Christianity

Odin’s Eye – Why I Am a Pagan (and What I Mean by That)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

I suppose a definition is in order.  Pagan can be used as both a noun and an adjective and has multiple definitions and means which may or may not apply to everyone who calls themselves a pagan.  Pagan or paganism can imply some, most or all of the following:

  1. One observing a polytheistic belief system
  2. A member of spiritual, cultural or religious community that worships nature – neopagan
  3. One who is not a Christian, Jew or Muslim (negative)
  4. Irreligious or hedonistic person
  5. Uncivilized

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None of these definitions really work for me I would prefer to understand it with my own definition that kind of reflects a broader definition of pagan:

One who defines their own spirituality and comes to understand that spirituality from the world around them.

Yep, that is me.  I mean I don’t really have any belief in special revelation anymore but I do believe that people might have some sound ideas about how the divine works but that is the natural revelation of reason not the divine doing something directly to reveal themselves.

Faith:

When you faith basically consists of believing there is something or someone out there but you don’t believe that we will ever know who or they are.  When you believe that the only real means we have to engage the world is yourself, then you begin to have faith only in yourself. to do the things you need to do. If I am going to come to understand the divine reality, then it is going to have to be me that does it. It doesn’t mean that conversation, reading and the opinions of others are not part of that. What it means is like I know that I am the only responsible moral agent for what I do, I also am the only real moral agent in what I believe. The reality is that for every human being there is a faith in something.

Religion:

I don’t completely dismiss religion, I just know what it really is.  It men and women’s collective opinions about the divine.  I don’t dismiss sacred writing as they might have so accurate observations about what god may be like, I just know they are all the works of men and women and the divine probably has little to do with it. There is a kind of natural revelation as people talk, discuss and write about god but that is all it is. For me the jury is still out of what value religion actually has and it isn’t coming back  with an innocent verdict. One thing is for sure for me is that all of that is nothing more than a few more voices in the whole of the discussion for me now.

Theology:

The thing about theology based on natural revelation is that verification of what you discover using reason is not always possible.  You start sentences about the divine with ‘If,,,” a lot.  The one thing being a pagan means is a lack of being dogmatic about what you believe. Your theology is very open to change and the changes can be quite dynamic. You are open to these changes and in fact I feel a good pagan should embrace them and meditate and think on them.  It’s a journey of discovery not a place to make a last stand and die on a hill that may not be worth anything in the end.

Spirituality:

This means a great deal of spirituality as a pagan for me is to be open and relaxed.  My deist pagan self tells me that I can be open to let the god of the universe; if they exist, to reveal themselves to me in the world around me.  My humanist pagan self can see the ‘divine spark’ in each human being and let that tell me a little about the divine as well.  My spirituality is based more on living the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru than it is rituals and creeds.  They simply represent a good code to live by in my opinion and ultimately it is my spirituality and no one else’s so I have to guide me to truth as much as possible accepting the guidance of others when it fits. I am The Grey Wayfarer and that is an identity I want to keep the rest of my life.

Conclusion:

We are coming on the pagan celebrations of Yule.  Part of my spirituality is the celebration of holidays and some of the divine being revealed in them as I celebrate them.  Mostly through the concepts of family and values such as hope and joy. This brings us to the end of the year.  What a year it has been!!!  Good, bad and ugly it has been a year I will not soon forget. I want to keep walking though, I believe that the best things are still yet to be discovered are around the next bend in the path, over the next hill or across the next valley of life.   So I commit myself to the journey.

So I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues -A Prosperous Soul

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

Well at this point the only thing left is my exam for Inferential Stats which actually doesn’t involve much in the way of an exam.  I need to finish my three problems in presentation form to turn in today and have my Excel and Word work on a flash drive to look at.  There is a in class portion but it isn’t supposed to take long. In any case by 5:30 today Fall 2018 will be over for me. I am fairly sure this was my toughest semester not academically but personally.  It just was challenging on an emotional level all the time.

When I haven’t been working on home work, I have been trying to relax and spend as much time as I can with my wife. Part of this is dreaming about being a prosperous soul.  I have heard the verse in the bible about the love of money being the root of all evil.  Usually I have heard this in a sermon where the basic gist is – “your money is going to cause you to sin so give it to the church.”  Convenient that the clerics will take it off your hands for you.  I am not sure I love money so much as I love what it gives when I have it – a feeling of prosperity,  That feeling of being a prosperous soul that is satisfied and has no need or want.  It’s the lack of prosperity that leads to evil and struggle.  I want to end my struggle and find some prosperity that is satisfying.

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I don’t want money so much as the prosperity it brings and that feeling that lack has been satisfied and the other feeling I want is to be able to help others feel the same by sharing from that prosperity. I want to be a prosperous soul.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

Independence is the issue of Self-Reliance. It is the centerpiece of prosperity too.  The goal is to have all the needs met.  Not just the basics of food, clothing and shelter but hat you need to function in the society you live. So for us Americans that usually involves transport and insurances of various kinds.  So far my wife and I have that covered just not at the best level. Hoping to change that.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

With school drawing to a close, it has become time to look closer at what I am going to be, what my work identity will be. I do enjoy working and making money. There is something in that process that is satisfying to me in and of itself.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

My wife and I finally got a sectional couch so the living room looks a little better. It also is  a step closer to perhaps having people over as guests. If you need to talk and want a coke and a smile, I still have a listening ear and Coke Zero in the fridge. Just make sure you call first, as my wife and I might be cuddling on the new couch.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

There is a part of me that will be glad when the school part is out of this and I can study what I want and read what I want.  There is a possibility of another semester of classes online but that is mostly a way to pay for my internship by remaining a full-time student. Keeps the student loan guys off my back for a little longer so I can get a decent job too.  The real thing is that I do have a few weeks where I can read something I want to read and can study something I want to study.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

#2 is going to be finished but not quite.  I will be walking the platform Saturday in the cap in gown.  It will be a moment of achievement, I just have that internship thing to finish and probably some more classes to pay for it.  The real work will be done and so that is that. # 3 will probably start the day after as I update my resume and look for jobs that this degree qualifies me for.  Time to start finding that new identity. # 6 – I am going to probably sign up at a new gym tomorrow after work and that is when I will be working out.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

Step 1 continues. Xmas bonus, and taxes coming up soon.  Might help with that. New job with more money might help too. I am curious where we will be by the end of 2019.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Doubt but Not Denial

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Eminem – Not Afraid

With Eminem for me it really depends on the song whether I like him or not.  I like this one because it is very much a comeback song and I need a comeback song. In any case, the song has its musical moments that I like.

Poem: 

Solitude – Lord Byron

To sit on rocks, to muse o’er flood and fell,
To slowly trace the forest’s shady scene,
Where things that own not man’s dominion dwell,
And mortal foot hath ne’er or rarely been;
To climb the trackless mountain all unseen,
With the wild flock that never needs a fold;
Alone o’er steeps and foaming falls to lean;
This is not solitude, ’tis but to hold
Converse with Nature’s charms, and view her stores unrolled.

But midst the crowd, the hurry, the shock of men,
To hear, to see, to feel and to possess,
And roam alone, the world’s tired denizen,
With none who bless us, none whom we can bless;
Minions of splendor shrinking from distress!
None that, with kindred consciousness endued,
If we were not, would seem to smile the less
Of all the flattered, followed, sought and sued;
This is to be alone; this, this is solitude!

It wouldn’t be fitting not to have Lord Byron Poem when I am also quoting him for my text this week. Solitude is something I am acquainted with and something at times I desire.  He hints at what it means to be alone and it is not solitude with nature but to be among our fellow-men and not feeling anything.  Without connection to something we feel alone, even in a crowd.  Boy do I get that.

Meditation: 

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Song of Preparation: Disturbed – Prayer

Don’t normally pray, but this isn’t really a prayer but a reflection on loss and doubt in God.  I understand this better now more than ever.

Text:

There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off.  In short, I deny nothing but doubt everything.

Sermon:

I find that the hardest thing personally to grasp at times is my turn from Christianity.  Not because I don’t think it was right decision or wasn’t in the end reasonable but the constant reminders this time of year of a holiday I no longer celebrate the Christian side of.  I got my oil changed and the guy asked me if it was OK to wish me a ‘Merry Christmas’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’.  Do what you want to do. I am not offended. It does however remind me of something that I no longer hold sacred.  It’s not about the Mass to Christ anymore to me. It’s about family and Yule.

I, like Lord Byron, have always had a bit of the pagan in me.  I have enjoyed this quote by Byron for long time because it makes sense to me. This tug of war between the side of me that wants to place my faith fully in something and be open to all possibilities and the other side of me who is the hardened skeptic that doubts everything. It however is a tension I have come to think is beneficial.  What I want “to believe in is the world the promised it would be, not the tawdry, fouled-up mess it is.”

I suspect this pagan part of me will always be there and I don’t regret that because it means I will hopefully find a way to walk this world that enjoys the wonders of it and yet, seeks the truth of it.  No matter how ugly the reality may be I remain both hopeful and a skeptic.

Closing Song: Skyrim – The Song of the Dragonborn

Yeah, I know it is a song about a fictional character for a video game – The Dragonborn. Except the song is epic and the lyrics with the singers are also epic. A good way to build up our courage for the week ahead.

Parting Thought: 

Image result for villain in someone else's story

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – New Identity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am writing this a couple of days early to clear my weekend schedule for both school and I promised that I would give you a double dose of fiction this Saturn’s Day.  I am not sure of the Pagan Pulpit on Sun’s Day. That will greatly depend on how things go this week and the early weekend.  My perception of this week is that it has been a busy one but what I want to talk about at this point is how my identity is changing into something else.

For about two decades I have been a pastor and Christian theologian.  None of that is true anymore, that identity for all practical purposes is a dead one.  I mean my Master’s Degree in Theology is still there as well as my Bachelor’s in Biblical Studies/Ministry, so I could pass myself still as a theologian, but not a believing one.  I suppose from a certain point of view that makes me a dangerous critic of Christian doctrine and theology because I can’t be accused of being ignorant of what Christians believe.  Not that I want to be such a critic; as in truth, I would rather start focusing my time on things that are more personally productive. I would rather focus on developing a new identity.

My problem is I feel very much like I am back in college making that decision for the first time.  There are differences as I know I am probably more experienced than I was thirty years ago, as well as ‘wiser’, whatever that means.  My issue is what am I now?  I know somethings that have not changed – I am still a husband, father and grandfather.  I am still a good friend.  I just don’t know what else I am right now.  Options:

Professor – This would mean a master’s degree in economics probably and then Ph. D work.  The issue I have with this one is continued financial aid and debt. I then would have a long-term career possible, if I made tenure so I could retire when I wanted to retire. I guess this one is on the top of the list because I have been told I am a good teacher and so that is the issue here in that it would fit me well and past experience in public speaking and teaching would not be wasted.

Business – This is an option because the pull of money is on me fairly strong as I need to make a bunch money in order to make sure retirement is even possible.  I could get an MBA at Ferris as the have a completely online one as well.  Corporate ladder or start my own business?  There are options here that are very flexible.  I know people from long experience, so that would be an asset as well.

Lawyer – Like it or not, my Political Science Degree is also preparation for a legal career. There are plenty of law schools in Michigan, so there is that.  I can’t put it off the list because with my own practice I can’t be fired either. I really do need a career path where I am in the driver seat as far as employment.

Writer – I have already had one career that starved me on occasion, so being a writer has purely emotional appeal, not a financial one.  It has risks. I would have to have another job until it could pay for things.  It also has the advantage of being non-ending.  I could do it in retirement for that matter.  Right up until they put me on my viking ship to burn as it sails out to sea. I am the Rabyd Skald after all.

I just don’t know which of these could be my identity or even a combination might be in order. I just don’t know. It has to fit me to be an identity and that is the challenge for me right now – finding what fits. The one thing I know does not fit anymore is ministry.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Once school is done I will have to do a reassessment of the areas in my life where discipline might be need.  Right now it is just obvious what needs discipline. The real problem right now for me is my old gym is closed and I need a new one and that means I will probably not be able to lift for a bit while I find a new one.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Defeat and failure are something I try to avoid but my attitude about them is far more positive which is to say – once you have failed you can’t go back and fix it.  You can only move on by getting back up and moving forward.  I think this is something I may need to remember soon as I am struggling very much in one class and I don’t know how it is going to come out.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

I haven’t really thought about fidelity much this week as I have not had much time to be anything but loyal myself.  I guess the only struggle I still have is what to do if I ever cross paths again with certain people.  I simply do not know how I will react.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week

I miss weightlifting this week but I am using the extra time for homework. Cleaning and walking were on target, so that was good.  I do need to find an alternative walk site starting next week.

Nutrition:

I need to define a couple of things.  A Cheat Meal for me is basically a period of time (a half hour to an hour) where I can eat pretty much any food and drink any beverage without counting it toward carb count for the day.  A Carb Count is a single serving of carbs outside a cheat meal and during the day,  Right now with five Cheat Meals and a Carb Count of five a day, I have a lot of room.  As the weeks  go by however this is not going to remain the case.  By the last month things will be very tight.  I need to remember those pictures are coming on my 50th birthday.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational – All good here, I guess I am simply just putting my head down and trying to finish the year out as best I can. When 2018 hits the rear view mirror, I will probably let out a cheer.

Business – I am really looking forward to the job search and finding this new identity for myself.  My real issue is surviving it financially until then. Thankfully these virtues are not a problem for me for the most part so I keep doing what I need to do.

Self – Right now staying disciplined is tiring but I know it will be worth it.  Fidelity and Perseverance are now more central so I worry less about them right now anyway.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 3 – The Cross and Empty Tomb – An Imaginary Solution to an Imaginary Problem.

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

I know I will probably get a reaction out of this one and I am not trying to be provocative.  I am simply trying to get people to see the logical problems of Salvation through Christ.  Once you dismiss sin as a made up concept, you could say that it is really unnecessary to go after ‘God’s’ solution to the problem, but the whole of Christianity revolves around Christ’s work on the cross and the resurrection to save people from sin and from eternal damnation. You might say it is the core doctrine no matter what flavor of Christianity you live by so it deserves some attention.

Faith:

Of course, the first thing each flavor of Christianity stakes out is how said salvation is achieved with Christ.  The faith versus works controversy starts right away in the first century. James and Paul go at it right in the Bible.  Now I heard multiple explanations from both Protestants and Catholics of why James and Paul are not arguing about the same thing really but they practically quote each other with only one variation.  One says salvation in Christ cannot be of works so no one can boast, and the other one says that without works it is impossible to show faith. No matter how you logically try to get them to be ‘defending the same salvation only from different directions”; it is contradictory.  One is saying that works have nothing to do with salvation, and the other is saying it does.

So what this really shows is that even in the Bible and among early Christians, they had disputes and disagreements about how this works and thus it points to the Bible not being inspired by God so much as it records those early debates among the faithful about how salvation worked.  That makes the Bible very human and also not the Word of God because if God had actually wanted to tell us how this works because it seems it would be the most important thing for us to know, he would have made it plain, straightforward and quite frankly non-contradictory.

Religion:

Of course, every flavor of Christianity goes even further with specifics and added on things to the doctrine of salvation in Christ.  The Catholic Church plain out tells you that you can only be saved from death through them and no one else.  Many Protestant denominations will tell you the same.  My former denomination would tell people that they had the whole gospel, not just part of it.  Salvation is complicated by religion because religion seeks to use these ideas to keep people grateful and faithful for telling those people their version of ‘the truth’.

Theology:

Religion aside though, my objections are theological – what kind of God do we have, who claims to be merciful and loving, but demands for his followers to be forgiving without condition but doesn’t do so himself?  It also brings up the question of the ability to forgive in that we are expected to forgive each other without condition because we can, even as sinners. Yet, a holy God can’t simply forgive without sacrificing his only begotten son in one of the cruelest ways ever devised by man.  He must have this sacrifice or he cannot forgive at all and I must have faith in it and the resurrection or he will not forgive me specifically.  Worse yet if I don’t forgive others as a Christian, he won’t forgive me. He can choose to not forgive others and still be a holy God, but if I don’t forgive, I cannot be saved?  So I as a ‘sinner’ have not only a greater expectation than my creator but also I am more capable because I can do this forgiveness without conditions, but he cannot?

This bit of ‘logic’ pales in comparison to the fact that in order to forgive us he must sacrifice himself to himself, to appease himself to save us from himself. See the problem? Well Ed, what if then the whole doctrine of salvation as it currently stands is man-made and that isn’t the real one?  My response – exactly and that is probably true from the start of Christianity to where it actually stands today.   It seems to me that this idea is just as man-made because a supreme being could have come up with the simple plan to just forgive people. As Jesus is praying in the garden “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” we would see the opening up the heavens and God saying -“You know what, I have a better plan – let’s just forgive people like I expect them to forgive each other.” That would be just, logical and consistent.

There is also another theological side issue – How much of a sacrifice is it really for Jesus if he knows for certain (which he indicates three times in the gospels) that he will rise from the dead?  Honestly, if he knew that and most people who have faith believe he did and the text certainly seems to indicate he did, then it isn’t that big of a sacrifice? He knows he is not going to ultimately be dead in the end, so why not do it as there is no ultimate risk to him?  In the end, Jesus is risking nothing himself as God, just going through the inconvenience of temporal suffering.  Why? To make a point? What point would that be, when there is nothing actually sacrificed in the end?

Spirituality:

I guess this leaves me with the question from a spiritual point of view as to what salvation is? Or does it?  I mean, if there is no such thing as sin, there is no need to be saved from it. Of course, then I could be left with the question of what the real divine reality might expect from me?  I guess only thing then is to live a good life regardless of what that divine reality might be. Marcus Aurelius rightly observes, in my opinion, this in his famous quote on the good life.

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Of course, you are kind of left to things yourself as to define what virtues you will live by to attain that good life. In short, what is defined as a good life is left to you.

Conclusion:

So with number three down, I am left with my final objection to consider at the end of this month concerning Christianity and the Christian god. Namely that the justice of the God of the Bible is suspect, particularly when it comes to the doctrine of final destination – aka Hell.

The rest of the schedule for Odin’s Eye for 2018 is as follows:

December 13 – Why I Am A Pagan

December 21 – Yule

December 28 – Objections to Christianity – Part 4 – The Justice of the God (Hell)

Then it will be on to the New Year.

I want to note at this point that once mt last objection is laid bare, I will be putting all four of them in one page so that if anyone, want’s to attempt to answer them, I will gladly hear you out and respond at that point.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – A Pagan Thanksgiving

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day – Happy Thanksgiving!!!

If someone were to ask me if I could still celebrate Thanksgiving as a non-Christian, I would probably respond – “You still think Thanksgiving is a Christian holiday?  That’s cute.”  The thing is that when you study holidays in general you see a couple of things.  Nearly all cultures and religions have a celebration of thanksgiving to whatever powers are worshiped at the harvest time.  All of them.  The other thing you see is when a country or culture accepts Christianity,  Christians basically repackage the pagan holidays and re-symbolize them for themselves.  In short, Christians have stolen or blended with holidays from all different traditions since Christianity was founded as the early Jewish Christians still celebrated Jewish holidays.  Mostly what you see today is Christians have stolen various holiday traditions from paganism and blended them with their own. It’s why some pagans get mad about the whole thing.

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Personally, I am taking a different tack this Thanksgiving. I am a deist and I will probably whisper a prayer (something I rarely do anymore) of pure thanksgiving to whatever powers are really out there, if any. But to be honest there are thanks that could be given to many people for that celebration and for the prosperity I receive. So my list of thanks goes to people this year.

  1. I thank my wife for being a forgiving soul who loves me despite all the things that have happened between us.  I haven’t been a very good husband this year, but she deserves wife of the year honors.  Thank you baby. I love you more than ever before.
  2. I thank my Mother for being so generous to us in the past decades for housing us an sheltering us.  She has put up with a lot and still loves us.
  3. I thank my kids for being good kids. You have all followed your hearts and have learned to love with power.  All of you have expressed your love for me this last year and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you.
  4. I thank my grand kids for being kids.  For showing how there can be pure joy in the world for the simple things of life.  For showing me that no matter what the news says, I can see hope in your eyes.
  5. I thank my fellow students at school and my professors.  The learning environment over the years has been awesome.  That is mostly due to you.
  6. I thank my coworkers.  You have given me comradeship that I do value.  It’s nice to work with you, laugh with you and just share this working experience with you.  You make the burdens of it lighter.
  7. As I look at my feast, I thank the farmers, ranchers and all the people who make it possible. To the people who plant, grow, raise, harvest, process and transport all of it – Thank you.
  8. For everyone who keeps the heat and lights on, provides the basics of life and the luxuries.  Thank you.
  9. I thank the watchers of the wall. While I think many of the so-called threats to the nation are the politicians made up are garbage done for political ploys, I know there are real threats out there that you guard against. Thank you.
  10. To my friends, to the ones I have left anyway.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I haven’t made it easy this year I know.  I appreciate the real friends who didn’t bolt at the first sign of trouble.

Yeah, I am going to thank people this year.  Thank you all.

In Thanksgiving,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 2 – Sin: An Imaginary Man-Made Problem

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Introduction:

My loss of faith really started here.  I can actually go back to a message I was preaching on sin and salvation through Christ and the fact this quote from Dan Barker from Losing Faith in Faith ( a book I still want to read) was rolling around in my head.  I was trying to think of something that would make his assertion wrong.  I got up preached the message and sat down.  I can site this moment as the time my crisis of faith began. I realized he was right.

I realized there is no proof that sin rationally exists.  I only believed that because that was what I was told by a preacher and read it in the Bible.  Unless the Bible was truly inspired, then I had no natural or logical proof that there was this thing called sin, a sinful nature or my actions were righteous or sinful. God Himself had never come down and told me I was a sinner, that was men either in the form of preachers or the men who wrote the Bible.  Over time, I began to realize that sin has the same problem as the inspiration of the Bible – the Bible asserts it but never proves it.

Going back to my pulpit moment, I sat there thinking and my faith started to unravel.  I sat there thinking: “I make a living by telling people they are sinners so they will feel guilty, then they accept the ‘gospel’ and feel better.  Out of gratitude they throw money in the basket and pay me. WTF.”  It was a bad moment for me and one that led to my eventual downfall over two years later.

Faith:

If you are a believer you take the existence of sin as purely a matter of faith.  Basically, if you believe that sin exists, you do it for the same reasons you believe the Bible is inspired.  You have faith it is true – you hope and believe it is true, but you do not have a proof or a rational argument to say it is true.  The Bible writers assume sin is real and a problem.  They never prove it, and the believer is left to take that sin exists as a reality and that God has solved it.  You believe all that without rational evidence.  It is purely a matter of faith.

Religion:

I now think that sin is a man-made concept.  It probably originally. like so many things might have had a good intention.  To keep people from making bad decisions given the cultural context.  I mean sex without birth control and modern medicine can lead to deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancies. So you tell people not to have sex except with people they are committed to and get married to so the child will be legitimate. The practical side of this is the lessened risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. It is a wise course of action.

When just showing the wisdom of this to others doesn’t work, you throw in the wrath of God to bring about a more forceful form of persuasion – tell them it’s a sin against God and He will bring down his wrath on the one who sins.  This is where you make up the concept that sexual sin is an affront to God and he will send you to hell if you don’t repent of it and stop doing it.  It is ultimately a fear tactic that uses guilt to prevent certain behaviors.

The dark side of this gets worse though as people genuinely think they’re taking the side of God when the punish sinners.  The real problem with sin is that some people think they have risen above the concept of it.  They feel qualified to judge others using their religious beliefs. It gets worse because the said concept can be held by people in power who wish to impose their views on people to create a ‘righteous society’.  To force others to follow your moral code of some behaviors being sin and thus outlawed. The problem is the difficulty using reason to prove something is a sin.  It’s not self-evident.

Theology:

I don’t believe in sin as a theological concept anymore. I think in large part it is a bad one because all it does is produce guilt and then in a guilt-ridden state people can be manipulated.  I haven’t looked at this fully but I have a theory a large part of religious people have a poor self-concept and that is because they have a large amount of guilt associated with their ‘sins’.  This leads them to think they are bad or even evil people and the cycle of self-destruction begins.  You spend a lot of time putting on masks at that point to protect yourself from the social wrath of being a sinner while at the same time being wracked with guilt because you can’t seem to escape your sin. If it sounds like I have been there – yep.  I would say a lot of my initial causes of depression came from this struggle.

My theology about mankind has certainly changed since I discarded man as a sinner.  I don’t think of myself as a sinner but simply a human being. I am not all-powerful, all-knowing or all-present; so I am going to make mistakes and there is really nothing I can do about it. I have needs that are normal.  Wants that are normal.  I have my reason and wisdom to guide me. I am not perfect and I make mistakes and have errors in judgment, but that doesn’t mean I am a sinner, just human. To me, life is no longer about overcoming sin and removing it from my life.  Rather, it is about discovering the virtue in me and causing it to grow. And there is a virtue in who I am as a human being if I look for it and develop it.  It about growing into the best human being I can be.

Spirituality:

This is why spiritually speaking I spend more time meditating on the Nine Noble Virtues as a way to learn where I need to grow. I am not trying to get rid of sin out of my life, praying that God is gracious, etc. I have come to see some things as normal and human, not sinful.  My goal now is to build character, not remove sin because I think sin is a made up imaginary concept.  I meditate on the good things, not the bad things.  I grow the good in me, rather than trying to deny my humanity by calling it sinful. I find it makes me much happier and far more at ease in this world.

Conclusion:

After concluding that the Bible is a human book with no proof of inspiration and the sin is a concept made up by the writers of the Bible.  There are only two things left on my four objections to Christianity.  The first is the other imaginary thing the Bible creates which is the solution to sin being Salvation in Christ and finally, the god of the Bible seems to have very suspect standards of justice.

You will have to hang on a while though as next week I will talk about how I can as a Deist, Humanist Pagan celebrate Thanksgiving.  The week after that I will talk about Why I am a Humanist.  Then I will get to my third theological objection to Christianity on the first Thursday of December. The remaining schedule for Odin’s Eye for the year looks like this:

November 22 – Why I Celebrate Thanksgiving (as a Deist, Humanist Pagan).

November 29 – Why I Am a Humanist

December 6 – Objections to Christianity – Part 3 – Salvation through Christ – An Imaginary Man Made Solution.

December 13 – Why I Am A Pagan

December 21 – Yule

December 28 – Objections to Christianity – Part 4 – The Justice of the God (Hell)

Then it will be on to the New Year.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Am I Happy?

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin) Day

Journal Entry:

I have heard a lot of comments this week from people who perhaps haven’t seen me in a while.  Mostly, I get the comment about how much weight I have lost.  I am guessing, because I haven’t stepped on a scale in a while, probably over 50 lbs.  The other thing I hear is “you look like you’re happier.”

I have spent a lot of time thinking about that statement.  The main reason I did what I did this spring and summer was I was tired of being unhappy and wanted that to change.  I identified what I thought was making me unhappy and began to shuck it off and found a few things I thought would make me happy and embraced them.  This was a very trying time for me in many ways, but I also discovered that there was a lot of relief. I think lies drain your happiness and when you stop lying to yourself and others, the strain of maintaining them gives a relief.

In the end, I discarded a lot of draining things.  In would warn other introverts who want to go into ministry that people drain you and unless you have a true way to recharge yourself, you will get to the point you are no longer happy.  I would say a bad marriage drains you.  I would say trying to maintain a faith you no longer possess drains you.  I was experiencing all those things and now I am not.  I am no longer in the ministry so I keep my happiness instead of giving it to others.  My marriage I much better and has shifted from being a drain on my happiness to a creator of happiness.  It is work, but that is something I am happy to see.  I am honest about my lack of faith in Christianity, but I find this actually makes me happier.  One axiom from Christianity that I still embrace is ‘the truth will set you free.”

There are still things that I struggle with.  I don’t like losing friends but that has happened. One ‘friend’ I now consider a two-faced, backstabbing traitor and that bothers me immensely at times. I personally feel this is going to make me trusting people at that level again very difficult.  I feel guilty about some actions in the past.  As I said last week, sometimes the wounds and bruises on my heart make me sad at times.  There is also the ever-present Grey.

That said I feel I am at a turning point.  I am being honest with myself to the point where the wounds of the past both on my self and those I caused cannot be cured by anything but time.  Some of them will never fully heal and I can accept that. Time doesn’t heal all wounds.  Sorry, I can’t base my happiness on being fully healed someday.  I can just hope that my soul will be as healthy as it can be at the time.  Perhaps that is where my happiness will truly find me. One can only hope.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

This weekend, I think I really began to see why for me working for someone will eventually be no longer be satisfying.  Mostly, I never feel self-sufficient in that situation.  The bucket list goal of owning my own business is the ultimate goal in this regard. I want something that will make me self-reliant completely and allows me the freedom to do the things I want to do.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

I do enjoy working for work sake.  I never thought I would get there but there is something about work that makes a person feel better like they are actually productive. I think I have found that in my job and I am starting to feel it coming when it comes to school work. With only five weeks left in the semester, it’s about time.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Hospitality requires a measure of prosperity.  One thing that kind of stands out but speaks to the state of our prosperity is our living room.  I kind of envision a place where I can have my friends over to talk, drink and perhaps even have a support group.  A sectional couch to seat a dozen or so and a bar.  A reading chair as part of that. Television for me is not part of the equation but my wife would want one and then of course end tables and lamps.  Yeah, we have three folding chairs and a television that is small on a broken down stand.  I feel we will have started to have some prosperity when our living room reflects it.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading – 1 hour per day.
  4. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Empty In Box
  6. Financial Transaction Input

Solid here and I am working on making sure things get done each day.  At the end of the week, how many times I skip something is reported and I eventually want zero there for everything.  As it is I am 85% consistent.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Graduate with Political Science Degree in December 2018.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of January 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

Now that my goals have a little more specifics, I feel better about them.  I can see something measurable and I have deadlines.  #1 is more important to me than anything and so I am thinking on how to do that better.  We have improved  a lot but there is still a lot of ways to go. The deadline on my Bucket List is pivotal and a game changer.  Hopefully #2 and #3 will resolve themselves in a few months.

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

It all comes down to one thing really – making more money.  Hopefully that will be the case in the next few months.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Religion and Leadership

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Introduction:

If there has been one thing I have learned in the last few month’s it is that people for some reason trust a person who is more religious than one who is not.  I am not sure what the congregation reacted the strongest to when I left my last church, the fact that I had an emotional affair, or that I left the faith.  I think if had been just the first I might have gotten off with lesser consequences from them but the notion that I, a pastor, had a crisis of faith seemed to bother them more than the affair.  At least for some.

There is a prevailing notion that a religious leader is more honest and truthful than one who is not. We see it in politics every year as one candidate or another with come out and declare their faith, quote from the Bible or declare how their faith in God has made them a better candidate than the other one.

I know for myself I have noted a change in how people perceive what I say.  I even had one guy say my opinion was now more invalid because I no longer had faith.  So much for basing assessment of validity on reason and the rules of logic.  The truth is while we may gravitate to religious leaders, they my be even more damning as far as leadership direction and motivation than their non-religious counterparts.

Does being religious make a person a better leader or just a more devious one? One that uses the politics of religion to get votes and support.  To the wolves and ravens:

Needs (Geri):

Does a good leader need to be religious?  I am not sure high ethics and morality are found in being religious. I mean even in Christianity, the ethics of Christians can get inconsistent and even diabolical.  The Calvinist doctrine of election is most certainly something that led to the American notion of manifest destiny that probably single-handed was the most responsible philosophy that lead to the western expansion of the United States and the wiping out of the ‘non-elect’ Native Americans.  Not exactly a positive high ethical moment when you use faith to justify genocide and theft. I don’t think there is any need for a leader to be religious at all because their religion being a force for good or bad really can depend on the religion and its worldview.

Wants (Freki):

Do we then still want a leader to be religious? I guess that would depend on who you are.  Christians want Christian leaders; Muslims want Islamic leader, etc.  Why? Because then those groups know their values have a better chance of being respected.  The problem is this same issue becomes a way of excluding other faiths and systems of understanding the world. It should also be noted that religion more often than not causes people to believe things about reality that are not true and for that to affect public policy is dangerous.  People want religious leaders because they want to push that particular faith’s agenda, not because being religious makes a leader a better or more sound one.

Reason (Huginn):

My problem with bringing reason into this discussion is that leadership and following one often has much more to do emotion.  Very few honestly assess a leader for their leadership qualities.  Reason actually tells us that people are stupid and follow people because those people share the same associations with them. Even of that person’s character is suspect, they will still follow them because they are ‘one of us’.

 

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Donald Trump and evangelical Christians are a classic case in point. During the primaries Ben Carson supporters were basing Trump as immoral due to his past associations with Democrats and the fact he was divorced a remarried several times.  There was also the fact that he had affairs while he was married.  As an example of Christian moral character, Donald Trump was and is not the best, Yet, the moment it was clear he was the candidate of choice, they flipped and started saying what a godly Christian man he was.  Yeah, evangelicals being hypocrites once again is not new, but this was the most blatant flip-flop I had ever seen and I was still a minister at the time.

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From a reason standpoint being religious is the reasonable thing to do if you want religious people to blindly follow you, so Trump immediately made a show of getting prayed for and quoting the Bible.  He was elected with a majority of Evangelical support.  So it gets you elected but it’s obvious that being religious also gets people to leave their ethical standards to vote for you.

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Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom when it looks at history cannot support the notion that a leader being a zealous religious devotee is a good idea. Religion has been used to justify more wars, genocides, rapes and other things no rational caring person would consider good.  It takes religion to make otherwise good people do evil things.  Give such a person power and you have magnified the evil that he can make good people do. Power in the wrong hands is already dangerous, religious zealots in leadership magnify this a hundred fold.

Conclusion:

I want to make it clear  here, I am not really saying you can’t be in leadership and be religious.  I am saying that probably given that we don’t need a leader to be religious to be effective, nor is it always wanted. Reason and wisdom say that it actually might not be  good idea for a leader to be a zealot religiously in order to be fair to people of all faiths or those who lack faith at all.

I want to make it also clear Trump’s morality is not the issue here with me.  I really don’t care as long as a leader is effective what his bedroom habits are.  This issue for me is the danger of those who are religious who follow him, like the Evangelicals in how simply because a man quotes the Bible and bows his head in prayer, he must be godly. Therefore those same Evangelicals will follow him to damnation with the country and liberty as collateral damage.  It might actually be more damning to freedom and liberty for a leader to be religious in truth.

Personally, I have found it interesting that people challenge the truth of what I say these days far more.  Now if this was purely about lies told in the past, i could understand it to an extent.  But it seems to be more than that.  I am not ‘one of us’ with a lot of people anymore and so the tribalism of life comes in more fully. The real funny part is I have actually gotten more honest in the last few months than I have been in a long time.  So much so, some people don’t like it.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – My Bohemian Rhapsody

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody last night with my daughter.  She became a 1980s music fan early on and so she definitely has a bridge between herself and her two parents that her two brothers do not have.  Although I do believe both my sons appreciate Bohemian Rhapsody as a song.  I can say that watching that movie with her is an experience I will never forget. My little girl is all grown up, but for a couple hours, it was just my little girl, me and the band Queen.

Freddie Mercury is one of those legends of music so powerful that even to today people listen to his songs and love them.  Queen was one of those bands that defied genres and still managed to do every single song thy did with skill, style and power.  I was a devoted Christian when Freddie died and all my Bible College friends were saying he was roasting in hell because of AIDS and homosexuality.  Peer pressure says that I had to agree with them to avoid scrutiny, but in one private moment I shed a few tears at the loss of Freddie Mercury.  Some people are bright stars that burn out way too quickly and Freddie Mercury was one of them.  Bohemian Rhapsody remains one of my favorite songs to this day along with tons of others from Queen.

Queen songs have these things called lyrics.  Real deep lyrics.  They also have something that is missing in a lot of others these days – talent that can’t be faked or altered in the studio.  It was one take after another until they got it right.  No auto tune, not electronic alteration.  Just guys with their instruments and voices played and sung well.  I miss that.

The movie ends with the Live Aid Concert that was probably the best concert of Queen’s career and probably the last time people saw the full showman that was Freddie. After that they did many great concerts but that one stands as the moment Queen ruled the world of rock and roll and Freddie was a living legend.  I can’t tell you how the human moment touched me once again and probably deeper.  When I first saw Live Aid as a teenager in high school, I watched it on MTV live and thought what a great moment in time.  Now that I know more fully the human struggle that it took for that moment to take place, I appreciate it even more.   I still miss Freddie.  He is someone I would have definitely liked to meet.

For me though such movies are a double edged sword.  They bring out my emotions and they cause me to do a lot of reflection.  Freddie made his mark because he insisted on what he wanted and fought for it.  He fought a lot with himself but he also in the end was both at peace with who he was and what he was doing. I want that and I don’t think I have ever completely had it. I have compromised a lot because greater things were at stake at times.  But this movie and Freddie Mercury have me thinking about living life without regrets and without compromise.  I want my Live Aid moment like Freddie had.  I don’t know what that would be for me but I want it and I don’t want to compromise to get it.

The problem with the past is it is something we edit and find the good or the bad moments rise to the top and every thing else fades away.  Bohemian Rhapsody the movie brought out several good moments for me but all of them are in the past and I want some more in the future.  It’s been a hard sleepless evening. Whether that is good or bad I guess I will wait and see. But my sadness is coupled with a longing to see Bohemian Rhapsody played out in my own life. A hunger and desire is building in me and I am sure the movie and those memories had a lot to do with it.

I don’t know if they will ever read this, but to the people who made the movie Bohemian Rhapsody – thank you.  If there was ever a life that needed to have a movie about him, its Freddie Mercury.

I also want to thank my daughter for taking her old man to see it.  Thank you, Bug.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!