Wayfarer’s Journal Post – June 26, 2025

Happy Saturn’s Day!

I have gone around and around about how to handle these journal posts. I don’t want to just drop them every other day like last time, as it was a constant justification to just change my plans every time I did a journal post. At the same time, they were a constant reminder of the plan I had and what I needed to do with my life, and they motivated me to do some things even if I never got to all of them. They are both a blessing and a curse.

I have also changed a lot as far as my objectives for my life. I want to be successful in the things that I now want to do, but those things have changed. Some at least. I suppose I should lay down what my goals are at present and then see what habits I need to start based on them. Fully aware that my strength lies in making plans, not necessarily executing them.

The initial problem for me is: what to work on? As an autistic and ambitious person, I tend to make a list of too many things to do. I overdo it and have to dial it back. It has been an interesting to simply ask the question: Is this doable? It changes a lot of how I approach my routines that I need to function and get things done.

Back to the question of the journal posts, I think once a week on a Saturn’s Day is probably best. It caps each week and allows for reflection, but doesn’t allow alteration at the drop of a hat.

But what am I trying to be? I was recently reminded of a simple way of setting a life goal that was presented to me by a YouTuber https://www.youtube.com/@ArminNavabi. Simply put, what is your life purpose, and then create things to that actually help reach that life goal.

What then is my life goal? When I am lying on my deathbed, what did I accomplish? How am I remembered? Hmm, perhaps this is the next question for the next journal post. So until next Saturn’s Day.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Self-Discipline and Details

Happy Freya’s Day!

This last month has been one of reflection on what my future holds and no matter what type of beliefs you have about the future, it falls to the person to either just let things roll or develop the habits and discipline to get where you want to go.

I have had numerous false starts in life. Ministry and Teaching in the Public Schools among them. Now I am looking at things as a realistic 54-year-old man and asking myself what to do now.

  1. I don’t think any type of professional career is available to me anymore. I apply to a lot of jobs and I get no responses. I now very much think that ageism is very real and it is unfortunately one of the few allowed prejudices. I am not going to give up trying to find a good opportunity closer to home, but I am being realistic about it.
  2. My regular job has some opportunities for advancement, but you have to be patient. Growth will come there but it will take some time.
  3. My YouTube Channel is very close to full monetization. This will hopefully be a side hustle, for now, that will give some added income.
  4. That leaves writing. Something I have a hit-and-miss relationship with but have always dreamed of being a published author. I just need to get passed the writing on emotions thing. Being a disciplined writer by the end of 2024 is a real goal for me.

It’s a real do-or-die moment for me. I am very likely autistic and hypertensive so self-discipline is key when I am not feeling it. The best time to develop things like this is when I am feeling well and not overwhelmed, which is now.

The main thing is to have the main routine in place once Spring comes. To that end, it is time now to begin practicing and getting things in place. But details are needed. I am now going to be on third shift so my day starts at 4pm when I get up.

Main Routine: (with details)

  1. Get up, Make my bed, clean the apartment
  2. Full body Stretch (Shower on days off)
  3. Email Check / Personal Business
  4. Youtube Video – 1 a day. (Watch Premiere)
  5. Read 1 chapter of a book
  6. Write 1000 words in my rotation. (Blog Article/Deconversion Story/Novel)
  7. Days Off: Repeat 5 and 6
  8. Prepare for work the next day or if not working relax.

Before Work: – Workout/Shower

Discipline: Diet – Carnivore Heavy.

One thing I think that has helped here is realizing autistic people tend to overreach and then get frustrated so learning to keep it smaller and focused has taken a lot of thought. Hopefully, I can build off this routine but in a way that I can actually accomplish.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Pause, Reset, Re-Align, Restore

Happy Freya’s Day!

My struggles have always been easier when I have routine and discipline. The problem is that my hypersensitivity can rob me of that when my nervous system gets overloaded and then depression and anxiety can set in.

For the last month, I have realized that the best time for me to establish routine and discipline is fall through spring. Summer is my challenge with all the sensory input. It really makes me turn into a vampire of sorts that avoids the light and heat whenever I can. Cold is actually very comforting to me in moderation. Too cold? Well, I am approaching 55 years of age so my joins feel that. I wish it could be Fall all the time.

So, time to pause things and hit the reset button. Tome to establish routines, so when summer returns, things move to an automatic level and don’t stress my nervous system out as much. So let’s take a basic look:

Main Routine:

  1. Get up and Make my bed.
  2. Full body Stretch (Shower on days off)
  3. Email Check / Personal Business
  4. Read 1 chapter of a book
  5. Write: 1000 words in my rotation.
  6. Youtube Video – 1 a day.
  7. Prepare for work the next day or if not working relax.

Before Work: – Workout/Shower

Discipline: Diet – Carnivore or Paleo – haven’t decided.

Time to reset this all and re-align it so that it makes me more productive. Time to restore a little bit more of myself.

My Goals are not a long list anymore:

  1. Become a successful Youtuber
  2. Become a published author
  3. Be as fit and healthy as I can be.
  4. Fall in Love again.
  5. Peace of Mind.
  6. Retire to a cabin in the woods as a Philosopher.

I crave a simple and Stoic life these days, full of love and peace.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Focusing My Writing

Happy Freya’s Day!

So what is going well?

  1. I am getting up and getting to the gym before work every day and haven’t missed a workout since I made this change.
  2. My YouTube Channel recently got monetized at least with memberships, superchat. 1000 subscribers and I am making regular content. Enough watch hours in the near future and I could have ad revenue as well. Nice side hustle in the making.

Everything else is either questionable or non-existent: Summer equals hypersensitivity run amok and hypersensitivity run amok equals depression. So how do I fix it? By adding only a few things and sticking with them through Fall, Winter, and Spring; so when Summer comes habits will be in stone so they are automatic.

I am seriously considering going back to the third shift. There is a promotion opportunity for one, but even if I don’t get it I could use the shift differential. It’s the wake-up routine, end-of-day routine, and writing focus that needs work.

The blog is largely about my writing for therapeutic reasons so I want to look at that. This includes reading, writing regularly on this blog, my novel, and my deconversion story (autobiography – memoirs), I am now asking if this is too much. I don’t think so I just think trying to fire this up in May/June was a bad idea. I need to do a wake-up routine that if I am third shift would include writing/reading and the same with the day’s end routine. Focusing right now is the key while my mood is good. I guess I am learning to use my manic phases to help with the depressed ones.

I have a new serial in the works based on something I posted early this year. Hopefully it will come out soon.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Getting Back to Writing with a Better Plan

Happy Freya’s Day!

I want to, first of all, thank everyone for being patient and for your understanding as I struggle with my new understanding of myself. The old GI Joe cartoon used to say: “Knowing is half the battle”. The high probability that I have autism has been a major revelation of knowledge. How affects me is in some ways obvious and in others not so much. The real question is “Now that you know, what now?”

If knowing is half the battle, what is the other half? The other half, in my mind, is coming up with a plan that can be executed and be effective because you know. So today I am going to hit the planning part. Or rather, I am revealing my plan for dealing with this issue in relation to my writing. That is the plan I think will lead to effective action.

Effective action means I make progress on my writing goals, but it has been a while since I have stated my goals and I have a harder time sticking with them. The plan has to have a routine or system to it and I have to spend the time getting the discipline to do it.

First things first, I have redefined my goals for writing and related tasks:

  1. Reading for a half hour every day.
  2. Regular writing on this blog – This will include both creative posts and stuff about my journey through The Grey.
  3. Regular Writing on my novel for publication
  4. Regular writing on my non-fiction book, also with designs on publication.
  5. Daily Journaling at the end of the day.

The first task to make this work was getting these things into my daily routines. I have to have routines for things to work well for me. The daily reading of a book and journaling are everyday activities. The other three would best fit in a daily activity of writing where I rotate them at certain points. This system will be me doing the following rotation with whatever writing time is slotted.

Writing Rotation:

  1. One blog post – written, edited, and posted
  2. 1000 words on my novel.
  3. 1000 words on my non-fiction book.

The important thing to remember is I have time limits where I can write. For most work days I can do the reading and the writing until I leave for work. On days off I can go longer until I hit my walking time. Extra time, if I am in the mood, is always going to be a go as well.

The real problem is actually controlling my downtime. I need it to recharge my nervous system. However, sometimes those activities steal more time than they need. I need to change that and probably take drastic action to do so.

But this is the plan, so for you the gentle reader, it means more regular posts hopefully. It also will be leading me to a more regular fulfillment of a long-term goal for myself – being a published author.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

This Week’s Foci – Writing and Health

Happy Mani’s Day!

So I need to embrace my six foci over a three-week span, which I think is best. I don’t want to overload my routine with everything because that is a good way to not do it. For sake of repetition, my six foci are Writing, Media, Health, Lifestyle (formerly Money), Love, and Family. I chose writing and health for starters because I am already doing part of them already and it will be a lot simpler adjustment also if there are two things that help my overall feeling of well-being, they are writing (Mental Health) and Health (Physical Health.)

In looking at it a couple days ago, I realized that this combo would be the best way to start the first routine and last routine as well. In a sense, Writing is a natural First Routine thing and Health fits best with the Last Routine. So both these routines will have something in them right away. There is some Lifestyle stuff in all of this because it needs to be the glue that holds the Writing and Health stuff together. Lifestyle proper I will deal with Last as kind of a mortar to the brick of the whole system.

First Routine:

  1. Wake Up and Make the Bed
  2. Meditation – 3 minutes
  3. Blogging – 1 hour. One article a day plus work on fiction for the blog. This is my journal and daily artistic expression.
  4. Meal Time
  5. Personal Hygiene:
  6. Get Ready for Work
  7. Reading/Study Time – 30 minutes
  8. Novel Writing – Half Hour or 500 words – whichever comes last.

Last Routine:

  1. Get Out of Work
  2. Gym Time
  3. Walking – 30 minutes when weather permits.
  4. Bed Time

I am picturing the First Routine will be much more involved than the Last. Mostly because of my energy level but also because I do the best work right after I wake up. In Health I need two systems which are my workout log which is paper and my nutrition plan. I need to use soem time to lock these down this week.

Goals – a note would be that goals fall outside the routines so they involve time outside the routines as well. Because a third shifters day is not in one day, I am simply going to call these ‘today’s goals” and then give a report the next day on how I did. As a reminder, I only do 2-3 goals a day.

Today’s Goals:

  1. Fill out forms for the therapist
  2. Email the landlord about trash pickup

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

Routines and Systems – Planning: First and Last Routines

Happy Sif’s Day!

Yesterday I determined my various foci for my life and this week is going to be all about figuring out which routines are needed and what systems need to be put in place. The real challenge is as a third shifter morning and evening are very relative for me. So the real issue is more of ‘what is the best time or most productive time for this. Coming up with names to describe it is a little more difficult. It’s not a morning /evening situation. It’s not a wake-up/go-to-sleep situation Eventually I went First and Last.

The First Routine is done right after I get up. So the focus is the best part of my day being used for things that are probably creative in nature I can see my writing/reading and YouTube Stuff falling in this slot. This also would involve anything that is about the philosophical application to life. It is also about Love, Family, and Lifestyle. So it involves relationships and cleaning for the most part. This is where I reset my apartment from a cleaning point of view and then get ready for work on a workday or move into the last routine if it is a day off. This is the big routine but once I get it going it will be pretty much automatic once I get out of bed.

The Last Routine is more about health and perhaps a few other things. But mostly health and doing it for the most part right after work or when off that day right after the First. I get off work and go to the gym, and talk a walk if the weather permits. Get something to eat and head to bed.

I change the focus name of Money to Lifestyle because then it is a little broader. That’s applying philosophy to various aspects of life, not just money although money is included.

I am going to try my best to put everything I can into these two routines. But what doe not fit usually becomes a system and systems are used for the routines. The issue is if I can get it into a routine I am more likely to do it and have it become a habit. Stacking habits together is important for this process.

What remains is that for the next six days, I will be taking the six areas of focus and figuring out what goes in each routine and where. I need to get this as close to right as possible but I know adjustments need to be made and I am starting this with a lot of knowledge of the past.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

A Few Small Setbacks

Happy Freya’s Day!

I was planning on moving into my apartment this weekend but the landlord is out of town. This only affects the start of things like my new YouTube Channel and a few other things like my routines. So a lot of things are in a holding pattern. Inhale, Exhale. Just a little longer.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The Morning Routine: My Opening for Each New Day

Happy Mani’s Day!

A couple days ago I wrote about what I resolved to do this year and now I am starting to work on the nuts and bolts of things. January’s focus will be to get the morning routine down. I want to lay out the ten things in the morning routine and list some of the details and motivations for it. This is mostly for my benefit to give myself clarity of thought. But it doesn’t hurt to share what you are doing with others in order to give inspiration or even open yourself up to suggestions.

1 – Get Up Early and make the Bed: Sounds simple right but there is a significance to it. If all else fails that day: I got up early, on time, and made my bed. There is nothing better than climbing into a made bed at the end of a long day as well. My wakeup and bedtime become the bookends of the day and I want it to be good at both ends.

2. Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues: I actually put in my contacts before this but it is necessary because the NNV re on a poster on my wall. In five minutes I can read through them about three times and sometimes I pause to think about something. The point here is to remind myself what values I hold, and what my real motivations are.

3. Full Body Stretch: I need to get some flexibility and strength back in my joints but also this tends to be a very meditative time for me as well. I suppose I should mention that all of this is done naked at this point. I go to bed naked and I fail to see the point in getting dressed until after I shower. For stretching, being nude is actually very liberating as it gives very good freedom of movement.

4. Weightlifting: I have gone to more of a routine that is only two sets with 15-25 reps from now until the end of summer. The goal is fat burning and to lean out as much as possible. I have a dumbbell set at home so I don’t even need to go to the gym for now.

5. Good Breakfast; My diet is shifting to low carb and low salt. This is for the above-mentioned fat burning but also my blood pressure was high at my last visit so I need to cut the salt for both that and wat retention. A good breakfast starts all of that.

6. Hygiene Routine: I would put this Shit, Shower, and Shave. Ultimately I am just getting the hygiene done so I am ready for the day.

7. Get Dressed: Pretty self-explanatory. On days I work, it’s getting dressed for work Otherwise it’s shorts and a T-Shirt for home or something else if I am going out that day.

8. Reading – I was going to do 3 chapters a day, but my Goodreads goal is only one book a month. So 1 chapter a day. With non-fiction, I am adding the read it again and take notes second run so this should make the 12 books a year make more sense.

9. Write for the blog: I am going with; 1) Write the rough draft one day and 2) Then edit and post the next. This is a conscious effort on my part to write every day but also to pay more attention to editing. Something that every writer needs to pay attention to more often.

10. Get Ready for Work (if needed): Self-Explainitory. Balance of time (if any) is spent resting.

The whole point is to get off to a good start personally each day with the daily goal of focusing on myself, and then keeping everything else that day in that context.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!

The New Year: “Be It Resolved…”

Happy Sol’s Day!!!

Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not hold much to New Year’s Resolutions. I do however believe in a quarterly assessment of my goals and vision for myself. If the new year is valuable to me it is in the assessment of progress and a change of course that is planned. A course correction and seeing I am completely off course, time to chart from where I am at to where I would like to be next year. I think this year I will head in the direction of ‘be it resolved by the end of 2023, I will…” Then list the needed things to change.

1 – Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, my morning routine will be well established.” My routine every morning will help with a lot of my coping mechanisms. In fact, most of it is a list of my coping mechanisms in action. 1) Get Up Early and Make Bed, 2) Meditation on the Nine Noble Virtues (5 min), 3) Full Body Stretch, 4) Weight Lifting, 5) Good Breakfast, 6) Hygiene Routine, 7) Get Dressed, 8) Reading – 3 chapters, 9) Write – Rough Draft or Edit and Post for the Blog. Yes, I will be writing every other day from now on. The main focus here is me and keeping my depression from hitting me by keeping myself healthy and mentally focused.

2. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will return to Michigan. I need to get back to a place where my depression bothers me less. It is closer to family and hiking, camping, etc. I love. Michigan people are my people. Houston just incites my depression. too much

3. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will change careers from teaching to something less stressful and just as or more lucrative. I need to finish my contract, but after that, I am done. This means everything currently must be up to snuff as far as credentials, professional development, training, etc. Then on to what? I don’t know that yet. Kind of like returning to the land you left to find out what has changed that you can take advantage of. I guess part of the challenge will be the discovery.

4. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will more actively pursue my new love – my shieldmaiden – if she will have me. I need to find her first. But something tells me the way to attract such a woman would be simply to be the best man I can be and see who is attracted to that. I think the only thing I am going to do here is, move to Michigan and then just be me. I do think I am going to be growing a full beard. Something like the gentleman below but my coloring will be different. Going to make myself into the healthiest, most masculine, and the sexiest old man I can be and see which female warrior is attracted to that. Time for this Odin avatar to find his Frigg.

5. Be it resolved that by the end of 2023, I will be at peace with myself in better ways. 1) I need to write beyond the blog., 2) I need to find that outlet I need to be a voice. The Rabyd Atheist was my pulpit for a couple years, but I stopped because I realized how dangerous it is to have social media career and be a teacher. I actually am taking a bit of risk even with this blog. This is probably one other good reason to change to something that does not have that risk. 3) Have paid off as much debt as possible by the end of the year. The move is going to take money, but I think most of the small bills will be gone by February, and then it is my car. If I move back to Michigan with nothing but student loans, I will be in good shape.

So there it is – my five – “Be it resolved”. Should be an interesting year.

I remain.

The Rabyd Skald – Wandering Soul, Bard, and Philosopher.  The Grey Wayfarer.

Skal!!!