Relationships

The Rabyd Skald – The Big Picture and Depression Triggers

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

The Planning part is done.  Virtues, Routines, Goals, Plans, etc. are all finished as far as initial thoughts.  Now is the time for to get the big picture and make a final plan which is how I am going to maintain this and monitor it.  Of course this is what this blog and blogging in general is all about for me.  I have three journal posts each week and my notebook, which is how monitoring this is going to take place.  There are also adjustments that need to take place as things are crossed off my lists as accomplished and life changes from time to time. Mostly though I will be using the three A Skald’s Life posts each week to keep track of things and stay motivated. Today is the big picture of how that will work and at the end something personal because it doesn’t really fit anything else.

A Skald’s Life – Foundational – In each weeks Foundational Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Honor, Courage and Truth.  I think it is also a good place to discuss the Morning Routine, Bucket List and my Weightlifting Plan. Like all my journal posts is will start with a basic journal entry of what is going on.

A Skald’s Life – Business – In each weeks Business Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality.  I think it is a good place to discuss the Daily Routine, Goals and Budget Plan.  It also with start with a basic journal entry.

A Skald’s Life – Self – In each weeks Self Post, I will be discussing the Noble Virtues of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.  I think it is a good place to Discuss the Weekly Routine and my Nutritional Plan.  Having one less thing I will probably be looking back at the week as a whole in the basic journal entry which usually takes longer.

The last tool is my notebook which basically has check lists for the Routines and copies of the Virtues, Principles, Goals, Bucket Lists and Plans.  I keep these in front of me every day in the Morning Routine.  These Journal Entries are about marking progress.

Depression Triggers:

I know is might be strange to switch to this topic but The Rabyd Skald Posts are about what doesn’t fit into the other posts that are more standardized.  I would also say the reason I am doing all the Virtues, Goals, etc. is that it is my way of constantly combating my depression and keeping the things that trigger it at bay.  So perhaps is does fit as the overall goal of keeping myself walking through The Grey and still accomplishing what I need to accomplish – It is truly about being The Grey Wayfarer in that sense.

My depression is not as severe as many others.  I can function in the middle of it. It just makes me get moody and difficult to deal with at times.  It basically makes me feel either slightly sad or nothing.  That is I have this feeling that everything is either a waste of time and it makes me sad or I feel nothing at all.  It’s the nothing that bothers me more than the sadness.

I have spent the last couple months really trying to identify things that trigger it.  I am pretty sure I have discovered some of them.  I am not sure how to combat some of these as there is no way to not discuss some of them or avoid some of them.  In fact I am not sure if the way to deal with these triggers is to avoid them at all or actually discuss them.  It’s at times like these I miss The Rabyd Microphone, because I wouldn’t be hesitating about talking about things.  These days I have others to think about, so I play things close to the vest a little more and discuss them with my wife and our marriage counselor more.

My Depression Triggers:

  1. Anger – After I calm down it turns to The Grey.  The real problem is after this summer I have much more to get angry about, so it comes up more often.
  2. Talking about certain people – I lost a lot of friends but to be honest when you make a serious mistake and friends abandon you, then you at least find out who your real friends were.  The one’s that just left or took off, yeah, fuck ’em. Less baggage now. That’s not the issue.  It’s the people who didn’t just abandon you, they stabbed you as they left.  They took advantage of your vulnerability or openness to them and they left you when you needed them most or even worse betrayed you.  Yeah, those people make me angry or sad and then The Grey follows.
  3. When I don’t feel a love connection.  I know it sounds stupid or maybe sappy but love connections fight my depression. They have to be maintained so my wife and I cuddle and talk a lot whenever possible. I make a point of it; to keep it going so when The Grey comes it helps me get over it quicker.  It could be said though that if I haven’t maintained my love connections, The Grey comes more often when I am alone.  I am alone a lot as an introvert,  People drain my energy over time and I need a recharge by getting alone. But there is a great deal of difference in being alone and feeling lonely.

The past is a relentless bastard even though it cannot be changed.  It still takes a toll on you if you let it.  I have found the only real way to combat it is look to the future to be better. To keep walking.  Hopefully from time to time you stand in the sunlight.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Halloween (Samhain)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Every once in a while I make the statement that I am a Pagan or have Pagan tendencies.  I have to confess the main reasons for this are spirituality and  holidays.  I suppose this post is more for educational purposes than it is expression of any beliefs I might have; but I do embrace the idea that a truer understanding in the realm of spirituality might be our hearts reaching out to the world around us, and paganism has that in abundance.

By the next Odin’s Eye we will be past Halloween and so I want to talk about the holiday before it happens.  I must freely confess now that my favorite holiday of the year is actually Halloween.  I never could say that because I was a Christian and minister, but now I can.  I love the whole thing.  The dressing up in costumes, the carving pumpkins, trick or treat, the whole darkness and death of it.  It reminds us all things die and when it comes to the seasons this is particularly true.  In a sense Halloween is the celebration of the end of the harvest season and the end of the year for pagans.

Now Christians tend to make anything Satanic if it doesn’t line up with their beliefs but Halloween and Samhain are hardly Satanic.  The real problem is that Christians also steal a lot from pagans and the fact that All Saints Day is November 1 is no accident because Halloween is the big day for pagans.  It’s about countering it with a Christian holiday. But Christians steal a lot more than that and holidays for Christianity tend to be near to pagan ones and even use pagan symbols but Christianize them.

That said, I like the basic concepts of paganism’s spirituality because it creates a very individualized belief system to the person while at the same time allows community spirit. At the same time, it has aspects of religion that I pretty much as a deist reject.

Faith:

No I don’t really have faith in what is commonly called Wicca or Paganism on that side of the aisle.  When I say I have pagan tendencies, I mean I draw my spirituality from looking at the world around me and my inward self.  This means paganism has many schools of thought and most of them have the same religious nature as the monotheistic faiths.  I have faith in my abilities to advance myself and be in tune with the world around me.  That’s about it, but it lines up with paganism’s basic foundational tenets.

Religion:

Halloween for the Pagan marks the end of the year and starts the new year with the season of Samhain.  The beginning of the long dark period before rebirth and renewal in the spring.  Different pagan groups view this differently but Halloween was a celebration originally and Christians are probably the most guilty of trying to add sinister qualities to it to discredit it.  Mostly though it is a time and day to honor the past and past people. To honor what has gone on before.

Theology:

Theologically speaking as a deist who believes in something; but as an agnostic I don’t know what it is, I think paganism is more honest about looking at what we know for sure and honoring it.  What can we know for sure?  The people who have gone before us that have blazed the path so we are where we are today.  Honoring the dead and their work and sacrifices is something we can truly honor and know we are honoring something that is indeed real.

Spirituality:

I suppose my most spiritual moment this last summer came while standing at the graveside of my father.  Given all that I was going through, I was wondering what he would have said or done at that moment.  I have to admit that it was there at his graveside I began to realize some sense of reality of what I was doing and perhaps honoring my commitments.  Mostly to my wife.  I still struggled after that but that moment left me pondering my life and in the end became the seed of the motivation that caused me to consider reconciliation with my wife.  Perhaps there is far more spiritual truth to the honoring those who have gone before. All religions seem to have elements of this and perhaps it is one of the more valuable contributions of religion in general.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Weightlifting Plan

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

I must pause here and reflect a bit before I get into my actual plan.  This has been without a doubt one of the most stressful times I have had running from the end of May until the end of August.  It was in many ways up and down like the worlds most twisty roller coaster and just as friendly to my insides.  Through all that, I have been able to maintain a couple of things that kept me from going totally nuts.  One of them was weightlifting.

Like Henry Rollins says – 200 lbs. is 200 lbs.  The Iron is a reference point, beacon and the real deal.  There is no falsity to iron. In my life, the iron has never left me, disappointed me, run out on me or freaked out on me. I found this summer the one place of calm and steadiness was the gym and my truest friend the iron.

My weightlifting plan revolves around quarters.  October through December is the fourth quarter so I am coming to the end of my current year cycle. Next Year is kind of up in the air because I plan on looking for a new job and that might take me in various directions.  It’s too bad because after three and a half years at my current gym, I have come to love the place.  Practicality might dictate something closer to work instead of school and that means changing gyms.  This might cause me to change plans but I doubt it as I wouldn’t consider a gym that didn’t have the equipment I need, unless I have no choice.

In planning I have also had to consider some injuries of the past.  Two years ago I had a repair on a high hernia which required a fairly lengthy recovery from a lifting standpoint.  More recently I have had to deal with tennis elbow in my left elbow. It’s these more lengthy, non-life threatening events that have caused me to rethink an old saying – ‘you need to train to train.”  That means more abdominal work and forearm work.  Stuff a lot of people neglect but I can’t afford to do that anymore.  I want to keep lifting for a long time so injury prevention training is part of the deal.  That’s why the split is longer with five days but I only lift on four days a week so recovery is not an issue.  It’s also why every day now starts with a full stretching routine in the mix.

Everything I do is focused on muscle growth or endurance.  Strength comes with that but it’s not a focus. As I age, muscle loss is more of a problem and I want to fight that.  I will however start with strength because my bucket list has some items I need to work on. So January will be more strength focused with probably a 4 x 5 set/rep range. April to June I will be back to hypertrophy with 4 x 8, July to September 4 x 10, October to December – 4 x 8 once again.

My split hasn’t changed all year other than I added a day – The Core Day which is about abdominal work.  Day 1 – Chest/Delts, Day 2 – Back/Traps, Day 3 – Legs, Day 4 – Arms, Day 5 – The Core. I am hoping once school gets done I can go back to five days a week but right now I four is enough with one day getting a break each week.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

There is always some argument about whether honor is an internal thing or external thing.  I say internal because quite frankly not every one is going to like you and just because some people dishonor you, it doesn’t mean you have it give them credence.  What should mean something to you is your feeling of self value and if that’s good you are good. It’s why some people can disrespect me and I can ignore them or tell them to fuck off.

I am struggling with being positive.  Right now mental fatigue is very high and what I really want is a whole week off from everything.  Not going to happen, so need to find a way to get more motivation to get stuff done and that starts with being positive.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I say fuck off to a lot of people who call me a coward.  Sometimes the right thing is to walk away and that is what I am trying to do.  The same time, I feel the scales of justice need to be balanced, but I can be patient about that.

Image may contain: 1 person, beard and text  Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I spend a lot of time in silence these days.  It’s better than lying to people who want to know how I am.  Mostly, people need to mind their own business.  I also would say I don’t tell to many people what’s going on with me, because my trust level of others has taken a nose dive in the last few months.  I trust very few these days and most of them are family and even then advice is to be wary of everyone.  Some don’t like the truth, so there is that.

Image may contain: one or more people and textSchool is OK.  I get by but I am waiting for that spark that ignites me to pursue knowledge at a high level and I think that is starting to happen.  We shall see.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Of Wolves and Ravens” – How This Works

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

In my introduction last week I probably rushed it a little in one factor of how this “Of Wolves and Ravens” actually works as far as a philosophy.  My main thing will be to take an issue (either political, economic, social or even personal) and working it through the philosophy summed up in the statement – “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens First”.

My point is doing this is to basically create an exercise to engaging this new philosophy for myself.  Hopefully in working through this philosophy, I can provide some insight that you the reader might find beneficial as well.  Today I want to basically expand this philosophy a little with some examples so you the reader can understand what I am talking about in general.  Next week I will pick our first issue.  Each issue will be boiled down to the what we need and want but then engaging some reason and wisdom what is the best course of action.  I am going to use the general topic of Sex as an example.

Needs (Geri): When looking at the need side of things we have to ask ourselves what is needed here?  In the case of Sex, people as a race need to continue.  The real need of sex is procreation.  It might be argued that the entertainment value of sex is also a need but the issue of a need from a human point of view is about survival. Sex allows the human race to survive and go on.  Sex needs to take place for this to happen. If we look at organisms and their needs water, food and procreation top the list for all living things and for humans one of these is procreation and sex is what we do to make that happen. No one, but the most extreme view would argue that the wolf of need for procreation needs to be fed.

Wants (Freki): We humans though like sex and want it.  While some people want it for the procreative action as people do want to have children, the main thing about want and sex is that we enjoy the pleasure of it.  Sex in and of itself is not evil or bad, so us wanting it is not wanting something bad either.  The pleasure of sex is something good, we could conclude as it makes people feel better about life. It is OK to feed Freki when it comes to sex as it fills a desire and there is nothing inherently wrong with fulfilling a desire. It’s OK to feed the Wolves.  It’s OK to have sex because it is enjoyable and it leads to the continuation of the human race.

Reason (Huginn): The real problem though is we must first listen to the Ravens before we make that choice. The one thing we need to think about is what are the consequences of sexual activity?  Well this probably where I would note that ‘Sex’ as a topic might be a little broad but let’s continue.  Mostly the issue here is unwanted pregnancy but that goes back to wants and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).  The question of unwanted pregnancies is a large issue and involves other issues such as abortion, religion and economics but this can be curbed quite a bit in the modern world if people use effective birth control.  STDs are largely controlled by certain birth control methods but let’s be fair here – there is one benefit of sexual fidelity either abstinence or faithfulness to a single partner – the risk of STDs is near null.  Reason says that effective birth control coupled by basic fidelity and caution might kick the two major concerns about sex out of the picture. at least for the most part.

Wisdom (Muninn): On a wisdom side of things, we deal with relationships.  In western society it is a rare man or woman who doesn’t have a problem with jealousy.  Rape is also an issue here because the issue of mutual consent is a Wisdom issue. Sex is not something you take from others, nor can we avoid the fact that human nature causes both men and women to eventually look for an exclusive sexual relationship.  Not all cultures are this way, so each one would have to be considered but in our society if you go sleeping around the other person is probably going to get upset and a breakup is probably in your future.  Some people can be open about this in their relationships, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule.  There are a lot of issues I could continue to talk about here and I can definitely say that the subject of sex is too broad a topic to handle in one post, but I hope you get the idea.

Conclusion:

At this point I might wrap things up with a conclusion.  Mostly when it comes to the subject of sex, my advice would be to be safe, respectful and communicate so boundaries are understood. There is a lot more here but for example purposes, I hope it helps you understand what “Of Wolves and Ravens” is going to be about.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Daily Routine

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Geri, Freki, Hugin, Munin... Valknut

Happy Moon’s Day

With my Morning Routine set up, the discussion turns to my Daily Routine.  What is the stuff I do every day?  Well, probably what I would like to see every day at this point.

Daily Routine:

  1. Blogging – the general target is to have three posts cued up in the scheduled list by day’s end and four others in the draft file in various stages of construction.
  2. Reading – 1 hour per day.  Right now this is taken up by school, but eventually I would like this to be free to read what I want.
  3. Study / Homework – 1 hour per day or until all necessary work is completed. This is currently on my list because of school.  I think it might stay after school is over because I will be using it for research or for writing things for publication.
  4. Empty In Box – I have a box on my desk that I put stuff in that requires my attention.  The goal is to have it empty at the end of every day.
  5. Financial Transaction input – I try to put all financial transactions for me and my wife in my computer each day.  It doesn’t take long.
  6. Communication / Cuddle Time – I try to do this with my wife every day for at least a half hour. Sometimes our varied schedules make this difficult.  It is actually the number one thing on this list and gets done when there is time.

None of this stuff actually takes very long other than the time limit stuff.  My goal is to have it done each day, so every day I am finished with things and making progress.  That the administration of life is kept up with every single day is the major goal here.

Mostly this is only problematic on days where I have both work and class.  On those days free time is at a premium.  Otherwise I have time to do all of it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

At work and school I guess I feel that inner sense of honor to a point.  People at both places value my contributions and that is good for my self-esteem in that sense.  Most of the challenges to honor come from my dreams and the occasional person I run into who used to greet me warmly but now shuns me.  The people who shun me are easy to deal with – 1) check them off as no longer a friend, and  2) move along treating them as someone I used to know.  Dreams are a bit harder. My recurring dream is me going about my daily business but with people who I used to know yelling at me.  They yell things at me indicating my moral failures and my short comings.  The dreams always end with them turning violent and me being the victim of a death-wound by one of them.  I usually wake up at that point.  If I dwell on this too much my honor level drops a bit.

I am starting to feel more positive about my future.  I applied for graduation this last week so that is in the works. I am feeling better about school in general although I do have some more work to do yet to catch up.  It’s close now to the end and I think I will be a better position for a better job after graduation.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

In my dreams the word ‘coward’ comes out of the mouths of some.  I don’t really get that accusation.  I simply have responded at times to what people have done to me by talking about it openly.  The coward would gossip, slander, back bite and back stab.  I don’t do those things.  I either tell people what happened from my perspective or I keep silent. I don’t feel I need to respond directly to people who in my estimation were the first ones to act in cowardice toward me.  Virtue is a two-way street and if the accusation of being a coward came from someone I consider brave, I would give it thought.  As it is, not so much.

I have an evaluation coming up at work.  I need to speak on the future with that company.  My additional problem is I need an internship. This is going to require some courage to explain to my present employer where I stand with them. If I am not going to have a good and productive future with them, then I need to move on when I can.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Honesty with others is not so great an issue as honesty with myself. I am wrestling with so much these days as far as truth with me that I have a hard time with keeping my foundation stable. These days I prefer silence and peace. If only those voices from my dreams would stop haunting me when I am awake.

I am getting ready to write my last major paper for school – My Political Science Capstone.   I am wrestling with the topic and the thesis statement.  I have permission to use this for my Health Economics Class as well.  I want this paper to reflect what I see as the truth about a health issue.  It has to have sound political science basis, economics and if I can get my international business knowledge into it as well – bonus.  It’s not just about a paper but a final reflection on what I have learned in this degree and applying it to real life. It’s about pursuing truth as well.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Also Some Writing Notes)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

I write for therapy.  I know I gave three reasons I write yesterday but the fourth reason is personal – it is therapeutic.  When I sit down and start touching keys on this keyboard, things come into focus, they become clearer.  There is meditative aspect to my writing.  The same is true when I get up in the morning and stretch, when I am in the gym lifting weights and more recently I have rediscovered that cuddling with my wife has the same effect.  The calmness and peace are the same.  Perhaps the thoughts in my head are different but I am at peace.

This is good because I still struggle with The Grey. Depression as it is more commonly known.  It takes certain triggers and sometimes I don’t see them coming.  It’s hard for me to recognize some triggers becasue the memory they might be inflaming is something I haven’t thought about for a long time.  Other times I know I am going to have to walk The Grey for a bit becasue of what happens.  I accept certain aspects of it because when some of the triggers I know exist happen, I don’t have a lot of control over them. I walk the Grey willingly and with a lot of courage.

Right now my wife has to deal with a little moodiness from time to time.  I can’t sing her praises enough.  I have done some pretty rotten things to her and yet there she is listening.  I love that about her. I don’t get it, but I thank her for it. There are of course things we are still working on.  Mostly we both don’t want to go back to how the relationship was before.  But you still have to break old habits and create new ones.  Both these things take work.

Some blog notes.  1) I am going to start dropping all posts a 9 AM except on Sunday.  That one will still fall at 10 AM.  I have personal reasons for that.  2) This week is the first week of the schedule being the way it is going to be.  It may change but right now I think it’s going to work based on what I am writing.  3) It should be noted that I try to stay three days ahead.  The reason for this is that I find if I edit a post three times, I find far fewer mistakes.  I simply cue up the post three days ahead of time and look at it every day until it drops.

I hope everyone is enjoying the new blog. I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Selfishness is Good for Everyone

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

NNV 003

“You’re being selfish” is an expression people might hear often when they are trying to do something for themselves.  When I look at the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity though its selfishness with a purpose.  All the virtues have an individual independence flavor to them but these three seem to be more inward focused with outward fruit if you understand me.  The Foundational Virtues are about all things.  The Business Virtues are outward focused with inward benefit but Self Virtues are inward focused with outward benefit.

Being focused on yourself is not necessarily selfish but if even if it is, as Ayn Rand points out in her book The Virtue of Selfishness, being selfish has a lot more benefits to others than you first realize. Those who accuse people of being selfish are often selfish themselves trying to get someone else to do something for them that benefits them.  A person who is self-reliant and focused on self does do one thing for everyone else – he is not a burden to them and their efforts.  By being self-focused, you at least don’t drag others down by being a leach on their prosperity or stealing people’s’ time, efforts or money.  There is a right kind of selfishness and it involves the Nine Noble Virtues and in particular Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.

These are Self Virtues in my mind because there is only one person who can engage them fully – self (aka me).  I am the only one who can be disciplined.  I am the only one who can get back up after every failure.  I am the one who must be faithful.  All these virtues depend on my decisions but the ones that have the most effect by realizing this is these three.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Discipline dots my life personally a lot.  I have my morning routine – get up, stretch, breakfast, pills and supplements, shower, shave, get dressed. I have my daily stuff – write a post, study, read, relax.  I have my marriage stuff – talk and cuddle for at least a half hour a day. Some discipline in my life isn’t every day – I go to work when I am scheduled, I go to class, I hit the gym to lift four days a week,  My diet is a discipline that hits me several times a day.  The point is discipline for me is pretty high and all of it is where I push myself a little further than the time before.  Without this continual being hard on myself and making myself do the right things, I become less.  With it I become more.

If I have a goal here it is to find all aspects of life where I can be disciplined, I do it.  If I ever get into a position of leadership again, discipline for whoever I am leading will be a center piece of my leadership.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

I do this pretty naturally but there are times I want to quit. Everyone has their limits but; in the end, you have to stand back up and keep moving forward.  It’s not how hard you can hit life, it how hard of a hit you can take from life, get back up and keep moving forward.  I am paraphrasing Rocky Balboa, but he is right.

Goal – Keep getting up after every failure or defeat.  It is that easy to say.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Fidelity is a struggle for me.  But not where most people think.  My marriage – yes.  I am working on that.  Family – no, not so much as I am loyal to all my kids, grand kids and my mother.  Faith – that’s a deeper question of who I should be loyal to.  The virtue says I should stay loyal to them, which I agree, I just want to make sure I am loyal to something that is actually there.  Friends – Yep, the one’s I still have left absolutely.  My country – yeah, the country of The Constitution of the United States – yep.  The bastard nation that people in power have created these days – nope.

No, those are not the real struggle: the real problem is staying loyal to myself and what I need and want for myself.  It’s hard with all these other things pulling at you, but it if you don’t handle the stuff you want and need, and guide that by reason and wisdom you are going to burn yourself out to the point you won’t be able to be loyal to others.  I can speak from experience on this one.

You really choose what you are loyal to in the end,  But once you choose, you stick with it unless the other side shows itself disloyal.

Goal – Place my fidelity in things I trust because they have shown to be loyal to me. Yep, I believe fidelity is a response as well as an action.

Summary: 

I plan on part of my life being the good kind of selfish. I plan on disciplining myself to be a better person.  I will keep getting up and I will be loyal to that I have chosen to be loyal to as long as it shows loyalty to me.

The last line actually is pretty true for all the virtues.  I mean there is great discussion about whether one needs to be truthful with someone who has shown themselves to be deceptive.  I don’t think so.  I also don’t think I should have to show hospitality to those who have not shown me hospitality in return. Virtues are only truly valuable if they are freely given and received at the same time. Otherwise those who choose to live outside of virtue and live rather in the realm of dishonor do not have to be honored in return.

Goal List:

  1. Be positive about my future
  2. Act with courage at the right time
  3. Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times
  4. Work to be self-reliant by finishing school and building my career
  5. Work with enjoyment of work itself both in school and my job.
  6. Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.
  7. Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.
  8. Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.
  9. Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The Outward Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

NNV 002

The virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness and Hospitality tend to be more outward than inward in their focus.  That is not to say they don’t have an inward quality.  They are however virtues that focus on the business of living life and how in that business of living life we interact with others.  What ideals are were pursuing in our relationships with others and how we do the business of life with them.

The three virtues together create an attitude of hard work, independence but at the same time voluntary cooperation.  There is no coercion in the Business Virtues but a freedom to act as one sees fit to work, build a life for one self and help others if one wishes.  I have found this point to resonate with my libertarian philosophy much better than most other things.  It combines well with the idea of being free, independent and charitable by choice not by force.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

From the standpoint of others, self-reliance means you are not drawing off others or leaching off others to meet your basic needs and wants.  You are taking care of these things yourself and are reliant on only yourself to meet your own needs.  This means you are not a burden to others.  You are meeting your needs.

My goal has been pretty simple here.  To be meeting my own needs for food clothing and shelter.  My wife and I have achieved that but it needs to be maintained and kept going.  The goal is independence (financial and otherwise) both now and in the future.  The next phase is a better job to do that.  The practical steps being to finish my degree and market it or once school is finished find another source of income in addition to my current job.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

I don’t have a problem working hard.  I also believe in working hard at working smart.  Being a cleaver worker is as important as being a hard worker.  Striving for efficiency as someone who has studied economics is also something I enjoy.  Work as a joyous activity in and of itself takes a little more effort on my part, but I have recently discovered that attitude makes the day go even quicker than just staying busy.  From an outward standpoint, being an industrious person commands respect in the real world.  Laziness is never respected, nor does it lead one to prosperity.

My goal here is to work hard and with enjoyment; specifically in finishing my degree and working my current job.  This kind of hearkens back to the Foundational virtues as far as the nature of the goal, but industriousness is kind of like that.  Finding and enjoying work is the key to prosperity.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Being willing to share.  Not forced but willing.  This is actually a common virtue in many religions but as a Christian I must say I neglected it quite a bit.  Things have changed a bit since I last wrote on this.  Back then I could offer a Coke, a smile and a conversation.  Advice if asked for.  The issue is willingness to share in prosperity and I would say I have achieved a measure of that.  I can now offer to the truly desperate a shared meal if you wish, but make sure you are in need and after twenty years of dealing with freeloaders, I know the difference.

My goal here is to simply stand ready to help if I can and show hospitality if I can.  Nothing more or less.

Summary:

All said this is pretty simply to say.  Work hard to be self-sufficient, and enjoy what you do, work for greater prosperity and be ready to share willfully to those that need it.  All of this is voluntary as to force people to do any of this would violate all of these virtues.  You expect them not just in yourself but in others as well.

Goal List:

  1. Be positive about my future
  2. Act with courage at the right time
  3. Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times
  4. Work to be self-reliant by finishing school and building my career
  5. Work with enjoyment of work itself both in school and my job.
  6. Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

Until the Self Virtues,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Starting with the Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

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My wife and I have been reading a book together as part of our own efforts to work on our relationship.  The book is Words Can Change Your Brain by Newberg and Andrew.  In it the authors make the observation that one of the questions we should be asking about and that is: “What is my greatest virtue?”  I found it interesting personally as I have been looking at the issues of what makes a virtue important without faith in a religion?  For me the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV) have become my code and part of my philosophy of life. I meditate on them often and so what the book was teaching and what I as doing meshed quickly.  It also changed my thinking regarding goals and how to set them.

I have often set my goals based on what roles I wanted to achieve. I guess now see this a kind of chasing titles. I am not sure this is what I want for my life as often when a title is achieved ‘then what’? It becomes a constant struggle to redefine goals.  Not that I don’t want to achieve tangible results but it seems that virtue would drive a person far more than roles as they have to be worked on every day to either grow them or maintain them.  Once a goal is achieved with virtues as their guide, I can see how one then could set new goals far more quickly because the virtue would provide sight and insight into what is next.  The next goal becomes much more self evident when you use virtue instead of roles as your guide to setting them in my current thinking.

So I have dropped my roles as being my guide to setting my goals or even combining virtues with goals like I did recently. What I want now is nine goals set by the NNV. It’s not that my roles won’t come into the discussion but now each virtue can in a sense touch all of the things I am rather than just one thing.

My foundational virtues of the nine are Honor, Courage and Truth.  They are foundational in my mind because they touch all aspects of life.  They guide me in all decisions.  This includes the goals I set.  I am going to take each virtue every week and reflect on it for that week and comment on progress toward a goal for that virtue which I will set here in this first few posts of A Skald’s Life. Let’s begin.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

I suppose Honor is more popularly defined as that feeling of self-worth.  I find honor to be an internal thing and the hardest virtue of them all.  Mostly I look at it as the ability to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, but also maintain humility in the fact you can recognize honor in others.  In my life the first part is a struggle.  I have made some very bad decisions this year and I am a man trying to get back on his feet as far as humble pride in himself.

If there is a goal here it is to look at my life more positively.  To see that there is still much I can do that is right and that this can lead me back to a feeling like I have value to myself and that others value me as well.  Honor is the hardest but also the most necessary of the virtues.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

The real trick of this virtue is first knowing what the right thing to do is and then secondly doing it.  I have been accused of being a coward at times but mostly I look at it as having the courage to walk away from a bad situation too.  I do question this at times but in truth an enemy rarely respects your courage even when you show it.  Courage is for conflicts and they are sometimes good things if faced bravely.  That said some conflicts cannot be won and you must have the courage with yourself to face that as well. It takes courage sometimes to realize if a battle cannot be won, then the brave thing to do is not fight it. Live to fight another day when the odds are more in your favor.  Timing.  Knowing when to be courageous is also important.

My goal here is pretty simple:  When I know the right thing to do, I do it.  Despite what I said above, my problem is to over think things instead of acting on my first instincts as to what is right.  Once you know the right thing to do and when to do it, then act.  That’s the goal here for me.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

People have called me a liar too. I would say; however, I have probably been more committed to this virtue than I ever was as a Christian.  The problem with being a minister is you find yourself telling lies very quickly if you want to protect your reputation as well as the reputation of those under your care. Facing the truth is not something church people actually do very well.  Particularly when comparing themselves to the ethical standards of Scriptures.  Now, I don’t really have any other issue other than discovering what is true.  People may not accept this from me, but I have been painfully truthful far more since I gave up my faith than when I was in it. My goal here is to continue to improve and face the truth even about the most difficult things – especially myself.

My goal is here is to be the one who pursues truth and stands with it regardless of where it might take him.  This is my pilgrimage – knowledge, wisdom and truth – finding them and living by them,

Summary:

The real problem with these goals is that they are hard to measure and are not specific.  That is however why they are also foundational as they really reflect attitudes and states of character I want to have at all times.  The other virtues will probably create more specific and measurable goals but these three are about every thought, feeling and decision.

Goal List:

  1. Be positive about my future
  2. Act with courage at the right time
  3. Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times

Until the Business Virtues,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – A Few Blog Notes

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

writing notes 001

I know it seems a little early for writing notes and changes but there is sometimes things you do not discover until a blog actually launches.

  1. I have to actually insert photos on this blog template.  The featured photo actually shows up now in the upper part of the blog as the background.  Makes it hard to reference your featured photo if you can only really partially see it. It actually makes the featured photo aspect of WordPress a little useless on this template.
  2. I looked up blog traffic in the past and I discovered that the time most people read during the week is mostly anytime between 3 and 6 PM.  So I am going to drop my weekday posts at 3 PM from now on.  Weekends people read all over the place depending on the weekend, so I will continue to drop weekend posts at 10 AM.
  3. I need for my family to know that this blog will not be referencing my feelings that much unless they directly affect my goals and objectives.  I also will only reference my marriage to speak positively of it.  The negative stuff and the struggles will only then be referenced if they end in a victory.  Otherwise, the gossips will be disappointed with this blog.  Sorry, I need to write for therapy again but not the way I have done in the past.
  4. This blog will have Pages for the main types of posts to group them together.  Their links should be up at the top of the blog where it currently says ‘Home’ and ‘Contact the Rabyd Skald’.  Pages are a little extra work for me but they do make a good way to organize the main branches of the blog.

Hopefully I can sort out some of the other issues as they come up.  There are always bugs and glitches you need to work on at any new start-up.  Thanks for reading.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!