“5 Remaining Goals” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

With the Crossing Off of another goal, it is time to list off the remaining ones and has some thoughts about them. This week A Skald’s Life is all about considering my goals so let’s first consider the remaining ones as a group.

  1. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.
  2. Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
  3. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020
  4. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  5. To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

# 1 – I continue to look and I am getting anxious about this, I am hoping the new support group connection will help there as they do offer career change aid, for those that qualify.

#2 – Once I have the new job or my tax return comes in I am going to get the tattoo on my bucket list so that it will be crossed off.

#3- what I am doing as regards to NaNoWriMo and using it to write my first Non-Fiction Book, number 3 might be off this list fairly soon. Like December at the latest.

#4 – I need only to make one alteration which is to shift my walking. hiking indoors for the winter.

# 5 – I am also getting closer to being fully Paleo but I am having thoughts in March and I may merge the ideas of Paleo and Keto at that time.

If I get the new job and the tattoo and finish my non-fiction book by December, then all that will remain to do is finish to March with Paleo and Exercise.  It gets nice as you cross goals off the list because you can put more concentration on a smaller list.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Like I said the most likely candidate for this goal is my tattoo.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

NaNoWriMo being used instead to write my non-fiction book is working OK.  I need to catch up a little at the time of this writing. Days off will be critical to doing this.  I am kind of focusing on this goal and getting a job right now. The rest of my goals are more long term so this one is next as far as an early cross off along with getting a better job.

Higher Virtue: Love:

This renewed focus on goals is necessary right now. It takes my mind off of other more destructive thoughts to self-love. Goals do that for me, along with discipline.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This working really well, but would probably work better if I had my meditation place and altar.  Both are a work in progress.  I am also thinking of writing out nine meditations so I focus on the important parts of each virtue.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“2000 Words” -A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Since writing my post for Saturday about National Novel Writing M0nth (NaNoWriMo) and deciding to use that month to instead do a Non-Fiction Book, I have been meditating on the 2000 words per day goal with that. I am now pretty confident t about that as I not only feel this is a worthy goal and one that is achievable for me, I feel it needs to be a daily habit to hit a word total each day.  The reason I say this is a far more concrete goal than writing for an hour that I have had before.  Because you can sit there for an hour and write only 500 words. I think the issue is making a goal that actually gives me daily progress.

To put it in perspective, my average post on this blog falls within 1000 words.  Pretty typical for me and that takes 30-45 minutes to write and then probably another 15 minutes to edit. If I follow my pattern of letting a post sit a day and editing it again the next day, that’s another 15 minutes.

Writing a book is a different matter because the editing for me would be akin to sitting down for hours and reading the material and editing it all in one go. So I could just follow the NaNoWriMo philosophy and just write and get the 2000 words in an hour or at the most an hour and a half. Very much possible if I put off some personal entertainment and get about the business of writing.

This week I will be hitting my principles in A Skald’s Life so that will be reflected bellow.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I guess I find it easier to find personal honor in others than in myself.  I am an observer of people and I find what is good in a far different way than before.  Honor is a feeling of value and it is far easier to find value or how people are valuable when thinking about others for me.

It is finding value in myself right now that is a challenge.  I just am struggling with that right now. I need a new life in the sense of having a new place, job and environment I think. It is why I am going to be expanding my job search for most of the country.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

Philosophically, I don’t struggle so much with acting once I know what the right thing is, it is determining the right thing. I was told recently I am a little bit of an enduring asshole. That is a reflection of a little less tolerance for bullshit in my life and standing up to it.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I think sometimes people have taken aback that I tell the truth a lot, even when it makes me look less flattering.  They are probably used to lies and accept them as part of life from others. I just don’t have it in me to lie to people anymore.  I spent a lot of my last three years of ministry, fronting a lost faith and have no desire to front anything anymore. What you see is what you get with me; take it or leave it.

I still struggle with what the truth is and how to deal with it.  I realized three months ago I was wrestling with whether I believed in any god at all and only recently accepted I don’t and to be honest the world could be here without god at all.  If there is a god, he is either one that doesn’t give a shit or we are just an experiment in a petri dish to him.  He isn’t benevolent that’s for sure. I have no evidence, in any case, to believe so until some evidence is given, I am facing the truth that I am for all practical and philosophical purposes an atheist.   So I am an Athiest Humanist with Pagan tendencies. 🙂

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love for the people who are important to me – check.  Love for self – hesitation to check. I am at a love crossroads regularly.  I need to take the self-love fork soon or there is going to be a problem.  I will get too close to the cliff of self-sacrifice to death if I don’t take the self-love fork at a certain point.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I like this routine now better than before.  It allows me to get the basics done and be ready to go through the day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Atheism and Asatru Virtues” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

The more I engage the question the more I am now aware and can confirm that I am an atheist. I have no belief in any way shape or form in a god or gods. Even what people consider supernatural has a natural explanation.  I am open to any rational explanation that would prove the existence of something divine or supernatural, but my experiences in the church and in particular being pentecostal have allowed me to see how you can boil everything down to magic tricks, groupthink, mass psychology, and psychological manipulation.

So the question people always level at atheists is what morals or ethics can you have without the divine? My response, you assume the divine/religion created morality.   Given that all religions have similar statements of morality, is it not possible that they are all borrowing from the same source – humanity.   It is why I can borrow the Nine Noble Virtues and be an atheist follower of parts of Asatru.  It is a good list and it gives my moral philosophy a good foundation but all tose virtues can be found elsewhere including in the atheist moral philosophy.

This is the week I engage these virtues for their own sake and ask myself how I am doing regarding them.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I struggle to be of value to me. It is not that others don’t say thank you and that they appreciate me.  Rather, it is when I look in the mirror and think I can be more and do more. My sense of self-worth is probable below average right now and part of that is my unknown future. I just feel Grey at times.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

What is the right thing is more of a question right now.  I keep hoping and searching for something better but I don’t know what that is right now.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

Honest self-evaluation is hard right now.  I don’t like a lot of things about where I am, what I am doing and what I am thinking.

Higher Virtue: Love:

It is the same old story right now of the tension of being concerned for others and a lack of concern for myself.  My self-maintenance of love is a little low but I have to make an effort to remember to do it.  I need to be myself, the problem is that it is very different from what people expect me to be and that is something that is going to make them uncomfortable which my empathic self will pick up on and then be uncomfortable as well.  It’s a vicious cycle and one that doesn’t end well for me. Something needs to change and I am falling back to thoughts I had a few years ago.  The tension is building and that is not good.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

This order is working out a little better.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Writer’s Bucket List” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

Well, I have reached the week where I look at my bucket list but I have also added the additional task of redoing my Routines.  Mostly though my decision to be a writer first and whatever else to pay the bills means some changes to both.  I have to develop two habits to do that 1) writing (on top fo the blog consistently every day) and 2) Reading.  I need to work that in right now and have some goals or bucket list items attached to them.

My bucket list is really about long term goals and having those mile markers on the journey where I can say – ‘hey. life is good’.  There are a couple bucket list items that looking at them may not be completely of this vein so I am thinking of changing them and they should reflect in some way the virtue I have attached them to as well.  it has been a year for many of them so it is time for a look again because what motivates me and inspires me has probably changed.

Routine changes are more about finding what practically works.  My morning routine works but my formal meditation time need some attention. The work and rest Day routines simply need to be ordered so the reading and writing get done every single day.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I still want to do this.  I do have as kind fo a side identity being a hiker and wayfarer in real life.  I want to see this as my first big hike. It stays.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I still want to do this.  One of my other ones is to visit the lands of my ancestors and I don’t think anyone has ever mentioned Hungarian ancestry, but I still love the city of Budapest.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

This bucket list item has been learning Latin but I have just not been able to inspire myself to learn it. More fitting with a writer and a desire for a long term goal about reading specifically, I want to read 52 books a year and that comes out to one per week. I decided the calendar year would be more appropriate for this one andI will probably use Goodreads for this for accountability.  I am going to however work this one in as soon as possible into the routine so once 2020 starts I will have developed the habit a bit.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I still struggle with this tension of being a natural care for others kind fo guy but neglecting myself at times. There are certain issues in my heart and head because of it. I have been meditating on this issue a lot but few things come into focus. its the age-old issue of self-love and care not getting done but me working hard to make others happy.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene. Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I find the biggest obstacle to formal meditation is I am not awake enough to concentrate on it and I feel a little grungy too.  I figure doing my stretching and getting a shower will do that.  I also have split my medications and supplements into two things so the don’t upset my stomach as much.  My payday is coming up and I want to order some candles and I found a company that produces valknut plaques of a sort for meditation. Time to get this meditation time truly formal as it helps me far too much to not do it or be hit and miss anymore.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Freya – If You Can’t Lay ‘Em, Slay ‘Em” (Asatru – Part 14) – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Freya Song” – Sascha Ravendark

Meditation:
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Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

Now there is a historical debate as far as the development of Norse religion regarding Frigg and Freya being the same goddess that at some point split in two with one aspect of this goddess being Odin’s wife (Frigg) and the other becoming the hostage of the Vanir along with her brother Freyr being the other, but even if they were once the same they become very different in the mythological stories later.

Freya and Frigg have many of the same spheres: Love, Fertility and prophetic magic. But they diverge as Frigg seems more of a homebody of hearth and home.  Frigg seems to be the aspect of the woman and man would want to settle down with as a wife.  Freya, on the other hand, is the girl you want to party with, fight alongside, and fuck.  Or rather given her far more aggressive nature – let her fuck you. She is very independent and self-reliant much like the cats who are her symbol.

Freya is actually associated with the spheres of beauty, sex and war, things Frigg is far less associated with.  She is a far more aggressive female than Frigg and far more passionate and warlike being also a goddess associated with death.  It is, after all, the goddess who gets to take half the slain in battle to her hall. Captian of the Valkyrie, she is one of the choosers of the slain giving half to Odin for Valhalla and keeping the other half for herself.  I don’t remember where I read this, but one commenter said she really had the motto of = “if you can’t lay ’em, slay ’em”.  She was either going to fuck you or fight you and kill you.

For the followers of Asatru, she represents fertility much like her brother Freyr and is involved in all things productive. But she is also invoked in matters of the heart whether love or conflict. It is said that her worshipers have evidence of their existence long before any others except Odin and her worship was the last to die out when the Christians came. A large testimony to her veneration. She would make a very good goddess for any shieldmaiden.

For me, this splitting of feminine nature seems very necessary.  Frigg being the quiet passionate strength behind the throne of Odin.  But Freya, well she is the openly passionate side of women.  That raw animalistic love and anger that they can be quite famous for. I love both sides and it leads me to believe that this split (if a split actually occurred) might very well simply be a reflection of this understanding.  That man at some point in his life needs a Freya to inspire him with passionate side of women and then needs a Frigg to give him strength as a father and husband. Perhaps it is reflective that no woman can be both of those, or such a woman is incredibly rare even among the goddesses.

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Zero-G” – Space Tramp – Chapter 8 (MegaTraveller Fan Fiction)

Happy Tyr’s Day

Story:

As Jeremiah sat down in the barstool of The Naked Gypsy, he remarked how lucky he was to even be there. This past year had brought him closer to death than any other and he was sure if it hadn’t been for some legal wrangling and calling in a favor from Captain Junos he would probably be in prison right now.

That’s what happens he was thinking when you sign aboard a ship simply to get off-world when nothing else is available.  Looking back at t though things seemed legit when he met Captain Cyril Jackson.  He had his crew filled out as far as officers but he needed a second engineer.  The Engineer officer was 1st Officer that specialized in Engineering and so Jeremiah filled the role of Engineer crewman.  The Regina Blue Mule III, a subsidized merchant class vessel, needed two engineers to monitor and maintain its power plant, jump drive and maneuver drives.

As it turned out, The Mule was a bit of a  maintenance problem. Jeremiah actually spent most of the time monitoring the drives and power plant while the chief engineer ran around fixing other systems.  The one thing that kept crashing was the artificial gravity plates which needed an overhaul. it made life interesting as sometimes for hours on end everyone was floating. Jeremiah took it as an opportunity to work on his Zero-G maneuvers and got quite good at moving about without gravity.

The route was speculative to be sure and The Mule could carry a lot of cargo and as it turned out it was cargo that Captain Jackson wanted to move a lot of.  But he also was a smuggler. Something Jeremiah wouldn’t figure out until the third port of call.  He was however under contract, so he shut his mouth and worked his job.  The trouble with this trip really hit a climax on the return leg to Regina when they actually jumped into the Regina system for the final stop. Jeremiah was eager to put this contract behind him, but one major adventure awaited.

One of the system defense ships hailed them and asked them to power down and prepare to be boarded.  Captain Jackson panicked and ordered them to run for it. Jeremiah quickly surmised that there must be something aboard that was contraband.  Not wanting to be implicated he decided to disable the ship in some way.  He wasn’t sure who was with him on this mutiny, but he for one was not going to be on the run from the Imperium.

The Imperium as a general rule does not give two shits about what each system does to govern itself. The Imperium rules the space between the stars and this was definitely something that the local Imperial authorities would take interest in.  Especially since they were carrying passengers both in staterooms and cold sleep. Captain Jackson’s actions were endangering a lot of lives.  Jeremiah decided to act.  He went over to the console that was governing the artificial gravity and basically disabled it.  The Chief Engineer caught on and tried to stop him but Jeremiah had learned how to maneuver in zero-G, so he went behind him and knocked him out with the butt of his blade.

After that, the lack of gravity played to Jeremiah’s advantage.  The medic and steward were too busy dealing with passengers so he got past them and found his way to the bridge. Captain Jackson was arguing with his bridge officer when he broke in and with a single swipe of his blade floating between them he killed the captain by slicing his neck.  Blood hung weightless in the air as Captian Jackson died.  The bridge officer surrendered,  powered down the rest of the ship, and announced to the Regina system ship their surrender.

This last week had been one fo being arrested by the system authorities and sitting in a cell waiting for processing.  There was some talk of stripping them all of their Free Trader credentials, so Jeremiah placed a call to Captain Juros and an hour later he was released and told nothing would be done to him.  He then started to shake, as it had been the first time he had killed anyone.  He was hoping Jackson’s family wouldn’t be after him until he learned that he had no family left alive.  The Mule would be towed back to port and put up for auction by the bank that supported the loan.

He arrived at The Naked Gypsy and had the first of many drinks. He realized how lucky he was as he could have been killed a couple of times. One more year and this second term would be over. He made a mental note to do more research on any captain before signing on with them. The image of his blade going across Jackson’s neck was still with him, but he slowly realized it was the only way.  Jackson had been armed with a gun and he had to take him down and he used his new skill in Zero-G to do so.

He pulled up the menu for the brothel upstairs. He found a girl he wanted but she had appointments for the next hour.  He paid upfront and reserved her for after that.  Right now, he would be content to nurse a couple more drinks. Hopefully, this next year would be a little more peaceful.

Megatraveler Notes:

Start:

Free Trader 2rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O3 – 2nd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 24  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 4, Bonus Money: 25000 Cr.

Year Seven:

Roll for position availability: 4 + 1 for Intelligence = 5  – position not available, serves as enlisted

Roll for assignment: 8 + 1 for Social 5- = 9  – Speculative Trade Route

Survival Roll: 4 + 1 Brownie point spent – 5 – Survives barely.

Skill Roll: 8 – Skill acquired.

Bonus: 5 – No Bonus

Roll for Skills: ( 1 for skill roll): Rolls Shipboard Life: 4 – Zero-G Combat – 1

MegaTraveller Shorthand

Free Trader 2rd Officer Jeremiah Kilwood

Rank: O3 – 2nd Officer   Terms Served: 1

UPP: A67A74   Age: 25  Homeworld: Strouden UWP: A-745988-D N Hi In

Skills: Pilot – 1, Navigation – 1, Engineering – 1, Sensor Ops – 1, Legal – 1, Carousing – 1, Small Blade-1, Turret Weapons-1, Streetwise – 1, Zero-G Combat-1, Grav Vehicle – 0, Computer – 0, Handgun – 0, Vacc Suit – 0

Brownie Points: 3, Bonus Money: 25000 Cr.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Goals and Routine” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

My meditations have been on my routines but I have to go back to my goals and look at the ones I have achieved and asked what part of my routines helped me achieve them.  This really involves a lot of thought about Routines in the sense that they not only have to line up with goals they also have to practically work.  If I don’t do them and they don’t actually help me achieve my goals then they need change.

This last goal that was achieved reminds me of the fact that feelings cannot be a measure of whether you decide to work on your goals.  If I relied on feelings to achieve blogging every day I would have never made it.  Any writer will tell you that you have to sit down and write regardless of feelings. Writer’s block to me is just another mythological excuse.  I had to sit down at my computer and write regardless of feelings and still do as the streak of daily posts continue.

I need to learn to branch this out a little more to other areas like writing my novel and a non-fiction book, and doing the other things writers do – reading.  The fact is the things I do despite feelings I am having good results in and the rest flounders because I let feelings determine if I do them or not.  That needs to change.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Goal Achieved and that is three out of nine for the year. My thoughts though are this goal is going to be regularly about getting past feelings nad getting habit in my life I need to be a successful writer.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I’m picturing in my head getting a new job, saving up some money and then getting my tattoo on my shoulder.  This would cross off two goals and a bucket list item off this list.  it is the next real major milestone in the journey and need to get there soon. The job search is also one of those things that need to get past feelings.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

In order to write my non-fiction book, writing needs to be every day.  Another place where – “I don’t feel like it’ cannot be present.

Higher Virtue: Love:

If I am going to balance out everything else with love of self, getting past my feelings is the key.  Literally. I need to start putting my feelings to love others in a proper perspective and I need to have some feelings about loving myself that are more developed.  That requires an objective look at feelings – why I have them and what they accomplish. Loving me has become I priority if I am going to move forward with my life and stop these anchors from the past from holding me back.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

I am starting today looking at every line of my routines and asking questions about what I need to make them work better and more consistently.  For the Morning Routine, the thing that is missing is a meditation altar and I am going to spend some money to make one with some candles, incense and I found a valknut plaque to be a centerpiece. It’s kind of a project that hopefully will make meditation a little more formal and thus effectively done.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Tyr – One-Handed Justice” (Asatru – Part 13) – The Pagan Pulpit

Happy Sol’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Wolf Totem” – The Hu

I discovered this group that has more of a Mongolian feel but the song is titled ‘Wolf Totem’ which, given Tyr’s one story involves Fenrir the great Wolf, seems fitting.

Lyric Video:

Meditation:
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Text:

See the source image

If you want more details about Asatru, I can’t recommend this book enough.

Sermon: 

The god Tyr’s name still lives on every time you say Tuesday.  It is his day and it probably speaks of this god’s importance more than any other than right up there with Odin and Thor. Tyr is much discussion of Tyr’s sphere as it would be simple to say he governs war, truth, and justice but the seems to be a mixing of the three ideas so in truth he may be more the god of trial by combat.  That truth and justice are ultimately played out in martial combat or a trial by combat is what Tyr represents and if there is a god that represents honor, it is Tyr.

Tyr’s appearance in Norse mythology is twofold.  The first is minor in the creation of beer for the gods but it is mentioned that he is the child of giants.  As a spiritual concept, I find this interesting as it seems to be saying that nature’s force has a way of bringing about justice and Tyr is simply a more civilized manifestation of that.

The second and main story that Tyr is known for is the story of Fenrir the Great Wolf.  In that story demonstrates his honor in that he refuses to remove his hand from Fenrir’s mouth and does to get Fenrir to trust the god’s final test of strength with the chain that actually binds Fenrir for Ragnarok.  But before that what strikes me as interesting is he seems to be the only god not afraid of Fenrir.  This actually speaks of the notion some warriors have of honor making one fearless.  Tyr seems to invoke that image in his story rather well.

To the followers of Asatru Tyr, of course, is remembered every Tuesday and his story is one that is repeated to demonstrate courage and honor.  Something that all Asatru followers hold highly given they are two of the Nine Noble Virtues.  I guess I find in the story of Tyr much the same along with the concept of how much are you willing to sacrifice for both victory and honor?  Tyr reminds us all that the price can be very close to home and should not be considered wasted if it leads to a good end.

Tyr is revered by those who seek justice so military and police officers who are Asatru gravitate to him as well as those who seek a balancing of the scales with Christianity.  For myself I find his story inspiring as far as honor and courage.

Hail Tyr, God of Truth, Justice, and War!  God of the Northern Star. Hail! 

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Wolfsbane” – Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 15

Happy Thor’s Day

Rogue Wizards Journal – September 7th, 2019

Amber definitely has lycanthropy and Lunette and I have been debating what to do.  I hope the ‘cure’ I just tried with Amber works but it is probably going to take a couple days to know for sure. But I am getting ahead of myself and should take this in order.

Amber displayed the restless sleep and the rapidly dilating pupils on the first day.  She woke up screaming the second night.  Then I knew she had it as I have been there.  Lunette for her part at that point created a magical potion from Wolfsbane that is supposed to slow the progress of the disease but the inevitable march would come so the three of us one day sat down to debate what to do.

The first thing we talked about was not Amber’s disease, but the possibility of a werewolf pack being around.  We continued our routine as much as possible including the skinny dipping but we were now much more watchful and we did it earlier during the day saving night time for discussion time.

I set up some wards on the cabin and sauna shed and the path between the two. they would give me a warning buzz in my head if anything got too close. Skinny dipping in daylight would have been interesting but it was now more about a quick cool off before retiring quickly to the cabin.  Our relaxing time had been interrupted by actual danger and that had us all on edge.

Last night we talked about what to do about Amber’s developing lycanthropy.  She, of course, did not want to be a werewolf despite the power.  You slowly but inevitably go feral and there are only a couple cures. The one used on me required killing a werewolf draining its blood and the magical power of Mrs. W. who used both healing and mental magic on me to affect the cure which involved bathing in the blood of the werewolf. The whole ritual died when she did, so that was out.

This, of course, brought out all the other known cures real or legendary.  One of note involved a ritual of wolfsbane potions and a magical altar that reputedly a mage had built for the express purpose of curing lycanthropy. No one knew if it was even real.  Some healing mages of the past and developed enough power to cure it but that was legendary.  Most of the rest were dreams of desperation.

In the end, the discussion turned to me and my antibodies. Mostly how we could use them to cure Amber.  I wasn’t sure how that could happen.  Mrs. W. and I never talked about this and I had always assumed that it was because it was irrelevant, but I had to now consider the possibility that had I been brought forward to cure others it would have tipped people off to my existence a long time ago and that boys and girls would have led to my death.

Now though that the Council was very well aware of my existence, it seemed that this discussion would have been helped if I had approached people with healing magic and asked but I never thought to do so.

How does one normally transfer antibodies from one person to another? Well, you can make a serum from the blood.  But that requires a lab and in this case, a full alchemy lab which we didn’t have access to and would take a lot of energy and time which might reveal where we were. Amber wouldn’t hear of it. Transfusion?  There were other issues most notably biological blood type but more importantly for us, the equipment we didn’t have.

Suddenly Lunette laughed. Amber and I raised eyebrows and watched her for a minute as she chuckled endlessly, then she spoke.

“Fluid transfer, that’s all we need.”

“Ok, Lunette what are you getting at?”  Besides the fact, Amber and I think you have just lost it.”

“Remember when you almost died Edward from that poison blade? How did we cure you?”

“How could I forget?  I lost my virginity and learned to supercharge my healing powers at the same time. Well basically I had sex with you, that’s also how you got those wings of yours.”

“Yep, but the sexual exchange is what did it.  It is the only thing inherently magical about what humans and in particular mages do.  Sexual magic is the key to making it work.  You just need to use it to transfer the antibodies to Amber and you can do it through a combination of magic and sex.

“Now…”

But my voice trailed off as I saw Amber’s eyes.  She had that look on her face where she felt excited but awkward at the same time.  She knew I wanted to take that part of our relationship a little slower. At the same time, she was afraid of what was happening to her and she wanted to make love to me a long time ago.

“Ok. how does that work exactly?”

Lunette explained that the antibodies were magical in nature and that they would be present in all my bodily fluids. The trick would be to get them to magically jump from me to Amber.  This would require natural magical energy and both Amber and myself to focus on what healing skill we had through it.

“Basically Edward you have to do what you did back then and Amber has to open herself up to the transfer with her own healing magic. The sexual act provides the energy boost and the means of transfer. Sexual healing at its finest.”

I had to admit her logic was sound.  I had gone over again and again about how I had not died that time so long ago and it came down to the supercharged nature of the sexual exchange between fairies and mages.  It saved my life and gave Lunette new wings.  The old pink and light purple ones had been ripped off by Elpis.  They had been replaced by these black and dark purple ones and I had a hand in that.

I got up and moved closer to Amber.

“A long time ago, I resisted what Lunette is talking about.  I tried everything else and in the end, it didn’t;t matter.  Practical sexual magic won the day and healed us both.  I am alive because of it.  Now, here you are Amber and my feelings of love for you are brand new. You also have a horrible disease that right now is just beginning to take hold of you.  It is weak and my temptation is to try some other way because it is weak, but every time I do that I regret just going full-on and getting it over with. So, if you think it is worth a try my love, I am willing to try as well.  I mean I am not asking you to do anything horrible but it might be for nothing.  I just wanted more time to get to know you better before we did this.”

“Oh, Edward… I have wanted to make love to you for a couple months.  It’s not me that I worry about.  It’s rushing you.  I love you too much to do that, but I don’t want to be a werewolf either and this does make a lot of sense.  It’s rushing you that doesn’t sit well with me.”

I nodded.  Then I stood up.  And put out my hand.  She took it and I led her into the bedroom with the double bed. No door but I slid the curtain across the doorway and I head Lunette leave the cabin. I took Amber in my arms.

“Gentle, I still am a little sore from my wounds”, she remarked.

“Absolutely, gentle and loving, my love.”

I am not the kind of guy who kisses (or has sex with a girl) and tells.  So, no details other than I am now sitting here in the early morning. looking at her naked body laying in the middle of the bed.  As soon as I finish this entry, I am going to cuddle back up with her and wake her up in a style more befitting a lover.

I hoped this worked.  Lunette is in the other room sleeping on the single bed.  She seems at peace. as well.  I can feel it – love for both of them.  I don’t know where the future leads, but I want them both with me.

Writer’s Notes:

The only thing I am going to comment on is the idea that a person can love romantically more than one person.  given my own experience, I say it is very possible to do so.  It is only our western society that says it is wrong, but I have yet to find any traditional reason to say so.  One form of sexual orientation is bisexual and that kind of assumes a Trois relationship for such a person to be satisfied completely.  I also think that it is more of an ownership thing of saying you control someone else’s sexuality and you don’t simply because you are lovers.

The one thing I think is for certain is the human race is not naturally faithfully monogamous. We have to work at it and that makes things unnatural at times. I suppose if we git rid of jealousy, envy, and desires to control sex and sexuality, it wouldn’t be a problem. But here we are – the human race – flawed and unhappy because of it.  

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“One Year – Made it” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

Happy Mani’s Day

Journal Entry:

The moment this post goes active, there will be a WordPress notification that tells me this is a streak of 365 days – 1 year.  Tomorrow will be the one-year birthday celebration and I will talk about that in more detail then.  But for today, I want to take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that a finish line was crossed.  Something I set out to do was completed and quite frankly right now I could use the win.

In the ‘A Skald’s Life’ posts this week I will be focusing on the principles of each virtue.  The virtue is the idea, the principle is the beginning plan of action to make it happen. A guiding idea that takes each virtue and puts it into practice.

Honor:

Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

GoalMaintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

Honor is one of the most tricky virtues of them all. I have worked hard to shuck off the past and live in the present moment. One can only take one’s honor at the present moment and build it and that comes from a sense of personal pride. I still struggle here for myself but note people who are honorable and people who are not.

Goal achieved today.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

What specifically is the right thing to do is often self-evident for me.  The tricky part is to act on it at the right time. If there is one specific thing that happened recently it was to take the plunge and be a writer first and whatever second.  That said now finding a better job may be in focus, but given the situation at my current work, I just don’t feel that is my avenue to find a better job.  Time to search for something better with more energy and act with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2021 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I am not sure honesty serves me well in all things, but I guess given my personality I would rather fail and maintain truth than succeed with a lie. My personality would never see this as a liability as INFJs are idealistic as fuck and here I am. I find myself quiet a lot these days.  I simply don’t think most of humanity is ready for the truth because it is uncomfortable. I would rather stay quiet than engage the comforting lies most people tell themselves.

Higher Virtue: Love:

The struggle between the love of myself and the love of others continues. The warnings I have gotten from studying my personality and my counselors over the years echo in my head – ‘You need to remember to take care of yourself. It’s something you are going to struggle with, so remember to do it.”  Yeah, I know.  I just keep running into a wall about it.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create a Daily Log and To-Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Better, but needs to be complete.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!