Month: February 2020

“Viking Philosophy – Part 1 – Introduction” – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be (if any) either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: Herknungr- ‘Drengskapr’ (Viking Music)

Meditation:

Image may contain: one or more people and meme, possible text that says 'THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF WAS DECIDING THAT MoreCrazyStut Stuff COULDN'T GIVE ANY LESS OF A DAMN OF ANOTHER'S OPINION OR MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ME'

 

Text:

“Be Brave and Aggressive, Be Prepared, Be a Good Merchant, Keep the Camp in Order”

 

Sermon: ‘Viking Philosophy – Part 1 – Introduction’

I have been holding on to this picture of “Viking Laws” now for a little while.  I have thought about it and feel that a more practical series of Viking Philosophy is in order after my long treatment of Asatru.  The practical side of living life according to the philosophy of the Vikings might be in order.

In summary, the philosophy comes down to four items:

  1. Be Brave and Aggressive
  2. Be Prepared
  3. Be a Good Merchant
  4. Keep the Camp in Order

I want to take each of these fora week for four weeks and then consider a conclusion to the whole in this short but I think necessary series. My main issue is practical application of philosophy to life.  Of Wolves and Ravens is dedicated to that but this is a little more ‘spiritual’ as well with a sense of community and connection to the Nine Noble Virtues.

Until next week I can only say this short four phrase sentence will be on my mind a lot in the coming month.  In the meantime, I challenge you to meditate on it as well.  It’s time to pull back a bit from the theology of the Vikings and look at their philosophy of life.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: 1 person, beard, possible text that says 'Nordic Roots Sometimes you just need an adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul.'

 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Revising My Routines” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Sometimes life forces change and with my routines, a new job with a new schedule is going to force some changes in my routines.  Other changes were already being thought about because if I put things in front of other things that are more habit then I tend to do that and the thing that is a habit as well.  The idea is that in particular by putting my daily reading before writing on for my Blog, the reading will get done as will the blog.  It’s an experiment that happens to work for me.

The other change is now the daily word count for writing will be 1000 words until I get consistent with that and then I will raise the word count upwards as things get easier. I need to jsut be doing it every day and then expanding it to the point fo maximizing the word count without exhausting myself as a writer or person.  Blogging itself has to actually be done in such a way that I am two days ahead fo myself.  revising the psot for the next day and writing the one for the day after that.

The Morning. Work and Rest Routines have worked far better than any other method I have used.  The difference now is creating an option on the morning routine for exercise at the gym on workdays and taking a morning walk on rest days.  Moving from 3/4 time to full time means five workdays and 2 rest days on average per week.  My daily schedule as a department manager also changes from 4am to 1pm to 6 am to 3 pm.

After consideration of all these factors, the routines I have been following are revised as follows:

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation – 5 min.
  4. Check Communications and Email.
  5. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  6. Work Days: Dress in Gym Clothes: Go to Gym – Weightlifting / Exercise
  7. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Get Dressed for the Day
  8. Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  9. Rest Days – Morning Walk (weather permitting)

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  7. Check Communications and Email after 4 pm but before 6 pm.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

Discipline and Routine go hand in hand,  Most of the whole issue of my routines is about living the Virtue of Discipline.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The real trick at this point it to persevere in my routines. That every failure in them; not only do I get up from, but that learn from those failures so I have them less often.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I need to perceive of following these routines as being faithful to myself.  Being Loyal to myself involves achieving my goals and seeing items checked off the bucket list.  Routine and Fidelity to myself need to be a part of my mediation for a while until it becomes a constant thought and later a habit.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

Wisdom is always an application thing.  In this case, I have a lot of experience now in revising my routines as the situation calls for it.  This was not catastrophic change and I think they might actually help out much better. Long term it might reveal the wisdom of making exercise a part of my morning routine regardless of schedule.  24-hour access gyms are good for that.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  4. Blogging – Organize, revise, post for the next day.  Write a new post for two days out.
  5. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  6. Writing – 1000 Words

New and revised, like all the rest – next week will be a good test for all of them.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 6

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.
  6. Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on the Transgender” – Freya’s Chambers – Sexual Identity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day!

Disclaimer:  The topics covered in Freya’s Chambers include serious discussions of sex, sexuality and related issues.  If it isn’t your thing; you can move along, otherwise enjoy and feel free to discuss.  Given the nature of some subjects be prepared for nude images as there may be some.  I avoid genitalia as a general rule but is not always possible.

Discussion:

This is one of those subjects I was going to get to later but it has been put in my face due to recent events.  A coworker came out recently that ‘he’ was transgender and in a few months months ‘he’ was going to become ‘she’.  He talked to me with a lot of trepidation, my empathy could tell he was very nervous and they told me it was because of my background.  As a former minister, they didn’t know where I stood on this issue.  I told him that he really didn’t have anything to fear from me as I pretty much now allow people to be whatever sexual identity they want to be.See the source image

My atheism has made me quite liberal on most social matters as I don’t care what identity/ role or pronoun people use about themselves anymore. My main issue regarding sexuality and behavior is as I said some time ago.  Is it consensual, is it safe, and are the people involved emotionally mature enough to handle it?  Beyond this let freedom reign.

See the source imageIf someone, therefore, feels they are a woman but their body is male, then I can’t conclude they are wrong out of hand any more.  No appeal to authority for my morality means I treat them as human beings who are making choices about their life.  I respect them and support them and their right to make such a decision themselves. My own sexual identity has no bearing on this.  This is about an individual right to make decisions regarding their body and sexual identity.   A right that no person should take from them.

See the source image

My concern for them is that they consider all the risks and factors as honestly as they can and with the greatest amount of information possible to make the best decision for themselves there are risks both mental and physical and this change tends to be a one way trip with some things that cannot be reversed.  This a lifestyle-altering decision and should be treated as such.  Socially the stigma is very negative right now and it can be violent, cause the trans person to consider suicide and other mental escapes even more than others, etc. Going into this decision without full counseling and consideration of all the implications is unwise and I don’t recommend it.

See the source image

It’s also why I don’t think minors should be allowed to make this decision, not to mention letting their body grow to the point where it can take the stress the transformation can put on it, and some changes are simply not possible until the body matures anyway.

The one thing I will not tolerate anymore, is these people being treated badly. I stand very strong for individual rights in this area and my coworker needn’t have been concerned because my attitude now is to defend their right to make this change.  I just have to get used to the change as it happens on a practical level.

My Two Cents,

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Another Goal Achieved” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day! 

Journal Entry:

I now may need to change my routines, so this discussion fo my routines has been suspended briefly as I reconsider them because I have achieved another goal – I have found a better paying job within the place I work.  It adds some new responsibilities that will boast my resume and both will increase my pay and moves me from part-time status to full time permanently even if this job ends.  Finding a new, better paying job – achieved.

That means all three of my Business Goals are achieved for the year. The process now is to set new ones in March. This leaves four left so I have passed the halfway point of the nine I set last year so progress is good and in the end, I will have more wins than losses.  My four remaining goals are below and in order of how likely I think they will be achieved:

  1. To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020
  2. Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.
  3. To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.
  4. To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

I can see goals’ 1 and 2 happening.  1 – I just need to finish doing what I am doing to the end fo the year.  2 – Get some money, make the appointment and get a tattoo on my body – done.  The question marks are over 3 and 4.  3 – I don’t think my diet is fully paleo but it works. I can seep perhaps I shackled myself to this Paleo Diet ideal and that was a mistake.  But it might be considered a successful failure as I havel sot weight and feel much better with what I am doing. 4 – Having a hard time writing every single day. The Grey is really interfering but al\so I need to develop the habits of a writer and perhaps that should be a major overarching theme for next year.

I guess I can see clearly 7 of 9 goals being achieved,  one partially achieved and one failure. a 7-1-1 record. Pretty good.   I have learned some things again about setting goals so this will carry over to next year.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved when each person is their own master and no one else’s’ .”

Principle: To walk in the spirit of independence by being my own master and no one else’s

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by March 2020.

Bucket List: To be a published author of at least five books by March 2029

I can’t stress how good getting this goal makes me feel. A good first step to something larger.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published by March 2022.

The thing is I have a great idea for a novel and I would rather be writing that. I don’t know I need to rethink the whole fiction and non-fiction thing as a writer and ask myself some questions on how to motivate myself to do both while developing discipline about the writing process.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.  (Goal Achieved

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

On step closer to the bucket list item of owning my own home. but I will need an even better job for that. So another goal I can already see is to start to imp[orve myself once more.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I am trying to be fair with myself.  Frustrations can be self-directed at times but I am gaining some confidence back in my ability to provide for myself a better life.

Work Day Routine:

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, templates
  4. Weightlifting: Gym time – 1 hour after work.
  5. Writing: 1000 words/day.
  6. Reading – 1/7 of a book a day
  7. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, job search, other actions, etc.
  8. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.

As I said, all three of my routines are going to have to be revised in lite of my new job which has a different schedule.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Viking Mind” – Odin’s Eye

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Woden’s (Odin’s) Day.    

Discussion:

I think the greatest struggle I have with my deconversion and subsequent departure of any belief in the supernatural has been to change the way I think.  The pagan mindset is the closest I think to the naturalist atheist and I know that some atheists are indeed pagans who deal in the spiritual and perhaps view gods and goddesses, not as supreme beings but simply very powerful spiritual ones that are mistaken by others as gods. Atheists reject the idea of a single supreme being that has authority over them as even existing, but that still leaves a lot of room for variation.

I guess in my own small way I embrace my pagan side though pagan philosophy and in this sense perhaps I do have a Viking mind about these things.  As my meme above states, I run on a pagan atheist OS. Thus certain conversations make no sense to me as either an atheist or a pagan so there is at least some camaraderie of thought between the two viewpoints.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

“To see the truth, change one eye for another”

Meditation:

The Viking mind meditates on the practical.  As much as religion tries to give substance to knowledge gaps, the true value of the pagan mindset is practical reality and it meshes very well. There is a philosophy of how to live one’s life without fear of the gods or God, no made-up original sin to manipulate and control others with or cause guilt for actions simply by being human and the afterlife is an open question, not a definitive black and white one.

Mystery:

Whatever mysteries of life their maybe, I  do not face them groveling at the feet of some invisible imaginary power but standing on my own two feet win or lose. Paganism does not place humanity in the center of the will of the gods, nor does it make them subservient, just a part of the greater whole. I no longer spend my thoughts worrying over sin and how I will either condemn me to help if I don’t repent on time or the fact sin is so broadly defined that it is inescapable just being a human being. I embrace my humanity as a good thing and the world around me as something o be understood and necessary for my survival. I certainly don’t dwell on the afterlife preferring rather like a Viking to live this life as fully as I can for as long as I can.

Spirituality:

My spirituality now centers on my own well being and the well being of others, something I could not say as a Christian.  All the Christian message requires making people feel like shit so God can lift them up. My mentality now is that people are generally good with a few exceptions and that anyone can lift themselves up when needed.

Conclusion:

Of course, the Vikings did rape, murder, and pillage, but name me a people group at some time in history that hasn’t.  The issue now is that being a Viking in mind is more metaphorical and can be turned to good.  I don’t think the same can be said of most religious mindsets outside of Paganism and Agnostic/Atheists.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Everyday Discipline” – A Skald’s Life- Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Journal Entry:

This week I am both talking about my Routines and trying to get back on track with them starting with my Morning Routine which represents the daily discipline of my life.  The every day self-discipline of taking control of some basic things including my thoughts and feelings is what I am doing here.

What you see mostly with my morning routine is taking control of my thoughts and feelings and learning to control what I  feel and think.  There is also the basic physical discipline of stretching to wake up my body.  It’s organizing my day in my head and then beginning to execute that plan in my life.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).  (achieved)

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan by March 2024.

I have a real love-hate relationship with honor these days, there are places where honor is present in my life and others where I would just soon challenge certain people to a good old fashion Viking duel to settle the question.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st.

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation by March 2029.

I would say that the most likely candidate for my bucket list item here remains to get my tattoo which crosses off a goal and a bucket list item at the same time.  recently I engaged my courage with work and I think it paid off.  I will probably know for sure by the next ‘A Skald’s Life’ post.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness, to be honest, and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Honestly Pursue, Accept and Speak Truth to All who will Listen.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Read 52 books (one per week) in the year 2020.

I need to catch up on my reading of books and probably this means a few novels because they go faster for me. non-ficiton books take longer because I try to think through them while I read them. Writing the non-fiction book is going to require some work as I keep shifting from one idea to another. I think my Youtube channel has become the living expression of the principle here.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I hate it when to love means you have to make choices of priority in that love.  I have to love myself first.  This has become clear if I want to be happy. This means other relationships do have a priority order but at the top is me and it has to be me.

Morning Routine:

  1. Stretching / Yoga
  2. Shower, Personal Hygiene, Breakfast, Morning Meds.
  3. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  4. Meditation – 5 min.
  5. Check Communications and Email.
  6. Paper Journal: Update To-Do List.
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

The routine works when it is done.  I have a problem being consistent with it and I am thinking that tomorrow I will start working on it and it alone for a couple days until the next A Skald’s  Life.  The issue is I want this to be a habit.  The habit of being my thoughts under my mastery.  This is going to take some months of being consistent to do this. This needs to be the focus in the coming year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Heritage, The Grey, and Dried Salt” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer – Part 27

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Mani’s Day:

I should be happy with my life right now, but I struggle with it.  Things are getting better for my life all the time, but I feel something is missing in my life. Now those of you of faith need to understand this has been going on for a while and it isn’t the result of losing my faith as it precedes this.  Jesus never filled this supposed hole in my heart as much as I preached it was so.  Before I lost my faith in Christianity, it was this thing known as The Grey that was like clouds over who I was that indicated to me that I was missing something.

Heritage:

I have been studying my family history to see if there is anything in it that might indicate why this is so. I mean there are signs you can see in people by where they lived when they got married, the number of children, divorce, and death in a lineage that can tell you if things were rough or smooth for that person.  My continued use of Ancestory has proven to me that stories can be written and my lineage is varied but readable.

Some highlights:

  1. My father’s biological parents were people who eventually abandoned him.  His father because he was a drunk and his mother who knew she couldn’t afford him and his siblings.  The Bauman and Hole families are those legacies. The first family stretches back to Germany; the second is Dutch and Irish. I only know all this now because I discovered my biological grandmother’s (who I did meet while she was alive) maiden name and that opened the door to who she was married to and their parents. My grandfather was a drunk by all accounts and my grandmother found herself alone and on the streets.  She gave up my father for adoption.  She would go on to divorce two husbands and finally find a man who treated her well.
  2. This biological lineage has highlights but is noted most for its many marriages, divorces, and remarriages even at times when divorce was only allowed for infidelity indicating that infidelity was present. But also some of these remarriages are because a woman or man would watch their spouse die of some disease. There is a lot of sorrow on this side of the tree inflicted by the world and by self. I can see it and I don’t even know many details.
  3. My mother’s side of the family is far easier and better documented. It is a story of successful farmers, pioneers, and colonists. Most notably the Ackley’s who came from England to settle in the British Connecticut Colonies in the 1600s.  Many of them originally from Weymouth England and London.  They ended up coming further and further west until they settled in the Kalamazoo and Portage area of Michigan.
  4. Of course, my mother’s mom is even simpler and shorter.  The came from the Netherlands.  Like the whole family just picked up and left the Groningen area of the northern Netherlands.  My great grandparents and their parents all at the same time just got on a boat and came to America in the 1890s. They settled in Michigan and the rest is a short but powerful history of a family of Dutch Reformed people doing well in their new land.

So does heritage being this split have an effect on me? I guess I will wait for the DNA test results, to clear up the few loose ends that remain.  But right now the fact all of this is clearer should be something I am enjoying but other things seem to be pulling me into the Grey.

Depression: 

I believe part of it is where I live.  It has been mostly overcast and dreary this winter and that is never good for anyone with depression. I have been getting more concerned about my finances but it looks like a new job in my current company might help alleviate that short term for a bit anyway. My car and I went into the ditch and it is developing mechanical problems since.  I may need a ‘new’ one.  Life is intruding a lot right now and that triggers depression even if it is good.

Family trigger warning: Reading further might be a little too troubling for family members.  I am simply trying to get some things clearer in my mind and I find writing them and posting them does this, so hang on from here down. 

My marriage has definitely improved, but for me, there is still a lot missing and no matter how I try to fight it, I am becoming more restless every single day. The one thing for sure is whatever is missing, this improvement hasn’t fixed it, at least for me. I feel very much like I am giving up what I want to make my family happy at this point. I know what I want to do but I am fairly sure there will be a lot of pushback. This struggle, of course, causes The Grey.  That and thoughts returning from a lost love.

Dried Salt:

Miss Salty returned to mind due to posting a Facebook memory only to find her reaction to it with her name attached.  I guess feelings about her have solidified to a point.  I miss her; I care about her still, but I still wouldn’t trust her.  I know that sounds stupid probably, but the pain of this is still not gone.  I was looking at some old poems about her on this blog and the feelings are still there when I read them.  Although. I did manage to get through John Legend’s – ‘All of Me’ without crying once or shutting it off to avoid crying. She still haunts me like a ghost.

I avoid any sort of news about her, I haven’t even looked at her social media pages since June of 2019. I intentionally try to not think of her at times but she seems to come back in my thoughts more than I would like. WTF?  I should be a lot wiser from this whole situation but I miss that feeling I had and wonder if I can get it back. It is not happening with my marriage, improved though it is.

I guess I cling to this because, for a few months in 2018, I didn’t feel like something was missing.  This bothers me.  What was it that made me feel like I wasn’t missing something, because this relationship with Miss Salty, in the final analysis, was a shitshow?  How did this rollercoaster of an affair make me feel whole for once? For the first time, there was light in The Grey and I want to know what was it about this relationship that did that?  Can I get it back some other way?  All these questions are just made to order triggers for The Grey. I guess I have something to talk about with my therapist.

Walking the Grey:

True to form, Perseverance kicks in and no matter how I feel, I keep walking. I remain The Grey Wayfarer. Ravens of reason and wisdom overhead while following the wolves of what I need and want.  I search for the missing thing that will make me whole once again. Finding this wholeness is a large driving force and motivation in my life right now.  I walk the Grey because this is so worth it to me, I will walk in sadness for the rest of my life to find it.  Succeed or fail, it is worth that much to me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Deconverting and My Attitude About Women”- The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sol’s Day!

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be (if any) either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not given to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: Nordic/Viking Music – ‘Víðbláinn’

Meditation:

Image may contain: possible text that says '"WheRever you know or harm, Regard that harm as youR own; and give youR roes no peace." --Odin, Havamal 127.'

Text: 

Sermon:

When I was a Christian minister I always had the dreaded sermons when going through certain books of the Bible where I had to talk about male and female roles, husband and wife roles and the status of women.  It was so patently obvious that the Bible is patriarchal to the extreme it is ridiculous.  Women have a status of somewhere above cattle but below men, Women are clearly seen as male property either of their father or their husband.   The laws regarding rape and adultery in the Bible are much more about protecting a man’s investment and property than the woman’s right to her body and mind.

When I deconverted, one of the things I had to struggle with at first and deal with often was my own attitude about women.  Not that my views as a Christian weren’t fairly liberal, it is that the environment of the church still tends to put women in their place.  Even my last church which was very open, there was an almost unwritten rule that women could not be ushers for the offering. It actually caused some buzzing when one Sunday we had no choice but to use one of the female members of the church council to do this task because most of the men were gone that Sunday.

When I look at this issue now as a pagan atheist. the respect of the individual regardless of sex, sexual orientation or identity becomes paramount. I have no authority that tells me that women are subservient to men nor tells me that men and women have different roles in society.  We tend certain natural directions if left to our own devices, but it is quite possible for women to be mechanics and men to be hairdressers and there is nothing wrong with that.  It also possible for a woman to be the head of her house because she is the best suited to lead it.

I am very much attracted to the female form and feminity in general as a heterosexual masculine male. Our survival as a species has depended on this attraction for millions of years. I have no problem with the LGBTQ+ community but recognize my own attractions and desires that seem natural to myself are what most of society would classify as ‘normal’.  I love women and I love femininity as a masculine male.  I like pin-up girls (of all types and levels of nudity), the female form still lights my sexual fire and I find the wild pagan tattooed rebel girl attractive as fuck.

At the same time, my deconversion thoughts have taught me to respect women as their own individuals that have the right to be in charge of their own destiny.  Their sexuality is their own and they make the decisions about it. If a woman makes love to you by her own choice, it means she chose it as much as you and that is the best type of making love.  But that is also true of any time men and women work together to accomplish a goal or engage an issue.  I want a partnership with women, not ones that are subservient simply because I have a dick.

I find though that my upbringing and former way of life have a way of intruding from time to time with old attitudes. Old ideas of how men and women are different’ spiritually’ come up from time to time. One by one I have to deal with them.  I guess if something comes up where I notice it, I try to meditate on it and change my brain about it. My goal is to let women be what they want to be and enjoy the ride.

Parting Thought:

 

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Wayfarer’s Wells – Part 3” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sif’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

My Self Bucket List is a little more eclectic.  A group of wayfarer’s wells that are both long and short term in their scope. The scope of these is a rebellious act this coming Beltane to a tattoo this year as well.  Two items that are coming up very soon in the timeline.  The other one is a very long term item but it has taken a great leap forward in recent weeks.

The issue here is to mark the journey of life with celebrations and events that mark significant milestones. They also mark a very new attitude toward things I would formerly have called ‘sin’.  Now I just see them as human.   I guess these bucket list items are more about engaging the human experience fo my life than anything else.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To be following a full Paleo Diet by March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April 30th, 2020 – Beltane.

This rebellious act is something I think upon often. It is probably going to be something I will never talk about other than to mention it happened. Beltane has a wild connotation to it and I plan on living up to that.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My tattoo is simply a monetary issue now.  I know what I want to do and have an idea of which artist I want to do it.

Fidelity:

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s moral philosophy, to one’s family, one’s friends, and most important to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends is valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation (achieved)

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This item has taken a major leap forward. I received a genetic test kit from a friend (Shout out to Diana) and as I was registering at Ancestry, I took the offer of three months of access for a dollar. I have been building my family tree almost every night for an hour before I go to bed. So far, I am very Dutch, German, English and Irish.  Which also means probably some Scandinavian. Nothing direct yet, but I did finally track down my father’s biological lineage once I discovered his mother’s maiden name when I found her marriage license to my biological grandfather.  I then discovered him and the rest has been tracking down the lineage.  What I have discovered so far is worth a The Rabyd Skald Post probably as soon I find some extra time to write it.  It’s been a good week.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom:

So why the tattoo and Beltane.  How is this Wise?  Because it is wise to blow off steam. You can’t be the good guy all the time and be wise. It’s also wise to learn the wisdom of the past that is behind you.

Rest Day Routine: 

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  3. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  4. Cleaning – varies but one room of the apartment at least.
  5. Reading – 1/7th of a book
  6. Writing – 3000 Words

Need more of this.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 5

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019
  3. Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation – June 2019
  4. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  5. By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader/participant in a group of some kind.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!