Religion

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 95 – The Unattainable Desires of Life

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves and that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Open Song: Halestorm – Amen

It is no secret that I gravitate toward songs and bands who speak about faith and religion and so this song by Halestorm is sort of one of my anthems from time to time.  The words speak to me and definitely get my ‘Amen’.

Poem:

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I will leave the poetry to The Ruined Man this week. Definitely my thoughts about myself this week. There are simply some things that have to be dealt with alone.

Meditation:

I am not a big one for fate.  I think we make our own luck and our own success.  This proverb definitely resonates with me.

Song of Preparation: Smash Mouth – Walkin’ On The Sun:

Some things are indeed impossible and other things make you shake your head.  Smash Mouth seems to get that in this song.

Text: Havamal 95

Only the mind knows
what lives near the heart;
a man is alone with his own spirit.
There is no sickness worse
for any wise man
than to have nothing to love.

Sermon:

There are a lot of different ways to translate this Stanza but for me it reflects that only each person knows what he truly desires but there is no sickness worse than desiring and loving that which you cannot have.

I suppose it might be speaking to that old adage about youth being wasted on the young.  That once you figure out what you should do with life, you don’t have the energy or the time to obtain it. Maybe.

For me this speaks more to the sadness that can sometimes develop when you finally realize what you want, but there is no way to get it.  I have experienced this many times and I have come to realize that in those moments, it is often time to change our desires and focus elsewhere.  If there is any wisdom in discovering a desire is unattainable; it is the wisdom that says move on and continue to live life.  Something else will come along that is attainable.

If you can’t do that well there is a sickness of soul that will come over you known to me as The Grey and to others as depression.  It’s amazing how as we get older depression gets more common and I can’t help but wonder if it is this finally figuring out what life is about and yet not being able to attain it.  I hope that whatever you and I desire it is attainable. Such a sickness is more than I have been able to bear at times and I wish it on no one.

I could go with the other interpretation of this passage which says there is nothing worse than to grow old and have nothing to love. I would agree and I feel this is why most people die in a lack of hope.  They stop having something to love and without that, there is little motivation to keep on living.  It’s why I want to keep a bucket list in front of me forever.

I don’t know.  For me personally, it is the truth that no one knows what is on the heart of a man or woman other than that person themselves that is the glaring truth. A person could tell you the whole truth about what they want but the truth is that what they want is actually deeper still.  It’s good to remember that the closest council any man keeps is with himself. No person reveals all of what they are and that is a good thing to remember.

Closing Song: Monty Python – The Meaning of Life:

May you unravel the meaning of life and live it fully.  May all your desires be attainable.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Crisis of Faith

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Probably for the purpose of the future of Odin’s Eye I am going to cover three areas. Firstly, I want to cover my current state of belief in greater detail so I will have three posts one on each of the following: Deism, Humanism and Paganism.  Secondly, I want to offer my four objections to the God of the Bible in detail, so there will be  post on each of them. Thirdly, If I am reading my calendar correctly, this will take me into December as I will probably use Odin’s Eye as a sounding board around Halloween and when it falls on Thanksgiving to talk about those holidays and how I celebrate them now ending with Yule or Christmas.

Before I start all of that though, I want to talk about the nature of my Crisis of Faith and some of the foundational things that led to it. Before I begin going trough the four things I normally do in Odin’s Eye, I want to explain on an emotional level this crisis I had this past two years was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face.  I would rate only my father’s death and the period time around my near divorce as more emotionally trying.  That said this crisis lasted over two years.  It was not an instantaneous thing and it probably led to a very vulnerable emotional state over a long period of time.  Since I have owned up to the fact I just don’t believe in Christianity anymore, it has been very welcome relief from the emotional strain.

Faith

My crisis of faith starts with the simple fact that as far as faith goes I was told to have a thinking Christianity.  That is a reasonable faith all my life.  It is interesting that my Sunday School teacher seems to at the end of her life had a similar experience as myself, but it was she who also told me that God can handle your questions and will be able to answer them or he is not God.  I was taught early on to search the Scriptures.  It was in this search I simply found eventually after forty years, questions I still do not have answers for and probably never will.  The issue though with faith is that the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 suddenly became nonsense to me because at face reading it is nonsense. It’s simply nonsense to say that which we hope for is evidence.  Wishful thinking but not evidence.

Religion

It’s not that the religion known as Christianity hasn’t played a part as well in the crisis.  Throughout my ministry career of twenty years, I have watched people who claim Christianity, in the name of  their religion, do some pretty despicable things to each other. One of my personal objections to Christianity is the gospel doesn’t live up to the hype of personal transformation of those who claim to have been ‘saved’.  It was never the religion that appealed to me.  It was the theology.  In the end the rituals and doctrinal statements and the expectations of the religion left me empty and if anything drained me, so it offered no comfort or security to my faith.

Theology

It’s the theology really that certain questions (which I will go over in the coming weeks) that left me going – “What the hell?”  It actually started with the notion of ‘sin’ as a concept.  When I realized that there was nothing natural in the world that said certain things are inherently sinful, I began to sense a problem.  If some preacher in my childhood hadn’t come along and told me I was a sinner, I would have never had that notion in my head. Sin is simply not self-evident, nor has the God who exists (if one exists) ever come to me personally and told me I was a sinner. In a sense Christianity tells you that you have a disease (without first proving empirically that the disease exists) and then offers you a cure.  They cure a problem of their own creation.

With that understood I realized a few more things about the Bible and the god it presents. 1) The Bible has no empirical evidence that it is inspired.  It makes that claim but never proves it – you accept it on faith or you don’t. 2) The God of the Bible seems to not have a very good plan for solving the problem of sin for a supreme being.  Why doesn’t he just forgive the sin against him like he expects us to do with each other?  Nope, Instead he kills his own son!?!  3) The god of the Bible’s justice is a little suspect, especially when you consider Hell. I will go over these in the coming months so bear with me as I offer more explanations over time.

Spirituality

Through it all however, I have held on to some beliefs – Deism, Humanism and elements of what Christians would consider Pagan have survived.  I believe in Reason, Humanity and the Spiritual.  I meditate but for different reason.  Probably the weird thing still to me is I don’t pray.  To whom?  Prayer has always bothered me anyway because most of the time it is asking for things and when a prayer is ‘answered’ you never hear the end of it from those who prayed because they claim credit for the result even though they might have had very little to do with it.  I figure the supreme being of the universe either doesn’t give a fuck, gave us what we need in ourselves to handle the problem or doesn’t exist so we are on our own.  Pray is in some ways presumptuous that our problems and our value means something to the divine to the point they will act on our behalf.  If god truly is our friend its  pretty one side friendship because of the way we pray.

For me a lot of things are spiritual but how that matters is still something I exploring and learning about to see where I am and where I am going.  All of this has brought me back to a Seeker level and to be honest this spiritual wayfarer prefers to stay that way.  If the divine powers that might exist, choose to bless me or do something for me may it be because of my deeds as I walk. not because I begged them through prayer.

Basically what I am saying this involved belief in Christianity in relationship to reasonable assessment.  Nothing more and nothing less. If you think its more personal because of recent events in my life, you would be wrong.  Those have an effect on my spirituality because of the emotions involved.  But my Crisis of faith was intellectual and theological in particular.

What I want people to understand is that a crisis of faith is a serious matter.  It rips you up in ways only another person who has been through it can truly understand.  If you have never been through it, I am sorry you can’t relate but I can tell you don’t dismiss the emotions involved or the seriousness of them. It can cause deep depression that is no laughing matter.  It also shouldn’t be just dismissed for many other reasons.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

“Of Wolves and Ravens” – How This Works

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Tyr’s Day

In my introduction last week I probably rushed it a little in one factor of how this “Of Wolves and Ravens” actually works as far as a philosophy.  My main thing will be to take an issue (either political, economic, social or even personal) and working it through the philosophy summed up in the statement – “It’s OK to Feed the Wolves, but Listen to the Ravens First”.

My point is doing this is to basically create an exercise to engaging this new philosophy for myself.  Hopefully in working through this philosophy, I can provide some insight that you the reader might find beneficial as well.  Today I want to basically expand this philosophy a little with some examples so you the reader can understand what I am talking about in general.  Next week I will pick our first issue.  Each issue will be boiled down to the what we need and want but then engaging some reason and wisdom what is the best course of action.  I am going to use the general topic of Sex as an example.

Needs (Geri): When looking at the need side of things we have to ask ourselves what is needed here?  In the case of Sex, people as a race need to continue.  The real need of sex is procreation.  It might be argued that the entertainment value of sex is also a need but the issue of a need from a human point of view is about survival. Sex allows the human race to survive and go on.  Sex needs to take place for this to happen. If we look at organisms and their needs water, food and procreation top the list for all living things and for humans one of these is procreation and sex is what we do to make that happen. No one, but the most extreme view would argue that the wolf of need for procreation needs to be fed.

Wants (Freki): We humans though like sex and want it.  While some people want it for the procreative action as people do want to have children, the main thing about want and sex is that we enjoy the pleasure of it.  Sex in and of itself is not evil or bad, so us wanting it is not wanting something bad either.  The pleasure of sex is something good, we could conclude as it makes people feel better about life. It is OK to feed Freki when it comes to sex as it fills a desire and there is nothing inherently wrong with fulfilling a desire. It’s OK to feed the Wolves.  It’s OK to have sex because it is enjoyable and it leads to the continuation of the human race.

Reason (Huginn): The real problem though is we must first listen to the Ravens before we make that choice. The one thing we need to think about is what are the consequences of sexual activity?  Well this probably where I would note that ‘Sex’ as a topic might be a little broad but let’s continue.  Mostly the issue here is unwanted pregnancy but that goes back to wants and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).  The question of unwanted pregnancies is a large issue and involves other issues such as abortion, religion and economics but this can be curbed quite a bit in the modern world if people use effective birth control.  STDs are largely controlled by certain birth control methods but let’s be fair here – there is one benefit of sexual fidelity either abstinence or faithfulness to a single partner – the risk of STDs is near null.  Reason says that effective birth control coupled by basic fidelity and caution might kick the two major concerns about sex out of the picture. at least for the most part.

Wisdom (Muninn): On a wisdom side of things, we deal with relationships.  In western society it is a rare man or woman who doesn’t have a problem with jealousy.  Rape is also an issue here because the issue of mutual consent is a Wisdom issue. Sex is not something you take from others, nor can we avoid the fact that human nature causes both men and women to eventually look for an exclusive sexual relationship.  Not all cultures are this way, so each one would have to be considered but in our society if you go sleeping around the other person is probably going to get upset and a breakup is probably in your future.  Some people can be open about this in their relationships, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule.  There are a lot of issues I could continue to talk about here and I can definitely say that the subject of sex is too broad a topic to handle in one post, but I hope you get the idea.

Conclusion:

At this point I might wrap things up with a conclusion.  Mostly when it comes to the subject of sex, my advice would be to be safe, respectful and communicate so boundaries are understood. There is a lot more here but for example purposes, I hope it helps you understand what “Of Wolves and Ravens” is going to be about.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 142 – Wisdom, Word and Deed

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Indestructible

Disturbed has become a new band for me.  I like a lot of their songs and this one is a good one for warriors.

Poem:

“Scars”

My meditation turns to my scars.

I have many but only a few are visible to others.

Most I find are hidden, healed slashes on my soul

No less real, and no less perfect.

Reminders of foes fought, battles won and lost.

Reminders of the price of fidelity, and the pain of another’s treachery,

Reminders love gained at cost and also love lost.

Scars – my one proof that life has tried to destroy me, but I survived

My one proof that I am a warrior.

– The Rabyd Skald – Ed Raby, Sr.

Yeah, this poem is my latest. I think it needs no commentary as it will either resonate with you or it wont.

Meditation:

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Song Of Preparation: Trapt – Headstrong

Trapt put out this song a long time ago.   I like it in that it shows how a strong attitude can make you a fighter for what you believe in.

Text: Havamal 142

Then began I to thrive, and wisdom to get. I grew and well I was. Each word led me on to another word. Each deed to another deed.

Sermon:

When people ask me why one should have personal code, I tell them that no matter what your faith you need something that guides how you live.  When people ask me why I personally chose a warrior code as my personal code, I give them the old Japanese proverb – Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. For me the mindset of a warrior in this world simply carries more weight and is far more useful in all matters.

In Havamal 142 I think we see some of the mentality of the warrior.  It’s actually does not start with war or martial spirit but wisdom.  Knowing how to use what you know practically. The three-part progression of this passage:

  1. Gain wisdom
  2. Let wisdom change your words
  3. Let your words turn into deeds

Gaining wisdom is not easy, so the start of this train of thought does not start with a task that is simple.  Wisdom is often found in learning from experience and sometimes those experiences are painful.  Wisdom also can be costly to gain and may require us to sacrifice something.  The story of Odin giving up his eye to gain insight has particular moral application here.  Wisdom is found in our experiences, the experiences of others and simply at times learning and seeking it out.

Letting this wisdom change our words is particularly powerful.  My wife and I have been reading How Words can Change Your Brain and I have to say it shows one great truth that our self talk can change our attitude and it is important that the wisdom we learn should change what we say and how we say it.  This changes our thinking.

Our thinking eventually will go over to actions. It is not enough in my opinion to simply know the right thing to do and think on it.  You must act. This is the great dividing line between being a gardener in a war and a warrior in a garden.  Those who act on their wisdom and words become warriors.

Closing Song: Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

I remember when the movie Rocky came out and I heard this song for the first time.  I knew then even as a kid that it would become an anthem for fighters.  Still is.

Be Strong and Fight On!

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – Life after Christianity

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

 

Happy Thor’s Day

People ask me now what I do on Sundays.  Well I work when I am scheduled.  When I have the day off and it’s football season I watch pregame and whatever game I am watching.  I do homework or just relax. I find that I get more rest now than I ever did as a Pastor/Christian on the so-called day of rest.

There is of course a more serious thing to address here isn’t there?  What has happened to me now that my faith in Christianity is gone?  Well, I don’t go to church and I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about sin anymore.  I don’t obsess with other people’s behavior.  I pretty much actually follow the golden rule better than I ever have before.  I leave people alone and expect them to do the same for me.

The bigger question for many of Christianity would probably be – in rejecting Christianity, have you rejected Christ?  Well, that depends on whether you feel Jesus of Nazareth was just a historical figure or the Messiah.  I am not sure and it’s because of the accounts of his life.  I don’t reject Jesus as a historical figure or even as a revolutionary figure.  I just think like Paul Bunyan and John Henry, some people have added some tall tales to his life.  My point is that all the gospels are written by sympathetic believers and it is a reasonable criticism that they might have embellished the stories to prove what they wanted to prove, including the story of the resurrection.

Truth is, I like Jesus; I like his style.  I know it may surprise people but I still read the Bible but not with the same eyes I used to read it with.  I just think it contains truth with a small ‘t’ but I don’t think all of it is Truth with a capital T. Yes, I know someone once remarked that Jesus either is a liar, a lunatic or Lord.  The problem I have with that observation is that Jesus might not be seen as a liar or lunatic if the disciples hadn’t probably added a bunch of stuff to make him seem so.

Faith:

So what do I believe?  I believe in some form of higher power. Whether that is a god, gods and goddesses or the Force I couldn’t tell.  I don’t know enough to say and probably never will.  Like I said before I think it is unreasonably to say on the one hand there is no God and on the other hand it’s also equally unreasonable to think you know for sure what the divine is and how he, she or they work.  I just don’t buy either extreme based on a reasonable look at what humanity knows. I am learning it is far more relaxing to be comfortable with this ignorance. There is little I can do to change it, so I might as well live life as fully as I can.

Now, the one thing I will tell you is that if you are a Christian, I am not saying you are stupid or going to decry you for having faith in it.  I mean I had that faith myself for decades and I consider myself a reasonable human being.  Faith has that effect and so I get the struggle because I have struggled with it too.  I am not going to decry you for it or even make fun of you.  I get it.  For me walking away was years of agonizing frustration of wrestling with something. I simply could not have faith in something that to me didn’t make sense anymore.

Religion:

As a former and now retired pastor, I can say I miss some elements of religion but not many. I miss the fellowship of being with people.  I like gospel music for the vocal harmony of it.  I was never a fan of the pageantry and the rituals.  I did like putting together service that I hoped would inspire people.  I did enjoy preaching. The Pagan Pulpit every week will do the same for me, so I guess I am still good with it.

Putting aside the religion and the nonsense, I actually have been able to focus not so much on ‘avoiding sin’ and living with less sin; but rather, I have been able to focus on what I want to build in my life.  While I can agree with some that religion has done some great things, I also can see that it can also be used to justify some of the most evil acts in history.  It has also allowed those who believe a particular religion to look down their noses and think they are superior to others who are not of their faith.  Worse yet is trying to order society so that others are forced to follow their religion’s ethics even though they might disagree.

Theology:

If there is a god, gods or whatever, I think the theology of special revelation is the last place we want to look to discover what that divine power(s) is like.  Mostly this is because any revelation of the divine, if it actually happened, has to pass through the filter of human beings.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are good as a race.  People tend to look at humanity as evil but the vast majority of humans are just trying to make a life for themselves. I think if a person goes bad, it’s just that – they went bad.  They didn’t start that way.

No, it is not our lack of goodness that make special revelation problematic, it’s the fact we are prone to mistakes and such revelation has to be preserved over the centuries and like a game of telephone, the story gets edited and changed over time until the story we have is no longer what actually happened.  Too much humanity gets to play with special revelation and through ignorance, good intentions and yes the occasional person who uses religion to control, changes are made and the original revelation is lost.  Assuming, it wasn’t completely made up in the first place.

Spirituality:

Yes, I do meditate.  But meditation is not exclusively Christian nor is it exclusively religious or a matter of faith. I am not looking for any personal special revelation when I do it and a lot of other people don’t do it for that reason either.  Meditation is simply the act of clearing the mind and calming the emotions. It allows you to think much clearer and so it is what I do a lot to calm myself down and think.

What I don’t do is pray anymore.  I mean looking at it you see so many people using prayer to ask for stuff. They ask for wealth, fame and love for themselves.  It is very rare for people who pray to be truly selfless in their prayers.  If I ever do pray again, it will be like Esmeralda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I remain the happy outcast,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Pagan Pulpit – Havamal 68 – Living Life

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Welcome to the Pagan Pulpit.

Announcements:

We don’t pray here – we figure God, the gods and goddesses, or whatever powers that be either know already, don’t give a fuck, or are busy with more important matters than our petty stuff. We also kind of assume that they expect us to do stuff that we can do for ourselves, that we will do them ourselves and not be lazy. We also believe in being good friends, so we don’t presume on our friendship with the powers that be by asking them all the time for stuff while giving them nothing in return.

We also don’t take an offering here.  We figure the powers that be probably don’t need it.  Let’s be honest, offerings are not giving to the divine powers, their giving to an organization to support it.  Just being honest. God, the gods or whatever never see a dime, farthing or peso of that money, it all goes to the church, mosque or shrine.

Opening Song: Disturbed – Down with the Sickness

Just a reminder that to be part of sick society is to become sick.  You won’t find fulfillment for yourself by doing so.  Better to die free on your feet than be a living slave on your knees.

Poem:

See the source image

Not mine but a good one.  I like this poem because there is a lot of passion in it, particularly persuasion.  It also is well written.

Meditation:

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Song of Preparation: Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear the Reaper.

Nothing like a classic to remind you that living life in fear is not the way to go, even living in fear of death is a bad deal.  Live life and don’t fear The Reaper.

Text: Havamal 68

A warm fire
should be appreciated,
and the sight of the sun.
Enjoy your good health
(if you can keep it)
and embrace a life
without shame.

Sermon:

So we turn this week to the Havamal stanza 68.  When we boil it all down it is about living life and living it fully. Learning to appreciate life when it is good.  The good things in life however are not what people always think.  It is more often in the simple things that you find the greatest joy in living.

The Havamal points out three for consideration. 1) A warm fire, 2) The sight of the sun and 3) Good Health (adding the line if you can keep it)

  1. A Warm Fire –   have stood around many a warm fire.  I have one goal when i do finally get my own place and that is to have a legitimate fire pit.  Whether one is alone or together with friends a warm fire simply calms the soul and allows one to relax.  A good thing when living life.
  2. The Sight of the Sun – Nothing like a morning sunrise or sun set or just feeling the rays of the son in the middle of the day.  I actually appreciate the sun’s warmth in the middle of winter the most.  Reminds me that not everything in the world is dark and dreary.
  3. Good Health – If you an keep it good health allows you to enjoy life better than anything else. Once sickness and disease enters the struggle is more to stay alive than enjoy life.  I encourage everyone to do what they need to do to stay healthy. It will help you enjoy life that much more.

Embracing life without shame.  That’s the goal here.

Closing Song: Eric Idle – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (From Monty Python’s Life of Brian) 

True art and humor.  Gods, I miss Monty Python.  A little smile to send you on your way.  Until next week.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – My Faith as It Stands Today

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Odins Eye 001

This will normally appear on Thursday; that is Thor’s Day but this opening week of The Grey Wayfarer it will be Friday; that is Freya’s Day. Odin’s Eye, as a post, is about faith, religion, theology and spirituality. Mostly is all of those things as they stand in my life and how I relate to these things. My struggles with religion and faith are pretty much a constant. For most of my life I have struggled with them. My faith as a Christian literally has teetered on the brink several times in my life and only recently have I decided to be truly honest about it and walk away from the religion known as Christianity. For the last few months I have been what I truly am, which is a Deist, a Humanist and a Pagan. More on all three of these as Odin’s Eye continues in the weeks ahead, but for now know that I am no longer a Christian and it has very little to do with recent events.

My Walking Away From Christianity

I want to change people’s perception here about what happened about my faith, because I have been accused of walking away from Christianity because of what Christians have done toward me recently and my observations of Christians. Well, I would be the first to say that has something to do with it, but it was not where the struggle began and one should not look at the followers of a religion to assess whether or not a religion is true. The truth of a religion should be tested in its claims and whether or not such claims can be rationally verified. Experience is no good here because I can tell you every religion has people experience something that ‘verifies’ the religion to the one who had the experience. History is no test either. History will show you that religions all make historical claims but are they verified by outside sources and multiple witnesses? Also, just because something is historical, does not mean that it automatically reveals who God, the gods or the divine reality truly is. Nope we are left with one tool to assess truth and that is reason. There are few things that sets humanity above the rest of the animal kingdom and one of those is the use of reason to assess truth.

I have spent a long time as a Christian trying to mesh its claims with rational investigation and I now can say that some of the claims of Christianity have no rational proof for their claims of truth. Because of this, you take a lot in Christianity hoping it is true, but not really knowing if it is true. Over time through various studies I developed four major objections to the theology of Christianity, for which I could not rationally come to good conclusions. It was these that caused me to walk away from faith, nothing more and nothing less.

Now recent events where Christians have acted toward me in very non-Christian manners may have caused me to walk away faster, but in truth I was already showing my backside to the Christian faith long before then. Not trying to be insulting there, just facing facts. My leaving the faith is my own decision and I am blaming no one for it. There really isn’t ‘blame’ here; just a decision to be honest where I stood. I don’t perceive of my walking away from Christianity as a tragedy from my point of view, although I am sure many Christians would see it as such. To me, I simply became more honest and truly myself. I stopped hiding my failures behind notions of sinfulness and started facing them honestly as a man should face them in this world. I didn’t change, so much as I found my true self. I am a rational human being and there are four things that I cannot reconcile with being rational human being and being a Christian.

My Four Theological Objections:

  1. The Bible cannot be rationally verified to be God inspired. The Bible makes a claim to be inspired but it never proves it and there is no empirical proof that the Bible is any different from any other book in the world. If you believe the Bible is divinely inspired, you have no evidence for it, you just believe it to be true.
  2. Sin is a completely man-made made up concept. There is nothing in the world that tells you are a sinner. Some preacher came along and told you that you were a sinner and then offered you a cure. But let’s be honest there is no person alive who hasn’t done something they regret or was ‘bad’, so any snake oil salesman can play into that and say you are a sinner and then sell you the cure. They really don’t prove sin as a concept really exists or that it is the problem you actually have. They just reinforce your assumptions. They don’t prove those assumptions are true, they just play on them.
  3. God’s answer to sin is to torture his only son and kill him, this is an answer that doesn’t make a bit of rational sense as God could easily just forgive us without all this. Either the God of the Bible is a sadistic fuck or not too smart if this is the best he could come up with to solve the ‘sin problem’. There is the additional problem of how much of a sacrifice and torture is it, if you know with certainty that you are going to be healed from all injuries and rise from the dead in the end?
  4. The Bible presents God’s justice as a little suspect, especially when you consider the doctrine of Hell. I mean you get all eternity roasting in a fire because you did a few bad things. I mean we might understand with people like Stalin and Hitler, but grandma who never hurt a fly but never accepted the gospel of Christ because she didn’t buy it, gets the same punishment as them? Even the Bible’s own standard of justice makes this suspect – ‘eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ I mean making God mad is such a high crime that I must spend eternity in hell for it? How is that the punishment fitting the crime? Yeah, I could go all day. If you don’t consider this a problem, you never have really considered the doctrine of Hell or it’s implications for those you love that have not accepted the gospel.

I spent many years trying to reconcile these things and couldn’t. Now either this speaks to my lack of ability to do so, or they are just not reconcilable because the whole thing is made up by humans for whatever reasons. I am not saying I am infallible but I have asked my questions of some of the smartest people in Christianity I know and you know what their answer is? The same as I can get from any preacher – ‘you just have to take some things on faith.’ Yeah, so you’re saying faith is a cop-out to any question too hard for you to answer? Sorry, that is no longer acceptable to me. If Christianity is genuine and true, it should be able to answer my questions. That is something I have maintained since I was twelve.

Personal Stuff

Yeah, there is personal stuff too. But that isn’t my main reasons – they are listed above. So where I stand each week will be reflected on in Odin’s Eye. It was not however all the personal stuff that cause this ‘crisis’ of faith. Rather the personal stuff was probably caused by my struggles in finding and accepting the truth about myself and where I really was because of these four things. Uncertainty breeds uncertainty and in that uncertainty shit happens.

Faith:

I believe in something out there. I am a deist, not an atheist. I think atheism and deism actually can get along because we’re both saying ‘ we can’t really know’. The difference is, I think it’s just as bold a claim to say ‘there is no God’ as there is to say ‘there is one and we have him (or her) all figured out and here is our religion for you’. Sorry mankind is a little too ignorant to make such universal claims either way.

Religion:

Yeah, it’s all man’s attempt to understand God. But like all things man does, it is prone to mistakes and error. Can you find truth in religion? Yep, but I don’t think any of them are The Truth or give us THE Truth. For that we need to turn to reason as our way of finding the truth.

Theology:

If we are going to understand God, I think revealed religion is more of a problem than a cure. We have to conclude that if we are going to understand the Creator, we are going to have to look at his creation including mankind to figure him out. Not the specifics of what certain men have written that says He, She or They are a certain way. The Creator gave us reason, not religion. Perhaps we should use it.

Spirituality:

I still meditate on these things and think about them. I just haven’t made a lot of ‘progress’ by not writing about them. Time to change that by doing so each week in Odin’s Eye.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Rabyd Skald – Introducing ‘The Grey Wayfarer’

/ Ed Raby Sr / 2 Comments

Odin 004

A little history first about me and blogging. 

I have been blogging for long time.  I started my first blog when my kids were little and I was in my first church as a senior pastor.  Basically at the time, it was me trying to put my theological studies degree to good use as most people in the church can’t think at that kind of deep level when it comes to God. So, I started being the Rabyd Theologian which endured its 2.0 and 3.0 versions.  I found I liked to write fiction as well, particularly fantasy, urban fantasy and science fiction. So, I began to add that into the mix and I have had several blogs along that line.  I have written blogs on weightlifting, hiking and other subjects.  Very few survive to this day.  My goal with every blog is for it to be my last one because it lasts and that is true of The Grey Wayfarer as well.

My two most recent blogs I had to delete because they represented a time in my life of forbidden love, lust, anger and pure rage. They were blogs where the Wolves definitely were more in charge than the Ravens.  This comes from an expression I use that has become part of my personal canon: “It’s OK to feed the Wolves, but listen to the Ravens first.” I will be going into this expression more as time goes by on this blog. “Of Wolves and Ravens” is actually the title of my Tuesday posts which will be centered on this new philosophy and applying it to life.

Other people were also misinterpreting my writing and twisting my posts to mean things they did not. One of the most amusing was taking some of my fictional works as factual which they were not. They may have represented heart-felt fantasy but they certainly weren’t real or based on real life events.  I also commented on my personal life a lot which caused some people to be agitated because they disagreed with my observations. This all culminated in one commentator blasting me in a comment – it was bombastic with a lot of name calling. I also realize both blogs represented a chapter in my life I would wish to just close and move on to better ones. The situation was not constructive to positive change for me, so I talked with my wife and I deleted both blogs. We dealt with the person involved as a couple and so far things seem to be stable since.

The problem has been for me that without blogging my life seems very much adrift. I am struggling with school and even though my marriage seems better, I seem to be losing track of what I ultimately want for me and my marriage as well as other things. My struggles with faith have come to a standstill and several emotional issues are just not being resolved.   I am not writing about these things and so I am not making progress. Blogging has been my personal therapy for a long time and without it I am not sure what I am doing with my life. #True Story

Some have argued a private journal might be good substitute, but I have tried that before so many times and I get about a day or two into it and hate it.  I give up pretty quick and then I am stuck.  There is something about posting things on a blog and making them public that drives me to hit my deadlines and do what I need to do.  Maybe it’s ego or some desire for recognition or perhaps a kind of accountability.  Whatever it is though, it keeps me making progress, so it can’t be all bad.  The one thing I do know now after doing this for a while is that I know what kind of blog I need and one that I will stick with and keep writing posts for every day.  So without further ado – The Grey Wayfarer

The Grey Wayfarer

I have been doing this for a few blogs now where a title for a type of post becomes the title for the new blog. Or a concept from one blog inspires the next. My theology blogs became a theology tavern of sorts in All Things Rabyd.  The theology tavern concept became Raby’s Tavern (deleted).  That blog had a kind of post called The Rabyd Microphone which became a blog by the same name (also deleted).  One of the fictional series I was doing on the Rabyd Microphone was The Grey Wayfarer.  It was steeped in Norse Mythology and was an allegory of what I was going through each week.  I enjoyed writing it and to be honest the title sticks with where I think I will be the rest of my life.  I like it, so it has now become the title of this blog.

“The Grey” part has meant a lot of things over the years but in this blog its my reflection on the depression I suffer from time to time which I call ‘The Grey’.  More recently it reflects my desire to be neutral and open to all ideas and opinions.  To evaluate not as a good person or bad person but just as a human being.  Someone walking The Grey of life, so to speak.

“Wayfarer” is something I consider myself these days from a spiritual point of view, although I would love to do more real life walking and hiking as well. But mostly. I just consider myself a pilgrim and a seeker on a spiritual journey these days.  To be honest, I don’t know if I want to stop being a pilgrim or seeker. I think the moment you think you have arrived and discovered THE TRUTH is when you are blind, lost and not moving in life.  I simply wish to be the ever wandering pilgrim, ever searching for truth, knowledge and wisdom in the world.

‘The Grey Wayfarer” also reflects some of my favorite characters of fiction and mythology. Gandalf the Grey being known as the ‘The Grey Pilgrim’ for starters.  Odin from the Norse myths though is my particular inspiration as a grey pilgrim wandering the realms in search of knowledge, accompanied only by his wolves and ravens. Yes, that is the image that is the inspiration for this blog and for my life these days. Being mindful of the expression – “Not all who wander are lost”.  That includes me because more than the blog title, I consider myself ‘The Grey Wayfarer’.  I am not lost, but I do wander.

Probably the best way to get across what you will be seeing here on this blog is to give you the rundown on the schedule for the week.

Sunday – The Pagan Pulpit. I kind of miss putting together a religious service and now that I am no longer a pastor or even a Christian, I don’t get the chance.  For those of you familiar with The Rabyd Microphone before it was deleted, this will combine some elements of the original Pagan Pulpit, the Rabyd Poet and The Rabyd Record.  So it will have songs, a poem (maybe written by me), a meditation, a quote from an ancient text and a sermon with three points. Kind of just an inspiration to start your week, if you’re a deistic humanist pagan like me.

Monday – A Skald’s Life – Foundational Virtues. – A discussion on the Virtues of Honor, Courage and Truth.  Much like the journal posts of the past although I have dropped the idea of roles and now will be focused on virtues setting my goals instead.  I consider these three of the Nine Noble Virtues to be foundational and merit that kind of discussion.

Tuesday – “Of Wolves and Ravens” –  Basically taking an issue and examining from the standpoint of the Wolves (Need and Want) and the Ravens (Thought and Memory).  A philosophical post basically looking at issues and hopefully generating more light than heat.

Wednesday – A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues. – Much like Foundational Virtues but a discussion on the virtues of Self-Reliance, Industriousness, and Hospitality.

Thursday – “Odin’s Eye” –  I am a trained and educated Biblical Scholar and Theologian.  A retired pastor with 20 years experience.  What to do with that now that I am not a Christian or a pastor?  I am going to write on four subjects each week with this post – faith, religion, theology and spirituality.  Part of this will be me working though my personal struggles with religion and faith.  The rest we will see each week what happens.

Friday – A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues. – Like Foundational Virtues and Business Virtues but dealing with the virtues of Discipline, Perseverance and Fidelity.

Saturday – The Grey Wayfarer – My one fictional element of this blog because I need to write fiction. This is an allegorical fantasy serial story of a man from the modern world who finds himself in most extraordinary circumstances.  The idea will be to reflect on the Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) in a different way as well as get my creative juice flowing.  It will be steeped in Norse mythology, so that should be fun as well.

The Rabyd Skald – This is a post much like The Microphone was on The Rabyd Microphone – it can drop at any time and can be on anything.  It’s basically a catch-all if something doesn’t fit into the weekly routine. Most posts will drop at 10 AM.  This one could be anytime.

This weekly routine will start on October 7th.  Before that I will be doing all three A Skald’s Life posts to set my goals from October 2nd through 4th.  On October 5th, I will do the first installment of Odin’s Eye to kind of set off where my struggle with faith and religion currently is at; as well as recap briefly how I got to this point. On October 6th, I will introduce The Grey Wayfarer fiction serial.  After that the normal schedule will commence.

Now, one final word on the nature of these posts and the blog as a whole.  This is new blog, and while it has at its roots the substance of the old blogs and its trunk is hopefully all the aspects of what makes good writing, it is its own tree, so to speak. Where its main branches, tributaries and twigs end up is anyone’s best guess. I have come to the belief that the best blogs are a good blend of organization (pruning) and organic growth (freedom). You never know down which branch the best flowers and fruits will be discovered.  A balance of reasonable inquiry and creative discovery is what I am going for here.

A word on feedback – I welcome it as long as its constructive.  I welcome comments, likes and even criticism.  Name calling; however, is never accepted.  I have in the past, once I cleared a particular commentator, let people comment away; because I trusted they had a basic understanding of manners and respect of others’ opinion including mine.  Recent events have caused me to institute a complete approval of every comment instead now.  Sorry for the inconvenience this may cause, but you can also follow my page on Facebook and comment there.  I might edit any comment too, so be advised.  This is my blog and I will protect and honor those who respect that fact.  Otherwise, be prepared to be silenced, censored or even blocked.  I welcome opinions, not being an asshole.  You can cuss and swear ( I certainly will do so from time to time including the f-bomb) just don’t make it personal.  This is an adult blog as far as content and expectations of how people will comment on it.

Oh, one last thing (really this time).  New signature:

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!