Needs

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – Realigning Hospitality

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day

Journal Entry:

With this A Skald’s Life post and the one of Freya’s Day, the realignment process will be mostly complete.  I have one more post I want to do on Saturn’s Day which will be reworking all three of my Routines to reflect the changes in my goals and bucket list.  The idea being that each goal or bucket list item will have something on one of the routines which takes steps to reach them.  There is a purpose to each Routine where I can see it moving me closer to all of my goals.

Hospitality has always been a little bit of a bugaboo for me.  I am an introvert and recluse by nature. That said, I have no problem holding a conversation with the right people or social situations that are more controlled.  I actually have benefited from such things when there is a purpose to them.

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

I have no problem with the Virtue as written.  Being willing to share is not a problem until you realize the scope of what can be shared. Literally everything can be shared under this idea of ‘share what one has’. It is very broad when you think about it.

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

I had to put a Grey Wayfarer element into this somehow. The ‘life’s journey’ thing is something I can say reflects that.  I miss helping people but at the same time know it can drain you beyond what you are capable of doing so ”out of my abundance’ is my check and balance phrase.  Sharing is of course  very road term and so it allows this to be applied to a lot of different things involving helping others.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

I had one goal left that business oriented about budgeting.  Well, that really is something that fits Self-Reliance and Industriousness as part of achieving those goals. It is also something I have to do as a team with my wife. It also didn’t fit at all with Hospitality.

I freely confess I miss two things about ministry.  Helping people through their life problems as a life coach of sorts and the small support group I created.  I want both of those back and I don’t need to be religious to do so.  This is going to require some digging and research.  I may even have to create something from nothing. but I think it is something I can gravitate to as a former minister.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

Home ownership is something that has never been a real possibility in my life except once early on in my ministry and we did own a home for a couple of years which we lost because of a job situation in the ministry.  Since then no dice, just not enough money. I hoping that will change with a new career and we really need the baseline of financial security of owning a place to live.

In regards to hospitality and other virtues, my home would have to be able to be bipolar.  On the one hand it needs to be a fortress of solitude where I can go to recharge.  On the other if the small group thing becomes a reality, it needs to be a host site.  It also can’t be more house than a couple can handle and I don’t want a huge yard.  All my virtues would have to be somehow reflected. This is also a decision to be made with my wife but I definitively value privacy and minimalism plus being a good place to have a small gathering.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: To achieve and maintain personal independence and advocate for independence in my family, state and nation.

Goal:  Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.

Bucket List: To own and run my own successful business or company.

I really like this alignment as it flows one to another. The only issue now is I am approaching the end of March and still no better job.  I am thinking I will have to extend it again and that is a little frustrating. I do however see a three-month plan here where I finish my internship, find a job and move on. It would accomplish a lot of things in my life in a sort time and set me on the path for others.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

Goal: Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship by May 2019

Bucket List: Write A Novel and Get it Published.

Things to enjoy working on here.  I like it and when I get to realigning my routines I see the novel thing being a part of the weekly routine. My internship is actually going on right now I just have to finish the work and get to May 2019.  Once done my degree is supposed to be in the mail by the end of June.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: To share out of my abundance to help people where I can with their life’s journey.

Goal: By March 31st of 2020, to be the leader of a support group of some kind.

Bucket List: To own a home by March 2024.

I like the realignment as it is about expression of prosperity into helping others. Something that gives my business virtues overall purpose.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

I look at the three virtues above and my definition of justice is all there. Doing the right thing but being self-reliant.  Working hard both from myself and my wife.  Plus showing mercy to those who might need a hand along the way.  Seems very solid now. Justice after all is about how I deal with people.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – currently two.

I see some changes here.  Consolidation, plus additions and subtractions.

Looking above you can start to see the pattern for the journal entries is going to be more uniform and consistent.  Journal, Three Virtues, Higher Virtues, Routine.  Only Freya’s Day has an addition with a record of Goals and Bucket List Items achieved. I am glad I did this realignment and it really is starting to streamline and simplify things.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Eastern Philosophy – The Code of Bushido

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Eastern Philosophy is a large subject.  It stretches over several different cultures.  Middle Eastern, Islamic, Chinese, Japanese, etc. all have their philosophical schools and viewpoints.  If there is a commonality to Eastern Philosophy it is focus more on community and oneness with the universe.  In western philosophy people overcome surroundings.  In eastern philosophy, one becomes one’s surroundings if that makes any sense.

I am not going not dive into the metaphysical sea that is eastern philosophy. Today I just want to do a comparison between the Nine Noble Virtues of Ásatrú (NNV) which I follow, and the Code of Bushido (COB).  The Japanese Warrior Code is something I admire, so the purpose of this comparison is not to note superiority of one over the other.  I have a feeling if a samurai and a viking warrior sat down and had a discussion about these things they would walk away from each other with a profound amount of respect. Rather, my main purpose is to learn and grow.  To perhaps see other facets of the jewel known as the NNV by comparing it to another jewel – The COB.

There are similarities – Both have honor.  The difference is that the NNV tries to encompass in honor the idea of respect, where the COB makes that a separate virtue.  Both have Fidelity, but the COB adds the idea of Duty as part of that, although I would say it is part of Fidelity as well.   Honesty lines up very much with Truth. Compassion lines up very well with Hospitality.  Both have Courage. There is a lot of overlap as you can see.  The learning is in the differences.

The COB has Respect as separate from Honor and the Virtue of Integrity. In the case pf respect, looking at this reminds me as a follower of the NNV that Respect is a part of honor.  To me self-worth and respect are two sides of the same coin of honor.  The COB reminds me that I need to remember it is two-sided. Integrity is sticking with one’s decisions and being commuted to them.  I would say in Fidelity we see that but not so much our decisions as being committed to our relationships and making decisions based on those commitment that are loyal and true.  I can change my decisions if a different path suggests I would demonstrate more loyalty to that person or group than my current path.

The NNV has the following virtues that are more emphasized than the COB: Self-Reliance, Industriousness, Discipline and Perseverance.  It is not that the COB doesn’t talk about these things, it is just two some might be seen as expressions of the other virtues.  Discipline as part of Compassion.  To be disciplined one must then display perseverance.  However, I think the concept of ‘face’ kicks in here and failure is far less of an option in the COB as it is in the NNV.  The Viking Warrior after failing, gets up and tries again.  The Samurai might instead to stave of losing face commit ritual suicide.  The thing being that in Eastern philosophy community is far more important that the individual.

This is probably best seen in Self-Reliance and Industriousness. It is not that the COB does not emphasize them, it is just they are always seen as a part of a greater whole.  The problem with this in Viking culture is you can find yourself alone trying to survive and live.  The climate and nature of the Scandinavian world meant you are going to have to face things at times without the community. So you better figure out how to do things yourself and you better work hard or you might die or suffer for relying too much on others or not working hard enough.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

Comparison in philosophical systems is needed to strengthen our own.  It avoids the cranial rectal inversion that some philosophers develop that I am trying to avoid.  Having one’s head up one’s own ass philosophically.  Easter philosophy with its different focus points tends to be quite revealing when you put it side by side western.

Wants (Freki):

I personally want to see aspects of the Code of Bushido expressed in my following of the Nine Noble Virtues. There is a need to remember respect as part of honor for me. To remember community is important when it comes to hospitality and fidelity.  That Integrity is a part of Truth for me. Learning how to fuller understand and express the NNV by looking at how others see the same virtue is something I definitely want.

Reason (Huginn):

I would say reason tells us that codes and virtues might be the same but which ones are going to be more emphasized are going to depend a lot of culture and society.  The Code of Bushido fits its Eastern philosophical world. The NNV virtues make more sense for me because I live in a culture that is more self-reliant and individualistic.  However if I had or do business in Japan, it might do me well, from a rational point of view, to switch while I am there.

Wisdom (Muninn):

Learning to find wisdom where you find it is key.  Wisdom knows no culture or society. It sometimes expresses itself differently depending on society but the concepts of wisdom tend to be the same.

Conclusion:

I have enjoyed this look at the Code of Bushido.  It has made my meditation on the NNV a little more fuller as I consider aspects of the NNV in its light. It has allowed me to see more of my own path and code.  I imagine I will return to it again.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

 

The Rabyd Skald – The Grey and the Wayfarer – Part 7 – Writing and Walking Through It

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Saturn’s Day

I know people are probably expecting a Crossing Bifrost post today but I have a couple pressing matters that I need to attend to and I am currently reading some books on Norse mythology that I want to get a little further in before I write my next post on it.

I also have been fighting The Grey pretty much all week. Part of the reason I am throwing myself into realigning my virtues with my goals and principles is that it really helps with this. I feel there is a key or keys in this process to dealing with The Grey; to a point where I can not only function with it, but actually feel some things without shutting down.

I have been asking a lot of motivation questions because what The Grey threatens and destroys the most often is my motivation.  The odd thing is that my motivation to write is the one that is often the least affected. The trigger this week is the time of year and it will be so until probably the end of summer.  Last year at this time, my ministry as a pastor and my marriage were both unraveling and there are a lot of painful memories associated with that right now.  I can confidently assert that the old notion of time healing all wounds is bullshit.  It can scar them over, but they still remain under the surface.

Writing has always helped with these times in that it gets me through them.  It is often the process of taking the next step in writing the blog article or project that is me taking the next step.  I write for me and I write to overcome my depression.

If a friend were to ask me what issues rise to the top, i would first say that it is not easy to talk about but then I would offer the following four things.

  1. I still deal with my change of faith. Or rather the discarding of Christianity and ministry for good. It is more than just a career change, it is a lifestyle and life course change, and it has been quite challenging emotionally and mentally.
  2. I deal with betrayal and loss.  Both of specific friendships and of the fact there is a group of people I lead as a shepherd for almost ten years than I still don’t feel comfortable in dealing with. Based on the letter I was sent, I feel judged and discarded still.
  3. I deal with memories of loving someone who I don’t know if they loved me at all in return.  It’s debatable if they were as they said “Just acting’, or if that statement was made to make the breakup easier for me and them.  Epic fail on the last one, it hurt like nothing I have felt in a long time.  I have a poem I am working on about this I think I NEED to write; but it is painful to write, so I don’t want to write it at the same time. I mean they seem to have moved on like nothing happened.  The memories for me are making that quite difficult, despite my best efforts to not think about all this by contrast.
  4. Then of course this whole thing brings up emotions regarding my treatment of my wife during this time which I now feel very guilty and ashamed about.

It’s why back in August of last year I wrote something that basically said I wished someone would rip my heart out and kill it.  These feelings are intense and difficult and I wish they would go away.  It makes my depression kick in as a defense mechanism so I don’t feel things. Feeling nothing being more preferred than these emotional memories.

I also deal with the fact that on March 18th I will be 50 years old. Half a century and I am fairly certain its these birthdays with zeros in the second digit that seem to challenge me the most. Another decade down, how many do I have left?  Where am I going now? What am I going to do? Who am I? How do I get where I want to be? When are these memories going to fade to the point where I don’t have to deal with them as much?

I wish I had more answers, but writing seems to help me keep going.  I write for me and I write to overcome.

Walking the Grey,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Virtue: Moving Higher

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

Having finished the Nine Noble Virtues it is time to flip the subjects for Of Wolves and Ravens to the flip side.  So for the next nine weeks the subjects will be more Side B

  1. Eastern Philosophy
  2. Western Philosophy
  3. Love
  4. Minimalism
  5. Economics
  6. Justice
  7. Political Science
  8. Libertarianism
  9. Wisdom

These are either the Higher Virtues or other philosophical elements that guide my thinking. Subjects where my philosophy is more real and concretely applied to the real world of my life.

Today, however, we return to the general subject of virtue. Mostly the rationale behind pursuing virtue as opposed to Religion as a way of moving higher.  I suppose it comes back to the Marcus Aurelius quote I keep using.

See the source image

My main issue these days is to live a good life and so following good virtues is the path to that.  The Nine Noble Virtues (NNV) of Asatru are good ones to follow and no matter what your religion or faith, I don’t think you could fault them.  Virtue is a Human trait and if anything is responsible for the good in the world it is when people take their human capacity and guide it by good virtues.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

At this point things will get a little more personal.  After departing from my Christian faith, I knew I would need something to guide my life philosophy. I think that is one of the problems of struggling with faith.  You hold your principles from that faith, but the basis for doing so is missing. I needed to figure out what that basis was and how I could hold a system of philosophy to guide myself and my character without having faith in a religion.  Virtue is an old discussion in philosophy and one that has always had a lot of merit to me. So I found that the need for a system of virtue was very much justified.

Wants (Freki):

I also wanted virtue.  One of the things that you get accused of when you leave the faith is somehow you are now lesser of a person.  It is never said but it is there.  Your ‘lost’, ‘going to follow your sinful nature now’, you are not as ‘good’ in the eyes of the people of the faith you left. Part of my embracing virtue is I want to show how bankrupt a notion it is to believe you need to follow a certain religion or faith to be a good person.  That you can be a better person morally without faith or religion is a hard concept for people to accept for some reason.  I want to prove that it can be done.

Reason (Huginn):

The rational reason for following virtue for me is that it upholds my thoughts that a person can actually use religion for evil while calling themselves good.  After all they are just following their authority of their holy book or holy man.  Even if that action causes harm to others, in religion it is still justified because you were doing what your authority told you.

I can’t do that following my philosophy of virtue.  Virtue demands that an action must also cause no harm to others whenever possible.  It recognizes that appeal to authority is not a rational act but a logical fallacy.  Therefore to just follow authority blindly is not virtuous, rather quite the opposite.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I feel that no matter what the twists and turns of my life are now, that the NNV allows me to navigate each fork and crossroad with wisdom.  I am not letting some blind guide pull me along.  Rather my eyes are open and I makes sure each life decision is guided by principle and virtue.  I do take into account what is best for me, but I also no longer think that shows a lack of wisdom but rather it demonstrates wisdom.

Conclusion:

On May 28th, 2018 I was no longer a pastor or a Christian officially. I even have a letter from my former church that fired me retroactively to May 27th to prove it. I keep that letter because there is a line in it that motivates me. From time to time I pull it out and read it:

“This decision was based on the fact that you no longer have the character, ability or right to be the shepherd of any flock”

Well, I plan on making them eat those judgmental and arrogant words and I plan on doing it by living a better life than I ever had as a Christian.  I plan on doing that by following virtue.  By so doing, I will move higher than I ever have before. I don’t see my leaving the flawed hypocritical virtues of Christianity to follow the NNV as a step downward, but rather a step upward. Time the pierce the sky and live a good life.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

The Book of Rabyd 1:5 – ‘Everyone Has the Right to Property’

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Sun’s Day

Text:

“Everyone Has the Right to Property” – The Book of Rabyd 1:5

Thoughts and Exposition:

This is a new verse for the Book of Rabyd.  Most people don’t realize that the original Declaration of Independence had originally ‘life. liberty and property’.  Later editing changed it to the pursuit of happiness.  But the idea of the inherent right to property to anyone who owns it is something that has not always been recognized in history.  That changed with the Founding fathers as the notion of people having a right to translate their right to pursue their happiness.  As Ayn Rand wisely pointed out this means the right to property.

I would argue that this right is what defends the others as well.  Your Life. liberty and Pursuit of Happiness are yours and now one should be allowed to take them away from you.  This means you also have the right to defend what is yours.  But ownership of property being a right extends to all things that are yours.  The most important of which is ownership of self.  Self-ownership means to take responsibility for yourself and your own destiny instead of leaving in the hands of others.  You need to exercise your right to own private property to do this.

I often wonder if those who try to attack this right realize that what they are doing allows people to basically take away all the others. If my life is not mine, if my liberty is only granted and can be taken away, if my pursuit of happiness requires that someone else give it to me, then they are not rights but privileges.  The right to property is what brings in this concept of ownership of not only my stuff but my rights.

To think otherwise is to have the mentality of the thief and the societal leach. I make no apologies for saying this.  I people have the notion that other people don’t have a right to property, then they are perfectly OK with the notion that such property can be taken away. They also have no problem when people have their property taken from hem through taxation so they can be supported.  In short they envision people can think and work but the results in part belong to them even though they have done nothing to earn them. This justifies their stealing it or letting others do it for them.

See the source image

So we turn again to abortion.  The seeming conflict is that the woman has her right to liberty and pursuit what will make her happy.  The notion being that the fetus is her body and she owns it so she can dispose of it as she sees fit. The opposite side of the coin is that the child has he right to live and pursuit its happiness by living. The real issue is it possible for one person to really own another and I would say that there is some inherent ownership of ones’ self in such a right to property.

For me the question of abortion has long been a sticky one.  As a Christian I had pretty clear guidelines, but it was still troubling at times.  Mostly because reality is that natural abortion happens all the time and with far more frequency than people think.  Most are never known to even exist.

Post-Christian, the issues now falls to whether the fetus is a person.  If not, the nit has no right to ownership of self and all the other rights that go with that.  If yes, then he/she does and they have those rights. I am not sure I can answer the question definitively at this point but I still maintain that liberty and life are important in equal measure.  I hope the choice is life, because I consider abortion a waste of human potential, if nothing else.

The real question for me is should the state be allowed to interfere?  Once again we are still left to determining when a person becomes a person and the answer seems clear. Given all our rights and the notion of self-ownership, if the fetus can be proven to be a person then the answer is yes, but if not we still find ourselves in a controversy.  It seems with all the advances in science, we should be able to determine this. Then the right to property with its concept of self-ownership kicks in.  This still doesn’t give us a clear answer but we have two more principles left so we shall see.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens – Fidelity – Noble Vulnerability

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I always approach the subject of fidelity with a little trepidation. One the one hand, I have not been the most loyal of husbands in the very recent past.  Having an affair kind of undercuts your credibility when it comes to lecturing anyone on the subject of fidelity.  On the flip side, while I don’t recommend doing it this way, the lessons about fidelity I have learned from others and myself during that time were quite profound. So no lecture from me.  I don’t have the moral authority here to tell you how to be loyal and show fidelity, but I do have a testimony here of some of the things I observed and learned that might help someone.  That is if you are willing to listen before the shit hits the fan for you.

Before I begin though I want to share something my wife sent me on Sunday.  When I saw this I told her thank you and that I loved her.  What she couldn’t see, because it was sent via Messenger was the tears rolling down my face. I have no idea how she loves me so much.  I just do not get it.  She is the best example of fidelity I know.

I suppose that is the first observation I can make.  That just because you are in the midst of being disloyal to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will automatically switch to being disloyal to you.  That is the high road if you ask me.  It is a rare person who can maintain fidelity to you while you are walking away from them.  When you discover this, it can be a soul wrenching moment. I don’t recommend testing people’s loyalty to you this way, but it is very revealing who really loves you and continues to love you even when you are not being the most loyal person yourself.

I also can share the tale of two friends.  I had two friends I would have considered very close at the time. Now, I want people to understand that as disloyal as I was to my wife at the time, I had this thing about loyalty to my friends and family that was still very strong. It was my marriage that was a problem to me at the time as well as my faith, but I would have marched through hell for my friends and family.

Not all the other relationships were problematic to me. I was actually depending on them to kind of get me through the crisis I was having at the time.  One friend proved that his lifelong fidelity was true. He stuck by me, confronted me and loved me no matter what.  He even kept a few secrets, although I knew he wanted to say something.  I will give the man this, loyalty, that is fidelity runs through his veins like blood.  He still remains my truest friend and for that I will be forever grateful.

The other who was a friend for almost a decade. He, on the other hand, deliberately set me up to look like I was trying to hide the affair to my congregation, and then came out and told the story himself to pass himself off as the ‘noble hero’.  You find out who your real friends are in crisis moments and I never saw that one coming.  I trusted him and that ended that day. I discovered very quickly that this person’s definition of friendship includes in his loyalty clause – “only if you agree with me and are useful to me.”  He threw our relationship away as easily as tossing a piece of paper into the trash.

This was because I had become a liability to him and I was no longer useful to him. He not only abandoned me, but he had to kick me when I was down in his self-righteous sanctimonious arrogance.  I will never trust him again.  Even my wife, who had the greatest reason to do so, didn’t try to destroy me when I was walking away and hurting.  This man did. He has nothing but my contempt now and anyone who trusts his friendship or loyalty is a fool.

My tale of two friends demonstrates fidelity in one and its lack in the other. In the end the first friend helped me see the light and the other just has contributed to my darkness.  When you see a friend struggling, even with their own loyalty to someone, you don’t demonstrate fidelity and help them by being a disloyal prick yourself.

I suppose I have to say one other thing.  Fidelity isn’t as black and white as people like to make it out to be.  Sometimes you don’t know who to be loyal to at all.  Sometimes you have to be loyal to a couple of people who are having problems with each other.  There is a world of mines in this minefield you have to tiptoe around. Relationships can be toxic or one-sided. That is because I have also learned that fidelity is the strongest thing in the world when it is right.  It is also the most fragile and explosive thing when it goes wrong.  Handle with care.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

I have come to understand how much I need loyalty in my life. Not just people to be loyal to me but how being loyal makes me a better person.  Oddly enough, I have been loyal to some of the people, even the above unfaithful friend, since all this happened. There is a professionalism to the ministry I maintain out of loyalty and respect for helping others and for people’s privacy.  So I have a lot of confidences that were entrusted to me, that I still keep.  I know a lot of things that could be damaging to others, but I keep them to myself out of fidelity.  I refuse to be the same person my other friend was, that just because these relationships may have philosophical differences with me, or no longer have any use, I will not be a disloyal prick and reveal those secrets to damage people.

Wants (Freki):

If I want anything right now, it is to strengthen my own loyalty to those who have proven loyal to me. I don’t know any other way to demonstrate my appreciation and respect for these people than to do this.  I want a small group of friends that fidelity is strong both ways.  I think I have a few. But I need a few more.  I also want to get over the fear of making new friends, as new relationships cause me a little of the ‘who can a trust’ syndrome based on past experience. I want to get over that while remembering not everyone who says they are your friend is one, they only prove that with actions not words.

Reason (Huginn):

When I think about this rationally, Loyalty is difficult to intellectualize.  It is much more something soul felt than rationalized. At the same time, I can see rationally that without it I won’t go forward.  I just wont.

Wisdom (Muninn):

If experience teaches wisdom, then this last year is has a taught me the wisdom of fidelity. I can’t even put to words all the things I have learned.  I guess I can say this mostly though.  If you’re having a problem in your relationship with your significant other, the place you need to talk about it is with the other person. I also understand there are problems of pain and depression that keep you from doing this at times, so you have my empathy if you can’t.  I get it.  But if you can find a way, do it.  It is far better to mend the fence than have to build a new one. Fidelity demands that.

Conclusion:

I know I have little in the way of strength here at times.  I am gaining new understandings of this virtue known as fidelity all the time.  I really don’t see it as my weakest area and even last year going though my marriage issues, I still maintained fidelity with friends, family and others despite the fact it was strained in a couple of areas. One of those areas was my marriage and it is very much on the mend.  The other was my faith and like my friend who betrayed me, I think I will say that this separation in relationship will be permanent. The real struggle now is to keep searching and walking to find the truth when it comes to faith and spirituality.  But that is what this while blog is about.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Odin’s Eye – The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side – Adaptation and Balance

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Thor’s Day

Discussion:

The Wayfarer’s Spiritual Side.  This post and those titled like it to follow in the future are largely just me looking through the Eye, so to speak at my own spirituality. To gaze into my own spiritual journey and come up with some observations I hope will be helpful to me as I continue to walk my life.

I would say that the two great struggles I have had since leaving my religion and my ministry have firstly been to adapt to the change and secondly try to find some way to achieve balance spiritually speaking.

I suppose part of the problem is defining my spirituality:

  1. I want my spirituality to be my own journey of discovery. That is why religion and I have a problem.  That is, I see all of them as being someone else’s journey of discovery that other people follow.
  2. I want my spirituality to embrace all that I am in balance.  Reason, Emotion, Relationships, Health (Both mental and physical) and that aspect we call Spirit must all be involved equally. Most of my spirituality is about achieving balance between all these things.

Back to the two struggles, adaptation is a struggle because I am very conscious of the fact that I was engaged in a lot of spiritual activities as a Christian that I would consider irrational now.

  1. I went to church, but I now understand what that was.  It was the reinforcement of belief by repetition, not necessarily by coming to understanding the truth, but group think and emotional experience are powerful ways to teach you how to deny what is true.
  2. I prayed, but I have realized that I was probably talking to myself most of the time.  Even if there is a god, the way I was conceiving him as I prayed him took on the aspects of my earthly father.  it was my concept of god I was praying to, not necessarily the divine power that actually exists.
  3. I worshiped, but that conception of god was my own creation, so I was worshiping my own ability to conceive god. I don’t do a lot of this anymore.  I honestly can’t say I miss it much.
  4. I studied the Bible.  But this was about repeating something over and over again and when you do that you are just training your mind to think a certain way. Doesn’t mean that way is true or right.

In my adaptation, I don’t want spiritual practices that don’t also leave me open to see possibilities I may not have considered or get me to be dogmatically telling others what “The Truth” is at the expense of their own freedom to figure it out themselves.  it leaves very little other than practicing meditation on the virtues I want evident in my life and living life with a spiritual eye.

The other struggle is balance. Keeping one thing from dominating so much that the others are neglected.

Time to Look Through the Eye:

Faith:

I have faith in myself. Like it or not it is all I really have. People say that might be a poor thing to have faith in and they may be right.  However, my self is all I really know I must have faith in, because it is the best thing I have to place my faith in that I know is real. Other things I will list that I have faith in I know based on my experience and reason that this is so, but I still must say I have a little less faith in these things than myself for obvious reasons. My wife, my small circle of friends, humanity all are worthy of various measures of my faith because they are real and proven through their actions.  That said at the end of the day the only one who can keep my spiritual life in balance is me.  The only one I can ultimately trust is me.

Religion:

I really try to avoid being religious, the problem is religion is very prevalent in spirituality, and eliminating it can be quite a challenge. The issue religion brings to the table is how much of other people’s spiritual experiences can be used to help my own and which ones are just controlling or fear mongering.  I find that if a spiritual notion leads me to being afraid or is trying to ‘force’ me to certain activities then it is a religious element to be rejected.  I just have time for notions that basically without proof try to tell me what ‘the truth’ is.  I think there may be many truths, but one single monolithic truth?  No.  I don’t think the universe is that small. If there is any force that can take me off my notion of balance it is religion.

Theology:

The most elementary shift in my thinking theologically speaking it is realizing that sin is a made up concept.  The writers of the Bible or any other holy book that talk about sin, just straight up called what behaviors they didn’t like ‘sin’.  Therefore, they took it upon themselves to speak for the divine as to what offends the divine. They offer no direct proof for this.  They claim it, but never prove it

Theologically speaking then, is humanity then inherently evil because they have picked up a sinful nature then?  No.  I have not proof one way or the other about that either. It is just asserted.  So when it comes to my spirituality it is not so much avoiding or overcoming sin anymore. My spirituality has shifted more to the notion of making myself better by strengthening what is positive or turning something negative into a positive. I don’t believe that part of my humanity needs to be destroyed or redeemed anymore.  I just think all elements of my humanity (needs, wants, reasoning, wisdom, etc.) need to be focused and work together to help me grow with balance.

Spirituality:

All of life then becomes just as much spiritual as it is anything else.  From taking a shower, to going to work, to making love to even me sitting right now and writing on this blog. All of it has the potential to strengthen me spiritually.  I simply have to find the element of each activity that helps me become a better person.  What is it that leads to long life, prosperity and balance.

Conclusion:

The issue I find is still the issue of balance and adapting to being an X=Christian.  Sometimes I find myself thinking about an issue and asking “Is that the former Christian talking or is it the real me?” It is the current state of my Spirituality as I walk the path of life. It is a question that comes up often.

Continuing to Walk the Path,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

Of Wolves and Ravens: Perseverance – Stubborn Purpose

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Tyr’s Day

Discussion:

I think when it comes to Perseverance, my strength with it is that it comes very naturally.  On the other side of it; because it does come naturally to me, it is hard to write about it and explain it. The things that come most naturally to a person are so deep-seated at times that they do the almost without thought.  So when someone asks you how you do it; it’s not that you don’t know, it is that you find it hard to explain something that is probably best described as deeply spiritual.

So when I keep getting up from defeat or failure, I guess the best thing to say about it is that I don’t like the feeling of being down on the ground, so I stand back up a quickly as possible.  It is just habit.  I suppose that is the goal of following every virtue, that the actions they lead you to do be come automatic habit. In this case, I think I am there already in that respect.  Mostly my growth here is trying to figure out how Perseverance applies to more and more things and the way it applies and to what extent.  How much of this stubbornness with a purpose is needed to get through life successfully.

To the Wolves and Ravens:

Needs (Geri):

To me the need for perseverance connects with the simple basic need to survive.  But more than that, I don’t think any successful person; at any level, has ever gotten there without Perseverance.  You will never be successful at anything unless you keep training, practicing, follow discipline and do it over and over again until you are successful. If you don’t get how much this is necessary, than that is probably the reason you are not successful.

Wants (Freki):

Wanting Perseverance seems secondary when you consider how much it is needed. You want it because you want that feeling of being on top of the mountain, of looking at what you have built and having that feeling of being satisfied, etc.  You don’t get to those moments without Perseverance.

Reason (Huginn):

Survival and Success are two rational goals in life. “Live long and prosper.” Like it or not there are other forces in this world that will challenge that and you need some force to counter them.  Perseverance is that force.

The part I am discovering now is how perseverance connects with purpose.  How it gives you purpose.  It gives you reason to keep going.  How it gives you clearer vision of what you want to be and how you are going to get there. It makes such vision practical and very real.

Wisdom (Muninn):

I think I have learned the most life lessons after standing back up again. I have gained the most wisdom just standing back up. You, the gentle reader, read a lot of things here on The Grey Wayfarer that are simply a product of me standing up again.

Conclusion:

“Coyotes Never Quit.” It statement that was made to me by my football coach back in 9th grade during the heat of two a day practices.  It is something, that has stuck with me.  Back then it meant in four years, no matter how I felt. I never missed a practice and I never used an excuse not to get back on my feet. I never got too much opportunity to play on the field, but for life later, it has been the secret to my survival and successes.  It has given my life Stubborn Purpose.  Otherwise known as Perseverance.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Self Virtues – The Path to Self-Fulfillment

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Frigg and Freya’s Day

Journal Entry:

I find walking to be fulfilling.  In that regard, I think the path I choose in life should also be fulfilling.  I never want to be in the position I was before asking: “What do I get out of this?”, and not have a positive answer.  I don’t believe this is selfish, so much as it is self-preservation.  Perseverance requires something within to stand back up and keep going.  Something has to feed that.  We do things that either feed that or drain it. When we are drained, we can do some very dumb things to find peace and happiness.  I speak from experience.

Putting it together then as I stand at a crossroads o fork in road as life’s wayfarer, I guide my decisions based on these there criteria. Does this path lead to Virtue, does this path lead to Success and does this path lead to Self-fulfillment.  If the path has a yes to all three of those, it is likely one I should take, More often than that I find that either 1) Many paths meet this three-fold requirement and then other factors come in or 2) none of them meet all three, so I pick the one that has the most, and then hope for a choice down the road that is better.

At the end of the day, I simply want to look back at my choices as say they followed virtue, lead to success and were fulfilling personally.

Discipline:

“Discipline is the willingness to be hard on oneself first and then if needed help with the development with others, so that greater purposes may be achieved.”

Principle: Apply discipline to every aspect of life that it can be applied.

I still keep looking to make discipline more and more of my life. Getting past the times of The Grey is simply easier when I do things automatically.  I am however making a major change in that I am working on the idea that all my steps and routines must be done as much as possible before I can take a break or do something I enjoy.  The greatest challenge I face is to take a break from things, and then not have the discipline to return.

Perseverance:

“Perseverance is the ability to stand up and return from defeat and failure”

Principle: Keep getting up after every defeat or failure.

I guess the feeling I have here is like a hiker who has hiked through as storm and now looks back from the hill and sees that storm behind him.  It doesn’t mean that there are not more storms ahead, but there is some satisfaction in looking at what I survived. Then you look forward in new strength and keep going forward.

Fidelity: 

“Fidelity is the will to be loyal to one’s Gods and Goddesses, to one’s Folk, to one’s self, and loyalty to one’s friends was as valued as highly as loyalty to one’s family.”

Principle: Be loyal to those who have been loyal to me.

It is times of the Storm that challenge you in regards to fidelity.  There is tension between loyalty to ones self, and loyalty to those who have been loyal to you.  Some how you have to be loyal to yourself and do what you need to do for you, but at the same time not forget those who have been loyal to you.

Higher Virtue – Wisdom: 

Virtue, Success, and Self-fulfillment.  Sounds like the path of wisdom to me.

Weekly Routine: 

  1. Weightlifting – 4 days per week.
  2. Cleaning – 3 days a week.
  3. Walking – 4 days a week
  4. Writing – 4 times a week
  5. Cheat Meal Count – Currently 0

#1 and #3 are still on hold until the weather improves and I get a better job that can allow me to afford the gym again.   I have an idea for writing that will probably start me down that path more consistently.

Evening Routine:

  1. Take supplements and medications.
  2. Brush and Floss Teeth
  3. Out the Door Preparation
  4. Reading – 15 min.
  5. Go to Bed

The evening routine is the most challenging of all of them. This is because I have to wait to the end of the day for it to happen and by that time The Grey might basically be motivating me to just go to bed.

Nutrition:

I am definitively have troubles with the zeros.  I don’t think this is a level I will stay at.  The one that worked and was most comfortable and successful was two cheat meals a week and two carb sources a day.  After my birthday, it is where I will probably camp for a while. The one thing I can say is the diet has kept my weight and fitness level stable despite no walking or the gym.

Weekly Recap:

Foundational –  I feel better here.  I don’t like thinking about the past because it is a bummer.  It is sometimes unavoidable.  That said, thinking about a more positive future for myself and my wife has been a good way to move on. Virtue has been the key there.

Business – Success and defining it have been very helpful this week.

Self –  Need to remember me.  Self loyalty is a must.

I remain,

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!

A Skald’s Life – Business Virtues – The Path to Success

/ Ed Raby Sr / Leave a comment

Happy Wooden’s (Odin’s) Day. 

Journal Entry:

So if there is a compass direction; as far as career direction at this point, it is business with writing on the side. I may still in older age settle down to teaching in a college or university setting; passing on what I know to future generations, but I need to build a new career first. Business suits me because I have long-held the Sam Walton notion that business is about people and ideas (mostly vision), not necessarily money,  My twenty years in the ministry definitely gives me the people skills and my education definitely puts me in the position of ideas.

Writing?  Well I am writer.  A blogging fantasy writer that has yet to get anything published except a single letter in a magazine a long time ago.  Made fifty bucks.  I get writing could be classified as a hobby with me, but It could be a good side career or main career if things really started to get going.  It is never too late with writing as Mary Jackson observed:

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I start with the path of virtue which will hopefully lead to the path of success.  I think a business career; with writing as something I work at because I love it already, is a good option for me.

Self-Reliance:

“Self Reliance is the spirit of independence, which is achieved not only for the individual, but also for the family, clan, tribe and nation.”

Principle: Work to be self-reliant in all things.

I just want to wake up in the morning knowing my basic needs will be met and I am at least slowly but surely heading down the path to getting some of the things I want. I don’t want to worry about survival at all. I just want to be in a state of mind that can plan how to build things.

Industriousness:

“Industriousness is the willingness to work hard, always striving for efficiency, as a joyous activity in itself”

Principle: Work with enjoyment of work itself.

The means of course is work and what helps is when you enjoy work itself. Where you can learn new ways of being more efficient is also enjoyable. I think the only thing here I am really missing is a job I actually want to do.

Hospitality:

“Hospitality is the willingness to share what one has with one’s fellows, especially when they are far from home.”

Principle: Be ready to be hospitable to those who truly need it.

I find that a broad definition of hospitality allows me to have a great deal of compassion for people in need still.  The great difference is that I either know I can help or not.  I don’t try this – I will pray for you or think of you – route.  If I can help, I try to find a way to do it.  If I can’t, I don’t.  The issue I think is more prosperity, so I can help more and more often.

Higher Virtue – Justice:

Last weeks storm of emotion involved a lot of anger.  This is never productive but I find myself shifting from anger to developing a sense of justice. I may not ever get justice for what happened to me, but I can look at others and what they do and if I can do something about it, I should act.  If there is still a heart of compassion in my life held over from years of ministry; I still bat for the underdog.

 Daily Routine:

  1. Communication / Cuddle Time
  2. Blogging
  3. Reading / Study – Half-hour per day minimum or until all necessary work is completed.
  4. Clear In Box/ To Do List
  5. Financial Transaction Input
  6. Carb Count – zero.

Oddly enough the Financial transaction thing piles up on the side of my desk.  I don’t get it, as it is one of the easiest things on this routine list.  The zero carb count is almost impossible at home eating dinner with the wife usually kills it.  The main thing in this is more of a seeing how little carbs I can eat in a day.

Goals: 

  1. Be transparent with my wife to improve communication
  2. Finalize last requirements for my degree – Internship.
  3. Find a new, better paying job by the end of March 2019 or before.
  4. In 2019 have  a clear budget and financial plan working by the end of the year.
  5. Maintain a daily blog streak of one post per day for an entire year (365 days).
  6. Keep gym membership going somewhere and lift weights minimum of four times per week and walk minimum four times per week through end of 2019
  7. Follow Paleo Diet completely and use intermittent fasting until the end of 2019
  8. Cross one thing off bucket list every six months (Deadlines July 1st, and December 31st of 2019)
  9. Be in the best shape I can be by March 18th, 2019 (50th birthday), take pictures.

There are a couple of goals here for march that speak volumes about what I would like to see at the end a=of about six weeks here.  #9 will be finished on my birthday and I will be working on #3.  Going into my 51st year of life, a new job and feeling as healthy as possible would be a great start and two goals crossed off the list.

Goals achieved since Summer 2018: 1

Budgeting: 

  1. Basic Emergency Fund – $1000
  2. Debt Snowball
  3. Fully funded Emergency fund
  4. Invest 15% of income into retirement
  5. Pay off Home Early
  6. Build Wealth and Give

We meet with the tax preparer on Monday and I am hoping for a good result.  I also am job searching, so I hope that bears some fruit as well.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard and Philosopher. The Grey Wayfarer.

Skaal!!!