Month: May 2022

Writing from the Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

As I enter my second week of writing every day, I am trying to find my groove. Part of that has always been to have a setlist of topics. A Weekly Routine or writing with each day being about writing on that topic on that day. To be honest, this does help me, but it sometimes gets in the way of writing from the heart. If a topic doesn’t vibe with me that day, it will be choppy.

I have spoken before about finding my Muse and I still recognize my need for a woman in my life for this to be a supercharged inspiration. I know it will be mIss right when she inspires my best writing. In the meantime, I have been reflecting on what I like about women in general. There are some obstacles to this like being recently divorced, experiencing modern feminism in a lot of women, and just generally being more traditionally-minded (not completely) about women.

So having a set routine and trying to find my groove is a good option. I just don’t want to stop writing from the heart. Routine being a tool to keep you writing is one thing, but if you feel inspired to write on something else, you should probably break the routine and do that. A routine should be guidelines, not actual rules.

In the coming week, I will be thinking about my Routine. But I also will keep writing from the heart s much as possible.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

“Wayfarer”

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

Wayfarer

Alone he walks

The snow crunches

beneath his feet.

He is the Wayfarer

The Walker of Paths

He wanders

But he is not lost.

He seeks

He looks for the wisdom

Of the old, the new

And his fellow travelers

Spear in hand for protection

His friends

Two ravens, Two wolves.

He wanders

He walks

He is the Wayfarer

Author’s commentary:

I fell in love with the imagery of Odin a long time ago. I however didn’t realize that is what the original myth was that I was enjoying because I was reading Lord of the Rings and the character was Gandalf, the Grey. But Tolkien took his inspiration from mythology and in this case Odin.

When I finally did get to Norse mythology as a teen the image of Odin appealed to me. The man leading his people trying to delay his fate and the fate of the Nine Worlds. Trying to delay Ragnorok. Warrior and Wizard all in one. The interesting thing is he doesn’t go out and build an army to fight but takes the role of a humble traveler looking not for strength, but knowledge.

I take for myself the moniker The Grey Wayfarer in honor of this inspiration and in truth this was my inspiration not just for this blog but also for some of my interests. I am a scholar and teacher but I lift weights with a warrior’s mind and discipline. I hike, you don’t get much more Wayfarer than that. I guess I came to see my self-image resonate with this image and this poem is a reflection of that.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Music and The Wayfarer

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!

If you know me you know that my musical taste is very eclectic. Mostly, I tend to listen to music that reflects my emotions. Some people, a very few, have been able to figure out that if you want to know what iI am going through emotionally in my head all you really have to do is listen to my playlist. If you are emotionally inclined you can read between the lines and find the connections between the songs I am listening to and what I am thinking and feeling.

I have always been impressed by people who can read me this way. Miss Salty was one of these and it was sometimes scary how accurate she was. My ex-wife was not. Often she would just pass judgment on what I was listening to. She had no desire to know me in this way. The point I am making here is that the woman who can read my music and thus read me has an advantage. It’s a weakness, maybe. Or it is just a safer way for me to express my emotions without verbalizing them. I guess I would rather look at it as an open door to understanding the man who is The Grey Wayfarer.

Because my emotions change, what I listen to changes with it. It is probably also why I look for new music all the time because I do run into emotions that have no expression and I look for something musical to express them. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. But the search can be some of the most rewarding I have done. Especially when something new turns out to be perfect.

It’s probably why I don’t hate on any genre, but there are some I just don’t resonate with. Probably because what they express just isn’t me or my emotions.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

My Sundays Now

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

When I was a preacher, Sundays were the most important and busy days of my life. I would rise early to pray (truth needed to get my brain going), get showed, dressed, and start going over the service. It was a day to preach, teach, pray and proselytize. It was how I made my living. It was integral to my faith in the god of the Bible. It was also integral to my livelihood. So, it was usually a full day from start to finish, and especially during times I was working nights – tiring. Sleep was often non-existent. For the day of rest, I often didn’t get any rest, and it was a perpetual state of being tired.

When I walked away things changed. Suddenly, Sundays became free and open. They became restful and peaceful. I still worked at night, but I actually got sleep on Sundays, so I was ready for work the next night and not a zombie. My waking hours on Sunday were actually quite reflective and now that I have a more regular job, this is even more true.

Sundays have become my ‘reset’ button. I clean the apartment, I organize my week, I look at the week ahead and modify my routines, and I rest my mind and body. It actually is more of a day of rest than when I was a preacher. Ironic.

Sunday is important. In a far different way than was before. It’s the day I take a deep breath. It’s the day I pause the show, hit the reset button, and then move forward again. It really feels like I am walking along and then stop to get my bearings, correct course, and then keep moving.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Learning How to Teach

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Saturn’s Day!

About four years ago I made the decision to become a teacher. Even after a year of teaching squirrely freshmen, I still do not regret the decision. Every day in the classroom I learn something new. Learning how to teach is something I have often done, but it was part of my job, not the whole. Now it is the whole of what I do.

I teach World Geography which is the only downside and I probably will be doing it again next year, Of all the Social Studies topics it is my least favorite, but no one was offering my dream job. Get in the door first Ed, then prepare to embrace the right opportunity. This is where I am now, but not where I will eventually be.

Regardless, my chief lessons have nothing to due with World Geography. World Geography is a tool to teach what every teacher should teach – character. Vitrue and its expression in real life should be the goal of every teacher regardless of the subject. Because these can always be taught and have value in more than just in my class but in life. I don’t care if I see some of my students five years from now and they don’t know a lick of World Geography anymore. Shit, they can look up everything I teach on Google.

I will be proud if they talk to me about a job they got a promotion on because they were hard-working or that they have started a family with honor and fidelity as the center. If they talk about how they faced their fears and acted despite them. That is the joy of being a teacher.

Until then, though it is learning how to teach character through whatever subject I am teaching. That is work and I love the job. Doesn’t hurt that I get paid better than any job I have had. But in the end, it is about the satisfaction of those moments where students get it and become better.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Looking for A Shieldmaiden

/ Ed Raby Sr / 1 Comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Since my divorce, I have dated a handful of times. Mostly this has ended in a “Meh” from both me and the woman. While I can’t speak for the woman’s side as the only feedback I got from a couple of them was – ‘it might be too early for you Ed.” Yeah, my brain says you are probably right, but my dick says otherwise. Never been a guy for one-night stands because I have figured my empathic nature requires that I have some sort of feeling for a woman before I would have sex with her. And let’s be honest, the whole female-male thing is about sex in large part, but a long-term relationship requires a different viewpoint. My situation requires that I be having sex for good emotional/relational reasons, not just physical ones.

There are, of course, other reasons for a man and woman to be involved with each other. I would still say the time-honored and tested method of having a good stable family is nuclear, although I think others work as well. Evolution created and society recognizes this in practicality, if not vocally. My reasons for having a woman in my life in a relationship are not a long list. The qualities I am looking for are, in my opinion, feminine strengths. Even if the woke and politically correct crowd does not recognize them as such. In short, I am looking for a Shieldmaiden.

  1. Fidelity – I don’t want to worry if she has my back or not. When the world tries to come at us as a couple, I want us to go automatically back to back and the world loses. I want a woman who is strong in her feminine nature but understands that being independent is about freedom of choices. It doesn’t mean we don’t need each other.
  2. Peace – Bring my life peace. Make my dick hard, not my life and I will not make you hot and bothered, not give you tears. By carrying each other’s burdens our overall load gets lighter. When things get chaotic, we turn to each other to calm the chaos. Our home is the pale of peace and safety and we both work hard to make it so.
  3. Intimacy – It is easy to point to the sexual side of intimacy and that is very important. But I want a woman who is intimate of mind and heart as well. Where the ‘pillow talk’ matters just as much as the sex before it; conversation just as much as coitus.

I don’t think that is asking too much and it’s not a long list. I know this is something that takes time to develop, but if this is the goal and desire, I am willing to make it so.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Pagan Atheist

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day!

I get all kinds of looks when I tell people I am a Pagan Atheist. It is interesting to watch people’s faces as their mind races to find which they should be offended, scared, or angry about – my paganism or my atheism. Truth – all this shows is they don’t have a proper perspective of either.

I am pagan as far as my ethics of following the Nine Noble Virtues, respect for those that follow them in return, respect for those who have gone before (ancestors), and I find the holidays more reflective of reality. In short, I am pagan as far as practice because of heritage and I honor what my ancestors have tried to pass down to later generations. What I don’t believe in is the supernatural, the gods, or God.

That’s where the rational atheist comes in. I don’t think faith is a virtue but a vice. People will do all kinds of dishonorable shit because of faith. Believing in something you cannot prove or when there is even proof against it is no virtue. It’s arrogance. Honor Brings humility. Faith is what leads to arrogance that you are right despite evidence to the contrary. I refuse to have faith again. I chose rather the part of rationality that desires proof and the part of paganism that searches for truth even if it is a hard truth.

I know it is a strange mix but I take what I believe to be the best of both and keep walking the path.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Yes, I Still Follow the Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Odin’s Day!

I still follow the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV). I feel that following a system or code of virtue is far more valuable than following a religion or spiritualism because the results are far more tangible. Real-world application to life is far more important to me than it used to be when I was religious. Application to every day is what matters. The NNV provide that, as they transcend religions and theoretical philosophies. Simply put, they work.

Every Virtue has a real-world expression. They also combine to provide different expressions. Industriousness needs courage at times to lead to success as one faces risk while working at something with a good attitude about work. Can anyone not see the connection between honor and truth? For me, by following the NNV I end up with a life that expresses itself with love, justice, and wisdom. Qualities that no decent person should fault anyone for.

I simply remind everyone who reads this blog that much of what it means to me to be The Grey Wayfarer is to follow this philosophy – the Nine Nobel Virtues. It is something that guides my decisions and thoughts and I will write on it fairly often.

Thanks for stopping by.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Poem – “Dried Salt”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day!

“Dried Salt” – by Ed Raby, Sr.

My tears have dried

Dried salt on my face.

Once your salt gave me joy

But now the savor has ended

All that remains is your salt on my cheeks

Memories of pain and sorrow traced in saline.

Joy, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Loss, Grief

My tears tell the story of my life.

A history written in briny lines.

I long now for new salt on my cheeks

Where fresh wetness returns made of Joy and Happiness

If only the memories of your dried salt would fade

Writer’s Commentary: I said yesterday that my muse of grief and loss from Miss Salty seemed to have dried up and this is mostly true I still have a weakness for every girl I have loved in my life so that weakness for her remains. True for even my first love and my ex-wife. I care about them all and all of them have caused tears. I suppose my love for all of them will never completely fade away. But only one of them got the name Miss Salty as a nickname.

I guess my problem is that my desire for a woman in my life is one that gives me peace and intimacy. Life is turmoil and cold so you want the home to be the opposite of that. The woman in your life as a man should bring peace and intimacy. It’s all I really want.

Poetry is hard for me still because it was Miss Salty who taught me the core of it and how to express myself so It seems every time that tinge will be there of sadness. Wondering what my poems would look like if there was joy behind that relationship instead of loss and sadness.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Grey and the Wayfarer – Time to Take a Walk

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day!!!

I have been away for a while and I can’t say that after looking at my excuses for not writing that they are good ones. I will only say that I have been keeping my life on the grindstone and The Grey is a motherfucker. This issue is that a lot of major changes were taking place and; to be blunt, my muse was running out of steam, and I didn’t have a new one.

The Changes in my life were that I pretty much started proclaiming that I am an atheist (a pagan one as far as ethics) but also after 32 years my wife and I decided to part ways. I am not going to go too much into it, but the result was me putting all my worldly possessions in my Jeep Patriot and riding away on July 30 to Texas to take a teaching job in a Houston Area high school teaching social studies. I have actually found a good replacement for what I lost as a pastor, but also I can now at the end of the day leave work at work and start enjoying life. My only real battles are usually homesickness, loneliness, and depression (The Grey).

My Muse for a long time was the grief of lost love over those people who have read this blog known as Miss Salty. It’s not so much that I don’t look at my heart in that pot and don’t find a scar and a little pain. Time heals but it doesn’t heal everything. That said, the fuel that grief gave me for my writing seems to have dried up. It always seems that I need the feminine to write and I’ve struggled to know what to write about.

A little while ago though I realized that one of my coping mechanisms against The Grey is writing. I don’t; cope well when my feelings are not being written down and No matter how I try to a journal offline, it doesn’t work. It’s the notion of public consumption that makes it feel like sharing with someone else. That’s the motivation.

I don’t know what the future holds other than I have made the commitment to start writing every day again. It might be a journal entry like this one, a short story, or a poem or something. The main thing is to write and thus start taking a walk again into my feelings and thoughts. I am also going to keep these short, so that’s all for today.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!