me and my inward self.  This means paganism has many schools of thought and most of them have the same religious nature as the monotheistic faiths.  I have faith in my abilities to advance myself and be in tune with the world around me.  That’s about it, but it lines up with paganism’s basic foundational tenets.

Religion:

Halloween for the Pagan marks the end of the year and starts the new year with the season of Samhain.  The beginning of the long dark period before rebirth and renewal in the spring.  Different pagan groups view this differently but Halloween was a celebration originally and Christians are probably the most guilty of trying to add sinister qualities to it to discredit it.  Mostly though it is a time and day to honor the past and past people. To honor what has gone on before.

Theology:

Theologically speaking as a deist who believes in something; but as an agnostic I don’t know what it is, I think paganism is more honest about looking at what we know for sure and honoring it.  What can we know for sure?  The people who have gone before us that have blazed the path so we are where we are today.  Honoring the dead and their work and sacrifices is something we can truly honor and know we are honoring something that is indeed real.

Spirituality:

I suppose my most spiritual moment this last summer came while standing at the graveside of my father.  Given all that I was going through, I was wondering what he would have said or done at that moment.  I have to admit that it was there at his graveside I began to realize some sense of reality of what I was doing and perhaps honoring my commitments.  Mostly to my wife.  I still struggled after that but that moment left me pondering my life and in the end became the seed of the motivation that caused me to consider reconciliation with my wife.  Perhaps there is far more spiritual truth to the honoring those who have gone before. All religions seem to have elements of this and perhaps it is one of the more valuable contributions of religion in general.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Crisis of Faith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Probably for the purpose of the future of Odin’s Eye I am going to cover three areas. Firstly, I want to cover my current state of belief in greater detail so I will have three posts one on each of the following: Deism, Humanism and Paganism.  Secondly, I want to offer my four objections to the God of the Bible in detail, so there will be  post on each of them. Thirdly, If I am reading my calendar correctly, this will take me into December as I will probably use Odin’s Eye as a sounding board around Halloween and when it falls on Thanksgiving to talk about those holidays and how I celebrate them now ending with Yule or Christmas.

Before I start all of that though, I want to talk about the nature of my Crisis of Faith and some of the foundational things that led to it. Before I begin going trough the four things I normally do in Odin’s Eye, I want to explain on an emotional level this crisis I had this past two years was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face.  I would rate only my father’s death and the period time around my near divorce as more emotionally trying.  That said this crisis lasted over two years.  It was not an instantaneous thing and it probably led to a very vulnerable emotional state over a long period of time.  Since I have owned up to the fact I just don’t believe in Christianity anymore, it has been very welcome relief from the emotional strain.

Faith

My crisis of faith starts with the simple fact that as far as faith goes I was told to have a thinking Christianity.  That is a reasonable faith all my life.  It is interesting that my Sunday School teacher seems to at the end of her life had a similar experience as myself, but it was she who also told me that God can handle your questions and will be able to answer them or he is not God.  I was taught early on to search the Scriptures.  It was in this search I simply found eventually after forty years, questions I still do not have answers for and probably never will.  The issue though with faith is that the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 suddenly became nonsense to me because at face reading it is nonsense. It’s simply nonsense to say that which we hope for is evidence.  Wishful thinking but not evidence.

Religion

It’s not that the religion known as Christianity hasn’t played a part as well in the crisis.  Throughout my ministry career of twenty years, I have watched people who claim Christianity, in the name of  their religion, do some pretty despicable things to each other. One of my personal objections to Christianity is the gospel doesn’t live up to the hype of personal transformation of those who claim to have been ‘saved’.  It was never the religion that appealed to me.  It was the theology.  In the end the rituals and doctrinal statements and the expectations of the religion left me empty and if anything drained me, so it offered no comfort or security to my faith.

Theology

It’s the theology really that certain questions (which I will go over in the coming weeks) that left me going – “What the hell?”  It actually started with the notion of ‘sin’ as a concept.  When I realized that there was nothing natural in the world that said certain things are inherently sinful, I began to sense a problem.  If some preacher in my childhood hadn’t come along and told me I was a sinner, I would have never had that notion in my head. Sin is simply not self-evident, nor has the God who exists (if one exists) ever come to me personally and told me I was a sinner. In a sense Christianity tells you that you have a disease (without first proving empirically that the disease exists) and then offers you a cure.  They cure a problem of their own creation.

With that understood I realized a few more things about the Bible and the god it presents. 1) The Bible has no empirical evidence that it is inspired.  It makes that claim but never proves it – you accept it on faith or you don’t. 2) The God of the Bible seems to not have a very good plan for solving the problem of sin for a supreme being.  Why doesn’t he just forgive the sin against him like he expects us to do with each other?  Nope, Instead he kills his own son!?!  3) The god of the Bible’s justice is a little suspect, especially when you consider Hell. I will go over these in the coming months so bear with me as I offer more explanations over time.

Spirituality

Through it all however, I have held on to some beliefs – Deism, Humanism and elements of what Christians would consider Pagan have survived.  I believe in Reason, Humanity and the Spiritual.  I meditate but for different reason.  Probably the weird thing still to me is I don’t pray.  To whom?  Prayer has always bothered me anyway because most of the time it is asking for things and when a prayer is ‘answered’ you never hear the end of it from those who prayed because they claim credit for the result even though they might have had very little to do with it.  I figure the supreme being of the universe either doesn’t give a fuck, gave us what we need in ourselves to handle the problem or doesn’t exist so we are on our own.  Pray is in some ways presumptuous that our problems and our value means something to the divine to the point they will act on our behalf.  If god truly is our friend its  pretty one side friendship because of the way we pray.

For me a lot of things are spiritual but how that matters is still something I exploring and learning about to see where I am and where I am going.  All of this has brought me back to a Seeker level and to be honest this spiritual wayfarer prefers to stay that way.  If the divine powers that might exist, choose to bless me or do something for me may it be because of my deeds as I walk. not because I begged them through prayer.

Basically what I am saying this involved belief in Christianity in relationship to reasonable assessment.  Nothing more and nothing less. If you think its more personal because of recent events in my life, you would be wrong.  Those have an effect on my spirituality because of the emotions involved.  But my Crisis of faith was intellectual and theological in particular.

What I want people to understand is that a crisis of faith is a serious matter.  It rips you up in ways only another person who has been through it can truly understand.  If you have never been through it, I am sorry you can’t relate but I can tell you don’t dismiss the emotions involved or the seriousness of them. It can cause deep depression that is no laughing matter.  It also shouldn’t be just dismissed for many other reasons.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 1 – The Body (Odin)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

The old man walked along the beach. at least he appeared to be an old man.  Indeed he had been alive for many years but age had done very little to stop him or slow him down.  He was wearing a grey cloak that went all the way to the ground and a hood was pulled over his head.  In the occasional flash that peeked out from underneath the cloak one could see the glint of a grey chain mail shirt as he moved.  In truth if one could see under the cloak one would see a hardened male body, muscled and scarred with many scars.

The one thing that could be seen is his face if one looked straight on at him.  It was wise and aged but still very strong.  His blue eye smoldered with life and fire.  His other eye covered by a patch.  He had given it up long ago for wisdom. A grey beard trimmed and braided into two braids than hung down his chest.  The other thing that could be seen was his strong right hand which grasped a spear that was a couple of feet taller than him.  Made of ash wood and tipped with shiny unstained steel.  Balanced to the point of perfection, it could strike a target no matter the skill of the one who wielded it. The man smiled as he recalled this, he had only one eye so this came in handy.  More importantly to him though was that no oath swore on this spear could be broken.

The man was after all no man at all – but the Norse god Odin, the All Father. For all the good that did him anymore.  Gods are dependent on worshipers for the extent of their power.  Odin knew his power was not what it once was when he took on the Frost Giants all those millennia ago.  But it was enough that brave deeds were in the world and some men still searched for knowledge.  The Norse gods never did expect the fawning type of worship other gods demanded.  Just respect and to live bravely in front of them and show that by actions not words.  In this humanity still supplied some strength to him and his fellow residents of Asgard.

The place he was walking now had been saved by him centuries ago.  He sensed the fall of humanity’s worship toward Asgard.  The Religion of the Cross slowly grew in power until it pushed his out.  Probably only the fact that the Christians so readily combined Pagan and Heathen rituals and celebrations with their own that he and his fellow gods been allowed to survive.  But in those last days where his power still had enough significance, he had created this island.  Built by him through sundering a small portion of each of the nine worlds and taking a branch of the one world tree, he was able create this place.  This Island where the power of the Old Norse gods was still preserved.  He frowned.  How far they had fallen.

The specific beach on which he was walking was stunningly beautiful.  The blue ice-cold ocean lapping its waves against the sand.  The tall forest trees of all types on the other hand.  Bushes and other temperate vegetation providing cover for small animals and birds.  The beach sand itself was the light tan strewn with pebbles and the occasional rock.

As he thought of this, two crows came down the beach toward him.  The were large crows and ancient.  Huginn and Muninn, his old companions.  Their caws caught his attention for they were signalling that they had found something.  One of them landed on his right shoulder and the other perched on his left forearm. It was Huginn on his arm and the bird informed him with its whispers that there was a body of a man down the beach. Odin raised an eyebrow as he got the full report and then raised his head and whistled.

In seconds two wolves appeared. Both of them were huge, standing as tall as a tall man’s waist. One was snow-white with blue eyes – Geri. The other was midnight black with red eyes – Freki.  Both of them ran with speed to their master who greeted them warmly.  He then sent the down the beach ahead of him to find this body.  His voice was strong and commanding as it always was, he being king of Asgard.  He told them to guard it until he got there.  The Ravens left him and followed the wolves, flying above them.

Odin headed out at pace but he lost sight of the wolves for while as they rounded a curve on the beach.  His ravens still circled above the treeline and he could see where they had started to circle over where the body must lay.  As he rounded the bend in the coastline, the picture came into view.

Laying face down, spread-eagle was a naked man.  Odin could see by comparing his size to Geri who was standing next the man that he was easily as tall as himself.  He was also muscular and his hair, cut short, was black but it was salt and peppered with grey hairs  along with white temples. An older man who took care of his body apparently.  Muninn swooped down and landed on Odin’s shoulder and began to whisper in his ear stuff for Odin to remember. Odin nodded as he approached and listened to the bird.

When Odin reached the body he bent down next to it.  It was puzzling and he could not see any stitch of clothing like someone who had during storm had survived it.  No this man was clean naked like he had been stripped of it.   Only the glint of a silver chain around the man’s neck could be seen.  Muninn cocked his head sideways and also looked quizzically at the man.  Huginn was still circling overhead and Geri sniffed the body.  Freki stood some distance away, standing guard and staying alert.

Odin reached over and turned the man over. The man’s face was also younger looking than it probably should have been.  He had a goatee which was black and grey like his hair.  His faced was etched with some signs of age but not many. One the chain around the man’s neck was a pendent.  Odin took it in his fingers.  It was a symbol of Thor’s Hammer.  There was something odd about it though.

Odin closed his one eye and then opened it again,  Now the eye glowed with a soft white light and he looked at the man up and down.  He paid particular attention to the pendent though and then he chuckled the laugh of the old and wise when they discover something they should have seen as obvious, but missed it.  He closed his eye again and when he opened it back up it was once again its normal deep blue.

“Not from here are you.  You are from the world outside.  Now the only question is how you got here? Huginn and Muninn, head back to the cabin and tell Frigg I am coming with an unconscious man who will need her healing hand.”

Huginn and Muninn took off without hesitation heading back the way they had come.  Odin laid his spear in the sand and then hosted the man over his shoulder.  He then grabbed his spear again in his right hand and stood effortlessly.  He walked as easily as if he had before unburdened.  His pace was the same.  A god’s strength comes in handy at times.

The man was a puzzle to be sure.  Not of the Island that was for sure.  Odin reflected that he had, when he had created the island, pulled in parts of various Viking clans.  This man was not part of any one of them.  He had the look of some one with an easy life but one who deliberately put himself through physical activity to keep himself strong and athletic.  How long had it been since the last person had gotten through the barrier?  Centuries at least.

Odin pondered this as he always did.  Ragnarok always was in the front of his mind.  The great wolf Fenrir’s face coming at him, the jaws clamping down on him.  Not the fault of Fenrir but his own treachery against the wolf had caused that.  A mistake in the judgment of the gods. They feared Fenrir too much and it had cost them.  It had made them a powerful enemy.  Odin had spent his life trying to delay the end of the world that Fenrir would bring about – Ragnarok.

His concern was his dreams and visions had not told him everything.  Something as simple as a man arriving from the old world outside the island could be the start of the end.  A harbinger of doom is what his man’s appearance could be.  Or it could be nothing.  The amulet though was not of Viking make, although it was the symbol of Thor’s hammer, and it was infused with magic.

The man himself did not look injured.  But his breathing was very shallow and his heart beat very slowly.  Odin hoped Frigg would know more.  He sighed deeply.  So much was lost; and yet, the world he had made here had become loved and familiar to him,  He had wandered its places many times.  While not as great a joy as the world of the One World Tree, he found it stimulating.  He would miss it when Ragnarok actually came.  He hoped that now was not the time.  But he knew that one time, something would signal the end.  As pondered these things, the house he and Frigg called home at times came into view.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Life after Christianity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

People ask me now what I do on Sundays.  Well I work when I am scheduled.  When I have the day off and it’s football season I watch pregame and whatever game I am watching.  I do homework or just relax. I find that I get more rest now than I ever did as a Pastor/Christian on the so-called day of rest.

There is of course a more serious thing to address here isn’t there?  What has happened to me now that my faith in Christianity is gone?  Well, I don’t go to church and I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about sin anymore.  I don’t obsess with other people’s behavior.  I pretty much actually follow the golden rule better than I ever have before.  I leave people alone and expect them to do the same for me.

The bigger question for many of Christianity would probably be – in rejecting Christianity, have you rejected Christ?  Well, that depends on whether you feel Jesus of Nazareth was just a historical figure or the Messiah.  I am not sure and it’s because of the accounts of his life.  I don’t reject Jesus as a historical figure or even as a revolutionary figure.  I just think like Paul Bunyan and John Henry, some people have added some tall tales to his life.  My point is that all the gospels are written by sympathetic believers and it is a reasonable criticism that they might have embellished the stories to prove what they wanted to prove, including the story of the resurrection.

Truth is, I like Jesus; I like his style.  I know it may surprise people but I still read the Bible but not with the same eyes I used to read it with.  I just think it contains truth with a small ‘t’ but I don’t think all of it is Truth with a capital T. Yes, I know someone once remarked that Jesus either is a liar, a lunatic or Lord.  The problem I have with that observation is that Jesus might not be seen as a liar or lunatic if the disciples hadn’t probably added a bunch of stuff to make him seem so.

Faith:

So what do I believe?  I believe in some form of higher power. Whether that is a god, gods and goddesses or the Force I couldn’t tell.  I don’t know enough to say and probably never will.  Like I said before I think it is unreasonably to say on the one hand there is no God and on the other hand it’s also equally unreasonable to think you know for sure what the divine is and how he, she or they work.  I just don’t buy either extreme based on a reasonable look at what humanity knows. I am learning it is far more relaxing to be comfortable with this ignorance. There is little I can do to change it, so I might as well live life as fully as I can.

Now, the one thing I will tell you is that if you are a Christian, I am not saying you are stupid or going to decry you for having faith in it.  I mean I had that faith myself for decades and I consider myself a reasonable human being.  Faith has that effect and so I get the struggle because I have struggled with it too.  I am not going to decry you for it or even make fun of you.  I get it.  For me walking away was years of agonizing frustration of wrestling with something. I simply could not have faith in something that to me didn’t make sense anymore.

Religion:

As a former and now retired pastor, I can say I miss some elements of religion but not many. I miss the fellowship of being with people.  I like gospel music for the vocal harmony of it.  I was never a fan of the pageantry and the rituals.  I did like putting together service that I hoped would inspire people.  I did enjoy preaching. The Pagan Pulpit every week will do the same for me, so I guess I am still good with it.

Putting aside the religion and the nonsense, I actually have been able to focus not so much on ‘avoiding sin’ and living with less sin; but rather, I have been able to focus on what I want to build in my life.  While I can agree with some that religion has done some great things, I also can see that it can also be used to justify some of the most evil acts in history.  It has also allowed those who believe a particular religion to look down their noses and think they are superior to others who are not of their faith.  Worse yet is trying to order society so that others are forced to follow their religion’s ethics even though they might disagree.

Theology:

If there is a god, gods or whatever, I think the theology of special revelation is the last place we want to look to discover what that divine power(s) is like.  Mostly this is because any revelation of the divine, if it actually happened, has to pass through the filter of human beings.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are good as a race.  People tend to look at humanity as evil but the vast majority of humans are just trying to make a life for themselves. I think if a person goes bad, it’s just that – they went bad.  They didn’t start that way.

No, it is not our lack of goodness that make special revelation problematic, it’s the fact we are prone to mistakes and such revelation has to be preserved over the centuries and like a game of telephone, the story gets edited and changed over time until the story we have is no longer what actually happened.  Too much humanity gets to play with special revelation and through ignorance, good intentions and yes the occasional person who uses religion to control, changes are made and the original revelation is lost.  Assuming, it wasn’t completely made up in the first place.

Spirituality:

Yes, I do meditate.  But meditation is not exclusively Christian nor is it exclusively religious or a matter of faith. I am not looking for any personal special revelation when I do it and a lot of other people don’t do it for that reason either.  Meditation is simply the act of clearing the mind and calming the emotions. It allows you to think much clearer and so it is what I do a lot to calm myself down and think.

What I don’t do is pray anymore.  I mean looking at it you see so many people using prayer to ask for stuff. They ask for wealth, fame and love for themselves.  It is very rare for people who pray to be truly selfless in their prayers.  If I ever do pray again, it will be like Esmeralda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I remain the happy outcast,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!