Month: May 2019

“A Wolf Self” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am Wolf.  It’s a way of looking at my identity that is more internal and resonates far more with me than many others.  Wolves have that dual identity of being loyal but frightening to others. Wild and untamed but at the same the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity reign supreme in the heart of any Wolf and Wolfpack.  I suppose what I am going for with this identity is placing some understanding of having the soul of the wolf and not be alarmed by the truth of that for myself.

I suppose when you put it all together, I am a wandering warrior with the heart and soul of a wolf. If I was asked what I value in my soul it is freedom and liberty to roam, explore, search and follow my path.  I no longer believe in the split nature of mankind or its sinfulness.  Rather that we are individual beings that are human and none of that is inherently good or evil.  Rather, I believe that our entire nature simply waits to be harnessed as we follow our needs and wants to be guided by our reason and experience.

Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I remember at work one woman telling me she wished more men were gentlemen and less were dogs. I told her that a gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf. Still canine, not a dog but perhaps in other ways more primal and certainly more disciplined. The gentleman’s objectives are very wolflike, he just is more relentless and patient about it. He wants the best so he engages the virtue of discipline.  He waits patiently engaging in the things that day by day bring him closer to his goals. Such a ‘gentleman’ is simply a relentless wolf.  I seek to be such a wolf.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Wolves, of course, face defeat and failure.  it doesn’t top them, they get up and go back at it.  The only defeat or failure that ends their quest for what they want and needs id death. My nature has never been one to quit. So me and the wolf within keep getting up and keep going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My pack is small but close.  I do wish there were more members at times, but I take the ones I have and our bonds of loyalty grow stronger. Nothing is more important to the pack that fidelity.  Those who break deserve nothing more or less than what I have done to others – to be shown my teeth because I do indeed bite.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Wisdom is a tough call when it comes to being a wolf.  Wolves that survive listen to the raven’s caw overhead.  The learn from their mistakes and it allows them to become old wolves. They know what the need and want and use reason and wisdom to achieve them.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This is the part that still needs a lot of work.  A new week is coming soon so it is another opportunity to make the effort to get it all done.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Still Four Objections with No Answers” – Odin’s Eye – My Four Theological Objections to Christianity Revisited

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I am approaching the date now where I will have been out of the ministry and away from Christianity for a whole year.  I have literally not darkened the door of a church in that entire time. I can’t say I miss it. Mostly, it is the simple fact that it no longer makes any sense to me. It is my four objections that I formed that stand stronger than my faith ever was.  No one has come forward and no one has offered answers. To review my objections with links provided:

Odin’s Eye -Objections to Christianity – Part 1 – The Bible’s Inspiration by God

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 2 – Sin: An Imaginary Man-Made Problem

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 3 – The Cross and Empty Tomb – An Imaginary Solution to an Imaginary Problem.

Odin’s Eye – Objections to Christianity – Part 4 – The Justice of the Biblical God – An Unbalanced Scale

I still stand by them.  For the Eye today I am more looking at my feelings about my former faith than anything else.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

The most nonsensical statement in Scripture is Hebrews 11:1 –  “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.”  Most Christians think this is deep and profound but what it really is saying is that the only evidence and proof of the things we ask you to believe in is your own choice to believe them.  There is no evidence to prove any of our assertions, so the Writer of Hebrews simply asks them to take their own choice to have faith as the substance and evidence that proves it.  How would this be any different than simply asking people to believe in Thor or Apollo in the same way?  Nothing really. Christian faith certainly isn’t special in that regard.

Religion:

I now look at Christianity even more skeptically than before as a religion.  I see how religion can be used to control people and Christianity is a great perpetrator of that.  Before as a Christian, I was like George Washington in that I may have been devout but I was skeptical of a lot of things.  Now I am just skeptical.  I am working on my first non-fiction book that might be considered anti-Christianity, but trust me I have a list I considered on various topics and it is quite possible that this could be a deep well of ideas that could lead to a writing career doing nothing more but being a skeptic. Christianity has a lot of problems particularly in the USA and it could be a gold mine for a writer with my knowledge of it and my current mindset about it.

Theology:

My four objections are theological and they are also hard to break.  I know I have tried to break them myself for years.  This transition from being a theologian who is an apologist for Christianity to one that is a skeptic of Christianity was personally very difficult. But I refuse to waste my time being an apologist for something I now consider to be as made up as other religions. Christianity is sophisticated makebelieve, but makebelieve nonetheless. It’s my knowledge of theology that tells me that.

Spirituality:

I love it when I tell people I am no longer religious but spiritual.  I think they think I am some warlock chanting some magical shit, but nothing could be further from the truth. Mostly I draw my spirituality from experiencing life and all that there is to it. I find myself listening in meditation now almost exclusively, I don’t pray at all. I think not whining to the universe or the Divine and taking personal responsibility for yourself is a good first step in being a mature spiritual adult.

Conclusion:

I think to myself sometimes about the things I have lost by leaving Christianity.  Friends, colleagues and a sense of community that were all left behind. However, I have gained an honesty that I find much more satisfying and more appealing to my actual self than ever. I still remain open to someone trying to give me some answers, but so far nothing.  In the meantime, I walk the road of life. My eye wide open.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Wayfarer’s Business” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I am not just a warrior at heart, but a wayfarer. I am a seeker living by the understanding that ‘Not all who wander are lost”.  A pilgrim that searches for the truth is something that reflects my desire as far as identity as well.  A wayfarer has to be self-reliant to a large extent.  They also have to work hard being Industrious, walking the road is no easy task when you do it all day long. They also have to have an innate sense fo hospitality knowing both how to give and receive it.

The wandering warrior is an identity from a metaphorical point of view I can accept for myself. It involves conduct toward others and that is what business is ultimately about. Finding arrangements that are mutually beneficial without force, threat or fraud. It is why the virtues of Asatru known as Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality are so important.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

Independence is something I take very seriously. A Wayfarer relies on themselves more than others. It also gets rid of the presumption that others should help me achieve my goals at their expense.  It isn’t just about making sure your independence in intact but that you’re respecting the independence of others as well.  Promoting and advocating for it more like it.  The Wayfarer is a free person an seeks to see others free as well.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Working on it.

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

I like to work.  I find there is a feeling of satisfaction of accomplishing something productive in work that makes me feel like I am making progress in something.  Like a Wayfarer who can look over his shoulder and see the miles behind him that he has covered. What I want to change right now is the work I am doing which is why the job search is central right now.  I just feel I am more valuable than I am being treated at times mostly by myself. I can do better and find something more challenging and more satisfying to me personally.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I want to share more but I need more prosperity to do it.  Right now I feel we are self-sufficient, but not a lot of extra to help others with. That needs to change so I am a wayfarer seeking to be hospitable. I don’t know the specifics but I am seeking them.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice remains for me how I treat people and what is right in every relationship. For some people, this means I have engaged in the INFJ door slam. It is just safer for both of us not to have any dealings at all. For others, it is simply being as just as possible and for still others, my loyalty to them is solid.  I find the only challenge in the virtue of justice in some of my relationships is waiting for them to do the right thing. That can be frustrating as it may never happen and intellectually I see the need for me to move on, but my heart still is a little heavy and wounded about it.  So it drags behind my mind.

Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

So far the week has been completed. we will see the long term by this time next week.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Try Not to Be an Ass” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Wisdom

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

With this post, I will have gone through the entire rotation fo the Nine Noble Virtues and nine other Philosophical points that underpin my thoughts of personal philosophy. Namely my own personal philosophy.  Next week we will begin again with the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru and start this rotation again.  Today though we end with the concept of wisdom.

I think the first time I really felt I understood the basics of understanding Wisdom it was actually reading a Dungeons and Dragons explanation of Wisdom.  In contrasting Wisdom from Intelligence, the old basic handbook reads something like this as I recall: “Intelligence tells you it is raining.  Wisdom tells you to put on your raincoat and grab an umbrella.”

Of course, there is the idea in the wisdom of finding better ways to apply knowledge and use it to better face situations.  I have learned there is a great deal of difference between experience/age and wisdom too.  Just because people are older or more experienced at something doesn’t mean they are wiser.  Some people simply have gained knowledge but that knowledge. as the proverb says, simply is books tied to the backside of an ass. They simply haven’t figured out that they are supposed to actually learn something about their knowledge that actually benefits their life so they continue to remain dumb asses.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I see the need for wisdom because wisdom if it ministers to any need it is the ability to live life fully taking full advantage of every opportunity. That one lives a peaceful and full life is the product of engaging wisdom and enjoying its fruits.  The need for wisdom becomes apparent.

Wants (Freki):

We want wisdom too. Difficulties are far easier dealt with by wise people.  I will venture to say most of us will face difficulties at some point and we want them to be easily dealt with. If we have some level of wisdom, this want will be easily met. Problems will seem a little lesser when wisdom is not only applied but a regular part of our lives.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason is only one Raven.  Those that are reasonable can see the difference between reason and wisdom. You can be knowledgeable and reasonable but that doesn’t make you wise.  It takes wisdom to get the theoretical to become. reality.  I have watched a great many theories in my life come to nothing because no matter how good something looks on paper if you don’t have a practical plan that people will buy into, it fails. Reason embraces wisdom and so completes itself.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom is a wise pursuit. It completes things and makes them whole.

Conclusion:

I am often accused of being a smart ass.  I counter that its better than being a dumb ass. In contrasting knowledge and wisdom.  I would rather have those books being read and applied than just resting on the ass’ backside. I may be a smart ass at times, but I refuse to be a dumb ass lacking wisdom. I don’t know if I always succeed but it is better to pursue wisdom than to be a contented fool.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“A Warrior’s Foundation” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

Identity is one of the most important things that a person can understand particularly when it regards themselves. How one views one’s own identity has a great bearing on the decisions they make and the level of success they attain. I have spent a great deal of time these last few months meditating on the subject of my own identity.

In the end, three words keep rising to the top: Warrior, Wayfarer, and Wolf.

Today I want to look at the Warrior.  To me, this is foundational to my identity as far as what is a core identity.  I know there is little cause for a man to be an actual warrior these days.  Very few have the true necessity of fighting in a real battle. But the battle of life still requires in my identity a warrior’s philosophy. “Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”  A warrior’s foundation allows one to face all things in life with honor, courage, and truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Part of this core is and perhaps the central part of the core is Honor. To be noble of being and to recognize it in others. To be positive about my future.  This week marks a year since things regarding the honor of my past identity came unraveled. My life as a pastor ( my central identity at the time) came to an end just a year ago, and a change from pastor to the warrior as a foundational identity started.  It has been a rocky road to get here, but I am feeling like something is about to happen here that will be a larger leap into a more honorable me. Part of this is to surround myself with honorable people, who are my core friends.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

It is not always easy to do what is right.  As I look back at last year at this time because I was a pastor only in name and not in full truth; it was difficult to show courage. These days I face mistakes much better and own up to them when they happen.  The change is simply a matter of understanding my identity of being a warrior that takes responsibility for his actions. Courage is central to that.  To act with courage at the right time has become a core principle.  At the same time, it also takes courage to confront when people are not taking their responsibility and that has its risks but that is a far better course than to sit back and let them continue to avoid their responsibility.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

The warrior faces the truth.  Lies do not become true men of action.  I know one man who was a friend of mine who is now an enemy. I would say this is his greatest failing.  He is a good combatant, but he surrounds himself with lies. He is a false front of bravery, but he never seems to have the courage to face the truth. He only bolsters his own previously held opinions, no matter what the cost might be to what is true. I seek to never be like that.  One needs humility to know, understand and apply the truth. If you can’t face a simple truth that it is not possible to be right all the time, the truth will not be your core.

Higher Virtue: Love:

What does a warrior love? It is a modified version of the question: which path is the most loving? If the path is honorable, requires courage and embraces the truth, it is the one the warrior would walk.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

I decided to make daily stretching a part of this routine again.  I am noticing that without this I have a lot more problems with stiffness and joint soreness. It also is a good continuation of the calm meditative state I am going for in the morning.

I want this next week to be a test of all the disciplines from today to next Sun’s Day. Let’s see if we can have a full and complete week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Basic Pagan Principles – An Introduction” – The Pagan Pulpit

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

There is going to be a format change to the Pagan Pulpit. Most notably that I will be removing two songs and the poem out of it.  I want to focus on music specifically in The Skald’s Lyre which debuted yesterday.  Poetry I am still deciding what to call that but it will also be separate.  Any poem I write myself Goes under Skald Poems. This will leave Announcements, Theme Song, Meditation, Text, Sermon and Parting Thought.  Hopefully, this will make it both easier to write for me and a little more streamlined for you.  I am just trying to provide some spiritual inspiration here, not dominate your Sun’s Day.  To the rest of the announcements.

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Theme Song: “Odin” – SKALD

Translation of lyrics: https://lyricstranslate.com/en/%C3%B3dinn-odin.html

A band called SKALD and a song about Odin.  It fits my Paganism and a great song to start this series with.

Meditation:

Image may contain: text

With paganism, each person’s path is unique to them.  There is no right or wrong path necessarily.  Just a journey.

Text:

“Pagans may be trained in particular traditions or they may follow their own inspiration. Paganism is not dogmatic. Pagans pursue their own vision of the Divine as a direct and personal experience.” – Pagan Federation international

Sermon:

The real problem with getting the dictionary definition of pagan or paganism is that the word has had a negative connotation in common use for so long; those definitions are still colored by that negativity.  The observation above is made by pagans themselves and when people ask me why I consider myself a pagan is it because of this basic idea of each pagan chooses their own spiritual path.  I have had my fill of religions telling me what to believe, I seek it myself.

For the next six weeks including this one, I want to go over the basic five principles that pagans hold in common. Specifics can vary quite widely.  The five principles I see most often are:

  1. Responsibility of Belief
  2. Personal Responsibility for Your Actions and Personal Development
  3. Everything is Sacred
  4. Freedom of Choosing Diety
  5. Scope of Consciousness

http://exotic-pets.yoexpert.com/exotic-pets-general/what-are-some-of-the-basic-principles-of-paganism-2192.html

For myself, I have realized for a long time that religions, in general, are simply that someone did the above and then codified it to a point they discarded large chunks of this until you are left with none of it.

The truth is we all choose our faith, and within that faith choose a path. Some of us choose a religion and that religion limits the paths to a certain selection of choices approved by others.  Paganism throws all that off. It says that all paths are valid, the real issue is to responsibly walk the one you are on.

Over the next five weeks of the pagan Pulpit, I will be exploring each of the above principles in detail.  I hope you enjoy it or at least learn something about the path of the people who identify themselves as pagans.

Parting Thought:

Yep, highly recommended that you do this from time to time. Don’t let anyone else define this for you, do it yourself. This should include your spirituality.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Me and Mozart to Metallica” – The Skald’s Lyre

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I am currently planning on doing a lot of research on Norse Mythology in order to do a few Crossing Bifrost posts with a little more knowledge behind them.  I am instead going to implement one of the changes I proposed which is to create a series of posts on music.  This will be subtitled The Skald’s Lyre and will most likely appear with Crossing Bifrost on Saturn’s Day.  I miss discussing music and I want to get back to it.  The one effect this will have on other posts is that the Pagan pulpit will probably only have one song now on Sun’s Day.

I find music to be far more spiritual the older I get.  It has always had an emotional effect on me and I can’t go for too long before I find myself looking for something to listen to either motivate men or calm me.  I have also discovered over the years I am far less devoted to a particular kind of music or a particular era.  I am most interested in musical discovery; that is the discovery of new music from any era that I can enjoy and from which I can draw inspiration.

My musical journey like most people started with my parent’s music.  They both grew up in the 40s and 50s so that music was a regular part of what was on the radio.  My mom was a band member in high school and so she focused on classical music; so I cut my teeth in understanding music as a child on Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms.  I liked it, particularly Mozart. I don’t if she realized it but she sowed the seeds for my metal baptism later.

Dad was more of an eclectic guy when it came to music. He liked the 50s do whop groups, country (and by country I mean old country, not this new stuff that is more pop with a country twang) and he was the one that introduced me to Johnny Cash.  Both my parents were young adults during the 60s, and so that music was also around too. My dad must have had a thing for Janis Joplin and Iron Butterfly as he had their albums.

Of course, we went to church and the old hymns and gospel were there as well as some new fangled worship music later.  My problem was as I went through school, I never settled on anything.  Until my first day in high school.

I entered the doors as a freshman full of fear.  I have been introverted all my life. I was tall and skinny.  I had started playing football, but I had no real athletic talent. I was nerdy and kept to myself except for the few friends I would keep close because of church or school.  That first day though I walked in and half the school as wearing Def Leppard “Pyromania” t-shirts.  I bought the album a few days later and listened to it. My parents had gotten cable so I hit MTV and saw all kinds of what would be later known as Hair Metal.  It was not this that drew me, but I would close my eyes and hear Mozart, just played very fast and with electric power.

After that metal was a part of my life. We played it in the locker room before a football game so I began to understand the emotional power of music.  ‘Back in Black’ by ACDC became the unofficial school song as ‘red and black were our school colors and our home uniform for football was black, head to toe. Hard Rock, Metal and 80s Pop were aa part of the equation for me as a teen of the 1980s. When I hit young adulthood a band called Metallica would dominate my music in the 1990s.

Now you need to understand I lived a double life with music from my Freshman year in high school on.  I had an extensive Chrisitan Rock and Metal collection; which while it irritated the fundamentalist pastors I had at the time, they wouldn’t completely tell me to knock it off because of the lyrics.  That was my public music.  When I was away from the church and in my own room, there was a collection of devil worshiping secular music and Playboys under my bed.  It was this music, and perhaps even the Playboys, that brought out in me the side that was true to a part of me that church told me to repress.  I just never could shut that off and so I became a headbanger. A Christian one in public and a secular one in private.

I have always listened to what I want since becoming an adult. I like and prefer things with strings and multiple part harmony.  I like a lot of things my parents liked and since then I have a lot of very eclectic tastes.  I have never really gotten to be the old man shouting at the kids around – “That isn’t real music.”  Even as a metalhead, my only gripe is other metalheads who start decrying different types of metal as not real metal. What a bunch of noize.  If I like it, I like it and these last ten years I don’t think there is a genre of music that I don’t have at least one song in that I can enjoy.  That said. if I want inner peace, some form of metal, alternative music or a sappy love song hits my playlist.

The Skald’s Lyre will have different kinds of posts.  Sometimes I will focus on an artist or band. Sometimes I will focus on a particular song or group of songs. Sometimes I might focus on a particular genre of music.  I might follow a theme in music or even reactions to some songs that I have loved for years but some other person is hearing for the first time. The subject will be basically music I am listening to at the time and what I feel and think about it.

To close this week though I will leave you with a historically significant song.  This song was the first song to ever be played on MTV: “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles:

Perhaps it will be as equally prophetic for me.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Meditations of Iron” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

This last month and a half’s progress has been greatly aided by my return to a gym.  This is not just true of my body although stepping on the scale this week and seeing that I am 281 lbs., which is the lowest I have been in a decade, was a particular thrill.  As most of you know the thing that I enjoy about lifting is the mental state it trains in you. Meditation is central to lifting in that every set, rep, and exercise has a way of challenging your mind as well as your body.

The goal is actually not weight loss either, but fat-loss coupled with muscle gain which is an entirely different thing.  I measure this with a mirror. This is Jack LaLanne’s method of staying motivated, which is to step out of the shower and gaze at your naked body in the mirror until you get angry enough and motivated enough to do something to change it and reforge it.  I do this every day.

See the source image

I still have a long way to go.  But the goal is to trade fat for muscle, not just lose weight, so I meditate on the best way to do that.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

My diet has been more spot on and for the most part, this is due to the fact that every time I eat something off plan it makes me feel like shit. Not because I don’t make allowances for cheat meals or carbs during the day, but it literally makes me feel a little queasy and I think my body is trying to tell me something.  I think I am ready for some more purging of things I shouldn’t have in my diet.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

The exercise plan is coming along, I just need to make some changes as far as routines and when I do things to have it completely consistent. There is a spiritual side of all my exercise.  Weightlifting is not alone in that regard as hiking and stretching have their meditative side.

I have been saving for the tattoo.  I am currently engaged in the process of deciding what to do first.  Much has changed since I last spoke on this but there are some tattoos that keep rising to the top. The question is which one would be the most significant as the first one. Right now I leaning toward something like this as it is the most complete expression of my philosophy I have seen in a single tattoo:

The only problem would be where to put it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

My wife and I are scheduled and we both have the time off for June 9th through the 11th and we have our reservations at a hotel so the mini-vacation is set.  It is less than a month away so it is something we are both looking forward to.  There is also this family vacation on the horizon, so the next goal of saving for that might simply fall into place.

A genetic test is not beyond the realm of possibility within the next year.  Once I know the results I can start the research into where my ancestors got on the boat and got off.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wise choice in this is to take care of my body and be loyal to myself first. Something I meditate on often to assess whether or not I am staying true to this. If I don’t do either of these things, the rest of it becomes jeopardized.  Painful but important lessons learned.  Wisdom gained and being implemented.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

This routine needs more dedication, but it is solid as a plan.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I added the completion of my internship this week and thus the requirements for my degree are finished.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Rogue Wizard – The Fire of Fury – Part 9 – Remnants

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Rogue Wizard’s Journal: January 25th, 2019

Of course, the weather would play havoc with my plans.  I mean not much other than as snow and freezing rain hit western Michigan in various waves the plan for a field trip to the Red Tree Grove, was postponed until yesterday. The temperature was pretty much the same just below freezing with snow and ice everywhere.  Whoever the pixie Winter Queen is right now, I imagine that she is happy with the results.

So yesterday after assessing the weather wasn’t going to be a problem, we set out to see the Grove.  Not a long trip, I used to ride my bike or walk back in the day. The trip from the House of Venus mansion was a little longer and we had to cross the battle lines which during the day were peaceful enough  Amber and Lunette flanked me as we went along. Lunette walked instead of flying as we were heading deeper into pixie territory and were not expecting any trouble from the war at least.

I left with a feeling of dread and that increased the closer we got to the grove.  Lunette seemed distant too.  Amber tried to make small talk but eventually quit realizing her two companions were in no mood.  As a mage, she began to get more nervous the further into pixie territory she got. I was sure nothing was going to happen in regards to the war. The Pixies would steer clear of the grove if it was truly as bad as Lunette described and the mages couldn’t get to it.  Well, unless the protective magic was gone which it might be.

When we crested the hill that overlooked the Grove, my heart sank into my shoes.  It was for all practical purposes gone.  The bright red leaves and whitebark were gone from the tree.  There was no life I could see at all and the branches were gone. Only a grey large trunk remained which disappeared into the forest below – twisted and evil looking.  The forest itself no longer looked magical but all too ordinary.  The crunch of snow under my feet and the cold air just added to the grey picture forming in front of me. There was no threshold to cross on the edge of the grove.  The protective magic simply no longer existed.

I looked over to Lunette and I could see the tears running down her face. I took her hand and tried to say something but the words didn’t come.  We simply walked hand in hand until we reached the base of the tree.

It was still largely shaped like I remembered.  The trunk that was left was still easily ten times as tall as me and I am well over six feet.  It was just wrong.  It was no longer white but grey and dark and twisted.  The ‘throne’ of roots where Elpis used to sit was still there, just very ashen. I looked to the right of it and the two large roots which formed a ‘V’ where Elpis and I would go to lay in the soft grass, talk and make love was also still there.  Now covered with snow, cold and lifeless.

To the left of the throne was where the three large scars had been.   I had helped heal them but now they were ripped open even wider than before – dry and jagged. I walked forward, crouched down and touched one of them.  The sadness of what magic was left almost overwhelmed me as I felt its pain and sorrow. Still ambient magic there, but wrong as well. Nothing was right anymore in the grove.  I felt that feeling of childhood memories that have been stripped away, never to be recovered.

“She did this herself.”

The words formed in my mouth as the truth and revelation of it crossed my mind. Damn.  What the hell was she thinking?  Was she really in that much pain?

“Lunette, there is still ambient magic here. Enough to be used.”

Lunette looked at me, her eyes were filled with tears.

“That was true last time I came here Edward, it is just there were still branches and a few other trees left. Now they are gone.  It is fading fast.  Just the core magic remains.”

“Which could be used for really shitty purposes.”

She nodded.  I looked at Amber.

Amber looked sad, but she understood what I was saying as a mage. If the Council and in particular the Death Angels got ahold of this tree, they could harness what energy was left and use it to do only the gods know what. Amber looked me in the eye.

“Ed, it needs to be destroyed. It is going to be of no use to the Fae and if our kind got a hold of it…”

“I know.”

I stood up from my crouched position in front of the scars.  The next thing I said was like a dagger to the heart.

“Only one thing to do. Burn it. It’s the only way to be sure.”

Lunette looked away from me but nodded.

“It has to be magical fire so Amber you are going to have to help me.”

She nodded and walked to the opposite side of the tree.

“Just as a warning, this is going to be a magical beacon so bright that everybody is going to know that the Red Tree Grove is finished.  There will be no hiding this from anyone once it catches fire. Amber I will let you know when to start.  Don’t hold anything back.”

I stood there for a moment waiting for Amber to be the opposite of me.  I looked at Lunette and she was crying still. Sobbing on her feet.

“I am in position Ed. Just give the word.”

I felt the fire form in my hands.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Wolf Within” – Odin’s Eye – The Grey Wayfarer’s Spirituality

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

Well, the time has come in the rotation of Odin’s Eye to deal very directly with my own personal spirituality.  There is no wrong or right way to practice spirituality as a pagan. One simply looks at life and the universe and seeks to both understand its spiritual nature and develop spiritual strength within through doing so.  There are common themes in the spiritual life of pagans to be sure, but the ways of practicing paganism are as individual as the people that do so.

So when a pagan talks spirituality, they use their own metaphors.  For me, the concepts of Wolves, Ravens and other Viking metaphorical language are my way of describing abstract concepts.  The wolf is symbolic of that part of me that is filled with passion whether that passion is based on need or want.  It contrasted with the idea fo the Raven which is the rational and wise part of me.  The two work together to pick and follow the best path for me.

‘The wolf within’ is the concept of that part of me which is wolf itself.  As a Christian is used to deny and try to subjugate to slavery this wolf.  Now I let him roam free. That wolf is the sum of all I want and need.  The hunger and fury of being a man in this world. If there is anything that I recognize now, it is my wolf within is not inherently sinful or evil and I let him live free and roam free. Funny thing is, he is not all bad. Like anything else in human nature, I have found him to be the motivating force of my life and the one that is truly strong when I need strength.

This is an important spiritual concept for me right now.  That if there is a wild and untamed side to me, that is a good thing.  It is just a question of how to best utilize it.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have always felt that if there is something to have faith in, it is my own passions. Passion drives us, but it can be a double-edged sword. That said, I have found that my intuition is something more right than wrong.  That intuition didn’t come from my reason or wisdom; although they certainly chimed in, it came from the gut level uneasiness that the prowler of the wolf within creates. It is this sense of danger that comes from the wolf, not the clear seeing raven of reason. When it comes to the danger these days, particularly with regard to danger in relationships, I find the wolf is far more my friend and something I place my faith in to be both wary and watchful.

Religion:

Religion always has a moral code based on whatever the founder of the religion says is right or wrong. Sexual desire becomes lust. Industry becomes greed. There is no end to this and it is more often this notion that so-called ‘baser’ instincts are labeled as sinful or evil than other things. Fulfilling needs and wants becoming bad or evil. This notion of higher desires and lower ones is inherently religious. I don’t find any desire sinful anymore, just a question of whether is it is wise to engage it.  I can understand all virtues engage all desires at some point and thus engage them all in their proper time and place. In pursuing virtue rather than religion, I can find the profitable in any need or want, even the base power of rage or hunger.  I don’t have two natures to feed one and starve the other.  I have a single nature that at times resembles a wolf and at other times a raven and sometimes both at the same time.

Theology:

I view mankind theologically as what they are.  Every part of us has a purpose in that, and what others consider sinful, I see as human. That is not to say there is no morals or ethics, but I can draw as much spirituality from passionate sex as I can from reading a book on logic.  All things that a human being wants or needs can be the door to spiritual strength and enlightenment. All desires, needs, thoughts, and experiences are righteous to me.  Ethics and morals for me is something that involves it all, not simply what supposed revealed religions says those morals and ethics should be. All parts of what it means to be human have the potential to lead to spirituality. We are not divided in nature as human beings; it is all the same human nature and no part of it is inherently good or evil.

Spirituality:

So here is the central path for me right now.  Learning how each feeling, desire, need, thought and experience can lead me to greater growth of my spirituality. To do this doesn’t just mean I embrace the raven but also the wolf that is inside myself. To feel is just as spiritual as to think, and I have found this transition enlightening. I grow spiritually when I hold my grandson; when I lift weights; when I make love to my wife; when I hang with friends; when I work. When I am doing anything really there is a potential to see something with my spiritual eyes and grow and gain the strength of spirit I need for each day.  That includes when I let the wolf out to hunt and play.

Conclusion:

The image remains for me of myself as a Grey Pilgrim. Part of what it means for me to be grey is not to label any part of my nature as dark or light.  It is just at times I am a pilgrim that is following his wolf’s heart and not just his raven mind. There is no difference between the two of them when it comes to who will give me the greater potential for spiritual understanding and growth. The wolves and ravens don’t just walk with me, they are inside me and I embrace them. They are what help me find my path and passionately pursue it.

Continuing to Walk that Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!