Wisdom

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Perseverance

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I look at my life I can say if there is any virtue more natural to me than Perseverance, I don’t know what it is. Getting up off the ground is a skill I have mastered and I must say it is part natural and part encoded into me through four years of high school football.  “Get off the ground”, “Coyotes never quit.” etc. pounded in my every practice and every play. It has become a lifestyle.

I know someday I may fall and not get back up.  That came very close to happening last year. But I winced in pain and stood back up and kept walking.  The Grey Wayfarer was born at that moment and to be honest was born of pure stubborn will to succeed or at least survive.

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

It is the best possible definition I can think of.  There are many, but this one just makes it simple and succinct.

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Yep.  Like this too.  No better way to put it.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

This basically combines two of my previous goals into one goal.  It puts a full package and balanced exercise plan to work to improve my health.  Along with Nutrition this is about improving my health and gaining long term health.  All of these activities not only require perseverance to stick with, but also build strength, endurance and flexibility – key components of perseverance.  It just makes sense to me for this goal to be this way.

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My tattoos are going to be about my journey,  so they don’t have to come all at once.  They are also a measure of prosperity in my mind as I would use money that is more disposable income to get them. In any case I am taking a long view on this issue and setting a deadline. My list changes from time to time but there have been some consistent points.  I will probably talk more about this next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Looking at this diet question I don’t have a lot of time to really work on it, but the main issue is it being a Full Paleo Diet plan.  Now when I say that, I make exceptions for a few things.  There will probably be a cheat meal once per week. Special occasions will allow for alcohol and addition cheat meals.  But mostly I am struggling with dairy. I will think on it some more.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Seeing the whole picture here means a visual representation of perseverance in my body – it’s health and how it looks. To build through perseverance a body worth putting art on is what you see here.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

By the time I get to Fidelity next week, I will either be very clear what should be here or completely lost. The wife, family and friends orientation will have to be present. The goal might still be on my list, but the bucket list is empty here. Another thing to think on.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I think this realignment has been one of the wiser things I have done.  It really is bringing things into focus and that is good.  I think it also is going to bring my routines in line with everything as well.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

Going to have to bring this into more compliance with everything.  Next week is all about finalizing the realignment and getting the routines to actually do things that head toward my goals and the bucket list.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Honestly, I think this routine might die.  I think I would be better served in putting the things on it on other routines. If all I do is brush my teeth and go to bed that’s not a routine, that is just a smart thing to do.

Nutrition:

This is going to disappear after today. It’s under discipline with the goal, so I no longer need a separate section.

Weekly Recap:

Name change – Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved.  And that is what this is going to do.  Keep track of the number of each and what they were.  I expect both of them to grow.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Eastern Philosophy – The Code of Bushido

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Eastern Philosophy is a large subject.  It stretches over several different cultures.  Middle Eastern, Islamic, Chinese, Japanese, etc. all have their philosophical schools and viewpoints.  If there is a commonality to Eastern Philosophy it is focus more on community and oneness with the universe.  In western philosophy people overcome surroundings.  In eastern philosophy, one becomes one’s surroundings if that makes any sense.

I am not going not dive into the metaphysical sea that is eastern philosophy. Today I just want to do a comparison between the Nine Noble Virtues of Ásatrú (NNV) which I follow, and the Code of Bushido (COB).  The Japanese Warrior Code is something I admire, so the purpose of this comparison is not to note superiority of one over the other.  I have a feeling if a samurai and a viking warrior sat down and had a discussion about these things they would walk away from each other with a profound amount of respect. Rather, my main purpose is to learn and grow.  To perhaps see other facets of the jewel known as the NNV by comparing it to another jewel – The COB.

There are similarities – Both have honor.  The difference is that the NNV tries to encompass in honor the idea of respect, where the COB makes that a separate virtue.  Both have Fidelity, but the COB adds the idea of Duty as part of that, although I would say it is part of Fidelity as well.   Honesty lines up very much with Truth. Compassion lines up very well with Hospitality.  Both have Courage. There is a lot of overlap as you can see.  The learning is in the differences.

The COB has Respect as separate from Honor and the Virtue of Integrity. In the case pf respect, looking at this reminds me as a follower of the NNV that Respect is a part of honor.  To me self-worth and respect are two sides of the same coin of honor.  The COB reminds me that I need to remember it is two-sided. Integrity is sticking with one’s decisions and being commuted to them.  I would say in Fidelity we see that but not so much our decisions as being committed to our relationships and making decisions based on those commitment that are loyal and true.  I can change my decisions if a different path suggests I would demonstrate more loyalty to that person or group than my current path.

The NNV has the following virtues that are more emphasized than the COB: Self-Reliance, Industriousness, Discipline and Perseverance.  It is not that the COB doesn’t talk about these things, it is just two some might be seen as expressions of the other virtues.  Discipline as part of Compassion.  To be disciplined one must then display perseverance.  However, I think the concept of ‘face’ kicks in here and failure is far less of an option in the COB as it is in the NNV.  The Viking Warrior after failing, gets up and tries again.  The Samurai might instead to stave of losing face commit ritual suicide.  The thing being that in Eastern philosophy community is far more important that the individual.

This is probably best seen in Self-Reliance and Industriousness. It is not that the COB does not emphasize them, it is just they are always seen as a part of a greater whole.  The problem with this in Viking culture is you can find yourself alone trying to survive and live.  The climate and nature of the Scandinavian world meant you are going to have to face things at times without the community. So you better figure out how to do things yourself and you better work hard or you might die or suffer for relying too much on others or not working hard enough.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

Comparison in philosophical systems is needed to strengthen our own.  It avoids the cranial rectal inversion that some philosophers develop that I am trying to avoid.  Having one’s head up one’s own ass philosophically.  Easter philosophy with its different focus points tends to be quite revealing when you put it side by side western.

Wants (Freki):

I personally want to see aspects of the Code of Bushido expressed in my following of the Nine Noble Virtues. There is a need to remember respect as part of honor for me. To remember community is important when it comes to hospitality and fidelity.  That Integrity is a part of Truth for me. Learning how to fuller understand and express the NNV by looking at how others see the same virtue is something I definitely want.

Reason (Huginn):

I would say reason tells us that codes and virtues might be the same but which ones are going to be more emphasized are going to depend a lot of culture and society.  The Code of Bushido fits its Eastern philosophical world. The NNV virtues make more sense for me because I live in a culture that is more self-reliant and individualistic.  However if I had or do business in Japan, it might do me well, from a rational point of view, to switch while I am there.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Learning to find wisdom where you find it is key.  Wisdom knows no culture or society. It sometimes expresses itself differently depending on society but the concepts of wisdom tend to be the same.

Conclusion:

I have enjoyed this look at the Code of Bushido.  It has made my meditation on the NNV a little more fuller as I consider aspects of the NNV in its light. It has allowed me to see more of my own path and code.  I imagine I will return to it again.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 1:6 – “People Do Not Have The Right to Take Away The Rights of Others”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements: 

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Stricken” – Disturbed

Poem: “The Scar” by Edward W. Raby, Sr. (Rough Draft) 

See the source image

Time heals all wounds

“Bullshit” I say

I have been down this road before

I have scars that still bleed inside

Internal bleeding of the soul

Seepage of pain within

Toxic soul-blood poisoning

Hidden behind my scars

The scar you left on me

Is like all the others

A covered scab

Hiding a slow bleeding wound

Another scar

A badge of survival

The poison blood inside fuel

The pain inside motivation 

I know this is the second poem I have written for the Pulpit in rough draft form without polishing them later in a Skald’s Tales and Poems but that is coming this week probably.

Meditation:

Image may contain: 1 person, eyeglasses, text that says '"I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone.... Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid. - -Penn Jillette'

Me too Penn, Me too.

Song of Preparation: “Anthem’ – Rush:

Text: 

“People Do Not Have The Right to Take Away The Rights of Others” – The Book of Rabyd 1:6

Sermon:

The real key here to understanding rights that inalienable is that it means that everyone has them.  Truly understand rights then requires that while we all may have the right to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and property; it does not mean that we can exercises those rights at the expense of someone else’s rights.  You must respect the rights of others to truly understand what rights entail.  If you don’t, you have an improper understanding of rights.

It is morally wrong to force another to give up their rights so that you can have yours.  It morally bankrupt; in my opinion, to use any kind of force and power to exalt your rights over another.  This is something that has to be remembered because as much as we say – “I have my rights”,  we also need to say – “they have their rights” in the same breath.   It is this respect of rights as a concept that is just as important as respect of my own rights.  When we do this we are learning to see others as human beings.  It is this issue that if implemented would solve a ton of problems.  As much as I feel I have the right to stand on my rights, I must also allow others to stand on theirs.

This why I find the use of government today so repugnant.  Much of it is one side or the others trying to take power to use on others.  The Republicans try to seize power so they can use it against the Democrats and visa versa.  No one is trying to take government so they can genuinely defend the rights of all.  Libertarianism for me is simply a wonderful philosophy that seeks to actually see  the rights of all protected.  The goal of our politics then would be to stop the government from violating the rights of all individuals.

I have been using the issue of abortion to illustrate the problem when rights collide.  The right to life movement say the right of the child to live is not being respected, the pro-choice folks say the right of the woman to privacy which is connected to her rights to liberty and the pursuit of happiness is being violated if she does not have the choice of an abortion.  The problem is we simply cannot play a game of two against one to decided who is right.  A single violated right by force is wrong.  The argument really centers on whether or not the child/fetus is genuinely a human being and thus has rights.  Pro-life folks say yes / pro-choice folks say no.  This is not going to be resolved because the arguments on both sides have problems.  I am not going to get into that because the arguments for both sides are legion as well.  My point is if a single right is being violated on an individual then the action is wrong and should not be allowed.

The problem with abortion is asking a question of personhood and at that point you are getting far more into metaphysics and theology than philosophy.  My personal position is to say I am pro-choice on one hand because I do not feel it is my right to force my viewpoint of when life begins on another, and it is a debatable point.  But I am also pro-life on the other hand, because I would hope that we would recognize our ignorance on when life truly and genuinely begins, and thus choose to err on the side of life because of that ignorance.

My point in all this is the debate is not what our rights are for those that follow the Book of Rabyd. Those are clearly understood.  The debate for me and for my family is to understand and know when rights are being brought into conflict either intentionally or unintentionally and coming up with solutions that both allow one to exercise their rights but not interfere with the rights of others.  This is the challenge of those who follow the Book of Rabyd.

Closing Song: ‘Hurt’ – Johnny Cash:

I include this song at the end because I talked about it with some friends this week.  I suppose it is a simple reminded that all things, including our lives, end.  What legacy we leave is important. Johnny Cash speaks for a lot of people in this song when they near the end.  The regrets you have probably have more to do with hurts received and hurts given.

Parting Thought:

Image may contain: text

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Realigning Discipline

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Discipline is a very interesting word as it defines a lot of different things. Mostly in this context it is doing the things that need to be done every day to achieve the goals you want to achieve. When coupled with perseverance, it is an unstoppable force to getting where you want to go.  I was recently browsing through Barnes and Noble in the business section and found that there were at least ten books on discipline and many others where discipline is a key element among a very few.

For me discipline expresses itself in routines and doing things when they need to be done. The issues for me; most of the time, are procrastination and The Grey.  In any case though the one thing that keeps me moving forward the most is discipline and both those opposing problems are overcome by discipline.

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

I don’t really have a problem with this virtue as it is written. In fact, it is one of the best definitions of discipline I know.

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Don’t really have a problem with the principle either. It has kept me thinking on the issue of connecting my life to discipline.  No the real issue is the goal and bucket list item. Both have to be self oriented and connected with discipline. I originally thought my weightlifting would be a good fit, but in truth while this can be hard at times, it is not the self-discipline I struggle with the most.  No, that belongs to Nutrition.  At the same item as I looked at the other goals and bucket list items, weightlifting does not fit anywhere else all that well. I realize the whole issue of health fits here as it is the most easily seen thing where discipline leads to results but at the same time.  The weightlifting, nutrition and walking all are part of this taking charge of my body and living healthy as possible. So which to choose.

This is the point in the realignment that I realized that a complete rewrite of some goals and bucket list items might be needed to make this realignment a reality. I also looked at my goals and bucket list items and realized some just straight up don’t work anywhere.  This is particularly true for the bucket list.  So what goal to set and what bucket list item to pursue? It also becomes clear at this point that may goals I have currently are not that SMART. Goals should also have a singular point not be multifaceted.  Simplicity here is key.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019 to March 31, 2020.

Nutrition is by far the most challenging thing for me and it is time I take in on full speed.  This gives me the rest of March to prepare.  I also can start to look at what items I can eat and drink.  Mostly, what I see is eliminating dairy and the other items in my diet that I need to purge. Coming up with Paleo alternatives is going to be the real challenge and I hope a fun one.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Smoke a Joint, Get Drunk, Visit a Nudist Resort. I haven’t decided yet. Something along those lines.  My tattoos are not on this list because they will be connected with Perseverance. The idea is to plan an act of rebellion and execute it. Live life a little as a reward for successful discipline.  Something undisciplined to counter all the discipline.

One other thing.  This realignment thing has pointed out that I can streamline the A Skald’s Life posts. I can do this by including the specific goal and bucket list item under each Virtue as well as the principle.  This would allow me to consider them together.  I will start this process next week.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I think I have spoken enough on this today, but there will be changes to the routines that reflect all this.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

As I said my tattoos will probably be here as the Bucket List Item. The goal might have to involve exercise.  I do two things for this Walking and Weightlifting. How to couple these into one exercise program. Stretching fits in here too. Something that involves a complete exercise program is what I am thinking.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Still thinking on this one but it involves relationships so my marriage. family and friends come to mind.  Mostly though I think both the goal and bucket list will be about my wife and I.  It may involve family and friends but it is going to focus on the two of us. I have some ideas but I will keep them to myself for now.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this realignment is centered on two principles – minimalism and simplicity. The goal is a more streamlined system of working the virtues out in my life that is simple.  So the effort required is much less. I want o achieve my goals as efficiently as possible and that involves making the pursuit less time-consuming and yet remaining effective.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The decision to go full Paleo Diet and next weeks exercise changes will involve some rewriting of the routine here.  I am hoping it will make these things more likely to get done.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Still need an effective trigger here. But also look at the idea of beating diabetes so the first one just says supplements.

Nutrition:

Full Paleo by April 1st.  Means doing some homework and dumping some things from my diet. I still think a cheat meal once a week is a good idea. Keeps you from going completely bonkers with cravings.

Weekly Recap:

The weekly recap is going to change because I think I can divide what I normally do here among the three A Skald’s Life posts as well. But a weekly recap is still needed on Friday but it might be where I keep my Goal and Bucket list Counts as well as have a more general feelings about the week and what needs work.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Virtue: Moving Higher

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Having finished the Nine Noble Virtues it is time to flip the subjects for Of Wolves and Ravens to the flip side.  So for the next nine weeks the subjects will be more Side B

  1. Eastern Philosophy
  2. Western Philosophy
  3. Love
  4. Minimalism
  5. Economics
  6. Justice
  7. Political Science
  8. Libertarianism
  9. Wisdom

These are either the Higher Virtues or other philosophical elements that guide my thinking. Subjects where my philosophy is more real and concretely applied to the real world of my life.

Today, however, we return to the general subject of virtue. Mostly the rationale behind pursuing virtue as opposed to Religion as a way of moving higher.  I suppose it comes back to the Marcus Aurelius quote I keep using.

See the source image

My main issue these days is to live a good life and so following good virtues is the path to that.  The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) of Asatru are good ones to follow and no matter what your religion or faith, I don’t think you could fault them.  Virtue is a Human trait and if anything is responsible for the good in the world it is when people take their human capacity and guide it by good virtues.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

At this point things will get a little more personal.  After departing from my Christian faith, I knew I would need something to guide my life philosophy. I think that is one of the problems of struggling with faith.  You hold your principles from that faith, but the basis for doing so is missing. I needed to figure out what that basis was and how I could hold a system of philosophy to guide myself and my character without having faith in a religion.  Virtue is an old discussion in philosophy and one that has always had a lot of merit to me. So I found that the need for a system of virtue was very much justified.

Wants (Freki):

I also wanted virtue.  One of the things that you get accused of when you leave the faith is somehow you are now lesser of a person.  It is never said but it is there.  Your ‘lost’, ‘going to follow your sinful nature now’, you are not as ‘good’ in the eyes of the people of the faith you left. Part of my embracing virtue is I want to show how bankrupt a notion it is to believe you need to follow a certain religion or faith to be a good person.  That you can be a better person morally without faith or religion is a hard concept for people to accept for some reason.  I want to prove that it can be done.

Reason (Huginn):

The rational reason for following virtue for me is that it upholds my thoughts that a person can actually use religion for evil while calling themselves good.  After all they are just following their authority of their holy book or holy man.  Even if that action causes harm to others, in religion it is still justified because you were doing what your authority told you.

I can’t do that following my philosophy of virtue.  Virtue demands that an action must also cause no harm to others whenever possible.  It recognizes that appeal to authority is not a rational act but a logical fallacy.  Therefore to just follow authority blindly is not virtuous, rather quite the opposite.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I feel that no matter what the twists and turns of my life are now, that the NNV allows me to navigate each fork and crossroad with wisdom.  I am not letting some blind guide pull me along.  Rather my eyes are open and I makes sure each life decision is guided by principle and virtue.  I do take into account what is best for me, but I also no longer think that shows a lack of wisdom but rather it demonstrates wisdom.

Conclusion:

On May 28th, 2018 I was no longer a pastor or a Christian officially. I even have a letter from my former church that fired me retroactively to May 27th to prove it. I keep that letter because there is a line in it that motivates me. From time to time I pull it out and read it:

“This decision was based on the fact that you no longer have the character, ability or right to be the shepherd of any flock”

Well, I plan on making them eat those judgmental and arrogant words and I plan on doing it by living a better life than I ever had as a Christian.  I plan on doing that by following virtue.  By so doing, I will move higher than I ever have before. I don’t see my leaving the flawed hypocritical virtues of Christianity to follow the NNV as a step downward, but rather a step upward. Time the pierce the sky and live a good life.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Eating the Elephant

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

As I looked at the task of aligning my Virtues, Principles, Goals and Bucket List I realized this is and elephant sized task.  It is not just these things that need to be looked at but also the Routines and other associated items that go with everything. So I looked at the calendar and realized I have nine Skald’s Life posts left after this one in the month of March.

If I am going to take this one bite at a time then I think the answer has presented itself in that I can take one virtue on at a time with its associated Principle, Goal and Bucket List Item.  There are certain Routines associated with each type of Skald’s Life so can deal with them one at a time for three weeks as well. The plan is:

Week of March 10th to 16th: Honor, Self-Reliance, Discipline

Week of March 17th to 23rd: Courage, Industriousness, Perseverance

Week of March 24th to 30th: Truth, Hospitality, Fidelity

Of course the end of this week, which started out very well, began to have major The Grey issues.  This started Wooden’s Day at work and pretty much is still going.  So there is a real necessity to keep going right now to keep this depression thing from dominating my birthday or the celebrations of the birthday’s of others. There is just too much at stake right now for The Grey to slow me down.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

It all comes down to discipline at times. It is either that or Courage. I guess discipline is that which you do when you are at peace to prepare for war.  Courage is what you need in war.  So I find myself alternating on my bad days between the two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess I can say that there might be an observation that perseverance is the product of this alternation between Discipline and Courage.  I mean, I should talk more about how the virtues overlap.  I guess I do that with the Higher Virtues in a sense.  Honor Courage and Truth being center to Love, etc. Every once in a while though you see a connection between say Honor and Fidelity.  Those should be noted when I see them.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

The loyalty thing to folk and friends are good.  I mean these I would perceive as pretty solid and for the most part strong.  I am struggling right now with two aspects of this virtue. 1) Being loyal to myself.  I mean a half a year ago there were certain things I wanted for me and I still feel like I am struggling to get there.  I feel at times I am still the pastor in mentality, where I give up something I need or want, so someone else can benefit.  I suppose old habits die-hard and all that, but if I am going to be loyal to myself my goals and bucket list have to focus on loyalty to myself.  Otherwise this has all been for nothing. 2)  “One’s Gods and Goddesses”  – yeah, who or what are they? Does my Deism, Humanism and Paganism count as this? Yeah, there are a lot of unanswered questions on that part. The thing I am most loyal to philosophically is the Nine Noble Virtues, so perhaps this isn’t a problem really. All that then is really missing is the personification. 🙂 I just need to figure out how this part works.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

In wisdom, it is wise to consider one’s mortality. I know I consider mine every birthday.  I always ask at some point how many more birthdays do I have left?  It is not really being morbid. It’s just being wise.  On the one hand one should like each day like it is his or her last.  One the other hand, you should plan like you are going to live forever. So each day is lived like it is your last with greater purpose.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 2

The real problem with this routine is not desire.  Gods I want to lift so bad again, but until I know where I am going to be with my next job, the gym is not an option.  Perhaps a simple bench and few dumbbells would hold me over but my bucket list requires some barbells and significant weight. Walking without proper winter gear is not an option right now either.  I keep them on the list though because it reminds me that they need to return as quickly as possible,  Writing is still a struggle but Cleaning is not.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Toughest routine to remember to do. Need my daily list or I would forget it. Even with the list I forget it at times.

Nutrition:

Went back to two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  This seems to work the best and it keeps me leaned out.  I think with this in place, I can fine tune things a little at a time until I get where I truly want it to be.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I don’t know, The Grey really clouded things here this week.  I had to trust my instincts a little more when it came to some things. Honor is the hardest thing when you are depressed.

Business – Finding a new job with better pay is getting pivotal to not only the future prosperity of my wife and myself.  It is becoming critical for me as far as value. My own sense of personal value is starting to feel the need for it.

Self –  Writing on Tyr’s Day about Fidelity was particularly emotional taxing. I think this set me up to be triggered when some thing were said by certain people ,and it caused a Grey Storm to start. I know what a lot of my triggers are, but sometimes I don’t know what form they will take or sometimes there are new ones I never considered. I suppose it is the catch twenty-two of depression.  You have to talk about the past to deal with it, but sometimes by doing that you open the door to it.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Fidelity – Noble Vulnerability

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I always approach the subject of fidelity with a little trepidation. One the one hand, I have not been the most loyal of husbands in the very recent past.  Having an affair kind of undercuts your credibility when it comes to lecturing anyone on the subject of fidelity.  On the flip side, while I don’t recommend doing it this way, the lessons about fidelity I have learned from others and myself during that time were quite profound. So no lecture from me.  I don’t have the moral authority here to tell you how to be loyal and show fidelity, but I do have a testimony here of some of the things I observed and learned that might help someone.  That is if you are willing to listen before the shit hits the fan for you.

Before I begin though I want to share something my wife sent me on Sunday.  When I saw this I told her thank you and that I loved her.  What she couldn’t see, because it was sent via Messenger was the tears rolling down my face. I have no idea how she loves me so much.  I just do not get it.  She is the best example of fidelity I know.

I suppose that is the first observation I can make.  That just because you are in the midst of being disloyal to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will automatically switch to being disloyal to you.  That is the high road if you ask me.  It is a rare person who can maintain fidelity to you while you are walking away from them.  When you discover this, it can be a soul wrenching moment. I don’t recommend testing people’s loyalty to you this way, but it is very revealing who really loves you and continues to love you even when you are not being the most loyal person yourself.

I also can share the tale of two friends.  I had two friends I would have considered very close at the time. Now, I want people to understand that as disloyal as I was to my wife at the time, I had this thing about loyalty to my friends and family that was still very strong. It was my marriage that was a problem to me at the time as well as my faith, but I would have marched through hell for my friends and family.

Not all the other relationships were problematic to me. I was actually depending on them to kind of get me through the crisis I was having at the time.  One friend proved that his lifelong fidelity was true. He stuck by me, confronted me and loved me no matter what.  He even kept a few secrets, although I knew he wanted to say something.  I will give the man this, loyalty, that is fidelity runs through his veins like blood.  He still remains my truest friend and for that I will be forever grateful.

The other who was a friend for almost a decade. He, on the other hand, deliberately set me up to look like I was trying to hide the affair to my congregation, and then came out and told the story himself to pass himself off as the ‘noble hero’.  You find out who your real friends are in crisis moments and I never saw that one coming.  I trusted him and that ended that day. I discovered very quickly that this person’s definition of friendship includes in his loyalty clause – “only if you agree with me and are useful to me.”  He threw our relationship away as easily as tossing a piece of paper into the trash.

This was because I had become a liability to him and I was no longer useful to him. He not only abandoned me, but he had to kick me when I was down in his self-righteous sanctimonious arrogance.  I will never trust him again.  Even my wife, who had the greatest reason to do so, didn’t try to destroy me when I was walking away and hurting.  This man did. He has nothing but my contempt now and anyone who trusts his friendship or loyalty is a fool.

My tale of two friends demonstrates fidelity in one and its lack in the other. In the end the first friend helped me see the light and the other just has contributed to my darkness.  When you see a friend struggling, even with their own loyalty to someone, you don’t demonstrate fidelity and help them by being a disloyal prick yourself.

I suppose I have to say one other thing.  Fidelity isn’t as black and white as people like to make it out to be.  Sometimes you don’t know who to be loyal to at all.  Sometimes you have to be loyal to a couple of people who are having problems with each other.  There is a world of mines in this minefield you have to tiptoe around. Relationships can be toxic or one-sided. That is because I have also learned that fidelity is the strongest thing in the world when it is right.  It is also the most fragile and explosive thing when it goes wrong.  Handle with care.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I have come to understand how much I need loyalty in my life. Not just people to be loyal to me but how being loyal makes me a better person.  Oddly enough, I have been loyal to some of the people, even the above unfaithful friend, since all this happened. There is a professionalism to the ministry I maintain out of loyalty and respect for helping others and for people’s privacy.  So I have a lot of confidences that were entrusted to me, that I still keep.  I know a lot of things that could be damaging to others, but I keep them to myself out of fidelity.  I refuse to be the same person my other friend was, that just because these relationships may have philosophical differences with me, or no longer have any use, I will not be a disloyal prick and reveal those secrets to damage people.

Wants (Freki):

If I want anything right now, it is to strengthen my own loyalty to those who have proven loyal to me. I don’t know any other way to demonstrate my appreciation and respect for these people than to do this.  I want a small group of friends that fidelity is strong both ways.  I think I have a few. But I need a few more.  I also want to get over the fear of making new friends, as new relationships cause me a little of the ‘who can a trust’ syndrome based on past experience. I want to get over that while remembering not everyone who says they are your friend is one, they only prove that with actions not words.

Reason (Huginn):

When I think about this rationally, Loyalty is difficult to intellectualize.  It is much more something soul felt than rationalized. At the same time, I can see rationally that without it I won’t go forward.  I just wont.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience teaches wisdom, then this last year is has a taught me the wisdom of fidelity. I can’t even put to words all the things I have learned.  I guess I can say this mostly though.  If you’re having a problem in your relationship with your significant other, the place you need to talk about it is with the other person. I also understand there are problems of pain and depression that keep you from doing this at times, so you have my empathy if you can’t.  I get it.  But if you can find a way, do it.  It is far better to mend the fence than have to build a new one. Fidelity demands that.

Conclusion:

I know I have little in the way of strength here at times.  I am gaining new understandings of this virtue known as fidelity all the time.  I really don’t see it as my weakest area and even last year going though my marriage issues, I still maintained fidelity with friends, family and others despite the fact it was strained in a couple of areas. One of those areas was my marriage and it is very much on the mend.  The other was my faith and like my friend who betrayed me, I think I will say that this separation in relationship will be permanent. The real struggle now is to keep searching and walking to find the truth when it comes to faith and spirituality.  But that is what this while blog is about.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – ‘Live Long and Prosper’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

Star Trek is a complicated conversation for me, as it used to be about something that examined all issues fairly in a science fiction setting.  With all the new series and such, my issue of course is that the universe known as Star Trek is it has taken on a life of its own. So much so, that it is impossible to keep up.  Star Trek for me remains sitting in front of the television as a boy watching the original series.  It shaped me in that I learned very much to look to a future that was optimistic. Not the same optimism that Gene Roddenberry had, but optimism nonetheless.

There are many truisms from that series and one of my favorites comes from Spock and the simple goodbye ritual of saying -“Live long and prosper.”  In the absence of religion or faith, it is a blessing that is very mystical, yet secular.  It is also a worth goal and a from a Self point of view, it sums up my objectives very well.  Just trying to live a long life in as much prosperity as I can.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Being hard on yourself, knowing you can always do better, can be challenging.  I am right now testing my discipline by basically not keeping my paper journal this week.  What I have discovered is fairly typical – I am now doing some things automatically, other things I am not, or I am forgetting to do some things without the journal. It illustrates the process of how discipline takes something that is a good activity from something difficult, to something that requires less and less of a push until it becomes a habit.  Most things re somewhere along the line of knowing it is a good thing to do and starting out to habit.  Most are somewhere in between those two.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I know that the next half a year or so is going to require a lot of perseverance emotionally and mentally.  Memories right now of last year at this same time are going to haunt me.  There will be a lot of things that I look back on with a lot of sadness. This sadness can and probably will at times cause me to shut down emotionally. For me that means becoming cold and feeling nothing.  The Grey.

There will be a lot of voices in my head that will not be positive.  I have to keep going despite it all. My only hope is that on the other side of all this there will be better days and I will be stronger for walking through it.  That’s what keeps me going.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Being loyal to myself is the central thing right now.  For the first time in my life, I think the priority of my own prosperity on all levels is present.  If people find this selfish, then they can bite me.  People always call others selfish when people don’t do what they want to advantage themselves.  For me if I don’t keep myself going, then everyone who depends on me also suffers.  I have lived long giving to others at the expense of myself that this is a whole new world for me in some ways and fear of course is there. It is courage and loyalty to myself that cause me to pick up my war axe and keep walking forward.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Balance has been the word of wisdom this week.  Trying to keep my foundation, business and self aspects in balance.  It can be a challenge, but in so doing, I find myself more at peace. Unfortunately it is a peace that requires victory and victory implies battles and wars to fight.  But it is peace that can be achieved so I fight.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

The weekly routine goes completely to hell when I don’t keep my paper journal.  I think I cleaned once this week and didn’t write at all. Cheat meal Count? Who knows.  Yeah, this one requires keeping it in front of me every day so I am reminded to do it.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

Tough one as well without a journal to remind me.  When I look at all of the routines – the morning one and the daily one have the most habits that are automatic. The weekly stuff and the evening stuff are still things I have to remind myself to do.

Nutrition:

Off script this week.  Basically a week of whatever although I do find that I gravitate toward low carb foods or the flip side things that have enough sugar to make my diabetic side cringe. That’s the yin and yang of it right now with nutrition when I don’t force myself to keep track of it. Extreme either way.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  Off script, these are the virtues that hold up best. They are after all stuff that is a constant more than the others.

Business – This area needs more focus and events at my current job have reminded me once again why a change in job is needed.

Self –  I struggle the most here off script.  I really need more of a habit of taking care of me as a whole. Perhaps it speak as to how my last occupation taught me to ‘deny self’ to the point of losing myself.  I now consider this one aspect of Jesus’ teaching I would demand further explanation on; because once you have spent all, then you lose and everyone else wins at your expense.  I fail to see the good in this at all anymore.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens: Perseverance – Stubborn Purpose

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I think when it comes to Perseverance, my strength with it is that it comes very naturally.  On the other side of it; because it does come naturally to me, it is hard to write about it and explain it. The things that come most naturally to a person are so deep-seated at times that they do the almost without thought.  So when someone asks you how you do it; it’s not that you don’t know, it is that you find it hard to explain something that is probably best described as deeply spiritual.

So when I keep getting up from defeat or failure, I guess the best thing to say about it is that I don’t like the feeling of being down on the ground, so I stand back up a quickly as possible.  It is just habit.  I suppose that is the goal of following every virtue, that the actions they lead you to do be come automatic habit. In this case, I think I am there already in that respect.  Mostly my growth here is trying to figure out how Perseverance applies to more and more things and the way it applies and to what extent.  How much of this stubbornness with a purpose is needed to get through life successfully.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

To me the need for perseverance connects with the simple basic need to survive.  But more than that, I don’t think any successful person; at any level, has ever gotten there without Perseverance.  You will never be successful at anything unless you keep training, practicing, follow discipline and do it over and over again until you are successful. If you don’t get how much this is necessary, than that is probably the reason you are not successful.

Wants (Freki):

Wanting Perseverance seems secondary when you consider how much it is needed. You want it because you want that feeling of being on top of the mountain, of looking at what you have built and having that feeling of being satisfied, etc.  You don’t get to those moments without Perseverance.

Reason (Huginn):

Survival and Success are two rational goals in life. “Live long and prosper.” Like it or not there are other forces in this world that will challenge that and you need some force to counter them.  Perseverance is that force.

The part I am discovering now is how perseverance connects with purpose.  How it gives you purpose.  It gives you reason to keep going.  How it gives you clearer vision of what you want to be and how you are going to get there. It makes such vision practical and very real.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I think I have learned the most life lessons after standing back up again. I have gained the most wisdom just standing back up. You, the gentle reader, read a lot of things here on The Grey Wayfarer that are simply a product of me standing up again.

Conclusion:

“Coyotes Never Quit.” It statement that was made to me by my football coach back in 9th grade during the heat of two a day practices.  It is something, that has stuck with me.  Back then it meant in four years, no matter how I felt. I never missed a practice and I never used an excuse not to get back on my feet. I never got too much opportunity to play on the field, but for life later, it has been the secret to my survival and successes.  It has given my life Stubborn Purpose.  Otherwise known as Perseverance.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – The Path to Self-Fulfillment

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I find walking to be fulfilling.  In that regard, I think the path I choose in life should also be fulfilling.  I never want to be in the position I was before asking: “What do I get out of this?”, and not have a positive answer.  I don’t believe this is selfish, so much as it is self-preservation.  Perseverance requires something within to stand back up and keep going.  Something has to feed that.  We do things that either feed that or drain it. When we are drained, we can do some very dumb things to find peace and happiness.  I speak from experience.

Putting it together then as I stand at a crossroads o fork in road as life’s wayfarer, I guide my decisions based on these there criteria. Does this path lead to Virtue, does this path lead to Success and does this path lead to Self-fulfillment.  If the path has a yes to all three of those, it is likely one I should take, More often than that I find that either 1) Many paths meet this three-fold requirement and then other factors come in or 2) none of them meet all three, so I pick the one that has the most, and then hope for a choice down the road that is better.

At the end of the day, I simply want to look back at my choices as say they followed virtue, lead to success and were fulfilling personally.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I still keep looking to make discipline more and more of my life. Getting past the times of The Grey is simply easier when I do things automatically.  I am however making a major change in that I am working on the idea that all my steps and routines must be done as much as possible before I can take a break or do something I enjoy.  The greatest challenge I face is to take a break from things, and then not have the discipline to return.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess the feeling I have here is like a hiker who has hiked through as storm and now looks back from the hill and sees that storm behind him.  It doesn’t mean that there are not more storms ahead, but there is some satisfaction in looking at what I survived. Then you look forward in new strength and keep going forward.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It is times of the Storm that challenge you in regards to fidelity.  There is tension between loyalty to ones self, and loyalty to those who have been loyal to you.  Some how you have to be loyal to yourself and do what you need to do for you, but at the same time not forget those who have been loyal to you.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Virtue, Success, and Self-fulfillment.  Sounds like the path of wisdom to me.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

#1 and #3 are still on hold until the weather improves and I get a better job that can allow me to afford the gym again.   I have an idea for writing that will probably start me down that path more consistently.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

The evening routine is the most challenging of all of them. This is because I have to wait to the end of the day for it to happen and by that time The Grey might basically be motivating me to just go to bed.

Nutrition:

I am definitively have troubles with the zeros.  I don’t think this is a level I will stay at.  The one that worked and was most comfortable and successful was two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  After my birthday, it is where I will probably camp for a while. The one thing I can say is the diet has kept my weight and fitness level stable despite no walking or the gym.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I feel better here.  I don’t like thinking about the past because it is a bummer.  It is sometimes unavoidable.  That said, thinking about a more positive future for myself and my wife has been a good way to move on. Virtue has been the key there.

Business – Success and defining it have been very helpful this week.

Self –  Need to remember me.  Self loyalty is a must.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!