Sex

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The State of My Heart

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

Journal Entry:

The last two weeks have been a lot of wrestling with myself.  This week journal entries will be dealing with the state of different parts of me as I see them and what I can do to improve them.  I will talk in this one of the state of my heart. My Wednesday entry I will talk about the state of my Mind and on Friday the state of my Body.

My view of heart is more than just the state of emotions; it’s also the state of my soul.  The thing is I view this as my core being and that which gives me personal value, motivation and a sense of myself.  It resonates with my foundational virtues the most.  A good heart, is honorable, courageous and rejoices in the truth.

It is also the most fragile part of me as an introverted empathic romantic sap.  I don’t give my friendship or love easily; truth be told, so when someone rejects my love or abuses my friendship, I get devastated. I fully acknowledge the fact that one of the persons who hasn’t treated my heart that well is myself.

See the source image

I would say the state of my heart is wounded, bruised and sometimes bleeding.  It is also held together by stitches, staples and even a rope wrapped around it. I am surprised it survived the summer.  To be honest, I teetered on the edge there for a bit of becoming a heartless bastard.  I got hurt a lot, some of it self-inflicted.  True, I kind of did some hurting there in the beginning myself, but it’s the hurts I received from people who, when I was down, decided to hit me again that really bothered me.

I don’t speak of this much anymore but I also did get my heart broken by someone I loved very deeply this summer. (I don’t speak of this often because its something that is hurtful to my family, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt and I still deal with that hurt.  I have to thus deal with it myself.)  There is a deep gash in my heart because of it. I also realized how deeply I hurt someone else; who I have renewed my love for, but that also has been a painful guilt ridden process. Self inflicted wounds there.  I am trying not to become heartless through all this, but I have truly become suspicious of anyone who calls me their friend or says they love me unless they have demonstrated both at a high level first.  Emotionally, I watch my six a lot more because I can’t afford right now to take any more hits. I still try to be true to my better nature. A friend/relative posted this a couple of days ago.  It really spoke to me.

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The one person right now who has proven her love for me is my wife. If there is any demonstration of genuine Christian forgiveness and mercy I can look at right now; it is her.  She is also been my chief source of healing. I long to cuddle with her, make love to her and talk about things with her.  It’s a good feeling and my heart seems to be mending because of it. If I can get closure in a few more things, I might make some real healing progress. I do want to get a wounded heart tattoo at some point as it is part of my journey.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Honor is still a real struggle for me. I feel the real struggle of my natures at times.  Oh, for me this is no longer about sin and righteousness.  For me the issue is more about the Wolves and Ravens.  Making sure the wolves of Need and Want listen to the ravens of Reason and Wisdom. Honor is returning but it is a slow and painful process.

Thing is school will be ending soon and with that graduation.  I even have a lead on an internship to finish things off this Spring. I am really hoping that fully closing this latest chapter in my life and looking forward to the future will restore some honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I am coming up to a time when courage might be called for.  Graduation now looms and looking for a new career starts probably this next week.  I need to be decisive and courageous in this.  The time is getting closer to act.

I want whatever career path I choose to be right.  It needs to fit me.  When I see it, I want to grasp it with both hands.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I miss the old Microphone.  I was absolutely honest with the way I saw things and the truth was more important to me than anything.  Now, I can’t recommend this in the end though, as it can be painful to face the truth about one’s self and situations.  It is often better not to say anything, if one cannot be honest.

This blog takes a different tack.  It is honest when it speaks but when it is silent, that’s when you know I am taking the route of being silent is better when you can’t be honest.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
  2. Review Goals
  3. Review Bucket List
  4. Full Body Stretch
  5. Meditate on One of the Virtues
  6. Breakfast
  7. Supplements and Medicines
  8. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  9. Get Dressed for the Day

I would say this is becoming more automatic and it is become habit.  To really make sure of that, I need to keep doing it for several more months. The real thing though is the peace of mind and focus this gives me early in the day.  It keeps me focused on why I live quite frankly.  I do feel a sense of purpose again and it is in large part due to the morning routine, in particular the meditation on the NNV and reviewing my goals and principles.

Bucket List:

  1. Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
  2. Get My Tattoos.
  3. Actually Get Drunk.
  4. Smoke a Joint.
  5. Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
  6. Write My Novel.
  7. Learn Latin.
  8. Learn Hungarian.
  9. Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
  10. Start my own business

I did a Rabyd Skald post recently about tattooing my closure.  I suppose when people look at the bucket list they might see get my tattoos, they wonder what specifically I am talking about.  Here is my list:

  1. Valknut Tattoo with wolves, ravens and a rune circle.  Right forearm.
  2. Broken Celtic Cross – Center Back right under my neck
  3. Two Wolves – Left shoulder “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves…” in writing under them.
  4. Two Ravens – Right shoulder – “but Listen to the Ravens First”
  5. Wounded Heart Tattoo – Left Pectoral

#1 is about my new philosophy of life where I can always see it and remind myself of it.  #2 – Old Faith – Still I must admit it has an effect on my thinking but I don’t have faith so it is broken.  #3-4 – My philosophical statement clearly stated.  #5 – Given this post, I think this one is self-explanatory.

Weightlifting:

If there is any concern right now it is that my current gym might close.  It’s having a hard time now that Planet Fitness is in town.  The owner is pretty distraught with a lot of personal issues as well.  I hate this because this was my gym – my home gym.  I love the place and always have. I hope they find a way to keep going.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – ‘Nudism’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

As a Christian theologian I wrote on the subject of human nudity a lot.  You can still read most of it at All Things Rabyd under the page titled God and Nudity.  Through all that, I developed some interesting friends in the nudist community.  I discovered that the term ‘Christian nudist’ is not actually an oxymoron.  I see recently the Sky Clad Therapist among my recent followers.  He is someone I have had a long association with on WordPress through the years on this subject.

Back in the Christian days, I spent a lot of time a Biblical scholar and theologian trying to come to grips with nudity from a Christian perspective. I went through the entire Bible and came to some controversial conclusions.  Some of the more thought provoking ones were that God’s view of nudity is that it was good, that the Bible makes no distinction about women’s breasts as being sinful and that if we were to follow the gospel’s implications to their logical conclusions, then we should return to our original state if all sin has been removed by Christ – ‘naked and unashamed’.

Practically of course, one cannot act on such conclusions either as a Christian in Western society or particularly as a minister.  Now that I am neither, I face some thoughts on this matter because the only thing really now is the social mores of our culture and the decency laws.  I say this because personally I have been just as comfortable in my skin as I am in my clothes and have been that way most of my life. The question now is does my departure from Christianity change my perspective on nudism?  On to the Wolves and Ravens.

Geri (Need): Do we have a need to be naked?  I think we do.  Practically I know for a biological fact our skin functions in its job better when exposed to the open air.  From vitamin D production to simply not developing the fungus on our bodies that comes from sweat and oil being trapped next to our skin by our clothing, I would say there is good evidence being naked for some frames of time leads to better health.  Psychologically, I have to say there is something relaxing about it.  I know what others have told me social nudity has allowed them to have a better positive body image, better understanding of the equality of human beings and other benefits. So perhaps our minds, hearts and bodies do have a need for it.

Freki (Want):  Do people want to be naked? Honestly there are surely those that do.  The question is what of the rest of people who have social mores about it and don’t ‘want to see that.’  The point is though there are some of us who like to be sky-clad from time to time and I don’t think this can be labeled as inherently bad depending on the motivation.  From and intimacy standpoint, nudity with lovers is desired and I can’t say that is inherently bad either.  The issue is motivation and what the nudity is being used for.  But even the uses of nude photography and art have their want aspects that requires looking at motivation. To want to be naked in and of itself – no problem.  If there is a purpose attached then the moral question shifts to whether the want is beneficial or detrimental to self or society.

Huginn (Reason): If I apply straight reason to nudism and nakedness, I really can’t say there is any reasonable detriment to either self or society.  You can’t make a positive statement that a person’s nudity causes harm in and of itself. If a woman strips her clothes off in a crowded room, no one can claim that action or her nudity harms anything other than their sensibilities.  The only reason to be applied to such action is that because some do not have such a view, it might bring harm to her because some would be offended at take action against her – physical or societal.  Reason should tell the nudist, to be wary of the laws of the land and what society thinks to avoid consequences. But no reasonable inquiry can find that nudity in and of itself harms anyone.

Muninn (Wisdom): Wisdom says that there are certain societal issues that, while it is not reasonable to have moral objections to them, people do not act on reason. Probably some of the most noteworthy of such issues are marriage and sex.  Certainly in this category is nudism.  Nudity generates a varied response.  Those that want to fulfill their need and desire to be nudists need to exercise a lot of caution and wisdom.  Privacy and finding private places is a good start with this. If there is a need for social nudity, finding places dedicated to such activity is probably a better bet than fighting laws.

I am not saying to not educate and try to find a way to more rational laws.  I think for instance the topfree movement is a good movement.  What I am saying is you better ask yourself if your activism is worth the money in fines or time in jail. There is also the question of family to consider.  As much as individual practice is at the forefront, your spouse may not be of the same mind or the rest of your family.  Nudists simply have to accept the fact that not everyone can separate nudity from sexuality.

Conclusion:  Personally, I am not an open practitioner of nudism. It is part of my life but I do so privately, when no one else is around. It is part of my morning routine from the time I get up; through meditation, stretching, breakfast and my shower. I sleep naked and have for decades.  I don’t really have any rational objection to it anymore, nor do I appeal to any authority other than reason and wisdom.  I keep my practice private and to myself. I find it liberating, comforting and spiritually uplifting as a spiritual discipline.

I think that is probably the way most nudism is practiced in western society.  People being comfortable in the privacy of their own homes.  To be honest, we should respect that and it’s none of our concern most of the time.  For the nudist, I would say that it’s OK to be one, but listen to the ravens.  Use your reason and wisdom as you exercise your needs and wants.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Grey Wayfarer (Fantasy Serial) – Chapter 2 – Frigg’s Vision (Frigg)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Frigg stood on the porch of her and her husband’s cabin.  It wasn’t much, just a few rooms and a central chamber with fireplace.  Not that the cold mattered to her or her husband as being immortal, cold was simply a hardship to be endured.  The other two rooms were a large bedroom for her and Odin and another bedroom for guests.

She stood puzzled at her thoughts and feelings that morning, a stern look on her milky white face.  She brushed back her long golden hair as the small but steady breeze kept pushing it in her face.  He ice blue eyes scanning the edge of the woods waiting for her husband’s arrival.  She knew he would be bringing someone with him.  Someone who was going to  change everything. She after all was a practitioner of seidr, the magic of fate.  She didn’t use often anymore.  Knowing the future of a person and their fate was, as she discovered, an awful burden to bear.

She used both hands to brush down her dress which was white and made of a slightly see through fabric. She wove it herself. Her body was perfectly curved and her proportions would have made any artist long for the chance to paint her.  The dress she wore shimmered and on occasion one could see her skin underneath.  Perhaps her sister goddess Freya would smile at her lack of modesty in her choice of dress. Freya being the goddess of sex and love was rarely modest about either subject in both action and words.  Frigg was the mother goddess and so hearth, home and marriage were her domains.  A wife should be modest but she was with her husband alone so modestly was less important.

Frigg however was unconcerned about the opinions of another goddess.  Right now her concern was on a vision she had of her husband finding a body on the beach.  She could see the body of a man whose fate was one to bring change to the gods.  Great Change. She could not as usual see all the details. Only that the man over her husbands shoulders was fated to bring change. What and to what extent she could not say.

In a few moments, two ravens appeared and flew to her.  One landed on her forearm.  Huginn.  He whispered to her and she smiled and nodded.  Huginn flew off and joined his brother Muninn.  In a few more moments, she saw her husband and the wolves round the bend of the beach and start approaching the house.  Odin walked with confidence and assurance of the king of the gods.  Her heart always swelled with pride when she saw her husband.

She frowned when she turned her attention to the naked man he was carrying.  Odin’s wolves ran ahead and greeted Frigg and she greeted them back.  Odin’s stride closed the distance between them.

“Frigg, I have a man who needs your attention.”

“I know, but relax his fate is not to die.  Rest your mind, hansom husband.  Take him inside to the guest room.”

Odin sniffed a short snort and carried the man inside. His wolves followed him in and the ravens flew through the open doorway.  The ravens found their place on the fireplace mantel and the wolves lay by the fire in front of two chairs that faced it.

Odin and Frigg then placed the man under the blankets in the guest bed.  Frigg smiled at the man.  Older but still fit and….well equipped.  Freya her sister would laugh to know her thoughts.  Odin smiled at his wife and Frigg actually blushed.

“Looks like I am going to have to get my wife to forget something she saw tonight.”

“Fear not husband, I was only smiling at what Freya would think of our stranger. But still it has been a few days since we…”

Odin laughed and slapped his wife’s backside to which she blushed again and grinned at him.

“Tell me wife, is he the one?”

“Yes, he is fated to bring great change to the gods.”

“Ragnarok?”

“His thread of life ends at the same time your’s does, my love.”

Odin’s smile faded.  His vision of his end was the eyes and teeth of Fenrir the great wolf.

“My love, that does not mean he will cause Ragnarok, just that he will be there at the end of the world. I caution you my love, remember we can think we are stopping fate by our actions but in truth we are actually making it sure.”

“I know, Fenrir taught me that.”

She nodded.

“What’s wrong with him, my wife?”

“Nothing, there is magic at work here my husband.  I need to open my seeing eye.”

Frigg’s face went blank.  Odin waited knowing that she would see a vision of some sort. He hated this part of it though.  There was always some fear in his heart that the love of his life would stay in that glazed over state forever.  But once again she returned.

She turned to Odin.

“It’s him.  The Grey thread, the Grey Wayfarer.  That amulet has allowed him to cross the barrier into our world from his.”

Odin grunted.  Damn.  So change and perhaps Ragnarok after all.

“Well, there is nothing for it my wife but to set him on the path he must walk.”

Frigg frowned, “I know but…”

“Sorry, my wife.  I believe at long last our end has come.  As you said to fight fate might bring it about and hasten it.”

“Should we tell him when he awakens, my king?”

Odin was taken back.  Frigg never called him ‘my king’ anywhere except in court at Valhalla.

“Nothing my queen.  It would only bring on the risk of hastening fate as well  No, we tell him nothing, equip him and then set him on the path.  He must walk it himself and that will bring about the end quick enough.”

Frigg rose to her feet and then walked to her husband and put her arms around his neck.  She kissed him deeply and his arms when around her.  He pulled her close, and when their kiss broke, she whispered in his ear.

“Take me, my love.  Make love to me like it is the end of the world.”

“I shall my love, because it is.”

Odin scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the room and into their bedroom.  There they made love as only gods who are finally facing mortality can.  After her husband fell asleep, Frigg lay there naked in the darkness for a while but couldn’t sleep.  She left the bed and wandered to the guest room where she looked at the man again.

Tears filled her eyes.  She didn’t know who to weep for more.  The gods who were about to face mortality or the man laying in the bed in front of her.  His fate would end with theirs, but the pain he would suffer would be more than most gods could endure.  Yes, the gods had good reason for sorrow.  But the Grey Wayfarer… may the gods have pity for him.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Of Wolves and Ravens” – How This Works

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

In my introduction last week I probably rushed it a little in one factor of how this “Of Wolves and Ravens” actually works as far as a philosophy.  My main thing will be to take an issue (either political, economic, social or even personal) and working it through the philosophy summed up in the statement – “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens First”.

My point is doing this is to basically create an exercise to engaging this new philosophy for myself.  Hopefully in working through this philosophy, I can provide some insight that you the reader might find beneficial as well.  Today I want to basically expand this philosophy a little with some examples so you the reader can understand what I am talking about in general.  Next week I will pick our first issue.  Each issue will be boiled down to the what we need and want but then engaging some reason and wisdom what is the best course of action.  I am going to use the general topic of Sex as an example.

Needs (Geri): When looking at the need side of things we have to ask ourselves what is needed here?  In the case of Sex, people as a race need to continue.  The real need of sex is procreation.  It might be argued that the entertainment value of sex is also a need but the issue of a need from a human point of view is about survival. Sex allows the human race to survive and go on.  Sex needs to take place for this to happen. If we look at organisms and their needs water, food and procreation top the list for all living things and for humans one of these is procreation and sex is what we do to make that happen. No one, but the most extreme view would argue that the wolf of need for procreation needs to be fed.

Wants (Freki): We humans though like sex and want it.  While some people want it for the procreative action as people do want to have children, the main thing about want and sex is that we enjoy the pleasure of it.  Sex in and of itself is not evil or bad, so us wanting it is not wanting something bad either.  The pleasure of sex is something good, we could conclude as it makes people feel better about life. It is OK to feed Freki when it comes to sex as it fills a desire and there is nothing inherently wrong with fulfilling a desire. It’s OK to feed the Wolves.  It’s OK to have sex because it is enjoyable and it leads to the continuation of the human race.

Reason (Huginn): The real problem though is we must first listen to the Ravens before we make that choice. The one thing we need to think about is what are the consequences of sexual activity?  Well this probably where I would note that ‘Sex’ as a topic might be a little broad but let’s continue.  Mostly the issue here is unwanted pregnancy but that goes back to wants and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).  The question of unwanted pregnancies is a large issue and involves other issues such as abortion, religion and economics but this can be curbed quite a bit in the modern world if people use effective birth control.  STDs are largely controlled by certain birth control methods but let’s be fair here – there is one benefit of sexual fidelity either abstinence or faithfulness to a single partner – the risk of STDs is near null.  Reason says that effective birth control coupled by basic fidelity and caution might kick the two major concerns about sex out of the picture. at least for the most part.

Wisdom (Muninn): On a wisdom side of things, we deal with relationships.  In western society it is a rare man or woman who doesn’t have a problem with jealousy.  Rape is also an issue here because the issue of mutual consent is a Wisdom issue. Sex is not something you take from others, nor can we avoid the fact that human nature causes both men and women to eventually look for an exclusive sexual relationship.  Not all cultures are this way, so each one would have to be considered but in our society if you go sleeping around the other person is probably going to get upset and a breakup is probably in your future.  Some people can be open about this in their relationships, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule.  There are a lot of issues I could continue to talk about here and I can definitely say that the subject of sex is too broad a topic to handle in one post, but I hope you get the idea.

Conclusion:

At this point I might wrap things up with a conclusion.  Mostly when it comes to the subject of sex, my advice would be to be safe, respectful and communicate so boundaries are understood. There is a lot more here but for example purposes, I hope it helps you understand what “Of Wolves and Ravens” is going to be about.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!