The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and The Wayfarer (Part 5) – A Time of Memories

January 31, 2019January 31, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

It is hard to believe but I haven’t written a The Grey and the Wayfarer post since early Yuletide. I have been busy enough; I think, to keep The Grey at least in check in my life and continue to walk the path. Recent days have seen a change in my mind I guess and mostly it is due to the fact that at this time last year, I began to start a time of year that is now a bittersweet memory. Mostly bitter in the end. It is not just a time of memory and struggle for me, but for my wife as well. There is a flood of emotions about these memories for both of us and they run the whole spectrum, but mostly I notice that they have a depressive effect for me.

I think the best way to walk this path through The Grey is to firstly know that these memories are not just going to go away. Ignoring them will not help me; nor will pretending they do not exist. That just leads to a worse mental state and that is not going to help. There is a lot of guilt associated with many of them now, and I need to work through them to get over that. Personally, I know it is going to be rough but I need to walk through it to make myself a better man on the other side of it.

The second thing I think needs to happen is that new good memories need to be created. I have two significant milestones coming up during this time: 1) My 50th birthday – personally I don’t care if it celebrated, and I am not sure given last year who would come to such a thing, but it is a significant thing to be a half a century old. 2) My wife and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary on June 10th. Given that we spent last anniversary apart, I think it is very important that we celebrate this one and do it together. I guess I would rather see a celebration here by family as well for a lot of reasons. Mostly we need a celebration of our love for each other.

In the meantime, every day is a journey of another step toward where I want to be. There are many forks and crossroads ahead. I need to make wise decisions as to which path to take. The problem of course with The Grey, and why I am taking it pretty seriously right now, is that it is like an overcast sky that can make the things unclear and not as illuminated as they could be as I choose which path to take. It is why I stick to my plans and goals with discipline, despite what I feel at times, so I keep moving.

The one writing note I have at this time is that I am planning on doing some fiction writing soon. It has just been a little difficult to get my Muse to kick my ass into gear about it. I don’t know, she might be asleep or on vacation. In any case though, I have a lot of time off from work next week; and unless that changes, I plan on filling that with school, continuing my job search and writing fiction.

Thanks to all that read this blog. You are appreciated.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Finding Peace and Rest (Part 1)

January 28, 2019January 28, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day.

Journal Entry:

The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) for me are about peace and rest in the end. It is about putting yourself into a position to be free to the point where there is nothing but peace. The NNV are about achieving this warrior’s peace. They may be a warrior code but the end result; the end desire is peace. It is the image of the honorable king on his throne. His acts of courage have cause his enemies to sue for peace and his commitment to truth means his people trust him. He and his realm are at rest, peace and growing in prosperity.

The Foundational Virtues achieve this in a multitude of ways, but mostly they end anxiety and worry. Honor means you are at peace with yourself and no longer are anxious about your inner battles. Courage means you act instead of worrying about things. Truth means you are not anxious about what you understand and believe. You know you pursue what is honorable, courageous and true so there is little to fear when it comes to inner conflict, cowardice or lies unless they are in others. You simply know and are at peace that you are honorable, courageous and truthful.

This week has a simple goal. To complete as many things as possible each day but also to introduce some rewards for completion of the day, so it is in my best interest to start living things. The planning and all the organization is mostly over. There will be small adjustments to be sure and a growing understanding of what I am doing, but the skeleton of my vision for myself is finished. Now it is simply time to flesh it out by living it.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

The meditation each morning has really started to help with my sense of inner honor and peace. I have gotten to the point also where I can move through life and don’t give a shit what dishonorable people think about me. But I also value people and their opinions when I can see honor in them. I don’t know if I have achieved everything here; but I feel like I have achieved a level of honor, and I am looking to try to build to the next one.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I have actually acted in courage a lot this past week. There were people to talk to and confront about certain issues and I have done that. I don’t know what the results will be, but I have don what needed to be done at the right time. I still have some people who try to push this Alpha Wolf around. They find it more difficult than they think and it is amusing to me. I working on making sure this doesn’t spill over into asshole behavior as I try to respect the humanity of others no matter who they are. But if you don’t respect me; well that’s not my problem, but it will be yours if you take it too far with me. I accept the loneliness tha goes along with some of this but that’s the price of being a wolf instead of a sheep.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

The truth that is most challenging is the one you find in the mirror. That said, I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror anymore. That’s the truth of it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

I find a great deal of peace these days in the arms of my wife. The love we are growing has old roots but it has new branches and that is very good. It pulls everything together when I am holding her. The king needs his queen’s love and that is particularly true for me.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals and Bucket List
Meditation
Full Body Stretch
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

Thus routine is getting more and more automatic. The meditation time is becoming more productive and focused and so another goal is achieved here. Of all my routines it is the one with the least problems, if any.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

This is the stuff that makes life worth living. I need to look at it that way and I think something will cross itself off of here very soon.

Weightlifting:

Until I have a new job and know where I am working for a while, the gym question is a little problematic. I probably could solve this problem by building up a set of dumbbells slowly over time as I can afford them plus a compact but functional weight bench. It isn’t the best equipment for what I do, but it would save time and be versatile.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Robin Williams – What We Stay Alive For

January 27, 2019January 27, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here. We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it. Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it. Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Blame Canada” by Robin Williams (South Park)

One of my favorite moments of Robin’s career and oddly enough a song I have been singing from time to time these days. I play a lot of a PC game called The Long Dark. it basically an apocalypse simulator where a freak magnetic storm destroys all electronics and your plane crashes in the Canada wilderness. You task is simply to survive as long as possible. As I am trekking along trying to find the next resource to survive I find myself on occasion remembering this song and singing the verse of it.

Poem: “Slow Dying Flower (poem about Robin Williams)” by Shay Callow

He was the brightest star the world had ever seen,
but no star can burn bright forever, although that was unforeseen.
He was a man who brought joy to all those around him,
so that he never had to show them how his life was grim.
He made them laugh until their stomachs hurt,
even though inside he was full of despair, sadness and disconcert.
Like a clown, his smile was painted on,
only when he removed it did you see the wretchedness in his deep blue eyes; that’s when it dawned
that he was a slow dying flower,
fading petal by petal and losing power
until the day he’d been poisoned enough by this ghastly world,
and he died once and for all by his own hand – that’s when the truth of his life really unfurled.

Meditation:

Song of Preparation: ‘Why Do We Read and Write Poetry’ by Robin Williams (scene from Dead Poets Society).

I figured the man who said the quote today should be the one to say it. plus he adds his own commentary which is nice. It is a great disappointment to me that Robin didn’t win the best actor award in a leading role. He should have with this performance.

Text: What We stay Alive For – Robin Williams

“Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

Robin Williams – “Dead Poets Society”

Sermon:

“O captain, my captain!” I can’t tell you how much the Dead Poets Society shaped my life. I still difficulty watching it as it is very sad, but if has a theme it is what Robin’s character is trying to get across the entire movie – seize the day, live life, find something that makes life worth living. Write your verse and make it a good one.

I have long taken the message of this movie to heart and this quote reminds me of something I need to remember. There are many things we do to sustain our lives but there also needs to be the things we live for otherwise life isn’t worth a damn. There are many things that are noble pursuits but if you can’t get up and have something to live for then you’re going to struggle.

In my life right now i have spent a lot of time setting goals and establishing the discipline I need to achieve them. But I can’t say the overall aim is simply to live. To exist. There is something in life we must have a a passion for or the reason to live will run out and we will find ourselves much like Robin himself. With no reason to continue.

I for all I am worth that no matter what life throws at me I remember that what I may be doing in life that is noble and good, I remember I need something to stay alive for. So reason beyond life’s purpose being life itself. To go from being alive to living life. May we all find that.

Closing Song: Friend like Me – Robin Williams from Aladdin

I don’t know that I will ever be able to look at Aladdin the same way again or in particular the genie without thinking of Robin Williams. This performance and animation are some of his best work. It is a pretty unforgettable song

Parting Thought:

If I take any inspiration from Robin’s life it is to always make sure I get up and not give up on myself. Something we all need to remember.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Problems with Christianity – The ‘Christian Nation’ Myth

January 24, 2019January 24, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I have book on my shelves called “The Myth of a Christian Nation” by Gregory Boyd. I know there is a rebuttal book out there to it and one day I have plans on reading both of them, but I stand with Boyd on this issue. I have read many of the founding fathers and there was little said at the founding of the nation about it being a Christian one. In fact part of the issue with the first amendment is this very thing – preventing any state religion including Christianity. No matter how much Christians would desire this to be true, it is not. If anything this is a deist nation or a secular one by design.

In truth at the founding of the country under the current constitution, Christian preachers actually decried the fact that the document didn’t make Christianity the state religion. The called the government it created ‘godless’. What we have is a nation founded on enlightenment principles which would make us more deistic and not Christian at all, as deists in general distrust religion including Christianity.

Most of this mythology can actually be traced back the 1950s. Yes, that recent because that is the time when people still fresh with the accomplishments of WWII with its patriotic fervor and feelings of threat from ‘godless communism”. To combat this a lobbying movement started to do a lot of things, but some of the results were “under God’ in the pledge of allegiance; which basically excludes those who don’t believe, and “In God We Trust” which replaced “Mind Your Business” on the money.

The results of this is a generation who grew up with both of these things and many of them will tell you they have always been there; but they haven’t. Personally the old pledge was far more inclusive and the motto “Mind Your Business” would have been a better lesson of “Mind Your OWN Business” which would probably lead to less offended people these days.

The main issue for me is as I watch Christians, is that they use this myth to justify political involvement. To press a Christian agenda on the nation like they were trying to get it back to its roots. The roots of this nation were never Christian to begin with and the problems this has caused far outweighed the benefits. It pretty much has caused more division in the nation than it ever has unity. I realize I am suggesting that perhaps Christians would be better off dropping the myth and most of them will not listen, but the truth of it is – the Christian nation myth is just that a myth. Believing in mythology as if it is fact has never done anyone any good.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

The painful truth is you cannot make anyone believe something by force. No matter what draconian measures are taken to order people’s behaviors, their beliefs will always remain their own. Their thoughts and feeling on things are their own. Faith cannot be forced and it is the height of folly to think otherwise. People believe what they want to believe and to try to make them believe something else by force is sheer folly. You can only cause outward behavior to line up with your faith’s moral rules. This does not have the effect that is intended; which it to make the person believe, but rather it creates resentment and often underground activities that break those moral codes. The moment people can shake those moral codes off they do. Religious dictatorships end in revolution and rejection as historically they are the most brutal along side of communist ones.

Religion:

Historically, there is really only one reason to claim something is about God and that it to give you such moral authority, that people never question your real motives. Christians invoking the Christian nation myth, often claim that their actions are trying to get the nation back to its roots. But the root of this nation are deistic and rational, not Christian and emotional. Christians use the myth (which is a falsehood) to secure certain support politically and this is more about marrying their religion to the state which is something the 1st amendment strictly forbids.

Theology:

I have never been sure about the theology of this. Part of Catholic theology has had the theology of violent overthrow of government that oppressive, but this theology has never been official sanctioned. On the flip side if one can through democratic means enlist this idea then the church has never been reluctant to join themselves to the state with past theologies like the divine right of kings and for Protestants in America – manifest destiny. Almost always the theological paring of faith and state has disastrous consequences for some other group of people who the people of faith dislike. They then use the state to not only do the dirty work of oppression but often engage in murder, theft and rape while they do so.

Theologically speaking, Christians some to forget that whole ‘love thy neighbor’ commandment. Through their marriage to the state they can eliminate their enemies and opponents using the state, while all the while claiming to love the people they are eliminating. It’s a relationship that allows power while at the same time claiming something else. No church-state marriage has ended without they happy couple destroying someone else that the church claims to love, while at the same time sanctioning the state doing the killing.

Spirituality:

I don’t have time for this anymore. My main concern as a deist is that all faiths have equal voice and that no one faith gains so much power it can eliminate the others. Spiritually my humanism hits here as well. I was Born on Earth, I am one member of the human race. My politics are to be free and let others be free as well. My religion is simply to love. Yeah, that sounds actually like more of what the founders were aiming for and doesn’t involve propagating the mythology of the United States being a Christian Nation.

Conclusion:

I used start each church service with the pledge of allegiance, and we were very patriotic. I however knew for a long time that the Christian nation thing was a new addition historically. I am ultimately glad to be rid of it. It doesn’t need to be Christian nation to be a good nation. It needs to respect my rights and liberties and the rights and liberties of my fellow citizens more than anything else. Part of that is not allowing Christianity to be the state religion because as always it will abuse such power. This myth is one of the ways it seeks such power and it needs to be called out for what it is – mythology.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Truth: Love’s Joy

January 22, 2019January 22, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day:

Discussion:

If there is a holdover from my days as a Christian it is the connection between truth and love that is found in 1 Corinthians 13:6. The idea that truth is something that love rejoices in is very real to me. Of the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Truth is probably the most challenging in terms of thinking of it in love, because we often think we are more loving by protecting others or ourselves by not facing or revealing the truth. Nothing is less true. Lies are not loving actions. They are protective ones, but they are not loving ones.

There is a challenge here as the virtue of truth says it is better to be silent than to not tell the truth. But sometimes silence is the lie. You have to be careful here as sometimes as painful as the truth may be; it needs to be said or the silence of it perpetuates other lies.

Truth is something that loving people share with each other and being offended at the truth shows a lack of love. With all the political correctness and people getting offended at things, you probably now know where I stand on all that. If your offended, then you have no love there. Love is indeed patient, not easily offended. Truth is something that challenges that on a regular basis. Truth has the potential to offend as I have discovered on several occasions blogging.

People have their prejudices; that’s all of us by the way. Everyone has their biases and everyone objectifies. It isn’t about race, creed or sex on this on;, it is simply a fact of being human. This is a truth that first must be faced by yourself and toward yourself. Facing your own prejudices and how you objectify others is something that is a constant battle. Too many people take one of two tactics, either to deny their existence or to claim has arrived to a higher plane where they are no longer there. Or worse they justify them.

Objectification is particularly daunting because we do it probably every day and often to people we claim to love. Spouses objectify each other, siblings, parents to children. When you stop seeing people as human, and see them as an object to gratify your needs then you have crossed the line.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

We need truth, because it allows us to go forward to achieving what we need without objectifying others. There is a connection here between Need and Reason that truth provides. Our need to love and be loved has to have truth or we cannot reasonably approach the subject of how to fulfill our needs without exploitation of another’s rights. You will never be loving if you don’t face the truth about your relationships with others. Truth is needed or its is just one big game of objectification.

Wants (Freki):

We also want the truth, but we also want comfort and security. This is probably the main reason we lie. We don’t want to offend but in so doing we are objectifying the other person assuming they will be a problem and be offended at what we have to say. I suppose in our culture these days this is an easy assumption to make. But being offended and fearing to offend are equally objectification.

We want truth because it cuts through both of these things and gets to the real healing and often progress in meeting our needs and wants.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason cannot function in lies. It just can’t. Reason requires truth to function and make sound decisions. Reason simple faces the truth and draws conclusions. It is why being a reasonable person is a loving action. Not cold, like some would say, driven by pure logic. Reason is connected to truth and truth is the joy of love. Love sees the truth and then engages reason to genuinely help. in this era of feelings first this needs to be stated over and over again. Feelings cannot make right to wrong decisions, they are just feelings. reason guided by truth will always lead to loving decisions.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that this connection between Love, Truth and Reason needs to be constantly respected and kept in balance. Truth becomes the pivot point between Reason and Love. Decisions become based in truth so they are both beneficial and yet compassionate. Wisdom respects Truth’s efforts to keep both in balance.

Conclusion:

I knew when I set up my progression though the NNV that Truth would be one of the more difficult. Combine that with the fact I connected it the Higher Virtue of Love and you create a large and very difficult pair of concepts to grasp. Abstract doesn’t even begin to describe the difficulty. That said both of these ideas are why I believe something is out there beyond the biology and physics. Truth is a little bit more than biological and physical facts. Just like that which takes joy in it – Love.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – How to Deal with Illness

January 21, 2019January 21, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day.

Journal Entry:

I spent the majority of the weekend in bed. I even called in to work to tell you how bad it was. Except I have learned that the best way for me to handle things when I am sick is to rest and sleep as much as possible. Let my body have all the resources it needs to fight off whatever it is and then I recover quicker.

When it comes to my routines, meditation, etc. It pretty much goes out the window that day. Some things take precedence over those things and recovery of health is one of them. That said, I woke up Sunday, did my morning routine and headed out the door to work. I wasn’t 100 percent but I was capable of working so there I went. My hope was hope was to get back home and rest some more.

That said some meditation found its way to my sick-bed. It is strange the things you think of when you are sick and perhaps it is best not to dwell on anything too much in that state of mind. Nothing positive will come of it. But Meditation was used to calm myself down a couple of times and relax so I could rest. The point of routines is to develop strengths that you can use in moments of crisis or struggle and sickness is a little of both.

I started the week coming out of sickness but still managed to go the first day pretty strong but probably resting and sleeping more than I wished.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I think one of the hardest things to do while sick is maintain a positive attitude. You really have those moments of challenging your self-worth or honor. it is hard to see the end of things when sick, like certain sicknesses will end eventually. It’s probably the only positive thing you can think of at the time – ‘this too will pass’.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

I don’t know if courage counts while sick unless you are facing something major and life threatening. The normal flu and colds are mostly a matter of Perseverance. But I have to say when you feel sick and have to function and do so I might take an action of courage to keep going.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

Truth. I am not immortal. I am not invulnerable. I am not super man. I am human and subject to human frailty. Hard lessons every time I am sick but lessons I need to remind myself of each day.

Higher Virtue: Love:

My wife is a saint when I am sick. I ask very little of her because I don’t want to be one of those men who is a big baby when he is sick. That said, she often does a lot of things on her own to help me and take care of me. I have to say there is a lot of love to it and for that I am very grateful. I always plan to return that when she is sick.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Review Goals and Bucket List
Meditation
Full Body Stretch
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

Major adjustments here are the removal of Breakfast and Supplements and Medications which are now part of the evening routine. Meditation is now more ‘formal’ but also more focused on what it needs to be.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

I think number 2 is up first. then number 6 for the second half of the year. I just need a better job with more income to make the first happen.

Weightlifting:

I don’t know, the problem of getting a new gym is made more complicated by the fact that I have no idea where my new job might be. This would have a tremendous bearing on that subject. I don’t want my new gym to just be a temporary place but a new gym home and that means I would have to have some sense of permanence to both my work and life which is something I don’t have right now. I might simply have consider what I can do at home for minimal cost.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Skald Tales and Poems – Poem – “Soul Blood”

January 14, 2019January 15, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

“Soul Blood”

I remember in the heat of summer,

where blood poured from my soul.

Wounds received from terrible blades

from the front, behind and within.

Shades of crimson flecked with gold

Pooling beneath my feet and pouring over my hands

As they tried to stop the bleeding.

Vainly they tried.

Weak I was on my knees

Destroyed and anemic

My heart slowing

Empty, alone, dying

Echos of the voices that wielded the blades – mocking me

A good friend becomes betrayer

A lover becomes a stranger

My own silent faith, echoing in my ears.

For days I bled, with no hope.

Until the one I betrayed saw my wounds

She did not raise her own blade in vengeance

Rather she touched my soul with her healing hand.

The bleeding stopped just in time.

Her own soul blood poured into me and restored my soul

She closed the wounds with stitches of compassion

I now bleed no more.

The scars remain forever

Reminders of who wasn’t true.

But my soul’s blood pumps strong once more

Reminding me of she who became my Eir

A Poem by Edward W. Raby, Sr. – January 14th, 2019

Author Notes:

O have written this poem over the last week or so. Finishing it on the 14th of January 2019.

In this poem I have been trying to capture the feelings of the month of August 2018. Feelings that are strong and were at the time devastating. I came up with the title of soul-blood as a way describe it. I then ran with the concept.

Emotionally this was difficult as one as on the one hand every time I write a poem I am reminded of the person who helped me understand and write them better. “Lover becomes a stranger” is her line and it still hurts to think on it. The scar throbs when I write a poem because of her, so to speak.

One the other hand, I have for the first time ever in this poem truly used my wife as an inspiration for the poem. She is my Eir. Eir being the Valkyrie known for her healing ability. My wife became my Eir that month. She has been so ever since and of all people she had the least reason to take on that role. The Valkyrie I waited for at the time was her in the end.

Hope you enjoy this poem and I always appreciate comments on my poems as I still am very new to this.

Thanks for reading,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Unlocking My Meditation

January 14, 2019January 14, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day.

Journal Entry:

This week I am looking a tweaking certain things about my routines so I am going to look at each journal post and see what needs to be tweaked. Under Foundation Virtues is some discussion my Morning Routine and Bucket List and oddly enough they are going to go together. The way they are going together is through meditation.

One of my only concerns with the Morning Routine has been meditation. I originally thought what I need to do is formalize things a bit. Make them more structured. I think that will happen, but I now feel I shouldn’t look at it that way. I would rather look at it as making changes to unlock the potential of mediation for myself.

What I picture is meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues, picking one principle from one of them to meditate on, then meditating on one of my goals, and one bucket list item. This would involve a nine-day rotation. It would then end with emptying my mind and doing a basic relaxation technique. I have nine virtues, nine goals and nine principles. The only problem is I have ten bucket list items so it would involve removing one of them.

I have been debating the use of aids on this. Most notably a candle and a symbol focus. The symbol focus I have used and it would probably be the Valknut. I am thinking a medallion that after meditation I can wear around my neck as a constant reminder. The candle is also a focus I have used in the past and it a powerful one where I have gotten so lost in meditation that I lose track of time. I am going to try a candle with a timer from my smart phone to offset this potential ‘problem’. Position has always been an issue and I am going to go lotus for a while. It usually hurts my knees but mostly I think that is because I am not used to it.

So far there are several things I do that are going to stay. 1) Nine Noble Virtues – Meditation on a virtue or virtues really works. It definitely is a much higher thing to meditate, on than what I want to do that day. I may however add meditation on the higher virtues as well. 2) Nudity – I have to say there is something very beneficial about literally throwing off all encumbrance, including clothing, to meditate. No clothes and the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band. There is something very liberating, free and open about this state when meditating.

The main goal now is to unlock the potential of this part of my morning routine so that I gain insight, enlightenment, a positive mental state and motivation from it. The ultimate goal is to have a highly effective ten minutes of meditation that accomplishes all of this regularly.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

Meditation has also been very instrumental in getting me back into a more positive attitude and mental state about my future and giving me that much-needed self-examination that leads to a sense of self-worth. A sense of honor is something I have gained while meditating.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Sometimes the right thing to do and when to do it is not clear. I have found mediation to be the key at times in discovering both. Then all that remains is to actually act and meditation can steel my heart to do that. Meditation helps with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I cannot underestimate the number of times clarity, enlightenment, insight and other things like this have been part of my mediation results. Truth has been unlocked at certain times, and for that I am very grateful.

Higher Virtue: Love:

A feeling of well-being and a feeling of being loved and loving are sometimes very present in my meditation times. I guess in many ways it is how I have learned to love my wife more and more each day. It has at least been a tool for unlocking my understanding of my love for her and I would say some of the same mental state of openness and freedom has slipped over into the times we make love as well. Love of life and the world around me is a very present feeling when I meditate as well and I want to unlock that further.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Meditation
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

I have made the line for meditation just that. The process inside of this simple word will be written down in my paper journal until it becomes more automatic. Much of what happens in routines is that I have to follow what I want by looking at a list at first. This can be clumsy and awkward at first but the more I do it, the more natural it becomes. Meditation changes will be like that too but I think it will be worth it.

As a side note my meditation time spills over into my full body stretch and I am thinking of doing some more yoga type stretches with this.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.

Removed starting my own business. As I look to the future this bucket list item will be a goal under something involving my career eventually. It will make its way to my goal list eventually so it isn’t really gone, just shifted in timing and placement.

Weightlifting:

This is one activity that meditation is a big part of when I do it. Every set is preceded by a mental focusing and as the set is being done, mental focus is very important. It is this meditational aspect that I miss just as much as the challenge of the iron. I will hopefully get back to this soon. I have the money now to get a gym membership going at least.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – Adding Love

January 7, 2019January 7, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day.

Journal Entry:

Love is an interesting virtue. I said in the pagan pulpit yesterday that it is a motivating force for many people but it is not the best one. I am not; however, dismissing its value as an overarching consideration in decisions. It is OK to be motivated by love as long as it is done freely. Adding the virtue to the foundational virtues is a natural fit.

Honor, Courage and Truth can be seen as virtues that express different aspects of Love. Honor is love of self. Courage is acting bravely in love of something one considers valuable or sacred. Truth – well even the Bible says love rejoices in truth to which I would agree.

The problem is defining love. There are many ways to look at love and languages reflect this difficulty, as almost all languages and cultures have multiple definitions of love and how those words and definitions can be used. Below is a thought I read that I think reflects the problem.

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Rather than having a definition that will restrict my understanding of love, I will leave it open and perhaps the many facets of love can be explored. mostly I want the theme of love to be used to evaluate the other three virtues listed here. Honor, Courage and Truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – Be positive about my future

I do have a very positive outlook right now about the future. Right now my wife describes our life as ‘dull’, but I am glad for the simple normality of it. I do however have a desire for something better in the sense of prosperity and comfort for the both of us, but mostly I am looking at myself and our relationship more positively. I look to the future a lot more than the past. I see things better and better each day and that is the product of a developing sense of honor.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

It is time t put myself back out there with a new direction in mind. I am back to boarding the viking ship and setting a course. A new course for my life and who I am. I embrace this with courage and I am actually a lot happier right now than I have been in a while. It is time to act on that feeling and do so with courage.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – Pursue knowledge, wisdom and truth at all times.

I find that I either speak the truth, which is actually quite rare or I say nothing. Perhaps one could say I speak a lot through blogging. This however is well thought out speech and carefully crafted. Writing is like that. Mostly though truth is about pursuing what is true and wise. It is not so much that I arrive at truth or wisdom or knowledge but that I am on a journey to discover it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

In my Christian Days I cold easily just turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and had a definition of love that was given to me. My problem with this definition even though I think it does define some aspects of love perfectly, is that it leaves out the physical side of love which in my mind is still important. There is a reason why we call sex – lovemaking.

Trying to come up with a definition that is more encompassing of all aspects of love is very difficult. I am not really going to try.

I simply will say at this point that every time I have a sense of honor about myself, that every time I act in courage and that every time I pursue truth that these are acts of love. This little section will chronicle each week what I discover though these actions.

Morning Routine:

Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) and Principles
Meditate on the Virtues
Review Goals
Review Bucket List
Full Body Stretch
Breakfast
Supplements and Medicines
Shower and Personal Hygiene
Get Dressed for the Day

Solid part of the day every morning. Meditation is a little off right now because I want to make it more formal but I am still think as to how to do that. It may involve rearranging my office area a little.

Bucket List:

Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.
Get My Tattoos.
Actually Get Drunk.
Smoke a Joint.
Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Write My Novel.
Learn Latin.
Learn Hungarian.
Weightlifting – Bench 225 lbs, Squat 315 lbs, and Deadlift 405 lbs.
Start my own business

I need a systematic plan here. I am thinking that number 2 and number 6 are the most likely this year. To do these require money for the tattoos to be saved and the novel require regular writing. I could also add as a backup number 7 Latin as I have the books to do that already. Need to start acting on these.

Mostly though I want to create a collage to put on my wall with representations of all of them. Something more visual to remind me of them. That may be the first step.

Weightlifting:

I am going to join a gym this week or early next. I can’t take not lifting anymore so I am just going to do it and make the adjustments as needed. I have lost well over a month of gains and I need to fix that.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Pursuing Virtue

January 1, 2019January 1, 2019 / Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day. Hope you had a great Yuletide. First post of the year 2019.

I remember the day I walked out of my church for the last time. I was on my way to deliver my resignation but I had stopped at the church to make sure I had everything from there. I picked up a few things and then stood in the pulpit behind the lectern one more time. It was one of those moments I probably will never forget. Just me behind on a pulpit I had mounted countless times to talk about sin and salvation. I guess you could say that the moment I walked away from that pulpit was the moment I walked away from Christianity. It was symbolic for me at least of a change in philosophy and belief.

My main thought as I locked the door behind me for the last time was “So, what are you going to live for now?” The question indicates a desire for purpose; that is for life mission. I had been interested in viking myth, history and culture for a long time and ran accidentally into the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru (NNV). As I read more about it, I realized the set of virtues was just what I needed for foundational framework for a new philosophy for living.

More recently I discovered three other virtues as I went through the nights of Yuletide: Love. Justice and Wisdom. The odd thing is that I had seen these in passing but I never really saw them dwelt on until the 12 nights of Yuletide as I read about that. Of course I can see the value of these virtues and at the same time I can see that they are pretty universal and perhaps ‘higher’. The question of purpose then seems to be more clear.

I have divided the nine noble virtues into three groups classified as foundational, business and self. But I can also see that the virtues could be divided as love, justice and wisdom. Love being the foundation virtue. Justice being the nature of how we are trying conduct the business dealings of our life. Wisdom reflects the desire to handle Self so we growing in understanding and personal strength. I want to think on these three some more and incorporate them in my weekly thoughts. Probably the weekly recap as they would give my final thoughts on the week some needed direction.

Basically I am seeing these three virtues as the skeleton on which the other nine are the muscles that make them work, if that analogy makes sense. But on to the Wolves and Ravens concerning virtue.

Needs (Geri):

Why do I need to pursue virtue? It is best interest of each person to improve themselves. We need to do this because those who do not stagnate and eventually die. We also in my opinion need a foundational philosophy that is the basis for all our decisions, so there is consistency. One of the things I have to say now is that Christianity never gave that to me. I will talk more about why in a moment.

Mostly though Need, the wolf Geri, is about necessity and part of the necessity of being a human being is to have a life’s purpose or mission. Without it, how do you differentiate yourself from being an animal? For me this has been a struggle of need. As I switch off Christian philosophy which is inconsistent, how do I switch on something that is less hypocritical?

Part of our need I think is to develop this foundation philosophy ourselves. However, most of us instead of taking the time and putting in the effort to do so, turn to religion to do it for us and then wonder why we struggle. The reason we struggle is because the ‘one size fits all’ that most religions give to others, does not work for everyone. It is this working on our own philosophy for ourselves I think now that meets this foundational need. Running to religion is us just avoiding this need and justifying ethical and moral laziness.

Wants (Freki):

What I want is a philosophy that causes me to pursue something better for myself and those I love. One that motivates me to make a better life for myself. That harnesses the wolf of want (Freki) and uses it to make me act. The problem with Christians philosophy is it focuses too much on this made up concept of sin. You are constantly struggling between feeling guilty and trying to achieve virtue. This is why it naturally leads to hypocrisy. You are trying to achieve virtue in Christianity, but the doctrine of sin always allows an escape out. “Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet” or “I can’t help it I sin every day” or “I am just bound to my sin, I can’t escape it.” and other expressions dot the Christian phraseology as excuses for failure to be consistent. I don’t want that dichotomy anymore because I think by its very nature it leads to the justified hypocrisy you see in Christianity.

What I ultimately want is a philosophy that focuses on positive progress and gives an honest assessment of human desire, not as righteous or sinful, but whether such desires are normal, beneficial or detrimental and how such desires can be rationally and wisely handled. Pursuing virtue does just that, I can mark progress but can also accept who I am as a human being without looking at my human nature as sinful or evil.

Reason (Huginn):

Basically when I engage reason, the raven Huginn, on this topic of virtue, my favorite Marcus Aurelius quote comes out.

The main thing is the last line: You will be gone but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I would also say it allows you to be live the best life for yourself while alive. It brings the most benefit to you and that is important.

These days when I am doing something and someone says I shouldn’t, I ask them for a rational reason why what I am doing is not virtuous? If they can’t answer then they need to back off or come up with a reason. I don’t want to hear about your god or holy book. I want to hear how what I am doing is not beneficial to myself or it is somehow genuinely harmful to others. If they can’t do that: then perhaps that person might simple realize they are using some made up moral code to justify being judgmental of others without working on improving themselves. There is nothing virtuous about holding others to a standard that is neither rational or you don’t keep yourself.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Wisdom says that I need to continue to pursue virtue then. I get what I need and want for myself and those I love without harming others in the process. I also then am rationally pursing self-improvement with being judgmental of others as virtue says I work on me first and help others, not judge them. I accept where I am but also seek to improve myself to be better. I don’t spend a lot of time wallowing in self-pity or guilt because neither of those things help me improve. I eliminate excuses for not being better instead of justifying them with excuses, like I am a sinner and cant help myself. These reasons along with many more are why I pursue virtue alone and thus embrace the wisdom of them. Both the NNV and the Higher Virtues provide the basic framework for that pursuit.

Conclusion:

As the weeks of this new year continue, I will through this platform called Of Wolves and Ravens be looking at more individual virtues and various aspects of philosophy. The aim is the same which is ethical and moral improvement for myself. If on this journey you walk with me a little ways and discover something that helps you as well, then bonus for both of us.

Until next time,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

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