Happy Odin’s Day!

I now know Why I struggle with goals so much. In short, I set way too many and then I fail at all but a few. I overreach a lot. Take this blog for instance. There was a time when I would post pretty much every day. It was one of my goals, but I had many others at the time, and they suffered. So I switched goals and tried to keep the goal of posting regularly up, and then it fell off. I am a bad juggler when it comes to goals.

For a long time, I struggled with the cause of this overreaching. I now think autistic traits that I have in my thinking explain a lot of it. I see and plan much and execute little. Practical time management and habits are my two difficulties because routine is so needed for me and at the same time, so hard to change. I can also point to the motivation to do things being so influenced now by hypersensitivity. When my senses are overloaded, the Grey (depression for new readers) is high.

What overloads them. Bright Light – now I know why I like cloudy days. Warm Tempature – why I was twice as depressed in Texas as in Michigan. Strong smells – My nose is very rarely not plugged to prevent my feeling miserable. Lack of Touch – My touch sense is actually more of a positive for me and well without a woman in my life, that is down to nil and it shows in how I feel. In short, when all of these get too much – The Grey is sure to follow.

Depression tends to kick the shit out of my goals. Only established habits survive for me and I can only realistically get those established when I am not depressed and/ or not being overwhelmed by hypersensitivity.

Essentialism is a good help. It reminds me to take that long list of goals, trim it down, and then turn the day-to-day into habits. The best time for me to get these established is probably now.

This blog is still my favorite child. I hope to write more regularly soon, but I have some stuff to sort out better. Thanks to all of you over the years who have stuck with me. I think writing is the most therapeutic thing I do and you are a part of that. Hopefully, things will get better soon.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!