Month: March 2019

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 7 – Writing and Walking Through It

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I know people are probably expecting a Crossing Bifrost post today but I have a couple pressing matters that I need to attend to and I am currently reading some books on Norse mythology that I want to get a little further in before I write my next post on it.

I also have been fighting The Grey pretty much all week. Part of the reason I am throwing myself into realigning my virtues with my goals and principles is that it really helps with this. I feel there is a key or keys in this process to dealing with The Grey; to a point where I can not only function with it, but actually feel some things without shutting down.

I have been asking a lot of motivation questions because what The Grey threatens and destroys the most often is my motivation.  The odd thing is that my motivation to write is the one that is often the least affected. The trigger this week is the time of year and it will be so until probably the end of summer.  Last year at this time, my ministry as a pastor and my marriage were both unraveling and there are a lot of painful memories associated with that right now.  I can confidently assert that the old notion of time healing all wounds is bullshit.  It can scar them over, but they still remain under the surface.

Writing has always helped with these times in that it gets me through them.  It is often the process of taking the next step in writing the blog article or project that is me taking the next step.  I write for me and I write to overcome my depression.

If a friend were to ask me what issues rise to the top, i would first say that it is not easy to talk about but then I would offer the following four things.

  1. I still deal with my change of faith. Or rather the discarding of Christianity and ministry for good. It is more than just a career change, it is a lifestyle and life course change, and it has been quite challenging emotionally and mentally.
  2. I deal with betrayal and loss.  Both of specific friendships and of the fact there is a group of people I lead as a shepherd for almost ten years than I still don’t feel comfortable in dealing with. Based on the letter I was sent, I feel judged and discarded still.
  3. I deal with memories of loving someone who I don’t know if they loved me at all in return.  It’s debatable if they were as they said “Just acting’, or if that statement was made to make the breakup easier for me and them.  Epic fail on the last one, it hurt like nothing I have felt in a long time.  I have a poem I am working on about this I think I NEED to write; but it is painful to write, so I don’t want to write it at the same time. I mean they seem to have moved on like nothing happened.  The memories for me are making that quite difficult, despite my best efforts to not think about all this by contrast.
  4. Then of course this whole thing brings up emotions regarding my treatment of my wife during this time which I now feel very guilty and ashamed about.

It’s why back in August of last year I wrote something that basically said I wished someone would rip my heart out and kill it.  These feelings are intense and difficult and I wish they would go away.  It makes my depression kick in as a defense mechanism so I don’t feel things. Feeling nothing being more preferred than these emotional memories.

I also deal with the fact that on March 18th I will be 50 years old. Half a century and I am fairly certain its these birthdays with zeros in the second digit that seem to challenge me the most. Another decade down, how many do I have left?  Where am I going now? What am I going to do? Who am I? How do I get where I want to be? When are these memories going to fade to the point where I don’t have to deal with them as much?

I wish I had more answers, but writing seems to help me keep going.  I write for me and I write to overcome.

Walking the Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Discipline

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Discipline is a very interesting word as it defines a lot of different things. Mostly in this context it is doing the things that need to be done every day to achieve the goals you want to achieve. When coupled with perseverance, it is an unstoppable force to getting where you want to go.  I was recently browsing through Barnes and Noble in the business section and found that there were at least ten books on discipline and many others where discipline is a key element among a very few.

For me discipline expresses itself in routines and doing things when they need to be done. The issues for me; most of the time, are procrastination and The Grey.  In any case though the one thing that keeps me moving forward the most is discipline and both those opposing problems are overcome by discipline.

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

I don’t really have a problem with this virtue as it is written. In fact, it is one of the best definitions of discipline I know.

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Don’t really have a problem with the principle either. It has kept me thinking on the issue of connecting my life to discipline.  No the real issue is the goal and bucket list item. Both have to be self oriented and connected with discipline. I originally thought my weightlifting would be a good fit, but in truth while this can be hard at times, it is not the self-discipline I struggle with the most.  No, that belongs to Nutrition.  At the same item as I looked at the other goals and bucket list items, weightlifting does not fit anywhere else all that well. I realize the whole issue of health fits here as it is the most easily seen thing where discipline leads to results but at the same time.  The weightlifting, nutrition and walking all are part of this taking charge of my body and living healthy as possible. So which to choose.

This is the point in the realignment that I realized that a complete rewrite of some goals and bucket list items might be needed to make this realignment a reality. I also looked at my goals and bucket list items and realized some just straight up don’t work anywhere.  This is particularly true for the bucket list.  So what goal to set and what bucket list item to pursue? It also becomes clear at this point that may goals I have currently are not that SMART. Goals should also have a singular point not be multifaceted.  Simplicity here is key.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Nutrition is by far the most challenging thing for me and it is time I take in on full speed.  This gives me the rest of March to prepare.  I also can start to look at what items I can eat and drink.  Mostly, what I see is eliminating dairy and the other items in my diet that I need to purge. Coming up with Paleo alternatives is going to be the real challenge and I hope a fun one.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Visit a Nudist Resort. I haven’t decided yet. Something along those lines.  My tattoos are not on this list because they will be connected with Perseverance. The idea is to plan an act of rebellion and execute it. Live life a little as a reward for successful discipline.  Something undisciplined to counter all the discipline.

One other thing.  This realignment thing has pointed out that I can streamline the A Skald’s Life posts. I can do this by including the specific goal and bucket list item under each Virtue as well as the principle.  This would allow me to consider them together.  I will start this process next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I think I have spoken enough on this today, but there will be changes to the routines that reflect all this.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

As I said my tattoos will probably be here as the Bucket List Item. The goal might have to involve exercise.  I do two things for this Walking and Weightlifting. How to couple these into one exercise program. Stretching fits in here too. Something that involves a complete exercise program is what I am thinking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Still thinking on this one but it involves relationships so my marriage. family and friends come to mind.  Mostly though I think both the goal and bucket list will be about my wife and I.  It may involve family and friends but it is going to focus on the two of us. I have some ideas but I will keep them to myself for now.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this realignment is centered on two principles – minimalism and simplicity. The goal is a more streamlined system of working the virtues out in my life that is simple.  So the effort required is much less. I want o achieve my goals as efficiently as possible and that involves making the pursuit less time-consuming and yet remaining effective.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The decision to go full Paleo Diet and next weeks exercise changes will involve some rewriting of the routine here.  I am hoping it will make these things more likely to get done.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Still need an effective trigger here. But also look at the idea of beating diabetes so the first one just says supplements.

Nutrition:

Full Paleo by April 1st.  Means doing some homework and dumping some things from my diet. I still think a cheat meal once a week is a good idea. Keeps you from going completely bonkers with cravings.

Weekly Recap:

The weekly recap is going to change because I think I can divide what I normally do here among the three A Skald’s Life posts as well. But a weekly recap is still needed on Friday but it might be where I keep my Goal and Bucket list Counts as well as have a more general feelings about the week and what needs work.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Deism: The Search for The Rational God

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I still very much embrace Deism as the most rational way to approach the subject of the divine.  I think the notion that there is no god is just as irrational as the theist or religion who thinks he/she has god locked down.  The great challenge for me as a deist is to deal with the subject of the divine using only reason and natural revelation as a guide. Heavy emphasis on the reason part because natural revelation is still subject to human interpretation.

Epicurus’ argument against God is pretty well-known and I still have some of the same problems with it as I had as a Christian.  In fact much of my arguments against it have not changed because even back then the defense against philosophy is not theology, it is more philosophy.   Most notably Epicurus assumes his definition of all-powerful, etc. are locked down and cannot be challenged. He seeks basically to win the argument about god through definition which is an argument from authority based on the authority of the definition.  What his argument does do is present the rational contentions about the divine that need to be addressed very concisely and in a logically sound manner.

This is actually one time where the Eye lines up pretty good with each part of Epicurus’ argument. So….

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

If he is able but not willing?  He is malevolent

I find it interesting that Epicurus engages in faith at this point. He has faith that there is such a thing as malevolence or beneficence and assumes that god must be one or the other.  Such definition really lose their meaning if you dismiss notions of good and evil and realize there might be a rational reason why a supreme being might create and then move on.  As George Carlin points out – God may simply not give a shit.  He may be a creator, but it does not imply that he is malevolent simply because he refuses to do something about ‘evil’.  He may simply also look at humanity and say – “you did this shit to yourselves and you have the capability to get yourself out, take responsibility for the ‘evil’ and suffering you have caused and fix it yourselves.”

I actually think this is the strongest argument for polytheism. That the reason we see so many problems in the world, is it was created by a committee.  Just saying.

My faith is that if there is a god or gods or whatever, that they are creators but not necessarily cosmic babysitters. Like good parents he/she or they want us to grow up and tackle our own problems and we can’t learn how to do that effectively without struggle.

Religion:

If God is neither able or willing, then why call him God?

Actually because the definition of ‘god’ is much broader than “Omni” classifications.  We also use the term ‘god’ to describe beings of great power and use a small ‘g’.  It is religion that paint god as all-powerful in the sense that he can do anything, but there may be laws to the universe that prevent the divine from acting and they may as pointed out above, not give a shit. It doesn’t stop them from being more powerful than anything else and thus deserving the title of ‘god’.

Theology:

If God is wiling to prevent, but not able.  Then he is not omnipotent.

I like to point out at this point that Epicurus does not eliminate god with this statement as some atheists claim.  It just shows that perhaps human conception of the ideas of omnipotent, omniscient, etc. might not be properly defined. So such a god could exist with all the power that actually exists, knowing everything in the way it is knowable and be present in all places that actually exist.  Yes, these ideas create a powerful being worthy of being called god, but there are limits here. Such limits make the normal understanding of omnipotence in need of adjustment, but it doesn’t make such a god not possible or lacking in existence. All this statement really does is point out that our definitions might be in need of change.

Spirituality:

If he is both able and willing? Where does evil come from?

Moral evil is easy to justify if you use freewill as a defense and a god who does not interfere because he wants humanity as a whole to learn and grow. It may not be logically possible to have freewill without suffering. Natural evil is a little harder to justify.  Other than if god is still bound to the laws of the universe, then the laws of physics make natural ‘evil’ simple existent and God may very much be a powerful being who fights these forces but cannot do everything.  Rationally, the god that actually exists might have limits – both because the laws of the universe place those limits or those limits might be self-imposed because it is not always wise to interfere.

Conclusion:

I am not saying Epicurus is wrong.  He may very well be right and God is a figment of human imagination.  I respect the atheist position but I find it personally a little extreme because of human ignorance of the universe. His argument actually forms a lot of rational response for deism as it must address these issues to have a rational reason for belief in the divine’s existence. His argument guides the search for the rational god because the questions are valid.  That said, I do, as a theologian, see the irony of accepting certain theological definitions in order to make your argument against the existence of god, when those definitions themselves can be challenged.

For me the search for the rational God is part of the journey that I walk. But as a pagan, it is not my only criteria.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Realigning Self-Reliance

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

You are on your own.  It is a simple but direct fact.  When people help me now I thank them and appreciate it.  This is because, for the most part, I accept the reality that the majority of the time I better figure out a way to achieve self-reliance on my own.  Most of the time I am on my own and so are you.  Self-reliance frees you from the temptation to be both a thief and a leech.  Two things I never want to be.

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

In realigning this virtue, once again I really have no problem with the virtue.  It is solid to me.  The problem for me the Principle is not as exclusive to the whole virtue as I would like.  It is focused on me, but the whole notion of my family, clan, etc. is missing.  Time for a rewrite.

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

The Goal is a little easier.  One current goal fits pretty well:

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.

I consider this goal to be the next step to greater independence.  It is a natural fit for a business virtue and principle as well.  I have had to alter this one once as far as time but no matter how long it takes, putting my degree and experience to good use in the business world seems the next logical step to personal independence.

The bucket list item is a different matter. I just don’t see anything.  Time to bring something back.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

This is the ultimate in independence to me. If there is something I miss about being a pastor, it is being my own boss.  I was still dependent on other people though and so this will be a step up from that.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

I think the changes here are good ones. I can’t really achieve independence for others, but I can fight and advocate for it.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

If I want to change the principle here is would be to try to bring in the idea of efficiency.  I still like the rest of it. I have a week more time to think on it. The new job thing is becoming more and more central for a lot of things.  Not because I hate my current job,  it is just not going to be enough to achieve my goals.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I don’t have a problem with the virtue or the principle. It’s what to have a goal and bucket list item that I am still thinking on.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

That all things I do toward others are not just loving but just.  Yeah. that is a challenge. For me justice as a higher virtue means you don’t just forgive and forget.  Mercy and forgiveness are sometimes very necessary in justice.  But I also think you can be so forgiving you let injustices slide which frees the person who does them to do more. That is something I have learned the hard way. But justice isn’t primarily concerned with righting wrongs so much as it is in doing no harm in the first place.  Acting in a way where forgiveness or judgment is not going to be an issue in the first place is the highest expression of this virtue.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two.

It’s not the routine that is the problem, it the execution here at times. I will however say that I am thinking of splitting the In Box and To Do list Items.  I have been creating a list of things to do at the beginning of the week and then as the week goes along. The To Do list Item may become crossing off a couple of things from that list on a daily basis. I will think on it another week and keep experimenting but so far this change has been a good one.

Goals: 

  1. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  2. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  3. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  4. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  5. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

The goal list has been change to reflect the changes to Honor and Self Reliance.  I look at the rest and see editing is going to be needed.  I think as March goes along things are going to get clearer and clearer so I am excited for the changes.  I want goals that work.

Along this line I want to add the concept of SMART to my goals.  Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reliant and Time-Bound goals are what I am after here.  The two I have changed definitely have these qualities. For every one going forward, it needs be the same.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

We had our taxes done and there is definitely going to be enough to finish number 1. The next step would be to have a plan of debt reduction that snowballs.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Virtue: Moving Higher

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Having finished the Nine Noble Virtues it is time to flip the subjects for Of Wolves and Ravens to the flip side.  So for the next nine weeks the subjects will be more Side B

  1. Eastern Philosophy
  2. Western Philosophy
  3. Love
  4. Minimalism
  5. Economics
  6. Justice
  7. Political Science
  8. Libertarianism
  9. Wisdom

These are either the Higher Virtues or other philosophical elements that guide my thinking. Subjects where my philosophy is more real and concretely applied to the real world of my life.

Today, however, we return to the general subject of virtue. Mostly the rationale behind pursuing virtue as opposed to Religion as a way of moving higher.  I suppose it comes back to the Marcus Aurelius quote I keep using.

See the source image

My main issue these days is to live a good life and so following good virtues is the path to that.  The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) of Asatru are good ones to follow and no matter what your religion or faith, I don’t think you could fault them.  Virtue is a Human trait and if anything is responsible for the good in the world it is when people take their human capacity and guide it by good virtues.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

At this point things will get a little more personal.  After departing from my Christian faith, I knew I would need something to guide my life philosophy. I think that is one of the problems of struggling with faith.  You hold your principles from that faith, but the basis for doing so is missing. I needed to figure out what that basis was and how I could hold a system of philosophy to guide myself and my character without having faith in a religion.  Virtue is an old discussion in philosophy and one that has always had a lot of merit to me. So I found that the need for a system of virtue was very much justified.

Wants (Freki):

I also wanted virtue.  One of the things that you get accused of when you leave the faith is somehow you are now lesser of a person.  It is never said but it is there.  Your ‘lost’, ‘going to follow your sinful nature now’, you are not as ‘good’ in the eyes of the people of the faith you left. Part of my embracing virtue is I want to show how bankrupt a notion it is to believe you need to follow a certain religion or faith to be a good person.  That you can be a better person morally without faith or religion is a hard concept for people to accept for some reason.  I want to prove that it can be done.

Reason (Huginn):

The rational reason for following virtue for me is that it upholds my thoughts that a person can actually use religion for evil while calling themselves good.  After all they are just following their authority of their holy book or holy man.  Even if that action causes harm to others, in religion it is still justified because you were doing what your authority told you.

I can’t do that following my philosophy of virtue.  Virtue demands that an action must also cause no harm to others whenever possible.  It recognizes that appeal to authority is not a rational act but a logical fallacy.  Therefore to just follow authority blindly is not virtuous, rather quite the opposite.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I feel that no matter what the twists and turns of my life are now, that the NNV allows me to navigate each fork and crossroad with wisdom.  I am not letting some blind guide pull me along.  Rather my eyes are open and I makes sure each life decision is guided by principle and virtue.  I do take into account what is best for me, but I also no longer think that shows a lack of wisdom but rather it demonstrates wisdom.

Conclusion:

On May 28th, 2018 I was no longer a pastor or a Christian officially. I even have a letter from my former church that fired me retroactively to May 27th to prove it. I keep that letter because there is a line in it that motivates me. From time to time I pull it out and read it:

“This decision was based on the fact that you no longer have the character, ability or right to be the shepherd of any flock”

Well, I plan on making them eat those judgmental and arrogant words and I plan on doing it by living a better life than I ever had as a Christian.  I plan on doing that by following virtue.  By so doing, I will move higher than I ever have before. I don’t see my leaving the flawed hypocritical virtues of Christianity to follow the NNV as a step downward, but rather a step upward. Time the pierce the sky and live a good life.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Realigning Honor

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

The next three weeks are about aligning my virtues to principles; principles to goals and goals to bucket list.  Also there are the Routines that will need to be altered as I go along to reflect any changes.  There are going to be changes. So for the next nine A Skald’s Life posts, I am going to be engaged in this process of realignment. To do this I am going to state the Virtue and the edit the principle involved, then edit, recreate or create the goal and bucket list items that go with the virtue and principle.

Once this process is complete for each virtue, you should see the changes reflected in the future A Skald’s Life posts.  I also have Routines to alter as a go along which will reflect this.  My meditation guide I use will be changed.  There are odd ducks like Weightlifting and Nutrition.  This is why I chose a longer and more thoughtful route. If only the first Virtue wasn’t one of the most difficult. Honor.

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

I will not alter this virtue as I think it is very solidly written and I have no confusion in understanding it. As I created the principle to guide this last time, the challenge was thinking positively about myself and my future.  I simply stated the Principle as: “Be positive about my future”.  I am not sure this lines up anymore.  True, honor involves looking at yourself in the mirror in a positive light but there is more to it than just being positive but it is central to honor. The goal needs to reflect this as well as the bucket list item.

Principle: To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

I look at the goal list and really I can’t find anything that relates directly to honor.  Other than to look at the goal of blogging every day for a year. Why?  Because as I look at the central element of honor it is to possess it continually and that involves a journey and this blog is about my journey as The Grey Wayfarer.  It is the closest of the current goals without rewriting them.  I suppose in many respects this journey I am on has Honor as central to it purpose.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

One of the first observations I can make about my bucket list is there is some repetition. Part of the goal will be to edit it in such a way as to eliminate that.  That said, if the journey is about honor then there is a current item on my list that fits and would not only be a cool thing to do but quite symbolic as well.

Bucket List Item: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

If part of my quest for honor is the journey then a bucket list item that is about a journey seems to fit and would probably when I do it be very symbolic of getting to a certain point where I feel honor is being achieved.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others. ‘

The principle is a little longer but it is the complicated subject of honor. My constant journey toward it is chronicled in this blog and the bucket list item now has a goal that is symbolic and something I really want to do. No when i meditate on Honor, the goal and bucket list item will motivate me a little better.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Of all my virtues and principles, I feel when I get to this one, I will find I will edit this one the least. The concern here is the goal and bucket list.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I think the principle here will need a major revision. The goal might be clearer as well as the bucket list item actually unless the revision of the Principle changes it.  For me educating yourself whether formally or informally is about the quest for truth. So right now it might be about finishing my degree and learning a language. Learning a language might fit here as it is symbolic of education and learning truth.  Latin would probably fit best the notion of being a scholar and symbolize this Virtue the best.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Honor, Courage and Truth all need to be aligned with love.  But in this case by pursuing these three, I think love will be woven like a tapestry from these three threads. There is a symbiotic relationship I am looking for her where love is expressed in Honor toward myself, acts of Courage for the ones I love and Truth toward others. This new alignment should make the higher virtue of Love clearer and more easily expressed.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals and Bucket List
  3. Meditation
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  6. Get Dressed for the Day

I don’t anticipate any changes here at all.  Except as the Principles, Goals and Bucket List change, my review and meditation will shift in focus and nature.

Bucket List:

  1. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  2. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  3. Get My Tattoos.
  4. Actually Get Drunk.
  5. Smoke a Joint.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Ass March goes on, I will change this every week. Mostly you will see items shift position to line up with their virtue as the hike goal is now number 1.  As I said before, I see some repetition of idea.  Learning Latin and Hungarian could be merged.  Getting Drunk and Smoking a Joint could be merged.   This would open it up for a few new items and that requires me to sit back and ask: “What do I want to do?”  This might be the fun element of this realignment and it is probably the thing that excites me most about this process right now.

Weightlifting:

I need to get a job that pays better so that I can know where I am going to be for the foreseeable future so I can join a gym and afford it.  In the meantime, I am thinking a couple 25 lbs. dumbbells might be a good investment as I can do a lot of things with them at home.  Walking is going to be available as Spring actually springs too. The thought of getting physically active again excites me and I know is one of my major defenses against The Grey.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:5 – ‘Everyone Has the Right to Property’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text:

“Everyone Has the Right to Property” – The Book of Rabyd 1:5

Thoughts and Exposition:

This is a new verse for the Book of Rabyd.  Most people don’t realize that the original Declaration of Independence had originally ‘life. liberty and property’.  Later editing changed it to the pursuit of happiness.  But the idea of the inherent right to property to anyone who owns it is something that has not always been recognized in history.  That changed with the Founding fathers as the notion of people having a right to translate their right to pursue their happiness.  As Ayn Rand wisely pointed out this means the right to property.

I would argue that this right is what defends the others as well.  Your Life. liberty and Pursuit of Happiness are yours and now one should be allowed to take them away from you.  This means you also have the right to defend what is yours.  But ownership of property being a right extends to all things that are yours.  The most important of which is ownership of self.  Self-ownership means to take responsibility for yourself and your own destiny instead of leaving in the hands of others.  You need to exercise your right to own private property to do this.

I often wonder if those who try to attack this right realize that what they are doing allows people to basically take away all the others. If my life is not mine, if my liberty is only granted and can be taken away, if my pursuit of happiness requires that someone else give it to me, then they are not rights but privileges.  The right to property is what brings in this concept of ownership of not only my stuff but my rights.

To think otherwise is to have the mentality of the thief and the societal leach. I make no apologies for saying this.  I people have the notion that other people don’t have a right to property, then they are perfectly OK with the notion that such property can be taken away. They also have no problem when people have their property taken from hem through taxation so they can be supported.  In short they envision people can think and work but the results in part belong to them even though they have done nothing to earn them. This justifies their stealing it or letting others do it for them.

See the source image

So we turn again to abortion.  The seeming conflict is that the woman has her right to liberty and pursuit what will make her happy.  The notion being that the fetus is her body and she owns it so she can dispose of it as she sees fit. The opposite side of the coin is that the child has he right to live and pursuit its happiness by living. The real issue is it possible for one person to really own another and I would say that there is some inherent ownership of ones’ self in such a right to property.

For me the question of abortion has long been a sticky one.  As a Christian I had pretty clear guidelines, but it was still troubling at times.  Mostly because reality is that natural abortion happens all the time and with far more frequency than people think.  Most are never known to even exist.

Post-Christian, the issues now falls to whether the fetus is a person.  If not, the nit has no right to ownership of self and all the other rights that go with that.  If yes, then he/she does and they have those rights. I am not sure I can answer the question definitively at this point but I still maintain that liberty and life are important in equal measure.  I hope the choice is life, because I consider abortion a waste of human potential, if nothing else.

The real question for me is should the state be allowed to interfere?  Once again we are still left to determining when a person becomes a person and the answer seems clear. Given all our rights and the notion of self-ownership, if the fetus can be proven to be a person then the answer is yes, but if not we still find ourselves in a controversy.  It seems with all the advances in science, we should be able to determine this. Then the right to property with its concept of self-ownership kicks in.  This still doesn’t give us a clear answer but we have two more principles left so we shall see.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:5 -“Everyone Has the Right to Property”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day:

Announcements: 

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Mr. Roboto” – Styx

I was joking this week with my daughter about using this song as a song about my grandson Otto.  All I would have to do is change the words a little to make this song about him.  That said, this actually is a pretty cool song made for a rock opera that dealt with dystopian future where rock and roll as well as other forms of free expression are outlawed.  Styx always was very good and their vocalist has a ton of range in this one.

Poem: “The Storm” by Edward W. Raby, Sr.:

Image result for odin wanderer storm

Wind, grey skies and pouring rain.

The Storm rages in my soul.

Fed by my inner pain.

Will I ever be whole?

Lightning flashes

Thunder rolls

I tighten my grip on the staff of my reality

Knowing only the treading of my feet

Boots grinding through grey mud

Soaked in sorrow, but my heart closed

Numb to the cold of The Grey

I struggle onward, not daring to feel

Lest my tears join the flood

And drown me in the rising tide.

I walk with the hope of seeing sunlight

I walk with the hope of feeling love

But right now, I feel nothing

So I will survive.

Soon, the wolf within will rise

The ravens will caw again

when the light breaks through.

Then I will laugh,

Once again I have become the storm

And I have become stronger

Note: This is still in rough draft form, but it is good enough I think to at least post it.  It needs refining but I like how it captures my struggles with depression at times. I will probably present this poem in it own post when it is more refined.

Meditation:

Image may contain: 1 person, text that says 'WHEN THINKING ABOUT LIFE, REMEMBER: NO AMOUNT OF GUILT CAN SOLVE THE PAST, AND NO AMOUNT OF ANXIETY CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE THEMINDUNLEASHED UNLEASHED'

Song of Preparation: “It’s My Life” – Bon Jovi

Text: 

Everyone has the Right to Property – The Book of Rabyd 1:5

Sermon:

This is a new verse for the Book of Rabyd.  Most people don’t realize that the original Declaration of Independence had originally ‘life. liberty and property’.  Later editing changed it to the pursuit of happiness.  But the idea of the inherent right to property to anyone who owns it is something that has not always been recognized in history.  That changed with the Founding fathers as the notion of people having a right to translate their right to pursue their happiness.  As Ayn Rand wisely pointed out this means the right to property.

I would argue that this right is what defends the others as well.  Your Life. liberty and Pursuit of Happiness are yours and now one should be allowed to take them away from you.  This means you also have the right to defend what is yours.  But ownership of property being a right extends to all things that are yours.  The most important of which is ownership of self.  Self-ownership means to take responsibility for yourself and your own destiny instead of leaving in the hands of others.  You need to exercise your right to own private property to do this.

I often wonder if those who try to attack this right realize that what they are doing allows people to basically take away all the others. If my life is not mine, if my liberty is only granted and can be taken away, if my pursuit of happiness requires that someone else give it to me, then they are not rights but privileges.  The right to property is what brings in this concept of ownership of not only my stuff but my rights.

To think otherwise is to have the mentality of the thief and the societal leach. I make no apologies for saying this.  I people have the notion that other people don’t have a right to property, then they are perfectly OK with the notion that such property can be taken away. They also have no problem when people have their property taken from hem through taxation so they can be supported.  In short they envision people can think and work but the results in part belong to them even though they have done nothing to earn them. This justifies their stealing it or letting others do it for them.

See the source image

So we turn again to abortion.  The seeming conflict is that the woman has her right to liberty and pursuit what will make her happy.  The notion being that the fetus is her body and she owns it so she can dispose of it as she sees fit. The opposite side of the coin is that the child has he right to live and pursuit its happiness by living. The real issue is it possible for one person to really own another and I would say that there is some inherent ownership of ones’ self in such a right to property.

For me the question of abortion has long been a sticky one.  As a Christian I had pretty clear guidelines, but it was still troubling at times.  Mostly because reality is that natural abortion happens all the time and with far more frequency than people think.  Most are never known to even exist.

Post-Christian, the issues now falls to whether the fetus is a person.  If not, the nit has no right to ownership of self and all the other rights that go with that.  If yes, then he/she does and they have those rights. I am not sure I can answer the question definitively at this point but I still maintain that liberty and life are important in equal measure.  I hope the choice is life, because I consider abortion a waste of human potential, if nothing else.

The real question for me is should the state be allowed to interfere?  Once again we are still left to determining when a person becomes a person and the answer seems clear. Given all our rights and the notion of self-ownership, if the fetus can be proven to be a person then the answer is yes, but if not we still find ourselves in a controversy.  It seems with all the advances in science, we should be able to determine this. Then the right to property with its concept of self-ownership kicks in.  This still doesn’t give us a clear answer but we have two more principles left so we shall see.

Closing Song: Amen – Halestorm:

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: text that says 'THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO GET UPSET ABOUT YOU SETTING BOUNDARIES ARE THE ONES WHO WERE BENEFITING FROM YOU HAVING NONE. POBYMAC#SPEAKLFE'

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Crossing Bifrost – Gods and Goddesses – Freya: Goddess of Love

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I know a lot so scholars point out the massive similarities between Frigg and Freya, but as someone who can see why certain things would change.  There are some personality differences in my opinion and I doubt Loki would have challenged the wife of Odin and basically call her a slut without some real proof out of fear the Odin would take it out on him.  Oor is Freya’s listed husband it is said she cries tears over his absence and the similarity to Odin makes people think that maybe Freya and Frigg are the same goddess with different names,

I would point out however that while Freya is a mother, her motherly attributes are subordinated whereas Frigg’s stories seem to have her motherly aspect front and center, particularly for Balder her son.   The fact is that the two goddesses are also said to have different children and their encounters with the other gods and goddess are distinct in the stories. Frigg is Aesir and Freya is Vanir along with her brother Frey.  The only evidence that seems to suggest they are the same goddess is the similarity in their husband’s names and those husband having a tendency to wander.  Sorry in all other aspects they are pretty distinct and different.

See the source image

Freya is the goddess of love, fertility, beauty, and fine possessions.  The Greek goddess Aphrodite might be a good comparison except Freya has very Norse qualities. Most notably she will suit up for battle when necessary.  She also presides over the realm of Folkvang, one of the realms of the dead. Freya’s duty is to pick half the slain in battle to dwell here while Odin gets the other half.  There is no criteria it seems for who get to go where, just her choice.  This makes her one of the Valkyrie.

Some scholars call Freya, the party girl of the Norse gods. Loki basically accuses her of sleeping with every god and every elf including her own brother.  Her defense is not denial but that it is not considered a taboo for a woman who is married to not take a lover when she wants to, just like the men. There is really no denial. In short Freya is the kind of girl a guy likes when he is single. Her attachment to the forces of fertility, love and beauty draws her into the realm of passionate sex. The image you can see is a girl who can drink, play and fuck all night long.

See the source image

The one other quality she has is that she is the very definition of a person who practices the magical school of Seidr or the magic of fate. She can see the future through prophecy and can pronounce curses or blessings that stick.  It is she, when the Vanir-Aesir War ended, that brought this magic to the gods and taught it to them including Odin. It is probably a significant thing this happened; as from then on, Odin and all the gods are focused on altering the future fate of their realm.  It drives them and their actions and the whole concept of Ragnarök becomes center stage.

In popular culture, Freya does not appear very much.  Except it is she who were probably conceptualize that the Valkyrie the most.  That sexy, scantily clad warrior goddess is something her image probably brings to us. She appears once in Marvel’s Thor the comic book in 1993.  She is merely a supporting character. She is much more than that in the mythology.  She probably has had many appearances in video games as far as image and character than anything else.

See the source image

Freya speaks to us of prosperity, knowledge and abundance and all the pleasures thereof.  She is connected to cats and fairies. Her sphere is love, lovemaking and pleasure.  But she also is one of the goddesses that can see the fate of men and chooses the slain of sword for her realm and Odin’s Valhalla.  A prophetess who sees the future and says – “It’s not going to end well; everyone dies, so let’s party while we have the time to party.

In my own series The Grey Wayfarer, it is why I chose to separate her from Frigg.  She will give me a goddess character to counter the more motherly Frigg. She is the woman who will be the good ‘naughty girl’ who tempts my protagonist. But in the end will also see his fate and weep as much over him as her lost husband.

See the source image

I find Freya to be a great character and one that is distinct and full of potential. There are two very interesting sides to her; as well as a bunch of nuances, that make her a very fleshed out goddess.  Definitely underused in popular culture by her proper name, but her image inspires a lot of characters of fiction and lore.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Eating the Elephant

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I looked at the task of aligning my Virtues, Principles, Goals and Bucket List I realized this is and elephant sized task.  It is not just these things that need to be looked at but also the Routines and other associated items that go with everything. So I looked at the calendar and realized I have nine Skald’s Life posts left after this one in the month of March.

If I am going to take this one bite at a time then I think the answer has presented itself in that I can take one virtue on at a time with its associated Principle, Goal and Bucket List Item.  There are certain Routines associated with each type of Skald’s Life so can deal with them one at a time for three weeks as well. The plan is:

Week of March 10th to 16th: Honor, Self-Reliance, Discipline

Week of March 17th to 23rd: Courage, Industriousness, Perseverance

Week of March 24th to 30th: Truth, Hospitality, Fidelity

Of course the end of this week, which started out very well, began to have major The Grey issues.  This started Wooden’s Day at work and pretty much is still going.  So there is a real necessity to keep going right now to keep this depression thing from dominating my birthday or the celebrations of the birthday’s of others. There is just too much at stake right now for The Grey to slow me down.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

It all comes down to discipline at times. It is either that or Courage. I guess discipline is that which you do when you are at peace to prepare for war.  Courage is what you need in war.  So I find myself alternating on my bad days between the two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess I can say that there might be an observation that perseverance is the product of this alternation between Discipline and Courage.  I mean, I should talk more about how the virtues overlap.  I guess I do that with the Higher Virtues in a sense.  Honor Courage and Truth being center to Love, etc. Every once in a while though you see a connection between say Honor and Fidelity.  Those should be noted when I see them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The loyalty thing to folk and friends are good.  I mean these I would perceive as pretty solid and for the most part strong.  I am struggling right now with two aspects of this virtue. 1) Being loyal to myself.  I mean a half a year ago there were certain things I wanted for me and I still feel like I am struggling to get there.  I feel at times I am still the pastor in mentality, where I give up something I need or want, so someone else can benefit.  I suppose old habits die-hard and all that, but if I am going to be loyal to myself my goals and bucket list have to focus on loyalty to myself.  Otherwise this has all been for nothing. 2)  “One’s Gods and Goddesses”  – yeah, who or what are they? Does my Deism, Humanism and Paganism count as this? Yeah, there are a lot of unanswered questions on that part. The thing I am most loyal to philosophically is the Nine Noble Virtues, so perhaps this isn’t a problem really. All that then is really missing is the personification. 🙂 I just need to figure out how this part works.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

In wisdom, it is wise to consider one’s mortality. I know I consider mine every birthday.  I always ask at some point how many more birthdays do I have left?  It is not really being morbid. It’s just being wise.  On the one hand one should like each day like it is his or her last.  One the other hand, you should plan like you are going to live forever. So each day is lived like it is your last with greater purpose.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real problem with this routine is not desire.  Gods I want to lift so bad again, but until I know where I am going to be with my next job, the gym is not an option.  Perhaps a simple bench and few dumbbells would hold me over but my bucket list requires some barbells and significant weight. Walking without proper winter gear is not an option right now either.  I keep them on the list though because it reminds me that they need to return as quickly as possible,  Writing is still a struggle but Cleaning is not.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Toughest routine to remember to do. Need my daily list or I would forget it. Even with the list I forget it at times.

Nutrition:

Went back to two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  This seems to work the best and it keeps me leaned out.  I think with this in place, I can fine tune things a little at a time until I get where I truly want it to be.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t know, The Grey really clouded things here this week.  I had to trust my instincts a little more when it came to some things. Honor is the hardest thing when you are depressed.

Business – Finding a new job with better pay is getting pivotal to not only the future prosperity of my wife and myself.  It is becoming critical for me as far as value. My own sense of personal value is starting to feel the need for it.

Self –  Writing on Tyr’s Day about Fidelity was particularly emotional taxing. I think this set me up to be triggered when some thing were said by certain people ,and it caused a Grey Storm to start. I know what a lot of my triggers are, but sometimes I don’t know what form they will take or sometimes there are new ones I never considered. I suppose it is the catch twenty-two of depression.  You have to talk about the past to deal with it, but sometimes by doing that you open the door to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!