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Finally Home (This Blog’s Future)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

I have been out for a while but that is been because I have been moving from Texas to Michigan and that has occupied most of my time. I made the long drive back home over Freya’s Day and Sif’s Day (Friday and Saturday). I pretty much had to deal with things like being in my son’s house the last couple of days, so finally, here I am with enough time to write and a good wifi connection to do so. Odin’s avatar has returned to the north and planted his feet in the snow (literally). Now I need to discuss the future of this blog.

I have long had a problem with trying to journal offline. The Grey Wayfarer has been that for me on many occasions. I am not much of a secret thoughts journal person. But here there is the additional problem of inspiration. Sticking with it and doing boring things to get good results has been my problem. I have looking for ways to be a person who journals because I know that leads to better results as a person. The facts are pretty clear on this. Then I did a simple search of how to be more effective at journaling and got some good ideas. The ones I think I am going to implement here are: 1) Write what you think/feel that day. 2) Find the best time to journal for you. 3) You need some things that are consistent but don’t make a huge to-do list. A short that is actually finished is better than a long list where you don’t do much.

How does this affect this blog?

  1. I am not going to have a set list of what I a going to write that day. I am going to try to write each day, but what I write will, for the most part, be varied except for what I am going to talk about in a minute that will appear at the end of every blog. But it might be a poem, a part of a short story, or just some thoughts about a certain subject. But it will be what is on my mind instead of trying to force a certain schedule.
  2. My best time to journal is actually right away in the morning. The first thing I do that day tends to be the best thing. It also is important for another reason.
  3. I think my problem with my to-do list is that I always make it too long. I think it is probably going to make it better if I focus on 2-3 things and make sure they get done than any other way. For this blog, it means that at the end of each article for the day I will post the To-Do List from the previous day to see how I did, but then make the one for that day as well.

I hope this makes this journal more effective at the one thing I need the most, establishing a sense of purpose for myself, and chronicling my journey as The Grey Wayfarer.

Thanks to all of you that follow me through thick and thin. You keep me hopeful.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The New Year: “Be It Resolved…”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not hold much to New Year’s Resolutions. I do however believe in a quarterly assessment of my goals and vision for myself. If the new year is valuable to me it is in the assessment of progress and a change of course that is planned. A course correction and seeing I am completely off course, time to chart from where I am at to where I would like to be next year. I think this year I will head in the direction of ‘be it resolved by the end of 2023, I will…” Then list the needed things to change.

1 – Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, my morning routine will be well established.” My routine every morning will help with a lot of my coping mechanisms. In fact, most of it is a list of my coping mechanisms in action. 1) Get Up Early and Make Bed, 2) Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues (5 min), 3) Full Body Stretch, 4) Weight Lifting, 5) Good Breakfast, 6) Hygiene Routine, 7) Get Dressed, 8) Reading – 3 chapters, 9) Write – Rough Draft or Edit and Post for the Blog. Yes, I will be writing every other day from now on. The main focus here is me and keeping my depression from hitting me by keeping myself healthy and mentally focused.

2. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will return to Michigan. I need to get back to a place where my depression bothers me less. It is closer to family and hiking, camping, etc. I love. Michigan people are my people. Houston just incites my depression. too much

3. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will change careers from teaching to something less stressful and just as or more lucrative. I need to finish my contract, but after that, I am done. This means everything currently must be up to snuff as far as credentials, professional development, training, etc. Then on to what? I don’t know that yet. Kind of like returning to the land you left to find out what has changed that you can take advantage of. I guess part of the challenge will be the discovery.

4. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will more actively pursue my new love – my shieldmaiden – if she will have me. I need to find her first. But something tells me the way to attract such a woman would be simply to be the best man I can be and see who is attracted to that. I think the only thing I am going to do here is, move to Michigan and then just be me. I do think I am going to be growing a full beard. Something like the gentleman below but my coloring will be different. Going to make myself into the healthiest, most masculine, and the sexiest old man I can be and see which female warrior is attracted to that. Time for this Odin avatar to find his Frigg.

5. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will be at peace with myself in better ways. 1) I need to write beyond the blog., 2) I need to find that outlet I need to be a voice. The Rabyd Atheist was my pulpit for a couple years, but I stopped because I realized how dangerous it is to have social media career and be a teacher. I actually am taking a bit of risk even with this blog. This is probably one other good reason to change to something that does not have that risk. 3) Have paid off as much debt as possible by the end of the year. The move is going to take money, but I think most of the small bills will be gone by February, and then it is my car. If I move back to Michigan with nothing but student loans, I will be in good shape.

So there it is – my five – “Be it resolved”. Should be an interesting year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Archiving the Past

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

I suppose one of the most notable changes to the blog at this point is that I have archived a lot of the pages into the “Grey Wayfarer Archive”. The point of this is to put all the past aside and look at what I want to do now. The pages at the top of the blog may change but I don’t want to forget where I have been. There are a couple survivors in my page filing system.

The first is “The Grey and the Wayfarer Posts”. It chronicles my battle with depression and so it is probably the best thing to keep up there as a reminder of where I have come from. I also plan on writing more of these so having it front and center is probably a good thing.

The second is “Skald Tales and Poems”. This is where all my creative work is displayed and it’s more of a quick way to reference it all when I need to. I plan on doing some creative writing and it will still find its way here. This is also where the reader can peruse my creative work for their enjoyment.

The rest has found its way into “The Grey Wayfarer Archive”. I want to save this stuff but I want to do things differently for the blog this time around. The purpose is clear to me. I am using this stuff as the roots of a large more expansive tree. I hope.

My main point is to keep the name but have a somewhat fresh start when it comes to how I organize my new content. My struggles are far different now but have the same cause. This requires a different approach when an old issue takes a new form.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Re-Imagining The Grey Wayfarer

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

I haven’t sat down and written in forever; partly, it is the lack of inspiration. The other part of it is the time excuse but that is what it is – an excuse. To be fair to myself, I am learning a new job that is time intensive. That said, I have made a point to keep working at work and home at home. So is it a time thing or a making the time thing and then being disciplined about it. The latter is more likely. Mostly, I have just been wrestling against my depression.

Yes, The Grey, my old traveling companion down the road of life. It is at least a consistent companion if nothing else. Mostly it stems from being alone most of the time. I make enough money to survive and get ahead on paying debts but not much after that. I spend a lot of time at home alone. I thus do a lot of thinking -gasp – and that is a dangerous pastime as everyone knows. I am wrestling mostly with my future choices. What do I want to be?

I was the Rabyd Atheist for a while but the thought that kept running through my head was “is this what I want to define me?” I now think while I remain an atheist with a great deconversion story, I want that to be it. There is more to me than being an atheist and I want to search that out what that might be.

I am a social studies teacher in high school, but that is losing its allure as well. I think after so long as being the guy who called the shots, I don’t see that as often as I feel every time I turn around someone is joggling my elbow. Teaching is a craft to be sure but I find it time-consuming and frustrating for the above-stated reason. Honestly, I would rather e writing and hiking somewhere. Is it possible to make a living with some other job and still have time for the things I enjoy? It’s something I need to research.

As to this blog, I am Re-Imagining it to be something else. I still follow pagan philosophy and the Nine Noble Virtues. The issue is the application for me these days. Putting things into practice. So perhaps It is time to journal on these efforts again. We will see. In the meantime, you can see that I am still around and alive and well, despite the Grey.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Changing the Rotation

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

I want to write more fiction on this blog, but I also don’t want to lose the journal aspect of it. In order to do this, I think a new rotation might be in order where I go back and forth to make sure I get the things I want. So let’s see what we can do.

  1. Routine Check-In: A post to check in on my habits and goals and whether or not I am making Progress
  2. Poetry Day – Write a Poem.
  3. Norse Mythology Post
  4. Grey Wayfarer Pub Post
  5. Nine Noble Virtues Post
  6. Fiction Post – I haven’t decided yet what to do, but if all else fails I can do another Pub Post.
  7. Love, Sex, and Relationships Post
  8. Same as #6

This adds two more days of fiction writing at the expense of a journal post. It also doesn’t fit into a nice seven-day rotation but so what? Tomorrow I am going to begin with Number 4, and go from there.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“They Call Me ‘The Bartender'” – The Grey Wayfarer Pub – Episode 1

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Episode 1 – They Call Me ‘The Bartender’

They call me “The Bartender”

It’s not a title I just have because I have served a few drinks to customers over the years. That’s true, but it is far more than that. It’s also my codename. I earned it by running a cover business for The Silver Shields for roughly five years. I served drinks and provided support for operations in the city I had been residing in at the time. It was a wild time of fighting vampires, werewolves, and any other supernatural thing that crossed my path. I should say ‘our’ path. I wasn’t alone.

The pub was a magical nexus built with its apex at a large tree that happened to be the home of a dryad. I made peace with her and the pub was built up around her. This of course attracted many different entities of a magical nature. Pixies, dwarves, elves, and humans with the magical talent to name just a few. Including my two wives Tequila and Constance.

Tequila was my very first barmaid and eventually, I won her heart (or she mine, I am never sure on that point). I was already married to Constance, but it took her being infected with vampirism and her subsequent cure to start seeing things as they really were. She changed her attitude about Tequila and let me marry her as well. Eventually, Tequila and Constance became a thing as well and we were one happy Trios family.

But the pub was under constant attack, and I moved my family, including the little dog Pint, out of the pub to a house just outside the city, This proved to be a mistake as I found we lost significant magical strength away from the Nexus. What happened after we moved is too horrific for me to recount even now, but in the end, all that matters is I did indeed kill all the bad guys but lost both my wives in the process. Pint was a fine miniature beagle and being magical himself, he was the main reason I was still breathing. He moved back to the pub and I was left in the ashes of my home with two dead wives.

I guess you could say I went nuts after that. I had what could only be described as a nervous breakdown and after a year I got back on my feet and the Shields gave me a further leave of absence. Pint, at that point, went with me and we spent our days lounging and reading and Pint having his bowl of beer three times a day. It’s been a couple more years and I guess the headshrinkers feel I am ready to go back to the war.

The problem is at present the old pub is peaceful as a lamb. There haven’t been any attacks on it for quite some time. It’s like the forces of darkness have conceded that point. If so, then the current staff can handle things and my boss at the Silver Shields offered me an alternative position given my experience and skill set. To start over with a new pub in a new place. I took it without hesitation.

My reasoning was that I don’t know how good it would be for my sanity to go back. Tequila was a part of that place almost from day one. The blood, sweat, and tears I spent in that place connected it to me forever, but I knew going back was impossible. I bent down and scratched Pint’s head. He whined,. The problem for him is that his magic is connected to the old pub. He simply wouldn’t be of use to me in a new place. I hugged him and he licked me sorrowfully.

“It’s OK boy. You are your own dog, and nothing is forever.”

Pint understands me and wagged his tail one more time and then after giving me a parting lick trotted off. I don’t know if I will see him again. I am not sure what his motive for going back is. It could be the desire to have his warm bed back by the fire or he wants to look up the barmaids’ skirts. I know he will miss me, but he was at the old pub long before I arrived and I suspect he will be there long after everyone is gone. I suspect Pint is immortal, but don’t quote me.

My real problem was the fact my trade as the bartender disguised my true skill – alchemy. I was the one that created the cure for vampirism, but it only was a temporary fix. The vampire virus mutated and developed immunity. Science overcame theology as magical biology overcame the faith magic. Now vampirism is back and I am going to be hard-pressed against it. Why? Because I don’t have faith magic anymore to fuel my alchemy. I need something new and right now I have no clue what it could be.

This means several goals are in front of me and I need as soon as possible to get to them. 1) I have to examine the new pub the Silver Shields purchased for me for my base of operations. 2) I have to get at least basic recon and intelligence about the area and what the basic supernatural problems are and 3) I have to meet my contact in the area with the Silver Shields and 4) I need to start experimenting with new forms of magic to fuel my alchemical concoctions. On top of this, I had a new apartment to furnish. Lot’s to do but in truth, there were no time limits as of yet.

Author’s Notes:

It has been a long time since I have taken up a digital pen, dipped it in digital ink, and then put it on digital paper. For the last year or two, I have struggled with inspiration and motivation to write anything. Heartbreak will take you only so far in the writing discipline. Once rage, sorrow, and sadness fade; there is simply no motivation worth writing for. There needs to be something positive to inspiration as a core to writing, or you basically begin to see your writing tapper off with nothing for fuel to feed the furnace. While I search for a love that will inspire me to write out of that love (aka my muse), I simply need to realize that emotionally I am a better human being when I write. Even if I have to force myself to do it.

The inspiration for this series is my old theology pub series on my blog All Things Rabyd. I last wrote on that series on July 15th, 2016. It’s been a long time. The idea was to allegorize concepts into an interesting story. The world was that of urban fantasy with the occasional side trip into horror and science fiction. The pub was a place n my own mind where the characters and plot were free to do anything. It was a long-running drama series that ran from February 7th, 2013 to July 15, 2016.

A lot has changed since that last episode. Mostly Me. I am no longer a believer in Christ having now the opinion that until someone shows me good evidence to believe in anything spiritual I will remain a skeptic and an atheist. That said, the concept of a pub where the characters, places, and events are allegories of thoughts and feelings I am still having still appeals to me. It will also be good practice. The original pub allowed me to explore genres of writing, create new characters, and explore various types of stories. This one will do the same and the fact is without the worry of which Christian sensibilities I might offend, I can explore some genres that were previously unwise to pursue.

But mostly this is the first step to bringing writing back into my sphere. I hope you enjoy it. Without further delay – I present the series – The Grey Wayfarer Pub

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Weekly Writing Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

Today I want to start with a weekly routine that I will probably run for a month to see how it goes. I am keeping with the Norse Mythology Theme and trying to make the posts fit the day.

Sol’s Day Reflection: On Sol’s Day I want to engage in reflection on my life. Where am I and what do I want to do. Much like cleaning my apartment, I want to clean my mind. Check my bearings, correct course, and get moving again.

Mani’s Day Poetry: I think this would be a good day to write a poem each week.

Tyr’s Day Norse Mythology: I think this is also an excuse to read more but I want to go through the stories of Norse Mythology and reflect on them.

Odin’s Day Nine Noble Virtues: I want to write down my thoughts on the Nine Noble Virtues on Odin’s Day.

Thor’s Day Tales: I am not sure if this is going to be a short story or a serial where, like a comic book, I just start with a story and a character or two and just keep going. I might mix and match and have several stories going at once. I guess this is really open but the point is to write some fiction.

Freya’s Day Love, Sex, and Relationships: I can really write freely on this subject now and I think I am going to. I mean I am a bachelor now so no wife to offend and being a pagan atheist I really have no church to offend. So let’s be real about the subjects of Love, Sex, and Relationships

Sif’s Day Reflection: Much like Sol’s Day except this reflection will be looking back at the past week and seeing I made progress. If the results match the plan that I had.

Hopefully, this will keep me at least grinding on my writing even if it isn’t as inspired as I would like.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Writing from the Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

As I enter my second week of writing every day, I am trying to find my groove. Part of that has always been to have a setlist of topics. A Weekly Routine or writing with each day being about writing on that topic on that day. To be honest, this does help me, but it sometimes gets in the way of writing from the heart. If a topic doesn’t vibe with me that day, it will be choppy.

I have spoken before about finding my Muse and I still recognize my need for a woman in my life for this to be a supercharged inspiration. I know it will be mIss right when she inspires my best writing. In the meantime, I have been reflecting on what I like about women in general. There are some obstacles to this like being recently divorced, experiencing modern feminism in a lot of women, and just generally being more traditionally-minded (not completely) about women.

So having a set routine and trying to find my groove is a good option. I just don’t want to stop writing from the heart. Routine being a tool to keep you writing is one thing, but if you feel inspired to write on something else, you should probably break the routine and do that. A routine should be guidelines, not actual rules.

In the coming week, I will be thinking about my Routine. But I also will keep writing from the heart s much as possible.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Grey and the Wayfarer – Time to Take a Walk

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!!!

I have been away for a while and I can’t say that after looking at my excuses for not writing that they are good ones. I will only say that I have been keeping my life on the grindstone and The Grey is a motherfucker. This issue is that a lot of major changes were taking place and; to be blunt, my muse was running out of steam, and I didn’t have a new one.

The Changes in my life were that I pretty much started proclaiming that I am an atheist (a pagan one as far as ethics) but also after 32 years my wife and I decided to part ways. I am not going to go too much into it, but the result was me putting all my worldly possessions in my Jeep Patriot and riding away on July 30 to Texas to take a teaching job in a Houston Area high school teaching social studies. I have actually found a good replacement for what I lost as a pastor, but also I can now at the end of the day leave work at work and start enjoying life. My only real battles are usually homesickness, loneliness, and depression (The Grey).

My Muse for a long time was the grief of lost love over those people who have read this blog known as Miss Salty. It’s not so much that I don’t look at my heart in that pot and don’t find a scar and a little pain. Time heals but it doesn’t heal everything. That said, the fuel that grief gave me for my writing seems to have dried up. It always seems that I need the feminine to write and I’ve struggled to know what to write about.

A little while ago though I realized that one of my coping mechanisms against The Grey is writing. I don’t; cope well when my feelings are not being written down and No matter how I try to a journal offline, it doesn’t work. It’s the notion of public consumption that makes it feel like sharing with someone else. That’s the motivation.

I don’t know what the future holds other than I have made the commitment to start writing every day again. It might be a journal entry like this one, a short story, or a poem or something. The main thing is to write and thus start taking a walk again into my feelings and thoughts. I am also going to keep these short, so that’s all for today.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Circle Routine Focused on Progress” – The Rabyd Skald

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

The real problem is now how to take four simple goals and make daily progress on the whole thing.  This has in the past always come down to routine. In his case through the idea is to do the routine with reward at regular steps so it is a little different.  No workday or rest day routine here.  The only difference between a workday and a off day will be that I should accomplish more on my off days simply because I have more time. 

The way it works is cyclical working though the routine and then starting over when it is completed.  What keeps it moving is the time or more concrete goal for each step when it is done to move on to the next thing. My priority starts with health, then career, then writing, then my YouTube channel, the rinse and repeat.

  1. Full Body Stretch / Meditation – Max – once per day.
  2. Walking – 30 minutes – conditional good weather, trails are clear. Max once per day.
  3. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  4. Certification Work – 3 hours.
  5. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  6. Blog Article – write, edit, post – Max four times a week. Posting will be spread out across the week but I will probably write a post on that very soon.
  7. Read 1 chapter of a book.
  8. Write 1000 words.
  9. Relaxing – 1 hour
  10. YouTube Skills development – 2 hours.
  11. Relaxing – 1 hour.
  12. Personal Business – empty inboxs.

There are a couple things that will interrupt this routine because they are conditional to the situation. The routine goes to pause and after they get done, it starts back up again.

  1. Weightlifting – after work when I know I have time to do it and get home in time enough to hand the car off to the wife.
  2. YouTube recording – three times a week but I need no one to be home but me.
  3. Work – when I am at work the routine goes to pause mode.

The routine stops when I go to bed and starts where it left off when I get up. 

A note on nutrition. This is an all day every day issue so doesn’t fit in a routine.

Life intrudes (appointments, life events) with things that will pause this as well. The main thing is to get back at it as soon as possible.

Relaxing time can be banked.  That is saved for later.  I doubt this will happen much, but if I a making progress and enjoying that, I might skip a relax time and save it for later to be taken when I want.

I am coming up on my 52nd birthday. March traditionally has been a good start for me because of it.  Last year I was off to a great start and then COVID killed a lot of things for me.  Not this year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!