Happy Thor’s Day
I am approaching the date now where I will have been out of the ministry and away from Christianity for a whole year. I have literally not darkened the door of a church in that entire time. I can’t say I miss it. Mostly, it is the simple fact that it no longer makes any sense to me. It is my four objections that I formed that stand stronger than my faith ever was. No one has come forward and no one has offered answers. To review my objections with links provided:
I still stand by them. For the Eye today I am more looking at my feelings about my former faith than anything else.
Time to Look Through the Eye:
The most nonsensical statement in Scripture is Hebrews 11:1 – “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” Most Christians think this is deep and profound but what it really is saying is that the only evidence and proof of the things we ask you to believe in is your own choice to believe them. There is no evidence to prove any of our assertions, so the Writer of Hebrews simply asks them to take their own choice to have faith as the substance and evidence that proves it. How would this be any different than simply asking people to believe in Thor or Apollo in the same way? Nothing really. Christian faith certainly isn’t special in that regard.
I now look at Christianity even more skeptically than before as a religion. I see how religion can be used to control people and Christianity is a great perpetrator of that. Before as a Christian, I was like George Washington in that I may have been devout but I was skeptical of a lot of things. Now I am just skeptical. I am working on my first non-fiction book that might be considered anti-Christianity, but trust me I have a list I considered on various topics and it is quite possible that this could be a deep well of ideas that could lead to a writing career doing nothing more but being a skeptic. Christianity has a lot of problems particularly in the USA and it could be a gold mine for a writer with my knowledge of it and my current mindset about it.
My four objections are theological and they are also hard to break. I know I have tried to break them myself for years. This transition from being a theologian who is an apologist for Christianity to one that is a skeptic of Christianity was personally very difficult. But I refuse to waste my time being an apologist for something I now consider to be as made up as other religions. Christianity is sophisticated makebelieve, but makebelieve nonetheless. It’s my knowledge of theology that tells me that.
I love it when I tell people I am no longer religious but spiritual. I think they think I am some warlock chanting some magical shit, but nothing could be further from the truth. Mostly I draw my spirituality from experiencing life and all that there is to it. I find myself listening in meditation now almost exclusively, I don’t pray at all. I think not whining to the universe or the Divine and taking personal responsibility for yourself is a good first step in being a mature spiritual adult.
I think to myself sometimes about the things I have lost by leaving Christianity. Friends, colleagues and a sense of community that were all left behind. However, I have gained an honesty that I find much more satisfying and more appealing to my actual self than ever. I still remain open to someone trying to give me some answers, but so far nothing. In the meantime, I walk the road of life. My eye wide open.
The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.