The Higher Virtues

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 3:2 – “There is Never Time to Do It Right, but There is Always Time to Do It Over.”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: “Hammer to Fall” – Queen

I consider this one of the lesser known but better songs of Queen.  It also deals with today’s subject – time.

Poem: ‘Priceless Words’ by LK Pilgrim

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LK Pilgrim has some good stuff for poems and seeing I am not inspired for my own poetry right now, enjoy.

Meditation:

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Definitely yours for wasting time on them. Time to find someone better.

Song of Preparation: “Wasted Years” – Iron Maiden

I think we could all sing this song about someone or something. The point is to learn and head a different direction.

Text:

“There is Never Time to Do It Right, but There is Always Time to Do It Over.” – The Book of Rabyd 3:2

Sermon:

I don’t know actually where this expression originated in our family but I do know it was a favorite with my Father.  He was a big one for doing things right the first time.  He hated coming back to do something again if it could have been avoided by simply doing things right the first time. He also felt by doing it right the first time and taking a little extra time to do it that way saved time in the long run.  He was most definitely right.

It is when we get sloppy that we find ourselves doing things again and wasting time.  It is interesting that the one thing humans take so seriously is time, but that we waste so much of it doing a sloppy job is also true.  Sure the sand of time is ticking, but does doing things quickly really save time?  Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to get better with each repeat or doing things right the first time and have time to reach other goals?  I prefer the later and have to conclude that my dad, wherever he got the saying, was right.

Time is the most important commodity anyone has.  You don’t even really know how much you have so it is important to get things right the first time so you don’t waste time doing things over and over again. That goes for relationships too.

At this point, we will leave the Book of Rabyd for a bit.  I will come back to it whenever I add another verse or modify an existing verse. Next up is a series on universal religious concepts. I also may from time to time go truly pagan on the Pagan Pulpit.

Closing Song: “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights” – Freddie Fender

I honor of my father who has provided two verses of The Book of Rabyd, I leave you with a country song and this was one of his favorites.  It also has a message I need to remember for myself.

Parting Thought:

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Ain’t that the truth.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 10 – Storm’s Edge

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

No Crossin Bifrost this week. I just don’t have the time for proper research.  There however might be another Rogue Wizard this weekend.

If you ever had that moment where you are standing outside and you can see the edge of a storm coming in toward you, then you might have an idea of what I am feeling.  It’s the storm known as The Grey and what is causing it is memories of the past, particularly from this time last year. I know it is coming and I know it is going to be tough.  I also know it is probably unavoidable. The list of problems is already forming in my head.

  1. My last sermon was May 27th, 2018 and I haven’t been in a church since May 28th, 2018.  It a kind of bittersweet milestone. I miss my people at times but they also fired me after years of preaching love, grace, and forgiveness.  Seems like my words were wasted. Twenty years of ministry is over and I am sure that some small amount of Grey will try to creep into my life over it because I feel largely it accomplished very little.
  2. Last year my wife and I were separated from May 27th until August 19th. We called off our divorce pretty much with days to spare. This last year has been a time of counseling and work to get our relationship back on track.  It has been good but we are both going to hit our 30th anniversary this year and remember that last year we were separated for it.  We hopefully will use our mini-vacation to make some better memories for next year.  One thing I am glad of is I won’t have to deal with an annual church even which caused us to miss our anniversary to stay and work at the church for many years on that day.
  3. A good friend betrayed me last year and is no longer a friend. I suspected he wasn’t the most loyal of a person based on his track record with others; but still, I trusted him and he took advantage of that so he could come off the white knight riding to the rescue.  Yeah, still burns me and I patiently wait for karma to bite his ass. That knife in my back through left a scar and I am sure it will flare up as we head through May and June.
  4. Lost love.  I deal with the pain of loss here as much as I wish I didn’t. Forgiveness has been easy on this one except for the one thing I have previously mentioned. It is just my nature to forgive those I have loved unless betrayal is involved. I don’t feel that way about this one, she had the decency to at least stab in the chest and look me in the face when she did it. I just feel I took a chance, rolled the dice and lost. Unfortunately, it was my heart the dice were being rolled for and it got hurt because of that loss.  My new love for my wife is helping; but like all things, it takes time and I am sure it will never fully heal.  It never does.

So what to do when you know you have a storm to walk through? Well, knowing it is coming helps so you can prepare.  Resolving to walk on regardless is the simple act of a survivor. I know what the memories involved; know the emotions involved.  I have dealt with them before.  Knowing is half the battle as GI Joe used to say. The rest of the battle is actually having the courage to keep walking and to act when necessary.

Well, time to pull the collar up around my neck and my hat down.  Time to make sure my robes and cloak are pulled tight around me. Have the wolves and ravens go ahead and scout the path. A storm is coming and I need to keep walking.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Life’s Blacksmith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

It seems this proverb has a lot of origin stories but I can imagine every blacksmith probably drew this conclusion that each and every person smiths his own life. Life being raw iron that needs to be smithed in order to turn it into something that you want it to be. Who you are and what your life will become results from taking the raw materials of both and forging them into what you want. Being a smith is no easy task and having the life you want is not easy either.

Life tends to be like iron in this regard.  Very little of it can be changed without discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.   Particularly fidelity to one’s self. These are the tools that one forges one’s life from.  This concept dominates my thinking at times as I try to build the life I want and these virtues along with the other six are tools that make this possible.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

To make a good sword, steel has to be folded over and over again.  There is a repetition to most things in smithing that is about making something stronger, better or so it can be done by habit. This requires you to be hard on yourself first and then others around you second when appropriate.  Right now I look at what I am trying to achieve both as far as goals and my bucket list and discipline myself through routines so that relentlessly I am working toward achieving them.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

Every Smith screws up at some point.  They have to go back and fix something or start over or keep doing something that is tedious to get where you want to be. Failure is never looked at as final defeat but rather a lesson learned and an opportunity to change and grow.  That is the heart of perseverance.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

I am struggling with this part – being loyal to myself.  There are things I want in life yet and I need to make the commitment not to compromise on them. I tend to try to make others happy at times and at the expense of myself.  Old habits I guess. These days though, I need to build myself again and recast myself in a different form. To do that I need to stay true to the vision I have for myself.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Experience can breed wisdom or regret.  The choice is yours. I choose to learn and grow and look for something better. Wisdom is a big help in this and I am learning it every day.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

School is winding down and I will refocus my attention on a shorter list of things. One of those things is getting all my routines to start to forge my life better. This one, in particular, is very key to doing that.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Generous Leader

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

I miss being in leadership.  I also miss being generous.  That said, I understand the need for this hiatus from both right now.  I am healing from a lot of things and while I have seen wounded leaders do very well, I am also sure those same leaders collapsed when the crisis was over to heal themselves.  I guess I am just healing and life itself will determine when I get back into the action.

“A leader should be silent, thoughtful and bold in battle.”  It is what I strive for and the virtues of being self-reliant, industrious and hospitable all do their part in the actual activity of trying to be that kind of leader. All the virtues really do but it is these three that guide me in the kind of leader I want to be.  Self-reliance tells me that if I am not willing to do something myself, I shouldn’t ask someone else to do it. Industriousness tells me that if I want those under my leadership to work hard and enjoy their work, I need to do the same.  Hospitality says I need to reward those who do a good job for me well and not be cheap or stingy.

The last line of Havamal stanza 15 points out this in a lifelong attitude that must be cultivated.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I can’t emphasize liberty being the key to prosperity enough. Throughout history, liberty and prosperity go hand in hand and that is no accident.  I will remain an advocate for liberty for myself and others until that day of death.  It is a very noble cause to fight for.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

I struggle at times to enjoy doing my current job. It really is my own mind about as it isn’t a terrible job. It is probably my own frustration at not moving toward a new and better paying job that I would enjoy more than anything else.  I don’t want to feel stuck in anything ever again and so that is probably more on me than anything else.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I always stand ready to help, but there is still this healing issue that kicks in from time to time. Part of it is my need for counseling to assess the progress of my healing and where I need to go. I don’t want to be guilty of “physician heal thyself” when I may not be good in the eyes of an objective mind.  I want to know for sure that I have been helped before I help others in the same way again.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I struggle with the fine line between vengeance and seeking justice. Coming to terms with the fact that justice may never happen and moving on also can be difficult. I want to be at peace but there are always the internal struggles that keep me from that and I would like them to end.  Mostly though, I just try to not let my personal pain spill over into my relationships with others.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I really want to focus on the daily and morning routines once school is over completely.  This is the last week of last things with that.  I do some of the things on this list automatically so that is good. The rest is work in progress.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – The Practical Application of Political Science

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

In literally less than a week I will have finished my last requirement for the political science degree I have been working on for four years.  I walked in Fall but my internship will be done before the week is out. I happy about this as it represents something I started and finished and that is a good thing.

The problem is most people have a really poor understanding of what political science is about and so they don’t have a really good knowledge of what a person who has a political science degree can do.  In truth I picked it because of its versatility as you can do a lot of different things with a political science degree, you just have to broaden the scope of your understanding of what politics is.

Political science is a social science discipline that deals with systems of government and the analysis of political activity and political behavior. It deals extensively with the theory and practice of politics which is commonly thought of as the determining of the distribution of power and resources.

I suppose this definition is as good as any.  What I would like to focus on is the idea of the distribution of resources and power because that is what makes this degree so flexible.  Because the distribution of power and resources is universal and common to every organization. Every company and group has a power structure and way of distributing resources that involves human decision and implementation processes and that is what political science is about.  If your company or organization has a policy manual and an organizational flow chart, I can look at it and do the following things:

  1. I can understand how you theoretically want your organization to run.
  2. Give me enough time to analyze your company and I can tell the reality of how your organization actually runs and how resources are really distributed.
  3. I can work to help you optimize your organization or company by offering suggestions on how you can change one or the other of the above.

In this political science simply acknowledges that where two or three are gathered together there is a power structure and thus politics.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

For me personally, I needed a degree choice that was versatile and could offer me a good chance of employment. Political science is broad in that regard.  I have had courses in psychology, accounting, statistics, organizational structure, research, management, leadership, business, etc. I have a lot of different things I have learned for this degree and I see how things connect together because of it. If you’re looking for someone to keep an eye on the big picture of your organization, I have enough knowledge of the different areas to do that.

Wants (Freki):

What I would want is a job that involves this practical understanding of political science and incorporates that versatility.  It is why human resources as a busienss career appeals to me so much as it fits my knowledge, experience, and personality. Human resources and political science are two sides f the same coin to me.  One is more focused on the public and the other is focused on the private sector but seeing both of those intersect a lot they really deal with a lot of the same issues.

Reason (Huginn):

I get to use my reason as a political scientist. In the world of politics, emotional appeal is used because people are not motivated by logical argument but by what they need and want.  People are rarely if ever motivated by actual logic. That means if you want efficiency you need to plan logically but you must figure out how to appeal to what people need and want to motivate them to follow it.  If you don’t figure out the motivation part you will have a nice plan, but it will never be followed by those you lead.

Wisdom (Muninn):

.It is this combination of coming up with good solid policy but understanding that human beings both as individuals and groups are not motivated by reason so much as they are what they need and want that is the heart of the art of political science. Ethics is key in wisdom because you could use this knowledge to manipulate. Being truly benevolent is the heart of wisdom and part of that is respecting human freedom.  It’s a large part of it to me.

Conclusion:

For me, this is the practical side of Of Wolves and Ravens coupled with my knowledge of political science.  For me politics centers on needs, wants, reason and wisdom so there all the characteristics of the wolves and ravens are present and not treated as evil but normal and good. This is my practical and working understanding of political science as well as my own personal philosophy of living. Hopefully, I will be putting it to practical use very soon.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues – The Scholarly Warrior

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

My foundational image of myself remains the warrior scholar or the scholarly warrior.  I don’t fight actual physical battles but I understand the connection between courage and fighting for one’s ideals.  To be honorable, courageous and truthful requires a mindset of war and intelligence.

These virtues along with Love the Higher Virtue provide the core of my being of which the other virtues endeavor to express in other ways,  This role of being the man who fights for what he believes in has never really left me despite my inner struggles and personal failures.

The real question these days is approaching the subject of what to fight for as my mindset and world view has changed quite a bit.  It is something I still search for and hopefully, the answers will be forthcoming very soon.  In the meantime, I am the searching wandering warrior looking for truth.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

The blog streak will be 218 straight days with this post.  I also know with this being the last day of school I might get back to writing more fiction as I look for a better job. My hiking will also start in earnest pretty soon,  All preparation for the future with my Hike in the north.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

Every payday and my tattoo gets closer to being a reality.  If that happens bucket list item achieved. It does not mean I won’t continue to work toward more bucket list items, it is just a goal that will be set and then reset. Budapest still is on my mind.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I have my subject and working title for my non-fiction book.  I am just waiting for school to end to really get started. The same goes for Latin as I have the tools and the need is more to set up a lesson plan for myself and start working it.

Higher Virtue: Love:

It comes down to what I love and am passionate about.  That said sometimes you have to do the hard work of love and keep at it despite a lack of feelings. Discipline is as much a part of love as Courage.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  6. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  7. Get Dressed for the Day

Getting better.  I am just going to be glad when the internship and school are fully done so I can concentrate on getting fully on track.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – The Book of Rabyd 3:1 – “You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack”

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods, and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, they are given to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never sees a dime, farthing or peso of that money; it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ – The Neptunes Remix

I suppose it wouldn’t be a playlist for the pagan pulpit without some reference to something controversial – like having sympathy for the devil.

Poem:

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This is hard for me. The truth of this little poem; as much as it hurts, is still the truth.

Meditation:

Song of Preparation: “Safety Dance” – Men Without Hats

Hats and a maypole for Beltane. Easy call here.

Text:

“You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack” – The Book of Rabyd 3:1

Sermon:

Chapter three of the Book of Rabyd represents some of the sayings and ‘-isms’ that have dominated the Raby Family for years.  They are not necessarily principles or wisdom but just stuff that is around our family that we just say as part of our particular family collective.  This one is from my father and I have no idea how many times he said it to me.  “You Need to Use Your Head for Something Besides a Hat Rack” was on his lips every single time I did something stupid.  It was a polite way of him telling me I should use my head to think rather than just have it occupy space and hold up my hat.

My father was not an educated man.  He was dyslexic or at least we think so.  He was a blue-collar man who had a gift for manufacturing.  He learned machinery and grinding early in his factory work days and knew math very well.  He just could never read very well.  These days, he might have been diagnosed early and he might have learned to read much better.  He was, however, a math genius in his own way and he believed highly in learning and common sense.

I don’t actually use this expression of his much myself.  I, however, hear it all the time in my head.  I always hear it when I am about to do something stupid or have not thought things through before I am about to act on them.  Most people don’t wear hats these days so I wonder if somebody would get it, but I certainly do.

This expression being 3:1 in the Book of Rabyd is more about my love for my Father than anything else.  I want the expression preserved for my kids and grandkids and all the rest.  I think it is a very polite and creative way to tell someone to start thinking and using your head. I know he was proud of me when I graduated college but he did not live to see me get my master’s but I could not have made either without this expression rolling around in my head.  Thanks, Dad, I still miss you.

Closing Song: “Walpurgisnacht” – FAUN

English lyrics version:

In honor of this past week being Beltane, I include this song.  The song is definitely a Celtic flavor I love.  Included the English translation version second if you are interested in the words.   Truly pagan for the pagan pulpit on this one.

Parting Thought:

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I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – Forks in the Road (Part 3)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

There are some forks in the road you do not want to encounter because they are difficult decisions to make.  I find the ones involving Self to be this way more often than not.  It is probably because inherent in Perseverance is this simple choice to get up or stay down.  But when you look at the options many times with self, there are no bad ones, just choices where you are trying to determine what is best.

If I wrestle with forks in the road here, it is about trying to find what works and what is best.  There is one issue however that is very difficult but more on that in a little bit.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I am reassessing every Routine for effectiveness, but mostly I have come to the painful conclusion that I am simply weary with the whole academics and going to school thing.  I am probably going to take at least until the end of the year to think about whether to do a master’s degree and what one at this time.  I think it is best to put that on hold until I have a good job and know where I am living. That said once the semester is over in a little more than a week, I can get a better handle on what is working for me and how to fine-tune it.  I feel like I am drifting here and that isn’t good.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

This is the easy fork in the road for me.  I keep getting up and I keep going forward as best I can.  There is no quit here.  I would probably have to do this less emotionally if I would stop knocking myself down.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

This is the real fork in the road that is giving me pause.  In particular, ‘loyalty to self vs. loyalty to all the others’ comes up fairly regularly. I feel at times that I am losing what I want and my purpose as I strive for all the rest.  I really need to be loyal to myself at times and that is not always an easy thing to tell people.  I still feel like I need to back off yet with some things, because I am just not ready for them.  Still healing I think.  Deeper healing but still healing.  I really need a new and better paying job because of this because I really want to get back to counseling for myself and my marriage.   I can’t deny since we set it aside for financial reasons, I at least feel a little more adrift.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Every decision: What is the loving thing to do?  What is the just thing to do? What is the wisest thing to do? It does help to have this system.  It leads to wiser choices.  There are many forks in the road to navigate in life and having a way to ask these questions at each one has definitely helped.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

Needs work but the weightlifting I am having no trouble with.  The rest is still a work in progress.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 1  Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018.

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Forks in The Road (Part 2)

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

The majority of my decision involving forks in the road are in my Business Virtues area. I am not just looking for a new job, but a new career path.  I have some options that will run together. But the major options require a concentration of effort and I can’t do two at once.

I don’t think writing will ever leave my life.  The more I look at my personality type and read about it the one thing becomes crystal clear – I can express my feelings far better in written form than speaking them.  I actually have a hard time expressing my feelings by speaking about them.  I can write about them with an ease that is often shocking even to me.  Writing as a career path will thus always be there if I write something worth publishing.

Business fits me as it is a very broad area to have a career.  Given my experience, and education Human Resources seems to be the best fit and that is the direction I have been going. Business simply provides the extra money I am going to need in the short amount of years I have left to achieve some of my goals.

I could always ‘retire’ later on to be a teacher in a college at the end of things as I am pretty sure I will continue my education at some point. I just don’t see myself doing nothing.  At the very least, if the writing takes off, I will continue to do that right up until they burn me and scatter my ashes.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

This fork is coming up very quickly and it is not so much a matter of direction as it is a location.  I am torn on a more emotional level about where to live these days than what career direction I need to have. From the standpoint of self-reliance, I need more emotional support.

I know that sounds backward, but my list of friends has gotten really short. I need to build a new group of friends and relationships and I don’t want to do that until I know what job I am doing long term and where I am going to live. Where to live is the big question, but one thing I know for sure, it can’t be where I am now.  There is too much pain associated with this place now for me to stay here.  I really undercut my confidence at times and confidence is key in self-reliance.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

This is about vocation, not a job to me.  I think being a writer is a vocation to me, I just need to make it pay. I think business will be a good vocation for me as at the end of the day I can shut it off and go home. Much better than the old career I had. I want something I can enjoy and is part of my life, not my whole existence. I can always work hard if there is a life aim that I am shooting for and the job doesn’t become the life aim.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I want to still help people through their problems. I also don’t want their problems to drag me down.  Hospitality is about compassion and helping not self-abandonment.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I just wrote about justice yesterday so you can go back and see that.  Today I will just say that writing about it cleared my head quite a bit and I feel much better where I stand.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

I like this one, I just need to be more consistent.  I think I have just reached a point of weariness with the semester and want it over.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – A Living Definition of Justice

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Defining justice is not easy especially when you have realized a couple things. 1) That there is no such thing as fair. 2) There may not be an afterlife or a supreme being to balance the scales after this life is over.

The first means that justice is not based on fairness so much as equitable treatment of each person as much as possible.  No matter what might seem fair, it isn’t always going to happen. Something you can either accept which will give you a lot more peace, or fight which will lead to personal strife.  Hopefully, the price of that strife is worth it, so the peace that follows more than makes up for it.

The second notion is a little harder to accept and one of the reasons I think belief in the afterlife with a supreme being that balances all the scales of justice is a common concept among many religions.  It might just be wishful thinking to a childish hope.  It might well be that you may be the victim of a crime or an injustice and there will never be any resolution to it in this life or the next.  What do you do about that?

For me, I have decided that it is more important to act justly than receive recompense as my personal definition of justice.  I may never see justice done to certain people that I think deserve it, but I can treat people with just dealings that fit a certain definition of justice.  I can behave justly, so perhaps this definition works best:

Justice: Just behavior or treatment of others, a concern for justice, peace, and genuine respect for people.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I need this sense of justice in my life as I deal with others. I don’t always like the people that I deal with, but there is still a need to be respectful of others’ humanity regardless of personal feelings.  Being respectful has its own rewards. People also know when that respect is genuine or not. That means there is a need for this definition to be more than lip service but a genuine lifestyle.

Wants (Freki):

If you want to be treated justly, you need to treat others with justice.  Even though you may not receive it at times, you will never receive justice if you are a person who never gives it.  If you play favorites, don’t be surprised if people do the same back. If you do treat people equally, then you have a better chance of receiving the same in return. Personally, this is why my definition of continues to be about respect for everyone’s humanity.

Reason (Huginn):

Reason address the subject of mercy verses rightness.  I have pretty much abandoned the notion that forgiveness should just be given.  I find a whole lot of injustice goes on and it basically white-washed in the name of forgiveness.  A lot of injustice takes place and is glossed over in the name of ‘God will fix it later’ or ‘it’s better for you to forgive’.  Reason tells me that those two statements might not be true.  Sometimes when you receive justice in this world for wrongs, that’s when you find peace. It is also more responsible to act like we are the only instruments of justice and not believe blindly that others will do it for you later, even a supreme being.

Wisdom (Muninn):

The wisdom issue is when to forgive and when to demand justice. I forgive a lot as most things are just not worth crying or expending the emotional energy to achieve in regards to justice.  Life isn’t fair, so many things are just a reflection of that and you can spend your life bitter if you don’t let a lot of them go.  There are a few things and they center around I know that I won’t be at peace until I see the scales balance.  It is identifying these issues and how to approach them knowing that I might never receive justice. Patience again is key but also knowing the fine line between vengeance and justice.

Conclusion:

I have about three things in my life right now that I struggle with concerning justice, the rest is just noise and things I forgive most of the time. These things haunt my dreams and thoughts almost every day.

1) I struggle to still respect the humanity of certain people, it is hard being equitable at times when you see douchebags get away with shit in how they treat others.

2) I still struggle with how people perceive me as more responsible for my affair than the young woman with whom I was involved.  The only thing I hold against her is that she really hasn’t or I haven’t heard of her doing much to correct this notion. I would give it as much thought as the rest of the issues in our relationship – chalk it up to love lost and ‘that’s the way some relationships go’  except for this one thing.  Hurts, but I can live with most of it. I wish her well for the most part.  The favoritism toward her, which is unmerited in my opinion, and she doesn’t seem to have ever done anything to correct herself that bothers me.

3) The man who handled things ‘for me’ in front of the church claiming to be my friend. Yeah, my hope would be to see poetic justice done where his lifestyle of lies is revealed for what it is. He is as phony as a three dollar bill, but some people think he is a good man.  I know better now.  He dumps anyone who is no longer of use to him, as evidenced by the people he has broken faith with who are in a long line of broken relationships behind him. When they no longer serve his purpose or are an advantage to him, he dumps them often deceiving them in the process.  It is a pretty clear pattern going back quite a way.  If I saw poetic justice done to him, I would clap. If I had the chance to be a part of it – yep, no hesitation to pull that trigger.  I just patiently wait to see if it will ever happen or I will be given the opportunity, as I know it would give me a great deal of peace to see it or help it along.

See the source image

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!