The Higher Virtues

“Sappy Love Songs” – The Skald’s Lyre

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

Musical Journal:

Let’s See Head Banger, Hard Rocker, Alternative Hard Rocker.  I suppose you would see a trend in what I like if you were to look at what I listen to most of the time.  But then you would see a few songs and have that ‘one of these things is not like the other” moment.  It would probably be that odd sappy love song.  Yep, despite my hard edge with most of my musical choices, I am a sucker for a good love song.

Probably the reason for this is that being an empath I can feel that shit.  Love is a strong emotion and in music, I have this ability to feel not only the message of the song but the emotions of the performer.  I mean I feel that shit in my soul.  I can feel the emotions of the singers in particular but musicians can definitely push it too. It is this connection of strong feeling particularly love that can melt me on some of these.

Mostly though these songs remind me of events involving my life regarding love.  There has been more than one woman I have loved over the years and some of these songs take me back to them.  There are also recent events where I have in many ways fallen in love with my wife anew.   So here is a list of some of my favorites and a few with significance.

Personal Significance:

Silly Love Songs: Love this song mostly because if you listen to it is very multilayered the music is high end from a talent perspective. The bass player in this one is off the chart.  It makes the song. The simple lyrics and melody are classic. For me, it is a simple reminder that no matter how much love hurts or can cause us trouble we never get tired of it and the song that sing about it.

I Will Always Love You: I have felt this way now a couple times with the women I have loved and lost now.  I guess Ms. Houston sings for all of us that have been there  The lyrics and her voice are what kills this one. She is one of those legendary voices that never gets old. Now mostly it is how I feel like I am singing this to two women in particular where I understand if I stayed in their life, I would have only gotten in the way, but because of my personality type and who I am the message is true. I never completely stop loving a woman I have fallen in love with, that is just who I am.  I adapt to them being gone but I never stop.

Honestly: This is the song that reminds me of my first love.  It reminds me of how I felt back then with her.  Now when I hear it, I get taken back to then.  It is still hard to listen to at times.  You know.  The ‘what if’, it gets you.

All of Me:  Another song that calls back an old flame.  I still can’t listen to this one all the way through. At least not yet.  Events are too recent I guess. John’s voice is iconic and the lyrics absolutely perfect. I have those feelings of loss every time so I stay away from it. Maybe someday it will be different.

Happy to Be Stuck with You: My wife and I never had “our song”.  Until now.  I guess it fits our relationship – love, stuck with each other but loving it and it is a little fun as we are better friends than we have been in a long time.  Huey and the News brought back the kind fo doo whop sound with modern 80s pop together in an interesting way.  They definitely had a lot of songs like this.  This one is ours – my wife and I  – stuck with each other and loving every minute of it.  Fun and love are both expressed.  Nothing like laughing and loving at the same time.  The video is kind of like that too.

Play List:

Silly Love Songs – Paul McCartney & The Wings: 

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston: 

Honestly – Stryper:

All of Me – John Legend:

Happy to Be Stuck with You – Huey Lewis and the News:

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Strong” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I am drawing this week to a close with Being stronger.  I am defining strong in its broadest possible sense in that I am not just talking physical strength, but mental, emotional and societal. One I have learned is stronger is stronger regardless of where it is or what kind it is. For me, this last year since leaving the ministry has been about finding new strength for life and I have found that in Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity there are great strengths to be found and developed.

The real issue is to always be strong and always be able to handle what life throws at you.  Sometimes you do shit to yourself and then you have to deal with that with the other strengths you have. I have learned a lot through failure.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

I could be even more fully Paleo Diet.  I have pretty much been doing pretty well here as my cheat meals and having a carb limit helps a lot but in truth, I could go full paleo this summer as well. I am going to read my book with the recipes again and see what I can come up with.  My wife gets tired of the same old things but there are some different things I could do that might be good for both of us. I really need to take a cooking class someday.

My rebellious act is in the planning stages and I have some time so…

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

My program could use a little more walking but the lifting and stretching are spot-on.  No worries here.

My tattoos are coming.  Right now I have been saving for my mini vacation with the wife but if I come back when any left over it will be the seed money for my next thing which is my tattoo(s).  Once I have enough for the first one I will be going for it.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

The mini-vacation coming up Saturday through Tuesday will mean this goal will be crossed off by next week. After my tattoos, my genetic test is on the list.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

I have gained l lot of wisdom this last year.  I can thank a lot of things for that.  For myself my simple refusal to quit or go down helps.  But also there have been some true relationships as well.  The simple act of doing things to keep improving myself is also a great way to just keep going.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

The more I think about it the more I can work things on this list to the daily list the better. I just need to figure it out. I really also need one day or two to just say – this is my day I do what I want. I am thinking that days I work are actually more productive with the other things it is just a matter of how much time things take.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Working” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

For some people, work seems to be a dirty word.  As much as I can complain about work and at the end of the day, I am happy and ready to go home, I take a lot of ownership in what I do. There is a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day so that is something to draw honor from.

There is also a sense that I am always working which comes from following the Virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality. In a very real way, they become part of this lifestyle of working to build my life into something free, productive and compassionate. Working to have those things that make life have value.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I don’t mind my job right now I just know that if my wife and I are going to have self-reliance in the future, it needs to change into something that is more personally fulfilling to me and quite frankly of a higher income. Getting debt free and building what we need to be independent is a central thing with me so finding a new job that does that is central to my focus right now.  The ultimate goal is to work for myself.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019 (achieved)

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

I have decided that the nine goals I set every year will not be renewed until March of each year.  I will just strikethrough the goals on the blog until then.  The idea then for goals is to set nine one year goals each year and work to achieve them.

The novel is started and I am enjoying it so far.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

I am not sure about the goal here.  I guess if I am looking at it from a hospitality point of view in the context of Asatru it might be to join a Kindred.  That said I might achieve the same result from just creating a group to play Dungeons and Dragons. Once I know where my career is going a little better, then I might be able to know more about what I can do.  Owning a small home that is isolated and provides a private meditative environment is still on my bucket list.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Justice seems to be more and more about living as a just person to me.  It perhaps is perhaps this idea of living justly that is giving me a lot more peace with things these days.

Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

So far so good this week.  The real issue is as I expected which is my own level of discipline,

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Asatru and Honor” – Of Wolves and Ravens – Honor

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

As I start the cycle of going through each of the nine noble virtues I am using a little help and I am also looking back at the last time I did this.

The help I am referring to is this website page which I have looked at often to make sure I was thinking about the Nine Noble Virtues in the understanding of some of those that follow Asatru. It has been a good resource for me and I want to share it.  For these discussions, I am engaging the ideas found here as I write, so it is a good backdrop.

Website: Ravenbok – The particular page is: The Values of Asatru

Last time I looked at Honor was January 8, 2019, and I described it as the most difficult virtue: Honor: The Most Difficult Virtue.  I would probably stand by that idea still as it is still the most difficult virtue to grasp because it is so personal.

Without honor we are nothing.  Honor is the central element of Asatru as far as its central moral imperative. If Norse mythology teaches anything that is truly valuable, then it is that honor matters. People with honor are valued and respected long after death, people without it are despised. Those trying to embrace the Asatru ideal of Honor should strive to be the former. To guide myself into a better understanding of it, I look to my wolves and ravens.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

“Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens first.”

Needs (Geri):

When I left my faith in Christianity, the need for a new moral compass was very real.  I was struggling with a lot of questions of self-worth,  What was my value if I wasn’t a Christian minister? The main question though was a question of the value of self. The need for honor was overwhelming in the light of the fact I really had nothing outside of my faith before.  My marriage at the time was bad.  My career as a minister was over.  What was central to myself was a big question.  I needed answers and I found the first and most significant answer in Asatru and its Nine Noble Virtues.  In particular, Honor became the foremost virtue in my mind in addressing these questions.

Wants (Freki):

Once I knew the need for honor was present, I wanted it.  It began to stabilize my life quite a bit.  I had a lot of questions but my conversion from Christianity to being a Deistic Humanist Pagan needed focus and some way to make it consistent. Honor became a particular challenge for me.  I was following my heart but it had no guidance or wisdom and Honor came in as I not only needed it, I wanted it so I could find a path back to being respectable without all the nonsense fo faith in the Chrisitan creed. I wanted to know that I was on a path where my inner value of myself would lead to an outward reputation that was respected or at least – feared.

Reason (Huginn):

Honor is knowing what is true about yourself.  This takes a hard look at yourself to see what is true and then change accordingly.  Meditation and thought about who you are is essential and I have found this road requires a lot of thinking things through to find the paths that need to be taken that are both reasonable and wise. This is the start of finding the honorable path. Asatru helps with this in that it gives me other virtues that are tools for finding honor – Truth and Fidelity being the most notable, but all the other virtues in a sense combine into honor. This path I am on is a rational one because of this.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I find that when it comes to honor, wisdom says that honor leads to a good path that is well chosen not just because it is of the most advantage to one’s self, but because it also benefits others. Honor leads to respect and respect is a benefit to anyone who has it.  It leads to a lot of benefits when you have a society where people are honorable and respected for it.  There is no coercion or fraud in such a society and everyone benefits.  This is the wise path made possible by being each person being honored as each person pursues Honor.

Conclusion:

I still struggle with honor mostly because I know I am capable of greater things than I am doing.  I just feel the need to catch my breath with all that is happened this past year. The taking stock of where I need to go and then move forward. What matters to me is Honor – my own feeling that I have value.  To know what is true about myself and work to make it better. I cannot walk the path as a follower of the virtues of Asatru or as The Grey Wayfarer without it. So it remains the most difficult but most essential virtue.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Always Prepared” – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day. 

Journal Entry:

In my mind, one should always be prepared for a fight, but at the same time, hope one does not actually have to fight.  It is this be prepared for war, but enjoy the peace attitude that resonates in my soul when I see the sayings of warriors.  It is about being in a position of strength or power over the situation so you can steer it toward a peaceful end.  No matter what chaos may be around you; you are calm and prepared for the fight, but also work so that a fight never comes.

For me, this preparation starts with mindset. It here that all the virtues shine pretty brightly, but none brighter than Honor, Courage and Truth.  Honor, because without self-worth and a sense of inner value one does not have the basic foundation from which to fight.  Courage is the will to fight.  Truth is the reason to fight. The three of them represent my axe, my sword, and my spear.

This week I will be using my journal posts to check in on goals and my bucket list.

Honor:

“Honor is the feeling of inner value and worth from which one knows that one is noble of being, and the desire to show respect for this quality when it is found in the world”

Principle – To possess a feeling of inner value about myself and my future with a desire to find the same in others.

Goal: Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).

Bucket List: Hike the Northern Lakeshore Trail along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

When this post drops today, it will be day number 246 for The Grey Wayfarer. There are 119 left for the year cycle to be complete.  Next week I am going on a mini vacation with the wife for our anniversary so I need to use this week to write ahead a little bit so I don’t have to do very much writing on my vacation.

My hike remains a goal.  If I end up moving to another state, I will still have the goal of returning to the Upper Peninsula and doing the hike.  I really haven’t set a deadline on this and probably won’t until I have a better job from a financial point of view so I have some additional income to set aside for the hiking equipment I need.

Courage:

“Courage is the bravery to do what is right always.”

Principle – Act with Courage at the right time.

Goal: Cross one thing off bucket list every year. Deadline March 31st

Bucket List: Go Back to Budapest, Hungary for a vacation.

I have a few bucket list items in sight and so one should meet this requirement goal requirement very soon. Budapest still remains as a bucket list item.  One of those long term things that I know will probably mark a different point in my life.

Truth:

“Truth is the willingness to be honest and to say what one knows to be true and right. It is often better to not say anything at all if one cannot be honest.”

Principle – To Be Honest, and Speak Truth to Myself and Others.  To Be Silent in the presence of Fools.

Goal: To Write a Non-Fiction Book by March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: Learn Latin by March 31st, 2020 to the point I can take a test and show my self proficient.

I started my non-fiction book but the basic way I write is that I focus on what I feel the inspiration to write on at the time.  So my novel has been getting the majority of the time but I do poke at this book a little. I need to probably put a little more effort into it.  Probably the best way to approach the non-fiction book and the novel is to make sure of the three days a week dedicated to writing at least one day gets dedicated to each and then have one flex day to work on what I feel inspired to work on.

Latin has been on the table a bit lately. I am trying to finish some other work first.

Higher Virtue: Love:

Love is at times far to complicated a virtue for me and other times it is clear and simple.  I simply don’t want to be without it in my life.  I draw a lot of strength from it and motivation.  I just wish it didn’t make you so vulnerable and thus hurt so much when it is cut off from you.

Morning Routine:

  1. Review Nine Noble Virtues (NNV), Principles, Goals and Bucket List
  2. Meditation – 3 min.
  3. Check Communications and Email.
  4. Paper Journal: Create Daily Log and To Do List.
  5. Stretching / Yoga
  6. Breakfast, Medications, and Supplements.
  7. Shower and Personal Hygiene
  8. Get Dressed for the Day

This week is all about the Routine. The morning routine is pretty solid but I want it all seven days complete this week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on Health” – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I have been thinking a lot about health these days as I have hit some milestones regarding health.  1) I just passed my third anniversary of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and 2) I stepped on a scale at the gym and for the first time in roughly a decade, I fell below 282 lbs to 281 lbs. The first of these was a wake-up call as far as nutrition was concerned as I had relied heavily on exercise to keep my weight under control and it was not working as well as before.  The second is representative of losing 67 lbs. in the last year and watching my sugar scores drop accordingly.

I have to say the first thing I had to chuck was the traditional government recommended nutritional guidelines because after doing them for roughly a year, I was getting nowhere. So headed a different direction by basically dumping the idea that regular interval carbs were going to help me.  In fact, I felt it was kind of weird that the answer to having an insulin resistant body was to give it more work to do.  I found there were some doctors who agreed with me and the video below is one of them who did a TED talk. I share this for anyone struggling with diabetes, you may have to do what your doctor and nutritionist says is wrong but actually works.

So I went Paleo for the most part.  I have my cheats so I can enjoy some of the things I love to eat from time to time but it is for the most part severely limited to a couple times a week.  The results speak for themselves. That said healthy living is more than about living better and hopefully longer. I find what I have to do to get there each day is a direct reflection of my Self Virtues of Discipline, Perseverance, and Fidelity.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

Goal: To follow A FULL Paleo Diet Plan from April 1, 2019, to March 31, 2020.

Bucket List: Do a rebellious act on April Fools Day, April 1st, 2020.

Nutrition is the main focus of health when it comes to discipline.  The discipline of going to the gym when I can and walking are both almost automatic for me.  The real struggle and the real key to long term and lifetime results are watching with discipline every single day what you are putting into your body.  It really has stretched my notion of discipline being applied to specifics such as exercise and events with a time limit.  I now extend the idea to the overall lifestyle which is much more important.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

Goal: To engage in an exercise program that involves weightlifting, hiking/walking, and stretching/ yoga an average of three days a week from April 1st, 2019 to March 31st, 2020

Bucket List: To get at least one tattoo by March 18th, 2020.

In weightlifting, we talk a lot about pushing to failure. It is intentionally taking that last set until you can’t do another rep.  It is intentionally failing so that you can get results through perseverance. It has changed my perspective about failure as a tool for getting better results. To intentional push things until you can’t do anymore – you fail.  Then the next time you do that same thing you often find you can go a little further, lift a little heavier, etc. Probably a mindset that is applicable to more than weightlifting.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

Goal: Celebrate my wife and I’s 30th anniversary (June 10th, 2019) with a mini-vacation

Bucket List: Discover all the countries of origin from my genetics and visit them all by March 18th, 2029.

In all of my health pursuits, I find that this is where I feel the most loyal to myself. I am not doing healthy things for anyone else.  I won’t say no one else benefits but the bottom line, the person who most directly benefits from me eating right and exercising is me. There is no feeling like being healthy and that is totally directed at me.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

The wisdom of all this extends far beyond all the health results that will allow me to live long enough and healthy enough to dance with all my granddaughters at their weddings (the oldest of them is five and the youngest is one).  It goes far more into a spiritual vein as well as all the things I do are leading to me the wise paths of discipline, perseverance, and fidelity.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting/Stretching – Minimum 3 days per week.
  2. Walking – Minimum 3 days a week
  3. Job Search – Minimum 3 days a week
  4. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  5. Writing – 3 times a week
  6. Latin – 3 times per week
  7. Cheat Meal Count: 3 per week.

I really want a full week of routine this coming week.  I need to prove this is practical and not a time consuming or realize things need to be changed so they are both practical and not time-consuming.

Goals and Bucket List Items Achieved (Since Summer 2018):

Goals Achieved: 2

  1. Graduated College with a BS in Political Science and minors in Economics and International Business – December 2018
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019 – May 2019

Bucket List Items Achieved: 0

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Moving from Religious Slavery to Rational Freedom” – Odin’s Eye – Deism

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

I remember as a pastor helping people through so-called tests of faith.  Now as a more deistic person in search of a rational divinity, I would say that it wasn’t so much a test of faith, but a person running into legitimate problems with their religion and their rational mind trying to get them to see that.  A lot of the times this doubt of ones religion is interpreted as doubt in one’s faith and that is only partially correct.  Regardless it is not a bad thing, but rather our own mind trying to help us see that we have bought into a pack of lies.

Religion doesn’t seem to have very many positive purposes.  It is used to control and manipulates through fear or by creating imaginary concepts that are passed off as read to change people’s thinking and thus their behavior. Occasionally a religion might talk about virtue or character that human beings should have or exercise and in that regard religion might do something positive.

For myself, this transition into being a deistic humanist with pagan tendencies is about firstly a search to see if a rational god can be found.  Secondly, I am trying to throw off the trappings of religion to embrace a more spiritual and practical philosophy of living my life. I work to be spiritually attuned to the world around me but rationally grounded.  Mostly though I seek to be free of religion’s negative effects and thus freer.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith that there is something beyond ourselves.  We talk of romantic love for another person but there is no rational reason to believe it is anything more than hormones being exchanged.  Yet, there we are talking and very much believing we fall in love, that making love is more than just hedonistic pleasure for the purpose of procreation, etc. Concepts such as beauty and friendship fall into this category as well, there is more to human senses that the five senses and more to determine what is true and real other than the rational mind. I have faith that this is so still.

Religion:

I avoid religion as much as possible. I find people who are religious to be inherently self-righteous as much of religion centers on “we have found the truth about the divine”.  It is this belief that leads people to think they have arrived in some place that is superior to others whether they openly say so or not. They find themselves looking at others either as poor wretches who still need to find ‘the truth’ or ‘sinner in the hands of an angry god’.  There are inherent condescension and hubris to any religious belief.

Theology:

My theology as a deist pretty much does not have a divine entity or entities that intervene in human affairs. I won’t say that I don’t believe miracles are possible as even Einstien conceded in his probability based universe, all things are possible no matter how unlikely.  I have just seen too much as a Pentecostal believer to believe miracles are as common as they say.  I have seen a tremendous amount of con artist fraud and sleight of hand magician’s tricks to buy that it happens. I don’t fall into the deist problem of believing in the larger miracle of creation and not believing smaller things called miracles can’t happen, but I also have found that most miracles have a rational explanation and usually it is some form of deception followed by a large amount of confirmation bias.

Spirituality:

I would consider myself no longer religious but spiritual.  My rational mind is part of that spiritually.  I just think there is more to mankind that a computer lodged in the head of a biochemical body. If there is any spiritual practice that has changed for me is I don’t spend a lot of time praying, if at all.  I realized that people when they get a result they wanted often cite that as proof prayer works.  I challenge such people to rationally do an experiment for a bit.  Keep a record of everything you pray about and be absolutely honest about how all of the things on that list are ‘answered’ I know when I did this about 20% of the things I was praying for came about.  80% either didn’t happen at all or things went a completely different way from how I was praying.

No, I spend more time thinking and meditating on things to understand them these days rather than praying.  I find it leads to far more freedom of thought and a better way to navigate through life’s challenges.

Conclusion:

I became a diest because of ignorance.  I think the human race simply does not know enough to dismiss the possibility of the divine. What I also am fairly sure of is that most religions are irrational and are basically attempts to either fool people or control their thoughts and behaviors using appeal to divine authority to do so.  I search for a rational divine, not one which is defined by others through religion.  It has been a very liberating choice.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Thoughts on Freedom” – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

Governments don’t grant freedom.  Religion doesn’t grant freedom.  The right to liberty and freedom simply is, it is others who are arrogant in their presumption that they have the ‘right’ to take it away or grant it.  If you need permission to do something from the government, religion or any other force, you are not free to do it. If we are going to say liberty is an inalienable right, no permission is needed for it to exist. The best we can do with the government is hope it will defend our liberty.  The best we can hope from religion is that it minds its own business about the way we live our own life.

But as the anarchists will point out, the very fact that government exists is an affront to the idea of rights and liberty specifically.   I agree with them theoretically.  I have always felt the problems with anarchism are not the theory and philosophy of it, but rather the practical application.  It overlooks one key thing about human beings – we are inherently tribal. I think the founding fathers of the United States using their reason recognized this, so they understood that government is a necessary evil and tried to create one that actually protected the rights of its citizens and one that was so restricted as to not encroach on rights quickly or without restraint.  Smart practical men, but they knew over time even their system would fail if it wasn’t maintained by people who value freedom and liberty.

For me personally, I am free because I am free.  I alone bear the responsibility of my actions and The Book of Rabyd 2:2 kicks in a lot. It is the following of the virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality that do more to maintain and follow after freedom than anything else.

Self-Reliance:

“Self-Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual but also for the family, clan, tribe, and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of June 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

Liberty and Freedom are the two reasons why I work so hard for self-reliance.  Anything else is dependence and it can lead to slavery.  The cage can be guided but it is still a cage. The more you are independent through being self-reliant, the more options you have that are created by you and that leads to freedom.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with the enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Working on it.

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

This kind of freedom and liberty doesn’t just come to you, you have to work to create it.  It doesn’t mean you have to work harder but that may be involved.  You can work smarter or create something that does some of the work for you.  But freedom and liberty are found in the fact that you have chosen the work for yourself and that you enjoy it.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own my own home by March 2024.

Being prosperous enough through liberty and freedom with the other two virtues, allows you to be generous.  I think this is the one missing element of the entire capitalist structure. This is not the fault of capitalism but rather capitalists who succumb to greed rather than hospitality which would lead to greater overall prosperity.  If you can’t let go of what you create then you truly are not free of its control over you.  Slavery takes a lot of forms and one of those forms is being a slave to having to own and control everything.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

The best way to live creating justice is to live in liberty not just for yourself but for others as well. Justice means you let people be free to pursue their own path and don’t interfere or meddle in any way. You respect freedom and liberty as forces enough ot let others have it.

Daily Routine:

  1. Wife: Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging – Organize, revise, write a new post for the next day, 15 min. work on fiction.
  3. Reading – half-hour. Priority order: work, school, pleasure
  4. Study / Homework / Research: half hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  5. Personal Business: record financial transactions, savings plan actions, budgeting, appointments, other actions, etc.
  6. Check Communications and Email after 2 pm but before 4 pm.
  7. Weekly Routine Items
  8. Nutrition: Daily Carb Count – 2

June 2 starts another full week for me and I am going to try to be in a position to put all my routines into action more fully. I have a few goals that depend on these routines so I need to get better at getting them complete.

Still walking,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Asatru” – Of Wolves and Ravens – The Nine Noble Virtues

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I started following the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru simply because they were a good list of virtues I wanted in my life.  In large part, it was my constant meditation on the Virtue of Fidelity that eventually brought me back to my wife. These nine virtues are now a very essential part of my own spiritual practice using my understanding of what it means to be a pagan.  What it means to be an honorable human being for that matter.

What I began to discover is that Asatru is a whole very new and modern form of neo-paganism. It attempts to recapture the pagan root of the Germanic and Scandinavian world before Christianity took over. The video below is a very good overview of what Asatru is as a religion by a man taking a very informative view on it.  He recommends a book that is on the way to my house at the time of this writing. I want to learn more out of curiosity sake if nothing else.

My own practice has very little to do with the religious aspects of Asatru.  I follow the virtues.  I find the stories of Norse Mythology and the various practices of Asatru inspiring and fascinating but ritual and religion are not a central thing to me.  My issue is living a good life following after virtue.  I must say though if I was ever going to be ‘religious’ again – I would pick this one.  More practical than most of them.

I center most of my personal paganism on following a life philosophy that leads to prosperity of life. Whether it is the prosperity is foundational, business or for myself. If there is a god, or gods or whatever, I am fairly sure they expect me to handle my own issues.  There is no real wrong or right way to a pagan after all so perhaps my paganism is as much about my philosophy of life as spirituality. This actually fits well with Asatru so there is a lot of common ground between me and those who practice the more religious aspect of Asatru.  Both of us find the simplicity and challenge of the Nine Noble Virtues to be central to achieving personal peace and prosperity.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

If you have ever lost your faith in something or left behind an old religion, you will know the need for finding something that grounds you and gives you ethical and moral focus. In my case, I found the Nine Noble Virtues fairly quickly to be a value centering philosophy that didn’t require the religious element.  There was a hole in my moral and ethical philosophy, a real need, and the NNV filled it quite nicely.

Wants (Freki):

I wanted something solid and simple as a philosophy to live by.  I got sick of the multitude of interpretive points one could give to Christian scripture and you could pretty much make the Bible say whatever you wanted with very few limitations. I also wanted to dump the whole appeal to authority issue and while the NNV are solid virtues, they can not be looked at authority so much as a guide.  The only authority I have for my moral philosophy and ethics is myself and so finding something solid to both meditate on and provide a basic framework for that was a big want.  The Nine Noble Virtues have performed well in this role.

Reason (Huginn):

The Nine Noble Virtues all have the reason element I was looking for.  There are very good solid rational reasons to embrace each virtue.  They have good results that lead to peace and prosperity.  They are rationally practical That said it still takes a lot of thinking to employ them and implement them.  They are not easy always in application but they work.

Wisdom (Muninn):

See the source image

I come back to the wisdom of this quote by Markus Aurelius all the time.  Virtue is its own reward in this life to be sure.  It creates solid memories for your loved ones and for yourself leads to prosperity and a good life. The afterlife, if there is one, simply becomes a matter of whether there is a good or evil judge on the throne.  The good judge should see ones’ virtue and reward it, the evil judge needs human defiance.

Conclusion:

Over the next nine weeks, I will be returning to the Nine Noble Virtues one at a time.  Every time I do this there is a spiritual awakening of a sort.  I may not be a religious follower of Asatru, but I respect the virtues that all of those who follow it try to live up to.  It is something I will continue for much of the foreseeable future.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“The Last Sermon” – The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 11

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Moon’s Day

One year ago today (May 27th, 2018), I preached my last sermon as a Christian pastor. When people ask me how I am doing, I am doing as well as can be expected, given the time of year and the memories involved with it. Part of that is leaving the identity behind of ‘pastor’.  This week is dotted with a lot of emotions, but leaving the ministry behind for good was bittersweet and it speaks to me of waste.  The thought that I have wasted 20 years of my life crosses my mind a lot.

My last sermon couldn’t have been more ironic. I was in an affair preaching on adultery from the ten commandments. My basic message was that if Jesus’ words on adultery were the facts, then we have all failed and we just need to cling to grace because that is all we got. No one is going to make it if the standard is not lusting.  No one could meet that standard.

Emotionally this was my most difficult sermon ever. I just wanted the service to end and go home. Neither my flame at the time or my wife was there and I felt alone and just sick of being a pastor and all of it. I went home, the woman I was having an affair with told her aunt about it.  I told my wife and the rest is a painful history.

I wouldn’t have minded so much but when it came to my last church, the message of grace seemed completely lost, even though I had been preaching it for nine and a half years to them. Lots of wasted words from my point of view. The man I entrusted my resignation to engaged in a plan to basically make things to be much worse than they really were.

For the record once again, I have never actually had sex with the woman I had an affair with, in fact ever.  At the time of my resignation, it had barely graduated beyond “I love you” and holding hands at a prayer meeting that looked normal to everyone else.  People made this to be much more than it was and that hurt too.  Because the man in charge let it happen on purpose. He told me he didn’t want gossip to spread through the church which is very sensible. He also told me he didn’t want to drag the woman into it either to protect her, something that was my concern as well. But once he had my resignation I had revised removing that confession line at his request, he called the woman up within probably minutes of me giving it to him and asked her permission to tell the story.

In the week’s that followed he did everything possible to make sure that gossip and rumor were exactly what happened. He deliberately dragged the woman into it (made possible by the fact we had broken up at the time and we were not talking to each other)  to do this and used her to get to me. I looked like I was hiding something, which I wasn’t. He looked like the hero so he could feed that ego and hero complex of his. He used it in the following weeks to paint a picture of me as a monster, the woman as a victim and him as the white knight that was here to bring the monster down. What a load of bullshit he piled up. All of it. 

In the end, he used the emotional hurt and anger of the congregation to get me fired and no severance given. I was never informed of anything that was going on officially until it was all over. The whole process was done without me being asked to speak on my own behalf one time.  ‘Grace’ and ‘Mercy’ at their finest.  That’s sarcasm if you can’t tell.  Bitter Sarcasm.   

I have forgiven the congregation for this.  They were misinformed and misled by a man who has to be in control of everything because he is personally insecure. People like him are in every church and the real cause of problems and why churches don’t succeed and have the reputations they have.  I have even forgiven the woman’s busybody aunt who did the most to engage in gossip. She was just acting in anger and hurt and I very much understand it.  She actually had good reasons to act the way she did, even if her actions were not very Christian.  Whatever that means. 

But the man himself – if there is any force of justice in the world I hope he has to experience the betrayal, manipulation, lies, theft of honor, and all the rest of it that he visited on me himself.  That karma visits on him the exact same thing he did to me. If nothing else I hope he lives a long and miserable life surrounded by no one at the end of it. That would be an end which he deserves because of his very utilitarian view of friendship. His friends no longer seeing him as useful so they simply don’t show up to help or comfort him. That would be truly fitting. 

As far as me and The Grey, this ‘one year ago thing’ is bothering me but I am moving through it. I refuse to go down to this storm.  I want to walk through it laughing at it. Mostly though, I just want a new sense of identity beyond the pastoral ministry thing.  It’s garbage to me now. An old cloak I have discarded. The white hat, the cross, and white cloak no longer suit me.  I prefer grey vestments and vulknut medallion now.

Mostly, my wife and I are trying to build some new memories. I worry about her as she has to get used to a man who is in many ways, not the same as he was. A man who is damaged in some ways, trying to heal as well.  Who will never completely heal and will no longer be what he was.  I want her to be happy because my own happiness depends on it.  I just don’t know about my side of it a lot.

The last sermon I preached in the church was ironic but also fitting.  The whole thing of pastoral ministry is adultery in my opinion now.  A pastor’s church is a mistress.  One that takes a lot and gives back very little and much like a real mistress drives a wedge between you and those you love as a pastor. A smart man gets out a lot sooner than I did.

I walk The Grey right now.  It is this time of year last year where every day has some significant event and memory that makes it difficult.  It probably won’t stop until the summer is over. I am just trying to live my life and living it in joy as much as possible.  If it wasn’t for the guilt and pain I have associated with these memories of last year, it would be easier.  The thing is I have come to accept that this walk is my path, but I can’t control the weather. I wish I could.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!